Thanks to my wife Meg, I got to connect with another spiritual badass Lindsey E Garner, creator of Standing in Front of Strangers Naked
Tune in to find out how you too can find practical ways to bring spirituality into everything you do!
Transcript below is machine generated
Unknown Speaker 0:00
Brandon Handley 0:01
all right. Bye 4321 Hey there spiritual dope. I’m on today with a special friend Lindsey. she say she was saved Lindsay
Unknown Speaker 0:13
he car? Yeah.
Brandon Handley 0:15
Because I said, it is very important. It’s very important so that people can pull you out of the crowds of Lindsey Gardner. Right. And so Lindsay is actually, you know, pretty good friend of mags for those of you that know me, you know, then you probably know, Megan’s a good chance you already know, Lindsay. And then, um, you know, so let’s talk about Lindsay and her standing naked in front of strangers blog. I’m just gonna do I’m gonna read Liz gonna read your about me here off of your, your blog posts, and then you can make a decision whether or not you want to keep that going forward. Okay. My entire life, I felt like an outsider feeling like I saw things a little different than most of the people around me. A few years ago, I started to be okay with that, I started to strip off the layers that I’ve been carrying around for the decades and show up a whole lot more authentically, I started writing to free up some space in my brain for forward movement. First out, people liked what I had to say. So I kept reading. I don’t feel super tied to labels of mom, wife, soldier, Yogi, although these are all titles I’ve hold held. But I’m so much more connected to the idea that each of us is on a little trip to figure out our own purpose. And this is a part of mine. And I hope you’ll join me so thanks for being on. And thanks for your thanks for agreeing to be on is this how many podcasts Have you been on?
Lindsey Garner 1:38
Zero? Now one?
Brandon Handley 1:40
Oh, this is this is this is your first Well, you’re welcome. Like I told you, before we got on, you know, it’s it’s a it’s cool to get all in because a you’ve learned it, you don’t go up in flames. Right? Like and you can do it like there’s nothing to it. Other than just kind of showing up and being yourself. So welcome.
Lindsey Garner 2:00
Thanks. That’s my favorite thing to do. So, you know, why not?
Brandon Handley 2:04
For the you’ve listened to a couple of podcasts. And thanks for thanks for being a listener. So you probably know how I open these up right with the idea that that we are word vessels for source. God, whatever, whatever you feel like calling it and you’re on today, because you have a message that is going to reach somebody is yours that can only be delivered through you. Right? What is that message today?
Lindsey Garner 2:34
I actually did like a little meditation before we started just to transition from one part of my life into this. And I think what I kept kind of landing on is like, yeah, I’m not I’m not some, like giant published author had a little piece of like imposter syndrome as far as like, I don’t know, what do I have to say? Right? Um, but it kept then it was like, okay, maybe I say one thing, that one person out there takes and is like, yeah, I’m not alone. I’m not feeling these thoughts or, or living in a space that I am totally on my own. And, and so that’s, that’s how I’m coming into this. And I think there’s something to be said, for living that way. Like maybe you smile at someone, you take a second and you smile at someone, you just don’t know the impact that that has in their day. So the more that we just live in a way that really feels like we’re honoring ourselves, the ripples are pretty big.
Brandon Handley 3:41
Nice, I mean, just kind of just owning who you are. And I hate to say just right, so owning who you are, and that that’s actually very powerful. So owning who you are, and owning that you have the power to change someone’s life with your smile.
Lindsey Garner 3:57
Yeah, you do. Like it’s crazy. You really can I, I work, I manage a retail store that’s like my full time gig a lot. And I’ve learned, I never thought it would be in retail and I actually quite like it. But I’ve learned so much the impact that you can have just on on, like, allowing space for someone to actually show up and not being tanned and like how are you doing today? And then them just saying great. Oh, okay, great. Like it’s this script we run through, you know, but rather actually like stopping and saying, No, like, actually, how are you doing today? And it’s okay to not be okay. And you can say that even to somebody selling a yoga pants like it’s fine. And the cool things that have opened up for me through that. I mean, I can’t count them. It’s phenomenal.
Unknown Speaker 4:51
Lindsey Garner 4:55
I think it’s the relinquishment of ego. Yeah, I mean, you never get rid of it right? It’s always there. Well, yeah.
Brandon Handley 5:03
How’s that? So yeah, I mean, how’s that showing up for you? Right? Like, really question of ego through your work at retail. I mean, I guess I would take a step further though, because not everybody that works in retail is able to let go of the script. Right. Not everybody that works in retails okay with relinquishing ego. And I can tell you, I mean, even in years past is working like as a bartender, or, you know, being that customer facing person. And somebody is being an asshole. Like, I am really hesitant to relinquish ego, I’m like, No, you’re being an asshole. Right? You know, so. So walk me through your process of that was clearly before my ascension.
Unknown Speaker 5:55
I’m basically transcended as well. Right? I
Brandon Handley 5:58
mean, that’ll never ever happen again in my life. But the deal is new. So how are you? How are you doing that? Because I think that’s, that’s really the impact of this podcast, right? The impact of this podcast is, yeah, your spiritual. But how are you applying it in your daily life? So that, you know, you’re not? You’re not? I’m physical Lindsey over here. And I’m metaphysical Lindsay over here and understanding like, and together like, you know, you meet in the middle somewhere. So that’s how you meet yourself in the middle.
Lindsey Garner 6:32
Yeah, I think, um, I mean, meditation, meditation is like, changed my whole life. And I can’t pinpoint it to like one style, or one time that I practice, it really is more of an evolving thing. And I can talk more about that. But what it gives me Is this like ability to put a little bubble around myself, right and like, hold in and recognize what’s my emotions? My thoughts my feelings? versus like, what’s Karen from Kansas that comes in my store is pissy we don’t have a size four pair of shorts, like that’s actually has nothing
Brandon Handley 7:14
Kansas should know. First of all. Oh, no. So so it’s funny, though. So you mentioned though, the, the idea of no one set meditation I To me, it would be almost like, Oh, no, your, your, your favorite herbal tea that day? Right. Like, there’s all kinds of like, one day, you’re like, I need I need to calm down. Okay, Karen, meditation, right. And sometimes I need sometimes I need hyped up, you know, Lindsey, sometimes I need, you know, whatever. But it gives sounds like what you’re saying those that gives you the opportunity to go in and create that energetic bubble, right, what you want, who do you want to be in these next few moments? Right, that you get to create that? Is that what you’re saying?
Lindsey Garner 8:03
Answer remember, that, that? We don’t have any idea what that other person’s life looks like? Like, I don’t I have no idea. 99% of the time, I’m gonna guess it has nothing to do with those shorts. Doesn’t it has to do with a lot more, some deep seated stuff, right? And whereas I used to take that on and and, and I mean, I would take these people’s shit home with me. I’m like, What am I doing? Like, why do I care so deeply about someone’s reaction to foster requiring masks in our store or something like that? I am in Florida. So I mean, you know, the week you are out here, it’s like thing, but um, well.
Brandon Handley 8:50
How did you, you know, talk to what’s the process of going from, you know, taking that home every day to learning to let that go. And did that happen overnight? Or did it take you some time?
Lindsey Garner 9:03
No, probably years. Ah, I actually started to because I worked for a company and sells yoga pants. We have a lot of yoga. We do a lot of yoga. It’s how we used to like really market our business. And so I got back it up. I got out of the army. I was in the army for about 12 years. Yeah, the army there was no no real like, like industry down where we moved. My husband got stationed in Florida. This is not where we’ve chosen it came down here. There’s no industry that was related to my background. So I’m like, I tried to stay home. I’m not a stay at home mom. Like I just, I was making my own seasalt I yeah, my husband come home and was like, Hi.
Unknown Speaker 9:46
Unknown Speaker 9:47
it’s me. It’s not to me.
Brandon Handley 9:52
I mean, I would like to know how you made your seesaw.
Lindsey Garner 9:58
The Golf Got it. I No kidding. Yeah, that’s serious.
Unknown Speaker 10:05
You can buy it’s pretty cheap. There’s no fun in that.
Brandon Handley 10:08
I’m sure there’s no fun. There’s no fun in that, right? You can buy all kinds of things. But you’re over here you’d like a teaspoon of salt. You’re like,
Lindsey Garner 10:16
six hours. So great. Everybody gets a little grain
Unknown Speaker 10:22
Brandon Handley 10:23
Why are you using all the salt?
Lindsey Garner 10:27
I’m serious. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 10:28
I get it. I get it. I get it. No,
Lindsey Garner 10:30
I just got a part time job at this store. And it turns out I really liked it. The company was really cool. And it got me into yoga. I’d never done yoga. I had never been around it. I always thought it was like this, like, woo Wee thing. Yeah, so I started that and it was mostly a physical practice it and little by little I kind of came to understand. I’m a reader. I’m a learner, I am always I am probably always have like five books by my nightstand and like three audio books and two podcasts going all the time. And I just started reading a little bit more on where yoga really came from, and the true intent of yoga and little by little kind of got out of my physical practice of actual like Asana, moving my body through it, and much more connected to the meditation aspect and the the grounding principles of yoga and the eight limbs. And so I, from there just kind of started learning, all kinds of things about meditation. And we are really fortunate in our area. prudence burns here, because she has that veto song Dear Prudence, to doubt her. So that’s her, she lives here.
Brandon Handley 11:52
I don’t know. I don’t know that I recall the song Come and get a cup of water.
Lindsey Garner 11:55
When it’s actually about when the Beatles were at a yoga retreat in India. And there was a woman who sat in a room and meditated for hours and hours, and they were like, come out, prudence come out. That’s her. And she’s actually one of the leading teachers and she is a Sanskrit translator, translator, interpreter. I
Brandon Handley 12:19
don’t know. She can she can do. She can do Sanskrit.
Lindsey Garner 12:22
Yeah. So she’s here. And I met her and she shared about Transcendental Meditation with me. So I went through that training. And that was really my first go at meditation. I really had never done anything. Do you know
Brandon Handley 12:36
how much I’ve watched? Yeah, a little bit. So how is TM different than some other meditation forms of meditation?
Lindsey Garner 12:44
mantra base to so you’re assigned a mantra, go through the training or sign a mantra, and then it’s 20 minutes twice a day. It’s pretty structured. pretty strict. It’s very structured. And the guidance is like, that’s what you do. And there’s a lot of rules around it worked for me to start, but I’m kind of I’m kind of like an inner inner what, what are,
Brandon Handley 13:06
what are some of those rules? Right, and what was your mantra? Um,
Lindsey Garner 13:10
so everybody has their unique point and I’m super suspicious, so are like super superstitious. And so I am not going to tell you my, my own journey because I am worried.
Brandon Handley 13:21
Are you not allowed to?
Park you down is like a nonconformist.
Lindsey Garner 13:34
Yeah, thank you, um, but it’s like, okay, you meditate 20 minutes twice a day, you don’t want to do it a certain amount of time before bed. You don’t want to ever do it like laying down unless you’re sick. There’s just a lot of it, where I’m like, it just became inaccessible to me. And it became hard for me to consistently practice it. And took some really great things from it. And then from there, just kind of started reading about mindfulness. And then know that a lot of guided meditations are so accessible now. I mean, you can pull up the meditation app, and there’s like, 40 to open them up. And in that for those 42 apps. There’s 1000s. So just started playing around with that. And then I went to I just finished a training but my husband was sick. You know about that. My husband got really sick last year. And throughout the course of that had a lot of really specific. Like, really like a lot of trauma. I hate that word. And I don’t know why I hate that word. But I do a lot of really specific traumas that happened. I saw him
Unknown Speaker 14:50
do it throughout that through that throughout that ordeal.
Lindsey Garner 14:52
Yeah, he almost died a couple times. It was pretty hard and I lost my ability to drop into meditation really quickly. And it got so frustrating to me where I was like, this is a tool that I have that I need more than ever, and I can’t get into it and didn’t know why. And I reached out to a friend and she was like, hey, I’ve actually been doing some studying on trauma based meditation and how like, in times where you are really hyper focused on these events that have created this stir up in your brain, meditation can actually be really damaging if you’re not, you know, guided or led in the right way, or you’re not aware of that trauma. And so I started reading a little bit about that, and and then I just actually went to a training on feta healing, which was awesome, super awesome. But
Brandon Handley 15:49
you owe me like, more links or something on that. And here’s the you know, what’s funny, those right, you know, army 12 years, getting involved with yoga, and then be like, Oh, this is all Whoo, to being. I just finished my data healing. And I’d like to know, I’d also like to know more about the trauma, meditation. Um, because you’re right. When you when you this happened to me, mine was in no way shape, or form, you know, as severe as, you know, kind of what you were going through. But I was going through a space.
Unknown Speaker 16:27
And I couldn’t I
Brandon Handley 16:30
couldn’t I couldn’t get out of it. Right. Yeah. And I know all this stuff. And I’m really, really good at it, right. But there was something just and it wasn’t even big, but it was just enough. Where I was so focused on it, and I couldn’t I couldn’t get the fuck out of my own way.
Lindsey Garner 16:46
Yeah, it turns out that’s like, why happens? You just you get, all you do when you get quiet for meditation is you just replay that?
Unknown Speaker 16:56
Lindsey Garner 16:58
what am I doing over here? You know, and I don’t know a whole lot about it. But I have just kind of started digging in and reading some books and learning about it. But even just
Unknown Speaker 17:11
Lindsey Garner 17:12
somebody else, again, like somebody else saying, like, hey, it’s okay. Like, dude, forgive yourself.
Brandon Handley 17:20
Yeah. Yeah, no, it’s 100% 100% when somebody else can share the human condition. And lets you know that you’re not alone. And that, I think that that’s something that you do with your, your blog, right? You did two things with your blog that that come to my mind. If you don’t mind, like me shower, like kind of some some quick thoughts on that. Right. Um, one is, I’m a Bob Proctor fan. The dude the dude, like, wise, and you know, I don’t know if there’s some sales gimmicks, and I’m afraid to give them money, but like everything he says, is legit. And, and one of his one of the things that he recommends, or he talks about something that he practices is, whenever he’s got a problem, or whenever he’s going through something, he writes it down on it, he gets it out of his head, and on a piece of paper, out of his head and onto a piece of paper. And then he’ll go through it, he’ll read it. And I’ll ask themselves, did I get it all out? Right? I think it’s, I think it’s a kind of a Karthik thing, where, and at the same time, you can look at it, it’s like talking to somebody almost right. And you and I can talk about the you know, any problems that we’re having. And sometimes when it comes out of your mouth, you like, was not as big as I thought that it was, like that was a pretty big inside my head, it was huge. But once it got out here to this face, I was able to kind of see it in a different light in a different way. So I think that that’s one thing that you do with your blog, right? Sounds like it kind of started from a space where you needed to get the shit out of your head.
Lindsey Garner 18:53
Yeah, I was reading it if I was real.
Brandon Handley 18:57
And so you’re getting readers, and people do like it. And I think that they like it because you’re just being honest, sincere and letting them know and I’m not even trying to lead by example or anything again, just sharing who you are and what you’re going through in, in a non sugar coated kind of way. And yeah, people get to see that
Lindsey Garner 19:21
really hate that sugar coating thing that hate it, I think. Yeah, I don’t know. I really, it’s like my pet peeve when you know, somebody ain’t okay. And they’re like, not, everything’s great. Or like, this is why I’m posting on social media is what I’m sharing with the world. And then Meanwhile, it’s like a dumpster fire and you’re like, maybe if you just share the dumpster fire a little bit. You can have somebody be like, Oh my god, I’m actually in this dumpster too. And I know the way out. It’s
Brandon Handley 19:52
right over here. Yeah, no, that’s Yeah, that’s fair. But let’s let’s let’s play it in reverse because I also know that you’re you’re A big fan of some manifestation and a little bit of LA. Right. So then what happened? You know, how does that work in that space for you? Right? So if I focus on my problem, and I talk more about it, am I attracting more of it? Or am I learning at all? I mean, you know, I mean,
Lindsey Garner 20:17
yeah, I think about that damn, Esther Hicks Get out of my head. You don’t know me? I do. Think about it. Do you think a lot of it comes from the intention in it? Right? I don’t sit in my shed, I write it. And that is that is that catharsis of like, okay, I read it, I give it out. I read it. And then it’s done. I’m not coming back. I’m not not saying it. And I think that’s part of it. And this is like, for every human being out there. There’s something for them to do that allows them to do that. For me. It’s writing, right? You know, for some people it might be running, I don’t know, gross, but to each their own. I can’t imagine feeling better. Mentally. After a long run. I’ve usually I’m like, oh my god. Everything hurts. But
Brandon Handley 21:07
Lindsey Garner 21:09
Cooking, like cooking can be therapeutic for people you could have great,
Brandon Handley 21:13
yeah. So for me, it took me a while to kind of get around to it and understand it. But when I’m cooking in the kitchen, I’m creating something. That’s an act of creation. And
Unknown Speaker 21:27
it feels wonderful,
Unknown Speaker 21:28
right? And you’re serious,
Brandon Handley 21:30
right? You get to share and then and then if somebody doesn’t need it, or if they use too much seesaw, I get pissed, but
Lindsey Garner 21:36
you made your own.
Brandon Handley 21:38
But but the deal is it’s like and you start to let go of that too. Right? You must see your you know, somebody who’s getting pissed because you know, size for shorts aren’t down. It’s it’s like you’re not doing it, you’re just getting over the reaction to what you’ve done or created. Right? Whereas the process, you know, Meg and I had this conversation not too long ago, she’s like, I hate the process. I was like, well, the process is pretty cool. You just haven’t kind of experienced it yet. Right? You haven’t experienced like this, this this thing where you morphed through the process? Yeah. Right. And then like, because there’s really nothing else you can say to it, other than it’s the process of creation process. So yeah, and when you go through creating something with purpose, and 10, and love, then doesn’t really matter what the outcome is, unless it’s murder. And then there’s then we got to talk, but I can’t you know,
Lindsey Garner 22:35
love course, maybe I don’t know. I feel like she’s watched a documentary about some shows
Brandon Handley 22:40
you seen one or two on them? For sure. For sure. So let’s me let’s talk about what’s your process. Ben. Right, let’s talk about if you were to, if you were to guide somebody through it right now. And I see on your site, just as talk to me, like what somebody can reach out to you for? And you know, what would you guide through somebody through in a process oriented way?
Lindsey Garner 23:02
I’m trying to think I think the last person, or probably the by get the most feedback about is anytime that I talk about my relationship with my body. I don’t want to make a sweeping statement like this is something that women experience differently than men because I think men experience the same sort of, like discomfort in their own skin, or pressures from society or whatever. But this has been a big journey of mine. And I yeah, I mean, growing up. My mom is something special. She did her best. I believe that we don’t have a great relationship now. And a lot of that comes from me becoming a parent. And seeing Oh, wait, woof. That was maybe not an okay thing. I remember she told me I was maybe 30. I mean, I had done some shit in my life. And she said, the proudest I’ve ever been, is when you decided to lose weight when you were a teenager. And I’m like, wow, like, I want to combat had a kid I graduated degrees and have a successful career. And I was like, Whoa, there it is. So it’s just something that was ever present in my life. And that constant need to look a certain way to show up a certain way for everyone else, because I thought that’s what was needed to be and so I get a lot of women after I write about that, specifically, that will reach out and say like, okay, like, What do I do? Like, how did you get there? How did you get to the point where it’s not that I don’t care? I mean, I definitely care what I look like, but I don’t attach so much meaning and expectation to it anymore. I Who was it? It was on your podcast, and they call it a meat suit. Who was that?
Brandon Handley 24:57
That was this funny Christian. It was Yeah, he’s He’s really good.
Lindsey Garner 25:04
I really do like, as I’ve learned to meditate, and as I’ve learned to get a connection with the divine through meditation, I realized like, this is not it.
Brandon Handley 25:14
This is funny. I would, I would love to say that this is a smaller part of who we are.
Unknown Speaker 25:24
Brandon Handley 25:24
that’s right. Yeah. Like, I mean, like, I mean, if we infant festival, right, especially if we consider ourselves, I don’t know, in connection to the universe, right? Or as the universe, depending on how you kind of want to want to go about it. You know, yeah, Krishna said that, you know, other people that have said that plenty of times as neville goddard talks about being in the meatsuit Alan Watts will talk about being meatsuit. It’s not. He says, It is funny, but it’s, it’s true. Right? These are just, this is just something that we’re wearing right now. Right? Yeah. So
Lindsey Garner 26:00
beautiful. Like what is attractive to, like other people like what is attracted to me a guy that I’m like, Oh, my gosh, I’m super attracted that guy. Another person is like, what? Right? So subjective, that I think like, it comes from meditation. And I always comes back to that that like, because I started there. And then I realized, Oh, wait, actually, I’m this ball of light. And I’m connected to the divine all the time. And like, I don’t want to talk shit about the divine right? Why am I talking shit about myself?
Unknown Speaker 26:35
all the time? Yeah.
Lindsey Garner 26:37
And then I just became like, I didn’t want to have small talk anymore. And I noticed this, so many women around me, the majority of the conversations were grounded around what their kids were doing with their husbands are doing in their bodies.
Brandon Handley 26:52
Would you say that? That’s just because they’re, they’re afraid of who they really are? Yeah. How would you help somebody get through that?
Lindsey Garner 27:03
Yeah. I, um,
Brandon Handley 27:08
I mean, like, right, right. Like, I mean, so it will even flip back to you. So you think that you’re divine? Right. And you’re connected to the divine? Yes, you so somebody else said they are divine, and they’re connected to the divine, and they still have some larger conversations.
Lindsey Garner 27:24
Well, I have them unabashedly. And what I have noticed is that when I have them, that is uncomfortable at first. And then it becomes an okay thing. I mean, I do this and I do this. At my store, I have about 30 people that work for me and they love hate me. Because I make these conversations a thing. Like if I come into the break room, and we’re talking about trying to lose weight, so our size look less fat, I like awkwardly change the topic to What are you reading? What’s a book you’re reading? Let’s talk about it? Or do you want to hear about what I manifested last year, like I unabashedly just, I just think we’re playing small, and I will call people out on it. And I think sometimes it’s just that destruction that’s needed. And then it’s like, again, it’s like a ripple effect. I do it. And I see other people do it, little by little, and that’s, like, greatest success of my whole life is when I come in, and we’re talking about big things.
Brandon Handley 28:24
That’s great, right? Because then you can see that you’re having some influence, right? Or, you know, you’re manifesting that right? for yourself, right? Like, like, you know, so you’re able to kind of see this future state where you walk into an office and a break room, and everybody’s talking about cool shit instead of chubby thighs. Right? I mean, you know, just to kind of lay it out there like that. So, it’s what makes it so easy for you to, to, to, you know, feel like you’re living this kind of greater life and to be able to look at somebody else and say that, hey, you could be living a greater life or, you know, stop playing small. Right? And I bring that up, because I recall being It was a few years ago, I was in a dad, dad bloggers convention, because that was my space at the time. But I was asking these guys is like, you know, what’s the feel like for you to step into your greatness and I meant it, right? Like, yeah, and they shied away from accepting anything that looked like greatness and kind of hurt my heart. Yeah, it’s like, Wow, man, like you’re a great person, and like, you’re doing something awesome. But you don’t even see it for yourself. Right. So how do you how do you know how do you step into your greatness and how you help and other stuff There’s
Lindsey Garner 30:02
number one like expectations, you gotta let them ships go, which I say is like, it’s so easy. I would say this, like, I basically have mastered this. No, I totally not that just so you know. But I have learned so much around really pushing expectations, not not just at work in my life in my marriage, like, so much. Just because I want an outcome from someone or I see something in someone, I don’t have an ability to impact their path. I don’t touch it, and on my you know, like a marble, your marble hits, and then it goes another direction or pool ball or whatever. But who am I to know what their journey looks like? And how many awesome things could come from them effing things up. And I mean, that’s part of it. You know, my last year of my life has been really, truly transformative. My husband and I have been through a shit ton. And I have watched him really come into his own. And he was on the phone. He had surgery yesterday, he had one more heart surgery yesterday. And he couldn’t be on our marriage. Can we have marriage counseling every week? It’s like, we don’t miss it. Even if we feel really good. We’re like, Nope, still doing it. And I was sitting in my marriage counseling, and my counselor and I were talking and I was saying how, how hard it is to be a caregiver for someone for this long. And I was like, man, there’s things about my husband, that I really miss, you know, from a year ago, like, physically that he could do, or just like experiences we could have when he is truly healthy. And he was like, but what’s come of it. And I thought I thought about it, I was like, this person that’s here, now is so, so much more grounded in like, what’s truly important. He’s learning about the things that we’re talking about it now. And like, we’re able to have actual real conversation where we show up as ourselves instead of this, like surface shit. And I’m like, you know what, actually, right? Like, that’s what matters, not the, you know, he does assess, take naps, like that’s really he’s in the hospital for a year, you don’t come out of that in three months. So it’s cool. I didn’t deal with that. Because there’s all this and we had to go through all that shit. For that to happen, he probably wouldn’t have if he if he hadn’t almost died as many times as he did, or we hadn’t had any of the issues that we had, we wouldn’t be here. And so that has given me the perspective to know that like, hey, Karen, I see you, we don’t have your shorts. I’m sorry, that is pissed you off. I was just gonna be kind to you anyway, maybe it impacts you. Maybe it doesn’t.
Brandon Handley 32:58
Because it goes to the whole idea of you know, treating others as you know, we can love thy neighbor isn’t love thy neighbor, them, you know, you love the neighbor as yourself. Because, you know, in essence, and at least in our conversation in our world, they are. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, you’re not getting it. And I say this so that, you know, for the person out there that is struggling to deal with the people that are paying their ass or whatever, with a couple things, right? I mean, however that person is, that’s kind of a reflection of who we are. Right? And then the idea of you get what you give, so no, kill them with kindness, right? And maybe, maybe take that person out of the equation and put yourself in an equation, right? Like, you know what, I’m just gonna, you’re me. I love you. Yeah, you know, I
Lindsey Garner 33:55
mean, oh, I just had a thought that. Okay, I don’t share this a lot. So I’m going to share it and this is what I do. So my husband cheated on me. We had infidelity in our relationship. And here it is, like, this girl that he cheated on me this was a manifestation of every single insecurity that I had. She was the complete opposite of me. And in my deepest shit, it made me super insecure and like I’m not good enough. I’m, I don’t look a certain way. I don’t add a lot on Instagram posting selfies. It’s just not who I am. no judgement, live your life, but it’s not. And I was like, Oh my God, is this what he wants? And then I I mean, it clicked for me one day and I was like, holy shit. She is everything that I am holding on to as my own insecurity and I put that shit in my path. And I’m not you know, I’m not here to say that. There’s not any like, Oh, it was me that I did that. No, I
Unknown Speaker 35:00
mean, but but I mean,
Brandon Handley 35:02
so you’re taking ownership of it and one way or another, right. And, and it was really interesting. I saw jack Canfield, you know, Chicken Soup for the Soul guy. He said, just just for a moment, if you can own 100% of it, by all of it, then own it, right. But if you just own 99% of it, then there’s a problem, right? But here, and what you’ve done is you’ve said, you know, you’re looking at this other person, those are all the vibes that you were sending out, you were like, creating this thing yourself. And you focused on it long enough with enough emotion with enough intensity to you know, kind of create your own bullshit. Gollum, whatever her name was.
Lindsey Garner 35:52
100% Yeah. Right. And, and, and crazy, like, exactly it in my head.
Brandon Handley 36:00
Right. And and, and the thing is, there’s a lot of power in that then no, so Okay. dial in the wrong fucking thing. So now, now you’re like, Alright, well, you know, here’s what I would change about that going forward. Right? And and, you know, you mentioned Esther Hicks. Right. So you’re an abraham hicks fan?
Unknown Speaker 36:23
Brandon Handley 36:25
The her whole principle is like, you know, the relationships that you’ve had in the past, right? The idea that I don’t want somebody this moves, I don’t want somebody does this. I don’t want somebody does that, and yada, yada, and all sudden that person shows up. Right? Right. It was funny, because a meg and I had dinner last week, we were talking about the relationships that my mom had, as I was growing up, you know, her, my dad was abusive, right? And so she got us out of that before me and before it ever earned for me. But almost every guy that I recall, her being in a relationship later in life with was abusive. So just makes me think, and I’m sure that, you know, she tunes into this one that she probably say no, but and I don’t know, but like, you know, the whole idea of, I don’t want somebody that abuses me, I don’t want somebody to treat me like this. I don’t want somebody treats me. And instead of instead of saying, This is what I do want. And and I always, you know, I have Meg do it at dinner. I was like, you know, do you pull out your Google phone, you know, pull up Google put in there, type in no red balloons, right? What’s gonna come up black and red balloons everywhere? I mean, it because, you know, so our minds operate in the same way. So I mean, you know, which is something you’re familiar with. One of the things that you did, though, throughout, you know, kind of this whole ordeal with your husband being this way, you you manifest some pretty crazy shit. Right? Let’s talk about that. Like, let’s talk about how you, you know, you focused on what you mean, Tell, tell us how you manifested that stuff. And you did it and kind of squirt water and some pretty cool things to talk about.
Lindsey Garner 38:06
He? Well, so we’re both veterans, and he’s 100% disabled. So most of his health care goes to the VA. When he first got sick, that was what we were doing. We were going through the VA and the VA denied him care, he kept getting sicker, kept getting sicker, they couldn’t really figure it out. And we had to just kind of start and think, Okay, you know what, we got to go somewhere else like this isn’t gonna work. And so I recently did the The first thing anybody says with me, it’s like all call your congressman call your congressman. So we did all that, right. We’re like, Okay, here we go. Like, let’s do this. I don’t know anything about politics. But let me get started. I’m not very political. Um, so went that route, and I was on a walk one day, all my, all my best shit comes in, I’m walking that damn feral dog. And I love my dog, but he’s a mess. So we take a lot of walks, because he needs a lot. And we’re walking. And I was like, there has to be a place where he can get everything that he needs, mental, spiritual, physical. All of this, like it’s got to be a place. And that for me, I’m, I am a big believer in feeling how things feel in your body. And I do feel like that sounds right. There it is. And so instead of going to the VA, my first thing is I call my sister, my sister’s a doctor, and I’m like, maybe, you know, is this a thing like and she started giving me a couple places I could look and I just kept meditating on that. I was like, we’re gonna find a place that is going to be all encompassing, is going to follow him through to the end because the VA said, No, you we’re gonna send you to a nursing home. And my sister was like, he will die in that nursing home. He will not go out. It and during COVID he would have gone by himself, I wouldn’t have been able to be there.
Unknown Speaker 40:06
Yeah, and sure enough,
Lindsey Garner 40:08
people reached out for Mass General and said, Hey, we can take him on not only can we take him on, we can pay for pay for what the insurance doesn’t cover. And I was like, What? And then a friend of his created a GoFundMe, and it blew up and gave us enough to cover my travel costs to go back and forth and to pay for me to take time off work to be there. And I mean, I,
Brandon Handley 40:32
I want to I want to throw out there too, like, I mean, you also have a family and it’s not just you and your husband. Like, I think
Unknown Speaker 40:39
a teenage daughter
Brandon Handley 40:41
right so so you know, you got all that going on. And and it’s enough to you talked about, you know, being being a caregiver for this long period of time, and I chuckled to myself is like you know, for better for worse, but like, I mean, for like a half hour or a day maybe right? But you’ve got this you’ve got this whole year going on. And what I’m hearing yourself say those like you know, when you’re when you’re walking into golf is walks you you’re kind of tossing these questions to the universe, like you know, what we’re, you know, you know, feel and then you talk about feeling it and and one thing that I think is a male and and the United States Anyways, we’re taught not to feel a whole lot, right. But you know, dawns on me really like feeling really is you know, your thoughts and emotions, you know, your head and your heart coming together as one and doing kind of like a purposeful way. And sounds to me like you were feeling your way forward in a way that felt best. I hate to say like, follow your bliss, or when I say I’ll say follow your hunches. Are you familiar with Florence? scovel Shinn, huh? Yes, this is my jam, right? But you know, hunches or your house or heaven or something like that, again, it’s one of her things, right? So you’re following your hunches and you’re focused on the possible and then this just started happening?
Lindsey Garner 42:01
Yeah, it does. And my marriage counselor, anytime there was like a hiccup in our marriage, he’s like, Oh, there you go. You’re fast. manifester. What we think you out and I’m like, yeah, damn it. Yeah, that’s true. Um, yeah. And I don’t know like, you can say like, I could see right now like, I want to be a NASA or at NASA thing that thing anymore. I want to be an astronaut. That sounds really cool. Doesn’t land for me. It doesn’t I don’t get excited about it. I feel that and if I say on the other hand, like, I want to live in campgrounds one day because I love campground people. I love the lack of boundaries that exists in campgrounds.
Brandon Handley 42:48
Lindsey Garner 42:52
We’ve talked about it. I’m like, no, it’s great. Everybody like comes over eats your dinner. You they come into your house. They’re like, Can I see your camper? And you’re like, yeah, oh, yeah, you
Brandon Handley 43:02
get rid of the airstream. I’m so jealous.
Lindsey Garner 43:05
though nobody bought for keeping it. And me and Zach in RV can
Unknown Speaker 43:09
rent them out, by the way, right? You can rent them right?
Lindsey Garner 43:12
Well, I just don’t have time to manage it. I like
Brandon Handley 43:15
I’ll send you a link later. But you don’t have to do the management this kind of like an Airbnb forum.
Unknown Speaker 43:21
Unknown Speaker 43:23
Great. Anyways, I
Lindsey Garner 43:24
mean, we’re gonna keep it for our road trip this summer. So Lisa, my 15 year old daughter and two dogs are taking this little Airstream. We’re going,
Brandon Handley 43:33
Yeah, I love it. So standing naked in front of strangers, your blog, people should be going and checking it out. They’re going to find more of kind of what we’re talking about here. I’m going to ask you a couple of questions. And it’s going to be kind of like, we’re speed dating, right? We’re seriously right now. And woo Wayne. So why are so many people depressed?
Lindsey Garner 44:00
Don’t think they’re connected to who they are? think they’re connected what they think everyone wants them to be? feel like they’re faking it a lot faking It’s exhausting.
Brandon Handley 44:12
When you stay connected to who you are, like, what does that mean to you?
Lindsey Garner 44:18
Things showing up as what you think others expect of you instead of in a way that honors like why you know, you’ve been put here everyone has a purpose Everyone has their own path and like the more that we get connected to that and show up in that way.
Brandon Handley 44:37
So you would you would tell somebody to kind of try and fight figure out what the purpose is to start lean into it and that would lead them to kind of who they are.
Lindsey Garner 44:44
Yeah, and that doesn’t mean this like giant sexy thing. Like for me, I freakin love running a retail store, right? I used to think it needed to be this like, huge thing. I really get joy out of selling yoga pants. I love it.
Brandon Handley 44:56
And that’s awesome, right? And I think that that can be And it’s been tough for me to find that so tough for me to find that right? If I’m not doing if I’m not doing something a little heavier, right? Because if if, you know, going back to, if I feel like I’m in a room with people talking about stubby thighs, I don’t feel like I’m living my best life. Right? And so so like, how do you how do you get out of that? And there’s it sounds to me, like you found ways to focus on what you’re bringing into your life and to these people through the work that you do. That is driving your purpose and satisfaction, and it doesn’t have to be doesn’t have to be your shelter changing the world, right? So someone’s world,
Lindsey Garner 45:40
yeah, in my own little universe. And I think that that’s the way that’s the most accessible to everyone like it. I think sometimes, this idea of like our purpose, we make it this big thing. And then it seems so far that we don’t even take a step towards it. But like, if I can come into my store, say something kind to someone, they all say all of a sudden feel more comfortable in their skin, or they then repeat that that’s change, and you’ve made it in your own little microcosm, right.
Brandon Handley 46:08
But it’s also micro, right, you go back to the idea of stepping into your greatness. And sometimes that’s like, 1000 baby steps to get there. Yes, right. So these small, you’re right, like if we try to put this overarching sense of purpose, where it’s like this huge fuckin vision, right? Like, you know. And instead we say, you know, I think it’s okay to say that. This is my purpose for right now. Yeah. Are people out there? There are people out there who believe your purpose doesn’t change. Right. Um, but I think that there are instances of you know, about this purpose revision.
Lindsey Garner 46:52
I can tell you right now, 19 year old Lindsey that I don’t know what my Yeah, I don’t think it was the same. Right? Right. Talk about it.
Brandon Handley 47:01
Let’s let’s do you know, I love the idea that you you feel like you can connect with the divine at will that you are divine. That to me, would indicate that you’ve got an idea on kind of what heaven is and how to get there.
Lindsey Garner 47:18
afraid of death anymore, either, which is cool. Like I live recklessly, but I’m not afraid of death anymore. Because I just don’t view it. Like, I have a different relationship with planes of existence in time, you know that. I just don’t do it the same. Also meditation can we just all get the shit out of our head that you need to be sitting on a pillow with like, incense burning, and essential oils and mala, like, my best meditations in my car. I’m on lunch break.
Brandon Handley 47:49
I’m so glad to say I was doing it yesterday, like in the car. Like I was, like, you know what, and it was very comfortable. I had like my own jams going. Also sound therapy because like, I can turn that off. I can turn the volume up and says like, I can set like theta waves in the car, right? And I’m sitting in a theta situation. So yeah, what is heaven right to you, and how would you get there?
Lindsey Garner 48:15
I think it’s actually like, getting into a place. Where, okay, I’m going to describe this because my husband, I talk about this all the time. So we have two dogs. We have three dogs, but with an English bulldog. She’s 11 she’s kind of an asshole. She’s grumpy. She bites people. Then we have Bojangles He’s my dog. And he lives his life. Just like so fully. He’s so excited to see you. He is so curious and just in joy all the time. And I feel like shorty, that’s the grumpy asshole. She’s on her like, first life Bojangles be like on his 77th he’s had time to be like, Oh, don’t do that. Now, okay. And you learn and you learn and you learn and I honestly, I think that it’s it’s an ability to have what we would consider to be like, a life. That is that where you’re like, man, I am in this and I am Yeah, there’s hard things but like it’s okay. And you move through it. I really I think it’s more than that. And I don’t really think we have a concept of it. I think there’s a way I could describe it. But I think it’s like an ultimate sense of peace enjoy.
Brandon Handley 49:33
Yeah, I mean, so it sounds to me that you’re kind of living your life as it is and finding those moments of connection. Yeah, would be to you a little bit like having and yeah, are you are you saying then that new could have heaven here on earth and not like Belinda Carlisle song but slightly different.
Lindsey Garner 49:58
Oh, way to go. Good work, Belinda Carlisle. Yeah, I do think that, uh, now I want to sing it, but I don’t want that I don’t want that immortalized in the podcast. My teenage daughter would be like, what are you doing? I am mortified. Although right.
Brandon Handley 50:19
Now, that’s perfect. And I agree, I think that, um, I think that it is, and I think that it hasn’t closed. But I think that, you know, kind of, the more that you meditate, the more that you focus on it, the more that you make that your intent and your purpose to find in your life, you know, by pop in, you know, heavens, in my Google search engine, it’s a good chance that we’ll find it right, at least I can dig, I don’t know how many, how many O’s I’m gonna have to go through to find the one that I like. But, you know, if we put that into our search engines, then we have an opportunity to find it. So, so grateful, again, for you for free to pop on. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you a little bit more. Enjoy, you know, thank you for the conversations that we get to have online and thanks for the conversations that you have with with Meg, I know that you get to act as a as a translator, for what I’m saying. It’s true, because once he gets to translate what it is I’m saying the mag normal language. And it’s a challenge, right? Because I’m so immersed in it right and and, you know, as the idea of you become what you eat, right? And if all you’re taking in is this content, that’s all I can come out. And we get to I get to a point and I know that I’m not the best with it, but I sometimes I do forget, you know where I came from like this is I’ve always been connected to source.
Unknown Speaker 51:53
Brandon Handley 51:55
No. The other day when you’re being asshole you weren’t connected? You’re totally not.
Lindsey Garner 52:00
Yeah, I really honest part of why I write is because I am terrible at communicating my husband. And if you got it helps a lot. He’s like,
Brandon Handley 52:09
I mean, that’s why we have 90% of our conversations on Facebook, right? Like, that’s where we catch up. She’ll come in and she’ll come in and let me know something’s going on. But yeah, I read that, like, two hours ago, we’re all caught up like, I’m on your feed from but so so again, very grateful for you coming on today. I’m glad that we got the chance to have this conversation. Where should I send people to go hang out with you? which defines
Lindsey Garner 52:33
Yeah, go read my blog. I think that’s a good way and then yeah, I mean, it’s it’s a it’s a baby blog, because they do it very much on the side and I would love one day to make that thing that is bigger and then I can do on a larger scale. So yeah, go and tell me what you want me to say and start a conversation I hate small talk. So yeah, just like drop some really awkward awesome deep shit in there my best day
Brandon Handley 53:00
when somebody so you’ve also got the chat function there, you know, outside of some deep shifts that you want some people to drop their what you know, what are some other things that somebody might feel reach out to you for?
Lindsey Garner 53:15
Anything that I read connects you in? You’re like, man, how did you do that? I’m not here to tell you like this was easy. It took me like 10 years to figure this shit out. But I can be a partner and a sounding board and nothing annoys me more than an advice giver. So I will not give you advice but there is face always face to just be where you are. And then maybe sometimes like a gentle nudge, be like okay, you’ve been where you are a little too long time. Let’s do this.
Unknown Speaker 53:41
Like right after you get the fuck out.
Lindsey Garner 53:43
Yeah, sir. I know a way.
Unknown Speaker 53:47
Right? Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Awesome. Okay, thank
Unknown Speaker 53:51
Transcribed by https://otter.ai