I had the opportunity to speak with Kat Kim recently… we had a blast! Be sure to listen in to hear all about her spiritual journey!
From her about page:
I serve the Spiritual Nonconformist, the misfit, the misunderstood.
In other words, the changemaker.
For over ten years I’ve applied what I know about behavioral change and spiritual transformation to help my clients create radical, nonconformist change in their lives.
My approach is based on Hermetic Philosophy, New Thought teachings, and the wisdom passed down through the ages by Buddha, Jesus Christ, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
(And Chomsky. Can’t forget Chomsky.)
connect with Kat over at https://www.katkim.com/
Brandon Handley 0:00
54321 Hey there spiritual dope. Brandon Handley, your hosts here with cat cam and I’m gonna flip it for the new year. Normally I introduced but, you know, cat cam once you go ahead and give the audience a little feel for what you’re all about.
Kat Kim 0:18
Okay? Hello, everyone. I am a former crack addict and drug dealer facing three years in state prison turned a spiritual teacher leadership coach, I founded a school called the School of divine confidence. I am the person that will help you overcome your fears, blocks and shame. So you can step into that best version of yourself where you can truly make a difference.
Brandon Handley 0:43
I mean, you opened right up with it. I love that. So we’ll definitely get into it. So the way I like to start this off with to say like, you know, universe power, creative source, all that stuff speaks through us right and and our message is received to somebody out there in the audience today, it can only come through this medium. What is your message today?
Kat Kim 1:03
My message today is that each and every one of us has this indescribable, of limitless power that we have access to. And most of us give up, give that power away. Most of us give that power away to the outside world of circumstances and physical things and elections and all the madness. You know, pandemics out there. But I have defined divine confidence to be an having an unshakable faith and knowing who you are, and what you’re here to do, regardless of what’s going on in the world outside of you. And I really, truly believe that we all have access to that divine confidence.
Brandon Handley 1:48
100% Amen. Amen. I love I love to like the clear delineation of you have access to it. Right? Everybody’s got access to it. It is fairly innate. Right? But it’s like, you still it’s you just don’t know it until you access it. Right? Like, holy shit. This has been here the whole time. Yeah. And I love that you’ve got this Divinity School. Like I said, we have a lot in common. I too have a course on divinity. Right? Like, it’s just it’s straight up just called the divine framework. But why don’t you give me a little bit of what your divinity school teaches? You know, kind of how you landed on it, that kind of thing. Yeah,
Kat Kim 2:29
I Well, can I start with where I began?
Unknown Speaker 2:33
This would you man.
Kat Kim 2:36
Thank you. There’s a backstory to this. When I was six years old, my mother began feeding me diet pills. And this was kind of like the lifelong like the beginning of a lifelong struggle of low self confidence, horrible body image, no self worth, I was barely tall enough one day to, you know, put my hands on the kitchen counter. And I remember one day looking up at her. And she was cutting something at the kitchen, on the board on the cutting board. And I asked her, What are you doing? And she said, Well, these are diet pills. And these are for adults. And since you’re only a child, you only need to eat half of them. So she she continued to cut them. And I did not question her. I did not think there was something wrong with it. I just fully accepted in that moment that there was something wrong with me and my body and that I needed something outside of me in order to be okay. So I began to feel absolutely ugly, fat, unwanted and unworthy. All by the time I was in second grade, really. And my also grew up in a very emotionally and physically abusive environment. And I started rebelling at a really young age, I started doing started drinking and smoking at 13 doing hardcore drugs at 16. And by the time I was 18, I was dealing cocaine. And I was transporting it from Washington State to California. on the plane, this is pre 911 it was really easy to do this and not that I’m giving you guys ways to do it. But the way I did it was I just snuck the drugs inside of maxi pads. So it’ll be weird if
Brandon Handley 4:18
you did that. I pulled it off. But I mean, listen with these days and ages. I’d be like I identify as and and you know who’s gonna try and you know, you can’t you can’t fight that. Yeah, yeah.
Kat Kim 4:30
So, one day I got caught. I was arrested. I was handcuffed in Oakland, California, of all places. Oakland at that time was notorious for its high rates of homicides and violent crimes. Now, I was right there in the middle of that. And I was absolutely fearless. But it wasn’t the type of fearlessness that comes from courage. The root word of courage is courage, which is the heart. It didn’t come from there. It came from a place of having absolutely no reason. Guard from my life, my future my health, my body, I didn’t care. I didn’t give a damn what happened to me I was on the fast track of self destruction, I had no confidence, no self worth. And so while I was in jail, I was like, I want to network while I’m here, I’m in Oakland, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, you know, make some deals while I can. So
Brandon Handley 5:19
that’s like the central hub, right? All the people, you finally made it when you get to Oakland, right? You’re like, Hey, you know, I’m here, I made it. Home spa.
Kat Kim 5:32
Never thought of it that way. When it’s so true. I was like, I’m here in Oakland, I’m gonna make I’m gonna make the most of it as I can. So even while I was there, facing three years in state prison, I was like, I’m just going to try to make some drug deals while I’m here while I was here. While I was there. I pled guilty. During that time, I went to the part of my whole thing they give you know, they made me go to rehab for two years. Long story short, I cleaned up the drugs. But this feeling of not being good enough, having no self worth, no self value, stayed with me. It didn’t go anywhere. It was part of who I was. And so I started getting involved in really toxic relationships with men that were emotionally abusive. This entire time. Brandon, I hated the way I looked, I walked around like I was the meanest, nastiest bitch alive. And of course, because I believe that to be true about myself, I attracted everything into my life that validated those beliefs. And it really wasn’t until many years after getting out of jail cleaning up that I was walking down my apartment hallway one day, at that time, I was very, very depressed could barely even move. I remember one day I was trying to like lift my body off of the couch. And I couldn’t because it was like this dark energy pushing me down. Somehow, that particular day, I managed to get up, I was going somewhere I don’t even know where. And I was walking down my apartment hallway to my elevator. And there’s this mirror that hangs on the wall, top to like ceiling to floor, huge mirror. And walking down, I look up and I caught a glimpse of somebody standing in the hallway. And I see her in the mirror. And she’s just kind of really uncapped, and she’s wearing big baggy clothes, Her face is really swollen and puffy. And even while I was wallowing in my own toxicity at that time, I was depressed and, you know, essentially just hating life. I remember just looking at her and thinking, Oh, my God, at least I’m not that bad. And there was something about her, it wasn’t even just how she looked, it was this deep, dark energy that was coming from her that made me feel like my goodness, at least I haven’t gotten that far. And it hit me like a ton of bricks, there was nobody else in that hallway. There was nobody there. It was me, I had become so disconnected with who I wanted to be as a woman who I was being called to be and who I was being that I didn’t even recognize myself when I saw myself in the mirror. And finally, that was my wake up call. And this is you know, sounds overly dramatic. But this is literally how it happened. I walked into the elevator. And now you know, I’m facing that wall with the mirror so I can see myself in the mirror. And the elevator doors are closing in on me like this. And I said, This is the moment that I’m going to do whatever it takes to become the person that I want it to be.
Brandon Handley 8:25
No, I love that. Right? Like, even even if, even if, like you know, it sounds dramatic. That’s your moment that you chose. Right? That was your, your Pinnacle point, right? I think that. I think that when you recognize that too, as you as you’re going through it, you’re like, no, this is my shit. And this is what I’m gonna do. And here’s how I’m gonna do it. I don’t know how it’s gonna work out. I just know that I’m stepping into it, and I don’t fuck it. That’s it. Right. I’m done. I’m a high school dropout left that part out. And then the other part was, was when you went in. It’s not San Quentin, but I just wanna say San Quentin. Brooklyn, what do you want to Oakland? Was that from the bus ride after after? When you turn yourself in? Or was that something else? Did you know about that story? Oh, man. I poked around. I did.
Kat Kim 9:24
Yeah, that was that. Was that that? Was that? That one moment? Yeah.
Brandon Handley 9:29
Okay, so so i think i think that’s really key here. Because you are at like, this kind of desperate moment. But you’re also still very humane. Right? Like, so. For those of you that don’t know, you know, she got a bus driver and shovel for sniffing some coke on the side of the side of the road. Cops knock on their they bust the cop who’s a black guy. She’s Asian. And like, even in that time, you’re like, you’re like, Hey, I’m Asian. These biases should still look a mess out there. And you go in and you’re like, hey, by the way, this is my drugs. He had nothing to do with it. So you you kept him from getting into jail and you put yourself in a position and my guess is like, again, you’re kind of like, you’re juxtapose them between being this badass and being like, Well, I’m not gonna let that guy go and for me,
Kat Kim 10:14
yeah, it was it was a trip. So this was Yep. I got off the plane when one day. I had my drugs in tow. Pete feathers?
Brandon Handley 10:26
How much were you? How much were you? carting around? Just out of curiosity?
Kat Kim 10:29
Oh, um, I don’t even remember. But I remember at one point, I had a kilo, which is
Brandon Handley 10:35
a lot more than a little bit. Yeah,
Kat Kim 10:36
yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. I didn’t get caught with that kilos, though. That was,
Brandon Handley 10:42
that would have been longer than three. Yeah.
Kat Kim 10:44
It was longer. But that one day, I got off the airplane. got onto the shuttle bus. And you know, what, uh, what’s the I always fuck these words up? Like, these American idioms for birds of a feather flock together? Right? That’s, that’s it? Okay. Sure. Somehow, I ended up being the last person being dropped off. I’m sitting in the front with the driver. We somehow started. I mean, who starts talking about drugs? Well to druggies. They get together
Brandon Handley 11:14
Kat Kim 11:14
Yeah, somehow it just came up and and I was like, Oh, yeah, I have some cocaine. He was like, Oh, really. So he pulls over the the shuttle bus into the Oakland Hills. And I proceed to pull some cocaine out. He puts it into a piece of paper. He doesn’t really weird. I’ve never seen anyone smoke. Or, you know, sniff cocaine this way. It was just bizarre. Anyway, whatever, you know, you do you. So he, he pulls it out, he does it. And then right at that moment, there’s a flashlight that’s beaming in in the window. And it was two cops. Because very strange. There’s a random bus in the Hollywood Hills just parked there. And he, he literally got red caught red handed, it was in his hands, and he threw it on the floor. The cops pulled him out. And they arrested him. They told me to sit on, you know, outside on this rock. And I’m sitting there and I’m watching this whole thing unfold. And I’m like, Oh, my God, like, I’m gonna get away with this. And then what I did was I I’m gonna I better, I better walk, you know, so I pulled the rest of the cocaine that I had in my purse. And I saw it behind me in a rock behind the rock. I was like, I’m not gonna get caught with this. And as I’m watching this whole thing, unfold, all of a sudden, I get this, this voice in my head, and then it tells me the truth will set you free. And I’m like, the fuck are you? Seriously? You’re gonna you whoever you are. You’re gonna cut off all the time.
Unknown Speaker 12:46
Right? Yes, exactly. Now’s not the time.
Kat Kim 12:50
And I didn’t believe in God or spirit. I wasn’t even nothing. I wasn’t spiritual. At that time. I haven’t gone I
Brandon Handley 12:57
Kat Kim 12:59
wasn’t high. Okay. Yeah, I was just a girl sitting there getting free, because all of a sudden, it came. And I just knew in that moment, it was God. But I would never admit that and not even tell the story for years and years and years and years. Because I didn’t believe in God, it would be weird for me to say God came and told me this. But at that time, I was just I just knew that God said, The truth will set you free. And I was like, fuck. So I called the two cops over and I told them, Hey, you got to let this guy go. Those drugs are mine. They were flabbergasted. They were like, What are you talking about? And I was like, no, they’re really mine. And, and I mean, the guy was already handcuffed and booked and put in the car. And they didn’t believe me. And so I went back into the behind the rock. I was like, Look, this stuff is mine. And then I was like, and there’s more in my luggage beside the car. And so there were they just were like, we you know, because there was one of the cops was like, You know what, I would let you go. But now there’s another cop with me. I can’t even we have to take you in. And that’s when I had all these like, I realized that kind of the inequity of the whole situation here I was Asian girl and there was, you know, a brown man, I’m like, he would have been fucked up and screwed. And I wasn’t being a martyr or anything like that. But I just knew that this was my journey. It was for me, all of that came to me in that moment that this is my journey. This was for me. It was not for him. And then I had to take ownership of this. So they arrested me and then they read me my Miranda rights, which is a whole nother thing. You you hear people you hear like the cool cop catching the bad guy on TV and movies and you hear the Miranda you know, the rights being read all the time. You know, you have the right to remain silent and whatever. But to hear it being read to us just bizarre. That was the most bizarre part.
Brandon Handley 15:00
I don’t want to say that I’ve heard it before, but I’ve heard it before. It’s very surreal. Right? It’s very
Unknown Speaker 15:05
Unknown Speaker 15:07
for me, thank you. So
Kat Kim 15:09
it was so weird. And they proceeded to book me and take me into, into sanguine. Yeah, yeah, yes. Yeah. So that’s my, that’s my story there. And the funny thing of all that Brendon is like, I just, I wasn’t scared. In the cop car. I just knew that this was a journey made for me. And I wasn’t afraid of what was what was yet to come.
Brandon Handley 15:37
I mean, that’s cool, right? It’s, it’s cool in the sense that, you know, you just you put yourself out there, right? You were probably already still feeling this kind of Fuck it. I’m hard as hell does, you know, I’m Cat Cat Cat can pitch. Right? Right. And you’re like, you’re like, you know, you’re on in and you’re still like, you know, drug dealers, drug dealers, and you’re, you’re having your conversations, you’re still trying to network while you’re in there. Just because I mean, that’s just that’s just the nature of that space, right, the space that you were in. So what I’m curious about those I said, you go on for two years of rehab. That’s a long time for rehab. But what’s interesting is, to me is how you came out of it with a poor self image. Because in my mind, you know, if you if you go through two years of kind of like a rehab program, they should have this kind of building you back up as part of the program. And it doesn’t sound like that was there sounded like the only thing that they were there to do is to make sure that you don’t do drugs again.
Kat Kim 16:43
Yeah, yeah. Well, oh, there’s so many ways I could talk about this thing that you’re bringing up right now. Firstly, do I want to share this part of the story, okay. So I will might as well, as part of the program, you’re supposed to go to Narcotics Anonymous, and you know, you’re supposed to get signed off and all that. And I went to my first meeting, I went to two of them. And, again, I just had this sense of knowing like, this is not for me. And I do not advise anyone to do this. I’m not sharing this so that people will follow this. But I just, I just knew it wasn’t for me. So I didn’t go and I ended up forging the signatures. So I didn’t do that portion of it. And rehab was good for me because I had to not do drugs because I didn’t do pee tests every week. So I I cleaned up the drugs. But that feeling of not being good enough unworthy, unwanted, ugly, that that doesn’t go away, just because you go to rehab, as we all know, I mean, if that if it were that easy, then we wouldn’t have these issues with people in their in their addictions to whether it’s drugs or alcohol or shopping, whatever that is, the sense of not being good enough and unworthy. I took that on at a really young age. That was handed down to me from my parents, generational trauma, that type of thing. And that that is what stuck with me all through these years and into my adult life.
Brandon Handley 18:17
Yeah, you mentioned that as part of your culture too. Right. Like just kind of the same in your own culture. Right. Crane? Is that right?
Kat Kim 18:25
Yeah, yeah. So
Brandon Handley 18:26
just being you know, from generation to generation, there’s a you know, just a different sense of being and kind of what you have to live up to, in your heritage versus American slacker ism.
Unknown Speaker 18:36
Brandon Handley 18:38
Call it what it is, you know, y’all know about slacker ism. But um, so you’re still fighting like that kind of image. And then, you know, we’re working our way up to the Divinity School. But I know that there’s a couple other pieces in between this wants to go ahead and share kind of what happens after rehab, and you’re still fighting with your image.
Kat Kim 18:57
Yeah, so it’s that, you know, I’m getting involved in really toxic relationships with people. There’s just it was so so unhealthy. And it was that moment. Again, it was it wasn’t until that moment, I was walking down my apartment hallway, I saw that version of myself, that was not really me, but that had been living my entire life. And that was that moment where I decided I would do whatever it takes to become the woman that I wanted to be to be. I wanted to be beautiful. I want to be powerful. I wanted to make an impact and transform lives. And I wanted to walk into a room and have people notice me not forget that I ever existed, because that’s who that’s usually what would have happened at that time. And so, I began studying everything under the sun around transformation. I was so upset I became obsessed about transformation. So I became a professional certified image consultant, I began to study like colors and style. Like how do you accentuate the most beautiful part A person’s face and body instead of hiding yourself all the time. And then I became a nationally certified personal trainer to understand what the body goes through to undergo to undergo transformation. And this kept on taking me deeper and deeper. And then I became a transformative life coach, I studied three years about the mindset and you know how our thoughts and our feelings impact our, our behavior and our results. And interestingly, this quest for transformation on the outside kept taking me deeper and deeper inside into the world of spirituality, metaphysics and quantum physics, where I discovered that everything that we are seeking on the outside everything, whether it’s more money, better relationships, better health, all of that, all of that does not exist unless it exists on the inside, in the metaphysical world, beyond the physical within our minds and our hearts. And this is where I discovered that if we want something in the outside world, that thing is not going to happen unless we it’s within us unless we’re embodying that thing. That’s where I discovered where transformation happens the quickest and the easiest, and and then on another level, Brandon, it’s like this. I just because I was so obsessed about like finding the source of all things I discovered. Without knowing it. And without wanting this, I discovered that the source of all things is his spirit, or God, I
Brandon Handley 21:35
was gonna I was gonna try. I was gonna try and garble it out there. And you know, maybe I’ll have to, like beep it out or something. She gave us the answer, but nobody knows.
Unknown Speaker 21:45
Brandon Handley 21:46
yes. Yes. Um, so, yes, yes. And yes. I love it. Right, like so. I’ll let you continue, then I’ll then I’ll then I’ll throw some more stuff at you.
Kat Kim 21:57
Yeah, yeah. Well, and this is what I discovered where divine confidence comes from. It’s an unshakable faith in knowing who you are and what you’re here to do, regardless of what’s going on in the world outside of you. That means regardless of how much money you have, regardless who the President is, regardless of a global pandemic, regardless of your past and your history, and all the mistakes and you know, things that you’ve done, divine confidence is is is this unshakable faith and knowing who you are and what you’re here to do. And this is why this is where I’ve committed myself to helping other women, other people like me go through that same transformation, and that’s where I founded the School of divine confidence. But I primarily work with people kind of like myself, non conformists, misfits, people who’ve always felt like they’ve had one side, one side.
Brandon Handley 22:48
So you, nonconformists, misfits, I was listening to you earlier today. And I thought at first I thought you said nonconformist mystics. I was like, well, that’s cool, too. Like, it could be nonconformist mistakes. I mean, yeah, I would have to say a mystic is a non conformance by like, you know, default, but like, why not like non conformance mistakes as well. So continue?
Kat Kim 23:08
spot on, spot on? Absolutely. Yeah. All of the above? Um, yeah, you know, I work I work with people who’ve always felt like they’ve had to fit in, but they don’t, and they’re always trying to conform, but they can’t. Those are the people that I love. And I actually call my people, misfits and mutants. Because when, when one time one of my clients called me Professor X, and he said, You are like Professor X, you you see what, you know, the the gift in people, but you only work with mutants, like that. So spot on.
Unknown Speaker 23:44
Brandon Handley 23:44
I get it. You know, I think that’s got to be the deal is it’s funny, you know, so my kind of my five words or whatever kind of value prop or whatever, you whatever you want to do with it marketing? Or just my words, right? It’s courage like understanding and and really those people that don’t fit in it’s because like, is it their soul contract that like, I mean, sounds to me, like you never really found like your space, right? But that’s because like, the space that’s been set out there is like a space of conformity. And you’re just like, yeah, it doesn’t fit. It sucks to be sitting on the outside, but in the end, I’m super glad I never fucking made it aim. Yeah, right. Like, I mean, I’m a high school dropout as well. That’s something I don’t think that I’ve shared yet. On this audience had my fair share of drugs in hand and sold my fair share, but I mean, look, you know, it’s also like you say, who we were yesterday, and all those years before it says that’s not like my growth trajectory. I’m like, Yeah, that’s it was fun. I you know, I can never tell you that I didn’t have a good I had a great fucking time. I had a blast. Had some moments of tears and shit that sucked. Yeah, but like, I mean, that just comes with any territory that you run up against. But then you talk about mindset coach like becomes like doing this mindset coaching. Can we say that? Going through your debating course even though we haven’t talked about it yet just based off of kind of how I run mine is like, divinity is a mindset. Right? Once you tap into the divine, you’re like, well, like that’s that’s spirit. That’s source. That’s all encompassing. That’s infinite. Yeah. I think I’m gonna be alright. Yeah, right. Like the whole the whole the whole, like, I’m gonna get my worries over to God even though I like I’m not a Christian. I’m like, I buy into that. Like I’m like, Yes. So the subconscious you talk about it covers 95% of like, all of our stuff, right? Not to mention, pumps, our blood grows our hair. Yeah, there’s all this stuff. I don’t know how that works. Yeah, I’m doing it. And if I can do this, yeah, what else am I capable of? Yeah, right. Yeah. I mean, cuz I’m like, whatever. So um, but everybody has that open to them. So I’m curious. You know, I want to hear you talk. And this just could be me like I hear thinking grow rich. I hear Bob Proctor in the background. Huh? Do I Do you? Are you thinking grow rich and Bob Proctor fan at all? Any of those?
Unknown Speaker 26:25
Brandon Handley 26:27
I hear you say like burning desire and stuff like that, like, you know,
Kat Kim 26:30
oh, you know, that’s I read thinking grow rich. I read that a long time ago. For sure. I know, Bob Proctor? Um,
Brandon Handley 26:40
who are your favorite? Like, who are your big teachers that made you like really? Get it? Like when was like the moment like you? You talked about being like, here’s your my drugs. I’m hiding behind the rock guys. I’m like, Hey, I’m in your head. You’re like, not right now. Not today. But you’re like, I’m not gonna tell anybody that it’s God. When were you able to say you know, comfortably? Hey, I’ve had conversations with God. And that’s all spirit. And what got you there?
Kat Kim 27:04
So that’s good question. Because at that time, I didn’t even believe I didn’t know that.
Brandon Handley 27:09
Yeah. So when when did you When did you say all right? Okay, fine. I’ll let people know. Right? We’re seeing each other. I’m saying, God.
Kat Kim 27:18
When did I come out of that God closet? Right. Yeah. Um, so I began, like really diving into spiritual studies over 10 years ago, you know, yeah, I read, thinking Grow Rich, I read all the books, I read all the books, you know, law of attraction, and Esther Hicks and all that. But I started to really, really dive even deeper about five years ago, there’s been a while maybe we’ll save this for another podcast episode. But there was another thing, a big huge ship that just shit hit the fan in my life on another level, during that time. And I literally was brought to the ground on my knees. at a certain time in my life, when I knew I was absolutely powerless. And I had nothing. There was nothing I can do. And the only thing I could do was finally just like, like you said earlier, actually, you hit the nail on the head, like surrender. I the only thing I can do right now is to surrender to this thing. I don’t know if you’re out there, God, but this is you know, it’s so fucked up right now. It’s almost funny. Here. Just take it it was
Brandon Handley 28:24
this, right? Yeah,
Kat Kim 28:24
it was almost like that it got to that point where it was. There’s almost like a freedom to it. I didn’t know whether it was gonna work or not. But I think that was actually the key. I was like, yeah, it can’t get any worse than this.
Unknown Speaker 28:39
Brandon Handley 28:41
it didn’t turn out that way. For you. That’s good. Right? You know, the deal is, though, is like you you handed it over without expectations, right? You handed it over, and you’re like, you know what, I absolutely surrender. I’m not doing such a good job with this by myself. Right? And I’d like to say like, you know, I definitely want to talk more about your school divinity. But like, you know, once you kind of, you know, we act as humans before, before we access this source energy in this space, right? We act as human and we deal with all these worldly things, right? And you hear all the time again, not like a super huge Bible guy, but like, you know, you can’t do it through worldly means you like, and then you’re like, but I could do it through spiritual means. Yeah, right. I could do it through like metaphysical means. And then you also talked about like, you know, kind of this level of success, you’ve got to have a level of belief that you can actually achieve that and well, if I look at my history of just Brandon and what have I achieved by myself, right? Maybe not all that I want to achieve I can do by myself. So if I just go ahead and I take in a little bit of God a little bit of divinity and then what am i capable of right like what what can we you know, we can go down like you know, the The Wizard of Oz, right, like arm and arm like skipping down the yellow brick road. Right, like, then we’re done. We’re a trio and then there’s like a time team of us doing something versus Brandon, the human and his worldly ways?
Kat Kim 30:04
Well, yeah, so check this out this Oh, this is I remember now clearly what the turning point for me when I went from spiritual mainstream law of attraction to
Unknown Speaker 30:15
Yes, yeah next level
Kat Kim 30:17
to the next level. One of the things that that one of the handful of things that was happening for me at that time was my niece got arrested for the same crime. on another level like she updated me. I was like, Oh, look at you. Same drugs, more of it more serious. And almost in the same area of Northern California. And her bail was $1 million. And I just became frantic. I was like, Oh, my God, I have to get her out of there. I don’t know what to do. The bill was at $1 million. It was a very, very difficult time for me. Like I said, though, that was just one of the things. There was a couple other things that was happening. I’ll just say it my dad, I discovered my dad had a gambling addiction. And we were $250,000 in debt. So there was like things happening.
Brandon Handley 31:10
So you so you called us just so it sounds like Yeah. And then and then I mean, I don’t mean I don’t mean to like call it out. But again, with with their culture to compounding that.
Kat Kim 31:21
Yeah, exactly. Hush, Hush. Nobody talks about it, don’t anybody. I mean, so much shame wrapped in all of these things. And I got to the point, like I said, where I was like, I don’t, I can’t, there’s nothing I can do. I can’t stop my father from gambling. There’s nothing I can do about my knees. I don’t have a million fucking dollars, by the way. Right? So I went to that part. Yeah, I went to my spiritual center, I started going to a spiritual center at that time, almost as everyday, as much as I could, because I needed some sort of sanctuary. And they had a prayer box. And the spiritual leader at that time said, if you need a prayer, you know, put remote Don’t forget, don’t forget to put a prayer in the prayer box, I thought was bullshit. I walked by it. It wouldn’t hurt. I have nothing else to do except for wallow in my pity and my anger right now. So I wrote on a little tiny piece of paper. I need a million dollars or I wrote something like my nieces. And you know, her bail is $1 million. I need help. Please pray for me. I don’t know what to do. I wrapped it up and put it in the prayer box. Lo and behold, that $1 million bail, it went down to 500,000. And then they wanted me to appear in court. I went to court with my brother, my brother’s daughter. And while we were at court, they brought that $1,500,000 to 020.
Brandon Handley 32:53
That’s awesome, right like me. So that’s it. That’s and and so were you at a level where you could look at it that way yet.
Kat Kim 33:01
I was beginning to see. What was that? If that’s not an answered prayer, I don’t know what what is. And this will happen in a very short amount of time. It wasn’t like I put this prayer and the prayer box. And then a year later, it was like I put the prayer in there. And then six weeks later, boom, that $1 million went to zero. And of course, who knows what I don’t know the legalities of all of whatever. But in my mind, it was that the burden of $1 million that was lifted from my shoulders. And I was like
Brandon Handley 33:38
you said I think that’s the thing too, right? Like, it doesn’t matter what it looks like from the outside. That’s been your experience. And you know what, like, I mean for somebody to be like, well, that’s coincidence. Oh, that’s just the way the law works. You’d be like, Yeah, but I put a prayer and a prayer box. Maybe you didn’t catch that. Right. And so I think I think that’s the other thing that I want to chat with you a little bit about too, right? Because again, so let’s see high school dropout drugs, bad choices, bad choices.
Unknown Speaker 34:08
Brandon Handley 34:11
you know, I ended up having my family and had a little epiphany in the middle there as us come along but before I came into this podcast and this base literally just in this past year I was doing something called the prosperity practice right like based off it based off the Esther Hicks game right have $100 in your pocket and yada yada and it was I was very very seldom what they want give them what they need, right like because everybody everybody you talk about this I want to talk about to the the spiritual consumerism right but like everybody just wants like, you know, everybody wants all the stuff but like they don’t want the rest of the shit that goes with it. I don’t I still I’d love to hear more on that but I was like, you know what I was like I’m hiding behind the saying and it’s much more than just like this law of attraction and even when I was doing it, mine was more along the lines of Like neville goddard and like some of these other people, right, like, yeah. And then I just fucking, I just, I just let it go. I was like, you know what I was like, I was like this, it’s all spiritual. To me. It’s all like, that’s what it is. And I’m gonna lead with spirituality, and see where it goes. And ever since I did it, like it’s just blown up. I mean, nobody reached out to me when I was in prosperity practice, you’ve reached out to me, people reach out to me, like left and right to be on spiritual dope. And it’s just like, so it’s just like, it’s like, it’s fucking crazy, right? Because now, like, when you’re like, in alignment with spirit and your purpose, and yourself then just starts to happen. And you’re like, Well,
Kat Kim 35:38
Brandon Handley 35:39
where’s this coming from? Right? That was the other piece I want to ask you to was like, um, you know, when you talk about your, your divinity school, right and and getting into is there is there a piece in there where it’s, you’ve got the self confidence, and all that is there a piece in there where you delve into purpose as well?
Kat Kim 35:59
Oh, 100%, it’s all it’s all purpose. It’s all purpose. And that’s part of the framework where I help people, I just want to teach give my students the skills to know how to reach their own divine confidence at any given moment at any given time. And I think that’s the, you know, the false belief that our purpose is something is a one time thing. And that it’s something that we, you know, our purpose is going to be this thing that we do for the rest of our life. And, and that’s actually not the case. That’s, that’s the opposite of spirituality. Spirituality is being in the moment and the here and the now and being present to the gifts and what’s whatever is wrong with you. In this moment, as we know, there’s no, there’s no, if you’re regretting the past and your future tripping, then you’ve, you’ve missed the point of this present moment. So, you know, part of one of the things that I teach is that your purpose is not in the future. It’s right here, it’s right now. And if you can, if you can, if you know how to ground into that and become present to that, what else do you need, and just like you shared, like, once you, you know, align with that, then everything unfolds naturally and easily. And that’s what I think a lot of people, most people have a hard time grasping. It’s that surrendering and letting go of having your their hands in all the details and having to know how everything is going to happen with us, because how it looks on the outside. Right, exactly.
Brandon Handley 37:26
So so what you see on the outside, you see other people doing on the outside? That’s, you know, I can use some examples, like when you know, what, are still working sales. When I see historically, like people like acting frantically, it’s always going to be frantic for that person, right? Like, yeah, that person is always on fire, this person is always this way, this is always going to happen for that person. Because we talked you talked about earlier, like, you know, your level of belief is, oh, I have to do it this way. This is the way I’ve had success before. If I don’t metal the whole time, then it’s just not gonna happen for me. Right. But like, it doesn’t have to be you. Yeah, as a matter of fact, it’s not you. It’s maybe maybe it’s initiated through you, but like, you work with a team, most likely of other people. Yeah, you don’t have to, you know, be on them. But again, you’re, if you’re tapped into your purpose, and you’re live with that, and you’re, you’re, you’re you’re rolling with Jesus, or whatever, you know, whatever you’re doing, right, and you’re tapped in the source, and you can kind of step back for a second and let it like, gently unfold and it will. Yeah, but try telling somebody that. Yeah,
Kat Kim 38:36
well, that’s part of, you know, that’s part of kind of this toxic masculinity energy that we’ve all been kind of fed into what I mean by that there’s the masculine, and there’s the feminine, and they’re both equally beautiful and powerful, right? But when the masculine energy is about, like, you know, is very linear. It’s taking action, it’s finding something and moving towards it. Regardless, the feminine energy is about allowing, it’s about letting it’s about being right. The masculine energy is about volition. So you see something, you go for it. So in this world right now, we that’s it’s become toxic, where we’re meaning we’ve taken everything, and we’ve turned it into something that we have to set a goal and we have to make it happen, regardless of who gets harmed in the way
Brandon Handley 39:26
out of success. You’re not a success if you set a goal and achieve it. Right.
Kat Kim 39:32
Exactly, exactly. So now we’ve we’ve all been conditioned to believe that that’s the only way and the one way that we achieve success that we have to set that goal, we have to go for it. We have to power through it, just do it. I mean, we see it all over in marketing, but we see this now in our government, we see this in extractive capitalism, we see this, you know, and what I mean by extractive capitalism going for, like reaching, you know, revenue goals, regardless of who gets harmed in the way we go. So the natural resources that we demolish along the way, so it’s this, it’s not a person, it’s not a it’s not a political party. It’s just the collective energy that we’ve all kind of we’ve all been part of, and we’ve all molded into. And spirituality has also been kind of swept into that as well. And that’s where I came to see that. Even spirituality can be toxic when it’s just about what do I want to manifest? How much money in the big house and all of that? And what what, how am I going to think positive, and bypass all the issues that come along with this type of lifestyle, not going to talk about that, but I just want to create the life that I want. And I’m going to use spirituality to do it. And now I’m spiritual.
Brandon Handley 40:49
And that’s true, right. But I mean, again, like there’s, it’s funny, my wife and I were talking earlier, like there’s a different level two, where it sounds like you’ve achieved right, like you’ve gone through, you know, you’ve gone through that phase, right? Like, it sounds like you went through that phase with like, you know, Esther Hicks and law of attraction, right? And But you came out on like, the other end of it, right? Where we’re sure it’s okay to want. But the idea to, you know, want a want without attachment to the outcome, right? Like, yeah, I’d love this to happen, right? This would be great. I’m gonna go work towards it. But I’m totally cool. If it doesn’t turn out the way I envisioned it. Right, it could and then maybe accepting that outcome, right, like the outcome they come in, came out pretty cool. Right? Or just being like, Alright, we’re gonna try a different way. Right. But not getting caught up in that?
Kat Kim 41:43
Yeah. Well, that’s what I was gonna say. But the problem is, is most people are attached, doesn’t
Brandon Handley 41:47
it? Yeah. 100% Yeah, yeah. But you know, that’s, that’s the same thing as even even creating a goal, the challenge because people are like, they’re afraid to share what they even want, even writing it on paper to themselves, because they’ve always been taught, Hey, you got enough, you should be happy. You’re, you know, even some of your words, right? You should be lucky, you got what you got. Right? Like, and, and, and that kind of thing. So. So now it’s like, but I want a little bit more, but everybody says I can’t?
Kat Kim 42:16
Yeah, well, it’s totally mixed messages. There’s that part where you should be happy with what you have. And then there’s the the overarching message that we receive from all the marketing out there and the consumer culture that actually, you need to do more and more and more and more and more and more, so that we get mixed messages. And I think the key here, Brandon, is that, again, design confidence means taking your focus away from that outside world, this is the practice of spirituality, taking your focus away from the outside world going inwards, and really digging in very deep into and finding out what actually do you want in your heart of heart? What is your heart’s desire. And that’s where the connection to your real source and to your true calling actually is right there. And that’s the thing that’s hard for people to do is to disconnect from social media, seeing all these Instagram posts of people who have all the money and all the cool pictures, and really going into to find out what actually Are you being called into? What is your true true, true good in this moment?
Brandon Handley 43:22
So how do you find yours? By
Kat Kim 43:24
It’s it’s a constant process. It’s like,
Brandon Handley 43:29
were you listening, Brandon?
Unknown Speaker 43:30
Yeah, hello. Oops.
Kat Kim 43:35
Um, but something important about that, let me answer this is like, I have to find it again. And again, and again. Because I’m, I am, I am part of that culture as well. I have, you know, I’m on social media, I see all the things I’m not free from that. I want all the money’s, okay, I want all the things,
Brandon Handley 43:53
all the things, right,
Kat Kim 43:54
I want all of it. I want all of it. And I see people who have more than me, and I’m like, fucking a, why don’t I have that? And then it’s that reminder. Well, let’s, let’s go back in, you know, and that’s that process of reclaiming my personal power, and my divinity. And that process is about letting go of that attach to the
Unknown Speaker 44:13
Brandon Handley 44:14
So what is your What is your process and you know, to attach to divinity, right, like, how do you help somebody uncover that for themselves?
Kat Kim 44:21
Yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s like, um, you know, the questions that I asked, well, there’s, there’s first I asked you, you know, like, first you have to get really clear on what what’s not working in your life? You know, what are your biggest challenges? What are you Where do you suffer the most? What’s the thing that you keep coming up against? Most people are trying to run away from that, but I want to say no, that’s actually here to show you. If this is not the thing you want, what is the thing you want? What? So that’s how I guide people if this is what you don’t want. Let’s use that to point us in The direction of what you actually want. But once you figure out what you want, it’s not the tangible thing of it. It’s the essence of it. So for example, if you want a big home, and you want to be able to come home and take care of your family, and you want your own space, okay, that’s great. That’s the physical representation of it. But what is the essence of that thing?
Unknown Speaker 45:23
For you, like,
Brandon Handley 45:24
why is that? What what what what does that represent to that person? Is that what you’re saying?
Kat Kim 45:29
Yeah, what is the essence of the physical, tangible thing that we want, when we can get to the essence of it? So for example, if we’re getting to the essence of that big house, maybe it’s connection with your family, maybe it’s family, that is the thing that you’re actually craving. That’s that inward journey, we’re so focused on the thing and not the essence of it. Looking at it, the essence of it, that’s the calling that’s God, that’s the way God is showing up for you in the the essence of it, know how to process it. Outside of the tangible.
Brandon Handley 45:58
Yeah, even even on the outside, even, even during Look, I’m not that deep into my journey, right? Like, I think I’m like, three years in, but I took the accelerated course. The meditation, you know, has been something big for me. And usually when I do like, meditation, I’m big fan, I love headspace. And he’s always like, you know, go to like, the, you know, make that light edges of, you know, how far can you expand it? I’m like, as the universe bro, let’s go, right, like, you know, right outside and riding that edge, right? Because that’s where the creation is, right? Like this, in my mind anyways, but then even just today are inside is just as infinite as the outside, right? Like, you know, random epiphanies are inside. But that’s what it was, like, you know, I spent a little bit of time digging around inside and meditating and reflecting on the inside. But if you think about it, it’s just as infinite as all the rest of the universe. And so I spent some time there.
Kat Kim 47:01
Yeah. And if you think about it, it’s like, all of all of God or spirit, whatever name you have for it. All of God is in you just as much as it is in the universe. All of God is in the tip of this pen that I’m showing you right now, as it is, is a new God doesn’t get split around. And in, you know, allocate 10% here
Brandon Handley 47:26
20% here, right? It’s like the sunshine, right? Like, they’re the sun’s out there. He’s not like, everybody can go step out and get as much sun as you can today. Right? Like, I mean, it’s, it’s, there’s no allocation to it outside, like no shade, whatever. But I mean, essentially, like, everybody gets the same amount of sun. It’s like infinite, there’s more than we can use and that kind of thing. Just the same as like you’re saying, hey, gods, like, there’s there’s more than you can use feel?
Kat Kim 47:49
More than more than enough, more than enough. Yeah.
Brandon Handley 47:54
So that’s fun, right? What do you want to go What’s next?
Kat Kim 48:01
Oh, well, hmm. You know, I think the interesting part of all this is yet like, you know, I was on this spiritual journey, manifesting things teaching people how to manifest and then and then it was like, I went to this kind of dark night of the soul again on I do that a lot. Dammit.
I need to cut those down.
Brandon Handley 48:24
Here’s the thing. I don’t know that I’ve had any, you know, so like, I’m almost jealous, but I’m not. Like I was like, dark night of the soul. But I’m like, I’m not gonna pass. I’m cool.
Kat Kim 48:36
No, they suck. But yeah, you should just pass but I um, you know, this is now I started going to my spiritual center, I did the prayer and the prayer box got obsessed with this thing called God and prayer.
Brandon Handley 48:52
What kind of spiritual center was it by the way,
Kat Kim 48:54
it’s called science of mind the centers for spiritual living. It’s a philosophy of thought that really combines it goes into the golden thread of all spiritual traditions and essentially boils it down to that we are all one and we all come from one source. And it’s it wasn’t recognized it didn’t it wasn’t trying to be a religion, but it became a religion is now officially recognized as a religion as of maybe five years ago or so. And I started just really going deeply its study of mysticism, essentially. And I became licensed as a spiritual practitioner took me three, three years to do that. And I learned about our connection to source and you know, the power of prayer and I read all these cool books. It was just like, it was like, law of attraction on crack.
Brandon Handley 49:48
Yes. It’s like it’s a it’s a you know, it’s more than a force multiplier, right. Like it’s and and I love you know, I love that you bring up drugs right? Because Here’s the deal to like, how would you define the difference between you know, being cracked out or high versus having a spiritual high?
Kat Kim 50:15
Unknown Speaker 50:18
I don’t know. I mean, one of
Unknown Speaker 50:19
Kat Kim 50:20
one’s gonna fuck you up physically. I mean, as your I mean, the reason I’m, I’m trying to go back to my days of smoking crack and all that I’m like, the only thing that I can you’re kind of giving me like, what do you call it when you have like a craving? I’m having a moment where I’m like, oh, that would be really nice if I could smoke.
Brandon Handley 50:44
Right there. I mean, crack wasn’t my thing. But like, yeah, definitely, like, I’m always like, you know, I did, did the party scene right back in the day, like the rays and dance and all that stuff. And I’m always like, Man, you know, I wouldn’t mind a couple pills and some acid. It’s just gonna dance,
Kat Kim 51:00
acid, ecstasy, cocaine, all of this. Yeah, you’re making me feel like oh, that would be
Brandon Handley 51:13
the question was question was is, you know, when when you think about it, right? And your connection to spirituality versus that same ethereal high that you get when on drugs, right. So you get that you get that kind of high when you’re on drugs. But then there’s the kind of high when you get when you’re in spirit to aka spiritual dope, right? Like right now. That’s where spiritual doubt comes from, like, get your head in spiritual dope, because like, you can have this. So how would you define the difference between the two?
Kat Kim 51:39
Really good question. Um, so here are the here the similarities that I am that I’m putting together that I have never really thought of it because no one’s asked me that question. And this is really important for people to know who are on a spiritual journey. So when you do drugs, as you know, you get high, and then you you have that crash, you crash afterwards. And it really, really sucks depending on the drug that you do and how much it’s I mean, you’re out for days. The same thing is with spiritual highs as well. And I think that’s the thing, a lot of people who are on a spiritual journey, they’re seeking this, the eternal high. Like, once they get there to some sort of Nirvana that they’re gonna stay there. And then when they dip, you know, when they crash, that they’re doing spirituality wrong. And I want to tell you, actually, it’s, it’s still it’s all part of that journey. And that’s the part the dip, you know, the crashing the part where you don’t feel good about yourself, the where the part where you are confused, and there’s darkness. I, I would want people to know, and this is what I teach in the school, divine confidence, too, is that there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with being there. It’s all part of the journey. And trying to go for that peak and that high. And dismissing everything else as not being spiritual and doing it wrong. That’s where that’s where you get fucked up. Because now now you’re trying to constantly seek for that hot, you’re a fucking drug addict. Damn it.
Brandon Handley 53:10
is. And then and then the deal is, though, is this like? Yeah. But I could think of worse habits.
Unknown Speaker 53:19
Brandon Handley 53:22
That so so. But that’s a great call out right. I mean, I probably hadn’t thought about it. And that that in that fashion before the coming down from spirituality, and then feeling like I’m doing it wrong, right, or getting caught up in it. I’d have to think about it right. But I mean, so so you would liken it to at least kind of coming down parts of it right? Where you where you have your highs, and then would you liken it to also like if you have a large spiritual high or an ongoing spiritual high, then there’s going to be a substantial recovery period.
Kat Kim 54:01
I think there’s always going to be highs and lows to everything that that’s the eternal spiritual truth. And in my Buddhism practice, I practice, the passion of meditation, and all of that the personal meditation is centered around this one law, which is the law of impermanence. Meaning that all things arise and all things fall. And if you look out in nature, in the nature, you know, the seasons arise and fall, plants and trees arise and fall. Humans are life. We live we grow, we grow strong, and then we decline and then we die. Everything our emotions arise and fall, our cravings arise and they fall. Where suffering happens is when we get attached to one thing arising and staying there. Or one thing going away falling and staying there. That’s where suffering happens is that we want something to stay the same or change but The truth of all things in all of life and all of nature is that they, they arise and then they fall. So when we can accept that, then we can accept even, okay, let’s, let’s continue to use the analogy of drugs, for example, that craving. That, that, that that sense of like that craving for a drug, you know, or any food, or having sex or anything that drives pleasure. You know, the truth is, that sensation is going to arise and if we allow it, it will fall, it will go away. And if, you know, if we’re really practicing spirituality, if we become aware, then we can just simply observe that craving come up, and we can watch it go away. But, you know, we most people can’t, right, they want to react, they’re reacting to that craving. Well, I
Unknown Speaker 55:51
think I think that to
Brandon Handley 55:54
that, that that takes practice, right, catching yourself, right where you know, you know, making the conscious choice right you know, awareness of all things not just like your spirituality awareness of Oh, that’s a craving Oh, that’s a you know, whatever. I think that’s huge. I like it. what’s what’s hot in your world right now? Like what what are you working on that? You think people should come check out your school? Is there anything else going on? Yeah,
Kat Kim 56:19
I got this school going on right now. It’s called the school divine confidence. But what I’ve just recently launched it’s as this is what be my second episode is uncertain.
Brandon Handley 56:30
sermon. Yeah. I’m
Unknown Speaker 56:31
Unknown Speaker 56:33
Kat Kim 56:34
Yeah, it’s a it’s a weekly uncertain where I share a life story, a spiritual lesson, a rant, a sermon on whatever topic to keep us affirmed and galvanized on our spiritual journey, but it’s really about deconditioning decolonizing undoing, right? And conditioning uncertain. And
Brandon Handley 56:58
I love it. I love it. What what brought that about for you?
Kat Kim 57:03
Going back to what you and I started off with his I just found this passion for talking about spirit and God, but I’m not religious, I’m not religious. So
Brandon Handley 57:13
is your is your God, like, tell us about your God? I’m curious,
Kat Kim 57:16
oh, my God, my God is my god swears all the time. My God is like, very passionate by God is a thing. It’s an experience. And it’s something that I can call upon at any time. It’s not this thing that I have to pray for, or pray to is just this, this, this, it’s an energy, it’s a vibration, I call it God vibration. And, and the more that I access that, that just the easier that all things become. And the more I study it, the mysticism, metaphysics, when I, the more I study, the source of all things, is just mind blowing, to know and to really understand that oh, my God, I am that source of all things. So that’s, that’s what this exploration of uncertain is, is, is a different idea and relationship of God and what we can and what’s possible with that?
Brandon Handley 58:17
That’s great. It’s great. I love that you’re, you know, you’re taking it out, right, you’re bringing it to the people. And and you’re doing it in your own way based off your experiences. So that’s great. Thank you so much. So where am I gonna send people to go kind of hang out with you?
Kat Kim 58:31
Yeah, so I do these. Yeah, I do the weekly uncertain. I do them live every week in my facebook group. It’s called The Confident leadership community. So come on, join me in there. I’ve got free training going on. I’ve got things to offer you. Come say hi, I’d love to see you.
Unknown Speaker 58:47
Sweet. Who’s your ideal client?
Kat Kim 58:50
My ideal client is the person who just knows in their bones that they are being called to do something important, but they feel stuck. They’re uncertain. They feel that the thing that they want to do is impossible. It’s the non conformists, the misfit. It’s the mutant out there.
Brandon Handley 59:07
Somebody who knows they’ve got power but hasn’t figured out how to control it and is afraid to share
Kat Kim 59:12
Yep, yeah, to come out and be who they really are someone who’s always been trying to fit in and they realize oh my god, this isn’t working for me.
Brandon Handley 59:19
Sweet Why, thank you so much for coming on today. Kat can really appreciate
Unknown Speaker 59:24
ya. Thanks for having me, Brandon.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai