Dr. Barbara is a leadership coach, international speaker, author, and seminar leader with over 18 years of global experience. She inspires individuals, entrepreneurs, and leaders to reconnect with their most profound and authentic essence, discover their purpose, and bring about positive change in their lives and in the world. She is also the author of a new book “The Unexpected Gift,” which reveals the inspiring true-life story of one woman’s journey to self-discovery and renewal after the implosion of her marriage, and her experience of creating anew her life and career she is also the author of a new book “The UnexpectedGift,” which reveals the inspiring true-life story of one woman’s journey to self-discovery and renewal after the implosion of her marriage, and her experience of creating anew her life and career while navigating different culture… connect with Dr. Barbara at https://www.barbaradallepezze.com/
Machine generated transcript below
Unknown Speaker 0:00
Your journey has been an interesting one here, you’ve put in so much more than those around you. You’ve even questioned yourself as to how you could have grown into these thoughts. Am I crazy? Wonder? Why do people in general You’re so limited as friends sharing? You are not alone in the world is slowly waking up to what you already know inside you can’t quite verbalize Welcome to the spiritual dough podcast, the show that answers the questions you never even knew to ask. But you the answers to questions about you in the world, the people in it? And most importantly, how do I proceed now moving forward? We don’t have all the answers but we sure do love Living in the Time for another spiritual dub with your host, Brandon Handley. Let’s get right into today’s episode. Either spiritual dope I
Brandon Handley 0:41
am on here today with Dr. Barbara dalla pet say she is a leadership coach, international speaker, author and seminar leader with over 18 years of global experience he inspires individuals, entrepreneurs, and leaders to reconnect with their most profound and authentic essence, discover their purpose and bring about positive change in their lives and in the world. She is also the author of a new book the unexpected get which reveals the inspiring true life story of one woman’s journey to self discovery and renewal after the implosion of her marriage and her experience of creating a new her life and career. Barbara, I think we are introduced from Tom Palladino, is that correct? Is that Tom Paladin that introduced us? That name doesn’t sound familiar. It doesn’t sound familiar. Nope. Well, are we connected? So I mean, doesn’t really matter, I guess at this point. Now, because we’re here, we’re together, and we’re having this conversation. So I always like to start this off with the idea right? That we are kind of conduits for source energy, right? universal source energy, God, whatever you want to call it, and that you and I are having this conversation? You and I will understand what we’re talking about maybe, right, you’re having a conversation, I’ve had one conversation, and you know, the person listening is going to pick up on something entirely different, there’s gonna be a communication that they’re gonna get, that can only be delivered through you. To them right now. What’s that message?
Dr Barbara 2:19
Hmm? Well, first of all, it is a feeling of gratitude for being here and having these opportunity to have this conversation with you. And whatever we are going to talk about, I’m sure the listener will find something that resonates with them. So that’s gratitude first. And then there is also in this moment that Zehra to contribute, to contribute. And I think that this is the best, at least for me, and in my experience, a great disposition to have when we when we start a conversation. So gratitude and a desire to contribute.
Brandon Handley 3:01
I love that the desire to contribute, a lot of people will stand back. Because they don’t feel like they have something that they can contribute. They don’t see what they have to offer as valuable enough, given the situation that they’re looking at, they may not think that they can have an impact. What do you say to that person?
Dr Barbara 3:23
Oh, no, I would say that we are so special. Each one of us we are so unique, so unique, that we always have something to contribute to actually I would also share that I was reading once I love to read about mistakes. And I was reading about the rays of Avila and also Katrina of CNN, they are two very important mistakes in the Middle Ages. And they were saying that we are so powerful. And we have so much to give that even when we intersect, just passers by a smile that we can give to them or even the way we look at them can change their lives. That’s how much we can contribute. So just passing by somebody, we impact their lives. And then if we take a chance, and want to share something that it is important to us, that becomes already such a powerful contribution because as you said at the beginning, you don’t know how the person who is listening to you is going to interpret and relate what you say to their life. So I think that we are a bundle of gift potential. And so and so it is always good to be able to offer a little bit of this bundle of gifts, potential to people that we intersect or they’re in our life for a moment for few days for years for a lifetime.
Brandon Handley 4:49
For sure for sure. So and I enjoy that. Take two pieces on that. First of all those mistakes are those both female mistakes. Yes. Yes. Like you know We don’t hear a whole lot about female mistakes. I know you spent some time in Asia, Asia pack, as we call it, right Asia, Pacific. And even in Buddhism, which we, Westerners like to think is like this big open, vast thing, like females really weren’t allowed to participate like at some of the higher levels. And therefore, like, you know, the reason we don’t hear about maybe some amazing Zen females is simply because they were kept out. Right. And same. And I think that the story is similar in mysticism. It regardless of kind of which which space you spend time in, is that what you found to be true for yourself? What were some of your findings, I guess, in in that space?
Dr Barbara 5:47
Actually, no, I never, I never thought about it in from that perspective, because as a matter of fact, several of the mystics that I read, I love to read biographies, they are female, and they are from the middle age. So probably they had a different rhythm. And life was slower, and they had time. And actually, there was also their calling to write, and to write books. And so we have quite a number of books that I know of female mystics, actually, their purpose was to contribute and give a little bit of their experience to other people that were living in the world, so to speak. And so they did have a chance to write their message and their experience and to share it with the world. And, and actually, I really enjoyed reading many of those female altars. Actually, maybe today would be different. Maybe what you’re saying for this century would be probably more more appropriate in the sense that yes, we might think in this way, but in relation to women that lived in the middle age, and they were monks, and nuns, they, they, they had the time to dedicate their life to writing and to write to people for people. I’m thinking while I’m talking to you, yeah. I never looked at it from that angle. But the middle lane, for sure, right. I
Brandon Handley 7:31
mean, and I just like I said, I know that you’ve also spent some time in Asia Pacific, and my guess would be you’ve been immersed in some of the Buddhist culture, right? Why? Why? Why you sat in there.
Dr Barbara 7:43
Um, I was in Asia Pacific, and in, in I was in Hong Kong, many years and in China, and then south of China, Mainland China, and Singapore, and there are very different philosophies of life and religion for there. So it was not that there was that feeling and that sense that we are all Buddhists and so that mystics atmosphere, actually, Hong Kong is a very, is the New York of Asia has been for so long, right? So you could experience certainly the different religions and philosophy of life. So read there, so. But I imagine that what you are thinking office more and mystical and meditative life, that in places like Beijing, or Hong Kong or Singapore, they are somehow a little bit on the backs backhand, of good experience. Not bad. Having said that, having said that, what is interesting is that in those places, there is kind of a thirst for spirituality. And so there are like, you can you can find those spaces within this big mega law place where you can experience a little bit of what you’re saying, but you do need to go in and look for it, because what pops up first, is the New York experience, I would say.
Brandon Handley 9:15
Sure, sure. Yeah, absolutely. You got it, you got to kind of you got to look, you got to be on the lookout for it. Right. That’s got to be something that you’re actually looking for. And then this idea of contribution, you get that sense of I get that I feel that you get that sense of contribution due to some of your upbringing. You want to share a little bit about that?
Dr Barbara 9:36
Well, I am originally from Italy. And so Italy is a Christian and Catholic countries for the majority at least, the rooted the culture is entrenched of Christianity and Catholicism, and it is an important value that contribute to the life of others. It is definitely a value there. My family as always taught me that and definitely For sure, I was brought up within that culture. Having said that the profession I am in, so the coaching profession and teaching and training, it is a profession that it is based on the desire to contribute and contribute profoundly to the lives of people that you’ve come into contact with. So, I would say that it is a big motivator in, in what I do, and in my life, the possibility of contribute, contribute to the growth of people to having people learning more about themselves, and how they can better leverage their resources inside of themselves in order to build and create a better life for themselves and the people around them, and if possible to the world at large. So, I think that contribution is one of the foundations of happiness, I would dare to say as well.
Brandon Handley 11:01
100% I absolutely agree. I personally feel like I contribute enough. Right. And when I do contribute, I get that sense of, of, of being a part of the greater sense of all the things, and that, um, I just feel better. I mean, you can’t really, there’s not a whole lot of great explanation for that. So what I was trying to hit on, I guess, sir, sorry, for not being clear was, I guess your family was active in the anti kidnapping piece. Right. So so so my guess would be again, you just kind of, and, you know, from checking out a couple of other podcasts, that that might have an impact on your desire to as well.
Dr Barbara 11:45
Yes, yeah. So yes, when I was, in my early 20s, a family friend was kidnapped by the mafia. And so my father in the community of our town decided to put together a movement that was the first and big anti kidnapping movement in in Italy. And they managed to, with a force with the help of the police and, and the government and everybody, they managed to get several people freed from this kidnapping. And I was late in AI in my early 20s, when this happened, and I had the the privilege, I would say, to really be surrounded by these and breathe into these and see the cooperation of the community and see the impact. And that something, a seed of goodness that you want to do together with anger for something that was wrong and was done, actually was able to create this movement all over Italy. And that, that generated in me the desire of contributing, I at the time, I didn’t even know yet what I was and how I would have contributed. But I knew and I felt that was too important. And so in every, every action I took since that moment onwards, I was looking for that feeling for the sensation for that. I was following that desire, I wanted to contribute, as I have experienced my father, and two people off my town did in a very crucial moment in life of our friends, because they were family friends. And and that stayed with me, and it is still there with me. Because it is effective, it is powerful. And when people are you really United for for something good, and to achieve something good. What can be achieved is immense. And so that definitely was an experience that shaped who I am and how I live my life in the world, actually. Yeah, that was very powerful, actually.
Brandon Handley 13:57
Yeah, 100%. Right. I mean, that that carry that’s, that’s the seed right from from a new to continue to to look for contribution. And that to me, again, that’s would be why that is so important to you, right, having seen that having the effects of it and having been a part of it. Yeah, we know what that feels like. Right. And you know what it looks like to gather these people together to do some good.
Dr Barbara 14:24
Yeah. And also, I would also add that I could witness how easy it becomes when people get together to achieve the same goal. Things simply flow. Of course, you do need to do your part, you need to put in action, lava things, but once all those things are in place, then then the situation moves and moves forward and forces and resources are found and everything seems to flow so smoothly, to achieve that goal. I know Of course, behind that smoothness, there is the willingness and the passion and heart of many people. So there was there was a great lesson. And I was, I’m very grateful that I had that experience. Of course, while I was experiencing that, there were people that were suffering more, because of course, those whose sons or daughters or relatives were kidnapped, of course, that was very painful for them. And in any painful experience, there is, again, somebody that is learning something, and even the, the life of this little girl that was kidnapped has contributed so much to who I am today and my life today, back to what we were saying at the beginning, for those who think that they might not have anything to give or to share, right. So even if you don’t know, you are contributing so much to the life of others. So that’s probably something that we want to remember. And keep in mind very often,
Brandon Handley 16:05
the just the very little things that we can do, and just even a small amount of contact time can have a lasting impression and a long term effect on somebody. Absolutely. Right. Absolutely. Let’s talk about what you’ve got your doctorate and right, so doctor of ontology if if I if I’ve done my research, okay? And why don’t you go ahead and share with the audience what that study of if they’re not familiar,
Dr Barbara 16:34
yes. So, when we say ontology, we are thinking philosophy, it is within the realm of philosophy, and it is the part of philosophy that studies being so the structure of being and therefore, in my particular case, the take I, I had on that was the how how, what are the structures of the human being according to the philosophical perspective? How do we work? How are we in the world? How do we connect? How do we relate with what is in the world. And that is a very interesting, interesting insight, because philosophy goes deep. And so it my experience, while doing this PhD, was really allowing myself and my brain and my reasoning tool paths that add that I never, never explored, until I could literally feel my brain opening up new neural pathways, because I was the thinking in ways, of course, led by these philosophers, thinking in ways that normally we are not stimulated in thinking. So thinking about how, who are we in the world, what we represent, what we do, when we actually leave, how do we interact, what we are actually interacting with, who is the other person in front of you, and all these elements that I found very, very fascinating. And I, I found them essential, because before studying philosophy, I studied, I said, I started another field of study, I studied architecture for a couple of years. But, and I liked it kind of, but the reason I changed eventually for philosophy is because I realized that I needed to learn more about not how to build buildings and homes where people live in, and how they are structured and how they are, what are the material that constitute those things? How do you put them together and create? Well, I was studying that I was, I was actually thinking, Wait a minute, do I know about the human beings that are going to inhabit this building? Do I know what they are made of? How do they work, what they are about? And I realized that I was more interested in learning about human beings, and then how to build them at home. And so I changed and then my path took me to old way to do this. In Depth research in my PhD on ontology,
Brandon Handley 19:19
I think it’s pretty entertaining, how you went from, you know, this external structure, right? How are the How are these external structures made? And how are they impact coming from the outside in, and you’re like, Wait a second, I want to go to the internal structure, but I want to go see how this structure is laid out internally, and work my way from the inside out. Right? And that’s, you know, just my my brief perception of kind of your lifelong journey, I’ll synopsis into all that. Right, but the idea to so who were you know, these these philosophers I have two questions. Is it? Is this ontology more of a Western study? Is it Eastern and Western, and then he’ll maybe who were a couple of the truly essential ones, or who were the ones that had the greatest impact on you.
Dr Barbara 20:17
So, the two there is one philosopher that particularly impacted my life, which is Martin Heidegger and which is the philosophy German philosopher, 20th century German philosopher, and my PhD is on his philosophy. And Meister Eckert, which is a German mystics, and I put the two of them in dialogue on the concept of abandonment, in German Gal hessonite. And, and their perspective and the way I elaborated their concept of abandonment, which is actually a concept of let go and be open to life, ended up meeting with Chinese philosophy at the end, that would have been the continuation of my research, right. But it was very interesting to see how the West meets East actually in in the way of thinking through philosophy, mysticism, and we ended up encountering also a China. So that was quite, quite interesting. So Martin Heidegger would say, and must Meister echoed.
Brandon Handley 21:32
And I think that it’s also interesting that, you know, you’ve got this, you know, the let go and meeting with life, right? Because your book has to do with, I would say something similar, you know, you went through, you felt like you were in a decent part in your life, a good part, coming up to a flourishing part. And then next thing, you know, your husband’s like, hey, let’s get a divorce. And meanwhile, you’re like, you’re my first guest is like, initially you’re holding on for dear life, you’re like, no, this isn’t how this is gonna work, at least mentally internally, like, No, no, no, no, no, everything’s great. But like, now, you’re at a point where you let go, you use that material to grow yourself, and you shared some of that material in this book. Let’s talk a little bit about the book and, and some of the materials that you shared, what you found in there.
Dr Barbara 22:26
Yeah, well, first of all, the paradox was that when I finished my PhD and my a marriage and imploded, Akshay just finished a doctorate on letting go. And here it is, I am immediately asked to experience that let go deeply and profoundly and I would say completely, so, that was quite radical and brutal as an experience also, because as you said, it was out of the blue and it was definitely not what I wanted. And it was the book, which is the unexpected gift, everything was unexpected, to the end, which is the unexpected gifts. So the path the process and, and the ending, if you can see that there is an ending, it is the story of my years 15 years experience in Asia, actually, Asia, Australia and Singapore. And and it starts with it is triggered by my marriage and the breakup of the marriage. But in fact, it becomes a story of how do you discover yourself So, I thought I knew myself I thought I had my what my life figured it out, I had my values, I had my purpose. And suddenly this out of the blue element completely destroyed everything and so, I had to find again who I am, what am I standing for? What do I want? What does my life look like now because what happened basically destroyed all the narratives and the paradigms I was used to consider valid and that what was that they were actually at the foundations of who I was and of my life. So, it was, it was like really suddenly find yourself in the desert inside and out. And having to to figure out what what do I do now? What do I plant? How do I water the soil? How do I move forward, there is desert in front of me. Everything is gone behind me. So what do you do? Where do you start? and ended the book is the stories of my journey and so all the inner steps and outer step. I talk to rebuild, recreate and reef reconnect with myself and the new life that was waiting me in in the future and that clearly wanted to me But it needed some digging, and some experience, it was quite intense. And while I was going through this, I was looking for books that would tell me that it would have been arrived that it is possible that there is a life after these. And I could not find any. And so I decided, you know what, let me write down few of these things that I’m experiencing. And until I reached a point where I decided, Okay, let’s do a book, let’s write a book, because I want to speak from the future. And now I consider that my book speaks from the future because I went through that, and I’m here with Andy’s is the future. So for people that are in this traumatic situation, vinit, the divorce Bennett challenges that have nothing to do with divorce, but they challenge who you are, and your worth, and what you stand for, they can see that there is a way and mind when I write in the book is, it’s been what I have found that worked. And so I wanted to share, and I wanted to give my contribution on these as well.
Brandon Handley 26:09
all comes back to contribution, doesn’t it? So what I think is great is is what you’re saying, we identify ourselves so much with the relationship that we have, especially with this significant other because we’re building a life together, right? You’re building this life together, we’ve got this kind of we’ve got this, we’ve got this picture, scoped out, or futures scoped out, in one way or another. And then when this disruption comes, that whole thing just dissolves, falls away, falls apart. And now really, you start the questioning your own identity, like, Wait a second, how did I miss this whole thing up? Right? And then we start blaming ourselves, right? Again, like, I don’t know, if he’s, like, I know, I’d be like, I’m like, how did I mess this whole thing up? Where did I? Where did I? Where should I have made a left? Right? And or is this just our past, right? Is this just our path? And now you’ve got to Colton, you know, you’re talking about this, you’re, you’re in the desert, and it sounds like you’ve got to cultivate a new sense of self.
Dr Barbara 27:16
You have to cultivate a new sense of self and new sense of what’s possible. And, and a new sense of responsibility, because I, I, my former my ex husband kept saying, Oh, you did nothing wrong, it is me. But I wanted to have done something wrong. Because if I had done something wrong, then I could do better next time. Right? Right,
Brandon Handley 27:39
I’m gonna need I’m gonna need a 360 feedback on this thing. Everybody in who else was there?
Dr Barbara 27:48
Exactly. I get you. Exactly. Yeah. And then you figure out what you want to, you do need to think really outside the box, do you did not even realize you were in and, and you define your way of imagining your future? Beyond the narratives you have always
Brandon Handley 28:08
thought of? I want to stop there for a second, right? Because I mean, you know, you bring up like this box that you didn’t even know you were in just talking about our own limited senses of self, right, our own limited senses, it stops here stops with this story that we’ve been telling ourselves. Right? Yeah, the end the relationship. And, and just to just to kind of continue in this whole idea, right, like, so. ontology contribution, you know, taking this relationship that you’ve gone through, and you’re, you know, you’re deeply, you know, mysticism, studying I akhar. And and on these mystics, and this philosophy, and you’re a coach for the business world, right. And I think that sentence pairs really well with the idea of what spiritual dope is about it’s about how do we how do we merge those two? Right? How do we take all this? You know, the spiritual sense of well being these these maybe ideal philosophies? And, and how do we apply it to the real world? And I want us back to the beginning here, because it was that sense of contribution. And you were talking about what it’s like to get everybody together, right? When you’re for for the kidnapping group, right? And how that all work. To me what you were saying there, pairs so easily and readily to the business world, right to to corporate culture, because if you can get everybody to buy into the vision, we can get everybody to say, Hey, I’m contributing, I’m doing my part. I do have something to contribute, and I can see what the vision is. I mean, a pair so is that Yeah, same.
Dr Barbara 29:47
For the work I do the leadership work I do and I do on a global scale and the level of depth at which I’m in, I need my clients is such that I made them in their humanity. And so that’s in the fact that they before being managers, directors, CEOs, talent said before that everybody is a human being. And once you have an end and discovered and unleash, what is this humaneness, then then there is no job to be done anymore in dissent. And then people are free to really express fully their talents. And we all have so many talents. But we need to be able to free them to see them first and then real, release them. And so what I do, and how do we bring together mysticism ontology philosophy into the business world. And to tell you the truth, while I was going through this situation, I also was leading a research cluster on philosophy, therapy and medicine, and I was researching on pain and suffering. And right then and there working with the oncology department of the hospital, I was finding elements that I was in Hong Kong that I thought they were so important to be brought into the business world. And so I bridged that those worlds as well. So the medicine and pain and suffering into Corporation and into finance. And again, because people in the work, they suffer, they have conflict, they are experiencing deep, profound suffering, sometimes, and sometimes very often. Right. And so approaching my clients, making sure that inner conflicts and the suffering that is not expressed is actually resolved and transformed as what freedom to be the extraordinary leaders or managers are team members that they they need to be in corporations in order for corporations to thrive. And so the way I work, I work at the core of humaneness, and that doesn’t matter, right? If you are in a corporation, if you are a lawyer, if you are a mom, if you are podcaster, doesn’t really matter, you You are a human being. And that’s where we want to work because the resources to stronger resources aren’t there, the technicalities of how to be a in finance, how to be a salesperson, how to be a stock broker, that you learn, those are techniques, and you choose to learn them, right. But first, I work on day, humanity. And I invest in human capital, that that’s what I do. And so, philosophy pertains to human capital, Mr. System pertains to human capital, all these arts pertains to Human Capital One. So that’s the level at which I work. And also, that’s also why my experience which starts from a divorce, it is a leadership experience, right? Your life experiencing is your leadership experience. And the in the book, there are foundations of these leadership just because you learn how to lead and lead yourself first, at the best boss in the best possible way,
Brandon Handley 33:18
for sure, for sure, give me a I’m really curious to hear the suffering that is not expressed. How, what is something that you do? some exercises, what is do you find you find you find the financial guy, he’s suffering? He’s not expressing it? How do we how do we help them to express it? What So what are some tools What are some ways that we can help in that space,
Dr Barbara 33:45
I can get share an example. When you find and maybe you don’t need to be a coach to notice this, but when maybe you have a friend or if you think about somebody that keeps complain about something, and he’s very animated and complaining about something and and he’s angry about it, that hides behind it to me as a coach, when I hear you complaining so much, there is some some pain and suffering behind that. So, first of all, I need you to become aware that this is something that you are not expressing in the best possible way for you because when I complain about something, I am giving away my power. So what I do I help you to see first of all that you are giving away your power I we look into what is it that you are complaining about that? And what is it to you? What is it that you really mean to say and this is from a cognitive perspective first, but then it is also expressing emotionally because cognitively you can say millions of things and yet you keep complaining and keep being angry. And so you’re not really expression, pain and suffering and it is an emotional experience, right? So you need to let your emotions free That’s why we use body work. When I do work on these you use your body to express to your body, I use the voice. So singing, and being able to find really the sound of your voice deep sound, deeper sound, and be able to express it in a in a loud voice for a strong tone. Because that’s scary, and that is liberating at the same time, but we are not used to express who we are even in suffering so deep inside, so I kind of help my client in this example, first realize that there is some suffering that he is he or she is expressing through complaining in this example, right? And then we go and look behind that. So what is it that actually hurt you and that you are complaining about and often it is not really what they are complaining about? It’s something deeper, and that’s where the work then started, okay, let’s express it with movement, let’s express it with the voice. And then once that is released, and therefore, the person does not have a block anymore, then we can start working. And that’s when the liberation and the expression transforms into something that it is okay, now, what do I actually want to build? What do I want myself to be what I want my profession, what I want me my life to be? Or how do I want to show up at work instead? So it is a matter of unpacking first? So
Brandon Handley 36:32
does it make sense? It does make sense, right? I’ve got two, two kind of reflections on that. And I’m always reminded, I think it was like, I’m sure somebody said it beforehand. But there’s a jack Canfield line that talks about when when you complain, if you’re not complaining to the person that can do something about it, it’s kind of worthless, right? Like, complain to the person that can help you, you know, do something about it, otherwise, you’re just doing kind of what you said, You’re, you’re you’re feeling this frustration, this anger this, whatever. And, and it’s this feeling that you carry around with you. And there’s really no doesn’t no value in that, right. And then the second part, to me is the way that you’re talking, it’s almost like it’s almost like a knotted muscle, right? When you complain, it’s like a kind of like a nod and muscle that until you’re you know, you can release that you’ve got a whole bunch of energy caught up in that until you release it, then then you can’t really do anything, right. It’s kind of useless.
Dr Barbara 37:30
Yeah, yeah. And And oftentimes, it has happened to me that, again, moving from the inside to the from the outside to the inside, what needs to be released is has nothing to do with what the person is complaining about. Right? It is more a desire to be maybe just a just aligned, I need to be aligned with my value and what I am doing the work I am doing, the way I’m relating to these clients or to the board is not aligned with who I actually feel I am. And so the work is okay. So how do you evolve so that you can be in the same board meeting, and not feeling this conflict, but being aligned within yourself, your purpose, your mission and expressing it to the board, so that you actually help the organization to move forward and you are not always have involved in this inner fight and in this inner conflict. So that that is what often has happened to me in my in my coaching?
Brandon Handley 38:37
Yeah, for sure. Whatever, whatever that person is focused on is really keeping them from being their best, right? I mean, that’s just kind of what it boils down to, even if it’s not directly related to, again, you’re you removed this blockage over here, and you can redirect all that energy into the thing that you’re really trying to do. Yeah. Always look at the even the word coach, right? And I always think of coaxing right, as a coach all, you know, all what you’re trying to do is really coax the best of that person out of them so they can see it for themselves and they can carry it on forward. Would you say that?
Dr Barbara 39:11
I would say that I like to think of myself as a sponsor. When I say quote, I am a sponsor, what does it mean, for me is that I can, I can notice your potential that is an expressed, I can notice your talents, I can notice where you need to be set free. And I help you to I believe in you, I trust you and I help you to actually be free to express fully yourself and to improve who you are and to actually be who you are. That is my job. It is like a gate opener. So but again, opener that trust and belief strongly knew and what you can achieve. So it is really from where I stand is a position where you Hold a space for the other person to express fully. And not only that, but you can see further than the person itself himself or herself, you can help them see what they what they are not seeing. And you can at least you can point them towards something that they are not noticing about themselves that can that is a talent that is a resource. And so that they can actually become aware and leverage that and integrate that in, in who they are and the way they conduct themselves. So coaching, as sponsoring really knew your talents, your resources, your potentials, and what you can be and achieve.
Brandon Handley 40:43
Do you make them t shirts, like little sponsor t shirts? I feel like you should I feel like you should sponsor by sponsor. Yeah, that could be a good idea. It’d be fun one right for for at least client gifts frayed. whatever it is they’re into. I like the idea of being a sponsor. And I think that definitely resonates. And I like the approach there. So we’re at this kind of point, right? That, unless there’s anything else that you feel like you want to cover, I’m going to go ahead and ask a couple questions for you. Please go ahead. Right, right. So I got, like I said, spiritual speed dating right at the back end of this, you know, so most of the people that are tuning in there, they’re seekers, they’re, they’re looking for that just exactly that, how can they express what’s inside of them outside authentically in alignment, just want a lot of ways that you’ve been speaking about. So some ways that they may be able to figure it out is by these questions? is Barbara right for you? So let’s see his current religion serving its purpose, Barbara.
Dr Barbara 41:47
When we say religion, what are we thinking about? monetary stick religion? So the big one, the top three, the top three, okay, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam? are they serving their purpose? I think that there are many people that find in religion, a great tool for them to live a better life feel better, and be a better human being. So I think for many people they do. I believe that religions could do a little bit better, as we all good in terms of speed up a little bit, their evolution, in order to embrace some challenges that today are here and maybe when the religions were born, they were not there. But I would say that overall, they keep been very useful, especially for people that have based their lives on religions.
Brandon Handley 42:51
Like that was one or you feel like they could evolve faster as
Dr Barbara 42:55
well, for example, and I’m thinking about Chris Catholicism in particular, because that’s where I come from, I believe that there is a role that women are is are not given and are not taken, that I think the church need to open up to
Brandon Handley 43:15
understand a female Pope.
Dr Barbara 43:18
I don’t know if I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know if I would go to the pope immediately, because it probably will take a little bit and but before getting to the Pope, but yeah, I I think that there are roles within the Catholic Church that that needs women more than men. Maybe before for 24 2000 years, there have been always men in those positions. So I think that women, the church would benefit from a president of more women.
Brandon Handley 43:55
Yeah, I think that’s fair. I think that’s fair. As you know, so this is your study space, right? This is this to me, it’s me. This is in in your wheelhouse. What is the greatest quality humans possess?
Dr Barbara 44:10
The greatest quality humans possess? Wow, we have many. I would say that maybe the curiosity. Curiosity is is a I don’t know if it is the greatest but it is a great quality that now we need, especially because we are faced with so much diversity. And so unless we are curious to understand and learn about diversity, we are not moving forward as a community, a global community. So maybe a quality that I think is important that it is great right now is curiosity.
Brandon Handley 44:51
So sounds like Yes, that sounds like that’s something that can be cultivated a little bit more and be something that Most humans could apply more often, and we could improve. Absolutely. That’s awesome. So listen, Dr. Barbara, I’ve enjoyed this. Thanks for coming on today. Where should people, first of all, like, who would you say is your ideal client? Like, let’s say somebody listening in today, you know, who do you think should be reaching out to you?
Dr Barbara 45:21
I think it are people that went through important challenges in their life, burn it in their personal life in it in their professional life, and they feel that they have reached their a glass ceiling. And they cannot see what’s possible next, and how to reach the next level and how to break through and tap into more resources that they have. So when they are in that point, then they call me because I partner with them. And I really accompany them to reach their full potential and create their purpose, find their purpose, maybe they have, they are already successful, they have achieved a lot. And they ask them so Okay, so now what have money, I have a status, I have a family. And maybe I’m 45. So what’s what’s, what’s next? What is next? So that’s when I when I come in?
Brandon Handley 46:18
That’s when they get sponsored by Barbara. So yeah, they get a T shirt, they get a T shirt. And then I like that too, that you’re saying more resources. And but when you’re saying more resources, it sounds to me like you’re saying these innate resources that you help them to discover yes and apply for themselves. That’s fantastic.
Dr Barbara 46:38
Which by the way, they are inner resources, then then they they turn out to become outer resources, because when they inner resources are ignited, then we find ways to get outside resources Russian,
Brandon Handley 46:51
right, like full on expression, you know? Where should we send people to come find out more about you and work and get they get your book.
Dr Barbara 47:02
My book, they can get it on amazon.com both in Kindle and paperback version. And I think the easiest way to find me is on LinkedIn. I am quite active on LinkedIn recently. And also on my website, which is just my name, www dot Barbara, Gala. pets.com. Nobody will remember bad or remember.
Brandon Handley 47:25
I will have we’ll have we’ll have a link there at least and so they won’t have to remember it. That’s what the internet’s for. Short term memory. Barbara, thank you so much for showing up today. I appreciate the conversation. love what you’re doing. I love your story, kind of how you got there, the journey and how you are expressing yourself. So thank you.
Dr Barbara 47:45
Thank you so much for having me here. Brandon. It was really, really a great honor to have this conversation with you. So thank you so much.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai