The upcoming summit that will be a launch for the membership group. Summit will be 3 days and called Sober. Soulful. Successful. and have speakers than embody these topics.The thread through all this is that we can examine our problems, our pain, our passions and find our purpose in life – which is so needed to counteract temptation to return to self-abusive lifestyle. My getting clear on our intrinsic motivation, we can ask ourselves, “What is more important right now- immediate satisfaction or long term gratification?”So many people are working poor. Plus, they are doing a job that they hate. When we get clear on our highest values, surround ourselves with people who share these same values, live in alignment with self evident principles, we can get clarity and confidence to be more like the person we were born to be – (which is an internal state of being) We were not born to have anxiety, burnout, regrets, resentments and shame. Get those head trips less important to you and you will easily recognize what makes you come alive and the you will do it!
Head on over to https://www.aattitudeofgratitude.com/about/aags-founder/ to find out more about Randy Hyden
Transcription by otter.ai
Unknown Speaker 0:00
Your journey has been an interesting one to hear. You’ve questioned so much more than those around you. You’ve even questioned yourself as to how you could have grown into these thoughts. Am I crazy? When did I begin to think differently? Why do people in general You’re so limited in a thought process for sure. You are not alone. The world is slowly waking up to what you already know inside get can’t quite verbalize. Welcome to the spiritual dough podcast to show the answers the questions you never even knew to ask, but knew the answers to questions about you. This world the people in it? Most importantly, how do I proceed? Now moving forward? We don’t have to have all the answers, but we sure do love living in the question. Time for another head of spiritual dub with your host, Brandon Handley. Let’s get right into today’s episode.
Brandon Handley 0:43
For three, actually, how do I pronounce your last name?
Unknown Speaker 0:47
Brandon Handley 0:48
tiden? Okay, Randy hyden. Right. Yeah, good. Yeah, I can’t tell you the number of times I put your somebody’s name by accent then can I got it? So just make that a practice of asking before we get going cold everything but a gentleman. Fair enough. Fair enough. 54321. Hey, there, spirituals open. Thanks for tuning in to another interview episode I am on today with Randy hyden. He is the creator of attitude for gratitude flow. And he’s coming up to you with a new summit. That’s going to be three days. That’s called sober soulful and successful. I used to have speakers that embody these topics. And, you know, Randy, and I connected kind of in some odd areas. And I haven’t told Randy this yet. But Randy was brand new saying like everything that was on my mind. And like Facebook and posts, I was like, man, I gotta get to know this guy. And we did Connect. And so that’s pretty much the genesis of how we got john here today. Randy, did you know that I was talking? I was like, you’re just saying everything on my mind?
Randy Hyden 2:02
Well, I find humor in that because I recognize that you were what you were posting was like, so I don’t know, maybe? Maybe we’re the same person in two different dimensions.
Brandon Handley 2:14
Well, I mean, I think that that’s interesting, though, too, right? We just we have the same kind of the same things kind of on our hearts, and we’re sharing them out there with the public. And I think that that’s a I think that’s neat. Um, you know, just kind of, uh, you know, that everybody talks about vive and are resonating. And there you go, right. We’re like two different tuning forks on the opposite side of the country.
Randy Hyden 2:34
Yeah, it is cool. Yeah. Because there’s, you know, we read about this stuff, but until you actually experienced it, it’s all concept. For sure, for sure. is very real.
Brandon Handley 2:45
Yeah, absolutely. So I like to start these off Randy, with the idea that you and I are vessels for creative energy, God universe, whatever you want to say. And that, you know, there’s a message coming through you for somebody listening to this podcast today. And it can only be delivered through you. So what’s that message?
Unknown Speaker 3:10
Randy Hyden 3:13
well, the theme for all the groups with the summit and the free membership group and Facebook and the paid membership group flow, is to be more like the person you were born to be. May I explain how I came to that message?
Brandon Handley 3:32
Absolutely pleased to. Okay,
Randy Hyden 3:34
so because our listeners may not know, I am 13 years sober. Coming up next week will be 14 years sober. And so that’s, that’s something I’m very proud of. Especially because what I was new, like many people in the first year of sobriety was a day by day sometimes by an hour by hour proposition. And during those difficulties, gentleman who eventually became my sponsor, mentor, Bob, he, he told me it goes, if you hang around and do this thing, eventually you’ll be more like the person you were born to be. Actually, if they could get it since this crowd is okay with the word God, he actually said, you’d be more like the person God made you to be and get the goosebumps right now. And so that was the promise I held on to in the beginning. And frankly, I still I hang my hat on that. In the beginning, I had no idea I used to pray God provide all that’s needed and move what’s not for me to be more like the person you made me to be. I’ve said that prayer, or some form of it countless times, hundreds of times, maybe maybe over 1000 times. I’ve prayed prayed that. And up until recently, I had no idea what the heck that was. And honestly, on the outside, I still don’t even know what it is. But on the inside within me what I carry with me, I believe that none of us were ever created to carry around anxiety. We’re not meant to be burned out. Regret, resentment, and most of all shame. I do it, perhaps I’m just some kooky guy. Well, I am kooky guy. But again, maybe this this is is only something that I just carry with me. But I really truly believe in everything I want to bring out as messages. And so it’s we were never made to carry around the shame that we do. So that’s what the intention is, again, long, a lot of letters and words and in such a cut out that to reinforce what I mean by to be more like the person you were born to be? No, I
Brandon Handley 5:47
mean, I look, I love that, right. And I think that, um, you know, what you’re speaking to is really, what happens somewhere along the journey. And maybe not to everybody, but to more people than we’re aware of, because you’re talking about this. I, you said you didn’t realize what this meant, until more recently, right. And it’s not something that’s easy for you to put into words. But it’s a more than a feeling, right? It’s more than a feeling. And, and as you and I connected, you can kind of tell who’s in that space. Right? So why don’t you talk to me a little bit about what that space? Where would you be comfortable with calling? I mean, I don’t think the you know, awakening, maybe not your term. Nor is like, you know, finding your true self? or How would you describe it for somebody that’s curious about what that means to you?
Randy Hyden 6:50
Well, thank you. Because honestly, that’s been part of my challenges. This thing’s been percolating in me for years. But trying to talk about something that, again, as I mentioned, I don’t even really fully understand, I just know, I have a thing about me right now where I could move with a lot less resistance. You know, my intention is to experience and express inspiration. So others may do the same in their own unique way. And together, and we make the world a little better place. With that intention, I I don’t sweat things like I used to. I give myself a lot more room to be imperfect. And that’s, like, 1000 miles away where I was 14 years ago. But even then, again, he’s progressing. And yeah, you know, we try to, you know, talk about things that no, it’s like, joked around about us, you know, frequencies and then the, and maybe we’re the same person in two different dimensions and stuff. I mean, it’s all concepts. It’s all words, it’s, we’re trying to communicate something that really truly, it’s difficult, if not impossible to communicate, but when it’s experienced. You can you can talk about love in such earlier. Oh my gosh, yeah, I remember my best friend, he fell in love before I did. And I saw the change. His girlfriend was a friend also, as well, we hung around a lot. And I saw the change in both of them. And I thought it was the coolest thing. Really, really happy for both of them. But I you know, I had no idea what love was until I fell in love. That makes sense
Brandon Handley 8:42
that absolutely absolutely right. Again, these are these are things that these are things I always joke about the the idea of, if you would have told me maybe three or four years ago that I’d be doing this spiritual dope, personal, personal development space, and all these other things I might have punched in the face, Randy, I might not have been to because you look like you punch me back. And I might get fucked up. But the whole, the whole idea is that there’s no way that I would have found myself in this space until I you know, went through the space. And then you hear people always saying, trust the process. I’m like, now like, trust the process. Right? It has, you know, that has meaning now, whereas before, it had not
Randy Hyden 9:30
zactly Exactly. And of course, we all assign meaning to everything every moment, consciously and unconsciously. And naturally, how I’m going to view the meaning of our time together is going to be different from here then we could both say, we appreciate sharing some of your day together. We appreciate the listeners, you know peeking in on this conversation is But what exactly that looks like what that feels like and stuff. It’s very unique and it’s very personal. But again, something like gratitude or appreciation. Thanksgiving and stuff is a universal concept it is seems to be something that’s wired into all of us. But until you experience it, but I laugh I laugh so hard when you talked about punching somebody in the face. Yeah. When I, I surrendered. If somebody had told me you’re in exactly the right place you need to be. People may have heard that saying as well. Right? I sure is anything. Yeah, gotten violent. But now looking back at it and stuff. I yeah, I’ve said it countless times. And I tried to be a little mindful about that. You know, which is another thing, Mike. Mindfulness, what a word that gets thrown around all the time. And it’s, it’s very personal, it can mean different things for now. Yeah. 100%. Right, to to listen to people in a way to understand when I’m making a statement, whether that’s going to be something that’s possible for them to chew on
Brandon Handley 11:02
the right, I mean, that that talks to the whole idea of, you know, kind of talking to people where they are.
Randy Hyden 11:08
So, so how I get there,
Brandon Handley 11:10
I listen, I’m not
Randy Hyden 11:13
really been a challenge with we’ve tried to put some messaging out there, which means like marketing, and branding, and all this kind of kind of stuff, bringing this out. But you know,
Brandon Handley 11:22
I want to pause there for a second. Right, Randy, can we I think I think that marketing and branding. First for many, and even even, like, as you’re talking about it, it’s kind of like dismissing it for a second. But all you’re really trying to do and correct me if I’m wrong is, you know, share out something that could truly benefit some people and highlight some just amazing things that you know, could theoretically, PR your experience, bring people to a great place. Right. So I mean, if you’re using marketing and branding, and then again, you know, we we met through, I think James Gaffney, Jimbo, Uncle Jimbo. And, you know, his idea of branding is branding is your promise. Right? And so if you’re what you know, is sticking with that for a second, you know, as you’re doing your marketing and your branding for your school over here, again, just read it because I have a short term memory today, silver, soulful, successful attitude of gratitude and flow. What is your branding? What is your promise to these people that they can hang out?
Randy Hyden 12:32
Well, you know, I touched on it earlier, but it’s, it’s great that, you know, can we bring up uncle Jimbo? Because going through his class really helped me understand that. Just be yourself. And, and when you get back to words, like authentic, we’re being authentic, the people will get, they’ll dig it, and they’ll hang out with you, and maybe even spend a little bit of money and stuff and those that don’t dig you, they gonna hang around very long and don’t sweat it. Again, you’re just trying to manufacture it. Frankly, I was a big part of why I was miserable. I was using drugs all the time, I was trying to create this persona that people would like, so I could fit in. And I wasn’t true to myself. And consciously and subconsciously, I really hated who I become. It’s phony. It wasn’t true to myself. But then it was really scary that if I did share who I was, maybe things go from bad for worse. So I just kind of bounced against the walls, sometimes literally, but metaphorically and stuff. I was trying to navigate my way and then it was just kind of the whole stuff is Hey, man, you know, just stop trying so damn hard.
Brandon Handley 13:51
Randy Hyden 13:52
yeah, yourself. And that’s a funny thing. Oh, it winds up being probably better than I ever the persona I ever tried to manufacture. But yeah, James was huge. And after that,
Brandon Handley 14:05
yeah, no, I mean, that, you know, not for nothing. The course that course is, you know, for 100 bucks, top notch. I’m not trying to send people there, but I am at the same time. Like, I mean, go check that out. If you’re going to check out a marketing course go check that one out. Where would you say, you know, the, you know, you’ve gone through a transition, right? You’ve gone through a shift. And Wayne Dyer has a movie called The shift. Have you ever seen it?
Randy Hyden 14:33
No. But I love windows, everything that I have, you know, consumed has been beneficial. So you’re mentioning I’m going to stick it out? Yeah, so
Brandon Handley 14:43
absolutely. And in the in the movie talks about men going through the the shift, quote unquote, right? It’s around a certain age bracket. You and I are both in it. But it talks about the change of you know Have your attention, right? What do you focus on? Right? Do you were talking about being focused kind of like on the person you were supposed to be for everybody else? And maybe some things that weren’t so beneficial. And into maybe spirituality and discovering your sense of self? Is that make sense?
Randy Hyden 15:23
Oh, yeah, yeah. So what I’m hearing you mentioned about is what some people refer to as the first half and second half of life. Sure, okay, existential, an existential crisis type of thing. You know, and my understanding of it is, it’s not necessarily something that is chronological, or, you know, it’s based upon how many years you are, but it does commonly happen around the 40s area. Because we’ve gone through the process of establishing our identity, doing the things that we need to do with the egos really serving its purpose, you know, how do we dominate to get the mate? You know, the career, you know, how do we, how do we do all these things to create something that we could call security. But eventually, there comes a moment of clarity. And usually that comes through crisis, where you start realizing the paradigms that one serves, you are no longer beneficial.
Brandon Handley 16:24
Yeah. What do you think?
Randy Hyden 16:26
What your view is, though
Brandon Handley 16:28
it? Where do you where say, when? Or what was the situation you feel? You might have crossed the rat threshold?
Randy Hyden 16:36
Well, it’s I’m 56. So I got sober when I was 43. And,
Brandon Handley 16:42
yes, okay, with sobriety for you. Is that what you’re saying?
Randy Hyden 16:44
Yeah, so sobriety, there is the case, you know, and, yeah, it’s so personal. I was in the middle of a fog and lots of confusion, lots of overwhelm happening. It’s hard to really, you know, try to be definitive and objective about my experience. But that’s part of the thing that’s really good. When you’re in the 12. If anyone’s familiar with 12 step programs, the pay it forward paradigm, no one else who’s suffering how you once did, you process your pain, you’ve gone through a lot of problems, and you found a passion. And you want to pay it forward, you would like to help others. And as I’ve had those opportunities, I’ve been able to see myself time and time again, and go, Oh, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that’s just like, if anybody is, again, if you haven’t experienced, but you’ve heard of these concepts. It may not necessarily be resonating with you, but anybody who’s gone through it, the when we talk about how I’ve received more than I that I’ve ever given, or, I mean, these people, well, the first time I ever, ever sponsored a guy, I asked my friend Alan, who eventually became my sponsor. And hey, Tony wants me to sponsor, and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t even gone through the 12 steps myself, which again, is gone through this proc official process. I’m like, What am I going to do? And, and Alan just smiled. And he just goes, how you may be able to help Tony may not I don’t know how it goes, but I’m positive. Tony will help you. Wow. And that was enough for me to smile like you did and move forward and work with Tony. And yeah, yeah, I hope I helped him a little bit. But I know for sure without a doubt that that’s been a first person than every other man since then, like from greatly and have to give credit the thing of expanding upon this to this these things flow, attitude of gratitude, the summit called you know, sober, soulful, successful, is to have a more than just Randy talking about this, but having many voices, in their own words, their own emphasis, talking about the similar thing. So we can help other people maybe experience in in their own unique way, this inspiration that comes when you’re, when you’re present in the moment with another person. And you’re some people call it active listening. I call it listening without opinion, but being really present, right? And there’s something that happens, my guess is that it’s kind of like an end run around my ego. So why ego still present all the chaos and confusion, the scrimmage is going on in front of me. And somehow I snuck around the side got in the goal line. thing, for sure. My soul has been trying to tell me but there was too much noise in my head, you know that. We have these voices in our head, you know, the Buddhists call the monkey mind and stuff. And it’s, it’s like if you and I if I was talking over all the time, I’d never be able to hear you, right. So again, I go All these voices in my head when I can get into the state, and it’s just like a meditation, I’ll focus on my breathing and stuff, but I will really listen to it. And I could, maybe there still every now and then some poo get flung around in the monkey mind. But all in all, there’s enough quiet that that I’m hearing something then I need to hear. And that’s what I mean by experiencing inspiration. That’s something that makes me just, I don’t know, people out of my life,
Brandon Handley 20:31
I’m sure. You know, let’s talk for just a second I mean is it is it sobriety you you feel or sobriety you feel that in of itself, or this connection to source type of thing connection to a higher power and this? This is? Quite honestly, this is why you get your head, the tagline of spiritual dope, right? Is that spiritual high? Right, of that life high? And I think you just you just said that. So we, what is that for us? Is again, is it? Is it the spiritual high that kind of keeps you going that keeps you sober? Or is it the sobriety that led you there? Right? Or is it kind of chicken in the egg? Right? Yeah,
Randy Hyden 21:18
it’s it’s, you know, maybe so maybe no, it’s not dualistic thinking, however, I get, I came to this spiritual way of life, not by virtue, but circumstance. The 12 step is teaching you that get there are some disciplines and some actions to practice daily. For myself, I grew many times through the day of getting just getting centered. asking myself What’s more, what’s really important right now, what’s really happening, I’m just taking the 10 deep breaths, it’s just when I I’ll just, I’m just again, this is my mindfulness, I realized, I’m, I’m either dwelling in the past or projecting in the future, I’m not present in furniture, usually, when I’m catching it is because I’m just not at peace, I’m just kind of a little irritated and stuff. And because I’ve done enough times, being I’ve experienced what it is to have some common peace. I could notice when it’s been disruptive, before, it was just basically, dumb obedience, you know, which, again, you got to do this type of stuff, right? Want to get back to being restless, irritable, discontent, and, you know, needing to use the drugs and alcohol to supply what’s needed to find some kind of peace. I think a lot I feel a lot and with people, in addictions, in the spiritual ways, are a way to be able to still dance with those demons. And and Yeah, well, Karl yune, integration, work and all that kind of stuff. That’s, it’s not talked about in that way. But there’s methodologies in the 12 step program. It’s the personal inventory is getting clarity and confirmation all those causes and conditions that brought you to this point in life. Right? And without trying to go through all with what processes yet you everybody I’ve known that’s gone through that has a huge epiphany. For myself, the first time I did it,
Brandon Handley 23:23
decided the inventory.
Unknown Speaker 23:25
Yeah. Well, I
Brandon Handley 23:25
wanted to pause for one second that Randy because you mentioned a pretty good, a pretty good mindfulness habit that you’ve got. And kind of how to recognize, recognize when you’re out of out of peace, you said, right, when you’re not at peace, if you don’t mind, just talking about what that is, again, because one of the things that we’d like to be able to share here is, you know, practical application of this stuff, right? Not just all theory, like, you know, so sounded like you said, you know, if you find that you’re, you know, kind of your monkey mind stirring up or you’re, you’re finding some type of irritation you take you, you know, at that point in time that you are either living in the past or the future, and you take 10 centering breaths, is that what you do? Yeah, yeah. expand on that at all
Randy Hyden 24:16
right? Take the breath. So I’ll kind of ask myself, like, okay, what’s happening right now? Just take a few breaths, and just focus on you know, like a meditation, the cool air going in warmer air going out? And, yeah, then the answer comes to me, which again, is the point right now I’m actually kind of concerned because I’ve concluded countless times that it’s either fear or it’s love what’s going on, and again, if I’m out of peace, it’s some kind of fear. Because I, frankly, I use the word anxiety because people don’t like to talk about they’ve got fears and stuff. Sure. But the past is, you know, naturally leans more towards the word of regret. But yeah, fear that I won’t have something I prefer desire and lose something then I’m attached to, right? Um, you know, or my bullshit is going to get found out. Do ones that come up countless times, right? So being rigorously honest, minimizes the bullshit that’s going to get found out, right? And then understanding also, frankly, it’s all bullshit. Right? I know, myself, I don’t take it that seriously. And if you laugh at me, and you try to insult me and stuff, again, I just kind of frame it all up with that same way. It’s like, yep, you’re right, you know, thing.
Brandon Handley 25:38
Randy Hyden 25:39
But if there’s someone that I really am kind of attached to their opinion of me, we get typically I’m not conscious of that. Right? I respect you, Brandon, if you were to say something that may or may not have been designed to twist the knife, right? I felt a little Sting, say something, right? And sold or whatever. And it doesn’t mean it was intended to be that way, if I interpret it, is that that’s one of those disruptions? Yeah, no, I
Brandon Handley 26:09
and I love that you brought that up, I experienced that recently, myself, you know. And through these mindfulness practices, though, that you and I are talking about, I was able to, I was able to pinpoint, and I was like, Wait a second. You know, I’ve attached like an authority to this person, I’ve, I’ve given this something that I mean, that’s quite literally what I’ve done. I’ve given him power over me, right? whereas he has none. Right? And able to just to just notice it. And also notice, too, that could just be simply my interpretation of, like you said, my own bullshit, right? And just kind of, you know, being able to identify it and let it go.
Randy Hyden 26:54
Right, right. So again, that’s the thing is you can win. In that hypothetical situation, again, where I feel the same thing. That’s when I would first ask myself, you know, also just kind of, I didn’t feel good for myself, a lot of my, my attention gets around the neck and shoulders areas, everybody has it in some people in the gut and stuff, but you know, I feel this and it’s just like, okay, I asked, okay, what’s going on right now? Take a deep breath. Me, you know, get sometimes 10 sometimes it doesn’t take that many and stuff. And it’s just yeah, Allison identify? Well, I have put myself beneath Brandon. Right, right. Right. Right. Yeah. Okay. And then I can do it repeat over it a couple times. And it’s, it’s amazing ones becomes practice. Yeah, you just did. I can. Sometimes it’s, it’s less than 10 seconds. I’m back centered. stuff. And if I don’t have to do as deep of a inquiry into the situation,
Brandon Handley 27:51
right? What would that inquiry look like for you? Um, if you if you put me above you, what would that inquiry look like?
Randy Hyden 27:58
Thanks. That’s a great question. So it is I would think a lot, it would just be good. a million questions, you know, is, why am I doing this again, it would default much more to again, kind of the self loathing type of stuff. What the hell do I think he’s so great. Oh, my God, I embarrass myself this show. Listen, that, you know, it’s I think a lot of people have had moments.
Brandon Handley 28:22
Absolutely. You know, that’s why I think that this is this is, this is very helpful for for someone who hasn’t found that yet, or hasn’t identified it yet. As you and I are talking and as like I said, I just realized I did this just a couple weeks ago. You know, I was I taken a course where, you know, you were taught to identify whether or not you put someone above or below you, right, and really, no one is above or below you. But sometimes you do it by accident, right? Sometimes mentally, you just don’t recognize it. And it wasn’t, it wasn’t until recently that it did a little click right and like, Oh my God, that’s what just happened. So my hope is that if you know if you’re listening today, and you hear Randy talking about this, that this is something that if someone has pissed you off, if you feel hurt by someone, the good idea to ask the question, you know, where where have you positioned them in your life so that they could do so?
Randy Hyden 29:23
Yeah, yeah. And again, mature shorthand of that is what’s really important right now.
Brandon Handley 29:27
Yeah, I love that.
Unknown Speaker 29:28
Randy Hyden 29:31
It call it intuition subconscious, God, universe, whatever it is. There’s this small still voice that it began if I make space for it will remind me Oh, yeah. You think you’re above bread? Oh, you think you’re below four grand? And it’s just, it’s good. I don’t have to discuss it much more than that. It’s like, Oh, that’s what’s going on. Right now. We’re again in the past I would have turned this into, like 1000 word essay in between my ears. and stuff and then right you know, but yeah concluding is like okay so all that stuff is fear and really truly when I can take that and make that a whole lot less important again I’m not trying to present myself as some kind of guy that’s got it all figured out guru whatever I’m just sharing techniques and tips that have covered be a lot less alcoholic whatever behavior I exhibited when I was alcoholic I mean there’s a thing in the in the rooms if anybody’s in recovery you’ll hear a phrase called dry drunk talking about is you’re still thinking and feel the same way as when you were drinking you just have accidents going on. There’s no entity in that person’s wife. I mean no bullshit. The been in meetings where people told people to go get drunk. Wow. Because the egos you need to go get drunk right now. And, and not like it like one person would say and then would kind of echoed around the room because that person was just so far from peace. Now that I know some people might think that’s crazy. And all those kind of stuff my shirt and did happen reffer I remember exactly that day we were I was sitting in around the tables. But yeah, I mean, again, that’s just that kind of person where it’s just basically it’s it’s a knee jerk reaction to somebody being so aggressive and lashing out at everybody and stuff. That almost kind of retaliating in a way that could be interpreted as revenge, or at this time, it’s like, dude, oh, just go get drunk, man. Get out of this meeting. I don’t care if I ever see you again, kind of stuff out extreme and this person was proclaiming? I have no reason to doubt it like 30 some years of sobriety. Wow, good 30 years that you’ve been abstinent, but apparently you’ve never gone through and done one or two that we’re touching on here to try to diminish and minimize that. That and, but also want people to know that. You don’t have to necessarily have gonna say things extreme. Right? The chaos, the confusion, all that kind of stuff that addicts and alcoholics are getting the bottom. Right. You can it’s just human condition. Yeah, we’re getting we’re indoctrinated with a worldview around us. We’re here. We’re in North America, we’re materialists, we’re consumers and such. The media the messages that come around, you know, whether it’s through the official propaganda or the how that those messages are repeated, or, you know, in our, in our workplaces, around our homes and stuff, you know, we start adapting these things that didn’t work enough that we continue on with, you know, how does, how does this continue? Because there’s a little bit of usefulness.
Brandon Handley 32:55
Unknown Speaker 32:57
Enough in it,
Randy Hyden 32:58
the bonding, we have the commonality and stuff that but yeah, but in again, is it? It’s so difficult for me to say any other time than that, you know, just for a milestone of my sobriety date, November 6 2006. For me, too, because that was the first day Frankly, I think up until then, for last I don’t know how long because again, it’s just a blur. I didn’t care if I lived or die. Sure. And and suddenly, I didn’t care. Oh, you know, they they talked about, like divine intervention and stuff. I explained it any other way. Yeah, that was perfect buddy. Who goes on for years. And again, some days wishing I was dead. Just really? Don’t think it’s also now everything changed. Like that kind of stuff. But just the door cracked open enough. Also, and I was considering that. Yeah, you know, everything I desire. Anything I could commit to my education, my health, my career, my marriage. Anything that I could consider that I would commit to to try to make better was I school when I’m getting blackout drunk every night?
Brandon Handley 34:10
Yes. Not easy.
Randy Hyden 34:12
And, and that was the instead of the typical, okay, big deal. Now, it it bothered me.
Brandon Handley 34:20
Randy Hyden 34:20
I was like, man, maybe you really should stop doing this. And and that conclusion came it was just in the workplace. It was just a team building exercise, go around the table. Everybody around the table, identify somebody they respect that they you know, admire. And then the second rotation around the table was what characteristic does that person possess that you wish you possess more of? Right, render out Eric bepro best man at my wedding. So yeah. Um, Eric is a third degree black belt. He is a master technician for Nissan and Infiniti, Toyota and Lexus IS A GREAT dad, great musician. I mean, he’s the guy who, man if if he puts his mind to it, he does it. Right. First Response, I named him and I was going around thinking my head what my answer would be, I was gonna say discipline. But I realized the source of Eric’s discipline is commitment. Right? So again, when Eric makes a commitment, he honors it by his actions. Wow,
Brandon Handley 35:27
Dad love that. I love that
Randy Hyden 35:28
demonstrated that for me. And I knew, because we’re friends and such that this was something that was not like trying to, I don’t know, figure out how to do a manned spaceflight to Mars or something, right? You know, my friends can do it, then maybe I can do it. And he didn’t know at that point in time, we were two different. He’s in Las Vegas, I was in Southern California. So it wasn’t like we’re hanging around all the time. But again, somebody had demonstrated to me what it was like to be a man who could make commitments and be disciplined enough to achieve his goals in life. And therefore, you know, it wasn’t like, I don’t know, watching some movie where you know, you’re, you’re inspired by the hero and the story and all that kind of stuff. It wasn’t fictional. It was, it was very, very true. And, yeah, so that’s very powerful. And I, again, that happened over and over this last 14 years of people I would meet men I would meet, they would would have something that I wish I had a little bit more of. And I was very fortunate. The Psychology of this is that it’s kind of Shadow Work. What we are attracted to, is something we possess in ourselves. But now, some people may have also heard it referred to and can spot it, you got it in negative form. Absolutely. So those that those people that do things that annoy us, we find unattractive, that’s something we’re carrying in our shadow. So again, another practical tip, when I find someone who’s behaving in a manner that again, I can proclaim them to be a jerk. And write that, um, that’s a moment for me to reflect and it’s like going, how am I like that person? Right? Or, you know, so? Oh, yeah. And I can be a little more again, back to mindful I can just be conscious of the fact that I don’t want to be loud, rude, obnoxious, but I’m gonna dominant. an egomaniac with an inferiority complex was raised. Not sure. I don’t want to move through life. Okay, ready? Is it important enough for you to do something about it? Yeah. So again, having a mentor, a person that I admired, and something that I wished I could have more of, in, that they possess in their character? Yep, they could give me some tips, some techniques, couple, you know, shortcuts to how to say that I wouldn’t have to necessarily take as much trial and error process to figure out how to do this. And again, it’s always simple. You want to be more honest. Okay, just be more honest.
Brandon Handley 38:13
Right? It doesn’t have to be complicated. Now. One of the things you know, we do here spiritual dope is we talk about, you know, how do you take these, these kind of their revelations and usually, you know, just does what they are the kind of revelations of epiphanies and new ways of being and integrate that into your daily life. And what I want to read a little bit about what you put in what you put in information that is shared with me here is you know, what, what is more important right now immediate satisfaction or long term gratification, but this other piece really kind of stood out to me as well as so many people are working poor, plus, they’re doing a job they hate, we get clear on our highest values surround ourselves with people who share the same values, live in alignment with self evident principles, we can get clarity and confidence to be more like the person we were born to be. Which is an internal stuff I’m just going to finish read it because it’s really great and you know, touched me when I read it is an internal state of being we were not born to have anxiety, burnout, regrets, resentment and shame. That’s what’s covered in the beginning. I get those headshots less important to you, and you will easily recognize what makes you come alive and and then you will do it, then, you know. So, again, you know, how that feels good to say. Feels good to feel, you know, it feels good to read. What are some ways that you can suggest to people to apply it?
Randy Hyden 39:44
Well, first, thank you for sharing that. I know those are my words. When you read them. I’m like, Yeah, I did write that. Honestly, man is I’ve been talking about I’ve retained, I don’t know, 20% of that. But what I know when that was written it was very much Begin about just getting clear what’s important right now getting centered, and then float out.
Brandon Handley 40:05
Randy Hyden 40:06
And, and yeah, I’m just gonna go, that’s good, man.
Brandon Handley 40:11
That’s great. I mean, again, like, like I said in the beginning of the podcast, right, you know, something, we’re vessels for we’re vessels for creative energy, right? where, you know, if we look at God as the creator, were made his image, then we’re creators, two or four attached to God, Gods with him as well, you know, all one, then again, we are creators, we are vessels for creative creativity. You know, whatever that looks like to you is one thing or another. But when you communicate, and you and you share something out the way that you wrote there, that’s, you know, that’s truth flowing through you. And that you’re, you’re you’re needing to share with others. Right. And that’s, that is a creation in my mind.
Randy Hyden 40:53
Yeah, so they get so as I joked around and said, it’s like, it’s all bullshit and stuff, you know, a person just trying to be light hearted. But on the other hand, yeah, when you talk about truth, yeah, when I can get in that, quote, unquote, spiritual state, which, whatever that is, I’m no monk.
Brandon Handley 41:14
It’s a surrender state, right?
Randy Hyden 41:16
It’s a state of surrender. Again, it’s just again, the practice is just I do my breathing. I’m letting the noise in my head, dissipate in just calm down. And this just comes through. And it’s like, I’m collaborating with God. And it’s, this it comes back. I’ve said it already before a couple times, in stuff is. In fact, you have lots of words right now you just really can’t describe this you have to experience and it’s amazing. And it’s, it’s like life is better than you could ever ask for even even imagined. And, yeah, so therefore, again, default, you know, otters at god okay? I’m some some guests on my guest forgot, you know, kind of thing. I don’t, I don’t think I’ve had that many just flukes in my life. They’re just dumb luck, dude, something came out of you. And in fact, we haven’t really talked about this other thing. I’ve got a collection of writings when I went through my going to talk about my friend Alan and him eventually becoming my sponsor, Alan had I don’t know what it was an aneurism or what exactly it was. But basically it was were a spinal cord went to his brain, it exploded where the to attack. And yeah, and I was overly dependent super codependent on this man. Right? He couldn’t talk, he was doing care and all this kind of stuff. I mean, it was a major thing. It took him probably eight months before he could even like point at letters, spelling things, things out. And because I was so relying upon him to process things that were percolating in my head. I was very fortunate, a mutual friend suggested start journaling. So I’ve Frankly, I got a collection of a bunch of stuff that I would read to my wife. Similar you just read that to me, and she’d come back was she goes, did you write that? I talked to you every day and you don’t talk like that stuff. But it was again it was not by virtue but circumstance that I was processing shit that had to come out. And and because my ego my wind and stuff, trying to discern whether this was something that is politically correct, or you know, is appropriate for for this conversation and stuff and get my being so much in my head, and instead trying to find some balance between the head and the heart stuff coming out that all Yeah, you know, this is where I guess this is like a lot of my low self esteem. And think I wasn’t capable, I wasn’t worthy of really being the man that against that I aspired to be also and it’s just like, dude, you’re you’re not as big of a piece of shit as you think you are. I you know, counteract that I did get through my grandiosity and I had to get my moments of humility to come back. And when I was good about man, it’s like I am either. Not right of it. I think it’s the pendulum still rocks back and forth with those 100% but it’s not as far and therefore it’s not as long and there’s, there’s a lot more time where I can be centered, I can be in alignment. And I know I’m really grateful that I’m still alive.
Brandon Handley 44:39
Randy Hyden 44:40
I’m old. For some people. It’s just again, just, you know, start going against it as you get older. But yeah, we all went at it pretty hard. When we were younger. I was no longer here and Alan died a sober man, but there were two other guys. He was smoking. When I was around mark, Marty and Tim, and I was envious of them, they hadn’t made the progress they had had had the spiritual awakening before. I did. I wanted that and stuff. And for whatever reason, it didn’t seem to stick with that. Of the four core of us. I’m the only one who’s still on this planet. Wow. Yeah. Well, I mean, I know why they’re gone and why I’m still here. But my back to guessing and in such is I think this recovery was not just for me, either. There’s a big reason to my motivation behind this one, as you know, was instilled upon me, and it’s out of gratitude. Have men helped me that I want to help people, this law of reciprocity. But yeah, I shares we’re talking right now, Brandon, everything that I’m doing right now, is is is my desire to share freely as it was freely given to me the opportunity to see these principles to see these processes, but basically, the principles and process of a 12 step thing is a 12. is no one’s ever heard the 12 step before. The 12 step is having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps. We practice these principles in all airfares, and try to help the person who’s still suffering.
Brandon Handley 46:15
Not I mean, look, I love that right. I definitely love that. Well, let’s, let’s let’s um, you know, let’s we’re winding down, I want to just give the opportunity for you to chat a little bit about what people can expect and when we can expect the sober, soulful, successful summit.
Randy Hyden 46:34
I should be better prepared. I don’t have the exact dates. We’ll call it middle middle of January. Okay. So yeah, very, very grateful for this at that. Yeah, I just kind of popped into some Facebook groups and stuff. And some people I’ve known over the years, I have like 30 people that want to be presenters. Wow. At this, it’s, it’s amazing. Yeah, we’ll kind of see how as things progress, who loses interest and this stuff. Um, but yeah, so basically, again, with if you’ve ever been to a music festival, and over three days, and each day, there’s the headliner. And then you have the supporting acts. So if you can figure One day, the like the Friday would be super. And the headliner for the second day, it’s so full. And then the third, third day successful. Now, again, these all are part of a fabric they all intertwine, and again, these people I envisioning, and where they could probably get plugged in on any day, but it’s their presentation. It’s their moment, I’m really just facilitating, then the opportunity presented to an audience we’re going to have. But yeah, if you could imagine you go to a concert, you want to see the headlining band, but you heard one of the opening acts, and you’ve never heard of them before. But after their performance, after what they share, you go, oh my god, I want all the records now. And now I go through there, and they hear something that they want, and then they’d like more of it. Well, they’ll be kind of like, what we’re doing right now is, tell me a little bit more if they want, want to connect with you. But also, that’s where this flow community is all these presenters and more, we’re gonna have like 30 people, or more, my intention is even more in the community that have gone through the problems, and they’ve gone through their pains, they’ve processed the trauma, but also got clarity on their passion, what they’re being drawn towards, and, and basically wanting to pay it forward in this in this online community called flow state of being present in the state of flow. And I’m really, really excited because again, the premise is that, you know, somebody might did what I say, and we can connect, and we can have something that again, it’s hard to describe, but maybe not. And again, that’s Genesis a quad like something that you present somebody who could connect with what you you’re sharing your language, your emphasis more so than me, and that’s fine. So again, we’re just kind of stacking the debt, we’re increasing the odds, if somebody comes in there, and like myself, I didn’t know what was going on, I just knew I was miserable. You come in there, it’s a place of respect, kindness, you know, and, and it can, one of the ground rules will be if you want to, you got to vent there’ll be a section or called Get it off your chest. Like, you got to vent and stuff, but you can’t. You can’t do the stuff you see in social media, people make it if I disagree with you, and stuff, then I’m going to try to win the argument in a Facebook post and stuff and persuade you to think the same way I have this right. You know, hey, if you want that, hey, there’s this thing called Facebook. But if you’d like to have a situation where you’re connecting with other people that are on this path of again, Randy, let’s be clear, real quick. you’re developing this platform off of Facebook then as well right so flow is outside of Facebook, and In its own community, is that correct? Yeah, yeah, it’s on the circle platform, it’ll be developing will be launched that will be in the next 30 days, because what I want to do is have something going on. So when the summit happens, and people want to go to it, there’s already people instead of a ghost town.
Brandon Handley 50:16
I got a question for you though, too. I mean, could you know, you know, do you, do you feel now two things one, do? Can you imagine, you know, 13 years ago and seeing yourself do this now, that’s one and two, you know, a big part of what it sounds like you’re doing is, you know, you’re, you talked about it early on, you know, cheese here, you’re moving with less resistance, you’re moving with purpose and intention. Sounds like you’re trying to and you really are. Serve something greater than yourself.
Randy Hyden 50:50
Yes. Thanks for recognizing it’s cool. It’s, it’s a good compliment. I like that. Yes, I am intentional on that. And in regards to the first part of the question. Yeah, I used to say what I get I do have a Judeo Christian, you know, basis for my view. But yeah, I would talk to people and say, Look, I could sit across the table from Jesus Christ. And I know for sure, this is us. And then we can substitute Buddha whoever or whoever and kind of stuff. But this divine person pretty much got it all figured out and knows who I am and can say, hey, yeah, 13 years down the road, Randy, this this and this is going to happen for you. And I’d be like, you know, dude, I heard every word you said. But you’re gonna have to repeat it back because as far as I’m concerned, you got me confused with some other Randy dude. Right? Right. This is not me, right. But yeah, now that you can back to the incoming into we’ve got to experience once we go through this stuff. Yeah, my confidence is my clarity is increasing or getting sharper. My confidence levels are rising that I can practice imperfect action. And which I one thing here real quick. So in that again, the it church, the pastor de Brisbane, another mentor of mine, and such. He was talking about how the Hebrew culture 2000 years ago, the time time the Jew, Jesus walked around their concept of the Word Perfect, met, lacking nothing. So again, Randy, most of the time up until he shared that with me, perfect was getting my way. You know, I have my preferences. I have my attachments a perfect world, this would happen and this Right, right, right. You know, and so but with that concept, do I lack anything?
Brandon Handley 52:47
Randy Hyden 52:48
No. And so that’s about the most most spiritual thing right now. This is the latest epiphany. epiphany for Randy is Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 52:59
I lack nothing. That’s great.
Randy Hyden 53:01
I walk I get to walk around the block this morning, beautiful day as I’m walking around here and the birds. And I just everything was okay. Yeah, my three, I’m safe. Have my health I have people that I love. There’s people love me. You know, I have a vision. It’s, it’s coming forward.
Brandon Handley 53:22
Powerful, too. You know, if you don’t mind, I think that I think that what is your idea of vision? And you know, what does that mean? mean to you?
Randy Hyden 53:33
Well, you know, you can we’ve been talking about my vision it in that way. But, you know, I think for myself a lot of times what I would call purpose, or my calling. Dr. Stephen Covey called it your voice. In such. For me, it’s something that’s really important, but it’s also benefits others. So first, someone else again, on the exterior, whatever it is, what’s important to you, and then back to get it. Perhaps you want to be a pastor priest, you know, guru and stuff and you want to share enlightenment with other people. Okay, that’s something that again, just resonates with you again, my definition of spirituality is that that what animates life and what just makes me just be more alive than normal. But I have no concept of time I’m gonna just present and everything Life is good. But then again, maybe somebody’s purpose is just to be the dad they didn’t have Yeah, look, I mean, they feel great being the dad right. And and it’s obviously gonna benefit the kids. Yeah, I
Brandon Handley 54:43
mean, there’s beauty in that right. It’s just I think the the idea that you said to on vision is this kind of greater than yourself, right includes others has has purpose and feeling involved in it. sighs this guy says curious what your take was. And, you know, how important do you feel like it is for you to have this vision?
Randy Hyden 55:07
Well, when I, when I was newly sober, it was what kept me sober. And in this vision I’ve been sharing with you, and with people listening here and stuff, it’s evolved over the course of time. But it’s been in North Star for me is, you know, trying to bring the principles in the process, the 12 steps. Initially, it was because I was going to church I was considering vocation would be in a pastor and stuff, bringing that to the church community and bringing more of the church community to recovery, and all that kind of stuff kind of being a bridge. So read my earlier writings are much, much more Christian in their orientation, good or bad. It’s just again, I could reflect and see where my head was at that. But yeah, on the other hand, you know, it’s, again, to be intentional to be in a state of flow is to be focused, okay, so am I going to just be focused on the moment or in this conversation is a piece that will, you know, it’s presenting the vision to someone else, it is a marketing, it is a brand people again, I’m just being myself, you know, but it is in a shaper for his uncle Jimbo said, Just be yourself. So again, this is intentional in the process of bringing it forth, you know, so more people can know about what something is really important to me. And, again, it’s really interesting how, again, I’m meeting people like yourself, that I never get one, we known each other for a short period of time, definitely listen six, six months, and we’ve only had a few conversations, but I really enjoyed what you put on Facebook, I really enjoy our conversations. And and again, there’s more of you, that have been coming together. This is the third conversation today, of people that they get all at all, are just really the beginning of a friendship of a relationship. And as we choked around again, I made it’s proving to me that I am in a frequency level that is attracting people also at that other higher frequency level.
Brandon Handley 57:09
Randy Hyden 57:10
love that is really super, because it’s back to I don’t trying to find balance between the subjective and the objective. Okay, and again, here suggested being basically my personal preferences, my opinions and interpretations of moments and such. But the objective kind of just being too close to 401 can be four as well, too. But you know what I mean, just trying to be and when involves human beings, again, it’s, it’s like we go into a court of law, it’s in perfect, but it’s the best way guy is when you’ve got three or four people that are verifying the facts of something happening, then there’s this guy called the judge or gala call, the judge that looks at all these different things and comes finds the commonalities and conclusions is with us is what we’ve been talking about.
Brandon Handley 57:58
Yeah. I mean, that’s the thing, too, right? I’m glad you brought that up. I mean, you get what you put out, right. And this is just another example. Or you get what you put out, and the idea of, you know, kind of what you seek is seeking you. Right. And so I think that that’s, that’s a little bit about what this exemplifies? So, Randy, I mean, this is, it’s been an awesome conversation. I feel like, you know, we could definitely, you know, have many of these, and I think that we will, I’m looking forward to two more of them. But for now, we got to close it on down. And what I want to do is let people know where they can come find out more about Randy Hyde, and where should we go to find you?
Randy Hyden 58:41
Well, if you’re on Facebook, attitude of gratitude, or a attitude of gratitude, long story on that. Yeah, the in 30 days, if you’re listening to it for 30 days, or this time we’re recording it. Flow is just www FL Oh, ah, it’s all I could get for a URL for the workflow. But afterwards, I was like, like, oh, whoa, I think it’s gonna work. And then there is a website called Attitude of Gratitude as well. That’s back to where like when I talked about where it was more about leading people in gardens and stuff that’s going to be revised soon. But yeah, and then, I guess I probably get a website going for this, you know, silver, soulful, successful thing. That’ll be, that’ll be in Facebook land. Promoting that. And again, I’m very fortunate. There’s a lot of other people that believe in it, support it and think it’s a good idea too. So yeah, that’ll be happening in January. So
Brandon Handley 59:47
awesome, man. Well, thank you so much for thanks for thanks so much for stopping by and hanging out today.
Randy Hyden 59:51
Thank you. Again, thank you so much.
Unknown Speaker 59:54
We really hope you enjoyed this episode of the spiritual dove podcast. stay connected with us. through spiritual dope.co You can also join the discussion on Facebook, spiritual dope, and Instagram and spiritual underscore Joe. If you would like to speak with us, send us an email through Brandon at spiritual dope Darko. And as always, thank you for cultivating your mindset and creating a better reality. This includes the most thought provoking part of your day. Don’t forget to like and subscribe to stay fully up to date. Until next time, be kind yourself and trust your intuition.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai