After watching Dr. Srikumar Rao’s Ted Talk on Happiness several years ago, I jumped onto Amazon and bought his book “Are You Ready To Succeed”… in the beginning of his book, he tells you who it is for and the best way to approach it… I promptly put the book back down.

I was not ready yet.

Later that year I picked it up, created a mastermind and dove into the book with several others.

I have done this now for the past 4 years, and each time I read the book Dr. Rao surprises me with something else… it is a completely different book each time!

Finally, I picked up the phone and called his office… I had a great chat with his PM and she helped to secure an interview for the show.

This was absolutely one of the highlights of 2020 for me… and I hope that it is a highlight for you…

Just wait until you hear his introductory statement!

Check out his Creative and Personal Mastery Program here: https://theraoinstitute.com/learn/

The TED talk can be found here: TED Talk

The book that lead us here over here:

Enjoy the podcast!

Transcription is machine generated by Otter.ai

Brandon Handley 0:43
Hey there spiritual dope. I’m on today with a very special guest Dr. Srikumar Rao, he is the founder of the Rao Institute and the creator of the pioneering course Creativity and Personal Mastery. Srikumar Rao helps leaders around the globe transform their lives so they can experience abundant joy, no matter what comes their way. Dr. Rao is a TED speaker, author and creator of the pioneering course creative and personal mastery. Yeah, I’m gonna throw a couple of pieces in here, most of my guests would have found you probably through mind Valley, or the TED talk that you and I were talking about. That’s how I found you to be hardwired for happiness. I’m so excited to have you here today. When Dr. Ron and I were talking here just a little bit before this, but Dr. Oz didn’t tell you, you know, there’s one question people always ask you, if you’re hanging out at the bar, and you can have one person that you could talk to? I think you’d make that list for me.

Unknown Speaker 1:40
Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Srikumar Rao 1:42
minority.

Brandon Handley 1:44
You know, just cuz the words not out, I guess enough about you and what you’re doing. Like I said, I always share your book with people who I think are along the way, whatever that means to them. So, Dr. Rao, how I like to start these out is is you and I, you know, we’re kind of, you know, source energy flows through us, right. And the idea is that, you know, the universe speaks to us, and to specific people that are listening to this podcast, or they’re watching the video, what is a message that is coming through you today that you would share with those people,

Dr. Srikumar Rao 2:15
the message that I like to share is that you are not who you think you are, which is a particular body, mind, intellect, complex, you identify with that. But that’s not who you really are, who you really are, is the omnipresent on this see, and ever present awareness that is beyond both time and space. And the biggest mistake that you made in your life is to identify with this particular finite entity and say, That’s who I am. But that’s not who you are. And it is your obligation to yourself to recognize that you have made this error. That’s a tough one.

Brandon Handley 2:59
Right? That’s a tough one. So

Dr. Srikumar Rao 3:01
normally, I don’t go into this particular rabbit hole, certainly not this early, and certainly not in public. But there’s something about the conversation that we had earlier, which said, Hey, you know, let’s just do it and let the chips fall where they may

Brandon Handley 3:17
100%. I love I love that you’re bringing it up right there at the beginning? Because one of the questions I would have is, how do you recognize that right? Even if even hearing that somebody hears that, how do they go about rectifying that?

Dr. Srikumar Rao 3:32
That is a very good question. And the short answer to that is it requires both a lifetime of effort, and no effort at all. That sounds like a paradox. It is a paradox. And paradoxes are only resolved when you reach a higher level of consciousness than you were in when you created or heard that paradox. It’s a little bit like the protagonist in the book, The Alchemist, which is a wonderful one had to go all over the world to find out that what he wanted was right where he was. So it’s pretty much that way we identify with this particular body mind, intellect complex, but that’s not who we are. And there are countless sages and you know, realized beings who have pointed out the way one of the persons who’s had a profound influence on me is Bhagwan Ramana Maharshi, who was an Indian sage, who lived in the late 19th and early 20th century, mid 20th century, he actually passed away in 1950. And he has written numerous books, his disciples have written numerous books, which are transcripts of instructions that he gave. So he is a phenomenal source. He is recent, there are many persons who have observed and recorded his teachings that firsthand. So something that he says at some particular point in your Or evolution will suddenly make so much sense that he will stop almost as if you’ve been hit on the head with a hammer. And all of a sudden it will become completely clear to you. We have this mental chatter, which is this incessant talk going on in our head, you know, what is this guy saying doesn’t make any sense. You know, what does it mean? I’m not the body. Of course, I am the body. You know, all of that is mental chatter. And it’s always been with us mental chatter is like an unwelcome relative who showed up at your house, and you can’t kick him out. But we tend to ignore our mental chatter, suppressive work grounded to the best we can, despite that, and that’s a big mistake. Because our mental chatter really creates our life. We think we live in a real life we don’t we live in a construct. And we created that construct with our mental chatter and mental models. And once we recognize that, we’ll find, hey, if I don’t like what I am experiencing, I’m going to go in and change what I have created. And when you do that, you’ll find it’s possible to get to a point where every day is a blast, you get up in the morning, you’re profoundly happy choice, not because something happened, but you are so profoundly choice. And one day you discover that there is no you and there is only joy. So that is a life journey, if you will, but many stages, and even a very cursory application of the kinds of things that I share in the book, are you ready to succeed, will immensely immensely improve your experience of life? So the book that you created, right, and talking about these shifts, and these evolutions, and, you know, being being impacted by this gentleman, you mentioned there, you went through, you went through physics, right, you’re you you went to your physics and you went to marketing, then you went to academia. And then at some point, you decided, you needed to share this stuff out, you needed to teach this in the book, right? It isn’t so much a conscious decision as an evolution, because I was profoundly unhappy with what I was doing. Professionally, I was a Professor of Marketing and a great deal of what I was teaching. I really didn’t believe in didn’t believe it or not, in the sense that it didn’t work. It did work killer, I knew personally how well it worked. But I didn’t think it was good, either for the individual or society. To put it bluntly, I think a great many products are put on the market, which essentially, humanity would be better off, you know, if we didn’t have that, do you really need Cheetos, and many different flavors of that, and 14 different flavors of coke and, you know, to pay, so a lot of creative energy, a lot of resources are being poured into stuff, which is have marginal or even negative utility to society and individuals. So I had always been reading spiritual biography, mystical autobiography, and one day I came up with a bright idea, why don’t I take the teachings of the world’s great masters, which, incidentally, I resisted for a very long time, because I have a Western mentality. And I came from Missouri. So very show me was very much a part of my ethos. And I said, there must be a lot of people like me, so let me talk to them. Not from Peters, what do you got to believe? But let me talk to them from a viewpoint of why don’t you try it and see if it works in your life. And the thought of doing that made me come alive. So I did. And I created the course it did. Well, I moved it to Columbia Business School in 1999. And it exploded. It was the only course of Columbia which is a university wide draw that students from law school, from business schools, from the School of International Public Affairs from journalism, Teachers College all over the place. And then it’s spread by word of mouth. So I’ve taught it at many of the world’s top business schools at Columbia, at London Business School, and Berkeley at Kellogg, Imperial College. And now I teach it privately in New York, London and San Francisco. Obviously, all live classes are temporarily halted because of the pandemic. But you know, it’s not going to be around forever, and we’ll see what happens. I do a lot of corporate engagements. And I also have personal coaching clients. And I only work with clients who have a enormous desire to have an outsized impact on the world, they really want to make a dent in the universe. And at the same time, they also are aware that they are on a spiritual quest, and they want spiritual growth. And many of them think that they these two are in conflict, but they really aren’t. And how to show them that not only are they not in conflict, but they with each other synchronously and harmoniously, that’s what my coaching is all about. That’s fantastic. I

Brandon Handley 10:07
mean, again, like I told you the beginning here, that’s kind of how spiritual dope came about this podcast where it’s just said, Hey, you know, there’s an alignment here, that’s much greater than if you were to just initiate a personal will, if you will, right. So you can only get so far as a person. But how far can you get as a spiritual being? Right is kind of the mental shift. Right? That’s a, you talk a little bit about the mental models. So that’s the mental model that I’ve set up for myself, that I tried to share out the podcast, you talked about mental models, again, as a construct, what would be an example of a mental model? For you?

Dr. Srikumar Rao 10:48
Oh, sure. A mental model that I have is, oh, gee, there are people who are interested in what I have to say. So let me go pull it out. That’s the model. Now understand that we typically tend to think of models in terms of good or bad, or right or wrong, that’s the wrong way to look at it. Because every model at some level is false. You push hard enough, you penetrate deep enough, it’ll crumble. And every model at some level is true. Otherwise, it will have come into existence. So supposing you say the mood is made of green cheese. That’s the right and at some point, you know, there was a moon that was greenish, and it looked to be, hey, maybe it is made of green cheese. But that’s a marble that will crumble pretty easily, you know, with now, especially now, with telescopes, and people landing on that, and so on. So the thing about models is don’t look at it and say, it’s right or it’s wrong, whether it’s true or its false. The true test of a mental model is does it work for you? Does it work for you in your life now? And the answer to that is yes, you adopted you tinker with it, you make it even better for your personal circumstances? And if the answer to that is no, you drop it. So the test of a mental model is, does it serve you well, at this stage, whatever that stages, but of course, you’re always looking out for data to confirm your mental model. And if you’re doing that assiduously, you will find that many mental models you hold, do not serve you well. And once you recognize that, you drop it, you’re always looking for a better mental model until you come to a point where you drop all bottles, period.

Brandon Handley 12:41
That and one of the things that I realized reading about that in your book, was just the idea of being able to drop a model, because we’re so emotionally invested in our models, that we’re almost scared to let it go. Even if it’s not serving us anymore.

Dr. Srikumar Rao 12:59
You cannot drop a model models are like desires. You know, let’s say you’re a smoker, you can’t say I’m going to quit, stop my desire to smoke, the best you can do is say I’m going to abstain from smoking weed. Every time someone lights up, you see a cigarette or a cigarette, you’ll say, Gee, I wish I could have a cigarette, you can’t stop that is similar way you can’t stop or drop mental models, the mental model has to drop you, the desire has to leave you you cannot leave the desire. That’s a very important point that I’d like to get across.

Brandon Handley 13:34
That makes sense. I mean, that’s how drinking was for me, I’ll call it just kind of it just fell away. It’s no longer

Dr. Srikumar Rao 13:43
a drop away. And you no longer have even been designed to that. And then you know that you’re finally free of that Incubus

Brandon Handley 13:51
to be free. Don’t give us it is very liberating. Yes, right, very liberating. So I want to get back a little bit to the part where you were resistant to, you know, going forth with the course and even before that, resistant to some of these ideas that you shared in your book, if I recall correctly, your mother’s was fairly spiritual. And she would tell you stories, and you would you would resist the stories itself. Let’s talk a little bit about that.

Dr. Srikumar Rao 14:18
But I’ve come up with good counter examples and feel very proud when I came across really good counter examples.

Brandon Handley 14:25
So what would you what kind of what kind of things would she say to you? And what would your counter examples be? And then, you know, when did you finally accept those things?

Unknown Speaker 14:36
Well,

Unknown Speaker 14:37
you ever did,

Dr. Srikumar Rao 14:38
but I think this is one that I mentioned in the book too. She will always look at everything and look on the the what we would call look on the bright side. So and many of these states are, you know, part of I grew up in India, so it’s part of Indian tradition, the Hindu tradition, if you will. So there was a tale of I Man, and he was just taking a walk. And he saw this great big watermelon. And it was rolling around in the field. And there was a, a cherry tree or a palm tree or something like that. And, you know, there were all these fruits high up. And he said, Isn’t that silly, you know, you have this tiny fruit and his way up or a big strong tree. And here’s this huge watermelon and it’s on a wide and the ground. That is silly. And then he went to sleep under a tree and a tree fell on his head. And he looked up and said, Oh, if I had been a watermelon and get a say, that was given as an example of God, or the universe has wisdom in them. Right? I looked at that and said, Yeah, okay, that’s so what about coconuts? And what about durian at that time, I used to be in Burma. And durian was a very favorite tree fruit there. And the durian is a great big, prickly fruit exactly like a jackfruit. And, you know, it grows on a tree high up, but it probably weighs around 20 pounds, or more and high up on a tree and Dorian drops in your head, you’re not going to get up and stop thinking philosophically, you’re gone. And similarly, a coconut, you know, if it’s in case, you take fibrous shell, and coconut drops in your head, again, you’re not going to walk, you wake up and start talking, thinking philosophical words. So immediately pointed that out. And my mother shook her head and didn’t say anything. Because she knew I wasn’t there. I didn’t know I wasn’t there, I thought that I just want a brilliant debating point. And I was very, very pleased with myself. So that’s the kind of thing she was always telling me stuff, which I was pushing back against. But something over she said, Actually muster seep in, because all of a sudden, it came together and came together extraordinarily powerfully.

Brandon Handley 17:07
Yeah. So I mean, I had a very similar experience. You know, my mother was always talking about being being aware. And it was all about awareness. And, you know, as you were talking about earlier, you know, I’m very well, there I am, right, there I am, I can touch and feel and see myself, what else do I need to be aware of. But you know, 40 years later, it all kind of like a rubber band into the back of my head at all, it all finally made sense. And it sounds to me, it was kind of similar for you were all the things that your mother had been teaching you at some point, boom, there it was. And did you ever did you ever have reached out to her and say you were right,

Dr. Srikumar Rao 17:43
towards the end of her life, she got a sense of that. I’m really very sorry that she had passed on before she had just started teaching the course at Columbia. And then she passed on. So she never knew how successful it became or all of the other things that happened after that. And, you know, that’s one of the regrets of my life. But she is somewhere where she knows all about this anyway, because she’s nodding her head and saying, See,

Brandon Handley 18:14
I told you so. I said, you’d be lucky. What is it one of the Dorian fruits don’t drop out of the sky?

Unknown Speaker 18:20
Yeah.

Brandon Handley 18:22
So so you know, one of the one of the interesting things that I find about your book? Well, a lot about it is interesting to me, but one of the parts is merging the the spirituality and the material. And he talked a bit about how, if you, I think I think you’re kind of talking about it with the marketing, right? If we’re just trying to sell these things, you know, there’s another color of toothpaste, there’s another thing of Cheetos. There’s another way to do it. And I think that that’s what you’re opening up to, right in the beginning of the book, we want to talk a little about like, how somebody should approach it that way, like looking for material and spiritual gains for people.

Dr. Srikumar Rao 19:02
When you’re looking for spiritual gain. A lot of people think that it is separate from spiritual, spirituality and materiality are two totally different things. But they really aren’t. We are stuck in this illusion. And there is a Sanskrit term for it called Maya. And Maya manifests itself as the world around and we’re striving in this world of Maya. And it’s perfectly possible for the US that striving as a mechanism for your growth. So let me share my view on life. And my view on life is the only thing you ever do in life is you work on yourself. And everything that is given to you is a tool which you use to work on yourself. That includes your job, your carrier, your partner, if you’re in a marriage, your children do the work you do, they’re all tools given to you to work on yourself. You use them as skillfully as you can, if you’re an entrepreneur, you run a company, you want your company to be successful, you want your employees to be happy to loyal, you want them to grow, and you try to be the best star employer you can be. But in the process of doing that, what you’re really doing is you’re working on yourself, if you’ve got a wife, you try to be the best husband, you can. But in the process of doing that, you will click on yourself, if you have children, you try to be the best father, you can. But in the process of doing that, what you’re really doing is you’re working on yourself all of these tools. So the only thing you ever do in life is you work on yourself. And it is your job, your responsibility to use all the tools you’ve been given as skillfully as you can, but recognize that there are tools and recognize that you work in yourself. That’s what everybody does. Some do it consciously, some do it unconsciously, in those who do it unconsciously, he made a mess of the wonderful tools that they have been handled. And sometimes they don’t even know that they made a mess of that. Right? You are where you are the persons who come to my programs to recognize that they have some incredible tools, and they use them with care. And with skill.

Brandon Handley 21:16
I think that you started off this conversation with telling us, you know, kind of who you are, you know, it’s your obligation to discover who you truly are, because you’re not who you you feel like you are. And so that, to me kind of aligns with what you’re saying here to work on yourself is to discover that piece, is that what you’re saying? Because I think a lot of people would interpret that, initially is saying, I’ve got to work on myself to be more successful primarily on the exterior. Whereas I think what you’re saying here is wrong

Dr. Srikumar Rao 21:47
with that just so long as you recognize that that simply is step on your path. And that’s not what you truly want. You know, if you talk to people, what do you want? What are you ambitious? Oh, I want to be president, I want to be CEO, I want to have a big mansion, I want to have a private jet. Why do you want all of that, and you’ll find ultimately, what it boils down to is, I want to be happy, I want to be happy period, I don’t want my happiness to end I want to be free from suffering, period. Right. And it turns out that the only way you can truly be free of suffering is to realize that there is no suffering to begin with, because there is no person entity who is suffering. And that’s the only way you will ever reach a stage where you are not suffering where you are eternally happy. So getting to the point where you recognize that there is no you who is suffering. That is what the great game of life is all about.

Brandon Handley 22:48
And you talk about that being a process. I still remember the first few times that I heard somebody say trust the process as I exactly what am i trusting? And exactly what is that process? My guess would be, again, that this book is most of the process.

Dr. Srikumar Rao 23:10
All you need is a portal, it’s a portal to the rabbit hole. You get down the rabbit hole is are you want to go out deep you want to go. But eventually if you go all the way, there is no you left to emerge.

Brandon Handley 23:27
What’s interesting, too, is you you have you have a prerequisite to read this book, and seven others prior to being able to even apply for the creative personal mastery program,

Dr. Srikumar Rao 23:41
the required readings, correct,

Brandon Handley 23:43
right? How did you decide that those were the seven books that were the

Dr. Srikumar Rao 23:48
filter arbitrary, and those seven have changed in the course of my teaching it? Okay. And basically, each of those books was selected, because it has the capacity to ajar you in your thinking, but maybe things are different from the way you thought they were. So they’ve got a great capacity to shake. You get the machinery between your ears working and unarrested. So you see, maybe what I thought all along, isn’t really the way the world is. And that’s a good start to entering into the creativity and personal mastery program.

Brandon Handley 24:28
Yeah, I have a complaint because each one of those books was great. Right? I was like, well, this one too. How could this be so good. Right. So the recommendations, I really enjoyed them from from the creative, personal mastery, standard reading and then you’ve got in the back of the book, you’ve got just I mean, a 12 year 12 month reading list and then I think you’ve got like a 12 year reading list if somebody was to go through the rest of the books in the back there. What if you were to rewrite this book today? would you change? Would you edit anything add to it.

Dr. Srikumar Rao 25:02
No, I don’t think I would add to it I have found I’m writing another book right now, which will cover the same material, but it will cover the same material in a much more direct fashion as I started off our conversation with, in other words, instead of leading to it gradually, as I have done in, are you ready to succeed and just come up with a guide, this is what you’re really looking for. And this, this is it and then discuss is going to be a short book I don’t anticipate will be very long, but it will be I hope, but thing, a very pregnant with possibility. And my estimate is that there will be relatively few people who are ready for that. But those people will somehow discover it, or it will discover them and it’ll be reduced to them. Now,

Brandon Handley 25:53
that makes sense.

Dr. Srikumar Rao 25:54
I model may happen may not happen. I’m fine either way.

Brandon Handley 25:58
Right. And he talks about that. There’s a couple more points that and these are all right in the beginning of the book, which I love, because you said you while you don’t dive right into the end result in front of the book, you set a stage, you set a really great stage for you know, here’s, here’s kind of what to expect. And here’s how to really leverage this book, which I really appreciated. And and in part of that was just what you’re saying there to want something, you know, enough, so greatly. Right? That that’s all you want. But to be okay with it not happening. Talk a little bit about that. Because you know, we want these things so bad. How can we want to save something so desperately but be okay with it not happening?

Dr. Srikumar Rao 26:38
That’s a paradox, Brandon. So let me tell you a story which illustrates that there was a sage who had two disciples and both of them were wonderful disciples are very conscientious, very diligent in their practices. But both of them had an insatiable desire to know when they would become enlightened. So they were constantly pestering him to say, Master, you are all seeing you know everything. Please tell us when we will become enlightened. So finally to get him off his bike, he said, Why don’t you come to me on full moon night, and I will tell you, and he was hoping they’d forget. And of course, they didn’t forget and promptly full moon light, they light it up, they prostrated before him and reminded him of his promise. He said he would tell us. So doctor, the first one and said, My son, you have been very diligent in your practice. And I’m very pleased with your progress. You will be born three more times three more lifetimes, and you will become enlightened. And he was physically dejected. His shoulders sagged, he said, Oh, my master, I’ve tried so hard. And you tell me I have three more lifetimes. So woe is me. And he walked off disconsolate. And he talked to the second disciple and said, Hey, you see the tree behind you. And it was a mango tree in full bloom, and they were bangles and leaves. They said, as many leaves as there are on that tree that many times will you have to be reborn, and then you will become enlightened. And the students said, that’s our master, you promise me that I am born so many times, and then I will be enlightened, oh, how wonderful it is. And he started jumping with joy. And the Master said, My son, you will be enlightened now. And he touched him on the forehead, and he was enlightened right there. Right? So it’s very much a factor like that it’s an oblique answer to your question, because your question, in order to answer it, you have to reach a level of consciousness different from the one where you created it. But there is both immense striving, and effortlessness. That is the thing that people find most difficult. Here’s the paradox. Many teachers, including the Buddha said, human life is rare and in human life, the desire for enlightenment is rare. So do not waste a second time is too precious work word, achieve enlightenment and this rebirth. And at the same time, things happen when they happen, the flower blooms when it is time the fruit ripens in the correct season. And there’s nothing you can do to hurry the process of. So the two are in contradiction. But they really aren’t in contradiction. They are, as I said, a paradox and paradoxes are only resolved when you go to a higher level of consciousness. So these are things that you cannot talk about logically, but you will Intuit that both of them are true. And you’re not only at peace with the ambiguity in the contradiction, but you can embrace the contradiction. That’s what my course is all about helping you recognize it’s not either or it’s both and I I appreciate I appreciate the course too, because you know, you can. And and this has been my experience so far.

Brandon Handley 30:06
I told you at the beginning here, I’m reading it for the third or fourth time. And it’s a totally different book this time than the first time I read it. And the first time I’ve read it, I’d have to say that it was primarily for personal success gains. Right, right. Right. Yeah. You know, am I right? Is the seed You bet I am, let’s do this thing. Absolutely. And as you know, my evolution has come about is, I don’t think that I’m fully there. But there’s the idea that the merging, right and understanding that I do these things with great effort, but if I do them in alignment with, you know, kind of a joy, or, again, with this podcast, bringing something to others to be of service to others, as well as myself. Things open up differently, the world opens up differently in a different way. Now, I’m just curious, did that happen for you when you created this, this course, and is that when you kind of first recognized it?

Dr. Srikumar Rao 31:06
Before I go there, let me also share with you that the paradox that I outlined to you has many parallels in the hard sciences, physics, you know, I used to be a physics major, as you pointed out. So for example, we still have not been able to reconcile what we call the wave particle duality, is light a particle or is light a wave, and it exhibits characteristics of both. So we’ve got an infrared wave particle duality, but we haven’t been able to resolve it exactly like that. You can use both, and at certain times one is appropriate, and other times the other is appropriate. But they’re both true. So coming back to my own life, yes, I am discovering that a lot of things that I tried hard and struggled to make happen. I don’t struggle anymore. I do make effort. I put it out there. But even therefore, it doesn’t seem like effort, because I’m doing it because I’m calling for, I don’t pay any attention to deadlines, because most deadlines are completely artificial. And you know, if I happen to meet it fine. If I don’t happen to meet it, I don’t beat myself up, you know, it’ll get done when it’ll get done. So I’m letting life evolve, as opposed to try to force my will upon the universe, if you will.

Brandon Handley 32:24
enjoy that. And I think that the other story that you tell in the book is how the one, you know, I was looking for enlightenment or something of the sword, and the master tells him 10 years, yeah, right. He goes, Well, what if I double my efforts, and he goes out 20 years, and it’s crazy, because that’s helped me to just kind of slow down a little bit, right, that that story in of itself is just inclusive. And it’s right in the beginning to which is, you know, again, the the the book is very nicely for, for anybody who, who’s kind of looking to do the self discovery journey,

Dr. Srikumar Rao 32:59
right? Correct. Yes.

Brandon Handley 33:01
So asking this question. You know, I don’t think it’s too tongue in cheek, but would you consider yourself along the lines of a guru? No. Okay. Okay,

Dr. Srikumar Rao 33:12
I do consider myself, a person who has been chosen for whatever reason by the universe transmits some great truths. But I want to emphasize and I state that in the very beginning of the book itself, these are not coming from me, these are coming through me. And they are the transmission of a tremendously powerful enlightened masters. And I have probably introduced distortions in them. Because if, by being the imperfect human being I am, but I try to consciously try to introduce as few distortions as possible, but if there are distortions, it’s all mine, if there’s any power, it’s all theirs. And that’s just a statement. This is the way it is teaching this to your children. You know, being a father myself, right?

Brandon Handley 34:05
I’ve got a couple children. And I know you’ve got you know, you’ve got your children and grandparent children along the way, right? How do you try to prevent them from kind of our mistakes, right, waiting till the end of our lives? Or midlife? How can they How can they notice?

Dr. Srikumar Rao 34:23
And I don’t think you can each person has to have his or her own life journey and make their own mistakes. And a lot of the things that I see them doing, I can recognize, this is not the ideal, but there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. And I don’t even try because they have their own their own path and their journey of growth. And like, you know, my mother monster shed many tears when she saw how her son was turning out, but it all worked out in the end. So I’m not shedding any tears, you know? Call avail is available and at some point it will become relevant and what is relevant they will pick up. But it is what it is. So I try to be supportive, I try to inject this at the appropriate time. So what I think are appropriate times, but I don’t have control. And I don’t beat myself up on that either. It is what it is.

Brandon Handley 35:22
And one of the books I thought that was really interesting that you shared was the Stanford course.

Dr. Srikumar Rao 35:27
Right? And creativity in business. Yes.

Brandon Handley 35:31
And I thought that it was really interesting to that, who’s the Jim Collins came out of that course. But is that where you got the the vo j from?

Dr. Srikumar Rao 35:39
The DOJ, probably I did pick up from that. And actually, that book was instrumental in my creating my course. Because I thought it Michael Reagan pulled it off at Stanford, I can pull this off at Columbia. And I did. So he was an inspiration, man, he was very supportive of me, by the way. We were in touch for a long time after that. And he said, Thank God that you were keeping the flag flowing. Because the very year that he retired from Stanford, that course disappeared. Interesting.

Brandon Handley 36:11
That’s interesting. And I bring that book up, because when I read it, of course, it wasn’t what I expected it to be. Right. Very similar to your book. There’s a lot of universal wisdom in it. And I guess, you know, it’s great to see that that was an inspiration for you. Because again, that’s this podcast, is to show others that there’s a different path that you can kind of go along that there’s people that who have gone before you that have been able to kind of figure it out, right

Dr. Srikumar Rao 36:43
and put Yes. And put it together. These are the signposts along the way. And they’re encouraging people who are coming saying yes, there are others who felt the same way. And maybe they discovered or said something that I can use to help me in my journey.

Brandon Handley 37:01
Right. All right. Well, Doctor, I don’t have anything else really top of mine, except for you know, a big thank you for for coming here today. I know that your time is limited. I’ve really enjoyed having you on where should people go to kind of find out more about you and what’s next for you.

Dr. Srikumar Rao 37:17
They can go to my website, which is www v Rao institute.com or they can email me directly my email is my full name three Kumar, s [email protected] And if they go to my website, the rau institute.com and click on the button which says join our community. They will get information they’ll be on my list to get my blogs, and they’ll also get information about my programs.

Unknown Speaker 37:51
Fantastic. Thank you for being here. We really hope you enjoyed this episode of the spiritual dove podcast. stay connected with us directly through spiritual dove co You can also join the discussion on Facebook, spiritual and Instagram at spiritual underscore go. If you would like to speak with us, send us an email through Brandon at spiritual dove.com. And as always, thank you for cultivating your mindset and creating a better reality. This concludes the most thought provoking part of your day. Don’t forget to like and subscribe to stay fully up to date. Until next time, be kind to yourself and trust your intuition.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Brandon Handley 0:00
All right, spiritual dope, what is going on today? Today we are on chapter six. Are you ready to succeed? By Sreekumar? Rao? Again, just just just a great book. We’re on chapter six. This is which addresses this is I’m sorry about that.

Unknown Speaker 0:23
We,

Brandon Handley 0:24
you live in a me centered universe, right? You live in a me centered universe. And we are on part two. And I believe we ended at the end of where we ended up, we ended. There we go, we ended up surrender to the universe last time, right. So

Unknown Speaker 0:49
what we’ve got here are,

Brandon Handley 0:51
we had an exercise, but here’s a couple helpful Hansen. A big part of it. Maybe I said it last time, maybe I didn’t, I don’t recall. But you know, it bears repeating. It’s a consider in when you’re surrendering to the universe, and you’re working with everybody. And when you go forward with your intention, consider an idea that there’s a there’s a resolution where all parts are better off, everybody is better off. Right. And it may not be readily visible. One of the things that I studied over the past couple years is just negotiation. And there’s the the idea of pizza. And there’s two people that that want a pizza, there’s 100% of a pizza, right? But how about the idea that maybe this is a mushroom pizza, and maybe one person loves mushrooms but hates the crust? And the other person only likes

Unknown Speaker 1:46
crust?

Brandon Handley 1:48
So what do you do, we give one person 100% of what they like off of that pizza, right, they get, they get the crust, and the other person gets the entire pizza with, with the mushrooms, right? So you get 200% out of that pizza, then you get 200% of that pizza. And, and both people get 100% of what they like. So there’s opportunity all over the place out there for everybody to get all of what they want. The problem is, is most people don’t take that extra effort to kind of dig into it and figure out what that extra could be for the other person or what is that 100% for the other person. So as we move on, right, so that was a helpful hint for for that as we move on. We go into the idea that his surrender is not a passive experience. There is not passive acceptance, right? You’re not gonna just accept injustice as it comes along. And and, you know, look, there may be times where you stand up, and you stand up for the injustice, maybe you see some injustice at work. And, you know, maybe you rally the troops, and you go to stand up for that injustice, but it doesn’t work out as a matter of fact, for some reason, somehow, you end up getting punished for this adult, the idea is like don’t don’t get, you know, all sad and mopey. And, you know, dejected. Take a look at what you did. Think about what you did well, in that you stood up for injustice, right? You rally the troops, maybe maybe it was the actions in particular that they went awry. Or maybe it was the overall approach. Maybe it was the actual group of people. So maybe next time you re approach it with a different tactic or a different strategy and maybe maybe a different maybe a different set of people. So the other thing is, are you in this is it when you set out to do something that doesn’t work in your favor? Do you need to you need to try and figure out how you can simply let it go with out the emotional baggage. All right, I know that we talked a little bit about just you don’t want to be sad, morose, you don’t want to, you know kind of be attached to that thing. And then, you know, the negative emotions when you can let go of those negative emotions. It’s literally like a force multiplier. Imagine how much weight would be lifted off of your chest. If you if you could just let go of the negativity, right, you’ve got to deal with it. nobody’s saying you don’t have negative emotions. It’s not letting them drag you down and get all mired up in it. So the sooner you can let go of those and and move forward right in a positive manner and positivity meaning forward motion forward momentum, not simply like, oh, everything’s all fucking rosy and cheery. It’s a move forward. Right. And at some point, at some point, it’s gonna feel like the universe is actually working with you is actually dancing with you. It’s such a it’s a kind of a Beautiful Thing when it happens. And when it happens, this goes back to the chapter on miracles and being able to recognize that you are working in tandem with the universe to create these miracles. That’s a beautiful dance scenario. And listen, this may take years, it’s going to take years, I don’t know, most most people, it’s going to take years, it’s going to take time to get better and better and better at it, and perhaps even decades deal is you got to persist, you got to keep up on it. And you cannot fail, right? If this is your approach, if you’re letting go of negative emotions, if you’re working towards the greater good for everybody, then you really can’t, you can’t fail. So it gives an exercise of the other sensitive universe. So you’re going to pick one, you’re gonna pick one week, we picked to one hour time slots, where whatever it is that you do, you were doing for the sole benefit of others involved, right, you’re going to listen actively. And what that means is you’re going to listen, to listen, not to respond. Another way of active listening is, and this is I forget the name of the book, motivational interviewing, really great book that was created for

addictions. And people in rehab, however, is very useful in coaching. And anywhere really, you teaches you how to actively listen very well. So you’ll listen to somebody, they’ll talk, maybe you’ll ask him a couple questions. And it’s a little It is like he Miller’s the author. So one of the things that he recommends, and this is listen for for two lines, and then you’ll kind of reflect back to them. Right? Listen, question, question, reflect back actively, you know, what you just heard summarize it. And there’s different ways to do that. So, but while you’re doing that, too, you will think of ways that you can be of service to them? How can you help this person move forward, again, you know, positive momentum, or, you know, deal with their situation, or just, maybe you’re just there to listen, and that’s okay, too. So you’re going to practice, you can practice this with strangers anonymously, right? You don’t have to tell somebody that you’re doing this and you can you can you think of ways that you can be service to them, and you just go do it. And what you want to do is you want to take me my an eye out of the picture while you’re listening. So, you know, especially those variables, and then don’t just go give everything away, right, don’t just let it all go. Given this comes from Buddhism, and you give with wisdom, right, you know, give with wisdom give with, like, where you you feel like, it’s going to have the most impact and, and that’s one way to kind of approach that as well. Be creative, there’s so many ways that you can go out there and you know, help make somebody’s day or help this, you know, person out and in a one hour time slot. And so ideally each day, you know, so you’re going to do that, right. And then there’s other pieces, so each day, deliberately and consciously do more than one thing to make the world a little bit better. One of the ways that that I found are a couple of ways, especially given our social media nature is hey, you know, go out there and given give out some LinkedIn recommendations, right? Maybe you’ve got a friend that’s written a book, go leave Amazon book review. Maybe you have a friend who’s got an Etsy shop, share their shop, buy something from them. Maybe again, that’s the you know, same for people that have written a book, a friend of yours writes a book, don’t ask for them to give you a copy, buy a copy, support them. That’s what support is support isn’t reading it for free. It’s going out there and you know, how can you support that person and give them some encouragement to help move them forward? I’ll be practical and empathize. Your attitude I’ve got here in parentheses is is actually your approach. So attitude is actually your approach. It is super important to not expect gratitude from others for what you’ve done, rather be grateful that they have allowed you to serve them. Right be grateful they’ve accepted your gifts. You know, essentially with the universe moving through you creative source moving through you has given you the capacity to gift to that person. So you’re able to serve and that is a gift right that they’re they’re giving you a gift by by allowing you to serve each day make someone’s day is another piece of this. Hi, again, I go back to the LinkedIn recommendation somebody on Facebook, so on Insta share their share their post, make a comment You know, show them that they’re not alone and whatever it is that they’re going for and doing. That’s these are super simple ways that you can help make someone’s day friend alien that I’m doing this with, you know, she writes, she writes a newsletter, maybe you get somebody newsletter reply back to the newsletter, and and say, Hey, I really appreciate you know what you wrote here today, thanks for sharing. And oh, I didn’t see it. From my perspective, just a little bit of there are so many I know, there’s so many newsletters out there and so many materials out there. But some of these are genuine and written from the heart and not strictly written to get you into their program. Right. Some of these are true, true things. So what do we got here? That’s one way you can make someone’s day, eventually, you know, this practice becomes a part of your life. It’s not just, it’s not just Hey, I did this for the one week. Now, how many of these can string together? Like with meditation with exercise? How many of these great moments Can you string together in your life? Where it’s consistent, and it’s a steady flow of the universe giving through you to how cool is that, right?

So the idea, though, is that this is true of all the practices in this book. This isn’t just for the duration of going through this book or doing these exercises. It’s for the rest of your life, right? I mean, it says, you know, appearance isn’t something that’s going to happen in days or weeks. Now, that being said, you will notice, like almost immediately the benefits, but imagine, you know, just how great the benefits are in such a short period of time. Right? Well, those benefits be over time. However, there’s benefits pay over time. So it’s common for this is under helpful hands. As we finish up the exercise of the other centered universe, it is common for others to feel dejected, if they do not get the response that they’re looking for. Now, listen, if this happens to you stop, stop at. Focus on how you are feeling. When you do what you set out to do. Focus on how you’re feeling when you are giving or when you are in the process of doing it. Not so much the outcome. Obviously, you want to give the gift you want to serve in some capacity and manner. It’s while you are doing that, that you feel great. And oftentimes, you know, if somebody does react positively, you’re great. And you know, that’s a good feeling. But if if they aren’t responding the way that you feel like they should just stop it, relax, chill. Let’s step back a second focus on what it is that you set out to do. What was your intention when you got out there to go do it and eventually, you will find joy in what you do, and not the results that you get. I think that that bears repeating, you will find joy in what you do, not the results that you get. So there’s always some way to make someone’s day Don’t be lazy, figure it out. And then finally, you know, keep a journal so you can flip back and reflect on how this process has been working out for you. So had to whip through that one wanted to get it out there for you. This weekend will be the release of Sreekumar Rao’s podcast super excited about that, as I have been with so many others in and this is it’s it’s interesting the journey that this podcast is going on. So anyways, take it easy, don’t have a sign off and we’ll chat later.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


These two books will help with the concept of surrender in greater depth and detail.

Unknown Speaker 0:00
What is happenin? spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here, voice of a generation as we jump into yet another chapter of Are you ready to succeed? Hello, you know this was already ready to succeed is by Sreekumar Rao. And I love how has pm a lot of gruesome conversations with her. She says this is a there’s kind of it’s in my voice, right? How am I seeing this and what is what is my take on it in all honesty to like this, this, this just helps me to dig deeper into the content helps me to get closer and more personal with this content. And hopefully, you know, hopefully it’s something that brings you some value, right? Hopefully, this is something that

Unknown Speaker 0:54
once you’ve been introduced to it, it has a tremendous impact on you, just like it has had on me over the years. And you get some big takeaways. So what we’re going to talk about today is chapter number six. Your me centered universe creates the stress in your life. He says, Hey, you live in a me centered universe. I still remember first time I saw this as like direct attack, shots fired man street from our man. It’s not cool. But it’s true, right? No matter what happens to another, you worry about how it is going to impact you. No matter what happens, you know, something happens to your wife, your son, your daughter, your mother, you’re like, well, geez, how’s this going to impact the rest of my day?

Unknown Speaker 1:45
I’m guilty, definitely guilty of it. This is inclusive of your altruistic measures. Anything, anything that you feel like you’re doing altruistically, more often than not, you’re like, Well, you know, how are people gonna see me out to this outcome? What are people gonna think of me? And I remember when I first started my journey of, you know, kind of social networking and getting out there it was, it was, it was so it was for a reaction.

Unknown Speaker 2:15
Did this was soccer coaching, I was like, Well, I’m gonna go to soccer coaching so that I can network and possibly meet people and further my career versus, hey, go out there and do this for the right reasons.

Unknown Speaker 2:27
Nonetheless, you know,

Unknown Speaker 2:29
it’s still, I still still got out there to the coach, and I still had a good time. But I didn’t, you know, it wasn’t wasn’t with my heart in the right place that time, same thing, you know, with Toastmasters and other functions. So definitely done things myself, historically. And even to this date, where even if I feel like it’s for a good thing,

Unknown Speaker 2:49
sometimes there’s something

Unknown Speaker 2:51
backed into it that says, this is this is for me, and the the outcome that I’m looking for.

Unknown Speaker 2:57
We don’t want to hear, but it’s true. But it’s true. It’s true. So he launches into you know, a real simple exercise that you can do, just to see how this shows up in your life. So this should be super easy for anyone right now out there using zoom or Microsoft Teams, or, or anything, right, simply record a call that you’re having, and listen to how often you say, me, I or my, I should go check out you know, my podcasts I’ve done for interviews, right? How often How often do I say I’m here? Or am I right?

Unknown Speaker 3:33
And, you know, reflecting even right now, I’m sitting here reflecting on I’m like, yeah, we’ll want to do it aren’t aren’t I just trying to engage or share an experience? And maybe not right, you know, inherently made. That’s just the ego showing up. I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist. So listen, this is a big one, this so this one’s super, this one’s super helpful. says, Hey, you know, this is we’re gonna talk about the stress in your life. Right, Jay, and again, you are me centered universe is what really is the creator of all this stress in your life. And when I walked you through this, when I walk you through this, you’re gonna you’re gonna be like, Oh,

Unknown Speaker 4:12
just way I’ve been right. So Sreekumar walks you through this, it says, you know, things are always going on. And you were always, always going to react to them. The thing is, you’re not, you’re not reacting so much to the event itself. What you’re doing is that you are reacting to the potential future outcomes. Now you’re worried about what’s going to happen. If it doesn’t work out in the way that you want it to.

Unknown Speaker 4:45
or the give much thought about it. Honestly, you hardly give much thought about it working out the way that you want it to.

Unknown Speaker 4:53
And that’s because oftentimes, it seems seems like the universe is against you, right? And look, it’s tough to accept

Unknown Speaker 5:00
Thing is, you know, this even this even seems to compound and cause more stress, right? Because you’re like this is, you know, I want it to work out this way. You are you’re you have a desire for a specific outcome and you believe that should you follow XYZ steps, the universe

Unknown Speaker 5:22
should fucking reciprocate. Right? And then it does it. And then it does not reciprocate. So you

Unknown Speaker 5:31
take it personally.

Unknown Speaker 5:34
How often you know, I can’t stand? I can’t stand the acronym FML you know, people were like, Fuck my life and I really wasn’t what a guy hates me or maybe Yeah, then I’ve been I’ve certainly been guilty of being like, man, it feels like me against the world, right? judge you against the world fucking you against the world. God hates you called another shit. just doesn’t make sense. Fuck my life. So when you react to these events, you know, it’s it’s, it’s because

Unknown Speaker 6:04
you have expectations for everything. for everyone. And oftentimes, these expectations are communicated right? You just feel like these things should just kind of act out the way that they want again.

Unknown Speaker 6:17
You’re like, hey, universe, this is how it should supposed to work and yada, yada. And then it doesn’t, you’re like, well, you’re just fucking pissy about it. So you expand a ton of energy trying to get others to conform to your expectations, right? And then when you feel like you aren’t being heard, you turn up the volume and extra notch, you expand even more energy and then the results still do not change.

Unknown Speaker 6:45
The universe, man Geez, right, right. And then it’s like, Hey, I go on vacation and it rains, I go, I go to catch my bus. I missed the bus. My bonus wasn’t what I expected and the whole the whole universe always against me not and then then. And then then this is where the compounding comes in, then you punish yourself. You become uptight, you become anxious, you become irritable, you’re depressed or sit around and like you just, you just morose right and just feeling awful. And then

Unknown Speaker 7:18
essentially, like, you know what, you take it out on those that are that are close by, right, you withdraw emotionally. And you stop spending time with those that are close to you generally unhappy. I still remember I still remember that this was

Unknown Speaker 7:36
to a tee. This was how I wanted my first podcast coach, I wanted to coach with Sam Crowley.

Unknown Speaker 7:45
You know, I that’s exactly how I treated me because I didn’t you know, she didn’t react the way that I wanted her to.

Unknown Speaker 7:52
And I recall feeling this way. At the same time. You know, it was during that time that I was feeling that way. I was like, You know what, this is? The I did I put it back on me I was like this, you know, she just was acting in the way that she thought was

Unknown Speaker 8:09
best for us and our family. And I had to I had to I had to go and understand that and so I let go of it. And, you know, eventually, you know, we agreed to go ahead and take the podcast coach, but that wasn’t before I became emotionally withdrawn, stop spending time. You know, with her, I was just generally unhappy right now, you know, I don’t know that I punished myself so much. I punished her and the family because of it. And that’s not fair. Right? That’s not fair.

Unknown Speaker 8:41
So, you know,

Unknown Speaker 8:43
Sreekumar Rao causes a very toxic cocktail. Sometimes we drink this nearly every day. Sometimes we drink this nearly every day. But you know, he goes the good news is it doesn’t have to be this way. Now, the first thing you’re thinking to yourself probably is that

Unknown Speaker 9:04
you’re going to give up all expectations, right? That’s what that’s just not possible. That’s just not possible. Everything. Every action you take, there’s that there’s expected outcome. You go to fry an egg, you expect it to fry right? The problem isn’t so much with the expectations as it is with the reaction to the outcomes. Now let’s just take a look and just say hey, look, you have a limited control over yourself really you do and you and then you have literally no control over the outcomes.

Unknown Speaker 9:42
I can’t really I mean, I can think of a million things right you even just like if you start off the day with a schedule events are planned and you think of even mike tyson is like everybody’s got a plan until you get punched in the face right.

Unknown Speaker 9:56
So whatever your outcome desired outcome is

Unknown Speaker 10:00
In the actions you start take towards that sometimes your day ends up, you know, just like I said, you start off your day with a plan and your day just ends up turning out completely different than you had thought that it might turn out.

Unknown Speaker 10:13
You know, so he says, Hey, you, you do something with the desired outcome of a more often than not, you get result B, C, D, E, or even f. So, if that’s all going on, how do I prevent, you know, the toxic feelings you might be asking? So one of the things that you can do is just accept whatever outcome occurs, right, then whatever it is, this is the outcome, that’s the outcome, there’s not a whole lot, you know, that you can tie your energy up with the the outcome, especially, you know, if it’s, if it didn’t happen the way you wanted it to, we’ll pocket I mean, there it is. You can’t change the past.

Unknown Speaker 10:52
Except whatever the outcome is, hopefully, you can do it cheerfully. You know, there it is, I knew it wasn’t what I was expecting. And he says better yet.

Unknown Speaker 11:02
If you can actually embrace the outcomes,

Unknown Speaker 11:08
I don’t know of any scenario.

Unknown Speaker 11:10
I can think of plenty of scenarios, actually, you know, I think about even being let go from Cisco a couple years ago, I

Unknown Speaker 11:20
felt like a weight the way the world was lifted off my shoulder, actually, I didn’t brace it, I was like, great, you know, now Now, this gives me time to kind of go fine and opens me up to go do something different, find what I really want to do, or just try something different.

Unknown Speaker 11:37
Total, totally unburdened by something. And then, you know, the idea is, just doesn’t mean you compromise your values, right? This doesn’t mean like you, you sit there and you watch injustice, go on, etc. And then I’ll throw this out there. As a side note, if you’ve never done a values exercise, you should check those out. And if you want to do one with me, reach out right reach out. Brandon at spiritual dope, co or hit me up on Facebook or Instagram. That’s something that you’re interested in. I think that I think it provides a lot of value if you go through it.

Unknown Speaker 12:15
Do the work, right. Good thing bad thing. Who knows? What’s the time around this one so far? Guys? 12 minutes, a little rushed through it. I want to get to a piece at the end here. That I think is gonna be beneficial to a couple people I had mentioned that I was going to be doing this one because people are looking for patience and how do you kind of you know, seriously let go and and not be so uptight and strung the fuck out. This is very helpful. Once you kind of begin to employ this practice in your own life, so it goes good thing, bad thing. Who knows? Any time that you have an outcome, you see an outcome, you assign it a label, you say hey, this is good or bad.

Unknown Speaker 12:59
There’s a little Sufi tale that he shares in the book and basically, you know, it’s uh,

Unknown Speaker 13:06
you know, a farmer

Unknown Speaker 13:08
loses his mayor. And, or stallion, whatever loses a horse. And people are like, Oh, that’s terrible. And you know, the old guy goes, that good thing, bad thing. Who knows? Next thing, you know, the horse comes back with, you know, 10 others, and he’s able to get them all locked in pretty well. And people are like, yeah, yeah, well, that’s good. He goes, good thing bad thing. Who knows? Then, you know, his son, you know, breaks, you know, get gets a horse horse tramples on his leg breaks his leg, you know, so he’s maimed and lame, can’t walk, you know, well for the rest of his life. And people go Oh, man, that’s what a shame when he goes out good thing bad thing knows. Well, the next thing that happens is that

Unknown Speaker 13:51
you know, the army is running around collecting soldiers, and they’re taking all of the able bodied men. Well, they can’t take his son because he’s got you know,

Unknown Speaker 14:01
can’t he’s got a lame leg. So you know, it goes on infinitum. Just in that way, you know, people like good thing and he’s again, good thing bad thing. Who knows? You don’t know what’s gonna happen and essentially, you know, take stock of your current life take stock of where you are right now. What do you have that you feel is good or bad? The question is, how can you be so certain that it is good or bad? Is it possible

Unknown Speaker 14:33
that you just don’t know right? Don’t know how this whole thing ends up. So

Unknown Speaker 14:41
I think is a you know better just to kind of accept kind of what’s there in front of you. So it gives, it gives an exercise, right? exercise of good thing bad thing recommends that you look back through your life. Look, the things that you once deemed as a bad thing

Unknown Speaker 14:59
has

Unknown Speaker 15:00
That thing in fact, over time become lemonade. He does recommend that you know, leave leaves the super painful shit alone, right? He doesn’t say I say like that. But he says a nicer leave the super painful shit alone. All right. But you know what what can you make lemonade out of what have you already made lemonade out of if you go back and you look over your life.

Unknown Speaker 15:25
Finally, not the last part in this chapter. But the last part I’m going to do for today. This is the surrender to the universe. exercise a little bit more than exercise. But essentially, most people believe it Where we at, again takes take a look back, right and see what kind of bad things have actually become good things. If we look over COVID, maybe something good has actually come out of that. If you look over jobs, good or bad, maybe something good has come out of that. And essentially, the stress in your life is caused by your reactions to not getting what you want.

Unknown Speaker 16:05
And you can eliminate like nearly all of this by surrendering it to universe and Sreekumar Hales This is one of the most powerful pieces in the book. And to be 100% honest with you.

Unknown Speaker 16:19
Two or three years had to go by and I’ve had to read, I’ve had to read two other books. Before I even caught just how powerful this was, in my own life. And in this book, but those two books that I’ve read, just to share is Hawkins surrender and

Unknown Speaker 16:38
Michael singer surrender experiment. I think those are really two good books that really go deep on surrender.

Unknown Speaker 16:47
So if you don’t get this concept immediately, if you pick up the book, and you don’t get it, then check out those two books. And I think it will help explain a little bit more. He says, and this is true, you know, if you can surrender to the universe, you will eliminate 90% of your stress.

Unknown Speaker 17:09
90%

Unknown Speaker 17:12
that’s nearly all of it. Right? That’s, that’s a lot, a lot. So, look, you’ve you’ve been led to believe your entire life, that surrender is for the weak. Listen, you’re not playing dead, you’re still setting your agenda for what you want to happen. What you’re giving up and what you’re surrendering?

Unknown Speaker 17:32
Are the predetermine expectations. So what do you do, you still take all of your actions with a clear understanding of what you would like to have happen.

Unknown Speaker 17:41
And this is a piece that maybe you haven’t done before, but you consciously whiz for benefit to all parties involved. Oh, everybody, every fucking buddy. All right, recognize your actions are only one possible way to achieve the outcomes. Right, you have a limited understanding of all the forces at play. What this makes me think of is, is like the Bible, right?

Unknown Speaker 18:09
scripture, I don’t even know where it comes from, or where the lines come from. But you know, he has ways which you don’t know of like then yet again, I always throw this out there. You don’t even know how you’re alive. How does DNA work? Nobody knows the exact specifics of how things work. So recognize that your actions are only one of the possible ways to achieve the outcomes that you’re looking for. And let go. I can like go go do what you’re trying to do. But then like go, right.

Unknown Speaker 18:42
Don’t go chasing it with like, extra attachment strings, just like all pull at you after what you’ve just done. So detach yourself from the outcome. accept whatever comes again, cheerful, if possible. And if it’s possible, to welcome the results wholeheartedly. Then your your perspective on them will be transformed. 100% right. It’s a whole new event. That’s that’s happening and unfolding right in front of you

Unknown Speaker 19:14
detaching yourself from the outcomes Sreekumar says is it’s it’s skill, like riding a bike. The primary reason you haven’t done it up until now, you hadn’t thought about you didn’t think it was possible. And this may be the first time that you’ve considered the possibility that you can detach yourself from the outcomes and let go of that fucking stress.

Unknown Speaker 19:36
Because you believe that the outcomes should be what dictates your reaction, right? You don’t get something you’re sad. You get something and you’re happy. And you also believe that the older you get, the less things go your way. Well, no, no, that’s great. This isn’t that’s not it, right actions are within your control.

Unknown Speaker 19:56
The outcomes are not however,

Unknown Speaker 20:00
reactions are within your control if you decide to seize control, and that’s, that’s going to take, that’s what’s going to take practice. That’s the skill you need to develop.

Unknown Speaker 20:11
And let’s see, I think that that’s going to close it for Oh, wait, yeah. So that was the process of surrender that need to go through. So surrendering to the universe, letting go of the outcomes, detaching yourself from the outcomes is really the key. key piece. Not really yes and no.

Unknown Speaker 20:35
Yes, like but it’s not detachment with everybody go fuck themselves kind of thing. It’s detachment with

Unknown Speaker 20:44
wishing a good intent to everybody involved. And I think that one is the difference maker in this whole thing. All right, guys. Stay tuned a little bit later this week, I will get the rest of chapter six out there. There’s still quite a bit more

Unknown Speaker 21:01
potent material. Probably a quick one after that, because we will do some exercises. A couple more exercises and just a few more pages to dig into here for you guys. Hopefully, you are enjoying Are you ready to succeed in the voice of spiritual dope, hopefully you’re enjoying everything that’s going on out there. This is 2021

Unknown Speaker 21:23
and it has literally already begun.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Krista Xiomara is a writer, blogger, podcast host, poet, and author. Krista lives and thrives in Austin, Texas with her dog Penny Moon and maintains her spiritual practices through the lens of Buddhism. She is committed to raising the greater collective consciousness of the world through her podcast, writings, and speaking engagements. Her first non-fiction book, “The Alchemy of Kindness” focuses on helping individuals move from self-rejection to self-love through transforming their internal dialogue with radical kindness and self-compassion to create and sustain long-term unconditional positive regard for oneself.

Podcast: http://imawakenowwhatpodcast.libsyn.com/

Website: www.iamkristaxiomara.com

Instagram: @iamkristaxiomara @ianwpodcast

Brandon Handley 0:00
321 Hey, there’s spiritual dope. Today I am on with my guest, Krista zetta mata on Ted’s butchered it, but I did my best. She is a writer, a blogger, a podcast host poet and author, Krystal lives and thrives in Austin, Texas with her dog, Penny moon, and maintains her spiritual practices through the lens of Buddhism. She is committed to raising the greater collective consciousness of the world through her podcast, writings and speaking engagements. Her first nonfiction book, the alchemy of kindness focuses on helping individuals move from self rejection, to self love through transforming their internal dialogue with radical kindness and self compassion to create and sustain long term unconditional, positive regard of oneself. Woof, we got through it. So welcome to the podcast. And thanks for being here today.

Krista Xiomara 0:56
Thank you for having me, Brandon.

Brandon Handley 0:59
Absolutely, absolutely. So I always start us off with the idea that spirit the universe speaks through us, right? There’s this inherent message that’s coming through us today, specifically through you, that is for somebody who’s listening. What is that message?

Krista Xiomara 1:23
I think for me, the message is always about homecoming to ourselves. Because we are living in a world that is constantly taking us away from ourselves and asking us to be something other than ourselves. And so I think in the vein of my book, my podcast, my own journey, it all comes back to I really, truly believe that the path to enlightenment is the path of self love and self return to oneself. I think there’s no higher purpose we all have in this life, except for returning to ourselves so that we might love and greet the world from a very different place than it usually asks us to.

Brandon Handley 2:16
That’s a fantastic message. It really is what it is. And you know, of course, the first thing that jumps out to someone that’s not in this is I mean, look, even for myself, I’d run around and and she told me years ago, that you had to go on a journey to find yourself and be like, Well, you’re right there. Where do you need to go? Right. So what do you mean by you know, there’s that I love it. What says but what is what do you mean by this journey to ourselves, return to oneself within that?

Krista Xiomara 2:45
Yeah, so I, I referenced in my book, and in the podcast, oftentimes this extended metaphor that I like to call the puzzle. And it’s this idea that we come into this world as a fully formed puzzle. And we get thrown into our families and society and to relationship with other people. And immediately when we land in our family, our family starts to take some of the puzzle pieces out to match with their puzzle pieces. Sometimes they don’t like the way your puzzle pieces look. So they they chuck them. And when you grow into adulthood, you will look into the mirror. And you will see that not only are you missing puzzle pieces, but your own pieces are disorganized and out of place. And my podcasts that centers around the idea of personal development and spirituality, which inevitably, continually cross over one another. If you go on either of those paths, they both cross each other over and in our human experience in coming home to ourselves. Part of that homecoming is about going and finding our puzzle pieces that were chucked out the window, finding puzzle pieces that that actually make a better mosaic of what we actually landed in in this life, and then putting ourselves back together as our authentic, beautiful whole selves. Because we arrived here hole, and the world tells us we’re not that tells us we’re broken. It tells us we’re damaged. It tells us we’re not good enough. It tells us we’re not thin enough. But we land literally in this human form as these beautiful whole human creatures. And to me, enlightenment in this age is about ascending beyond our current culture, and living so at peace with ourselves that we create piece around us.

Brandon Handley 4:54
That’s great. So when you talk about these puzzle pieces, and you’re telling the story, I always think about Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the King’s Men, right? And so it’s kind of similar, right? Like you’re the only one that can put all your pieces back together. Right? You’re the only one that recognizes even your own pieces. Right? And you also are the only one that has capability to recognize that this this, this picture is complete.

Krista Xiomara 5:19
Exactly. Right. Right.

Brandon Handley 5:22
Yeah. So. So let’s talk for a second on on your podcast. I’m so jealous of the name of the podcast. I really am. It’s so simple. But it’s an it’s so but it’s so perfect. What’s the name of your podcast?

Krista Xiomara 5:36
The podcast is called I’m awake. Now what?

Brandon Handley 5:39
Man is genius, right? So how did you know first of all, how did you discover that you were a personally awake? How do you define awake? And then what made you decide to be a voice for that?

Krista Xiomara 5:52
Yeah. So as many people who’ve listened to the podcast know that my journey started out, in a very weird offshoot of Catholicism growing up that was based a lot in conformity, fear and submission and denial of my own humanity and my gender, essentially. And towards the end of my 20s, I started to question start questioning a lot of things. And I started to look at the way the church taught, and the way I grew up, and the people that taught me my Christian values, and they weren’t in alignment with each other. There was a lot of contradictions, there was like a lot of loopholes, and I’m very much a type a person, and I very much love rules. And so I one day just realized there are all these rules in the Catholic Church that people are supposed to follow. And maybe people are following them to like 45 to 50%. Like maybe that’s, that’s really giving a lot of credit to a lot of people. And like, what is the point of all of this then? And that was like the first breaking I was like the first cracking open of my conditioning, my cultural and religious conditioning, where I started to question like, Well, what does this all mean? What What do I believe, and I basically pulled myself out of my religious experience, and found myself in a yoga Ashram. And that’s when I realized that in my conditioning, I was asleep. And I would refer to myself as a sleep walker or a sheeple. And then when I came onto the yogic path, I realized that there was this other more inviting, more self led way to be in relationship with yourself, the world and God. And I realized that was an awakened state and awakened a way of being with yourself. In addition to that those people that I met in that yoga ashram, were so at peace, and within so much harmony with themselves, that I knew that’s what I wanted, I could point to it, I could see, that’s exactly how I want to live in myself and live in the world. How do I get that? And so this awakening started to happen. And it was like a decade’s long journey from like about 28. to, to 37 was a huge opening and cracking open of everything. And I, like you immersed myself in a great deal of texts and experiences and ideas and curiosities and curiosity. I think, if anything I’ve learned is a spiritual practice, the practice of curiosity is a spiritual practice, they’re one in the same and you cannot go on this journey, and not be a curious person, because you’ll, you’ll bump you’ll get stuck. So if you don’t have curiosity as your lens for a lot of this, you’ll get stuck. And so I knew that when I got to the other end, I love podcasts, I love radio, I love all of that. I knew when I got to the opposite end of it, and I had matured into a place of my own homecoming spiritually, that I wanted to create a system and a community where people could go and listen to like your story and other people’s story of like, how are they navigating this awakening, which is very disorienting, very cumbersome, very scary, because you’ve got a dress like the light and the dark parts. And so my podcast was birthed in this idea of like, you wake up, and now what do you do?

Brandon Handley 9:42
And it’s so so true. It’s so disorienting, even even right from the onset. I think what you said there was, we do recognize that in you know, your your, your place of faith and religion, that just about 40% of the people They’re not following the rules. So why am I trying so hard at it right is my guess because you said your type a right? You’re like, why am I trying so hard? Why am I putting all my effort into this? And these guys are getting away with 40% something’s something’s not lining up. So and then and then, you know, that begins to kind of crack the veil, right? That begins to up against to say, Well, if that wasn’t right, man, because you probably based sounds like you base quite a bit off of that, right? Or at least from that space. And now there’s now everything’s just kind of flying off. Right? That’s the whole the whole, you know, well, Jesus, the Wizard of Oz, right, the man behind the man behind the curtain curtain. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, what you’re saying to me, too, is really, really reminds me of the Alan Watts. Knew, and I know, fans of Alan Watts, right? So it reminds me of like, when he’s talking about the monks in Zen Buddhism, when they would go up to the samurai eyes, right? And the samurai is bialik I don’t know what Samurai is do but they, you know, they do their Samurai thing. And then the monk shows like no fear because he’s a total peace with himself. Right? He’s like, go ahead, I’m good. Do what you got to do. But and, and and then the samurai sees, you know, kind of what you saw these people are so at peace. So it like they have something and it’s, it’s nearly palatable, right? You can almost touch it.

Krista Xiomara 11:25
Yes.

Brandon Handley 11:25
And you’re like, you’re like, I want some of that.

Unknown Speaker 11:29
Mm hmm.

Brandon Handley 11:29
Right. And so that’s that’s kind of what I’m hearing you say right. But uh, if you know, so how did you decide to head in you What made you go to like yoga and an ashram? Right, because that’s a, that’s a pretty big leap from from from Catholicism.

Krista Xiomara 11:47
It’s a huge, it’s a huge leap. I read and this is going to be this is the cheesiest part of my whole story, but it’s so it I can’t deny it. It’s everywhere. I’ve said it multiple times. But I had read Liz Gilbert’s Eat, Pray Love. I know. You just posted an Elizabeth Gilbert quote today. I love her. She’s everything to me. To me. She’s like my, my female Jesus on this earth. She’s so honest and transparent. And after I read her book, I was like, if she can figure out her life, and then yogic ashram, I think I can too. And she was right, because it’s the source. It’s so old. It’s so ancient. It’s so tied to the truth of what we are, beyond our current civilization. They have all of the wisdom there and their texts. So I landed in that I luckily had that yogic ashram in this tiny town of Spokane, of all places, Spokane, Washington.

Brandon Handley 12:49
Yeah, that’s, you know, it’s funny, because that’s my, my, I spent a summer up there. Growing up, it is it is tiny. Like you said,

Krista Xiomara 12:59
there’s like 200,000 people there something at the time, but yeah, and so then that led me again, like, curiosity became my guiding light. So the SWAMI who created that ashram there, Swami shivananda, Radha, this beautiful German Swami who is now passed on, but she had a prolific writing career. So I read all her books. And then I’m very much a root cause kind of person. I work in quality management systems in my regular life. And so when I want to understand something, I have to get to the base of it. And so once I dipped into the yogic ashram, which was based in Hinduism, that kind of led me down the path of Buddhism and Zen and Sufi ism, and Islam and Judaism. And then I realized I need to really understand these other religions and philosophies. And I really got into stoicism with Marcus Aurelius. And of course, then you go into the spiritual side, which is like all of the beautiful teachers we’ve had, like Alan Watts, and Wayne Dyer, and Michael Dooley, all these people have done such massive work and you just realize they’re all saying the same thing, which is, you are God God is you live a life that is honest and pure and of service of others. And that’s all you have to do and show up in this world as

Brandon Handley 14:32
so how are you accepting yourself as you know, God, right, I think that that’s definitely been one of the bigger stumbling blocks, right? Because we also, we, you know, Westerners, we’ve got like this, you know, one concept of God, right? And then Hinduism and Eastern and other spiritualities have this other concept of Gods so when you say that, we’re all God, what is your concept of that and how do you sleep at night with that? Right, like, I mean, cuz that’s, that’s definitely a challenge because, um, you know, I can tell you just from my own practice I can I can do like great meditations and I’ll be like, I can get myself to like love. But I can’t, you know, sometimes I had that struggle with, you know, seeing myself as God, right? Like I can be I am love. Right? But then I’m like I am God. I’m like, Hey, wait a second, buddy, what do you think in there? Right? So just walk me through that? Because I’d be curious to hear what that sounds like it looks like for you?

Krista Xiomara 15:29
Well, yeah, it’s interesting that you bring that up, I would say the thing, where I’ve shaken out in my relationship with God, which is too small of a word for what created us, I think. And I don’t think it’s one person. But one of the things that I, I came to terms with on my journey to is like, in Catholicism, and a lot of the Abrahamic religions, and even some of the Eastern ones, there’s this idea that God exists wholly in perfection, and that divinity equates perfection. But if you look around the world, if if a god or gods created us, there are so many imperfections in this world that make it absolutely beautiful. You can walk into a forest, like right now I can see outside of my house is the greenbelt here in Austin, which is like our, our forest, and it’s untamed, and it’s wild. And it’s, you know, it’s not perfect, and we’re not perfect. And that means that the thing that created me is also imperfect, and I’m comfortable knowing that it’s probably still evolving to, and we’re evolving together. And that wisdom that exists in me to understand that helps me connect to my own divinity and remove that disconnection that I grew up with that said, like, God is in this place, and God can only be accessed through these people. And God is only available to X, Y, and Z. But I think we are born with a god shaped portion of our of God in our body and in our soul, and in our energy that circulates us as human beings. And it’s a matter of recognizing that in ourselves. It’s, it’s not that you’re better than anyone if you know that you have God within you or that God is something you know, unattainable. We all have it. And I think the manifestation of understanding that God is within you, is when you act in kindness and compassion and humility to other people. Because that’s, that’s literally God working through you, that’s your own divinity, that the part of you that is God is coming forward. And it’s manifesting as those actions as this podcast. As of the way you help people as a coach Brandon, like, that’s, that’s you and God, that’s like you guys co creating, it’s this beautiful co creation that we all get to be a part of that has been denied, especially in the Western world, because it’s built on these Abrahamic religions and say, no Gods this other thing, but it’s not.

Brandon Handley 18:15
Fair enough. Fair enough. You know, I 100% agree with all all what you’re saying. And the one thing I would say, though, is I was recently introduced to a new definition of the word perfect. Meaning that you don’t need anything else. That’s all it means. Right? So actually, if you go to sleep tonight, Crystal, Do you need anything else? done today? You’re perfect. Today, the world you live in is perfect. Mm hmm. Right. I mean, that forest over there, it doesn’t need anything else today to be that forest, does it? Now it’s a perfect forest. Right, you know, so somebody had introduced it and just said that that was like the old, you know, way back when that’s what that word meant, like, you don’t need anything else. And if that’s if that’s the definition of perfect, then there’s a lot of us that are perfect, that don’t think that we are right, therefore we keep ourselves from saying, Man, I can’t access God, because last time, you should see me last week, that wasn’t cool. Right? Or like, you know, they’ve got all these things that that make them think that they’re being kept away from God. Right? The only thing that’s keeping them away from that is themselves, right?

Krista Xiomara 19:26
That’s exactly right. Right.

Brandon Handley 19:28
Yeah. And to your point today, it doesn’t make somebody better or worse to say, I’m connected to God. Right. I’m divine. You know, that’s, that’s basically it boils down to a choice. Is that fair to say?

Krista Xiomara 19:43
Well, yeah, and I would say the when if if somebody is saying that, that should raise a lot of alarm bells in your mind, if they’re creating that disconnection to you from them because they have a closer connection to God than you should run for the hills.

Brandon Handley 20:02
No good can come to that. That’s what that’s like the Crusades. Right. So, you know, so what made you decide to be the voice though, you know by by taking it and you know, by literally opening up you know their voice and bringing this to bringing us to the greater masses a and then be like, talk about stuffing into that like What gave you the confidence to be that person.

Krista Xiomara 20:24
Um, I mean, I’m not know if it was a matter of like confidence more than the desire to help. So like a lot of my motivations as an individual comes from the desire to alleviate other people’s suffering, whether that’s through community through the podcast through holding space for them to process things, whether it’s just been friendship with somebody, so they don’t feel alone. The my motivation was that I know there’s people that need to hear these things. And I would say the best example of that was the summer when I finally put into one conglomerated space, the journey of me leaving my religion of origin, making sense of all of that trauma, releasing it and coming home to myself. And I can’t tell you how much I’ve heard from people all over the world about how liberating it was to have somebody regurgitate that life experience that they had gone through, and that they were either at the beginning, the two middle parts or the end, and feeling like me, too. And I think when we do this work, like and you do your spiritual dope, podcast on your coaching and stuff, I don’t think there’s any deeper modality of love that we can do for each other than to see and hear each other. And I think what’s funny about the world we live in now is social media is exactly that. It’s this deep seated desire to be seen and to be heard, and to feel like you matter in this world. And I think us on the spiritual path. Our goal and creating this content is to also be a mirror to the people who are in the process of it all. Because we need each other and we need each other’s experiences and wisdom and honesty and integrity. To help us through this this journey. We can’t do it alone.

Brandon Handley 22:40
Yes, so how many? You know, when you open it up? Was there any fear? Was there any family or friends? were surprised or shocked by about kind of what you were doing in that space? How about your co workers, right? Like, I mean, is this something that your your, you know, your day job, right, you’ve got the day jobs, that’s something that you know, you share with openly there? Or is this kind of like, you go to work today is Christa. You know, I’m here working today, and then you come come home at night, and you’re like, let’s finish delivery at some people. Right?

Krista Xiomara 23:18
Yeah. Well, it’s funny, just to that point, and then I’ll answer your question is one of the things that was, was very much a bone of contention in my own life when I was in my religious upbringing and still in the church of origin was, I did feel like they’re like I had a dichotomy. There was like work Krista and then there was like, religious Krista and sometimes religious Krista could come out and sometimes only work Krista could come out or Krista in her marriage or Krista with her friends, or what not. And the thing that has been the most liberating on this path is that I the just the the ability to show up as yourself everywhere all the time is more peace than I could have ever asked for in my life. And so if people ask me about my podcast, or I’ll tell people about it and my work life, but more than anything, what has changed about diet, you know, the duality of Christa, old Krista and new Krista is that my spiritual practices come into my work life and so I’m just as compassionate and kind and, you know, harmonious with my co workers who don’t know anything about me. There’s a lot of them who don’t have never met me. I work remotely no matter what, because of COVID but, but I show up like that to them the way I show up to my podcast guests, the way I show up to my family, that I’m in relationship with my friends, and that’s the thing that has changed more than anything. So I do tell people about it. Mostly my family doesn’t really care, they don’t really even understand what it is like they’re so in their own world and in their own religious experience, still that they don’t really get it, they don’t understand that it’s a thing that it’s grown, that it has a lot of reach that people are super interested in it. So like, there’s a small subset of people I get to really celebrate my podcast with like, you are one of them. And you know, the other people in my life, like, everyone else could care less and

Brandon Handley 25:34
less interesting, though, you know, it’s all it’s always interesting to hear, you know, how you kind of charge for arthritis. What I’m hearing, you say, though, too, is, at some point, there was a merger of the two of us, or maybe there was a, or maybe the you left behind all of all of this, and you’re like, this is all I’m going to be, you know, this is who I am. Now, this, this is what this looks like, to me about like that decision? Because I think that’s pretty interesting.

Krista Xiomara 26:01
Yeah, I mean, I think that our society asks that of us, our society asks us, all of us, men, women, children, mothers, fathers, to show up in these really specific ways. And even the people that we have relationships with, sometimes don’t even want to see all of us. And so in my book of the book, that I’m writing, the alchemy of kindness, I say in there multiple times that it’s like an it’s like an act of bravery, to never turn against yourself to love yourself, no matter what you do, because we all make mistakes where, you know, I don’t always show up compassionately. Although like, I wish I could I wish I that would be like every day of my existence. But I still fail in that in interactions and certain things like that. So for me, thinking about that, that whole idea of coming home to yourself and having that, that, basically, it’s like if you think about it visually, like maybe you’re projecting out these different kind of what are they called, like emojis or I’m not, I can’t think of the word right now. But you’ve got these projections of yourself in the world. And in this journey, what we do is we like suck it all in and we become one, in and of ourselves. Because when I was living in that other place, I was very much at war with myself, I was at war with my ideals. I was at war with my words and my mind and everything. And being able to bring in all those parts of ourselves those avatars, that’s what I was trying to say, you know, we have these avatars of like, podcast, Brandon, and podcasts, or Brandon father, and all these things, these avatars, but we’re really the central core, we’re the bean and bringing it like bringing those avatars in as part of the work on this path. Because to live authentically and truly, in yourself is, is I think, again, the work that we have to do here because our society has become something very wild and different. And authenticity, authenticity and wholeness is not always wanted.

Brandon Handley 28:23
So, the one thing that I see out there a lot, and you know, again, I agree, I agree with everything you’re saying. The one thing I see out there a lot is is this idea of being the be your authentic self.

Krista Xiomara 28:36
Yeah. The bumper sticker.

Brandon Handley 28:38
Yeah, I haven’t seen it. But I haven’t seen a bumper sticker since March. Um, the the idea is, though, whoo, and what is your authentic self, and what you’re describing is like, stop, stop, stop, like projecting all of what you think everybody, you think what everybody wants to see. And pull that all back in. And really sit with yourself. Right. And, and, and, and that’s it. That’s just the one, the one self that that needs to happen. And that is your authentic self. And you’ll be able to know and feel your authentic self when every day doesn’t suck anymore.

Krista Xiomara 29:18
And when you’re not questioning everything, right, you know, you’re not in alignment with yourself. If you don’t know what you want, if you let people make decisions for you, if you feel uncomfortable, even facing yourself. Those are like the big red flags, that you’re not living in authenticity with yourself and that you are not in alignment with your core being. And I think a lot of people go on this spiritual journey. And that’s the outcome. The outcome is them coming home to themselves. A lot of the spiritual other work is healing and releasing stuff that no longer serves you and, and and finding your true self. Honestly, I’m sorry, I’m beating this To a dead horse, but it’s how I feel this journey is is. That is the purpose that, like all of us doing this work is like if we love ourselves, and this is a universal truth that I hated hearing, and I didn’t know it was true, I had to hear like 5000 times. But if we love ourselves, and we’re at harmony with ourselves, and we’re at peace with ourselves, and we are authentically in alignment with ourselves, the world aligns itself as well, because when we show up authentically, then we allow other people to show up authentically, when we are compassionate with ourselves and other people can give some self compassion to themselves and give themselves a break. Like that’s what it’s all about.

Brandon Handley 30:45
Where do you think you first saw that evidence, right evidence of that concept. And when did it finally click?

Krista Xiomara 30:53
I did say 10 years. At the yogic ashram, honestly, that was the first time where, like, the thing that with the authenticity, to just go back to the story about like, living in these dual places in my religion of origin, there was in the religion of origin, there was very much this idea of Do as I say, not as I do. And then going into the yogic ashram and watching people match up their actions with their words. And I was like, Oh, these people are living it. They’re living their true, honest, transparent, authentic selves. And I knew that that’s what I wanted, I didn’t know that the outcome would be this huge homecoming at all, I had no idea that that would happen. I just knew I didn’t want to be in conflict with myself anymore. And I felt very conflicted in my religious experience. Not because necessarily, even I wasn’t living up to the rules. But the goalposts was always moving. If we want to talk back again about the God thing. It was like, you know, I, I,

Unknown Speaker 32:05
I,

Krista Xiomara 32:06
you know, I was abstinent I didn’t do drugs, I didn’t, you know, drink, I didn’t curse, and I still wasn’t good enough for God, I still wasn’t good enough for my church, not you know, the goalpost just kept moving. And then you I went to the yoga ashram, and I’m like, No, these people, they know what they’re doing.

Brandon Handley 32:27
That’s hilarious. You know, I was never none of those things. I probably would have been incinerated going in. And that’s always what I kind of thought. Like, they’re not they don’t want any of this. Um, you know, I love what you’re saying there, you see that these people are actually living their truth. And you know, you’re living your truth now. And then, you know, I like to hear how we’ll just call it like the universe has opened up for you, because your podcast looks like you’ve had, you know, just a great run, right? You’ve had a great run, you’re having great conversations. You’re putting out a book. My guess is you’ve got more behind that. But also sounds to me, like you’ve found a way to and I’m just guessing here, you found a way to like, kind of surrender to it and let it like, be organic.

Unknown Speaker 33:19
Mm hmm.

Unknown Speaker 33:21
That’s about that.

Krista Xiomara 33:22
Yeah. I mean, if we want to talk technically about the podcast, like, like anybody else, I started, I don’t know what the hell I was doing. And I had to learn how to edit. And all of that stuff. I just had an idea that I wanted to put this information out, and I just needed to find a way to do it. And I had to figure out all of those things. And what I, I recently did an interview with a gal about how to start a podcast and one of my advice for somebody was just go in knowing that it’s gonna evolve. And that’s part of the process instead of being stuck in this like, box. So my first two seasons, I didn’t know what I was doing. I changed the format a couple times, I changed the way it was, you know, presented, I changed my branding, and I did a bunch of things. Like, I didn’t know what I was doing. And that was okay. And finally, after with a lot of trial and error, like I think our life is supposed to be it’s supposed to be this loving, existence of trial and error, and we don’t get punished when we error. It’s just a learning lesson and we pivot, right? So I pivoted, and I found the right sequence. And I found an audience that resonated with what I was saying, which allowed me to bring bigger guests on because like, the bigger your podcast gets, the more people want to come. And I was just telling a Mona, who, you know, it’s funny to think when I started my podcast, like, every week, like seven people would listen to it and now it’s like, Up to 21,000 people a week. That’s a lot of people listening

Brandon Handley 35:03
does a lot of people. Yeah, not congratulations. That’s fantastic.

Krista Xiomara 35:06
But it was yours. You know, it’s not like that happened overnight. This it has been me just diligently sitting down and saying, I don’t care about the numbers. I don’t care about the monetary compensation, what I care about is being of service to people on the path who need help. And I’m going to show up, and this is what I’m going to do, as that’s as simple as I can explain it.

Brandon Handley 35:30
No, I mean, that’s perfect, right. But again, so thank you for that. What I’m looking for is just the path opening up, right? And it sounds to me again, like you’ve like, again, you’ve kind of surrendered, right? You’re not forcing something. You’re not saying hey, you didn’t come up and be like, Alright, well, 1231 2018, I’m looking for, like 75,000 downloads and that should that be a great year, right? Instead, you said, Hey, this neat, I need to do this, this is something I’m doing. This is something that I’m doing as much for me as for anybody else, I’m looking to be of service. I’m not looking for anything other than that, like you’re you’re doing it in an altruistic nature, right?

Krista Xiomara 36:16
Mm hmm.

Brandon Handley 36:17
But the idea is that once you kind of move with your intention with your purpose, and you know, you’re in full alignment, the idea is that the universe opens up for you. Have you found that to be true for yourself?

Krista Xiomara 36:30
Yeah. And that’s one of the universal truths. I know, you and I have talked about this already that it is true. I just think that when you go in, honestly, and you ask to co create with the universe, like, honestly, things just fall into place. And there’s no easier way to say it is that like, when I wanted to do the podcast, I was actually telling my therapist about it. And she told me about this guy who happened to produce his own podcast, and he could help me and he helped me and tell me get it off the ground. And it was like, in the alchemist, where Paulo Coelho quotecolo, says, you know, like, the universe will conspire to bring everything to your plate. And it, it really is true, I think, the thing that I would leave the audience with is that you just have to continue to make actionable steps and show up and sometimes your steps are in the wrong direction. But the universe will course correct for you, it’ll let you know you’re on the wrong path. And you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. And this idea of the surrender, is that I have this idea, but I’m not tied to it. And that’s where the surrender comes in. So I had this podcast idea, and I thought I wanted it to be this thing. And I let it evolve and become something that it is today and have had opportunities because of it. In that way, is a large surrender, because I let it do what it needs to do. And I’m just kind of the conduit at the end of the day. Does that answer it?

Brandon Handley 38:11
It does? Yep. I mean, that. Nailed it. So that I mean, that’s the space though. And then I think that how would you tell someone that you recognize that you’re a conduit?

Krista Xiomara 38:25
Hmm. That’s a really hard one. I would say first go read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle Lee, and help you, you have to do I think anybody This is just a generalization, I think if you want to become a conduit, and a true co creator with divinity, you have to face the, I guess, the idea that you have an ego. And you have to kind of fight with your ego until your ego takes a step back. Because a lot of work can be done from the ego. And a lot can come from the ego. But where that becomes a problem is I think, if you’re working egoic Lee, it takes you out of that alignment, and that co creation, and then you start to have, you know, obstacles or things don’t kind of flow as easily. I’ve seen that too. And I’ve, I’ve had to fight with my own ego all the time, you know, throughout this whole process and to continue to recognize when it’s trying to push itself forward when really the universe is asking me to show up in a very different way. So I would say start there. And then just know and trust like I do say this in my book, too. It’s the it’s in the introduction and it’s the I say that When I went on the spiritual journey, there were two things that I learned. And the first one is that when you go on a journey, whether it’s like physical or spiritual, there are proverbial, you know, twists and turns and things you cannot anticipate you have to be ready for that. But the second thing that you learn on this journey, if you stay open, is that the universe is literally there to bring you the tools, the people, the experiences, anything, you need to be able to become the conduit to your own life journey, and show up in a way that resonates with people. So that we can all help each other.

Brandon Handley 40:40
Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. I mean, what I’m what I think I hear you say that, too, is uh, you know, egos, the guy that says, you know, ego egos the voice inside you saying, I’m doing this, this is me, watch what I can do. Right. And whereas the conduit says, I have the resources of the universe, and it’s just flowing through me, I literally wrote down this morning, I wrote down this morning, the idea that I’m, from a humanity standpoint, if I view myself as strictly human, then all I’m left with his, you know, my human capabilities, and the things of this world, right now, if I open myself up to being divine, or of this universe changes, right? I mean, and so there’s nothing you can’t do. Right? And I don’t have to be and I’m not the one doing it. Right. And you know, so I think that’s what I’m hearing you say, right, and kind of break in and having that breakthrough. And then looking for evidence of that, right? I think that that’s really important. Right? So to set your intention to say that I want to become a conduit, here’s, you know, you’re talking about breaking through the egoic structure, and then saying, you know, now, where am I seeing it? Right? How am I seeing it? And I think that that comes from setting an intention and not acting on it right forcefully in such a way that to your point, like you do need to take action, right, there needs to be some type of whatever move to go get it. This is, you know, the call of, Hey, this is the hero’s call type thing, you know, you’re called to go do this thing. I’m not gonna do it. And so nothing’s gonna happen then, right? There is no transformation, there is no transition. If you’re called hero’s calling, like, Alright, I’m gonna go do it. And then you’re met with obstacles, but like, right behind that obstacles, like the thing like shut up? Right? All I had to do was pick up that rock. That’s crazy.

Krista Xiomara 42:34
Yeah. And I would say that a prayer that has become like, a mantra to me is, I will literally say to the universe, like, I want to do this thing. And I don’t know if it’s right. But I’m gonna take these steps. And I’ll just wait for you to answer. And that’s literally what I do when I want to do something new. Or I want to venture out into something else, or write a book. I just say, I don’t know if this is right, this is what’s in my heart. And I need you to tell me if I’m on the wrong track, and I’ve never been misled. It’s never it’s, it’s it’s either shut doors, or open doors. And that’s how I know. And it’s like, you know, we have all of these other senses that we can tap into from our own divinity that allows us the wisdom to know what’s the next right step every time.

Brandon Handley 43:28
That’s awesome. That’s a great one. That’s a great one. So your book is coming out when when can we expect your book,

Krista Xiomara 43:35
ah, this has been like the biggest labor of love that I’ve ever had in my life. It’s taken me two years to finish this book. And I’m still not even done yet. I’m I’m My goal is to get it done by December and have it out. And in mid March is the goal to after it goes to the drafts and the covers and all of that. But my, I think also to let me just back it up for a second what I’ve learned on this, this journey, as well, and having the podcast is that a lot of people have different entry points into spirituality, how we find it some for some people, it’s addiction for some people, it’s trauma for some people, it’s the religious experience for some people, it’s, you know, no religious experience, but we all have these entry points, but we all come together at some point our experiences kind of merge at some point. But the the, the conflict that I was talking about earlier that can that was contained in my mind was also this deep seated self hatred. And that was my entry point. And because I only needed peace, and I didn’t need peace with the world, I needed peace with myself cuz I hated myself. I hated everything about me. I hated myself to the core. And it’s like one of those things that people never want to talk about. But it was a it was a very big struggle of mine. And it was my entry point. into leaving my religion that I had an inclination that it was a contributing factor to my self hatred. But I didn’t quite know if it was. And so the journey of the alchemy of kindness, the book is about, like, traversing my past to understand where did the separation happen, that I started to hate myself, because I certainly wasn’t born hating myself. I be and then I did. And then unraveling the tools that I picked up, that helped me reverse that self hatred, and then the practices and the daily living, that allows me to stay in congruence with myself and in love with myself in an authentic way, not just like, Oh, I love myself. Not like that, like truly like, yeah, like, I don’t say, a harmful word about myself, don’t criticize myself, all those things. And so this book, I knew, like I did with the podcast, I knew that once I got through that whole thing, I really wanted to create a roadmap for people to unravel their self hatred, because it is a true epidemic in our society. And the, you know, the most hardest part of self hatred is is annihilation. And so, you know, I had a couple of times where I had suicidal attempts with my life. And because I was just like, I cannot stand myself, like, I have ruined everything. I’m like, an embarrassment to my family, and all of these things. And my self hatred took me all the way up to annihilation, like it does with a lot of people. But there’s another way, you know, there’s another way and the other way is that you’re fine. And you’re great. Just The Way You Are you just have been told you aren’t.

Brandon Handley 46:56
No, that’s powerful. That’s powerful. Would you look at that, as you know, hatred is a gateway or addressing your pain as a gateway? How would you? How would you kind of determine to find that?

Krista Xiomara 47:08
Well, so for me for my experience, and I think it can be both and I’m guessing, for me, it was that I was in so much pain with my own internal conflict, like not being able to look at myself in the mirror for very long, or not being able to be in relationship with people and feel like they didn’t like me, because I didn’t like me. Like, I just assumed everybody hated me, because I hated myself to know. And the the pain of that was like, okay, there’s something really traumatic living here, that I have to address now. And what is that, and I didn’t do it on my own, which I say in the book, you know, I definitely had to go to therapy, I had to have a lot of spiritual experiences that helped me, come home to myself. And then the, the longevity of my self love really came into focus when I found Buddhism, because Buddhism is truly a homecoming. It’s like, go and be by yourself, and sit with yourself, and be okay with everything that is, but be okay with yourself. That was like the most eye opening teaching I could have received is what the Buddha did in his life. And I was like, Oh, this is how I’m supposed to exist within myself, then I can attain that, and I’m gonna live it and practice it until it’s in, like every molecule of my body. Right? So yeah,

Brandon Handley 48:46
just just be that. I love that. So you said, you mentioned your spiritual experiences a couple of times do you have like one or two that you could, you know, specifically point to as a specific spiritual experience?

Krista Xiomara 49:01
Like, do you mean through the self that allowed me to create some some self healing in this vein of the book or some are just like spiritual experiences

Brandon Handley 49:11
that yeah, I mean, you pointed to, you know, you pointed to like, along the way, having some spiritual experiences and you know, what does that mean? And what is one that might be specific?

Unknown Speaker 49:20
Mmm hmm.

Krista Xiomara 49:26
Let me think, um, I think one of the, one of the most significant spiritual experiences I had was, when I was in this really, I’ve had like, a couple dark nights of the soul. I would say, I think we all do in our life because it’s hard to navigate humanity being human. But in one particular one, it was up towards the beginning of my spiritual journey. And I don’t know why I looked it up. But I looked up like spiritual cleansing or healing or something. And I found out about Reiki for the first time. I’m, it’s an energy healing modality. And I went on and I looked at all of these people online, and I started to look at their faces. And I was like, Hmm, I could send something about each person’s, you know, you look at pictures, and you can really kind of get a sense of the person’s own energy. And I landed on this girl named Chelsea. And she is like this petite, tiny, little white, white light Angel, very creature that I don’t even think she’s human is what I’ve just decided. And she, I went to her. And I just was like, I feel like I have a great deal of dark energy within me. I’ve done therapy, I’ve gone on spiritual retreats, and there’s just this thing that’s stuck. And I don’t know how to get it out. And my curiosity led me here, can we work together, and she gave me my first Reiki healing that I had ever had. And I literally feel like she physically pulled out this darkness from my body, and liberated whatever that part was of me. And I saw her for a handful of more, have more sessions. But I think she truly was the person that I just think she did her work, so I could do my work. And I needed to go see her. And that was, that changed me I was forever changed by this very healing process that I didn’t even understand that at the time, I didn’t know anything about Reiki, I didn’t know how it worked. I didn’t understand it. And it was really bizarre going through it the first time. And but also, just like, this beautiful experience that truly, I think, went beyond the natural world of something I could never understand, I still I still struggle to understand how it all works, and how it’s all connected. But that was a really big experience that helped me, it was a spiritual tool I took on the way to back to myself.

Brandon Handley 52:24
That’s powerful. I mean, if you’ve got all that darkness, you know, caught up in Saudi and somebody quite literally able to rip it out of you without I mean, they don’t, they don’t touch you, right, like, I mean, now. This is a this is a you know, and if you can go through that and have that kind of sensation as you leave that place. And, you know, there’s no drugs involved. There’s no like weird things happening outside of that thing. That’s powerful. And that’s, that’s something that resonates.

Krista Xiomara 52:52
And she was powerful. Like, I clearly didn’t even know what was happening or what was going on. And she was so powerful that she was able to do this thing that was set me back on my course and really liberated me. And it was like all those things. It was like the therapy and it was like my spiritual journey and reading books and letting go of my ego and dispelling all the stories I had told about myself. And then I needed this other thing that could help me literally lighten up so I could enlightened because I was stuck. I was truly, truly stuck.

Brandon Handley 53:36
So the real recommendation here is go read Eat, Pray Love. Yes. And this will get you started. Right? Right. And along the way, pick up Chris’s book, which will be out in March of 2021. Right? I mean, you can just set the date, let’s just do it, right. It’s common, it’ll be there. And then, you know, go over and you wish wish was some people go

Krista Xiomara 54:00
check it out. You can just find me on Instagram at IN w podcast, I’m in the process of redoing my website and stuff. And I do have some other projects that are not ready to be spoken about. But there’ll be very exciting in the near future. But Instagrams the best place to catch me for now while I revamp everything.

Brandon Handley 54:20
Okay, so if you’re listening today, then make sure you head on over to spiritual dope or the podcast outline and the link for Chris’s Instagram to the podcasts will be available for you. So Chris, thank you so much for coming on today. And you know, sharing pieces of your journey and how you got there and just spend some time with us today. I think that I think what you shared it out today was super valuable for anybody who’s tuning in. Yeah,

Krista Xiomara 54:45
thank you for having me, Brandon. I really enjoyed our time together.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


I had the opportunity to meet Jesse in person years ago… and what a powerful presence… more I spoke with him and learned about him… the more I knew that he needed to be on this podcast!

As you know, I get to help people cultivate their experiences, uncover the transformational principles that are hidden beneath the surface, and convert those principles into a message they can monetize. As an author, speaker, coach, and executive producer I understand the value of an authentic message. A story that is birthed by a major test that produces transformation.

My clients desire authentic encouragement, graceful accountability, and a safe space to develop their message, free from judgment. Ultimately, they want to use their experiences to empower others.

You might not know that in addition to coaching, I am a husband, a father, and the oldest of my parents four children. I believe that my family is the true expression of my purpose and assignment in action. Over the years I’ve helped my parents launch several soul-food restaurants and plant and lead a few churches. I also worked in the field of education for 15 years. I acknowledge that these are all avenues from which God has been able to get His work done through me. So, for me, platform building has been my lived experience. But it hasn’t been an easy journey.

Head on over to Kingdom Mogul Coaching to connect with Jesse today.

Brandon Handley 0:00
54321 Hey there spiritual dope today I have a very, very special guest for us, Coach Jesse Cole. Jesse is, not only is he a coach, he’s a husband, a father. He’s out there he’s doing. He’s helped his parents lost several soul food restaurants. He’s helped plant and lead a few churches. It’s been in the field of education for 15 years. I mean, Jesse, you’re out there. You’re doing you’re doing TV shows. Now. You’re doing a coaching you’re I mean, you got some? I know you do. You’ve written a couple books at least. Right? So you, you’re all out there and man, I want to say it. But I know this is your line, please. I always love hearing you say What? You know, I’ll make I’ll make your page me Jesse. What’s the first thing that says there? What do you want to become? Depends on your willingness to become always man every time makes me feel so good to hear you say. So glad to have you on. Thank you for having me. I appreciate you for inviting me. Oh, man. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, so here’s how I start off every one of these. I’m so excited. First of all to have you on I know you and I we go back always now. So I feel like this one’s much, much more in your wheelhouse. Not, not much morning, we’ll have something last one, you were almost like fatherhood for the rest of us. Right. And

your father’s that was in her wheelhouse, too. This one is also in your wheelhouse. So very excited to have you on for it. Um, I feel like, you know, God, you know, definitely got it for you. Right speaks through us, right. And he speaks through us, for other people to hear us. And in that, in that you and I are having this conversation it is for somebody who is listening today. And they can only get a message that’s coming from God through you to them today. What is that message?

Jesse Cole 1:52
Learn how to wrist.

Brandon Handley 1:56
Yeah, tell me more about that.

Jesse Cole 1:57
Yeah, man, learn how to rest this is something that I’ve been learning how to do for about about the last year or so, you know, we are in this hustle and grind culture. Everybody’s going after trying to get the bag trying to, you know, grind it out. And one thing that God has taught me is that

his grace is better than my grind.

I can get more accomplished, you can get more accomplished through me

if I learned how to how to rest and flow in him. And when I first got that revelation, or that message, or whatever you want to call it, it is it was foreign to me because you know, probably like you and a lot of your listeners. We are high achievers, we’re actively engaged and, you know, trying to accomplish some goal whether you try to be a better father or a husband or a business leader or whatever, you try to do civic leader, we’re actively engaged in trying to accomplish something. And oftentimes, we can lean on our own understanding our own, influence our own education or frameworks, whatever you want to call it. We try to get that done. And we forget that it’s got to be has given us that talent Anyway, you know, he’s given us purpose. He’s given us an assignment anyway. So he knows how to do it better than we do. And so leaning into him, gives us the unfair advantage, meaning we can get more done by resting in him, then we can do by grinding it out ourselves.

Brandon Handley 3:40
Yeah, man that is perfect. Is that now? By no means? Am I familiar with Scripture? like so much right. But is that along the lines of he has ways we know not of type thing, right?

Jesse Cole 3:51
I’m the same way man. Listen, my dad, my dad is a password evangelist. But I don’t mean that I’m somebody who’s pulpit You don’t understand. So I grew up. I grew up in that house. So I can, you know, you can sit down with my dad, he can close scripture. I know what’s in there. A lot of times, I don’t know where it is. I got a trip to my Bible app to find it. But I know it’s in there. So I want to be I don’t want to come off as one of those people. That’s like super super churchy, and super, you know, bible thumper like, that is not me, right? But because I have relationship and it is growing with God. I understand that. My life can only be good by being led by him. Like, I really believe that. And so yeah, I try to stay in relationship with him. It’s not It’s not about religion. For me. It’s about relationship, and that that’s much more impactful.

Brandon Handley 4:43
Well, you know, what’s pretty cool here. I mean, that’s exactly how this podcast is kind of real similar to your story, right? As I as I go over and I look at your kingdom mobile coaching website, and I go to meet Jesse. There’s a bit in there that says, you know, You went most of your life, just kind of on your own talents and skills. Right? And then there was a moment that you had, that you were like, life change. Let’s talk about that for me, because that’s a lot about what this podcast is about. So wants to share that with the listeners.

Jesse Cole 5:19
So what did you read? So I can make sure I’m telling you that

Unknown Speaker 5:23
there are a lot of you guys. I mean,

Brandon Handley 5:25
your your, your prayer walk right. Well, coming up. Yeah. Before you jumped into before you jumped into this space right now.

Jesse Cole 5:33
Yeah. So right before that, I believe I had just got fired from my job, right. As you mentioned, I’d worked with an education for like, close to 15 years. I started off as a substitute teacher making like $80 a day before taxes. And then that was how I first got into education. And from there, he was the Dean of Students, basketball coach, choir teacher, parent teacher liaison, like, almost every other year was, you know, it was I was going up. And so my last year in education, I was actually working on a college campus as a success coach, meaning I would help students pretty much not drop out of school because it was too hard. So the program was ending and the funding was coming to a close. That’s what they told me. They let me go. And I was at a point where, okay, what’s like, what’s next? what’s what’s next? Because I don’t want to do this anymore. So, so what’s next? And so I went on this walk, one Sunday morning, I think it was like, May, somewhere around there, seven, eight o’clock in the morning, through my hoodie. And I heard, you know, heard God say, I want to talk to you, knowing God speaks to us through Holy Spirit. So it was it wasn’t like an audible voice. It was, you know, God’s Spirit, like God talking to my spirit. Like, that’s how I heard you. Get up, I need to talk to you going this way. I went on this walk plugged in my earphones, plugged them into my phone. And as I began to walk, I began to hear, he began to give me instruction on what Kindle mobile was supposed to be, from the books, to the coaching programs, to the conferences, to everything that I’m doing right now. I heard close to two and a half years ago. And as I was hearing it, I was speaking it into my phone. And I would listen to that recording over and over and over again for weeks on end, until it got burned into my brain to where I didn’t have to listen to it anymore. Now, I began to walk it out. And I haven’t listened to the recording in about a year or so I actually lost it in my old phone. I don’t even have it anymore. But it’s so ingrained in this type

Brandon Handley 7:54
of thing you put on a Google Drive Jesse something.

Jesse Cole 7:57
Know what that’s that’s a different story. It’s so ingrained that I’m beginning to walk it out. And I looked at my vision board because I I wrote the stuff down and looked at my vision board, and over 80% of that stuff that was spoke to me spoken to me on that morning, either I’ve already done it, or I’m walking in it right now.

Brandon Handley 8:20
Yeah, that’s fantastic. So if on a timeline then that’s 2018.

Jesse Cole 8:27
Quote, like maybe before the summer of 2017, somewhere around there, so there’s that like, right about when we met then was that what was that?

Brandon Handley 8:35
That was the Crowley event. Yeah, that was like 2017 that was 16 those 17

Jesse Cole 8:40
was 17 happened around the same time.

Brandon Handley 8:44
Okay, okay. All right. Yeah, man and and you know, here’s the thing that I think Yeah, I feel like after I think about seven months or so after that event, like I had something similar happen to me right like, you know, Touched by an Angel or whatever you want to call it right? Just a moment where just like, that just happened. Right? detaches happen, and you’re like, it’s a little it’s a little unsettling because you got so much you know, you got the you got the lifeforce you got you know, God energy you filled with it. Right. And, and the thing is, is I can listen to you, I think, you know, and I can hear the difference between before and after. Right, there’s a whole different Jesse, from before and after that event, right from from kind of when you were you when you when you had that message delivered to you right, and you started walking it out, talking it out and walking it out. Yeah, I mean, and and, you know, I’m just kind of bouncing off because this and similar thing happened with Father who for the rest of us, right, like I had to talk it out like the one I started talking it. It started to I started talking so much it had I had no choice. Yeah, right. So that’s really cool to hear, you know, just kind of hearing your journey. Well, let’s talk about now, how you’re applying that to your business, right? Because that’s another piece that is a challenge, right one now Now you’ve got that you’ve been touched by it. And you’re like, if I lead with this, there’s a lot of people that might not respect me, I might not be able to do the business, I’d like to do that kind of thing. So let’s talk about like, getting through that, and then doing it.

Jesse Cole 10:30
So I’ll preface it by saying this, there is no separation between my faith and my business. There isn’t, yeah, one one informs the other. And without that I couldn’t do what I’m doing. It actually drives my business, you know, I help people grow their faith as they grow their business. And so in the beginning, you know, when I met you, when it was new to me, I felt as if I had to, and I can say this with all clarity, I had to present myself in a certain way, whether you want to say polished or scripted, like I felt as if I had to present my way like that was that way, in order to be respected for the work that I’ve that I’m doing. And so the messaging hasn’t changed a bit. The same thing you heard me say in that room, I still talk about that stuff. That’s still my same message. Right? But the way that I show up is different. Right? One of my mentors asked me recently, she said, Jesse, I’ve seen a difference in you over the last year or so what’s the difference? And I said, You know what? I’ve taken the tie off. That’s it, huh?

Brandon Handley 11:37
Nice.

Jesse Cole 11:38
Nice. Oh, and you know that and that’s just that the symbolism where, where I felt as if I don’t have to be all buttoned up anymore. If I don’t want to be I still like dressing up.

Brandon Handley 11:46
Look at you look good. dressed up. I don’t know. No reason not to write.

Jesse Cole 11:50
I love it makes me feel good. Sure. But it’s because I want to not because I feel like I have to go to for somebody to respect me or to receive me that. So that’s the biggest prints that I’ve that I’ve had since the first time that you and I met man. And so yeah, what was your question? I think I got I went down a rabbit hole.

Brandon Handley 12:12
I went with you. It’s you know, so you said it right. There’s no separation between your faith and your business. The question is, though, is like, you know, leading with that, and and, you know, what? Was it a challenge for you to step into that space immediately where there’s some fears? You know, let’s talk about that. And how do you kind of got past them? And, and what happened? Right, let’s talk about the journey.

Jesse Cole 12:38
So when I first began, when I first launched, I was trying to sign I was trying to sign up for a networking groups and go into all these networking things. And they were actually, you know, Jessie, what do you do? And I’m like, I’m a CEO of T Mobile coaching to help you grow your faith as you grow your business. Right? proud. I still am proud. Yeah. Crickets, like nobody anything. Because when people hear the word faith, they equate that to religion. Mm hmm. They equate that to, oh, I gotta go to church every Sunday. Right? Right. And maybe how I was showing up, kind of perpetuated that as well. But when I hear faith, I don’t just hear, I don’t hear religion. Like, it took me a while to learn how to help people understand what faith is. So if you are a CEO of a company, it requires faith for you to show up every day to lead your team. Right? If you are a salesperson, and you got to make 80 calls a day, that requires faith because out of those 80 cars, you might get hung up on 7070 times. So what’s what’s keeping you making those calls? What, what what keeps you motivated to make those calls every day? There’s something bigger that you’re thinking of. It requires faith. It requires faith for a father, to raise his children. It requires faith for a mother to stay married like it. Faith is in everything that we do, right? Yeah. And so teaching people that faith doesn’t mean, I got to go to church every Sunday, or I got to pray for 30 minutes a day, or I got to read the whole Bible five times a year. If you do that, that’s fine. Sure. If you feel like that’s what you’d be allowed to do, that’s fine. But that’s not what faith is. Faith comes through relationship. Faith comes through through hearing, being able to hear what God is saying to you. And then not only that, being obedient to what what you hear you know, I’m saying so that’s what that’s that’s how faith works. And so really trying to break down or help reframe what faith looks like to people in their in their different marketplaces like that was my biggest challenge, man. helping people understand that I’m not talking about church. Sure. Talking about relationship.

Brandon Handley 15:03
Where now so where do you feel like you kind of had the big, biggest breakthroughs on some of that, where you realized how you were being received and how to make the transition,

Jesse Cole 15:14
without watering down the message? That’s right. Because Because the message is the message. I don’t feel like I have to chase anybody for business. I don’t feel like I have to adapt to market trends to get business. I believe that if I am just faithful to what God told me to do, if I just prosper where I’m planting, then the right people are going to find the fruit that’s on my tree. You never see an apple knocking on somebody’s door and saying, Hey, I’m apple. No, if you went to Apple, you got to go to the apple tree. Right. And so if you are faithful to what you’ve been put into your, your purpose in your assignment, right, your purpose is why you were created. And your assignment is how you demonstrate that in various environments. So I believe that my purpose in life was to encourage and equip leaders to become the better version of themselves. That’s my purpose. So what is my assignment? is how I do that, as a father, how do I do that for my children? How do I do that with my wife? If you meet me in the grocery store? How can I do that? Then, like that is my assignment, right? How do I demonstrate it? And once you know what that is, you unstoppable. Stop.

Brandon Handley 16:31
So prosper. I’m planning. Nothing better than that. Right? I think that’s fantastic. here’s, here’s a question, though. You know, you hear the messages maybe from God, right? And you want to be obedient to it? How can you be certain like when when do you get to determine that that’s the right message that you’re receiving? That’s in alignment with like, your purpose and stuff, right? Or if it’s just like another squirrel.

Jesse Cole 17:05
A lot of squirrels man, where it was right. And, um, and I fallen guilty to that I’ve fallen prey to that I’m candy. I’m not even gonna lie to you. It doesn’t. It’s not it’s not a perfect journey. But it’s purposeful. I like that. It’s not perfect. It’s not purpose. It’s not perfect, but it’s purpose.

Brandon Handley 17:21
It’s recorded, we got you

Jesse Cole 17:24
had to remind myself that. And so how the purpose of Holy Spirit is to lead to teach, and to lead and guide us into our truth. Right. That’s the purpose of God’s Spirit is to teach us and to lead us into our truth. And so when I hear instructions from God, I believe that is because Holy Spirit is speaking to me. And Holy Spirit is not going to tell me anything that’s opposite of what God wants to happen in my life. Right? So if I’m hearing these instruction, no matter how crazy it may seem, My responsibility is to receive it. And be obedient to demonstrating

Brandon Handley 18:12
give me a crazy one, like what? So what’s a crazy one you’ve been obedient to? Which is like, I don’t even know.

Jesse Cole 18:18
Okay, so I don’t even know. So recently, so I just got done with a six week coaching program that I called Kingdom confidence, right? So typically, when you have a coaching program, you have a framework, you got a marketing campaign, you got to promote it, all this stuff. So let me tell you how this thing came to me. I was in the middle of recording a podcast. And as I’m recording this podcast, Holy Spirit says, when you get done with this, take your phone out and shoot a video and talk about Kingdom confidence. Now I like I know what Kingdom competence is. I was like writing. I have some notes in my journal that pretty much had Kingdom confidence, right? So I had I had an idea of what he was talking about. But I didn’t intend on making it into a coaching program just yet, because it was just still fresh to me. He said, when you get off of this podcast, take your phone out, record a video saying that you’re launching a free six week coaching program called Kingdom confidence. And this is what it’s going to be about. Now, Brandon, I didn’t have any marketing behind it. No graphics. No, nothing. All I had was some notes. Right, right. And a cell phone. That’s right, said okay. I know what I heard. I’m about to do it. Right here. My phone. Oh, hey, I’m launching a six week free coaching program called Kingdom confidence. This was going to be about right. I didn’t have anything set up as far as payment gateway. Well, it was free. So when the payment gateways, I didn’t have a zoom set up to handle leads, and I had none at all I had was the instruction to do right now, after I gave after I posted that video on my social media. I said, You know what, it’d be nice if I had like, 40 people sign up for this thing. Yeah. Right. So by the end of that whole thing, 35 people signed up for it. So we almost hit the go. And every week for six weeks for 90 minutes. 22 people consistently showed up for this coaching program. That’s nice, man. Yeah, right. Yeah. I didn’t know that all I had was notes. Sure. I, but my responsibility was just to be obedient to what I heard, and to, and to provide the environment for God to do what he wanted to do. I was just facilitating the environment, but he already had it worked out.

Brandon Handley 20:51
Yeah. That’s great. I love that. It’s just like, we just like we started off the beginning this conversation, right? God speaking to you, because you got to reach those people. Right? I think it might have been you, too, when we were when we were at that event, talking about like, if you don’t go and do the thing, that God’s kind of speaking through you spirit universe, whatever, right? thing you’re not getting, you’re not getting to that other person that needs you.

Jesse Cole 21:17
Yeah, somebody needs your message. Right? And sometimes we get caught up in trying to do a perfect man. Not me, man. Or we look at what everybody else is doing. And we compare, yeah, asked, but you got to understand that you are your unique being, nobody can do it like you. Nobody can shoot this podcast like you. Nobody can. Nobody can speak like you, I believe that if you put me on the stage with the best speakers in the world, I’m gonna still stand out Why? Because I’m comfortable doing it like I do it. We can be talking about the same message, we can have the same script, but nobody’s gonna do it like Jessica, nobody’s gonna do it, like branded. And it’s not, um, it’s not a conceited or pride. It’s like, no, this is what I’m called to be. There’s somebody in this audience, right? Somebody in the world who needs what I have, they need just what I have to help them get a breakthrough. And if I don’t show up, they wouldn’t get that breakthrough.

Brandon Handley 22:16
100%. Right. 100%, I love to what you’re saying is, is a really how I roll. This is my third podcast now. First one, I did not go and see kind of what everybody else was doing. I did not go check and see what everybody else is into. I knew that. If I did that, a, I go try and copy. So I ended up copying somebody by accident wouldn’t be on purpose. But like, once that stuff gets seated, you got you have no choice, right? You’re like, Oh, that was supposed to be done this way. And same thing with the other two, right? And all the same. And, and just like you’re saying, You You’re resonating, you’re resonating, you’re like a bell man, like I’m like a bell. We’re both like bells, right? But we’re gonna have a totally different sound that one or another person’s gonna know be appealed to. Right. And and, you know, we’re showing up. So we’re showing off so other people can show up, right?

Jesse Cole 23:17
Yeah, I won’t hurt somebody right now that’s listening. That know, you may feel like you don’t have enough or you don’t have enough experience or whatever. Listen, all you have to do is just show up the best way you know how. And over time, the message is going to get clear, your methods are going to be become more quote unquote, polished, but you got to start. You have to you have to get started. No more analysis paralysis, we can look at what everybody else is doing. And we can look at our strategy. But if you don’t take that first step, you never know what that first step is going to feel like

Brandon Handley 23:59
to step out in faith and step out in faith, you got to step out in faith. I mean, you gotta you gotta believe that, you know, just like Jesse, you’re hearing Jesse here, talk about his message. And you know, just following some of these things that don’t make the most sense. But sometimes you just do them without these crazy expectations. And those are the ones that didn’t pan out.

Jesse Cole 24:20
Right? And even even if it doesn’t, quote unquote, pan out, you are obedient. Because you because you learned the lesson. Like there are a lot of things that I stood I stepped out on faith. And it didn’t pan out like I thought it was gonna pan out. But the lessons that I’ve learned in that journey, or in that experience helped me for the next thing, right. So as far as like there’s in the kingdom of God, there’s nothing lost. There’s no there’s nothing lost in the kingdom of God.

Brandon Handley 24:50
Tell me more about that. Like I don’t know, I’ve never heard that before. What’s that mean?

Jesse Cole 24:54
So if if you believe that if you believe that Jesus Christ at the center God if you believe that God is your is your is the father of everything, he’s your Creator, right? he is he is the head over everything right Kingdom means God’s influence in the earth, right? And so in, in God, there’s nothing lost. There’s like no experiences is lost, no question is too dumb No, like no hurt is, is everything is valuable. And the world, you know, we have this canceled culture where we try to devalue people. But when it comes to God, your Creator, right, you’re the person who made you, when it comes to him, there is nothing lost, nothing is too small for him to work with. You know that there’s a scripture says if you have faith, it’s the size of a mustard seed, right? If you know what a mustard seed is, that’s one of the smallest seeds that he got that much faith, you can move mountains, if you got that much belief. You can you can you can speak to a mountain and tell it to be cast into the sea. If you believe in Don’t doubt there’s nothing lost in the kingdom of God, every thing is valuable. There’s a story about Jesus. When he was in a temple, and people were giving offerings, you have people that were rich people giving offerings, but then there’s one lady walked up and all she gave was to mites was like equal to like a penny. So you got these people giving, quote, unquote, millions of dollars in offering. But you’ve got this poor lady coming up giving to small pennies. Right? And Jesus says she gave all she had her name will pretty much ring bells forever.

Brandon Handley 26:45
Wow.

Jesse Cole 26:46
Yeah. You know, I’m saying there’s nothing too small. There’s nothing lost. So if you’re going through some kind of trauma, some kind of abuse, some kind of hardship, and you feel as if God can’t work with that, Oh, yes, he can. I have clients right now that have gone through drug abuse, sexual abuse, molestation, lost kids in their building platforms, from that trauma, there’s nothing loss.

Brandon Handley 27:15
Talk about that, you know, building from that trauma, right? Like you said, Here, everything is valuable. And I recall, you know, telling my story once upon a time, and somebody was asking me, okay, what makes you different from the rest of the groups and all the other people out there doing what you’re doing? And so I got my story. And he goes, everybody’s got a story. I was like, that’s cold. So, basically, you know, so sounds to me, like these people have stories? What do you do with that?

Jesse Cole 27:49
Yeah. So with the kingdom platforms coaching program, what we do is, we help you identify what your story is in your trauma. And we pull the transformational principles from that, from that story. And we help you develop those principles into a book, and empowerment program, and a event, whether it’s a live event or a virtual event. So we’re helping you monetize your story pretty much.

Brandon Handley 28:15
What are some of those transformational principles? Jesse? Yeah.

Jesse Cole 28:18
So this is this is this is this, we talked about faith and craziness. This is crazy, right? And so everybody’s story has different transformational principles. So I can’t say, here’s my framework for transmitting transformational principles. This is how it’s gonna work. Now, I don’t work like that, right, Mike? is being able to hear somebody’s story and fill in the gaps, right? So you can, you can sit here we can, you can tell me your story. And then 10 minutes, we can have eight chapters for your book.

Brandon Handley 28:49
Because that 10 minutes,

Jesse Cole 28:50
that’s my, that’s my gift, is the gift of listening, and being able to fill in the gaps, right? For me. In this coaching program, excuse me, it’s not about graceful accountability. So now that we are partnering in this coaching program, and now that I have your story, right, and when we put these principles out, now, you You’re, you’re accountable to developing these principles. So the whole coaching Pro, the whole coaching process is us developing the lessons in these principles, which become your book, and from that book, your coaching or your empowerment program comes from that your modules, right. And from that, now you can have any event.

Brandon Handley 29:37
Sure. That’s fantastic. That’s awesome. I love I love how you’re, you’re guiding people, right? You’re helping them to see who they truly are, right? Sounds like right, like, hey, that’s great. Here’s your story. But here’s what you really just told me. Right? And then you know, we’re going to pull out of that story. These amazing things that maybe you didn’t see Because you’re too close to the source, right, you’re too close to the source. That’s not you know, those ends up becoming their pillars. They get to build everything on.

Jesse Cole 30:08
Right. Right. And the good thing about a story is, it’s always unfolding, right? So as long as you’re alive, you want to be able to add to that story, because you’re going to be learning new lessons. Sure. never stops. That’s best. Pretty cool. So

Brandon Handley 30:23
do you feel like, you know, after after your clients go through the coaching with you? Now they get to they, they, they understand how to see their own principles. Now, as they develop?

Jesse Cole 30:37
Where do you pay depends on the person, right? Depends on know where they are in life and things like that, my responsibility, my only responsibility is to show you how your story can impact other people impact the lives of others, to help you build a framework around your story, and then monetize that framework. That’s my responsibility, right. And so some of some of that some of the things as far as my clients from the past, and I have right now, again, I told you, I have some people that are going, you know, overcoming certain types of abuse, right. And so the most, the the most transformational part for me as a coach is helping them to walk with them as they relive these, these these traumatic events, right? Because as they’re writing it out, it’s bringing back memories is bringing back hurt is bringing back these emotions, right? And so now they have a safe place to to like, filter through those emotions, and then pull those principles out through through the coaching program and like up, Grant, I love what I do, Brandon.

Brandon Handley 31:46
I know. I know you do. I know you do. That’s why I love I love catching up with you. I love seeing you do your work. And I know that it’s purposeful and meaningful for you. Yeah. And and it shows it shows I mean, talk about so. So again, you know, we met up several years ago, you’re doing you’re doing the mogul, Kingdom mogul. But now you’re also got a show, right? Don’t you have a TV show?

Jesse Cole 32:12
Yeah, so I work with one of the local TV stations here in my city. And so I work part time there. But I also have my own show called Kingdom platforms, right. And a podcast called Kingdom mobile podcast. But the kingdom platform show is going to choose me is going to be relaunched in January. We just got some distribution here in the city in March in the Metro Detroit area for three cable stations and like 144,000 cable subscribers, I want to be able to be able to watch the show, weekly, you know, so pretty much what I’m doing right now with you. I’ll be doing that with other business leaders talking about their platforms and how they are applying faith to their business

Brandon Handley 32:55
plan. Okay. That’s fantastic. And but I think that this is still fantastic that the idea that it came to you would you call this a vision, right? Where did it come to you in a vision? And now you’re just kind of you’re playing that out?

Jesse Cole 33:13
It came to me? I didn’t I didn’t see it until after I received the instructions. Sure. Yeah. It came to me through a prayer walk.

Brandon Handley 33:21
Okay, I was listening.

Jesse Cole 33:22
As I was walking, I wasn’t listening. And after I got it off, then I began to see it through an act of obedience. But here’s the thing, clarity plus obedience equals success. People want clarity all the time. But once you get the instruction, if you’re not obedient to the instruction, you’re not going to be able to receive or get the results that you desire, or that you’re supposed to have clarity, plus obedience. That’s what equals success.

Brandon Handley 33:50
Without when you say obedience, would you liken that to like intuition?

Jesse Cole 33:56
lunches? No,

Brandon Handley 33:58
I helped me out with because I mean, I mean, if I if I, if I get the clarity? Well, I mean, then yeah, it’s not like kind of intuition or, or something like that. What does obedience mean?

Jesse Cole 34:11
Well, in the beginning of our conversation, we were talking about relationship. You have you have two sons, right? That’s right. And so you’re their father, right? You know, you provide for them? Yes, sir. We’re creating an environment where they can thrive. standards and your household

Brandon Handley 34:32
did this, I’d like to believe to

Jesse Cole 34:34
wash the dishes, you know, right. So you give them instructions. They have. They have a choice to be obedient to those instructions or not. And there are consequences for both. Right. And so for us as believers, for those of us who believe that Jesus is the Son of God, and that God is the Father, and the Holy Spirit is our comforter, our teacher God has given us instruction, through Holy Spirit. Once you get that instruction, you have a responsibility to be obedient to do what you hurt. So, when I’m talking about obeyed, I’m talking about do what you hear. So this is not intuition. This is not, um, nothing else outside of being obedient to what you hear. And you can only hear if you are in relationship,

Brandon Handley 35:28
if you already tapped in, don’t just saying yes. So I mean, that’s important, too, because I mean, we can go all the way back to beginning where you’re, you know, I’m trying to where’s the piece that talks about? You? You? You did it all through talent first, right, talent and skill first, but I think that once you get tapped in you develop this relationship. It’s a whole, it’s a whole new relationship.

Jesse Cole 35:52
Different levels? Definitely. I

Brandon Handley 35:53
mean, it, you know, I always talk about it in terms of, you know, in terms of awareness, right, of, you know, becoming more aware of what’s already kind of there, right, you’re like this, is that relationship, Jessie, correct me if I’m wrong, had been available to you your entire life, yes or no? Absolutely. And it wasn’t the problem comes a certain point in your life when you accept that relationship.

Jesse Cole 36:19
Absolutely.

Brandon Handley 36:20
And it’s Once you accept that relationship, that there it’s just like, there’s this powerful merger. And, and you’re You, you, you’re able to kind of gain that clarity that you’re talking about. prosper, where you’re planted. And then like, really, really, you know, take develop that purpose, right. And you’ve got a comfort and walking in faith. Because, you know, this relationship is genuine.

Jesse Cole 36:51
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely, man. So like it. I’ve, I’ve been able, I don’t know, and I’m kind of leery of saying hi, because it’s not about me. But what I’ve been able to experience over time through relationship is that I get more done. When I don’t try to do it myself. I get more done. When I am getting instruction, from God, the Holy Spirit, because he sees that I can’t see the end. He sees the end. And so his instruction is leading me to an intended target. But something I can’t see. Sure, oh, if I’m not obedient, I won’t be able to reap the benefits of that relationship, like like he would want for me to do right. Sure. Now, I’ve learned that I’ve been able to gain more or do more, with less, because I’m in relationship. Before this call, I was on a call with the client, right? We were talking about flow. And I gave her this analogy of an athlete, I played college basketball, so I can break it down this way. There were times where I may have scored 25 points, 12 rebounds, two blocks, two steals. And at the end of the game, somebody might have said, Yes, did you know that these were your stats, I’m like, not even know it. Why? Because I was in flow. I wasn’t I wasn’t like I’m about to score 2522. And two, it just happened. Because I was so tapped in to the flow. And because I was tapped into the flow and not trying to force it, I was able to get those statistics. That’s what happens with relationships. When you are you know, you use the word tapped in when you are obedient. When you are tapped in, you’re able to get more accomplished with less effort. And that wipes out the whole grinding and hustling piece,

Brandon Handley 38:49
which is which is great. Right? Which is great. You said it too early. It’s funny, because I feel like I’m learning that more of myself this past year as well, right? If I step back a little bit, I can allow for the space to be filled up with what I’m looking for, right? Because if I’m standing right here, in in this space, nothing can come into it, right? I can’t receive anything if I’m standing in the way, all that stuff, right? So there’s this, this is kind of a catch 22, though, isn’t adjusted, because if I’m in the flow, and I’m just dealing with things that are right, and they’re coming to me, how can I have a goal? How can I have a plan, right? That’s to me, always kind of confused, still kind of confusing to me, right? Like, I’m like, these are things I would like in my life. But I don’t want to put so much pressure on them that, you know, I’m upset if they don’t show up or I feel like I’m doing all the work, that kind of thing. So you know what, how do you feel about that?

Jesse Cole 39:42
Let me read you something. I’m glad you said that and read you something. Because oftentimes we try to we try to put our plans in front of God’s plans. He’s our Creator. He’s the one who’s given us purpose. Right? And so he knows what’s best. For us not saying that we’re not smart, and that we don’t have education, and no, we have freewill. And we still have that. But his ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. He knows the end from the beginning, right. And so once you once we learn how to relinquish our own self control, and our own agenda, and submit to what he wants to do, then our desires become his desires. Because he knows what’s best for us. Right? Let me read this to you, Thomas, Matthew 11, verse 28, through 30. And this is when Jesus was talking about flow, talked about flow. Jesus says, Are you tired, worn out, burned out on religion? Come to me, get away with me, and you will recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me. Watch how I do it. Like this. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. keep company with me. And you will learn how to live freely and lightly. I love that.

Brandon Handley 41:21
Yeah. How can you not

Jesse Cole 41:22
like that right there? And this is Jesus, the Son of God talking to his disciples, right? who are who are businessman fishermen and tax collectors in Oh, they were they were in the marketplace.

Brandon Handley 41:36
They were grinding it out. Right?

Jesse Cole 41:37
People who are used to again, yeah, grinding it out. But he’s telling them listen, Take my yoke upon you, like learn from me. I want to show you how to live a life that’s free and light and unforced. Right? I don’t know stuff, anybody listening right now. But up until this point, I can tell you that there are some times in my life where my grind and my hustle made life hard, right? About to be 42 years old and minute. And I live in a life and free life. And Jesus says that when we follow Him, when we do it the way that he does it, that how life was intended to do it to be to be lived, then we can experience that. And then our desires No longer are our own desires. Our desires, and God’s desires began to mesh there’s a thread of connectivity between them both right, then we can have even more than we’ve ever expected. And here’s, here’s the issue though. Humans don’t like to let go of control. Hmm. We love to have control. We’ve been taught, especially those of us who are leaders, you got to be in control. You got to have the authority. Right? God is saying, I’m the authority. Let me show you how to live this life. Follow me. Right.

Brandon Handley 42:59
Yeah. I think that’s fantastic. Because I don’t know how to create life. But here I am. And I’m alive. Right? So some pretty powerful stuff. I can’t even tell you how I got here, Jesse. Right. I can’t tell you how my food digests and their science and stuff. But do they really know? You? Don’t I mean, so, like, I’ll eat some food and it gets converted to life. Right? That’s not me doing that. That’s, that’s a, that’s a grand design that was like, sent here implemented, and it’s happening. So I gotta trust. I gotta trust in something much greater than myself that it has made that happen. Right? I know. I know. You call it God. For some reason, I’ve got a mental block on that. So I gotta call it like the universe. I gotta call it a couple of other things. But we’re saying the same thing.

Jesse Cole 43:50
I want to ask you that question. I hear that a lot. And I’m asking you not to judge. This is like, free zone. Why do you think people replace God? With the universe?

Brandon Handley 44:04
Hmm. Well, you know, for me, it’s just kind of a it’s really similar to you, right? Like, when you when you went to and he told people to kind of step into faith or you know, you know, I connect you with your faith and you look the way you did, you’re presenting a message they’re like, I’m not gonna see you. It’s a big sale, Jesse. Right? Like, that’s just like that. They’re not having it. Right. So real similar thing. It’s like a fine line with this. This it’s because it’s been institutionalized. Right, this word, the word has been, it’s been and, and, and the meaning and the truth of it. of God. Right. And and what it’s attached to it. Road is bent, corroded, it’s been it’s just, you know, it just hasn’t. And so now, you know that so now it’s like, Okay, let me try it. Let me try this other thing out. It means exactly. The same thing, right? It’s it serves exactly the same purpose. But this way I can disassociate myself from these institutions. Right? Because then I think that that, that that’s probably about it for me.

Jesse Cole 45:12
I get it. Um, here’s here’s, here’s my thought on that just because something has been marketed wrong doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.

Brandon Handley 45:23
But I don’t disagree. Like I said it’s just a mental block is history it’s straight mental

Jesse Cole 45:28
issues and just in not and again, this is you know, judgment free zone this this for those of us who are those of you who are listening right now, I agree with you, man, like God has been Miss marketing people have been Miss educated on who he is being we. And I know because I grew up in a in a in a house full of ministers, right. And so we we look at God as this one. No, I did in the beginning, especially as a kid, this big old monster in heaven, waiting to pounce on me when I did something wrong. That’s right. Oh, I saw God as a kid. And my friend, that’s

Brandon Handley 46:03
not my friend.

Jesse Cole 46:04
Yeah. That was so I was I was so afraid to go to sleep. Because I knew I did something wrong. And what if I don’t wake up? What if God destroys me in my sleep? Right? And so I was taught that whether it was indirect, I was indirectly taught the fire and brimstone and that God is he’s waiting on you to do something wrong. Right. And until I became older, and I began to seek him out for myself, that I began to see how God is a good father, like he wants good stuff, right? Like, he loves me. He wants to hug me and kiss me and tell me all that good stuff. He wants me to do well, and till I discovered that, that I was able to embrace where I am right now. So yes, you’re right. God has been institutionalized. He’s been given a

Brandon Handley 46:58
unset. I think the deal the deal is really, is if it’s forced on you, you don’t want it right. And Christianity is something that, you know, more often than not, people feel like it’s forced on them. Right now, if you come to me, we have a conversation like you and I are having now I want to come to your house of prayer, I want to come hang out, I want to see what’s going on there. Because I can feel the life coming through you. Right? I’m like, Yeah, let’s go through the same thing. We’re walking with the same person, we’re walking with the same, you know, same life force, right. So it’s when you do what you said, when you start to seek it when you start to, you know, what’s, what’s the line? Right, you know, and all you’re seeking seek understanding. Yeah, right. And all you’re seeking and seek understanding and, and that’s when you begin to see that what’s in that book, those stories, those lessons and all that’s in there. It’s all real, real good stuff. Right. That may have been misrepresented. Right. Or and again, you didn’t have the level of understanding that was necessary. Don’t wait, no, no, no pearls before swine, right? So you don’t have you? You couldn’t you couldn’t understand that stuff. Because even it was right. Funny, right? It was right for your entire life. Like we talked about earlier, this relationship was open to you for your entire life. Right? And you didn’t take it on until you are ready for it. You’re like, you know what? Not right now. I’m not ready. This it just wasn’t your time.

Jesse Cole 48:26
It for me, for me, it wasn’t like not right now. I was not ready. And it was I didn’t know any better. But like a certain a certain message was being put in front of me for so long. That when I finally got up got out of the environment that was perpetuating that message. That’s when I’m, that’s when I figured out that it was more to this than what I was what I had learned. Sure. And I call it I call it the church that killed me. Right? Because for all these years, that was at a time I went to college. I didn’t know that this was available. Right? Because of the institutionalization because of the big monster God that I was. I didn’t know this was I didn’t know that. I could just walk with him and talk with him. Hmm, I didn’t know that. He loved me as much as he does. I didn’t even know that I had this thing called purpose and assignment in my life. I didn’t know that until I got out of the environment that was perpetuating that once I got out of that environment, I began to search like willingly and actively figure this out for okay guy, like who are you for real 100 that

Brandon Handley 49:37
what prompted that for you, Jesse.

Jesse Cole 49:40
Um, when I when I when I set foot on a college campus, down in southwest Virginia. And it was a it was a liberal arts Christian college. And I saw how people were responding to God and it was different than what I was used to Right. And it looks genuine. Right? Well genuine. And I’m like, I wonder what that looks like for me? Sure. I don’t want to do it the way that so and so and so did like, what does that relationship look like to me? right for me? And went on got on a journey. And man, I’m still discovering man, I’m still discovering this thing, right. And I’m excited that God continues to reveal Himself to me to relationship. But yeah, that’s when it started, man. So I began to go to different churches, I grew up in one denomination. When I went off to college, I began to go to visit different denominations to sit like even some places where you might have might consider a cult like I’ve visited everywhere. I didn’t join, but I’ve visited everywhere. And my purpose was my purpose for visiting was to see what made us the same. And what made us different. Sure. Right. And what made us different is how we worship God, the manner in which you worship God. Right? It wasn’t a heaven or hell thing. It was like, okay, they do it this way. They do it this way. But what made us the same was that we all loved God. All right, that was a thread of connectivity that I began to hold on to, that I’m still holding on to this day, like, that’s what makes us to say, we’re all God’s children, and he wants to have relationship with us. That’s what I hold on to. That’s, that’s cool.

Brandon Handley 51:29
I think it’s pretty interesting to how, you know, you grew up in a house of ministers, but you weren’t able to establish that relationship. until after you left. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 51:39
Yeah, it was, I

Brandon Handley 51:41
mean, what’s that

Jesse Cole 51:43
all about doing? About being sure as a kid was about? We call them the acts of service? Right? But doing it would go into church and doing this and doing ministry? And do you know, I’m saying, like really performing, versus just being who we called you to be? I wasn’t taught that. I know,

Brandon Handley 52:06
that’s important to you know, how being who you were called to be? How do you feel like you discern that?

Jesse Cole 52:14
I feel as if I’ve always known that as a kid. Like, when I look back on it now, different memories come to come to mind where I felt as if I was, I was always walking in purpose without knowing that I was walking in purpose.

Brandon Handley 52:30
Just like the Steve Jobs line, right? You can’t you can’t you can’t connect the dots call forward. But you can act on going backwards, right?

Jesse Cole 52:36
I remember sitting in church business meetings as a kid, like 910 11 years old, and having discernment. And knowing who was a snake and who wasn’t. I knew this as a kid, right? I remember connecting with people and being able to see people’s lives without them even telling me anything. As a kid, I didn’t know what it was, I just knew I was different. I didn’t know how to demonstrate that in real life. It’s just something on the inside.

Brandon Handley 53:06
That’s that’s pretty cool. That ties in I just listened to your talent story a little bit earlier, from the vault on your podcast, right? So I mean, kind of like you had these talents. Initially, you kind of hit him, because you didn’t know how to use them. Yeah, right, I think is kind of another way to take a look at this whole thing. And now that you’ve discovered what your talents and gifts are, you’re cultivating them, you’re sharing them, and you’re using them to help shine a light on other people so they can shine their own lights on others that type of things that I’ll sum it up.

Jesse Cole 53:42
Pretty much. Yeah. Just being obedient to my assignment and my purpose. And through that, all the other stuff you just mentioned, that happens.

Brandon Handley 53:53
So Kingdom mobile coaching Comm. That’s where you can kind of hang out with Jesse Jesse, what’s what’s like, an initial session with you look like?

Jesse Cole 54:03
Yeah, so we have. So Kingdom platforms is this. We do a one hour discovery call. And that discovery call is just to see where you are. See what your vision is to see if we can help you. And if we indeed can help you, then you move on to the six month program where we help you uncover your story. Write your book, develop your empowerment program, develop your event, so begin to monetize your message. So that’s it’s really that simple. You get on get on the calendar. You know, we we talked for hour. I see where you are. We see if we see if it fits. If it fits, we move forward.

Brandon Handley 54:46
That’s great. That’s great. Jesse, I’m so I’m so proud of you, man. I mean, you know, I love I love what you’ve brought into this world. I love that you’re walking in your purpose, right? And I just love that you’re doing what you’re doing and you You do it. You do it with grace. Thank you. You do it. We really do. So one more time. Where can people go and find you Jesse?

Jesse Cole 55:09
Yeah, so Kingdom mogul coaching.com. That’s Kingdom like the word Kingdom mogul mo GUL coaching.com. So that’s the website. You can go learn more about the story and get on the calendar. But you can also follow us on social media. So Instagram is coach Jesse Cole. And Facebook is coach Jesse Cole. And I’m just coming off from a 30 day sabbatical. So I’m just about getting back into social media. Welcome back, Jesse.

Unknown Speaker 55:39
You, man.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Brandon Handley 0:00
Chapter Chapter five, you can change the universe we’re going through, are you ready to succeed by sukumar Rao, if you are digging some of this material, I will let you know that there is a course that he offers called creating personal mastery, it’s available online, I’ll go ahead and include a link to it. Let me know if you’re trying to get into there. And if you want more information, I can tell you that I am I have applied myself and will be taking it later this year. And I encourage you to check it out. One of the reasons I signed up is because this to me, Sreekumar Rao is a master, right? There’s very few that I know of, that we have access to that can teach this material the way that he does, and makes it and turns it into practical application, something that you can use every day everywhere in every way. So not a paid endorsement. But I do want you to know that it’s something that resonates with me, obviously, I mean, that’s why I’m digging so deeply into this material so that it’s something that sticks to me, something becomes a part of me. And if it is, again, if it’s something that is of interest to you. Go ahead, check it out. I’ll leave a link to that one as well. Look, I’m making another note CPN wasn’t even planned. Link on part three. And let’s head into, you can influence the universe and create miracles. This is a this is a chapter that I shared with a friend of mine. A couple years back now while I was on the plane out to Denver, and we were having miracle conversations, I think that I was going through a course in miracles. And I was heavily influenced by a Course of Miracles. I was heavily influenced by Abraham Hicks, neville goddard, I was deep into that material. And I was seeing Listen, personally, I was seeing all kinds of miracles happening in my life. So again, I’ve got it right here. He’s not this is this is like a sub chapter within the chapters. I think that this is the gooey goodness part of the best, one of the best pieces of the book, as far as I’m concerned. So right now most of us, you are probably so convinced that you are separate from the universe. And you spent most of your life pointing to your powerlessness that there’s no

there’s no way. There’s no way that you will you can create miracles. Right? No way. The thing is that you need to look for look for the connection, right? Create the conduct your direct creator, a guaranteed right. What would you like to create in your life?

Unknown Speaker 3:05
What would you like?

Brandon Handley 3:08
What would you like to create? Right? You need to have the firm conviction that the universe has intervened for you on your behalf if you have not listened to. Here’s another note for myself to make. If you have not listened to Alan Watts, trust the universe is another lecture. Go listen to that. I’ll put that I’ll put that in the podcast notes as well.

Unknown Speaker 3:30
You need to

Brandon Handley 3:31
learn how to trust the universe as another as if it were another and you have to begin to believe in some way shape or another that this is a benevolent universe. How have you gotten to where you gotten to today? Again, if you are listening to this podcast, there’s a good chance you’re better off than when you know your news. Random percentages at least 80% of the world. All right. Mute, clean running water. Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food in your fridge? Do universe man I mean? What are the odds at first of all, it’s one in 400. Like what trillion that you’re born? That’s that’s just the beginning of it. But now you’re on a country with are we seven eight I don’t know how many billions that we’re at. You are one of the lucky ones that has clean running water. You are one of the lucky ones that has electricity a switch you can flip on even even if you were listening to this in a shelter, you are in a shelter with clean running water with electricity with a warm running bed with soup food. This is a benevolent universe, okay? So, you know, look, you need to create that connection for yourself. And, and initially that may not be easy, especially if you’ve got some filters, you know, set up you’ve got you’ve got some kind of filters and walls and you can’t see it that way. That’s okay too. But But again, realize, at this point as we’ve gone through this chapter, that is your choice you choose, you make that choice. Okay? So he uses the idea of parking spot, right? Maybe you’re trying to find a parking spot, and all of a sudden you got lucky, you found a parking spot, right where you wanted to find it. And what a coincidence, I wanted a parking spot, just like that. And there it was. But you would consider that a coincidence. The other idea is like, Oh, well, what about when you learn to play tennis, you know, you’ve got your forehand, backhand. And, and at some point in time, like you’re, when you’re learning to play, it’s hard, right? It’s a challenge. It’s when you go all the times when you put in the practice is when you put in the effort, it’s when you have someone working along with you, that can teach you as well. And at some point, it clicks. And then you say to yourself, Well, that’s because I put the work hands because I put the effort in is because I learned how to play tennis with someone who knew how to play tennis, I had all the lessons, and it just works. And now I’m a great fucking tennis player. Right. The other example that I would use, you know, in this is just for my son, right now he’s going from, you know, playing on a tablet, to try to use a computer, right, and the controls are eminently different. The same time, you know, he’s going to have to learn it one point, if he wants to, you know, advance with the computer, how to knock it all out. And he’ll sit there and say, Well, you know, I’ve been, you know, for years on the mobile, and it’s gonna take me forever to do the computer. However, again, little bites built up over time. And at some point, when you look back, you will realize that you were always capable. And it wasn’t until you begin to take serious efforts and move towards that what you know, you’re capable of that it begins to click. So it goes, Hey, understand which one of these models will serve you best, right? If you want to consider everything a coincidence. And and in practically random with zeros system with the zero way to, to kind of recreate that, at how’s that going to serve you? How will that methodology and mental model serve you? Right? He says the second model where we know you’re learning how to play tennis until it all clicks, this is the one this is the one this transformative, right? This is the one that’s powerful, capable of delivering results. You don’t have to take my word for it. You don’t have to take his word for it. Here’s what you got to do is try it. The cost to you? minimal, you don’t need to share this with anybody. I love this too. I think Let me see if it gets in. If it gets into it yet. Hold on. We’ll get to it. Right? We’ll get to it. So you know, how do you do it? Right? How do you do it? How do you do it? How

do you do it? How do you do it? And that’s when you think of a friend when you think of a phrase, you know, sometimes you send out like these mental signals and you do with a light touch of emotion. And you just kind of say, Hey, you know, the universe is going to let that happen for me. Deal is it’s like you don’t recognize you don’t consider these miracles. You consider them again, you consider them like, you know, why would it What a coincidence, I was just, I was just thinking of you Mike, what a coincidence, I was just thinking he Tom. Or maybe when you see a phrase or you’ve got a favorite song. And that song shows up in the next show that you watch or you know, you hop in the car and you listen to the radio because you still have one and your favorite song comes on. I can’t believe I was just singing that song. I’ll give you an example to my house. My current house it’s very you know, I would go to sleep at night and I would visualize this this really interesting shaped house like almost like a U shaped house with Windows on each side. So you can see the people walking on either side and like wave to them and it was in this kind of perfect wood setting. And it was it was peaceful and remote. And guys, ladies gals it happened right and the thing is, I didn’t have like a bunch of emotional energy tied up into it. I had this kind of this thought this idea and I let it go. Right. But I had it repeatedly. I had it often. But I didn’t in didn’t put this. Too much pressure onto it or too much energy into it as though it had to happen. It’d be nice I didn’t you know, I didn’t have this grand expectation that it had to happen. So, um, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo money, right? money too. These are just a couple more examples. Last year here before I did really powerful exercise where I was just doing a budgetary exercise. And I not something that I’m super big on doing, but the exercise was to write down, you know, kind of all your debt, how much you make, and how much would you like to make yada, yada, and then add on 15% get real clear on kind of what you want to use it for what your intentions are, and all this other stuff. A year later, I had like almost the exact amount. So and and, and when I tell you like it was it was more than I expected. It was more. I didn’t, you know, I couldn’t think of it as real, right? Because I couldn’t, I couldn’t have thought about that going forward. Now looking back, I can see this as a miracle, right? I can write down this as a miracle. And that’s exactly what it says. To do here. Pay careful attention to such happenings explicitly. Recognize, acknowledge and break them down. list what happened the date the time, permit yourself to feel elated and write them down, write down the feeling as well. You know, that’s that dude. Somewhere It really is. It’s crazy how it will happen. And then mentally play with the idea that these are not coincidences. Albert Einstein, either everything’s a miracle or nothing is a miracle. Okay. And then work through this. As I said, trust the universe as though or another so noted as the universe trying to make itself known to you assist the Universe by saying, hey, universe,

Unknown Speaker 11:55
I see you.

Brandon Handley 11:56
I see you given me all this, and I thank you. Right, give thanks. Believe what is the line that I’ve been shouting recently is believe receive and gift thanks, grateful. You let it go and give something to somebody else. I mean, that’s a, we’re getting into the next chapter already, I get myself anyways. So assisted by showing some attention, create miracles with the expectation that they will happen at least 50 times a day. This is I need to do more work on this. This is why I’m not rushing through this book. Because I need to pay attention to the lessons I need to motivate myself inspire myself to do these more myself, what’s this game, why I’m going through this, this is not just to share it with you, so that I pay close attention to details of what I know will make me successful and, and take action on some of these things, right? So listen, there will be flubs, there will be there’s no out of those 50 I don’t know how many you’re gonna get,

Unknown Speaker 13:04
I don’t have any, I

Brandon Handley 13:04
don’t know what your belief system is, right? I don’t know how many filters you’ve got set up, I don’t know how clogged up your drains are to let some of this shit in. And that’s gonna, you know, that’s gonna, that’s gonna impact a lot, it’s going to impact a lot of what happens there. So the deal is, there are going to be some don’t come come through, right? There are going to be some that do. Focus on those wins, jot them down, write them down, say, Whoa, feel elated. Let it happen. And initially, you know, this, this is going to change, this is going to change your way of thinking. And you’re going to be excited, and you’re going to call it out. But over time, over time, this is going to just become a part of your daily, it’s gonna become part of your daily, you’re going to begin to accept that the universe does work in this manner that you do need to close the universe as though it were another just get into it, man, give it a shot. As you as you kind of begin to accept it for yourself, you’re going to notice that the number of events that you consider miracles are going to increase. This is when you need to, you know, take this as a signal to start making bigger and more important things to happen. Our belief systems have so many walls up and filters in the way for this that even even if you see the small ones happening, it’s challenged to start making this larger leap. I’m only telling you because that’s been true for me. And I need to take this to heart myself and and start making bigger and more important things happen and allowing for the universe. Right? And I don’t think that there’s any better time then than right now especially as we we head into the Age of Aquarius. Look, I’m not like this astrological. All these things but let’s use some of these things as symbols and like when they show up in your life as parts of miracles and all the other stuff, of all the times of all the things of everything happening in the universe right now. We’re living in a pretty crazy awesome time, right Frank and junction moved into the Age of Aquarius, when 400 trillion. Listen, the start to use some of our galaxy billions of galaxies, right? Just imagine that some of these forces are taking place in your life right now how can you apply them as though this were some type of mental kung fu and you’re going to use the, you’re going to use the the great momentum of the universe to to your own benefit. And so at some point, though, this becomes commonplace and simply a way of life. I have this one thing with my with Meg, who’s got her Etsy shop up and running. And sometimes, so no, say hey, well, I didn’t make that much money this week, or you’re just talking about the the amount of money that you’re making, as large or small, then you know what, take away these labels, and just realize that it’s a happening, it is happening. That is, it’s not it’s not a large or small thing happening. It’s happening, period. And it is a miracle. If that’s how you want to see it. We’re gonna pause on this one, and then we’re gonna jump into who, let’s let’s, I don’t know how many, how much longer it’s gonna take. But like I said, I think this is a really powerful chapter, one of the most powerful chapters in my mind. And one of the ones that if you’re not going to apply any of the other ones, apply this 100%

Welcome back spiritual dope. We are headed through what are we headed through, we’re headed through, are you ready to succeed, you can change the universe, we just got done finishing up with how to create miracles in your life. And right now we’re going to go through a couple of the helpful hints, a couple of helpful hints and of creating miracles. First of all, do not share this process with others. And the reason is, is they will share their skepticisms and bring you down if you’re not familiar with the story of the kui crab.

Or the crabs in a bucket story is the idea that as the crabs are trying to leave the buckets, the crabs beneath it will reach up and pull it back down right almost as to say, Hey, don’t go out past that room. We don’t know what’s out there can’t be safe, you better stay here in this bucket with us. When you try to share this miracle mindedness stuff with others, they will poopoo you and they will you know, wet blanket, Debbie Downer all that shit. So here’s the deal. Do it silently. And allow for your own fate to develop a lot. See this stuff for yourself. Start with something small. Write start with small stuff. And the reason I say start with small stuff is because it’ll be easier for you to see it happen with small stuff than it will with the large stuff right here. You just trust me on that one. Right? And allow for your own faith to develop allow for yourself to build that muscle of miracle, you know, miracle creative muscles. And it may take longer for some than others. And that’s okay, stick with it. You know, if you if you’ve made it this far, and you’d be gone at all. Here’s the thing is, if you’ve done it at all, if you’ve done it once, if you’ve done it twice, if you did just one day of it, then you probably saw a result. All right. And you can’t go back after that. You can’t go back after that. So you can produce miracles. You can engineer coincidences. There’s the the the idea even in the beginning of the book is like you can make these serendipitous moments happen. He shares a story in the book I’m not gonna I’m gonna go ahead and go pass it. I’m trying I’m trying to think of some of my own. The house was one right The house was one my job so the work that I’ve ever gotten in my life evolved been in by some shape or form a miracle. The job that I currently have right now is is something that I did not consciously create, but I did consciously create so how does it how does how does that look? So right now I work at a technology company, a service provider company that you can we have over, we have hundreds, almost like, you know, 1000s of OEMs. And, and some of them are huge right now, if you look at Microsoft, Amazon, and then you look at the industry that I get to play in, it’s with gaming media and all this other stuff. And the thing is, these are all things that like I looked up to and love as I was growing up, and now I find myself smack dab in the middle of being able to help these people create the things that I loved, right? So I get to participate in gaming at Activision Blizzard conversations with them. Me and Microsoft, it’s just crazy. Right? So how does that happen? To guy that, you know, never finished college.

Unknown Speaker 20:55
Right?

Brandon Handley 20:56
How do I end up in this place in space, it’s not something that I kind of created by way of miracle, right. And if I, even if I go back, and I look at it, I did create it consciously at some point where I said, hey, yeah, that’s the job. I would like, I’m not going to shove and push and, you know, all this force and energy into it, this is what I like. And it did come to me by by way more of of allowance. And buy, don’t believe receive and give thanks. It showed up right when I needed it. Right when I you know, pandemic hate. This job showed up and in a way that I needed it more than anything else. And that’s not a miracle. I don’t know what is right. So I’m willing to look at it that way. And I’m willing to go back and look at it my

Unknown Speaker 21:57
own.

Brandon Handley 22:03
My own my part in the process, right? How did I How did I take part in this? And I did not do it by myself. I did it with the help of the universe, I could have done it by myself, how does somebody do anything by themselves? They don’t? Again, it’s when they think that they are the ones doing it all by themselves that I think that there’s a large there’s a restriction of flow of restriction on the flow of what is possible for you, especially if you feel like you’ve got to do it all by yourself. How much can do by yourself? versus how much can you do with the assistance of the universe? Who’s on your side at all times? All right. riddle me that Batman so so here, listen, to change, to change your universe, discard the model of frantic doing this is also awesome one. Honestly, this is another one that you let go of the frantic doing when you practice a little bit of surrender when you when you take on the ownership of I’m not doing this by myself, I’m doing this with the universe. Because this sigh of relief, right sigh of relief, a little bit of calm wash this whole view and a little bit of allowing the power, the energy that creates worlds right connection to source to flow through you and towards that what you truly desire. That’s a fabulous feeling. So the current model of life for most is the harder I work, the luckier I get. Now listen, I believe I believe in preparation, and believe in pre paving. I believe in creating a vision, I believe in establishing a goal I believe in walking towards it, right. That’s all part of visualization. That’s all part of having faith in yourself. I mean, it’s no different. But the you know, to put a huge emotional focus and energy into a specific way of how it has to happen that is by your own plan and by your own design. Leave you leave a lot to be desired in that on this and so the harder I work the luckier I get this is like in relationships, you know, how many times have you struggled to get into relationship and in the end of that relationship, you got the girl you want and you live in the house that you want to live in, in the neighborhood that you want to be in at all fuckin sucks. And you end up like you’re on a hamster wheel and, and you’re like, you’re like, well, this is this. I’ve been around people like this. Right? This is just how life is this is the reality of life. This is everybody goes through this. This is that. It’s no different for everybody else. Everybody does this.

Unknown Speaker 24:58
That’s not

Brandon Handley 24:59
fucking True. That’s not true. It can’t be true. Right? This is a reality, this is not the reality. And you get to choose which model of reality you are going to work with. So when you change, so does the universe. The the alternate to frantic doing is calm being, Bob Proctor has a line for this one. Yeah, he goes, I don’t need to slow down, I need to calm down. And this, this brings to mind, the idea of when you excite when you are excited, and molecules are excited, there is a there’s a frenzy that’s built, there’s just bounce around every which way in every direction. Or that and then there’s, you know, calmness, a surety of confidence that happens by repeated practice over time, right? That’s when you go and you do the things you know, you wrestle with your kids, and you know that it’s calm, and it’s easy, you’re not not you’re not expending too much energy. You write your name, you do the things that you do every day, there’s a calmness that you do within, right, and you can find that same calmness in everything. It’s just a matter of again, you know, something happens, something pops up, you don’t overreact to it, you step back, you take a breath, you realize, hey, what’s happening here in this moment, right? Use the witness, leverage the witness, as you begin to Nugent leverage to leverage the mental chatter, all the stuff. So and you’ll begin to understand that each time as you’re changing your mental models, as you go forward, you are becoming different person. And the interesting thing is that the universe has no choice. This is a his his words. industry, the universe has no choice but to change in accordance with the person that you will become. If you haven’t heard that from Bob Proctor. If you haven’t heard that from Abraham Hicks, if you haven’t heard that, from the Bible, Buddha, I don’t know every you know, the people that have made it. Throughout the millennia. Elan musk even has most recently a line, you know, of, you know, every person’s got a level of understanding that at some point, when you get to that level of understanding, and you begin to see this happen for yourself. It’s pretty intense, right? So many cases, as men, he says it’s more efficient to do the internal work, meaning again, just like I said, there, do some of this to sort of voices judgment, clear outside mental clutter, lovers, lovers, the lovers to witness and all that type of internal work, do the gratitude and, and you’re gonna feel like a different person, you are going to project or you see a mirror of who you become on the external, that doesn’t mean that they’re still not the external stuff that needs to get done. I still have to reply to emails, I still have to record this podcast, I still need to send it out, I still need to, you know, do all the external stuff, show love, eat all these things, right? You still need to do those things. Just much less than you thought sometimes it’s great to let go of some of the timelines and the ways that you think things have to happen and allow for them to happen. And sometimes they happen in ways that are much more to just cooler, right? They’re very, they’re much cooler, they’re much more spontaneous. There. They are miracle stories, you could tell them here like wow, that happened in a way that I never could have written about right? I never could have forecasted. But it does, right. He says the example he uses of kind of searching for a job. And when you become clear on what it is that you want, the universe will show itself to you with ease, meaning the path will open up for you and it becomes quicker and instead of it. It’s kind of like take the idea of a walk in sand dunes in the Sahara right walking up sand is is a pain. Yes. And takes a lot of energy. you exert yourself and it’s just hot and annoying and sand everywhere. Nope, nope. no bueno.

Versus getting hot to lose track right? It becomes so fast and accelerate even think about the Hyperloop right? You just you just get sucked in and pulled in along the way and it’s so crazy because you’re not you’re not Pushing anymore you’re being pulled

out, I’m just thinking about it because it’s so true, like methley is so true. And there’s just there’s this way that that happens. And with ease doesn’t mean that it’s easy, right? It does mean that it is with ease. And there’s this, there’s this wonderful sensation that happens when you’re doing it. So practice over time. So it says here, largest, largest stumbling block, I mean, flip over to the page. It’s a, one of the largest stumbling blocks is

Unknown Speaker 30:44
to do to do

Brandon Handley 30:48
that, I mean, look, the largest on the block to me, I can’t find it right here is that we? We, we don’t believe yet, right? The largest stumbling block is that we don’t believe. And, of course, if we don’t believe we can’t perceive what’s happening in front of us. And you will believe that all this stuff is happening when you start seeing it in front of you. I’m sorry, I lost track there, guys. So as we kind of, you know, there’s gonna be the frantic, you’re not gonna be able to stop the frantic doing right away, right? So you’ll keep doing that. But at the same time, start doing some of these smaller things where you do allow for the universe to step in, and you allow for universe to participate with you. Right? It is and it is allowing you’re not it’s it’s funny, because you’re not the center of the universe is allowing you to do something as you are allowing the universe to work with you. It’s like I Oh, come on in. Right, like can’t Yeah, vampires can’t come into your house unless you invite them in. Same thing with universe you can’t come in and can’t work with you in a way that is in tandem, right in a way that is beneficial to both unless you to agree to work with each other. Right? And if you’re if you’re a fan of like, all that stuff, right? You most likely sign some type of soul contract somewhere with the universally hey, here’s how this is gonna go now. And universe is gonna show up, knock on the door and like, go away. I’m busy. I got the chicken under control. And the thing is, you don’t right. You’re frantic. You’re going crazy with it. And you’re like, at some point, you have this breakdown this meltdown, you’re like, this is fucking bullshit. Life sucks. And you’re like, I could really use some hope. And you let the universe like knocks again, you’re like, go away, I don’t believe you. And then one day, you’re just like, fine. Okay, come on in. Let’s go. Right? I’m gonna go back to the idea of, you’ve got beliefs so deep right now that this is impossible for you. Most likely, right? that these aren’t interference on the reception to and from the universe. Work on your reception, right? work on allowing, you know, allow it allowance could be something just as simple as somebody gives you a compliment. Work on that. Because if you don’t accept compliments, if you don’t accept gifts, if you don’t accept just a simple Thank you with grace and ease, how are you going to accept the infinite power of the universe to flow through you as again? You agreed to do with it when you came in, right, that’s probably on the back of some universal bar napkin that has you know, tear stains and and shenanigans on the back of it. Like oh, man, I love you, man. Let’s

Unknown Speaker 33:42
go to sleep tonight. And

Brandon Handley 33:43
you wake up next day you’re on planet Earth, you know what the fuck does happen? anywho. So let’s say keep track of your successes. Ignore the failures. Keep doing what works. I mean, this is another one that I got from Bob Proctor as well. You know, stop doing the shit. That doesn’t work. Right? That didn’t work. Stop doing it. That did work. Wow, that works. Keep doing more of that. Right? That works with children that works with your job that works everywhere. On a run right to the end here. You know, a note of caution. Once you head down this direction, you can’t go back. There’s no going back. It’s like the fucking matrix. Man. It’s like the red pill blue pill. You can’t unknow this. You can’t undo this. Once you create and accept miracles in your life. Once you see your life as America once you see that everything is a miracle. You’re in man, you’re injured. You’re part of the you’re part of the circle of trust. Right? You will be teamed up with the universe Do you need Who else do you need with you at that point? Right. And you may think this is shenanigans you may think and slop jokes you may believe this can’t be possible for you. real question is what do you have to lose? I can think of a couple things you might be able to lose, you might be able to lose 10 minutes of a crappy show that you watch on TV, you might lose 10 minutes of the news, you might lose 10 minutes of sleep, if you went to go to 10 minutes a day, right is all that it is all it takes to create a miracle. And if you’re not willing to create miracles, or see them show up in your life, for the absolute cost of 10 minutes of your life a day. Again, your choice, no problem, no skin off my back. I’m just here to present some information. And I’m here to do it as objectively as I can. But also, I’ve had these experiences myself. So what do you have to lose? Try it out. Keep with it, you absolutely will find yourself in a whole new world. And, you know, even he’s even even Dr. Houses in his book, because it’s not here to make, you know, shove this on you. Where’s, where’s it, I get to the back of the book, no to caution, did it.

Unknown Speaker 36:09
Just look,

Brandon Handley 36:12
because I have seen innumerable people discover this from sales, I cannot provide you with persistence that you’ll have to supply from within yourself. He says, trust me when I say it’ll be well worth it. You’ve got supply around persistence, right? You’ve got to you know, you’ve got to be the one that is able to supply your own belief. You’ve got to be the one that identifies and labels it as such, again, those are yours to create. And this is your reality, right? This is a reality, not the reality, your model. How can you put this to work for you? And, you know, where’s the last line here, one second here, I’ll pause it for a second while I go look for it with there it is when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, ah, how many times I hear that before implementing some of the stuff into my own life, tons of times. And every time it got that same noise out of me. So try it for yourself and see if it doesn’t happen for yourself. Again, the worst thing that can happen is that maybe it doesn’t work out for you. And you chalk it up to bullshit and shenanigans or you begin. I hate to say you begin because you always have created miracles. But now you begin to notice that you are the one who’s influencing the universe. You begin to see exactly how powerfully you are able to show up when you allow yourself to show up. And that’s going to wrap us up

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


A couple of links were promised on this one:

random love and kindness meditation : https://www.mindful.org/this-loving-kindness-meditation-is-a-radical-act-of-love/

Brandon Handley 0:00
Welcome back spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here voice of a generation of people that they see the microphones I’ve got when I’m on my, my work calls zoom calls. And I’m like, that’s, that’s pretty big Mike, what are you gonna do Sing for us that the chokes got to happen, right. And I’m always a pretty sure is the last thing that you want, bro anywho we are working through chapters, chapter five, you can change the universe, we just got done doing the law of increase. And we’re going to do walk through a couple of exercises, and then helpful hints, and then we’ll cut it and then we’ll continue through the chapter. This one’s a little bit longer than some of the others again, feel a key, Dr. Rao snuka snuck one in here that is a true gem. And and it bears much attention. There’s much attention. So appreciation and gratitude exercise, this was pretty simple. If you don’t already have a gratitude exercise, I imagine most of you listening do. The idea, though, is that this is the last thing that you do at night. Last thing you do at night is that you write down things that you are grateful for that have occurred during that day. So please give some focus and some things that you’re grateful for during that day, spend about five to 10 minutes doing this. And do do it at least for a week, do it at least for one week. And I know that historically, I haven’t done this one at night, even though again, I’ve gone through this book several times. And I’ve done it more often in the morning. This past week, I probably did it three days out of the week. And what I really love to do before I go to sleep is to put on like some other audio or something like that. I’ll usually listen to some Vedanta society out watts, whatever, you know, whatever Swami is hot that weekend when Brian and I’ll put out some audio. And so since it says right here, the last thing you do at night, I haven’t been doing that. And I’ve been going to sleep right after I write out this gratitude. And he says, Hey, pay special attention to your morning chatter after you do this, I can tell you, I can tell you that there’s a massive difference between doing these when you wake up versus doing it when you go to sleep. And of course, I’m going to go ahead and I’m gonna, I’m going to plug the subconscious again, that when you’re going to sleep and you do this, and you love some of this information into your subconscious, that you’re you’re planting seeds that are overnight germinating and just setting your mind straight and you’re getting you’re getting that mental chatter to be the mental chatter that you want to hear. You want to see your appreciation, gratitude. So that’s the first one. And and I can tell you again, if you haven’t done it at night and made that the only thing that you do again, I have done it where I still put on some audio afterwards. And who knows who’s duplos Mario from done? What happens is, it’s almost like gibberish. Yeah, you interrupt the signal, right? You blur the signal, like old school, gravity or antennas, or maybe you’re driving through a tunnel, and you got a satellite radio, you lose connection for a little bit, right? You’ve disrupted the signal that you’ve created for yourself. Especially in the very beginning when you’re when your signals faint and weak to begin with. That’s what some of this other stuff does, right? It’s a massive interference between what you’re trying to create and your belief in it working right. So, just got a part two to this appreciation and gratitude. This is in tandem or long with or as, as you as you kind of gotten stronger or better with appreciation, gratitude exercise number one. And that’s going to be include moments of gratitude within the day. I do it with your heart, do it with your body. Really, really feel that emotion really, really feel that gratitude. I would I would dare say that gratitude is more of a feeling.

It’s a thought and a feeling. It’s a thought and a feeling. You do it with your heart do it do it with your mind, or just for a minute, merge them all and really connect and really feel, really feel it. That’s when it’s the most powerful. And he says, you know, do this throughout the day include moments of gratitude within the day. And just notice your tenor throughout the day. Very similar to noticing your mental chatter, your voice a judgment includes your witness in that so that what is your tenor? What is Brandon feeling right now you can see the feeling, you can almost see the emanation of emotion when you are in gratitude and it’s just as much larger field of vibration, it’s a clean and clear and wonders signal. helpful hints This one’s kind of fun. I mean, because look, ideally to as you’re going through it, don’t just apply this appreciating gratitude to yourself and the things apply this appreciation and gratitude to the people around you. Look for the things that that maybe historically, you’d been like, you know, this person’s put some me off this person’s a challenge and get out of this kind of victim mentality role. Put yourself in their shoes, understand and make the meet this huge attempt. This was a shift for me, but make this huge attempt to love everyone as they are. All right. love everyone as they are as they exist currently, right now. And understand that they are doing the chances are that in that very moment of their lives, they’re doing the best that they know how, even if you feel like they’re being lazy, even if you feel like they’re not pulling their way, even if you feel like for some reason they’re trying to be some versiv to who and what you are. Give them love because they’re teaching you something. They are teaching you something. And that’s the lesson, right? The lesson is, everyone is kind of a mirror of who you are, if there’s a trigger that they’re triggering within you. What does that trigger? Why are you triggered that way? Give them love for teaching you that lesson. He also says hey, if challenged with others, well realize that you’re actually wishing yourself well, right? Just because what’s what’s the line? You know, wishing others well is like, you know, something like the drinking the poison line. So big one there. And I think I think that’s it’s important, right? To go through life, honestly, not mistake, I was taught that honesty means you know, I salute the Divinity within you, right? See the divine and everyone around you realize that they their light is just as bright as yours. Even if they can’t see it for themselves. Even if you feel like they’re breaking their lightbulb and trying to stab you with it. They’re not. Right. They’re not just to see them as you see yourself and I think that the other line is you know, love your neighbors as you love yourself. You know, make sure that you love yourself properly or enough so that you are able to love others in the same manner. So let me see here. So again, he says, Hey, you will soon see this practice increases the good things in your life and it will not take long. I promise you this, there’s there’s a there’s this huge elimination of stress when you can look at everybody as doing the best they possibly can. As as you’re giving them love, as you’re thinking positive thoughts about them. Another great exercise for this one is a loving kindness meditation, make a jot here on section two. Right here, your pencil going down here. If you do, that’s great. If you don’t, that’s great to a section to add in loving kindness, meditation, if you’ve never done one, this is really nice and life altering as well. And I think it actually leads into the next chapter. We get begin to and listen, maybe you’re not but I know that I definitely have been lived in this nice energy universe that and again, we’ll talk more about that in the next chapter. You do this loving kindness meditation, and you get to start to

give your love to others in just like 10 to 15 minutes a day doing this and there’s such as wonderful reduction in stress and this wonderful sense and feeling of giving that up. I think you’ll you’ll truly appreciate it. We will be stopping here as we mosey on through chapter five or E rates succeed you can change the universe

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


The upcoming summit that will be a launch for the membership group. Summit will be 3 days and called Sober. Soulful. Successful. and have speakers than embody these topics.The thread through all this is that we can examine our problems, our pain, our passions and find our purpose in life – which is so needed to counteract temptation to return to self-abusive lifestyle. My getting clear on our intrinsic motivation, we can ask ourselves, “What is more important right now- immediate satisfaction or long term gratification?”So many people are working poor. Plus, they are doing a job that they hate. When we get clear on our highest values, surround ourselves with people who share these same values, live in alignment with self evident principles, we can get clarity and confidence to be more like the person we were born to be – (which is an internal state of being) We were not born to have anxiety, burnout, regrets, resentments and shame. Get those head trips less important to you and you will easily recognize what makes you come alive and the you will do it!

Head on over to https://www.aattitudeofgratitude.com/about/aags-founder/ to find out more about Randy Hyden

Transcription by otter.ai

Unknown Speaker 0:00
Your journey has been an interesting one to hear. You’ve questioned so much more than those around you. You’ve even questioned yourself as to how you could have grown into these thoughts. Am I crazy? When did I begin to think differently? Why do people in general You’re so limited in a thought process for sure. You are not alone. The world is slowly waking up to what you already know inside get can’t quite verbalize. Welcome to the spiritual dough podcast to show the answers the questions you never even knew to ask, but knew the answers to questions about you. This world the people in it? Most importantly, how do I proceed? Now moving forward? We don’t have to have all the answers, but we sure do love living in the question. Time for another head of spiritual dub with your host, Brandon Handley. Let’s get right into today’s episode.

Brandon Handley 0:43
For three, actually, how do I pronounce your last name?

Unknown Speaker 0:47
heighten?

Brandon Handley 0:48
tiden? Okay, Randy hyden. Right. Yeah, good. Yeah, I can’t tell you the number of times I put your somebody’s name by accent then can I got it? So just make that a practice of asking before we get going cold everything but a gentleman. Fair enough. Fair enough. 54321. Hey, there, spirituals open. Thanks for tuning in to another interview episode I am on today with Randy hyden. He is the creator of attitude for gratitude flow. And he’s coming up to you with a new summit. That’s going to be three days. That’s called sober soulful and successful. I used to have speakers that embody these topics. And, you know, Randy, and I connected kind of in some odd areas. And I haven’t told Randy this yet. But Randy was brand new saying like everything that was on my mind. And like Facebook and posts, I was like, man, I gotta get to know this guy. And we did Connect. And so that’s pretty much the genesis of how we got john here today. Randy, did you know that I was talking? I was like, you’re just saying everything on my mind?

Randy Hyden 2:02
Well, I find humor in that because I recognize that you were what you were posting was like, so I don’t know, maybe? Maybe we’re the same person in two different dimensions.

Brandon Handley 2:14
Well, I mean, I think that that’s interesting, though, too, right? We just we have the same kind of the same things kind of on our hearts, and we’re sharing them out there with the public. And I think that that’s a I think that’s neat. Um, you know, just kind of, uh, you know, that everybody talks about vive and are resonating. And there you go, right. We’re like two different tuning forks on the opposite side of the country.

Randy Hyden 2:34
Yeah, it is cool. Yeah. Because there’s, you know, we read about this stuff, but until you actually experienced it, it’s all concept. For sure, for sure. is very real.

Brandon Handley 2:45
Yeah, absolutely. So I like to start these off Randy, with the idea that you and I are vessels for creative energy, God universe, whatever you want to say. And that, you know, there’s a message coming through you for somebody listening to this podcast today. And it can only be delivered through you. So what’s that message?

Unknown Speaker 3:10
Uh,

Randy Hyden 3:13
well, the theme for all the groups with the summit and the free membership group and Facebook and the paid membership group flow, is to be more like the person you were born to be. May I explain how I came to that message?

Brandon Handley 3:32
Absolutely pleased to. Okay,

Randy Hyden 3:34
so because our listeners may not know, I am 13 years sober. Coming up next week will be 14 years sober. And so that’s, that’s something I’m very proud of. Especially because what I was new, like many people in the first year of sobriety was a day by day sometimes by an hour by hour proposition. And during those difficulties, gentleman who eventually became my sponsor, mentor, Bob, he, he told me it goes, if you hang around and do this thing, eventually you’ll be more like the person you were born to be. Actually, if they could get it since this crowd is okay with the word God, he actually said, you’d be more like the person God made you to be and get the goosebumps right now. And so that was the promise I held on to in the beginning. And frankly, I still I hang my hat on that. In the beginning, I had no idea I used to pray God provide all that’s needed and move what’s not for me to be more like the person you made me to be. I’ve said that prayer, or some form of it countless times, hundreds of times, maybe maybe over 1000 times. I’ve prayed prayed that. And up until recently, I had no idea what the heck that was. And honestly, on the outside, I still don’t even know what it is. But on the inside within me what I carry with me, I believe that none of us were ever created to carry around anxiety. We’re not meant to be burned out. Regret, resentment, and most of all shame. I do it, perhaps I’m just some kooky guy. Well, I am kooky guy. But again, maybe this this is is only something that I just carry with me. But I really truly believe in everything I want to bring out as messages. And so it’s we were never made to carry around the shame that we do. So that’s what the intention is, again, long, a lot of letters and words and in such a cut out that to reinforce what I mean by to be more like the person you were born to be? No, I

Brandon Handley 5:47
mean, I look, I love that, right. And I think that, um, you know, what you’re speaking to is really, what happens somewhere along the journey. And maybe not to everybody, but to more people than we’re aware of, because you’re talking about this. I, you said you didn’t realize what this meant, until more recently, right. And it’s not something that’s easy for you to put into words. But it’s a more than a feeling, right? It’s more than a feeling. And, and as you and I connected, you can kind of tell who’s in that space. Right? So why don’t you talk to me a little bit about what that space? Where would you be comfortable with calling? I mean, I don’t think the you know, awakening, maybe not your term. Nor is like, you know, finding your true self? or How would you describe it for somebody that’s curious about what that means to you?

Randy Hyden 6:50
Well, thank you. Because honestly, that’s been part of my challenges. This thing’s been percolating in me for years. But trying to talk about something that, again, as I mentioned, I don’t even really fully understand, I just know, I have a thing about me right now where I could move with a lot less resistance. You know, my intention is to experience and express inspiration. So others may do the same in their own unique way. And together, and we make the world a little better place. With that intention, I I don’t sweat things like I used to. I give myself a lot more room to be imperfect. And that’s, like, 1000 miles away where I was 14 years ago. But even then, again, he’s progressing. And yeah, you know, we try to, you know, talk about things that no, it’s like, joked around about us, you know, frequencies and then the, and maybe we’re the same person in two different dimensions and stuff. I mean, it’s all concepts. It’s all words, it’s, we’re trying to communicate something that really truly, it’s difficult, if not impossible to communicate, but when it’s experienced. You can you can talk about love in such earlier. Oh my gosh, yeah, I remember my best friend, he fell in love before I did. And I saw the change. His girlfriend was a friend also, as well, we hung around a lot. And I saw the change in both of them. And I thought it was the coolest thing. Really, really happy for both of them. But I you know, I had no idea what love was until I fell in love. That makes sense

Brandon Handley 8:42
that absolutely absolutely right. Again, these are these are things that these are things I always joke about the the idea of, if you would have told me maybe three or four years ago that I’d be doing this spiritual dope, personal, personal development space, and all these other things I might have punched in the face, Randy, I might not have been to because you look like you punch me back. And I might get fucked up. But the whole, the whole idea is that there’s no way that I would have found myself in this space until I you know, went through the space. And then you hear people always saying, trust the process. I’m like, now like, trust the process. Right? It has, you know, that has meaning now, whereas before, it had not

Randy Hyden 9:30
zactly Exactly. And of course, we all assign meaning to everything every moment, consciously and unconsciously. And naturally, how I’m going to view the meaning of our time together is going to be different from here then we could both say, we appreciate sharing some of your day together. We appreciate the listeners, you know peeking in on this conversation is But what exactly that looks like what that feels like and stuff. It’s very unique and it’s very personal. But again, something like gratitude or appreciation. Thanksgiving and stuff is a universal concept it is seems to be something that’s wired into all of us. But until you experience it, but I laugh I laugh so hard when you talked about punching somebody in the face. Yeah. When I, I surrendered. If somebody had told me you’re in exactly the right place you need to be. People may have heard that saying as well. Right? I sure is anything. Yeah, gotten violent. But now looking back at it and stuff. I yeah, I’ve said it countless times. And I tried to be a little mindful about that. You know, which is another thing, Mike. Mindfulness, what a word that gets thrown around all the time. And it’s, it’s very personal, it can mean different things for now. Yeah. 100%. Right, to to listen to people in a way to understand when I’m making a statement, whether that’s going to be something that’s possible for them to chew on

Brandon Handley 11:02
the right, I mean, that that talks to the whole idea of, you know, kind of talking to people where they are.

Randy Hyden 11:08
So, so how I get there,

Brandon Handley 11:10
I listen, I’m not

Randy Hyden 11:13
really been a challenge with we’ve tried to put some messaging out there, which means like marketing, and branding, and all this kind of kind of stuff, bringing this out. But you know,

Brandon Handley 11:22
I want to pause there for a second. Right, Randy, can we I think I think that marketing and branding. First for many, and even even, like, as you’re talking about it, it’s kind of like dismissing it for a second. But all you’re really trying to do and correct me if I’m wrong is, you know, share out something that could truly benefit some people and highlight some just amazing things that you know, could theoretically, PR your experience, bring people to a great place. Right. So I mean, if you’re using marketing and branding, and then again, you know, we we met through, I think James Gaffney, Jimbo, Uncle Jimbo. And, you know, his idea of branding is branding is your promise. Right? And so if you’re what you know, is sticking with that for a second, you know, as you’re doing your marketing and your branding for your school over here, again, just read it because I have a short term memory today, silver, soulful, successful attitude of gratitude and flow. What is your branding? What is your promise to these people that they can hang out?

Randy Hyden 12:32
Well, you know, I touched on it earlier, but it’s, it’s great that, you know, can we bring up uncle Jimbo? Because going through his class really helped me understand that. Just be yourself. And, and when you get back to words, like authentic, we’re being authentic, the people will get, they’ll dig it, and they’ll hang out with you, and maybe even spend a little bit of money and stuff and those that don’t dig you, they gonna hang around very long and don’t sweat it. Again, you’re just trying to manufacture it. Frankly, I was a big part of why I was miserable. I was using drugs all the time, I was trying to create this persona that people would like, so I could fit in. And I wasn’t true to myself. And consciously and subconsciously, I really hated who I become. It’s phony. It wasn’t true to myself. But then it was really scary that if I did share who I was, maybe things go from bad for worse. So I just kind of bounced against the walls, sometimes literally, but metaphorically and stuff. I was trying to navigate my way and then it was just kind of the whole stuff is Hey, man, you know, just stop trying so damn hard.

Brandon Handley 13:51
Yeah,

Randy Hyden 13:52
yeah, yourself. And that’s a funny thing. Oh, it winds up being probably better than I ever the persona I ever tried to manufacture. But yeah, James was huge. And after that,

Brandon Handley 14:05
yeah, no, I mean, that, you know, not for nothing. The course that course is, you know, for 100 bucks, top notch. I’m not trying to send people there, but I am at the same time. Like, I mean, go check that out. If you’re going to check out a marketing course go check that one out. Where would you say, you know, the, you know, you’ve gone through a transition, right? You’ve gone through a shift. And Wayne Dyer has a movie called The shift. Have you ever seen it?

Randy Hyden 14:33
No. But I love windows, everything that I have, you know, consumed has been beneficial. So you’re mentioning I’m going to stick it out? Yeah, so

Brandon Handley 14:43
absolutely. And in the in the movie talks about men going through the the shift, quote unquote, right? It’s around a certain age bracket. You and I are both in it. But it talks about the change of you know Have your attention, right? What do you focus on? Right? Do you were talking about being focused kind of like on the person you were supposed to be for everybody else? And maybe some things that weren’t so beneficial. And into maybe spirituality and discovering your sense of self? Is that make sense?

Randy Hyden 15:23
Oh, yeah, yeah. So what I’m hearing you mentioned about is what some people refer to as the first half and second half of life. Sure, okay, existential, an existential crisis type of thing. You know, and my understanding of it is, it’s not necessarily something that is chronological, or, you know, it’s based upon how many years you are, but it does commonly happen around the 40s area. Because we’ve gone through the process of establishing our identity, doing the things that we need to do with the egos really serving its purpose, you know, how do we dominate to get the mate? You know, the career, you know, how do we, how do we do all these things to create something that we could call security. But eventually, there comes a moment of clarity. And usually that comes through crisis, where you start realizing the paradigms that one serves, you are no longer beneficial.

Brandon Handley 16:24
Yeah. What do you think?

Randy Hyden 16:26
What your view is, though

Brandon Handley 16:28
it? Where do you where say, when? Or what was the situation you feel? You might have crossed the rat threshold?

Randy Hyden 16:36
Well, it’s I’m 56. So I got sober when I was 43. And,

Brandon Handley 16:42
yes, okay, with sobriety for you. Is that what you’re saying?

Randy Hyden 16:44
Yeah, so sobriety, there is the case, you know, and, yeah, it’s so personal. I was in the middle of a fog and lots of confusion, lots of overwhelm happening. It’s hard to really, you know, try to be definitive and objective about my experience. But that’s part of the thing that’s really good. When you’re in the 12. If anyone’s familiar with 12 step programs, the pay it forward paradigm, no one else who’s suffering how you once did, you process your pain, you’ve gone through a lot of problems, and you found a passion. And you want to pay it forward, you would like to help others. And as I’ve had those opportunities, I’ve been able to see myself time and time again, and go, Oh, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that’s just like, if anybody is, again, if you haven’t experienced, but you’ve heard of these concepts. It may not necessarily be resonating with you, but anybody who’s gone through it, the when we talk about how I’ve received more than I that I’ve ever given, or, I mean, these people, well, the first time I ever, ever sponsored a guy, I asked my friend Alan, who eventually became my sponsor. And hey, Tony wants me to sponsor, and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t even gone through the 12 steps myself, which again, is gone through this proc official process. I’m like, What am I going to do? And, and Alan just smiled. And he just goes, how you may be able to help Tony may not I don’t know how it goes, but I’m positive. Tony will help you. Wow. And that was enough for me to smile like you did and move forward and work with Tony. And yeah, yeah, I hope I helped him a little bit. But I know for sure without a doubt that that’s been a first person than every other man since then, like from greatly and have to give credit the thing of expanding upon this to this these things flow, attitude of gratitude, the summit called you know, sober, soulful, successful, is to have a more than just Randy talking about this, but having many voices, in their own words, their own emphasis, talking about the similar thing. So we can help other people maybe experience in in their own unique way, this inspiration that comes when you’re, when you’re present in the moment with another person. And you’re some people call it active listening. I call it listening without opinion, but being really present, right? And there’s something that happens, my guess is that it’s kind of like an end run around my ego. So why ego still present all the chaos and confusion, the scrimmage is going on in front of me. And somehow I snuck around the side got in the goal line. thing, for sure. My soul has been trying to tell me but there was too much noise in my head, you know that. We have these voices in our head, you know, the Buddhists call the monkey mind and stuff. And it’s, it’s like if you and I if I was talking over all the time, I’d never be able to hear you, right. So again, I go All these voices in my head when I can get into the state, and it’s just like a meditation, I’ll focus on my breathing and stuff, but I will really listen to it. And I could, maybe there still every now and then some poo get flung around in the monkey mind. But all in all, there’s enough quiet that that I’m hearing something then I need to hear. And that’s what I mean by experiencing inspiration. That’s something that makes me just, I don’t know, people out of my life,

Brandon Handley 20:31
I’m sure. You know, let’s talk for just a second I mean is it is it sobriety you you feel or sobriety you feel that in of itself, or this connection to source type of thing connection to a higher power and this? This is? Quite honestly, this is why you get your head, the tagline of spiritual dope, right? Is that spiritual high? Right, of that life high? And I think you just you just said that. So we, what is that for us? Is again, is it? Is it the spiritual high that kind of keeps you going that keeps you sober? Or is it the sobriety that led you there? Right? Or is it kind of chicken in the egg? Right? Yeah,

Randy Hyden 21:18
it’s it’s, you know, maybe so maybe no, it’s not dualistic thinking, however, I get, I came to this spiritual way of life, not by virtue, but circumstance. The 12 step is teaching you that get there are some disciplines and some actions to practice daily. For myself, I grew many times through the day of getting just getting centered. asking myself What’s more, what’s really important right now, what’s really happening, I’m just taking the 10 deep breaths, it’s just when I I’ll just, I’m just again, this is my mindfulness, I realized, I’m, I’m either dwelling in the past or projecting in the future, I’m not present in furniture, usually, when I’m catching it is because I’m just not at peace, I’m just kind of a little irritated and stuff. And because I’ve done enough times, being I’ve experienced what it is to have some common peace. I could notice when it’s been disruptive, before, it was just basically, dumb obedience, you know, which, again, you got to do this type of stuff, right? Want to get back to being restless, irritable, discontent, and, you know, needing to use the drugs and alcohol to supply what’s needed to find some kind of peace. I think a lot I feel a lot and with people, in addictions, in the spiritual ways, are a way to be able to still dance with those demons. And and Yeah, well, Karl yune, integration, work and all that kind of stuff. That’s, it’s not talked about in that way. But there’s methodologies in the 12 step program. It’s the personal inventory is getting clarity and confirmation all those causes and conditions that brought you to this point in life. Right? And without trying to go through all with what processes yet you everybody I’ve known that’s gone through that has a huge epiphany. For myself, the first time I did it,

Brandon Handley 23:23
decided the inventory.

Unknown Speaker 23:25
Yeah. Well, I

Brandon Handley 23:25
wanted to pause for one second that Randy because you mentioned a pretty good, a pretty good mindfulness habit that you’ve got. And kind of how to recognize, recognize when you’re out of out of peace, you said, right, when you’re not at peace, if you don’t mind, just talking about what that is, again, because one of the things that we’d like to be able to share here is, you know, practical application of this stuff, right? Not just all theory, like, you know, so sounded like you said, you know, if you find that you’re, you know, kind of your monkey mind stirring up or you’re, you’re finding some type of irritation you take you, you know, at that point in time that you are either living in the past or the future, and you take 10 centering breaths, is that what you do? Yeah, yeah. expand on that at all

Randy Hyden 24:16
right? Take the breath. So I’ll kind of ask myself, like, okay, what’s happening right now? Just take a few breaths, and just focus on you know, like a meditation, the cool air going in warmer air going out? And, yeah, then the answer comes to me, which again, is the point right now I’m actually kind of concerned because I’ve concluded countless times that it’s either fear or it’s love what’s going on, and again, if I’m out of peace, it’s some kind of fear. Because I, frankly, I use the word anxiety because people don’t like to talk about they’ve got fears and stuff. Sure. But the past is, you know, naturally leans more towards the word of regret. But yeah, fear that I won’t have something I prefer desire and lose something then I’m attached to, right? Um, you know, or my bullshit is going to get found out. Do ones that come up countless times, right? So being rigorously honest, minimizes the bullshit that’s going to get found out, right? And then understanding also, frankly, it’s all bullshit. Right? I know, myself, I don’t take it that seriously. And if you laugh at me, and you try to insult me and stuff, again, I just kind of frame it all up with that same way. It’s like, yep, you’re right, you know, thing.

Brandon Handley 25:38
Right? Right.

Randy Hyden 25:39
But if there’s someone that I really am kind of attached to their opinion of me, we get typically I’m not conscious of that. Right? I respect you, Brandon, if you were to say something that may or may not have been designed to twist the knife, right? I felt a little Sting, say something, right? And sold or whatever. And it doesn’t mean it was intended to be that way, if I interpret it, is that that’s one of those disruptions? Yeah, no, I

Brandon Handley 26:09
and I love that you brought that up, I experienced that recently, myself, you know. And through these mindfulness practices, though, that you and I are talking about, I was able to, I was able to pinpoint, and I was like, Wait a second. You know, I’ve attached like an authority to this person, I’ve, I’ve given this something that I mean, that’s quite literally what I’ve done. I’ve given him power over me, right? whereas he has none. Right? And able to just to just notice it. And also notice, too, that could just be simply my interpretation of, like you said, my own bullshit, right? And just kind of, you know, being able to identify it and let it go.

Randy Hyden 26:54
Right, right. So again, that’s the thing is you can win. In that hypothetical situation, again, where I feel the same thing. That’s when I would first ask myself, you know, also just kind of, I didn’t feel good for myself, a lot of my, my attention gets around the neck and shoulders areas, everybody has it in some people in the gut and stuff, but you know, I feel this and it’s just like, okay, I asked, okay, what’s going on right now? Take a deep breath. Me, you know, get sometimes 10 sometimes it doesn’t take that many and stuff. And it’s just yeah, Allison identify? Well, I have put myself beneath Brandon. Right, right. Right. Right. Yeah. Okay. And then I can do it repeat over it a couple times. And it’s, it’s amazing ones becomes practice. Yeah, you just did. I can. Sometimes it’s, it’s less than 10 seconds. I’m back centered. stuff. And if I don’t have to do as deep of a inquiry into the situation,

Brandon Handley 27:51
right? What would that inquiry look like for you? Um, if you if you put me above you, what would that inquiry look like?

Randy Hyden 27:58
Thanks. That’s a great question. So it is I would think a lot, it would just be good. a million questions, you know, is, why am I doing this again, it would default much more to again, kind of the self loathing type of stuff. What the hell do I think he’s so great. Oh, my God, I embarrass myself this show. Listen, that, you know, it’s I think a lot of people have had moments.

Brandon Handley 28:22
Absolutely. You know, that’s why I think that this is this is, this is very helpful for for someone who hasn’t found that yet, or hasn’t identified it yet. As you and I are talking and as like I said, I just realized I did this just a couple weeks ago. You know, I was I taken a course where, you know, you were taught to identify whether or not you put someone above or below you, right, and really, no one is above or below you. But sometimes you do it by accident, right? Sometimes mentally, you just don’t recognize it. And it wasn’t, it wasn’t until recently that it did a little click right and like, Oh my God, that’s what just happened. So my hope is that if you know if you’re listening today, and you hear Randy talking about this, that this is something that if someone has pissed you off, if you feel hurt by someone, the good idea to ask the question, you know, where where have you positioned them in your life so that they could do so?

Randy Hyden 29:23
Yeah, yeah. And again, mature shorthand of that is what’s really important right now.

Brandon Handley 29:27
Yeah, I love that.

Unknown Speaker 29:28
Yeah. Yeah.

Randy Hyden 29:31
It call it intuition subconscious, God, universe, whatever it is. There’s this small still voice that it began if I make space for it will remind me Oh, yeah. You think you’re above bread? Oh, you think you’re below four grand? And it’s just, it’s good. I don’t have to discuss it much more than that. It’s like, Oh, that’s what’s going on. Right now. We’re again in the past I would have turned this into, like 1000 word essay in between my ears. and stuff and then right you know, but yeah concluding is like okay so all that stuff is fear and really truly when I can take that and make that a whole lot less important again I’m not trying to present myself as some kind of guy that’s got it all figured out guru whatever I’m just sharing techniques and tips that have covered be a lot less alcoholic whatever behavior I exhibited when I was alcoholic I mean there’s a thing in the in the rooms if anybody’s in recovery you’ll hear a phrase called dry drunk talking about is you’re still thinking and feel the same way as when you were drinking you just have accidents going on. There’s no entity in that person’s wife. I mean no bullshit. The been in meetings where people told people to go get drunk. Wow. Because the egos you need to go get drunk right now. And, and not like it like one person would say and then would kind of echoed around the room because that person was just so far from peace. Now that I know some people might think that’s crazy. And all those kind of stuff my shirt and did happen reffer I remember exactly that day we were I was sitting in around the tables. But yeah, I mean, again, that’s just that kind of person where it’s just basically it’s it’s a knee jerk reaction to somebody being so aggressive and lashing out at everybody and stuff. That almost kind of retaliating in a way that could be interpreted as revenge, or at this time, it’s like, dude, oh, just go get drunk, man. Get out of this meeting. I don’t care if I ever see you again, kind of stuff out extreme and this person was proclaiming? I have no reason to doubt it like 30 some years of sobriety. Wow, good 30 years that you’ve been abstinent, but apparently you’ve never gone through and done one or two that we’re touching on here to try to diminish and minimize that. That and, but also want people to know that. You don’t have to necessarily have gonna say things extreme. Right? The chaos, the confusion, all that kind of stuff that addicts and alcoholics are getting the bottom. Right. You can it’s just human condition. Yeah, we’re getting we’re indoctrinated with a worldview around us. We’re here. We’re in North America, we’re materialists, we’re consumers and such. The media the messages that come around, you know, whether it’s through the official propaganda or the how that those messages are repeated, or, you know, in our, in our workplaces, around our homes and stuff, you know, we start adapting these things that didn’t work enough that we continue on with, you know, how does, how does this continue? Because there’s a little bit of usefulness.

Brandon Handley 32:55
Sure, sure.

Unknown Speaker 32:57
Enough in it,

Randy Hyden 32:58
the bonding, we have the commonality and stuff that but yeah, but in again, is it? It’s so difficult for me to say any other time than that, you know, just for a milestone of my sobriety date, November 6 2006. For me, too, because that was the first day Frankly, I think up until then, for last I don’t know how long because again, it’s just a blur. I didn’t care if I lived or die. Sure. And and suddenly, I didn’t care. Oh, you know, they they talked about, like divine intervention and stuff. I explained it any other way. Yeah, that was perfect buddy. Who goes on for years. And again, some days wishing I was dead. Just really? Don’t think it’s also now everything changed. Like that kind of stuff. But just the door cracked open enough. Also, and I was considering that. Yeah, you know, everything I desire. Anything I could commit to my education, my health, my career, my marriage. Anything that I could consider that I would commit to to try to make better was I school when I’m getting blackout drunk every night?

Brandon Handley 34:10
Yes. Not easy.

Randy Hyden 34:12
And, and that was the instead of the typical, okay, big deal. Now, it it bothered me.

Brandon Handley 34:20
Yeah,

Randy Hyden 34:20
I was like, man, maybe you really should stop doing this. And and that conclusion came it was just in the workplace. It was just a team building exercise, go around the table. Everybody around the table, identify somebody they respect that they you know, admire. And then the second rotation around the table was what characteristic does that person possess that you wish you possess more of? Right, render out Eric bepro best man at my wedding. So yeah. Um, Eric is a third degree black belt. He is a master technician for Nissan and Infiniti, Toyota and Lexus IS A GREAT dad, great musician. I mean, he’s the guy who, man if if he puts his mind to it, he does it. Right. First Response, I named him and I was going around thinking my head what my answer would be, I was gonna say discipline. But I realized the source of Eric’s discipline is commitment. Right? So again, when Eric makes a commitment, he honors it by his actions. Wow,

Brandon Handley 35:27
Dad love that. I love that

Randy Hyden 35:28
demonstrated that for me. And I knew, because we’re friends and such that this was something that was not like trying to, I don’t know, figure out how to do a manned spaceflight to Mars or something, right? You know, my friends can do it, then maybe I can do it. And he didn’t know at that point in time, we were two different. He’s in Las Vegas, I was in Southern California. So it wasn’t like we’re hanging around all the time. But again, somebody had demonstrated to me what it was like to be a man who could make commitments and be disciplined enough to achieve his goals in life. And therefore, you know, it wasn’t like, I don’t know, watching some movie where you know, you’re, you’re inspired by the hero and the story and all that kind of stuff. It wasn’t fictional. It was, it was very, very true. And, yeah, so that’s very powerful. And I, again, that happened over and over this last 14 years of people I would meet men I would meet, they would would have something that I wish I had a little bit more of. And I was very fortunate. The Psychology of this is that it’s kind of Shadow Work. What we are attracted to, is something we possess in ourselves. But now, some people may have also heard it referred to and can spot it, you got it in negative form. Absolutely. So those that those people that do things that annoy us, we find unattractive, that’s something we’re carrying in our shadow. So again, another practical tip, when I find someone who’s behaving in a manner that again, I can proclaim them to be a jerk. And write that, um, that’s a moment for me to reflect and it’s like going, how am I like that person? Right? Or, you know, so? Oh, yeah. And I can be a little more again, back to mindful I can just be conscious of the fact that I don’t want to be loud, rude, obnoxious, but I’m gonna dominant. an egomaniac with an inferiority complex was raised. Not sure. I don’t want to move through life. Okay, ready? Is it important enough for you to do something about it? Yeah. So again, having a mentor, a person that I admired, and something that I wished I could have more of, in, that they possess in their character? Yep, they could give me some tips, some techniques, couple, you know, shortcuts to how to say that I wouldn’t have to necessarily take as much trial and error process to figure out how to do this. And again, it’s always simple. You want to be more honest. Okay, just be more honest.

Brandon Handley 38:13
Right? It doesn’t have to be complicated. Now. One of the things you know, we do here spiritual dope is we talk about, you know, how do you take these, these kind of their revelations and usually, you know, just does what they are the kind of revelations of epiphanies and new ways of being and integrate that into your daily life. And what I want to read a little bit about what you put in what you put in information that is shared with me here is you know, what, what is more important right now immediate satisfaction or long term gratification, but this other piece really kind of stood out to me as well as so many people are working poor, plus, they’re doing a job they hate, we get clear on our highest values surround ourselves with people who share the same values, live in alignment with self evident principles, we can get clarity and confidence to be more like the person we were born to be. Which is an internal stuff I’m just going to finish read it because it’s really great and you know, touched me when I read it is an internal state of being we were not born to have anxiety, burnout, regrets, resentment and shame. That’s what’s covered in the beginning. I get those headshots less important to you, and you will easily recognize what makes you come alive and and then you will do it, then, you know. So, again, you know, how that feels good to say. Feels good to feel, you know, it feels good to read. What are some ways that you can suggest to people to apply it?

Randy Hyden 39:44
Well, first, thank you for sharing that. I know those are my words. When you read them. I’m like, Yeah, I did write that. Honestly, man is I’ve been talking about I’ve retained, I don’t know, 20% of that. But what I know when that was written it was very much Begin about just getting clear what’s important right now getting centered, and then float out.

Brandon Handley 40:05
That’s great.

Randy Hyden 40:06
And, and yeah, I’m just gonna go, that’s good, man.

Brandon Handley 40:11
That’s great. I mean, again, like, like I said in the beginning of the podcast, right, you know, something, we’re vessels for we’re vessels for creative energy, right? where, you know, if we look at God as the creator, were made his image, then we’re creators, two or four attached to God, Gods with him as well, you know, all one, then again, we are creators, we are vessels for creative creativity. You know, whatever that looks like to you is one thing or another. But when you communicate, and you and you share something out the way that you wrote there, that’s, you know, that’s truth flowing through you. And that you’re, you’re you’re needing to share with others. Right. And that’s, that is a creation in my mind.

Randy Hyden 40:53
Yeah, so they get so as I joked around and said, it’s like, it’s all bullshit and stuff, you know, a person just trying to be light hearted. But on the other hand, yeah, when you talk about truth, yeah, when I can get in that, quote, unquote, spiritual state, which, whatever that is, I’m no monk.

Brandon Handley 41:14
It’s a surrender state, right?

Randy Hyden 41:16
It’s a state of surrender. Again, it’s just again, the practice is just I do my breathing. I’m letting the noise in my head, dissipate in just calm down. And this just comes through. And it’s like, I’m collaborating with God. And it’s, this it comes back. I’ve said it already before a couple times, in stuff is. In fact, you have lots of words right now you just really can’t describe this you have to experience and it’s amazing. And it’s, it’s like life is better than you could ever ask for even even imagined. And, yeah, so therefore, again, default, you know, otters at god okay? I’m some some guests on my guest forgot, you know, kind of thing. I don’t, I don’t think I’ve had that many just flukes in my life. They’re just dumb luck, dude, something came out of you. And in fact, we haven’t really talked about this other thing. I’ve got a collection of writings when I went through my going to talk about my friend Alan and him eventually becoming my sponsor, Alan had I don’t know what it was an aneurism or what exactly it was. But basically it was were a spinal cord went to his brain, it exploded where the to attack. And yeah, and I was overly dependent super codependent on this man. Right? He couldn’t talk, he was doing care and all this kind of stuff. I mean, it was a major thing. It took him probably eight months before he could even like point at letters, spelling things, things out. And because I was so relying upon him to process things that were percolating in my head. I was very fortunate, a mutual friend suggested start journaling. So I’ve Frankly, I got a collection of a bunch of stuff that I would read to my wife. Similar you just read that to me, and she’d come back was she goes, did you write that? I talked to you every day and you don’t talk like that stuff. But it was again it was not by virtue but circumstance that I was processing shit that had to come out. And and because my ego my wind and stuff, trying to discern whether this was something that is politically correct, or you know, is appropriate for for this conversation and stuff and get my being so much in my head, and instead trying to find some balance between the head and the heart stuff coming out that all Yeah, you know, this is where I guess this is like a lot of my low self esteem. And think I wasn’t capable, I wasn’t worthy of really being the man that against that I aspired to be also and it’s just like, dude, you’re you’re not as big of a piece of shit as you think you are. I you know, counteract that I did get through my grandiosity and I had to get my moments of humility to come back. And when I was good about man, it’s like I am either. Not right of it. I think it’s the pendulum still rocks back and forth with those 100% but it’s not as far and therefore it’s not as long and there’s, there’s a lot more time where I can be centered, I can be in alignment. And I know I’m really grateful that I’m still alive.

Brandon Handley 44:39
Yeah,

Randy Hyden 44:40
I’m old. For some people. It’s just again, just, you know, start going against it as you get older. But yeah, we all went at it pretty hard. When we were younger. I was no longer here and Alan died a sober man, but there were two other guys. He was smoking. When I was around mark, Marty and Tim, and I was envious of them, they hadn’t made the progress they had had had the spiritual awakening before. I did. I wanted that and stuff. And for whatever reason, it didn’t seem to stick with that. Of the four core of us. I’m the only one who’s still on this planet. Wow. Yeah. Well, I mean, I know why they’re gone and why I’m still here. But my back to guessing and in such is I think this recovery was not just for me, either. There’s a big reason to my motivation behind this one, as you know, was instilled upon me, and it’s out of gratitude. Have men helped me that I want to help people, this law of reciprocity. But yeah, I shares we’re talking right now, Brandon, everything that I’m doing right now, is is is my desire to share freely as it was freely given to me the opportunity to see these principles to see these processes, but basically, the principles and process of a 12 step thing is a 12. is no one’s ever heard the 12 step before. The 12 step is having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps. We practice these principles in all airfares, and try to help the person who’s still suffering.

Brandon Handley 46:15
Not I mean, look, I love that right. I definitely love that. Well, let’s, let’s let’s um, you know, let’s we’re winding down, I want to just give the opportunity for you to chat a little bit about what people can expect and when we can expect the sober, soulful, successful summit.

Randy Hyden 46:34
I should be better prepared. I don’t have the exact dates. We’ll call it middle middle of January. Okay. So yeah, very, very grateful for this at that. Yeah, I just kind of popped into some Facebook groups and stuff. And some people I’ve known over the years, I have like 30 people that want to be presenters. Wow. At this, it’s, it’s amazing. Yeah, we’ll kind of see how as things progress, who loses interest and this stuff. Um, but yeah, so basically, again, with if you’ve ever been to a music festival, and over three days, and each day, there’s the headliner. And then you have the supporting acts. So if you can figure One day, the like the Friday would be super. And the headliner for the second day, it’s so full. And then the third, third day successful. Now, again, these all are part of a fabric they all intertwine, and again, these people I envisioning, and where they could probably get plugged in on any day, but it’s their presentation. It’s their moment, I’m really just facilitating, then the opportunity presented to an audience we’re going to have. But yeah, if you could imagine you go to a concert, you want to see the headlining band, but you heard one of the opening acts, and you’ve never heard of them before. But after their performance, after what they share, you go, oh my god, I want all the records now. And now I go through there, and they hear something that they want, and then they’d like more of it. Well, they’ll be kind of like, what we’re doing right now is, tell me a little bit more if they want, want to connect with you. But also, that’s where this flow community is all these presenters and more, we’re gonna have like 30 people, or more, my intention is even more in the community that have gone through the problems, and they’ve gone through their pains, they’ve processed the trauma, but also got clarity on their passion, what they’re being drawn towards, and, and basically wanting to pay it forward in this in this online community called flow state of being present in the state of flow. And I’m really, really excited because again, the premise is that, you know, somebody might did what I say, and we can connect, and we can have something that again, it’s hard to describe, but maybe not. And again, that’s Genesis a quad like something that you present somebody who could connect with what you you’re sharing your language, your emphasis more so than me, and that’s fine. So again, we’re just kind of stacking the debt, we’re increasing the odds, if somebody comes in there, and like myself, I didn’t know what was going on, I just knew I was miserable. You come in there, it’s a place of respect, kindness, you know, and, and it can, one of the ground rules will be if you want to, you got to vent there’ll be a section or called Get it off your chest. Like, you got to vent and stuff, but you can’t. You can’t do the stuff you see in social media, people make it if I disagree with you, and stuff, then I’m going to try to win the argument in a Facebook post and stuff and persuade you to think the same way I have this right. You know, hey, if you want that, hey, there’s this thing called Facebook. But if you’d like to have a situation where you’re connecting with other people that are on this path of again, Randy, let’s be clear, real quick. you’re developing this platform off of Facebook then as well right so flow is outside of Facebook, and In its own community, is that correct? Yeah, yeah, it’s on the circle platform, it’ll be developing will be launched that will be in the next 30 days, because what I want to do is have something going on. So when the summit happens, and people want to go to it, there’s already people instead of a ghost town.

Brandon Handley 50:16
I got a question for you though, too. I mean, could you know, you know, do you, do you feel now two things one, do? Can you imagine, you know, 13 years ago and seeing yourself do this now, that’s one and two, you know, a big part of what it sounds like you’re doing is, you know, you’re, you talked about it early on, you know, cheese here, you’re moving with less resistance, you’re moving with purpose and intention. Sounds like you’re trying to and you really are. Serve something greater than yourself.

Randy Hyden 50:50
Yes. Thanks for recognizing it’s cool. It’s, it’s a good compliment. I like that. Yes, I am intentional on that. And in regards to the first part of the question. Yeah, I used to say what I get I do have a Judeo Christian, you know, basis for my view. But yeah, I would talk to people and say, Look, I could sit across the table from Jesus Christ. And I know for sure, this is us. And then we can substitute Buddha whoever or whoever and kind of stuff. But this divine person pretty much got it all figured out and knows who I am and can say, hey, yeah, 13 years down the road, Randy, this this and this is going to happen for you. And I’d be like, you know, dude, I heard every word you said. But you’re gonna have to repeat it back because as far as I’m concerned, you got me confused with some other Randy dude. Right? Right. This is not me, right. But yeah, now that you can back to the incoming into we’ve got to experience once we go through this stuff. Yeah, my confidence is my clarity is increasing or getting sharper. My confidence levels are rising that I can practice imperfect action. And which I one thing here real quick. So in that again, the it church, the pastor de Brisbane, another mentor of mine, and such. He was talking about how the Hebrew culture 2000 years ago, the time time the Jew, Jesus walked around their concept of the Word Perfect, met, lacking nothing. So again, Randy, most of the time up until he shared that with me, perfect was getting my way. You know, I have my preferences. I have my attachments a perfect world, this would happen and this Right, right, right. You know, and so but with that concept, do I lack anything?

Brandon Handley 52:47
No, man.

Randy Hyden 52:48
No. And so that’s about the most most spiritual thing right now. This is the latest epiphany. epiphany for Randy is Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 52:59
I lack nothing. That’s great.

Randy Hyden 53:01
I walk I get to walk around the block this morning, beautiful day as I’m walking around here and the birds. And I just everything was okay. Yeah, my three, I’m safe. Have my health I have people that I love. There’s people love me. You know, I have a vision. It’s, it’s coming forward.

Brandon Handley 53:22
Powerful, too. You know, if you don’t mind, I think that I think that what is your idea of vision? And you know, what does that mean? mean to you?

Randy Hyden 53:33
Well, you know, you can we’ve been talking about my vision it in that way. But, you know, I think for myself a lot of times what I would call purpose, or my calling. Dr. Stephen Covey called it your voice. In such. For me, it’s something that’s really important, but it’s also benefits others. So first, someone else again, on the exterior, whatever it is, what’s important to you, and then back to get it. Perhaps you want to be a pastor priest, you know, guru and stuff and you want to share enlightenment with other people. Okay, that’s something that again, just resonates with you again, my definition of spirituality is that that what animates life and what just makes me just be more alive than normal. But I have no concept of time I’m gonna just present and everything Life is good. But then again, maybe somebody’s purpose is just to be the dad they didn’t have Yeah, look, I mean, they feel great being the dad right. And and it’s obviously gonna benefit the kids. Yeah, I

Brandon Handley 54:43
mean, there’s beauty in that right. It’s just I think the the idea that you said to on vision is this kind of greater than yourself, right includes others has has purpose and feeling involved in it. sighs this guy says curious what your take was. And, you know, how important do you feel like it is for you to have this vision?

Randy Hyden 55:07
Well, when I, when I was newly sober, it was what kept me sober. And in this vision I’ve been sharing with you, and with people listening here and stuff, it’s evolved over the course of time. But it’s been in North Star for me is, you know, trying to bring the principles in the process, the 12 steps. Initially, it was because I was going to church I was considering vocation would be in a pastor and stuff, bringing that to the church community and bringing more of the church community to recovery, and all that kind of stuff kind of being a bridge. So read my earlier writings are much, much more Christian in their orientation, good or bad. It’s just again, I could reflect and see where my head was at that. But yeah, on the other hand, you know, it’s, again, to be intentional to be in a state of flow is to be focused, okay, so am I going to just be focused on the moment or in this conversation is a piece that will, you know, it’s presenting the vision to someone else, it is a marketing, it is a brand people again, I’m just being myself, you know, but it is in a shaper for his uncle Jimbo said, Just be yourself. So again, this is intentional in the process of bringing it forth, you know, so more people can know about what something is really important to me. And, again, it’s really interesting how, again, I’m meeting people like yourself, that I never get one, we known each other for a short period of time, definitely listen six, six months, and we’ve only had a few conversations, but I really enjoyed what you put on Facebook, I really enjoy our conversations. And and again, there’s more of you, that have been coming together. This is the third conversation today, of people that they get all at all, are just really the beginning of a friendship of a relationship. And as we choked around again, I made it’s proving to me that I am in a frequency level that is attracting people also at that other higher frequency level.

Brandon Handley 57:09
Yeah, I

Randy Hyden 57:10
love that is really super, because it’s back to I don’t trying to find balance between the subjective and the objective. Okay, and again, here suggested being basically my personal preferences, my opinions and interpretations of moments and such. But the objective kind of just being too close to 401 can be four as well, too. But you know what I mean, just trying to be and when involves human beings, again, it’s, it’s like we go into a court of law, it’s in perfect, but it’s the best way guy is when you’ve got three or four people that are verifying the facts of something happening, then there’s this guy called the judge or gala call, the judge that looks at all these different things and comes finds the commonalities and conclusions is with us is what we’ve been talking about.

Brandon Handley 57:58
Yeah. I mean, that’s the thing, too, right? I’m glad you brought that up. I mean, you get what you put out, right. And this is just another example. Or you get what you put out, and the idea of, you know, kind of what you seek is seeking you. Right. And so I think that that’s, that’s a little bit about what this exemplifies? So, Randy, I mean, this is, it’s been an awesome conversation. I feel like, you know, we could definitely, you know, have many of these, and I think that we will, I’m looking forward to two more of them. But for now, we got to close it on down. And what I want to do is let people know where they can come find out more about Randy Hyde, and where should we go to find you?

Randy Hyden 58:41
Well, if you’re on Facebook, attitude of gratitude, or a attitude of gratitude, long story on that. Yeah, the in 30 days, if you’re listening to it for 30 days, or this time we’re recording it. Flow is just www FL Oh, ah, it’s all I could get for a URL for the workflow. But afterwards, I was like, like, oh, whoa, I think it’s gonna work. And then there is a website called Attitude of Gratitude as well. That’s back to where like when I talked about where it was more about leading people in gardens and stuff that’s going to be revised soon. But yeah, and then, I guess I probably get a website going for this, you know, silver, soulful, successful thing. That’ll be, that’ll be in Facebook land. Promoting that. And again, I’m very fortunate. There’s a lot of other people that believe in it, support it and think it’s a good idea too. So yeah, that’ll be happening in January. So

Brandon Handley 59:47
awesome, man. Well, thank you so much for thanks for thanks so much for stopping by and hanging out today.

Randy Hyden 59:51
Thank you. Again, thank you so much.

Unknown Speaker 59:54
We really hope you enjoyed this episode of the spiritual dove podcast. stay connected with us. through spiritual dope.co You can also join the discussion on Facebook, spiritual dope, and Instagram and spiritual underscore Joe. If you would like to speak with us, send us an email through Brandon at spiritual dope Darko. And as always, thank you for cultivating your mindset and creating a better reality. This includes the most thought provoking part of your day. Don’t forget to like and subscribe to stay fully up to date. Until next time, be kind yourself and trust your intuition.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


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Brandon Handley 0:01
Well, hello, welcome back. We are here on spiritual dope. Brandon Handley with a I’m just playing with video stuff here. Sorry, my bad I got distracted squirrel. Chapter Four, you can’t kill it and it won’t shut up. Yes. I’m sure you’ve tried to go to sleep at night, your mind just won’t shut up and just keep keep going and going and going. Anyways, we are on chapter We’re on chapter four. And we’re at this exercising this exercise of present moment awareness. Again, this is coming out of Sreekumar. Rouse, are you ready to succeed book. And just based on a conversation I had earlier this week with somebody close the organization. As long as I kind of give out information about where this is coming from, then I can use it some as my understanding. So I just want to make sure this is this is not mine, this is coming out straight straight from the book. But I just want to give you a little bit about the exercise. So you know, pick one day to do everything, deliberately and unhurriedly. Like, I made fun of myself, because I was watching a TV show while typing out my outline. So don’t do that. Or let’s say you’re in a meeting, or you’re just talking to someone, put your phone fucking down, put it down, put your phone down, and just hang out for me, right, there’s nothing in the world happening on your phone, right now that you can’t talk to someone just with full attention for a little bit. He also talks a little bit about you know, where it says, do everything deliberately on her lead doesn’t mean do it slow, doesn’t mean slow down, it means like, just do it so that you’re not in a rush, do it without a frantic pace. still recall, you know, one of the things my mom would always be haste makes waste, right? You know, but deliberately and unhurriedly, right, there’s no rush, don’t be rushed. If somebody you know, somebody is like trying to rush you through something, it’s like, they’re asking you to make a mistake. So it’s almost like a guarantee. So you just, you know, don’t react to that state law, I’m gonna do, I’m gonna do my best I’m gonna do these things I’m gonna do with deliberation. And I’m going to do with intention. And I’m not rushed to do this. There’s, we live in like this. things need to be done fast, need to be done quickly. You know, but it’s not, don’t don’t. So do it with intention and deliberation, so firm and deliberate to one step at a time, these are some of the words that he uses in the book, you know, methodical, right, you know, create a method, plan it out. And then you know, kind of follow along with the methodology that you create throughout time as you go through it. Let go of the mental models of how it should be and let go of your idea of what you think the results should be too, which is also pretty cool. So, you know, do do the things with this deliberation and unhurriedly, do these things one step at a time methodically. And then let go of what your idea of what the results should be, you know, you’ve got an intention, set your intention, make that be the thing, but then let go of that. And what you’ll find is that a lot of times when you let go, but the idea those results should be something comes back to you that’s almost greater than you could have imagined possible, which is something that that I’ve seen in my own life, so and then really listened to others. remove yourself from the picture in while they’re talking. Maybe don’t imagine yourself in their place. I don’t know I say that, because that’s what I do, right? Somebody is talking, I’m like, oh, let me My mind is puts me in there. I’m like, that doesn’t work out. So remove yourself from the picture. And just imagine that person in the picture. And that’s pretty powerful as well. So look, here’s the deal. Being able to be 100% to present to all things is certainly not expected. However, if you do try, you will get far more done, which much less stress. And ideally, and once you sample some of these results, you want to do the exercise more often. And again, I’ll tell you, just from experience, it’s not like I’m doing less, by not all tabbing or checking emails or whatever. It I’m still doing this I’m still putting the same amount of effort and energy and all things that I’m doing except for now. It’s more focused

Unknown Speaker 4:52
and intentional,

Brandon Handley 4:54
and it has a better result. And you’ll there’s less stress involved because your login and not all tabbing you’re not trying frantically trying to bat everything away or better thing down or, you know, you’re not the the goalie in hockey net, you’re trying to block all the things coming through. It’s just, it’s just you and the one thing that you’re focused on with, with the full knowledge that you’re being deliberate, you’re being intentional, and you’re, you’re giving space for for that which is right in front of you. So second exercise in this piece, too is a this is a companion exercise is not not necessarily that you have to do it. But it does not replace the first exercise. So it says a, for seven days, eat one meal in complete silence. Pay close attention to the act of eating too slowly, thoughtfully, include all all the details. With your eating, right, the saliva that’s like coming into your mouth your teeth as they cut through the food, like what are the sensations, right? What are the subtle flavors? You know, what about your hunger pangs? When do you get hungry when did and then when do they go away. And then you’ll bring the same level of attention to your drinks as well. And you’ll find you’ll just find yourself that more much more deeply immersed into your experience. And there’s so many studies to that show, if you just kind of eat with full attention you just it’s better for you and her body. So you can do this with your significant other or maybe your children or you know family members if you if you if you’d like but so long as it is done in complete silence to each mouthful 30 times and by that time is your mouse cuz it’s gonna be like weird. And he recommends that hey, you know, do this, especially if you if you have food issues. If food is is one of the things that you’re challenged with, then give it a shot. I can tell you right now these these are both tough, they’re super tough. I haven’t done the the seven days eat one meal please silence I have done the exercise present moment awareness. But we are so we are so distraction oriented, right we are so you know, distraction driven, versus, you know, being present in the moment being there that it’s a challenge. Some common reactions and helpful hints. Look, he says nearly everyone will find it impossible. Be mindful 100% of the time. The thing is, is do not berate yourself, let’s say if you lose your witness, either, right? Don’t Don’t, don’t get upset with yourself, don’t beat yourself up. It’s totally normal. You know, and and, you know, you’re going to lose the witness, you’re going to lose your ability to pay 100% Attention all the time, because again, this is brand new, right? And if you can, he says here, if you can summon the witness a couple dozen times a day, you’re doing very well. I’ll make a recommendation out there, put it on your phone somewhere, make a sticky, figure out some way to remind yourself to summon the witness, I know that I’m not the greatest at it. Again, I’m not going to beat myself up over it. But it’d be nice if I put a reminder for myself and I would see it more often. Right? You will immediately notice you’re less carried away. If you retain if you remain, you remain. You’ll you’ll immediately notice you’re less carried away when you’re going through all this and it’s really it is it’s it’s awesome. Right? The stress levels diminished much greater than you could probably imagine. And then if you can retain the witness in throes of emotion even better look, if you’ve got children, if you’re married, if you’re anybody in the world in 2020 you’re going through some frustrating times you’re you know what frustration is I get frustrated. Sometimes you do act out of out of emotion, right? But if you’ve got this witness, and you do this quick zoom out. It could be in the middle of an argument. I know that this happened that way for me, you do this quick zoom out. And you just look at yourself arguing with somebody over nothing.

makes it so easy. It’s like an immediately you’re like, stop. It’s enough. And you can just just like that. It’s like instantaneously putting out a fire, even if it was like, even if it was as hot as the sun, right instantaneous, just like that, it’s, it’s amazing. If you have a massive resistance to eating mindfully, don’t shove yourself into there, again, forcing yourself to do something that is totally not up, you’re up your alley. That’s okay, you know, just use gentle force no more. And then over time, you know, the resistance will go away, just like anything else. And the more you do just a little bit of that thing, it expands. Over time, you’ll look back and be like, holy shit, look at how far I’ve come. A couple things here. He says, Hey, people, notice that they’re full, long before their plate is empty. benefits, right. And it tends to, you know, sustained weight loss occurs frequently with the eating mindfully exercise. And look, the idea, again, to be mindful at all times, is challenging. And again, you will, you’ll catch yourself, you know, trying to do it all at the same time. And, and trying to imagine, maybe that you’re not doing it as well as you should. Because the chances are, like, I should be an expert at this, if you’ve been trying for like a week or a day, you know, and it’s common, he says to feel overwhelmed, right. And the deal is, if you begin to feel overwhelmed, well, I’m simplify, right and I he gives a really nice tip here is to pick a couple of slots that are no longer than 10 to 15 minutes in duration. And just like with the eating piece, you know, as you become more comfortable, right, with little bits of time, you’ll be able to expand on the amount of time that you are able to be mindful, I don’t believe that anyone is 100% mindful at all times, but you know, look just try your best right and and remember that if you’re just starting this journey that give yourself some grace, right, give yourself some allowance to to grow into yourself. So as your practice grows, your witness will grow stronger. Imagine that you’re in an unsavory area and you’ve got people that come to your door knocking and you’re like they’d knock on the door you open it up you crack it open and they smell like they smell like alcohol marijuana then look man you know you know the area these are guys and gals that you’re like nope, nope, no, thank you, you slammed the door shut you guard that door your life Well, you need to protect your mind with the same intensity that you protect your your overall life and well being. Same story was told to me in a very similar fashion. Imagine you’ve got cancer, right? Imagine you’ve got cancer, don’t you go out and get the best help that you can afford or is even available? Right? Your mind is no different. Your mind is no different when you let it go and waste away. You’ve basically got you know cancer of the mind, you need to tend to that shit you need to need to make sure that you’re very mindful of what you let in what types of media do you allow into your mind? We’re so the leusd by violence and derogatory media, you know, that’ll happen in different types of music, different types of shows different types of videos that we watch. And it’s like, what are these programs really telling you about the how the world really is? Right? And you got to ask yourself these you know, what type of emotional space these these things leave you in? When you’re done watching it? Do you feel relaxed at peace and full of joy and wonder Are you

Unknown Speaker 14:03
hyped

Brandon Handley 14:04
up, strung out breathing fast and like filled with tension? These are questions he says to ask. I think they’re really good ones. Is your forehead furrowed or smooth? Are your muscles tight or relaxed? And you know, it’s a better question is how do you want to feel? And if these programs are making you feel, you know, all jacked up like you’re tense at the end? Is that how you want to feel? Because again, this is this is the stuff that you’re allowing in your life you have control over that. Don’t Don’t think that you don’t see the news? Do you watch the news? I haven’t watched the news and like so long. I can’t tell you just how great I feel about it. I know that there’s plenty of people out there like Hey, you got to be up with current events. Is that the other thing? Do I

Unknown Speaker 14:51
Do you?

Brandon Handley 14:52
How is that serving you?

Unknown Speaker 14:54
All right.

Brandon Handley 14:56
And this year, I mean, look, this year, the news has brought and you know, this level of awareness but it’s also brought this crazy sense of tension to our to our world, right? The focus on COVID Yeah, we need to know about it, but like the the 24 seven, focus on it? What’s it doing for you? Right? How’s that making you feel? Black Lives Matter, you know? How’s that making you feel like What the What’s going on in the world right now we are in such like this. You know, imagine you’ve got a rubber band in your hand. And it’s like the, you know, the big one on broccoli, the big purple one, he stretched it out in the fuckers hard as hell to stretch out anyways. And then like, for some reason, it breaks and snaps your hand and like, fuck manage? Oh, you just get pissed about it. Right? That’s like, that’s like watching the news, you know, the things are going on that they, you know, tend to share or the things that make you say the fuck, right? Like, is our world really like that chance? And the answer is? Yes, it is. There’s that isolated incident that made it on camera. But again, that’s an isolated incident that does need attention. But it doesn’t need to be the thing that is blasting at you 24. Seven. And that, you know, that’s inclusive of just entertainment, where you’re watching people get killed. Murdered means all the time. Is that does that make you feel good, right is that what you want to see is that what you want to go to sleep at night, seeing in your brain and dreaming of? I know I don’t. So sorry to drive that one home. So I love this, I love this quote, It is better to allow yourself to cut is it better to allow yourself to be cut with a sharp knife than to read a wrong thought into your mind that was a Swami Sivananda who is actually used to be a medical doctor as well. Look, your mind is precious can protect it, the witness will hold up a mirror and show you what it is that you are really doing. The knowledge that you you know, you kind of watch yourself in that way in and not attached. Simply observational manner, it will it will produce change all on its own. Right. As you go through, you will build up a lot of momentum. It’s going to take some time to make its way through. And the thing is to when you recognize that your witness is missing. When you recognize that you’re going at this alone, you know, go out find your witness be like Yo bro, where’d you go? What’s up, I’m done persistently. change will happen. And I can tell you, you don’t even have to do it persistently, just any any amount. Even over a short period of time, you will notice a definite difference. And I can also tell you that when you go to like stop it right when you go. You’re no longer doing it. When at any point when you do notice that the witness is missing. You’ll you’ll notice it in a manner that because it’d be like something’s missing. Right? That’s it? Yeah. You’ll notice it. You’ll notice something and be like something’s missing. What is it? And then you’ll remember that as the witness, you’ll remember that is your mindfulness practice. And that’s it guys. That is it from chapter number four. You can’t kill it and it won’t shut up. But you can leverage it. You can leverage it, it can be your friend. That chatter can turn into that seemingly painful antagonizing chatter of like hell, so that motherfucker, you know, you can you can make go away and you can convert that into your strongest champion. champions, right? So I encourage you to cultivate your witness and tune back in guys I’m so excited listen to for those of you that have listened for those of you that have participated, and spiritual dope, thank you so much. 2020 has been one hell one hell of a year that I don’t think you will ever forget. And 2021 has a lot of really awesome things coming up for it in terms of for you.

I guarantee you you’ve got some really awesome things coming up. And then I also I want to tell you that you know, 2021 has some really awesome things coming up for spiritual dope. Have some amazing guests coming up. One of those this week Mr. Rao, I was able to secure a, a, an interview with him. And that’s just part of the miracles that have been created my year in 2020. And there’s so many other awesome and amazing guests and I’m so thrilled to be able to do this with you for those of you that have been reaching out and sharing your thoughts on the podcast, thank you. It means the world to me and I hope to we’ll continue on. Alright, we will continue on and looking forward to bringing you the best that I can. When I’m able, right so take it easy. This should be out for the holidays of 2020 enjoy your holiday season be safe, be well and until the next one

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Brandon Handley 0:00
Welcome back spiritual dope we are working on are you ready to succeed written by Mr. Rao? And we are on chapter four, you can’t kill it and it won’t shut up. And we’re on part two of how many I don’t know, it’s just God, we’ll have to, we’ll have to play by ear. We just finished up with by golly,

Unknown Speaker 0:19
I’ll stop that mental

Brandon Handley 0:20
chatter. And now we’re going to get over to an incredibly fertile plot of land. So the deal is, look, mental chatter is not the the overall enemy. It only seems to be the enemy, because you just let it run amok. I’ll give you my, my chickens, for example, right? Like, if we don’t clean up bathroom makes a big old mess, right? If you don’t, if you don’t know that they’re running around, it’ll make a big ol mess like our kids, right? If we, if we leave him alone for too long in any one area, with all the things, they’ll make a big mess, because you haven’t been paying attention. I know mine, mine, don’t do that. And you haven’t been aware of it. So the idea is, though, now now you are aware of it. All right, now you’re aware that, you know, you’re you’ve got this mental chatter going on. And it’s been going on all this time. Sreekumar says, hey, look, imagine this is a plot of land with plenty of fertile ground. And if you’ve ever, if you’ve ever just kind of cleared off a spot in your yard or anywhere, and then you walk away from it for a while, you know, with your intention was, Hey, I’m gonna, you know, do this garden. I mean, I don’t know how many of you guys tried to do a garden over, you know, 2020 COVID. But what happens is, if you don’t pay attention to it, you’re gonna get all kinds of overgrowth, and there’s no way that you’re going to be able to see, you know, the bare ground that you left behind is going to be so much overgrowth, it’s like, wow, I’m not even gonna bother, screw it. Like, I’ll get to this next year. I know, that was me and my, my garden this year. So but imagine now what what happens if you leave this incredibly fertile plot of land alone for years, and years, you’ll have a forest job a big old mess. So your mind is pretty much the same thing. Right? Your mind will grow and nurture no matter what you kind of, you know, let in there or on there, it can not be prevented. There won’t be it’s impossible, right? Something’s going to grow there. It absolutely will produce. And here’s the good news. The good news is you may influence the garden, right, it’s going to take, it’s going to take some weeding, it’s going to take some rowing. And eventually, if you’ve ever had a Successful Garden, you’ll know that you’ll have so much leftover and you’ll have an abundance, you’ll have so much leftover, that you’ll be sharing it with others. The I remember a garden that I had a few years ago, and a fig tree and all this stuff I had so much I didn’t know what to do with it, though I couldn’t even with the tiniest garden, I had so much I didn’t I had to give stuff away. Right? This is this is like your mind when you nurture these, these awesome thoughts when you begin to nurture? How you cultivate the mind, right? I mean, it’s literally cultivation of the mind. So the deal is, you’ve been away from your mind, you’ve been away from tending to your mind for four years, right? You’ve been you’ve not been tending to the idea of your mental chatter you just been like that? Well, that’s just how it goes. And it rolls out this way, right? Because who has taught you previous to now that you just you write it out, there’s just your thoughts, your thinking your thoughts, and there’s one thing you can do about them, they come they go and you know, you talk yourself like shit that’ll happen. But deal is of course we know this now. That’s not that’s not necessarily true. So when you show up to your garden, and it’s a fucking mess, don’t be surprised, right? The real thing you want to do is be grateful that there are some useful plants right thoughts and ideas anything good at all in there. And then literally set about to tending to that shit, you got to imagine that imagine the the people that came to the United States of America, and they had to they had to cultivate the land right in order to grow they had to clear down fields and forests and they had to create fields and they had to do that do a lot of that they’ll do a lot of work. That’s your mind right? You know just pretend like you’re no secrets for Columbus when there’s somebody Christopher Columbus man, but the deal is imagine years some years some adventure, right? And you get stranded at some Island and right now you’re you come into a place that you’re very familiar with your mind, you know, the things that are in there and and now you know Now you know that you can create within your mind, right? So we’ve got this, we’ve got this idea of your mental chatter. Now you’ve got the idea of, you know, awareness, right. And he’s got a great line. And it’s the weeds in your mind will wither

once exposed to the light of awareness, and you know, plenty of people will tell you this one too, that, you know, darkness goes away, once you expose it to the light, right, it’s super, super simple, same thing. And you will recognize as you begin now, with their, with your practice, the distracting and unsupportive thoughts are the things that are bringing you down and simply not serving you, you’ll be able to, you’ll be able to recognize those now. And, you know, simply recognizing that you’re having those thoughts will tend to diminish them, right, it’s kind of the idea of weeding them out. As built up, round up in your mind, if you will, or again, you know, think of it as like this kind of nocturnal plant that once exposed to the light just shrivels away, you don’t really have to say or judge anything is something that I would say about this experience, once you just recognize it, you know, see the thought for what it is, it’s a thought, it’s no judgement to it just be like, Oh, it’s not really helping me, ah, I’m gonna let that one go. Or, and literally the other concept of it is, it is a stream of consciousness. Let it go on down its merry way and it’s bubbling fucking broke and just let it go. So we get to the witness, right, the best friend you will ever have. This is what will assist you with your awareness. And this is the idea of right of watching your thoughts dispassionately and again, he calls it says, this does have a name they call it the watcher. And when I say they, it is a universal concept. I know that this is prevalent inside of Hinduism, and in mindfulness and meditation. And you the watcher merely observes, right? It is dispassionate, there’s, there’s no judgment, again, no labels assigned, you just you look at these things as their thoughts or emotions. And I learned through about that myself and headspace, right thoughts or emotions, what is it, and you don’t have to say that’s a good one or a bad one, just which one is it and be dispassionate about it. Once you begin to leverage the watcher, you will begin to feel like you are on two tracks. There’s the just kind of emotional piece where you are doing it, where you are the one doing the things, but then there’s this uncanny ability to kind of watch yourself doing these things. And it’s very interesting, right? It’s very interesting. So initially, he says, Hey, initially, you you won’t be able to hold the water for a few seconds, right? Because it’s, it’s basically like saying, the mind is like, ah, or we’re like, shut the door, I’m in the bathroom, right, it’s natural for the mind to resist the light be just kind of shoved away. And I think the other idea too, is like you’re building a new muscle, you’re building a new skill and it’s not going to be until after repetition that you’re going to be able to hold the watcher for longer periods of time. And I jotted down here too that the watcher can be seen and NLP exercises. Consider the idea of, you know, if you kind of close your eyes and you know, remove yourself one person back, take one step out of yourself. And then pretend like you’re watching yourself, when you when you remove yourself and you see yourself as here I see myself is creating this podcast saying these things and I can see my face and emotions and feel them. But I’m one step removed. And then you can do it a second time. You can say here’s the guy watching a guy who’s doing something then you can do it a third time. Here’s the guy watching a guy watching a guy watch a guy doing something and it’s kind of once you get pulled away like that far back the emotion the passion and and these kind of attached emotionally the attachment to what is happening begins to diminish and I think that’s very interesting how we’re beginning to see the merger of of these kind of East meets West the psychology energy fields and thoughts and processes. What’s even funnier is you know, here we are like NLP who does brand new, you know, thing Neuro Linguistic you know, practices and These are things that are, you know, 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of years old, that, you know, people are stumbling upon and feeling they’re brand new whereas, and primarily because they’re not familiar with Eastern philosophy or an Eastern way of thinking. They, they’re like Eureka.

So, and if you if you’ve been following along through this book, and if you’ve been following along through some of these exercises, and you’ve sincerely begun to watch your own thoughts as passionately, chances are that you have begun to see your voice of judgment kind of diminish. And it’s very interesting how you how quickly you can stop beating yourself up simply because you are you, you’ve got this, you know, you got this witness, you’ve brought somebody with you, you’ve got this observational ability that you didn’t really have before be or realize that you had before because you’ve been so attached and invested in your thoughts. Because your thoughts, they’re not man, you’ve gotten these thoughts from like the rest of the world. So they’re your thoughts. And then they make you body and your life and you feel these things. And these are my feelings. Oh, makes me so mad. Like, if you take a step back, and you’re like, well, that guy’s just getting mad because he thinks it’s these thoughts, those sayings and he’s feeling this way. But as an observer, you know, you can kind of zoom out as it were, and you can see the the, the forest right, you know, people always like you can’t see the forest because of the trees or whatever to close the tree. So it’s the same thing. We zoom out and you get to see the whole scene. And you get to detach on the video, those emotions because, you know, they’re no longer your emotions, you’re watching somebody else’s emotions. And it’s very interesting anyways. So the the witness is the friend you ought to care for and nurture more than most. I think that’s I think that’s pretty interesting one, so I’ll stop it on this one too. We fill out a little bit more to go through on chapter four.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai