The book I am digging into for you is:
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Brandon Handley 0:00
Hey there spiritual dope and welcome back to Are you ready to succeed? We’re doing some deep dives on each of these chapters with primarily just because I love doing it, right. I love doing I love going through this book. This, like I said, about my fourth time going through the book. And each time I go through it, it’s a little bit different. And I learned, I realized that I’ve learned something new, right? Because it’s not that it’s not so much that I think I’ve talked about this and one of these pieces, it’s not so much what the book is teaching you about what you know, it’s about your ability to grasp the concepts, as your knowledge has changed throughout time. So and also in other news, man, you know, super excited again, I love this book. I love the author, I love his TED Talk. And I’ve been able to book him for the podcast, I don’t know how, how exciting is that? It’s not really something that I really saw coming ahead. But you know, what, there was a, you know, a couple days a couple weeks ago, just kind of on a whim, reached out to him, I reached out to this PM, and I was able to secure a podcast interview with him. So How exciting is that? I guess, you know, kind of how you’d know nothing happens if you don’t ask right, guys. So this, this chapter that we’re gonna be working on is called, it ain’t real. And what he’s going to walk through here with us in this one is mental models. It’s kind of like what what is a mental model? And, you know, where are they employed? The deal is that, you know, you’ve got, you’ve got mental models for what’s true, you’ve got mental models for reality, you’ve got mental models for like, these are the facts, right. And you also have mental models for work, love and family. And basically, you know, you put a model up for just all kinds of different ways that how what, how is truth proceed? what is reality? How do you discern what the facts are, right? You’ve got a specific way that work looks for you. And your, your view is going to be different than mine. Same thing with love. And likewise, with family, it’s definitely something that I learned while doing fatherhood. For the rest of us podcast, everybody’s got a different view on on how the family is supposed to work. Right. But in general, they all kind of work. In, in the book, he gives a couple of different sample models. And kind of like these stories, one of them is the idea of, hey, you’re not a part of the fast track crowd and you don’t fit in and you’re at work, right? I and then eventually you go through this kind of mental model, it builds kind of spirals down. And in the end you you decide that you’re just not going to put in the effort, because you don’t fit into this crowd. And you’re just gonna look to the next best thing, right? That was one of the models, it’s definitely more detailed in the book. And then another one of the mental models that he’s got there is what men what women think, men find attractive. And then, you know, she goes in this in this model, it’s a woman and she goes through the whole idea. And she’s like, Well, you know, I just don’t fit that criteria. So finally, I’m just like, you know what, I’m not qualified. I’m gonna die alone in old spinster. Right? And, you know, that type of thing, and that kind of that kind of mental thinking. So, you know, if you’ve got that type of thinking, you know, what, second, what’s that? Gonna? Eventually, you know, how’s that gonna play out? Right? You’re not going to act on something, if that’s your model. Another another one, this one’s actually it reminds me of the other model reminds me of kind of like a Wayne Dyer story. And he’s talking to a lady that’s getting ready to move to Chicago. And she’s like, Well, what do you think it’s gonna be like there. And Wayne Dyer goes, well, what’s it like? Where do people you know where you are now. And she goes, Well, the people are great. They’re really kind and generous and all these other things. And she goes, Yeah, that’s that’s pretty much what you’ll find there. And then another lady comes up to them, and she’s moving to, you know, some different spaces as well as wage because hey, Wayne, what’s it going to be like, when I moved there? She’s like, he goes, boop. How are the people where you are now? And he’s like, She’s like, they’re, they’re bitter. They’re angry. They, they never help out the room, because that’s pretty much what you’re going to find when you get there. You know, what? The deal is?
Brandon Handley 4:57
where you are, right? It’s like, wherever Whatever it is, like where you are now, it’s gonna be like that when you get there. It’s like, you’re taking that with you. And that’s a model, right? you’ve kind of got it got that built in. So he presents some different models that you can go ahead and employ in your mind as you go through this book. And it’s better to ask, right, if when you’re presented with a new model, it’s better to ask yourself is, does this new model work better for me than the one that I’m currently using? If you come from the background of, you know, how can you reframe that, right? It’s really kind of like, you know, your model is real similar to the story that you tell yourself that you are, why you are where you are today because of XYZ, right? That’s the story you’ve been telling yourself. But is it possible if that story is not quite right, so what happens if you decide to rewrite your story, right? Try a new model out for a while rewrite your story. And then if it still isn’t a fit, then drop it, I love it. Because so many of us, we want to hang on to this story, you know, we’re so emotionally invested in this story that we’ve created for ourselves that we’ve got to keep it. And he’s like, if it’s not a fit, if, if this is working for you, if this isn’t working for you, then drop it, find a new one, find a new model, and use only what works for you. You know, these are my these are essentially models. And we’ll get to the idea is like these aren’t real, it ain’t real, right. So it doesn’t really matter which one you pick, but pick one that is working for you. The he gives you he gives you a mental model exercise. You know, I don’t think this is really fair for me to go ahead and list out the entire thing or, or even share out like all of the individual stories, aside from the kind of give you maybe a synopsis of them, or give you an idea of what some of these are, right? But the first one is my mental models, right? This is write out your mental models in different areas. And you know, he goes to some of the some of these exercises, as you’re going through them, you’re gonna see your mental models, right. And you’re going to make some changes in your mind as you’re going through them. Because now you realize that you actually have that ability, you realize now that you have the ability to make a shift, to change some of your mental models, when that moment happens. And this is another thing that I love about this book, this is the very first book that I recall, that instructed you to stop reading, stop reading for a moment, and stop trying to push past that moment and savor it. Savor that moment and enjoy and relish in those new thoughts or revelations that you’ve just had. This is my own note right here. If you’re not willing to do these exercises, if you’re not willing to do the exercise, any book that you read, if you’re not willing to do the exercises, when you get to the exercise, I think it’s I think it’s really fair for you to put the book down, because that’s an indicator that says, Would you get the book for right? If you’re not willing to try it out? Then Then if you’re not willing to take action on some of those nuanced, not, you know, some of those new exercises and new ways of being that the maybe not now, maybe don’t do it right now put the book down. This is just me talking. Because I, I know that I’ve gone through many books and done it and haven’t done the exercises haven’t followed through, haven’t gone through it. And I do know that I have with this book and a couple others and each time that I actually follow through with the exercises, my life is changed. And any it’s funny because I don’t know, if you’re listening on the podcast, and I’ve been able to see inside of the book at the exercise, you know, says, you know, when you’re tempted not to do an exercise, resist the urge you only get out what you put in. And you know, I think one of the one of the years I did, it’s like I’m doing this now, like I stopped and I you know wrote in the book, I’m doing this now and I stopped to do it again this year. Alright, we had to take a break for a second there, but we are back.
Brandon Handley 9:44
It was dinnertime. I think I think we’ll keep going here. So again, if you’re not if you’re not willing to do these exercises, I don’t think that you’re just not. You’re not ready right now. And that’s okay, too. But you’re in luck, you could only just go ahead and read the book. I’m not saying don’t, um, you may, you may find an exercise past this one that you’re able to do, and then realize just how just how much these, these doing these exercises does help. So it’s not real, I love this, you know, he talks about the whole idea is that you cannot unlearn an idea that has taken root. And that’s really, really why we got to be careful about what does go into our minds and what we really think about because once we once that thing kind of gets in there and seeps in there, it’s it’s almost impossible to to unlearn that idea, that concept, it’s in there forever. Everyone perceives the world differently. This is what what he says here in a book that is the the bedrock of effective negotiation is to understand here that somebody else is going to perceive the world differently, and try and figure out what that difference is, so that you can effectively negotiate. This is a universal truth. The fact is that everybody is going to see the world differently. foundations of a worldview can change when we look inwards. When we recognize the whole idea, the whole idea, then is when we recognize that someone or anyone has different views, we also realize that we have the capability to change our own as well. So we can change our models, we can change the foundation of our own worldview. Once again, we get in there and we make it and make it seated. Look, we got people out there that did a to have a flat Flat Earth view, right? Who really truly believed this, because, you know, because somebody has been able to spell it out in some way that is, that makes sense to them. And that’s really all you got to do is figure out a way to where it makes sense for you. And ultimately, your your whole worldview will change as well. So our worldview isn’t even really knew. The deal is that we’ve made it out of mental models. And then once we create these mental models that we discuss, we live within those constraints, we create something based off of our perceptions, you know, what it is that we think that we’re seeing based off of what we know. And then we live within those constraints, we are making our own prison the most, or, you know, or, or we’re creating our own freedom. So it’s merely a construct, you have dozens of models, that you stitch together to create the fabric of your very own reality. I love the concept. And the idea that he puts in here is each each one of these models that you put together is like the facet of a geo disc home. And the deal is if one of those facets isn’t real, then maybe none of them are, maybe none of them are therefore, therefore, this son of a bi T, therefore, your life is not real. And never has been because you base it off of these concepts, these ideas, these constraints, your perceptions. Right, and so that part, so I remember reading that for the first time, and it blew my mind, too. So the deal is you made the construct, you live in the construct, and there are equal parts of that construct that they’re real and unreal, but you made it, you live in it. And then this piece right here is kind of the next one that would, you know, just kind of blows the lid off. The life you are living is a reality. The life you are living is a reality. He says your mistake is thinking that it is the reality. All right. I mean, when you think about it, when we think about how do you even envision your future, or you’re sitting there and you’re like it could go this way that way or the other way. You’re thinking about all of those multiple possibilities, all those multiple realities that
Brandon Handley 14:41
that could actually come forth. We’ll pause it here on this part, and this would be long enough and they’re about 15 minute mark and we’ll finish it up. So this is going to be the It ain’t real. This will be the end of it. A real CHAPTER TWO OF sukumar. Rouse, are you ready to succeed? And we’ll pick it up here we go.
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