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Join in the conversation as we host Elyse Archer of She Sells this week on Spiritual Dope.

Connect with Elyse over at: https://elysearcher.com/

Also, Elyse, mentioned the book The Diamond Cutter, check it out below:

Brandon Handley 0:00
321 Hey there spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here. The voice of a generation as we know, Mays was self self indulge every once in a while and I’m on with a quite somebody quite special Elise Archer. And I’m just gonna, I’m gonna let her do the bio for herself in a second here. But before I do that, like Elise is the reason I do a podcast. Right? Before I met Elise, I’d never listened to a podcast, or I was like, fuck podcasts. Like, that’s not for me. And when I when I met Elise, Alicia, we’re doing your podcast with Greg and, Mark. Good. Morning. Yeah. And, you know, and then you know, we’re connecting at some of the networking events. And then I eventually hired you as my coach. And then when we got through the coach, it was for sales coaching, we got midway through the coaching. And I was like, This is more like, I’m getting life coach than sales coach. And and it’s okay, because it’s transferable, but like, as like, Well, you know, what, at least what we’ve been working on, like, it’s been the sales, but I really want to do this, like podcasts, and I was fully expecting you to be like, eyes on the prize brand and focus on what you said you were gonna focus on and you got it. And instead of doing that, instead of doing that, you’re like, well, how can I help you? Right, and you connect them with some other people. And that moment that that was like a life changing moment for me. So thank you for that. And I’m gonna let you do your own little brief intro. Like Elise, what do you all about? And share a little bit of that? And then we’ll get it going.

Elyse Archer 1:36
Oh, my gosh, I love that. Yeah, it’s it’s so cool, just to see what you’ve created in a short amount of time and to see the evolution of it as well. So yeah, thank you so much. I was just thinking before cutting on his podcast, this is so much fun for me, because I do most of the podcast interviews I do or straight business sales, personal branding. And so this is pushing my limits, because this is actually the stuff I care about, like this is, this is the real, I feel like everything I do in the sales and business world is kind of the Trojan horse to try to like, talk to people about spirituality and help them just develop and grow personally. So this is so much fun. Okay, so with that about me, I’m a new mom. So I’ve got a little boy, he’s six months old. And that’s so much fun. Yeah, yeah, it’s the best. I love it. I didn’t know how I was gonna feel elevated. I

Unknown Speaker 2:24
know.

Elyse Archer 2:26
My gosh, No, I know. And he’s kind of he’s past that, like the blob stage now. So he’s doing things which was, but especially for my husband, Jason, I think it’s more fun for him now that he can interact. And, yeah, I’m a business owner. So I do a couple different things. I’m a founding team member of a company called brandbuilders group or a personal brand, strategy firm. And then I also recently launched another brand that I’m running called T cells. And it’s a it’s basically sales, training and mentoring for women who want to break through six figures and learn to sell in a way that feels really authentic to them. And we can, you know, take this conversation wherever you want it to go. But that’s a lot of my background is coming from corporate sales and seeing, you know, sales and business strategies celebrated that, frankly, made me feel like crud when I implemented them, because they either kind of blurred the lines of integrity, or were all about Push, push, push, hustle, and I did it, I did what I was taught, and I financially, I did pretty well. But it was really, really detrimental to not just my mental health, my physical health too. And so a lot of my own journey has been about I would say, reconnecting with myself, like how I’m actually wired, how I was innately designed and learning to trust myself, trust my instincts, trust my body, trust my intuition. And, and I’m really lit up now about helping everyone do that. But specifically, I my brand really is catering to women, because I think so much of what we’re taught, just growing up is like, we, you know, our bodies look wrong, or they’re not the way they should be, or they’re for other people’s pleasure. And it’s just, it’s really disempowering. And so, I’m so passionate about helping myself reconnect with my power and then helping other women reconnect with their power as well. So that’s, that’s a little sliver of what I’m all about.

Brandon Handley 4:15
Just a tidbit.

Unknown Speaker 4:16
Yeah. Just a little bit.

Brandon Handley 4:18
I love it. I love it, you know. And again, you know, when we connected, it was just, I think it was a, it was just an interesting journey. You You and I are connection, right? And just kind of how that how that all? We’ll call it manifested. And let’s start off with the first question that so we have all day to talk. So usually like to start us off with, you talked about connecting with your power always align it with like source, right? So the idea is that source speaks through us to speak to somebody else, right, you kind of get this divine inspiration to share something with somebody else. So the deal is there’s somebody listening to this podcast today that needs you to kind of ignite them to connect them to their power through a message. And what does that message to that person today? At least?

Elyse Archer 5:08
I love that question. I mean, the biggest thing that shows up for me is to trust yourself. That’s like I said, that’s so much of what I feel inspired to share with this brand. And like I mentioned before, a lot of my journey, especially in my teens, and 20s, were, it was it was not trusting myself, and whether that was not not being proud of my body. And I struggled with an eating disorder for 17 years, or feeling like something was just off with, like a client situation or something I was being told to do at work. All the way to, you know, when we got pregnant for the first time, a couple years ago, I went into sheer panic, that I was like, I just, I felt like I was going to lose the pregnancy. And I went into sheer panic about it. Sure enough, we miscarried. And I learned in that moment, I didn’t trust my body. And it’s been so interesting, this journey of learning to I think a lot of times we have to like kind of be brought to our knees to be able to be open to whatever that that message is that we’re meant to receive, and then carry forth into the world for other people. And that was it for me. But then even talking with my mom about it, a lot of her own experience, too, was she didn’t trust her body. And I think a lot of this stuff goes back generationally. So you know that, whatever that thing is that you feel like you want to do, but you can’t do or you have this intuition to do something or you’re like that logically doesn’t make sense. If I could encourage someone to listen to it, and trust that it doesn’t have to make sense for anyone other than you and to kind of stop looking outside of yourself. Even I promise, I’ll be quiet in a second. So you can respond or ask your next question. But I think about the coach I’m working with right now like this was I just did a pretty big financial investment to work with a new coach. And I knew that it was going to trigger all of my scarcity mindset that I was part of me was still clinging on to I knew it. And sure enough, a couple of weeks in it did. And I knew in my core, my intuition this whole time that it was the right move. But logically, it would not be anything that my dad would have told me to do, it would have been anything that a lot of even business mentors, who I look up to would tell me to do and I was on a call with her a couple weeks ago, and I said, I found myself going into panic about making the wrong decision. She was like, when do you find yourself going into panic about that. And I said, usually I’m reading, it’s when I’m reading like a business book, or I’m listening to financial management training from somebody else. And she was like, stop it, cut it off for the next three weeks, no consumption of any of that stuff. And I cut it off, and I feel so at peace. So it’s not that we want to not learn and educate ourselves and challenge our thinking. But I think at the end of the day, you know, your best path for you. And you have to trust that everything that you’re doing and when you act on those instincts, it’s always unfolding for the greater good and for your greater good. So sometimes just putting those blinders on and trusting that you know, what you need to do, is the most powerful thing you can do. So that would be my message.

Brandon Handley 8:14
After keeping it short.

Unknown Speaker 8:15
I’m gonna be all day

Brandon Handley 8:20
I kid I kid I love it. I love it all like and one of the parts where you brought it to know you had to kind of come to your knees right to just kind of accept your your intuition piece for a lot of people would you consider that? You? d a fearful, dark night of the soul for you? Would you consider that a moment of a or maybe like even a dark night of the soul? Whatever, right? And then and then, you know, there’s the idea I love I love what you’re saying there with with your coach, because I bet you it’s almost like it’s almost like a deprivation for you knowing how much you consume to improve or be better or find another technique or whatever, right? Like Hmm, I have to cut all that off. Right like so you probably feel a little bit like a junkie having to withdraw from that at least look and I know this from my own experience, right? I’m like, I’m like What do you mean? Don’t Don’t do it all like right now.

Elyse Archer 9:16
So it was in that did one thing I’ll just add to that is like, she really kind of pushed me with that cuz she was I was like, but I love learning and learning is good. And I love reading. She was like, that’s your comfort zone. She said, study yourself for three weeks. Just study yourself. Whoa, this is so uncomfortable. But that’s right. That’s what we need.

Brandon Handley 9:33
Well, that’s tough, too. Right. So jumping in there and studying yourself. And what I’ll throw in there though, too, is like, so it’s very, I’m still going through this book again. Right? Like, are you ready to succeed? I can’t remember if I saw I might have sent you one too. I can’t recall if I did. I think I sent you have a kid’s book that isn’t yours. Yeah, I

Elyse Archer 9:50
don’t I’m not familiar with this book. So

Brandon Handley 9:52
this is Sreekumar Rao. This is actually by way of Elise Archer at some point. It was back in the day when we were doing the coaching There was a guy that I looked up Sreekumar Rao on like, you know, you are hardwired for happiness, right? And turned out like, you almost cried, watching his little story or whatever. And I was like, Alright, well, I gotta get his book, got his book, yada yada went through it. But one of the pieces in here it’s just really talks about there’s two pieces in here that you’re saying that resonate with me. And one is like, talking about putting all that effort in, right? Like I gotta do I gotta do I got consumed content consume content, you were finding like each time you like power, something that didn’t correlate with how you were feeling or doing it was like, it was like, striking the wrong chord. Right? Quite literally. It’s like, you’re like that is that is out of that is that’s out of tune with who I am. Oh, my God, I need to make an adjustment because this person, you wrote this book, he’s an authority. Right? He

Unknown Speaker 10:48
knows. Oh, my gosh, I

Brandon Handley 10:50
shouldn’t Holy shit. Did I do the wrong thing? Right. So that that’s one piece, right? is to not let the wrong thought in your head. Right? It’s better. It’s like better like like literally cut yourself like with a razor. He says in this book, this came from like a Swami. Right? It’s better to cut yourself like a razor than to let the wrong thought into your head. Hmm. Right. which I know sounds to me. Like, you know, that’s that’s kind of what was happening to you. Like, you know, you’re you’re on your path. But you’re like, you like this guy’s awesome. I love 98% of what he does. But this piece right here is just like a BB in my mind, right? breaking all my shit. And thank you so much. Right? And then and then the other piece is like, we’re trying to do it so fast. Right? We’re trying to we’re trying to do is we want it so bad. We’re trying to do it so fast. There’s another story in this book where he talks about the idea of, you know, if you try to do it so fast, and with so much energy, it’s actually gonna take twice as long. So it sounds like your coach sounds really similar to what your coach is saying is they stop taking all this like outside influence and jam in all this into your cranium. Study yourself, trust yourself. And that’s what you’re saying to is like, kind of trust yourself and believe in yourself and kind of tune out all the other shit.

Elyse Archer 12:01
Yeah, well, that’s so interesting what you said about if you try to like, push and force it into it so fast, it’ll take twice as long. It’s interesting. I hadn’t thought about it like that. But because it’s counterintuitive. It makes a heck of a lot of sense. Because you’re kind of going up river versus letting yourself flow and stuff, right?

Brandon Handley 12:18
Yeah. here’s, here’s how, like, I’ve visualized it more recently. And this is like, this year, right? Imagine, like, you feel like you’re literally putting all the thought energy or whatever things, right? If we’re putting all this energy into this place, right? Then nothing can get in. So if we create space for something to come in, right, if we back up for a second, and let it come to us, then it comes to us, right? Because otherwise we’re blocking it. We’re like, I’ve got to put everything into this spiritual energy, right? Like, I’ve got to put all of my, you know, essence energy into this thing. And I want it so bad. If it doesn’t, we’ve got all these things caught up with it. And instead of like, I do really want it I want it really bad, but like, I want it and kind of like, the way I like flowers and, you know, gardens and stuff where if I go and I plan it, you know, there’s that whole other thing to where, like, you know, if you plant something you don’t keep pulling it up, right? And check into the roots and be like, you plan it. Come back up. Yes, it does what it’s supposed to do. Yeah, it’ll do anyways. And those are some thoughts that are like, you know, coming on mine is I’m hearing your story, right? I’m hearing like your coaching unfold. So thanks for letting me ramble on

Elyse Archer 13:26
I love this. This is no I feel like I’m getting a good like a spiritual lesson from you. And this this is awesome

Brandon Handley 13:31
was so that was so here’s the other thing, right? Like Elise guys is I went through like my quote unquote, like a call, quote, unquote, because nobody can like point a finger and say, Hey, that was an awakening experience. But remember, if you don’t remember that time, I called you up. I

Unknown Speaker 13:43
was like, Oh, yes,

Brandon Handley 13:44
I went through some shit. I don’t know what it is. And it’s like an awakening experience. So Lisa’s been again, guys that’s, you know, just want to share our relationship with the people that are listening, right, and how this kind of all came together. You came to me as like a sales coach. But what ends up happening was all this inner work that I hadn’t done before for personal growth, and it manifested into culminated into like kind of an awakening experience. Right. And from there, we still maintained and again, that was another thing where you were like, Well tell me more about that, like, because you’re just as excited as I was for that, too. So I think that that’s says a lot about kind of who you are and what you accept in your life. So I do want to hear like, you know, how you talked about helping people find themselves spiritually through your own process. And I’d like to hear how you’re doing that. Because what happened with me might not have been intentional. And and, you know, how do you feel like you’re doing it intentionally right now?

Unknown Speaker 14:43
Oh, wow.

Elyse Archer 14:45
Yeah, gosh, I don’t so I don’t have like an intentional method to it. I think it’s more me think about that cuz I want to actually, I want to, I want to think about what the right or just what the true answer is for me there. I think I think for me, a lot of my own journey has been around overcoming a lot of feelings of unworthiness and worthlessness. And I think a lot of that is conditioned, that’s part of why a lot of the, like the clients I work with are in a business environment in a business setting. And so a lot of times they’ll come for, you know, I want to make more money, or I want to grow my personal brand and presence and just through that process, usually what comes up is, are there tactical, pragmatic things that they can do to do that? Absolutely. But also, and I think the more important thing is we dig into just limiting beliefs that are showing up for them around, you know, I want to make this amount of money, but even the word want means you don’t have it, right. So it especially the women, I work with those, those cut, you hear more than their story. And they talk about feeling unworthy or scared to show up or scared to speak up. And it doesn’t matter how good your website is, or how good your sales process is, if you have that limiting view of yourself, you’re only going to be able to operate within a box that’s like this big right? And get results that are about that big. So I really like I said, I don’t have a set processes, something I’m kind of like working on developing on right now. Because I do want to be able to take people through a more like a more intentional process. For me, it’s typically kind of intuitive with my clients. But that’s usually what I’m listening for when I hear my clients talk is, what are they actually saying about themselves. I was on a call with a potential client the other day. And the first thing she said when she got on our call was she said, Oh, you know, I’m just sitting here procrastinating, like I always do. And she’s a woman who wants to break through six figures this year in her business, and she’s a go getter. And she you can tell like she’s you know, she’s an aggressive goal getter. But the first thing I said was, whatever you describe you prescribed, right. So if you’re sitting there saying, I’m procrastinating, like I always do, you’re going to continue to procrastinate on accomplishing your goals on making your sales calls on whatever it is. So I just I think because so much of my own journey involves poor self talk poor or poor self image, I can hear it, and I can see it and other people. And then that’s what I try to pull out. Because usually we’re just we’re not even aware of it. It’s so ingrained in how we think and how we talk. And most of the people around us usually use disempowering language and thoughts. And so it’s kind of just part of our society. But once you realize, once you’re aware of it, you can’t unknow it. Right. And so I care so much now for myself about how I feel and how I speak about myself. And I try to get my clients to that same level of self awareness. Because the tactical stuff is like 5% of the actual process, the 95% of it is how you think and what you believe you deserve. So I don’t know if that answered the question. Like I said, there’s not a real thought out process. It’s super intuitive for me, but that’s, um, that’s that’s kind of how I do it

Brandon Handley 18:01
a little bit. I mean, it sounds like there is right, so the process is to kind of just identify where they are, right? You know, are they saying something that, you know, you’ve been able to get look as, I don’t think it’s any different than being a doctor, right? Kind of, when, when you first start off, you’re like, maybe I shouldn’t amputate that leg, I don’t know. But I’m gonna go ahead and I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go ahead and cut that one off, you’re doing the same thing with like somebody limiting beliefs, right? Or identifying it. And over time, over time, like you become skilled enough to be like, Oh, that’s this. That’s this. That’s this. That’s this just because of your exposure, experience. And then your own way of working with people in that space, seeing what works. A lot of these things that you’re using a lot of the tools that you’re using, I’m guessing, aren’t brand new, right? These are tools that have been around for quite some time that have had success for years and years and years. It’s just how do you how do you share those tools with these people? So what would be like one thing that you help? Like, when you identify like a limiting belief within somebody else? Right? How do you how do you identify that for somebody to get them past that? Yeah, well, I

Elyse Archer 19:07
think the first thing is just reflecting it back to them. So that’s part of where there is value in having a coach a mentor, just somebody who can hear how you talk. And and actually help help you become aware and almost be a mirror for Do you realize you just said that? Because like I said, oftentimes, our language is so it is it is so subconscious, we don’t even realize we’re saying it. So it’s like, hey, do you realize you just said that? And then oftentimes people don’t even realize it’s a problem. They’re like, well, so you know, so what? So what did I said that and I think so for some people, they’re already really into law of attraction and, and positive self talk, but for a lot of people I work with, they’re not familiar with, with what that means, and how it how it impacts them. So we talked about, you know, whatever you’re saying you’re giving a command to your subconscious to create this thing in your life. And so we start to look at what’s a new and better and different way you could say that The other thing that has been really profoundly transformational for me in my life and that I recommend for a lot of my clients is Joe dispenza his meditations like I am, I’m guessing you follow Him, and I’m such a fan of his work. But every single morning, I’m doing those meditations. And I asked my clients to do the same, and it helps you start to feel the feelings of abundance, genius. Courage, right? All those things that, that we want to embody. And so I get all my clients doing that, as long as they’re open to it, and that is pretty darn transformational as well.

Brandon Handley 20:40
Now, 100%, right, yeah, Joe dispenza is great. He’s one, there’s one that I listened not not even. Not even a meditation, but he’s got like a 10 minute piece that like I listened to all the time. It’s just, it just reminds me like not to look at like, not to look at my social media first thing in the day not to, you know, to retune yourself, right, like to retune your your whole, you know, your whole experience? Do you live life on your terms? Not according to what kind of everybody else is already doing? And that’s why I enjoy him and that. So meditation, getting them to connect with the meditations? Or where did you find that to be kind of like the game changer? a game changer for you? Hmm.

Elyse Archer 21:24
You know, it’s so I’ve been meditating off and on for probably five years, probably, well, I really longer than that, but like, actually really going for it for about five years. But I would say it’s, I kind of, I would do it for a while, and then I’d get off of it. Because it was like, you know, I’m still I still was in the mindset of i, this time would be so much better spent if I was sending emails or creating the social media posts. So I was still in that mindset. And really, I would say, it’s, it’s honestly been more in the past few months that it’s kicked in, for me how critically important it is. Where, even though I think I had done a fair amount of work on releasing anxiety, and like I mentioned, like not trusting myself and stuff. So I’d gotten to a pretty good place about 12 months ago, but I still would have almost this low grade anxiety running all the time in the background, especially on Sunday nights, looking at the week ahead of like, Oh, you know, I’ve just I’ve still got all this stuff that’s been done that I thought I was gonna try to get done this weekend, did I just piled too much on my plate, and then I would kind of beat myself up about just not being, you know, good enough. And I Gosh, if I was better, I could have gotten this done. So it was this habit in this perpetual like cycle that my body was almost addicted to the feeling and the anxiety. And some time, I think sometimes we just have a moment. And for me, I just had a moment, I was like, doing it this way, has gotten me this result. I’ve been feeling this low grade anxiety for years for most of my life. What if I didn’t have to feel that way? What if that wasn’t the reality for everybody? What if I was what if it was just a decision that I was going to feel differently. And that’s when I started really doubling down into a lot of Joe’s work, and into just studying, you know, the different energy centers of the body and how to get them in coherence. And I will say, I mean, it’s a very short time as of the recording of this interview, but for about a week now, I’ve had really consistent checks up brain heart coherence, where you just you feel like in the flow all the time, no matter what. I had that for about a week, and it’s been so transformational. Like, I’m not afraid of anything that’s coming, I’m not anxious, I’m at peace, I’m present. With the people I’m talking to. I’m excited. I’m not triggered by stuff the way I was. And it’s just it’s a totally different, I was able to get there like a little bit before and I could get there and kind of keep it for a while during my meditations. But then something would happen in life, and it would trigger me or throw me off and I’d have to like work to get back. And it’s been really darn consistent. For like I said, about seven days. And I think it’s it was just a decision of, I can have this all the time if I want. And so now i’m i’m showing up on that meditation, that was some ferocity my friend cuz he’s like, Oh, this is good, how much? How much better could it get?

Brandon Handley 24:19
You show it to meditation be like, I’m gonna take this bitch down. Yes. So so that’s great. So there’s, there’s a word that I use in tandem kind of with, with with, with what you’re talking about there. And that’s the word numinous. Right? Like where you’ve got this connection to source and it’s just effervescent. And it sounds like that’s been your week, right? Nothing can derail that, right? There’s nothing stronger than it and there’s no worry, you’ve given yourself some trust, you’ve given yourself some grace. And there’s a it’s just such a great feeling, right? Like how did happen and where’s and it’s always been available. Right, that’s the thing like to you’re like, well, all I had to do was make a decision to make this a conscious choice.

Elyse Archer 25:06
That was it. Yeah, that and it’s and it’s not like nothing has happened, like, I got a mega tax bill I wasn’t expecting because of a miscommunication with my accountant. And in the past that would have that would have thrown me, you know, and this I was like, okay, like, I, you know, I am being honest, it threw me for a couple minutes. And then I just like I’m snapping back into it, because nothing is worth sacrificing this level of vibration and awareness and feeling nothing. So we’re just going to do it and move on. Yeah,

Brandon Handley 25:37
yeah, no, absolutely. 100%. Right. So I thought I definitely talked about this in my process, too, right? To where you make the decision, right, literally, like, so I created that, you know, this thing called the divine framework, right, the first piece of the first piece of this puzzle that you just talked about, is to make the decision. Yes. Right. Like, this is it? This is I’m going for it. Right. But the one thing that, you know, you talked about, like kind of this belief system, you talked about the boxes right and and discover on uncovering kind of like the those limitations, right? Those self imposed limitations. It’s kind of like this whole mindset thing. This is just how spirituality has kind of shown itself for me, right? Like I did the I did the coaching with you awesome stuff. Great stuff went through like law of attraction, right? And I was like, well, this is this is all kind of stuff that I’m putting out there. What if I shake it back and understand that this is a benevolent universe? And that it probably wants things more for me than I actually want for me. What can you show me? Right? And how can I take who I am eternally spirit, like spiritual DNA is perfect, right? I mean, we all have, we all share the same spiritual DNA. But I went from having a human mindset with all these worldly things that we know how to use, right. And, to your point, I’ve made it this far with this human mindset with this human capability. As like, what happens if I choose divinity? What happens in right? What happens if I’m connected to source at all time? And if I accept that source is everything, right? Who, you know, what am I capable of then? Right? And so that’s just fucking blew the lid off it. I’m like, you know, and that’s, that’s that again, just another choice to make right then. And so you can take a look at spirituality and the, you know, you can call it maybe it’s Christ consciousness, I don’t know, right to decide, like, Hey, listen, this is this is Buddhist consciousness, I make this decision to do what you did, to say. I’m just gonna stay connected to this ship, because I feel real good. I don’t have to drink to get here. I don’t have to get high to get here. All I have to do is show up and decide to be here. It can’t be that easy lease.

Elyse Archer 27:56
It’s it. It is literally it is a decision. I mean, that’s it. That’s been a huge lesson for me in the past 12 months that I think we could be scared to make that whatever the decision is. Whether it’s a decision to show up differently, a decision to to move right a decision to, for me invest in this, this high level coach. One other thing that happened for me a couple months ago is I made it not I guess it was more a month ago, I made a decision to spend more money than I knew where it was going to come from to work with this particular woman. So I felt very intuitively guided to do it. And I remember going through the fear and I like I said yes to her verbally. And then I like kind of shrugged back for a week and I vacillated It was like, Oh, this is a bad idea. It’s not it’s not responsible. It’s not smart. And I reached the point. And I think you saw my video I did on Instagram about this. But I was just thinking about why am I not moving forward on this. And it was the fear of the unknown. It was the fear of making a bad decision in the unknown. And, but what it reminded me of was, when I was in my late 20s, I was in a just a, I was in a marriage that was really toxic. And I was so scared to leave because I was afraid of the judgment of being young and being divorced. And my family put a lot of money into the wedding and we were only I mean I knew before I got married to him I shouldn’t have but at this point where I reached kind of the turning point we were like 1214 months in I was so scared to do it because of the fear of judgment and what was going to be on the other side would I ever find someone who was actually a good fit for me all that stuff. And I just reached a point where I said it can’t be worse than this you know so let’s let’s pull the trigger and do it and so I I asked for the divorce and six months to the day that I did. I met Jason who’s my husband I knew within minutes that he was going to be my husband. very inconvenient by the way in North Carolina. You’ve got to be separated for a year so we were still tech Are you gonna you remembered for a year for you to get remarried.

Brandon Handley 29:58
For the for the guys out there. They listen, they’re gonna probably, they’re gonna want to know, what can somebody do in a couple minutes to make some money?

Unknown Speaker 30:07
Right? I

Elyse Archer 30:08
know, I know. Yeah, they are. He just showed up and I was like that, you know, you hear about you know it when you know it, you know it I’ve never had that experience before. But I, I knew him. I knew that I was meant to be with him. So that’s a whole nother story, because then I had to proceed to chase him and date him and all of that stuff. It was a frustrating courtship, I will say, but here we are. So

Unknown Speaker 30:29
if I had to do one, that one, I won that one. Yeah.

Elyse Archer 30:33
But if I had not left that situation that I was so scared to leave, I would not have met him. And we would not have our son jack now. And that just puts things into perspective for me. And I think everyone can relate to something in their life where they’ve been so scared to make a move, because they didn’t know what was on the other side. But think about what happened in your life is a result of what you have now that you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t stepped out in faith. And for me, that was like, this is it. Like, I don’t know what’s gonna happen on the other side of this, but I know, I can trust my intuition that’s leading me to do this. And I know something really good is gonna unfold, even if it’s not what I’m expecting. So it’s kind of that surrender, like, Alright, I’m along for the ride.

Brandon Handley 31:16
That’s it. I mean, that’s it. 100% right. You know, it’s, it’s following your intuition. And kind of, you know, trusting it. And for you, you know, that’s seems to be working fairly well. Seems like, hey, look, what I love, too, is like, you know, listen, no matter how much of this work you’ve been doing on yourself, I’ve been doing myself, anybody out there has been doing it themselves. years, right. You’re still catching yourself, like beating yourself up? Right? You’re still catching yourself. Like, you know, there are moments where everything’s not fucking perfect. And that’s okay. Like, and I think that, I think that that that can be a challenge too. Because to accept that right to to be able to say, this, this moment, right here is not ideal for me. But that’s still going to show up no matter how much work you do. And I think that that’s important for people to hear and understand. Because they put themselves in into, oh, I shouldn’t be feeling this way I shouldn’t, then they beat themselves up for feeling that way at all. Like you’re saying, like, I shouldn’t be doing this way. And, and and I should be you should I’ve done it differently. And all these other things. And I’ve had another guy that had on and I know well, you called it he has the acronym, acronym Tina, right? There is no alternative. However you did it, right. There’s no alternative to what’s already been done. Right? The only alternative mate would be like your perspective on that, like, as you move forward, you’d be like, you know what, you can look back and be like, you know, what, in my mind, at that time, this is what I thought was going on. But now if I look back, it’s a totally different scenario. your perspective on what happened may be different. But the actual event, there’s no changing it. Right? That’s your your way past it. Right. Yeah. But you know, so how would I mean, a dress that though right, especially for you know, you again, being a coach, having gone through, like all this work, and still finding, you know, yourself kind of having those challenging moments? Do you accept those for yourself? Or do you beat yourself up for having those and then, you know, how do you get through it? What do you do from there?

Elyse Archer 33:28
Yeah, yeah, that’s a good question. I, so I do accept myself for having those. And I used to beat myself up a lot over it. And I think a lot of that is just we see people, whether it’s our parents, or like, for me, I saw I like, I love my mom dearly, but I saw her do that my whole childhood growing up. So I that’s how I operated for a long time. So now with those moments, I am so conscious of how I talk to myself, because I realized if I beat myself up, I’m only perpetuating the negative emotion negative feeling, I’m just going to attract more of that back into my life. So yeah, I mean, even yesterday, I had an introduction to like, a big time, big time, big time podcast to go on. And I had been like, really psyched up.

Unknown Speaker 34:11
You know, we’ve been talking for a while.

Unknown Speaker 34:14
See, it’s always working.

Elyse Archer 34:18
So I had this. So this was like, you know, like, top 100. Like, it was a big it was a just in terms of audience a big show. And so I got myself kind of psyched up for it. And I get on the call with the woman I’d been introduced to who is kind of like the gatekeeper and she was like, Oh, I’m so sorry. If there’s a misunderstanding. You know, he’s booked up for a whole year like I just really wanted to get to know you. You seem like a cool chicken. It was like, in that moment, I felt I felt disappointment. And then I gave myself like two seconds to feel it. I was like, okay, nothing is worth feeling that nothing is worth perpetuating that. So let me instead flip this and focus on how can I show up for her in this moment because I genuinely believe everything is always working out. For me, and if this is not the thing that’s meant to be right now it means there’s something even better down the road. So cool. So let’s have fun with this. And let’s like, show up and have fun. And then who knows what will happen in the future. But I think it’s that an attachment to like things being so perfect that for myself, for a lot of people, right, I think a lot of women I work with everyone, we can get kind of caught up in perfectionism, and things have to turn out the way we thought they would. But when you can be kind of unattached and just more attached to like, feeling good and having fun and showing up in the moment. It’s, it’s a heck of a lot more enjoyable. And you end up

Brandon Handley 35:35
Yeah, listen, you could find yourself on spiritual dope, too, right?

Unknown Speaker 35:40
I love it.

Brandon Handley 35:41
But the deal is to have right like, I mean, that is, you know, the dude, you’re talking about that seven days of being connected. That is, that’s the spiritual high, right? That’s, that’s the, that’s what the spiritual dope is. That’s the hits. You know, when you got that meditation, and you’ve got that meditation buzz of man, I was just so connected, I was so aligned, I was so detached from, I don’t want to say worldly things. But I was so detached from all all the activity and things that I felt like we were talking earlier, like, oh, maybe I gotta go make another pose. Maybe I got to go do this, maybe I got I got, I’ve got 10 minutes, I can squeeze in like five posts, maybe I can I am in and check for emails, right. And instead of being like, like, your coach is saying, Go study your fucking self for a minute. Right? Like, you’re pretty special. Right? recognize that? You know, I think more recently, you know, some of the meditations that I’ll do would be like, how far can you visualize yourself out? Right? And I’d be like, oh, infinite, right? The edges of the universe? Yes. But then more recently, I was like, well, inside is just as infinite to like, how deep Can I go into myself, and it’s infinite. So it’s infinite internally as much. So like, that was there’s been like a new rocking revelation, right? Like, where you just kind of you go internally, and you just hang out with yourself. And you see that, like, you know, you are 100% connected to source at all times. And it’s like, you’re saying, it’s a choice to say, I’m connected in this moment, to the person to the lady that was on the call, or title for my own shit. And I could I could show up and be there for her, or be tied up my own shit. And again, you’re like, I’m gonna take this moment, be there for her. And be open for the intuition, the inspiration, what’s coming out of this that is meant to be like your best.

Elyse Archer 37:35
Yes. I don’t want to add something to what you said about just studying the depth of ourselves. So one of my girlfriends, her sister, passive cancer a couple years ago, and they were super close, super, super close. And I wouldn’t talk about this on most any podcasts. I’ll talk about it here because I feel like you’ll get it. So she her sister passed. And then a mutual friend of theirs, called my friend out of the blue a couple months later, and she was she was like, I don’t know, I just feel like I have to call you. And we needed to reconnect. And this, this woman also channels and connects with people on the other side. And suddenly, while they were talking, my friend’s sister Lauren started coming through her and say, like, really literally reconnecting with my friend and what Lauren was saying, was, she said, You have no idea how big we are. She said now that I’m on the other side now that I can see it. She said, imagine like zoom out look at your house. Imagine you’re looking at it from above. You see the house and then zoom out to the block and the street and then your city and then the world and then the universe. She said you’re so much bigger. She said we are so much bigger than we know. She said I can’t wait for you to see this and know this. But she was just like, it’s you should have this this one on your podcast, I can introduce you because it’s powerful. It’s so powerful. But that perspective from the other side of are so much bigger than we can even fathom. Have

Brandon Handley 38:59
you connected yourself to that yet? Um, have you had that experience for yourself?

Unknown Speaker 39:04
No. Have you I want to Oh, can can you tell me about

Brandon Handley 39:07
it? Because I mean, it’s you can’t right that’s the whole Yeah, you can’t that’s the whole like, mystery school mysticism. translate that thing now? I did do I did do one good podcast on it where I’m not sure if you’ve done breathwork yet.

Unknown Speaker 39:23
A little bit not

Brandon Handley 39:24
not a ton, but a little bit. It’s like it’s it’s it’s like, cracked out. Meditation. When done when done well, like when you when you nail you’ll know when you nail it because you’ll come out of it. Like, what the fuck just happened? And can I get more of that all the time? Anytime? And the answer is yes. Right. Which is also powerful because that’s just like, like I said, meditation force multiplied and add connections and scenes, that you know, in those moments, that that’s the That’s just like a knowing, right? Like, it can’t be anything other than that and and more back to what you were saying before is it doesn’t you don’t need an external validation for that type of thing. You know this as truth. Right and and so, yes, right and that’s the that’s the question all right and and you know, I had similar experience to where this actually so to Elise has meant guys just again so lease is a lease is actually responsible in part for spiritual dope as well I don’t know if I told you that or not it was the interview without What was her name last one you got me in contact with the spiritual

Unknown Speaker 40:41
Oh, Regina Yeah,

Brandon Handley 40:43
so I interviewed Regina for the prosperity practice which in its own right was fucking awesome. I did love it and actually enjoyed it. But I also realized that I was I was kind of, you know, trying to sell the people what they wanted, but then give them what they need. And finally, I was just like, you know what bucket like your friend, right? Like, a much bigger, you know, spirituality, right? our spirits are much bigger than our bodies and it’s self evident. There’s like, you know, recordings of it with just even just with your resonance, right? You talked about also like the mind, mind heart coherence, experience that often, right? And that’s through meditation, but again, like through a number of things, once you recognize how to connect that and resonate that piece, and then you’re like, oh, like, like, all the time like it just like, it’s so great. Anyway, so yeah, so I interviewed her. And I was like, Why? Why am I holding back? kind of the best part of me? The best part of like, what I believe, right? Because here was this, you know, here was this, you know, ex lawyer fucking doing it. Right? And I was like, why am I waiting? Right? For who? Who, who? And then this came all the way back from my first podcast. So anyway, so first podcast was like, who gives me the authority to do this, right? I do. You do. You give yourself the authority to be you, right? You know, to go out and do the things that you know, that you can do that you’re capable of that you’re called to do, right? And that’s what you’re doing now I get to be a witness to seeing you punch through like each layer of that shit, right. And that’s what’s been fun for me to kind of watch you too, because we’ve had I feel like kind of similar experiences in that way be like, like, this is all shit. I’m out of here. This is better, but and it’s not even leveling up. Right? It’s just finding yourself in a different space because even even to a different level of awareness to what already is. Right? It’s just and goes back to your belief system be like, how When do I get to the side? Like, there’s more? Well, there’s a whole universe that is currently yours at your disposal. How do you want to use it? Right? Do you want to use it if you if you again, if you want to use your human self have fun with that. Right? And you’ve experienced that? What do you want to do with your Divine Self? What do you want to do with your universal self? Like what other kind of mindset Can you put yourself into and there’s again, that’s unlimited to

Unknown Speaker 43:16
this is so good. Oh my god. Yes,

Brandon Handley 43:20
yes. Yes. So again, guys, it was Elise who connected me with Regina and then when I connected with Regina, my wife had a friend who was medium as well on channel with me so it was combination of my wife whose childhood friend who she connects me with my grandfather like my closest you know, kind of Anthony in my life and and doing it with Gina and like, it was like the the medium wrote like a coming out letter of like, mediumship, right, like to her family, like I’m coming out of the closet medium type thing. So I was like, I was like, You know what, fuck it I’m coming out of the closet like spirituality and we’re just we’re just gonna go do it and ever since Sinhalese blown up blown blown. I mean, just the doors been blown off the people I’ve connected with, you know, I just interviewed my man here. I released you know, and and that, that was no following intuition. There was a 215 phone number, which is a Philadelphia area phone number. I was like, You’re fucking up here. I’m calling. And I just called. I was like, I was like, I was like, Listen, I was like, I got like, you know, his pm and she was awesome. knew where she lived. We had this great conversation. I was like, I just got to let you know I love this book. I’ve gone through it like four or five times I leave groups on it, yada yada. Would he be open to being on the podcast and she goes, You know what he normally he hates them. But let me see what I can do. That’s so cool. But again, so thank you like this is kind of like a trivia tool, a lease podcast. A lot of a lot, a lot of things because it’s been a lot of fun and without your support. You know, in part, of course, like us, all other all other people that have been a part of the journey, but you’ve been a big part about it. So I thought I’d share that with you.

Elyse Archer 45:11
Thank you. Thank you. Well, any audience? Yeah. And I think to just to see kind of how you’ve, you’ve taken every step of your evolution and turn it into something that’s good for other people. And I think that’s really cool. Because I do think back to when we were first working together, and it was like, how do we sell more of these?

Brandon Handley 45:32
things? Right. But that goes back to what you were saying, like how, you know, there was like, you know, you were selling stuff, and you were doing it where like, there was like integrity issues. And it’s like, yeah, you could sell something. Yeah. Maybe you could overcome some objections. Yeah, you maybe get this person to do this thing. But like, in the end, at what cost to you? And who?

Elyse Archer 45:50
Yes, exactly, exactly. Like, what is it actually all about? Yeah.

Brandon Handley 45:55
Well, so how do you I mean, I think that leads into a really good piece. So So how do you do it now where you’ve got it all tied together, that you feel aligned with what you’re doing.

Elyse Archer 46:04
Um, I just really listened to what, what my body says about what whether it’s working with a particular client, whether it’s launching a program, and I don’t fault myself for changing my mind, either, like I launched something new with the rollout of my new brand that was actually it was based on what a shaman who I follow what he does, or just like a $10, weekly, I drop in, he goes a healing temple. And it’s so much I was like, Oh, we should have that for sales, that would be so much fun. So I did like a $10 weekly drop in sales training. And it’s been, it’s been fun, but it’s like the numbers started off really high. And then they kind of dwindled with the number of women who were coming every week. And I used to go into panic about that. And now it’s like, oh, cool, I’m being divinely guided to transform this into something else. So I’m transforming it into something slightly different a monthly membership, and women are signing up for that really fast. So it’s like, just knowing that it doesn’t have to be perfect. But if I take the, I listen to what I’m being told to do, I take the action, I’m not attached to it being that way forever. And then I just kind of keep receiving that guidance. And that’s how I’ve launched my programs. That’s how I choose which clients to work with. That’s how I chose my brand colors. Like all of it, it’s just all the

Brandon Handley 47:21
colors, by the way. Don’t go gold, white, and red, which are which are all pretty cool. Yeah, I like that too. Like you talked about, like, you know, being able to change like kind of like your your and and, you know, in the business world or be ready to pivot, pivot, pivot. But being able to pivot, right, being able to adjust on the fly is something that I think a lot of people have a challenge with, too. How do you help them to overcome that, like, be like, Oh, I made this decision to do this thing. And I was told to commit. And, man, if I, if I just stick with it, persistence, and yada, yada, yada. So how do you help somebody that’s stuck in that space?

Elyse Archer 48:01
Yeah, cash. And it’s tough to write because we hear self discipline and persistence. And there’s a lot of value. There’s a lot of value to those attributes, in a lot of ways, but I think sometimes we get, you know, you hear like sunk cost theory in business. So I’ve put so much time and energy into this. And we can hold on to something just because of that, just because we already invested a lot of money or a lot of time. And even in our core, if we know it’s no longer the right thing. So again, it comes down to intuition. And so if I’m working with the client, we kind of we look at, okay, if you were, if you were starting this today, would you do the same thing? Like if you were starting from scratch? Would you do the same thing? If the answer is yes, then it’s okay. You probably just need to keep going at it for longer. Like it’s just, it’s keep showing up, keep doing it know that just like you said, with the flower when you plant it, it’s gonna take a hot minute sometimes, and that’s okay. But if you’re being honest, and you wouldn’t do it again, the same way today, or you wouldn’t run this program today, or you wouldn’t. I mean, this is a big one, but you wouldn’t marry this person today. Right? Like, then I’m not counseling people and relationships. So take that for what it’s worth, but you kind of look at, okay, are you attached to this just because you’ve put so much time and energy into it? Or are you attached to it, because it’s actually what you’re meant to be doing. And it just needs a little more time to mature or grow or terminate.

Brandon Handley 49:23
I love that. I love being associated. Again, you know, I’m a big fan of the word grace these days. So give yourself a little grace and let you kind of, you know, let that let that life energy just go ahead and propagate the way that it’s supposed to. Right. And I love though, to that you’re saying you know, if you started today, would you still do this? Right? Because again, we we put all this energy into the sunk cost thing even like, well, the Titanic sinks, it’s sunk, right? Like I mean, fucking let it go. Right? They jump off the boat because it is sunk costs, and it hasn’t accelerated you or gotten you to where you think you should be by Now and if you were to, you know, kind of continue that trajectory, it’s down at this point, right? I love it. I love it. So, what, um, you know, let’s what is a, you know, a hit of spiritual dope for you like, you know what, you know, meditation, I mean, having, you know, maybe looking at your son, you know, what is what is something that, um, that’s just your pure hit a spiritual dope.

Elyse Archer 50:24
I mean, it’s totally hanging out with my son jack now like that’s just to see see the pureness of a little kid and to see how they just just their wholeness and their appearances, and his unfiltered laughter is so much fun. I absolutely love that. And then I think the other thing is just when I can show up and give or do something for somebody else that has nothing to do with me. And that’s actually, when I found myself a couple months ago, like going through some of that Panic of like, Oh, my God, am I doing making the wrong decision or the wrong choice? That’s part of how I would shift out of it is I would be like, What can I do for somebody else right now to get my head out of my ass and focus on what really matters. And that always, to me, that always helps. It’s that quick shift. It’s like, What can I do for someone else, whether it’s write a comment on their social media, whether it’s had a client who wants to book club, I was like, I’m gonna join my clients book club right now. And that’s gonna make him feel good when he looks in his inbox and sees that he’s got a new member. So just stuff like that. Right? It’s, it’s always kind of getting our focus off of ourselves.

Brandon Handley 51:31
I love this. I mean, it doesn’t have to be complex, right? You can go out there and kind of give of yourself and support somebody else in small meaningful ways. And you’re gonna feel better about yourself. Hmm,

Elyse Archer 51:42
yeah. Well, and it’s the whole Have you read the diamond cutter?

Unknown Speaker 51:46
No, I have not, oh, this

Unknown Speaker 51:48
will be a good one. I

Unknown Speaker 51:49
think you’ll be into this.

Elyse Archer 51:50
So the principle behind it is whatever you want for yourself, help someone else get it. So I’ve got my, my mastermind partner. She’s also going for seven figures in her business right now. So one of the things that I’ve done and I told her I was like, This is not entirely altruistic that I want to help you do this. Like, I’m really curious energetically how this works for me.

Brandon Handley 52:11
It’s interesting, though, at least, right? Like, when I started fatherhood, for the rest of us, it wasn’t for the pure reasons. Right? It really wasn’t and I can look back and I can say that right? I’m like, you know, I did this for all the wrong reasons. But I was doing the right things, even if it was for the right reasons, for all reasons. Yeah. And that kind of tilted the whatever right into into always say like, I’m like the Grinch my heart grew to sizes too large or whatever, right? Like it went from being like, you know, this thing to write. So I think that you and I think you know, are you know, when you collect new Java Roman back in the day, I remember him going into, you know, talking about that, right being like, what happens if you do the right things with like, the wrong reasons. Now, I would say and wrong reasons is really kind of hard. You can’t really say it’s for the wrong reasons. You’re really trying to do it for the benefit. Yes, of you. And of them, but like, you know, that kind of shakes off. Just Just for I mean, my experience has been that kind of shakes off like initially, it’s kind of like, I’m doing it mostly for me a little bit. You still feel okay, I’m doing it for like, you know, at least I’m not, you know, at least I’m not calling you an asshole, right? Like, you know, merger. Nobody’s a jerk. I’m doing all these things. And eventually, that it’s just kind of like rust away until like, this purity situation happens where like, that’s just becomes who you are. Right? So there’s really nothing wrong with like, trying on different clothes until you find the pair that fits.

Elyse Archer 53:38
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think it’s you always know because it’s the energy or doing something and like, how do you feel while you’re doing it? If you feel secretly like, with this, this friend of mine, who I’m helping, I’m just kinda like consulting and helping her for helping her hit seven figures in her business this year. It’s like, the energy that I feel around it when I do it. If I felt jealousy or if I felt scarcity or like, I should be spending the time on my own stuff. exactly what you’re talking about, right, like doing it for the wrong reasons. But I think it’s it’s, you can tell when you feel like whole excited, fulfilled, relaxed while you’re doing it. It’s really different.

Unknown Speaker 54:13
You are at ease. Yes,

Brandon Handley 54:15
you’re at ease and the things are easy. They’re simple. They’re fulfilling. Yeah, right. All right. Super awesome. As always to catch up with you. Unfortunately, we can’t stay on all day. So where can we send people to go find more Elise Archer,

Elyse Archer 54:33
thank you so much for having me. Elise. archer.com has all the things and then on all social media. I’m at Elise Archer. So with love, love, love to connect. I’ve got a podcast, she sells radio so people can check that out. It’s like sales with a healthy dose of spirituality.

Brandon Handley 54:49
Now, who would you say your ideal client is Elise?

Unknown Speaker 54:53
Hmm.

Elyse Archer 54:55
It’s often a younger me. And I’m not saying that in an egotistical way. It’s just I can really help them. A woman because I know

Unknown Speaker 55:00
what’s going on.

Elyse Archer 55:02
So it’s typically going to be a woman who is either a business owner or she’s in sales, she’s looking to break through her first six figures. And it’s like, something’s not quite clicked there. But she’s ready. And she’s probably a little bit turned off by a lot of what she’s being taught from either corporate sales training or from the book she’s reading and it just doesn’t quite feel right to her and she’s like, could I reach my goals in a way that actually feels really good to me and other people and I love helping that type of woman so that’s my ideal client.

Brandon Handley 55:32
awesome guys. Go

check out Lisa’s especially, you know, if you meet that description, I can promise you that, uh, you know, it’ll work out for you. Right? guarantee that, you know, to go through some of the coaching or some of the programs that Elise has offered, they will be valuable to you.

Unknown Speaker 55:48
Thank you, my friend. Thank you. This has been wonderful.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Longtime listener first time caller… that was me reaching out to Shelley… after years of running with some of the same crews, we finally connected on a podcast!

Shelley is full of great energy and wisdom… listen in you will not be disappointed!

With 27 years’ experience in the accounting industry from bookkeeping through purchasing to software integration and setup, Shelley’s Genesys Financial clients have included those of Graphic Arts, Manufacturing, IT, Automotive and the garment industries. 

Her focus later went to implementing and managing larger scale billing platforms and Project Management.  Her focus was on helping Entrepreneurs setup their Financial platforms and Business processes.  A financial professional with a marketing background Shelley is uniquely qualified and can see all sides of business from sales and marketing to purchasing to invoicing, always allowing her to think outside the box.   

In line with her varied interests her latest business, Living Well, has taken a passion for health and wellness to business by facilitating lifestyle changes for busy executives. As the health supplement portion of her business has gone International her love of traveling was often met through her business.    

https://livingwellwithshell.com/

Audio production done by Zane Niezgodzki

Insights & Takeaways:

  • Shelley talks about how she woke up with negative thoughts whirling thoughts “swirling the drain.” She knew this was not how she wanted to start the day, so Shelley says she went into her mind and “quieted my head and started going through what I wanted to see my day look like, how I wanted to give gratitude.” Shortly thereafter the whole feeling of hopelessness and negativity was gone.
  • 4:40 Brandon mentions “manifestation just means that it showed up because they put their thoughts, intention and will behind it in some way, shape or manner.”
  • 5:53 Shelley states “We’re just energetic beings having a physical experience, and power goes where we focus our energy. So, focus it somewhere positive that benefits you. Create some more high functioning you.”
  • 12:08 Shelley states emphatically “… recognize that we have emotional responses to those thought processes, and to the trauma that occurred to us or whatever as children… As adults, I truly believe and I’ve walked this journey for 20 years, we are responsible for healing it.”  {TK: WOW!!!}
  • Prayer can be meditation, meditation can just be going over what you’re grateful for (Gratitude Practice). Make this a habit. 

Spiritual Dope Eureka Moments!

  • 8:15 “So what I found in my early adulthood was I was always breaking out, but not in a positive way. Because I kept myself so contained all the time, that when I burst out, I usually got myself into trouble. And I needed to learn for myself how to live a more genuine, and aligned life…” [TK: YES! This is so relatable!]
  • 10:38 (This hit REALLY close to home.) Shelley talks about realizing as a parent, reflecting on her own parents’ parenting, that they “did the best with what they were given… and came with all their own baggage and all their own hurts and things.” [TK: Indeed. It took me until my mid-forties to stop judging my own upbringing by the light of perfection. My parents did the best with what they had. They weren’t intentionally “bad” or hurtful, they were doing what they felt was right. Different generations, different traumas and lifetimes, etc.]
  •  20:30 Shelley mentions Dr. Joe Dispenza’s teachings where he says the best way to create your future is to imagine it. But you have to live and imagine it already happening. [TK: This brings me back to Brandon’s coaching work with me, and the exercises where I would envision with all senses being in the ideal future!]
  • It’s all in your mind! (TK: IT IS!)
  • Quit apologizing to the world around you
  • https://livingwellwithshell.com/

Transcription by otter.ai

Unknown Speaker 0:02
You’re listening to the spiritual dope podcast with your host, Brandon Handley. The spiritual dope with today’s guest from living well with Shell Shelly shear, the spiritual worked out. Ready, set,

Brandon Handley 0:19
go. Hey there spiritual dope. Today I am on with Shelly shear she is a Vancouver based speaker, emerging author and coach. She spent 28 years as an accounting professional helping small to medium businesses navigate entrepreneurship while having a second side hustle. Her experience has crossed many industries from graphic design, manufacturing, automotive, spa, digital marketing, to hot dog vendors, it is give her a unique perspective into people and how they handle their businesses and themselves. She has a gift for finding logic, cool, logical, common sense solutions. She has a successful podcast that focuses on not living in regret and creating high functioning habits because she truly believes everyone is enough and should have an easier, more vibrant life. Thank you so much for joining today. How are you?

Shelley R Shearer 1:10
I am great. Thanks for having me. On if our listeners don’t know, we’ve known each other for a couple of years very casually because we took our podcasting course together four and a half years ago. Yeah. And it’s wonderful to see us both still here doing what we love to do.

Brandon Handley 1:22
Absolutely. I think that is really what I think is really funny was um, when you must have connected with me on instagram when I might, you know still under like Brandon Handley and I just switched that to spiritual dope. And then it like at some point like there was an aha moment where you realize that that that had happened like I was just praying in

Unknown Speaker 1:43
a second here.

Brandon Handley 1:46
So listen, how I like to start these off with his, you know, we were talking before this everybody’s connected to source source. You know, divinity, whatever speaks through us. We’re basically you know, vessels for the divine. And this podcast today, you are here to connect with somebody who’s listening. What is that message for that person coming through divine through you for that person?

Shelley R Shearer 2:12
My message today would definitely be emotions follow thoughts.

Brandon Handley 2:17
What do you mean by that?

Shelley R Shearer 2:19
Most people I find found in my own life as well that we are taught that we think and emotions are separate or that because of the way we feel we think a certain way and actually, that is improving quite an accurate the last 20 years during research and such that that’s not the case at all. In fact, we think a thought, then we have an emotion. And the reason that’s really important, in fact, I was literally brand brand new puppy in the house. It was sitting it was uptime is like Oh, I got to exercise her before I get on this podcast. I was going to do my own podcast today. And I’ll do it after. And that’s what actually was in my head because this morning I woke up myself personally, just rabbiting just swirling the drain. Just my thoughts were whirling in my mind. They were negative, there was nothing positive going on. It’s like I can’t get up and do this day like this. And that thought came to me it actually was something that I learned was kind of vocalize it’s something I’ve understood sort of in an innate level, but it was vocalized to me by someone Jan Jansen, I think mentioned it and of course, I was in a couple months back. And she said, emotions follow thoughts. And that’s what most people don’t accept, and also don’t consciously train themselves to change how they think. And it’s probably very much how I don’t know how you pronounce his last name, Tom, Bill,

Unknown Speaker 3:34
you know, the name

Shelley R Shearer 3:35
all over his all over Instagram, he’s got the thought Institute of some sort. And he very much hammers this home that you know, we need to control how we think. Yeah, so with that being said, You know, I was texting with the puppy for a quick little nap this morning. And I thought, This is not how I want to start my day. And so I immediately went into my mind quieted my head and started going through what I wanted to see my day look like, how I wanted to give gratitude. And my goodness, it took like a minute and then the rest was just bonus. It was like the whole feeling of hopelessness and negativity just left because where you focus is

Brandon Handley 4:16
in your life, right? Right. Right. And you know that you’re directing your energy into that space right and you’re literally that energy is what it takes for something to manifest whatever that means to people out there right because my wife and I always like I’ll say something about manifesting something’s like shit manifested this idea i think i don’t think you know what I mean. Totally. Yeah. manifestation just means that it showed up because they put their thoughts intention and well behind it in some way shape or madly, right? So no, I love I love that right emotions follow thought we’re gonna have to dig into that as we kind of see

Shelley R Shearer 4:52
if you can control things you’re thinking of and Jim quick that does the, the book on the learning the one that had the brain injury, he talks about this as well, because he’s trying to improve your memory. And there’s just so much now neuroscience behind it in the fact of gene expression and how we function, how we feel how we think. Now it’s the time in this day and age, especially with what’s going on in the world around us to really open up and say, let’s go research that a little bit. As you and I were chatting, just before we got on the on the actual podcast was, I grew up in a very, very religious home, very, very strict religious upbringing. believed and loved the certainty of the black and white of the knowledge at the time, especially as a teenager, and then you know, walked away later. And now I’ve come back to it because I believe in the law of attraction. So whether someone uses God or universe or Supreme, I don’t care. Right, right. Right. Energy interchangeable. Totally. Because we’re just energetic beings having a physical experience. Yeah. And power goes where we focus our energy. So focus it somewhere positive that benefits you create some more high functioning you Yeah, your

Brandon Handley 6:03
choice is a choice. There’s a couple pieces in that. I mean, even today, I picked up some random article that scientists are saying, there’s a 5050 shot that, um, we are in a construct, we are in, you know, a program, the matrix, like a lizard is a 5050 shot. So, you know, the same way there’s a 5050 shot as to whether or not there’s an afterlife, right, right. So why not kind of like, make those choices consciously on what you believe? Because you have a 5050 shot? Mm hmm. Right. So um, so let’s talk a little bit about like, I love, I love your podcast, I think it’s really well done. You handle the guests very well, you’re so well spoken, and you bring this energy that you’re bringing, you know, today, to your podcast, what you know, let’s talk about kind of how you found yourself in the space that you’re at now. And let’s give it like the leading with spirituality that you do now, like I’ve heard you, like, kind of referenced the woowoo. But like, or intuition, you know, how have you integrated that into your life and found more or less fulfillment from it? Like, how’s that? How’s that showing up in your life?

Shelley R Shearer 7:16
Well, it’s funny, cuz it’s something you said earlier about how you’ve manifested it, No, honey, honestly, doesn’t matter that you’re finding all the coincidences I still manifested. Because those are the those are the tracks that lead you to where you’re going. And you can call it coincidence, or you can own it, and I prefer to own it. And like I said, four and a half years ago, you and I took a podcasting course. Now, just just a little quick on that one. That was a very funny thing, how that happened. I went to a Make Your Mark event here in Canada, and signed up for speaking from stage because I wanted to find my voice. I’ve always just felt a little bit like I you know, grew up with the, you know, be seen and not heard one of female coming out of the 60s and 70s very autocratic father very religious upbringing. So lots of rules, lots of rigidity. And I’m clearly not that. So what I found in my early adulthood was I was always breaking out, but not in a positive way. Because I kept myself so contained all the time, that when I burst out, I usually got myself into trouble. And I needed to learn for myself how to live a more genuine and, and aligned life, and got very lucky in my 20s to attend a course called the pursuit of excellence, which talks about the filters to which we see the world and also talks about personality traits. So really, right from my 20s, very young, the universe kept putting the stuff in my path, awakening me awareness, opening my scope of reference, because really, like I say, I was raised in the box. Also, though, my dad was what was so funny is my dad’s an entrepreneur. So there was reason a box and I was a female.

Brandon Handley 8:55
Um, you know, what I love about your story that too, is that your dad became a successful entrepreneur after the age of 40, right?

Unknown Speaker 9:02
Yes. Oh, you do listen to my podcast.

Shelley R Shearer 9:06
Clearly, oh, you’re such a sweetheart. Yes, he did. And yet, when he looked at my life, he wanted it all to be planned out, you know,

Brandon Handley 9:15
as a parent, though, right? As a parent, and and him maybe not having found his stride, and this is me talking to right as a

Unknown Speaker 9:22
parent, and you, you are the parent,

Brandon Handley 9:24
right? It’s like, it’s like, you know, I did it in a very uncontrolled manner, how I got to where I am today is a miracle. But, um, knowing kind of what I know, it’s like, you know, here’s how you can truly succeed with ease. And that’s what you try to impart to your children. And we know that children are like, that’s not gonna work for me. I’m not to figure out my own way. You’re like, fine. I know. And

Shelley R Shearer 9:46
that I think, as a parent, that has got to be the hardest thing. The absolute hardest thing. I know, I did, you know, I only have the one son, and he has been through some very serious challenges in his life. In fact, we’ve just kind of recently he doesn’t want to Talking about this i’m not saying anything he’s not okay with. We thought he had bipolar for a number of years and have been battling that only to find out he’s on the spectrum actually. And it made so much more sense. It’s just he was so high functioning as a child, they never caught it. Yeah. And it wasn’t till I was, you know, he was going into kindergarten grade one and I was in an abusive relationship, and psychiatrists got brought in to assess the situation, and they will deal with ADD, and we carried on and then later in life when things were imploding, it’s like something else is going on here.

Brandon Handley 10:27
So it’s right there, the tools right there, right, the tools weren’t there. The tools, you know, didn’t really exist. Exactly then but but I’d love to hear that, you know, you’re fine. You’re catching it now. Right.

Shelley R Shearer 10:38
And I felt I did the best I could with what I had that something I think people need to give himself grace for more, I really had to learn to do that with my own parents and forgiveness. They did the best with the not with what they were given. Yeah, it came with all their own baggage and all their own hurts and, and things. Sure, um, then I became an adult and the parents I look back and going, I didn’t do that perfectly. But perfection is a lie. It’s not real. If this is just a journey, we’ve got to keep going on. So I handled it you know, in a manner as education again, so then we come back to the kind of again the with the high functioning, right, even when he was diagnosed, my attitude was you’re not going on Ritalin, and we’re not living on drugs. It was learn about what ad D or ADHD was at the time. And I behaved it with behavior modification was lis one thing at a time. Like he was the kid that melted at the front door. If you gave him three things to do. He’d be sitting there with the backpack, unpacked one shoe in his hand, and crying. It’s like I asked you to put your shoes on grab your knapsack can walk out the door, like it

Unknown Speaker 11:35
wasn’t that difficult. But this

Shelley R Shearer 11:37
is me being a very high functioning a tech personality seeing that child? No, it simply wasn’t connecting. Yeah, all those things. Yeah. Yeah. So we got you know, we like you say the tools weren’t there. But I was lucky enough again, to me kind of a few people got on to those you say the woowoo side of things. Yeah. To me. It’s just the holistic, natural side of things. Anti drug? As much as possible. I have nothing against medical Oh my gosh. Yes, that dental surgery. Thank you God for painkillers and antibiotics,

Unknown Speaker 12:06
right, yeah.

Shelley R Shearer 12:08
But I don’t want those corrections being part of everyone’s everyday life now, simply because they don’t understand how to control their thought process. And then recognize that we have emotional responses to those thought processes, and to the trauma that occurred to us, you know, we’re not to blame for the trauma that was given done to us or whatever is children. But as adults, I truly believe and I’ve walked this journey for 20 years, we are responsible for healing it, address it. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 12:34
address it just for having children. I mean, look, just it’s not. I don’t know, I, it’s hard to say like, it’s, you know, you can never say like, I know, that I always refer to kind of grown up, it was pretty easy, right? There’s some shit that happen. And but like, you just kind of look at it and be like, well, that’s just really gave me the ability to withstand X, Y, or Z or gave me strength or, you know, that’s, you know, or, or like, he’ll it right, but like, let’s just feel that address it wholly absorbed that that happened. and move on. Right. Like, let that be. The dragon the wind or whatever, right? Don’t

Shelley R Shearer 13:13
let it define you. Right. Yeah, that makes me sad when I let people see such negativity or illness in their life. define them as a person. Right,

Brandon Handley 13:21
right. Well, I mean, you know, so talk about that for yourself. You’re doing the fibromyalgia. Right, isn’t that? Yes. I mean, you know, I and I, I imagined that initially, you did kind of let it define you and kind of slow you down.

Unknown Speaker 13:38
Ooh, solid years. Yeah. Talk

Brandon Handley 13:41
about that. That because that can’t be easy.

Shelley R Shearer 13:44
I’m sure the property and one of the hardest things probably about things like fibro and mental illness are they are silent. Hmm. I’m like my puppy right now. Um, if this gets if she gets a little whiny, we can just stop and you can edit for me and I’ll do something with her. But that happens people people get very caught up in it. And I did. I was like, how this can be happening to me. I was functioning as a personality. I was working it was built a new house. It’s like, Are you kidding me? And leave me flat for two years until I learned to adjust, get my pain under control even tried to drug route for a little bit. And then the side effects were brutal. You know, there’s just a lot of suicidal thoughts and things and my husband, I were like, We can’t live this way. Alright, so it was a long journey. And I went again, right back into the holistic world of how do I support my body? How do I give myself and sometimes that just want to sit on the same silly napping. napping was a huge thing. I follow naps. But that ego of mine, yes. fought me tooth and nail and we’re stronger than this. We’re better than this. We don’t need this. Yes, we do. That’s the West.

Brandon Handley 14:52
That’s the western day. That’s the western mentality.

Shelley R Shearer 14:57
Absolutely. Yeah. So um, so a child of the 80s I was raised in that women can have it all nonsense have we have full time careers husbands that we wait still do the 1960s housewife thing through, and three children and don’t have House Cleaners?

Brandon Handley 15:11
You guys got back, man. I mean, even kidding me, I still I still I’m still very frustrated. Like, and like, you know, I believe women can do whatever they want be wherever they want, but to make a society where like, you know, you can’t have at least one parent at home, to be with the family or something to make to make that success in the material realm. You know, based on sex, right, be like, Oh, you can do it, I can do it. And we’re all gonna go do it like, Well, you know, who’s, where’s this other human aspect where, like, you know, that’s cool. You go ahead, I don’t even like going to work. So you know, somebody wants to show up and be like, you know what, I got this, you just stay home take care of children, um, like I’m in. Right. So I get frustrated from time to time just because that’s, you know, we’re, I feel like it was, you know, I’m not a I’m not a you know, conspiracy guy or anything like that. Like, I do feel like, you know, that was that was forced on forced on us.

Shelley R Shearer 16:12
Okay, you’re talking to Adam, because you know, he doesn’t he have a brilliant way of describing. So let me explain to me how explain surely how women completely got. How did you subserve his word for it? Where Yes, you had this great life where you were looking after the next generation, creating human beings being there having this whole emotional support for your family. And society walked in and said, Oh, but you don’t really want that, right? You want to go to work for 10 hours, like your husband does, and then still come home and do that all in two hours a night? Are you kidding me? And now requires two incomes to have a home,

Brandon Handley 16:45
but it wasn’t and it wasn’t there. That was your idea you want you forced it? Right. Like I mean, you know, so. So really interesting. Sorry to get off topic.

Shelley R Shearer 16:53
No, that’s okay. I want to vote not to like be a slave.

Brandon Handley 16:56
Right, right. Right. Right. Right. just crazy stuff. Crazy stuff. It is.

Shelley R Shearer 17:02
So you, you’d asked me about my fibro. So yeah, it was a long journey for a couple of years ago when we changed houses. And it gave us options because my income was right out the door. And I had an accounting professional income. So needless to say, that was missed. And there was nothing in the Canadian system, even what we call CPP up here, for this particular disease, there was no sort of long term disability or anything. And I was funny, you know what, as a single Mum, I carried all those extras, insurances for years. But when I got married, after a couple years, I let them go is like in our truck. Ryan was raised, we can both afford to pay the mortgage, we had life insurance in case something happened to either one of us, and I let all that extra stuff going. Hmm, not sure what it helped. But you kind of look back in hindsight, in really so that’s actually was one of the things that started me finding my voice was when I started moving myself forward, it immediately was how do I help other people do the same thing? Right? How do I encourage them to not be defined by a disease, and for me a big part of it, it was on another friend’s podcast a couple months back. And we talked very in depth in this because she deals with women or audiences, middle aged women. And she’d asked, you know, as a silent disease, no one can see it, what do you do you find support. And I believe that in any area of your life, though, find the support around you. And the sad part is, I hate to say it, it’s not always family. It wasn’t for me, and people really just always want it to be, they decide, I might need this, or I want this, but it has to be this person. And that is a tough limiting belief to let go for a lot of people because often that isn’t who’s going to be your biggest support.

Brandon Handley 18:37
I think that families too close, right to too close to the situation. And, you know, they know you from you know, they they know too much about you. Mistake you’ve ever made. Right. Right. And so they play out like the the history of you. Right versus

Shelley R Shearer 18:53
well, sad.

Brandon Handley 18:54
Right? So and that and that’s it. That’s not an easy transition mental model to shift. Right? So, you know, when you go to Thanksgiving dinner or whatever, you guys just happy Thanksgiving on Monday, right? You know, when you go to that dinner, you’re surrounded by family and they talk about all the old you and all the old stories and and all this other stuff. Whereas like your focus is, the future is so amazing. And I’m so excited. Let’s talk about what’s the calm? Yes. Like I’m giving you we talked about, you know, law of attraction with a lot of people. You know, I don’t know that many people actually in the space but giving thanks for you know, everything has already been done. Everything’s already been created. It’s just simply our awareness of that creation. So giving thanks for everything that’s already been done. includes the future. Yes, it does.

Shelley R Shearer 19:49
Right. Because that is something that Joe dispenza talks about. And he Now speaking of being left a center for me. He has taken me into a whole nother realm of my Christian beliefs, like Where do we go with this? He just has a spectacular way of looking at things he says the best way to create your future is to is to imagine it. But you have to live in imagine it already have happening. That’s right. Now something that kind of that he says that I really have taken to heart and I was talking to a girl from the other day, and she was going through a rough time. And I said, You know what, we have to remember that our memories, when we’re remembering something, we’re still living them in the now. Because our souls or spirits don’t differentiate necessarily to timelines. I look in the mirror and I see the wrinkles, and I see my hair graying. And I know time is passing, because my body is aging. Hmm. But my aunt told me once when I was very young, surely what you’ll understand, I was just like, barely even 30. And she said, You will know when you get older, your spirit has an age just you do. It’s all right. In my mind’s eye, I’m still the same person. You know,

Brandon Handley 20:52
it’s so funny, you say that? I always, you know, so I was doing Jiu Jitsu for a while until COVID. And go in there and hang out with people. And you guys are being guys talking about? I’d be getting in there with a younger guy, like, come on old guy, or you’re, you know, you’re just getting old or I was like, I’m not getting all my body’s getting old. Right leg? You know, I’m like, as you know, nothing has changed. Right? Now, there’s

Shelley R Shearer 21:15
my wisdom. Yeah, and whatever, which is fantastic. Right? Oh, you’ve had this all blessing us at

Brandon Handley 21:23

  1. That’s funny, because I remember you saying that earlier to, just to how, you know, you wouldn’t exchange the wisdom right now for youth. But there’s always that other line too, that people are always cracking, which is on this makes me think of your dad, too, is, you know, what would you do? What would you tell your 20 year old self, you know, and and really what they’re saying is like, especially now I think even at our age, and when your dad was 40 is like, when you realize all the wisdom that you have, like, I’m just gonna go ahead and use this for the next 2015 1520 years. Right. So yeah, you know,

Shelley R Shearer 21:58
that’s a very good point about having grace. Because my dad has a great education was raised and born in Saskatchewan, one of nine, and he’s one of the youngest of that crew. Very, very brutal, straight out of second generation British parents, very different upbringing. So now he married a city girl with an education and a working father, that worked professionally. So my parents are actually kind of funny that way, but well suited to each other’s strengths. So I could see him as a father and later in life saying, Oh, no, please don’t let my children go through what I went through, like, go get an education, right? Get a career. And he always wanted me to get something good. I could go somewhere that he could travel to meet me. He’s like, I need you to go work in Australia or something, Shelly honey,

Unknown Speaker 22:41
so I can run?

Shelley R Shearer 22:43
Okay, that’ll get right on that. So let’s just go for physical therapy and got nowhere with it. But regardless, I could see you have very valid point as a parent, right? Don’t do it, you know, don’t do what I did don’t make my mistakes. Right? Well,

Brandon Handley 22:56
that’s what we try to do. All we’re trying to do is like, man, here’s my list. And just like, don’t do any of this, right? Or, you know, and this is this is, this is why I feel like I’m very lucky to be a parent in this time and age, right, I started fatherhood for the rest of us, that was the first podcast. And that was, you know, learning the positive opposites. Right? You don’t, right? And this plays right into law of attraction is play, right? And everything else, right? You don’t think about what you don’t want your children to? Do? You tell them what you want them to do? Exactly. Because otherwise, you’re already creating the image in their mind of what you don’t want them to do. And as you and I know, the subconscious doesn’t see yes or no, they just see the picture

Shelley R Shearer 23:34
exactly right or wrong. Even if it doesn’t differentiate, it just sees the picture that you’re playing, just like having the comment about the memories, every time. I mean, remember things, it’s fun, but recognize that you need to like, let it go and go back to where it belongs. Because otherwise, you’re living your current existence in that memory. And if that memory and those experiences are negative, or bad, you are bringing them into your current circumstances, like this morning, every single day of your life. No wonder there is no positive emotion going forward. Because your thoughts are all in the past and all the negativity. Absolutely. I

Brandon Handley 24:11
mean, look, it’s in the word right and negative being like a re cursor, right? Like we did that. Um, so what one thing that you talked about this morning, too, was, you know, waking up and catching and creating a vision for the day?

Shelley R Shearer 24:27
Yes, very much.

Brandon Handley 24:29
Is that a daily practice?

Unknown Speaker 24:31
Yes, very much. So.

Brandon Handley 24:32
What’s that, like, you know, for the audience.

Shelley R Shearer 24:37
No matter what I have positive or negative to say about my upbringing, prayer was instigated in my life. And that makes meditation for me quite easy. And because I never had grew up in the Catholic religion where I had to worry about talking to a priest. It was always a direct contact, contact or conversation sorry with source. Meditation for me is really that now which is why I talk about in my little ebook I don’t care if you’re lying in bed in the morning, or it’s just before you’re going to sleep at night, let your mind wander and just go over the positives or go over what you want to see happen. show gratitude for whatever’s in your life, what’s going on in that day. Because that now is in the subconscious, like you say, the subconscious isn’t there to differentiate between all of this is just waiting for you to give it you know, to activate. And so activate on the positive activate on what you’re grateful for. So yes, that is very, very much a daily thing for me. In fact, I even got into the habit of doing a sitting here, a gratitude journal, and someone knows, and of course, one day and you just buy them. And that for people, it’s like people who go on diets, I always say get an app on your phone and write down everything for a week, though. Because your awareness you need to see because they’re like, cheating. I don’t eat sugar. Mm hmm. Yeah, it’s every thing.

Brandon Handley 25:53
Whatever you track, right? Whatever you track, you pay, you can measure. Yeah, you can measure as well.

Shelley R Shearer 25:58
So my gratitude journal was that’s became a habit at nighttime, just even if it was just three lines. It’s like, I’m tired. I don’t wanna do this right now. I made myself do it. It was a habit to do it that way. 80% of the time, it was getting done.

Brandon Handley 26:11
Yeah, no, I mean, you’re lucky and you can’t beat yourself up if you don’t do it. Right. Like it’s these are. And I think that that’s one of the problems. Not a problem. It’s just one of our, again, another Western civilization Quirk. Right. Which is, which is Oh, I missed the day. I guess I’m never gonna do it again. Oh, right. It’s all or nothing.

Shelley R Shearer 26:32
Oh, I hear coaches talk about that all the time. Fitness coaches, anything is like, no, get back up on the horse The next day, please. That’s why I say to people what I used to coach health stuff because I was in a network marketing company for a couple years. It was just kind of fun. And it really spoke to my need just to be healthier. Because I’ve always been a bit of a nutcase. Like always a bit of a health nut, what you do 80% of the time is a good habit. Hmm. Not the one day a week or the every now and then, where you just blow it all to smithereens. And you haven’t gone to the gym in a week or when on vacation and drank every day. Okay, great. You did that writing on, right act to your routine. Oh, and if you can get those habits in place, and they are there 8% of the time, you will slip back to them because it’s your norm.

Brandon Handley 27:15
Right. Well, I mean, that was one of the things that we learned with this podcasting course was, you know, your default pattern, right? I know that that was one of the places I first picked up on how your default patterns was through, you know, Sam,

Shelley R Shearer 27:30
right and consistency, Sam, just, you know, what, what is he? What does Sam always say? My favorite expression is Sam. Repetition reduces resistance. Yeah, I

Brandon Handley 27:39
haven’t listened for a while. But um, you know, I still love them like it without without going through that I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t be where I am today. And so let’s talk about what is it you’re doing right now? Are you doing the coaching? Are you? Yes.

Shelley R Shearer 27:51
So just getting you just very small. It’s just a very, it’s new. It’s new to me for now. I started coaching back in January, took on my first clients, okay, and it didn’t actually want to do it. At first, my coach was making me I just want to public speak, I love to talk.

Brandon Handley 28:06
Clearly, you do their job, but you’re very well spoken. So thanks, sweetie. Putting it to good use.

Shelley R Shearer 28:12
And I wanted to write a book. But it was like you still have to earn a living. And also there’s always there’s always the attitude with coaching is that you can’t keep all that knowledge to yourself, if you’re not, and I’m definitely so I talk about things in my podcasts, something called the sacred gifts. And it was a course I took a number of years ago and that lady is now a personal friend of mine, even though I quote and I called her, Monique ladette MacDonald, Monique, l e da Tila that you can find her anywhere sacred gifts, okay. And she talks about the things that are innately in us, like right out of the gate is one of those neat courses where you take and you realize, Oh, that’s not me. That’s a skill set. Like administration. I worked in an office for 30 years. All right, not my gift. Okay, I just learned to get good at it. So you can still have great skill sets and everything. But I have the gift of what they call service, and hospitality and knowledge. Those are my three main gifts. So I have to learn stuff. But then I also have to share it with you because what makes it a gift is that you share it with the world. So although I love music, I don’t have a gift of music, things like that. It’s something I definitely never share with the world.

Unknown Speaker 29:19
It’s just not pleasant.

Shelley R Shearer 29:20
But the gift of service was and what I realized early on in my accounting career was that gift was always in play with the smaller clients I was servicing. I was helping you was hospitality was even involved in my knowledge was needed. Right? When I got to be later in life when I was at companies like Bell Canada, one of those big telco companies here in Canada. those gifts were not engaged in I load my accounting work. I thought what happened? It’s the same job. So I’m making more money and I’ve got people reporting to me and I hated it hated every minute of it. So gifts are really important. So the gift of services there regardless and it’s innate in me. Therefore, if I know knowledge, I have to be able to share it and coaching is the best way to do that.

Brandon Handley 30:00
Yeah, I love it. I love. I love coaching, I love sharing out that knowledge I love. I love seeing somebody go through the journey, right? I love, I love seeing them come into it too, you know, and just being able to recognize it like just on a visual cue or even like through some phrases, if somebody’s like, typing in like Facebook or somewhere and you’re like, I know exactly where you are, I know exactly what’s going on in your mind. And we should talk, you know, and you know, and that’s it’s not a, it’s not a sign of transaction I’m looking for, right? It’s like, Look, this is I can help you if you’d like, kind of thing, right? Or like, so so I get that. And I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it called, here’s another one of my little rants. But I’ve seen it called, you know, generational knowledge, right? We need to, we need to pass that generational knowledge. Yes. Right. So I feel almost, and I’m sure there’s not intentional in any way, shape or form. But if you look at Western civilization again, especially in the US and Canada, the generations have been divided very much almost purposely, right? Like almost, you know, so, you know, when you get too old, they’re like, well, we got to ship you off. We can’t take care of you anymore. But like who, where’s where’s, where are the elders, and in that situation, right to pass,

Shelley R Shearer 31:22
which is a completely score, fundamental belief system, in every Aboriginal or ancient civilization in history. Right. The elders are the holders of the knowledge. We’ve got to the point that as soon as our kids hit nine, we’ve got them labeled as Tweenies, or millennials, there’s, so they’ve got this lovely little label, and then they start buying into that indoctrinated propaganda. It’s like, No, no, no, stop right now, please. Because all you are right now is just young, you might be growing up in different technology than us. Fair enough. But I think one of our biggest advantages, and just why cannot stand people to say things Oh, I can’t be bothered that things will never change.

Unknown Speaker 32:00
Really?

Shelley R Shearer 32:03
Because I’m pretty sure 200 years ago, you would dive in infection because penicillin wasn’t invented yet. So that’s sort of, you know, willful ignorance. Crazy. Yes, for sure. Do not put our children into a box and then do not ship off for elderly. Right? There is a humongous disconnect here in our society in this in this area.

Brandon Handley 32:20
Right. Yeah. So you see to salutely All right, all right. So you know, this, this kind of innate ability, the, you know, connected to source, kind of reconnecting back to source like, kind of after pushing it aside, or, or just not recognizing it for what it was for a while how, you know, how did that show back up in your life? And what’s it been like, since then?

Shelley R Shearer 32:48
I’d have to see it showed back up when I got a handle on accepting that this wasn’t a punishment, because that’s how I felt I felt God punished me with fibro. Hmm, I get you know, and it’s funny, because I wasn’t raised necessarily with some of the Catholic belief systems that you know, that things happen because you’ve been naughty, or that you need to do good things to earn your way into heaven. And like I say, remember, I’m married to a Catholic, and a very good friend. So some of this stuff is not I may know, I’ve talked to these people, I know how some of the religious doctrine works. And I’ve never, I’ve always believed in grace, because being in the Pentecostal church are simply saved, you know, you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, and the sins are forgiven. And when you’re raised with that sort of belief structure, it often makes me surprised how many people hang on to so much guilt and shame, because it’s like, well, if you truly believe that you can change as a person and that there was grace and there is forgiveness from a higher source. And Shouldn’t you be living in that in that grace? And that, that good stuff,

Unknown Speaker 33:54
right? Why wouldn’t you be?

Shelley R Shearer 33:56
Exactly So for me, when I came to the realization that this was not a punishment, and when I also started coaching with my own coach to say, this is a journey, and there’s lessons here I need to learn one of the things in you, you and I have Adam in common. One of the his strong belief structures is

Unknown Speaker 34:16
so you’re able to edit this

Unknown Speaker 34:17
will be good people have dogs,

Unknown Speaker 34:21
because

Unknown Speaker 34:22
you can always get up and walk away for a second and I can monitor if you’re, it’s okay.

Unknown Speaker 34:28
All she’s doing, she can’t

Unknown Speaker 34:29
see.

Shelley R Shearer 34:31
So one of the things that he really hammered home for me in our coaching sessions were that life happens for me, not to me,

Brandon Handley 34:37
that’s a great trend. And

Shelley R Shearer 34:38
when you can get your head around that as an individual, it changes everything. It changes how you look at every situation. And in fact, although maybe not 100%, you know, across the board relatable, it saved my marriage even when I was struggling a year or two ago because instead of looking at the lame, like, what are you doing? And how I’m feeling about it? Sure. Again, back to the emotions follow thoughts. Of course, I’m going to think negative or feel negatives, when all I’m thinking is he’s this he’s that he’s, what other response is your body going to have? Or your subconscious going to accept? Negative? Yeah. So when you can take responsibility for yourself, which is what really started this journey, and then believe that life is for me, well, if it’s for me, then that means everything is for me. So what do I need to take out of this situation? Well, I wouldn’t have a podcast, I wouldn’t be coaching, which I love. Excuse me, I wouldn’t have been able to even help my son through so much of what he’s gone through the last few years, because I was literally just two steps ahead of him going through my own stuff. I wouldn’t have been able to repair some of the relationship with my parents. And now that you know, there are failures, you know, they’ve got dimension, my mother has been diagnosed as well. So she doesn’t remember speaking me sometimes the day before, which is very sad. But it made me look at all of that very, very differently. What was the lesson here for me?

Brandon Handley 36:11
The idea of taking 100% ownership for your life. You know, I understood the concept, and I went and I saw cheese. Who’s the Chicken Soup for the Soul guy? Okay, so I went saw him. He really great. Yeah, really great presenter, right. But he said, You know, he goes, just try it for a little bit, just try to take 100% ownership, because because if you take you know, 100% ownership for everything, everything, including like everything, everything included yet, then you know everything, it’s on you, right, you’ve got that responsibility. But if you just take responsibility for 99% of it, that’s, that’s not gonna work. Right? So you’ve just so much is 1% can throw it off for you. And it’s kinda like you said to, you know, they say this, and I think the data, you know, either all of it, or none of it is God. And just like Albert Einstein says, to either everything or nothing is a miracle. Right? Like miracles. So I love that mindset, right, and making that shift that the world is out there for you. I don’t know if you’re familiar with a book that I love is called, are you ready to succeed? Um, I’ve

Shelley R Shearer 37:29
read that one.

Brandon Handley 37:30
So make a note of that one. Oh, good. I mean, I’m on my, I’ll probably read it for my fourth time this year, because, you know, I’ll read like a chapter a week, and you do the exercises in it, and you go through it. And in that book, he just talks about how you know, of Indian descent.

Unknown Speaker 37:46
How

Brandon Handley 37:48
the benevolent universe has Montana, right? It’s a benevolent universe. And if you can find, you know, what good the universe is kind of doing for you on your behalf today, then, that’s a game changer. It is. And also to your relationship example, right? I view my relationship as a gift and opportunity for me to recognize what my triggers are. Right? If

Unknown Speaker 38:16
that’s a good one. Yes. Right. Your

Brandon Handley 38:18
triggers are what are my triggers? Right? Because if I’m, if I’m, you know, it goes to that, that little letter writing exercise I’m sure you’re familiar with, like, if I write you a letter, if I write a letter to someone that’s pissing me off, and blah, blah, blah, and all these things that are annoying me about them? That’s a reflection on myself. Right? Yes. Well, so the reverse is true, though, too. So if I write a letter of like, all the admirable traits, you know, those are the things I admire about myself, right? So I’ll catch myself in the relationship situation be like, Oh, my gosh, she doesn’t do those who didn’t do that? I’m like, neither did I. Right. Right. So so I just look at it as kind of like an opportunity for me to recognize what my triggers are. And that was a lesson for me, because and again, too, if we don’t address those triggers are the things that are always blown up in our face, they will always be there.

Shelley R Shearer 39:09
Yes. And they will always control you. So you will always be doing the neat what we like, like I like to call the knee jerk reaction versus the planned response. Where would you rather live that planned response or a knee jerk situation where your subconscious is controlling? I always love that analogy with the iceberg. And there’s the waterline, and here’s what everyone sees what we think is our reality, right? And then this is our subconscious, huge compared to up here.

Brandon Handley 39:37
Right? Right. So I mean, the video may not go out so I’m gonna just explain so you know, she, she just drew like, kind of a triangle and it’s literally only like, in 5% maybe on the top and 95% on the bottom, which, you know, I always we can accord to your conscious and your subconscious. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So, um,

Unknown Speaker 39:58
you know, the

Brandon Handley 39:59
idea Spiritual dope is kind of like, we can get these spiritual, right we can get like these spiritual highs, right? Like it just like like, Oh man, I just feel like so filled with source and just filled with life. What where does that come for you like what are some of your spiritual highs? What are some of your spiritual dopes?

Shelley R Shearer 40:21
Definitely family and when I say that I’m married into an amazing family, and I have my granddaughter as well. And you know, it’s funny, you should just mention that. For some reason, it just popped into my mind growing up with the Bible, and the fact that you were two or more gathered together, the Bible says there will be also wood, you know what, that is actually a universal truth. And we see it every day and mob mentality, we thinking how does all those people get crazy and will because they became a group and the energy became a force of nature, the negativity that a few people were feeling, they surrounded themselves with it. So I remember my parents telling me growing up, he was very important to go to church on Sunday for that food. And I’m thinking as I got older, like, whatever. But actually, that is very true in our lives. It doesn’t necessarily have to be church for you find the friends, I found my tribe, and especially my neighborhood. So when I got sick, and we were able to move up the street into a house that had rental suite, so we didn’t have to downsize was a gift, just a gift from God. And because these people, these ladies, especially in this neighborhood, and even the men, they’re our friends, they’re our support network. And where we are gathered together, there is positive energy. And there is thought and there is solutions talked about and not just gossip that we’re looking for. You need to make a decision and actively go search for that in your life. Now, if it’s going to church on Sundays, great, just don’t get involved in a lot of negativities everyone’s going to hell but you nonsense, because that’s really roughly not going to give you what you need. There are still reasons why people gather, right? Why there are powers in numbers because exponentially our energetic beings of ourselves or a field grow and feed off each other. That’s why kids and gangs run around doing bad things. And it gets worse. And the opposite is true. For sure.

Brandon Handley 42:16
I just finished reading on force versus power by Dr. David Hawkins. And he talks a little bit about this too. Like I mean, this is a you read about you read about people to spend time with Yogi’s, right and how they’re all just kind of sitting there and meditation and then all of a sudden, like they get that whatever happens right? They get that head of spiritual dope and like what, but he calls it it’s a vibrational entrainment. So like, if you guys are all hanging out vibrating at a certain level, then you guys are also increasing each other’s vibration.

Shelley R Shearer 42:48
Exactly. or something. I actively search for that in my life. Yeah,

Brandon Handley 42:53
yeah, no, absolutely. But I mean, that’s what they tell you to go find people that are beyond where you are today, right? go seek those people out. And for the people that are listening that like the woowoo stuff, that’s one of the reasons why is because you are in an entrainment field then. Right,

Shelley R Shearer 43:11
exactly.

Brandon Handley 43:12
How much fun is that? Like, I mean, it may make us right makes me and that’s and i think that i think that you know, again, this podcast is also geared towards like taking all this spiritual energy and applying it to a successful kind of business and place What would you say, you know, how have you taken like your spiritual energy and infused that to a more holistic business practice? I would say

Shelley R Shearer 43:41
I don’t think I will actually the simple answer that is I don’t think I could coach without it if I hadn’t made that choice and that change wouldn’t be coaching okay. I just wouldn’t be I was my old self is too logical to right or wrong to not self yes an ego but I was very independent and bit bit of a loner, and I still am to a certain extent I’m what they call an extroverted introvert. I need a lot of downtime to recover. And being I guess, being a bit of Pathak, I guess they call it people’s emotions affect me. And I really had to learn to protect myself while still giving back. So if I hadn’t come to some of those realizations, yeah, I would still just be doing accounting work and worrying about debits and credits, not about people’s well being.

Brandon Handley 44:27
Tell me tell me a tool or visualization or something you use to protect your energies. And I asked this because I don’t have that problem. Like I like I am. I’m not an MP, right. Like I like, I like people and I feel your emotions and we’re all cool, but like it doesn’t. I don’t feel it. Right. So but I do know people that experienced the same thing. So what do you do to protect your energy?

Unknown Speaker 44:58
Yeah. Oh,

Shelley R Shearer 44:59
that’s an interesting one. I have to be careful what I read and watch on TV for starters. Okay, very much so because it affects me, it affects my sleep and affects my thought patterns. I do take a lot of quiet downtime. And in fact, we’ll be going back, you know, we don’t wait up to our family’s home in penticton, which the Okanagan Valley here in BC, fruit wine country for us, that’s lovely. And we have a little house that I lived in as a child and has always stayed in the family. And I’m going to head back up there for a few weeks. Next month on my own, I want to do the outline for the book, because I just need to be out of the energetic field of sometimes all the chaos that’s even going on in my own home. Just people I’ve had students that live with us and get it done. And I do you need to just decompress a lot, watching what goes in my brain, I take it all on. And what I didn’t realize is when I was younger, one of the things about being my personality trait was amplified in this aspect, not realizing I had empathic abilities, in the fact that I just shut myself down, I built a really strong wall around myself, and didn’t let me out very often. Because they didn’t know how to protect that it was just I might as well have just, you know, stuck my heart out of my chest, lay there and let you poke needles at it. And it’s like, that’s just a bizarre visual. But that’s almost like what felt like to me. So now I work very hard at not over scheduling my days. And not being with people day in and day out. I cannot do that very hard to my husband who’s a true extrovert. But for me, people drain me they don’t charge me He is a full on. We’ve done this, this and this now let’s go to the after party because I’m gonna get you set up. I’m like, Oh my gosh, let

Brandon Handley 46:37
me go home to my bathtub. Definitely, definitely more the after party kind of guy. That’s okay. So

Shelley R Shearer 46:44
you’re the after party and kind of guy or not.

Brandon Handley 46:45
I am okay. At least I was right. Like, I mean, it’s been, you know, my whole journey has been, you know, just kind of letting go some of the things that didn’t serve me like so now I’ll shut down and be like, you know, if I’m in a fun man and party atmosphere, I’m like, nothing here for me go have fun. I’ll see you guys later. Right? Like, because I’d rather go watch Autobiography of a yoga

Shelley R Shearer 47:10
Yogi. Okay, you know what I mean? But that’s the big thing is recognizing it about yourself. So many people remove themselves from the situation without understanding why they’re doing it. The understanding of the motivation is

Brandon Handley 47:21
so important. I think that, you know, we could probably wrap it with with something like that, where you started off with that, right, recognizing where your emotion was coming from, which was being driven by a thought. And then not just recognizing that being able to transform that energy, right? It’s an immediate, it’s kind of like the old old school railroad tracks right here it comes to train the trains already gone. The beautiful thing about the train that we run and operate in our mind is that we can switch those tracks at any time.

Shelley R Shearer 47:53
Yes, exactly. So I’ve always loved the expression, like you say, to end this here, I’ve always loved the expression, it’s all in your mind. Because it is a full believer on that I believe in the placebo effect, I believe that we have the ability to change based on how we think about things. So really understanding what you need as an individual and taking that time, and not allowing people that don’t understand how paths work draining me all the time. That has been a godsend for me. And the big thing too, is that you cannot apologize for it, then quit apologizing to the world around you. That doesn’t understand. Like I say I’m married to an extrovert, full on and because I’m social social story, people always thought we were the same. But I need very, very different recovery tools than he does. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 48:41
was important to recognize. So thank you. That’s definitely some nice tools. I think for people that experienced that. Me on like a lead ball, like I don’t even know. Right. So and it’s that’s okay, too. So what, where can we send people to hang out with you? I mean, it’s been a ton of fun. I will keep going. But I have absolutely no,

Shelley R Shearer 49:00
I know we do. And we’re gonna we’ll do this again soon, I promise. And I’d love to have you as guest on my show as well, because I my listeners would just I have a very large male demographic of all i don’t know why but I do. And so they would just love they love it. When I do interviews. You can reach me anywhere at living well with shell that is the name of the Instagram page, the Facebook page, my email living well with Shell at gmail, the generic one. Anything living well with Shell, you will find me on social media.

Brandon Handley 49:24
Awesome. So thank you so much for coming on today. I really enjoyed it. Thank

Shelley R Shearer 49:27
you for having me. It’s been wonderful. We’ll see you soon. Absolutely. Excellent.

Unknown Speaker 49:32
Thanks for listening to the spiritual Dell. And thank you, Shelley, for being on the show. Spiritual dub. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and on our website does spiritual dope.com

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Prepare yourself for the upcoming interview that I had with Brandon Marshall Havener as we traipse through topics such as: Understanding your value money Magic* Using your relationship rebound to reforge your broken ass, the upper limit problem, and much much more!

Sorry I Offended You Podcast

Brandon Marshall Havener Instagram

Smart Assery Dot Com

Brandon Handley 0:00

Or 54321 Hey, there’s spiritual dope. I am on with Brandon haven or otherwise known as the spiritual smart as and, you know, just talking with him right now we had some conversations back and forth a few years back. This was when I was afraid, personally to be leading with spirituality. And I was really I was admiring you, Brandon. Not me, Brandon, you, Brandon, for for, for leading that way. And I thought that was really I thought that your unique sense of humor and felt like you were doing a kind of like a fearless sense. And I’ve really admired that. So thanks for being on here today.

Brandon Havener 0:38

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Thanks for having me.

Brandon Handley 0:41

Absolutely. Absolutely. So, I like to start this off with like, you know, the universe creates through us, right, and the universe, you know, kind of puts us together, and whoever’s, like, you know, tune in in the podcast today and check on you and I out. They need to hear something today and it’s only going to come through you so what’s what’s that What’s that person need to hear? That’s coming through you in this podcast today.

Brandon Havener 1:05

I think the main thing is, you know, talking about spirituality and some of the shit that people would I don’t know if I’m allowed to cuss here

Brandon Handley 1:14

cannot say it’s spiritual. You know? I don’t know spiritual cleansing.

Brandon Marshall Havener 1:20

Yeah, so I you know, like anybody who

Brandon Marshall Havener 1:24

who finds pulled to that kind of stuff there’s going to be that fear of ridicule and being called crazy and you know, I think like spirituality and some of the conspiracy stuff to kind of go hand in hand where like some people are like really going into Oh my God, that’s crazy people have lost their mind and even your family might think you lost your mind. So you know just kind of like the conversation we had a little bit before we started recording it’s confronting you lose your you start losing old parts of your identity when you decide to go on the spiritual journey, and I really You know, I hope this episode really helps people into leaning into that or like really owning who they actually are, you know, rather than hiding in the corner and being like, Well, I have these thoughts, but I’m not going to talk about it.

Brandon Handley 2:13

Now. That’s awesome. So I definitely want to get into that. But before we, before we get into that, let’s, let’s dig into, you know, who the spiritual market as is and kind of where you are in life, what you kind of what you offer out there. Let’s dig into that a little bit. So if somebody never met you, and you could say more than five words, because we have social media, what would you be saying?

Brandon Marshall Havener 2:39

I would say that my content is like a blend of comedy and spirituality. And it’s really helpful for people to move in and move into their space as messengers and speak that authentic message that converts into paying clients. But in a way that’s enjoyable. I think a lot people focus on clients. But then they get the clients and then they can’t be themselves around them. And then they’re like, oh, what am I doing? So like I really taken the blend of, do you feel good about your art? And are you profiting off of that art rather than doing business well, but feeling horrible because you’re not getting creative, or doing art, but not creating that into business because it’s not translatable into business. And I think it gets to be a both slash and conversation.

Brandon Handley 3:32

Now, I love it, right? So you’re helping people who are in one of those spaces already, right and to, for the person who’s solely like focused on business and coaching and getting clients. You’re like, hey, loosen up a little bit. This should be This should be fun for you, and that should shine through somewhere. Otherwise you look very clinical. Right? And you’re probably not having fun yourself. And I can tell it looks like you’re not having fun yourself because you looked pent up whenever I see you, right? Yeah. And then you’ve got the artists person who’s like, who’s like, I’m not worried about money and I don’t care and like, you know, there’s just like there’s like, but in the end, like if you just make help that artists person who’s who is very creative to just get over that chasm or whatever, just a little bit of like, hey, it’s okay to take money for what you do. Right? And it’s okay to profit from what you love to do. And, and and kind of merge it right. So you kind of merging those two, is that what I’m hearing you say?

Brandon Marshall Havener 4:33

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And that kind of brings me back before I even considered myself a business owner. I was doing hip hop music and I was having people come into my parents basement to record and I was so afraid of charging people I was like, you know, they’re my friends or like, you know, or I wouldn’t be too pressured about charging so I would find myself, you know, working on this art and I I really think it takes away You know, your love for the art when you’re not owning your value and charging for it because then all of a sudden you find yourself doing a bunch of stuff for people for free. And, you know, you may hear the similar thing from a lot of people where it’s like, just give me your art and I’ll give you exposure that occur. And that just it really eats away at your soul and sort and you may even fall into the trap of feeling like you don’t really love your art when really it’s just the boundaries that was failed to me place there.

Brandon Marshall Havener 5:35

Sure, sure. Um, yeah, tell me a little bit more about like, what you mean by by the boundaries being failed to play, sir.

Brandon Marshall Havener 5:42

Yeah, so it’s like, you know, like, someone might come up to you and say, Hey, you know, do this graphic for me because exposure, you know, I’ll give you exposure and return and then you’re like, doing hours of work for somebody because it’s like, you know what they care about me they’re given the exposure or other opinion You sort of like, just got a boss for your art. And then you’re like, wait a minute, I’m not getting paid for this. I’m not doing exactly what I want to do. And I think that’s really something that people fall into. It’s like not, and it starts from like, really not valuing the art. Right? You tivity because it’s so easy for us,

Brandon Handley 6:20

right? Yeah, no. 100% right. So I mean, that I think that speaks to, like, the language that you speak, right? Like you speak your own type of language. And it’s so easy for you just like this art that you couldn’t possibly understand how, how somebody else finds value and what comes so easily you? Yep. Right. So yeah, that’s, I mean, that’s great. And you know, to understand the value that you bring to someone, and if you’ve never charged somebody for it before, you don’t know it can be an uncomfortable situation, because then somebody’s like, well, you’re just really greedy. Why don’t you you know, just give it to me. Yeah. If you’re so speaking, you know, in terms of, you’re so spiritual like, shouldn’t be, shouldn’t the energy just come to you when you need the things that you need? Right? So, I think that’s a challenge too, especially in this this, uh, you know, spiritual coaching or spiritual space. And I’ve seen I’ve seen that be said, and I was like, well, this is just an energy exchange. Give me a fucking money.

Brandon Marshall Havener 7:14

Yeah, right. I want to get paid. I mean, money was created to make things simple. So we’re not trading like fucking potatoes or apples, right? Like we were put into like, you know, obviously people have their own opinions about the system and all things but the brilliant thing about the system of money is we don’t have to do all this guesswork of what is you know what things are valued at what So, really, I tried to stay away from the barter stuff because of that because it can complicate things and it’s not to say bartering is evil or wrong or anything like that. But I just feel it’s easier. Even if we are doing some sort of trade. It’s like wait, you know, I Have an established price for the service I do but then I’ll sell you this and then I’ll buy that for even if you know like you do miss like buying from each other rather than doing a trade because then the the boundaries can get kind of murky and then you you can leave that relationship with resentment because no one was really keeping tabs on what parts of value is being exchanged not 100% right when you’re using money there’s there’s a predetermined set right? This is $1 that’s $1 you know, versus you know, give me that Apple for that orange type thing that’s just it never it never really works out and there’s always I think on one and a level of discomfort right like yeah you know still waiting on my oranges and you know the other person like they’re not in season yet bro right? So I mean that type of thing. So, so I love I love that you know you’re doing it from the side but you know what, I don’t know. What I don’t know is like, you know, how do you go from like hip hop in the basement to the military to you Being in this spiritual space. Wow, this is though, that it I was all I always saw myself as like a creative artist and hip hop at one point that was like, I would say, like right now, you know, writing content is sort of the same thing. You know, it’s like it’s putting art together and putting it out there. But what I found is in my, I was gonna say late 19th, but 19th isn’t a thing. But like, when I was 19 or so I started getting into personal development, spirituality and business. So I was dabbling in different things. And, you know, in fact, there’s some more stuff in there. I probably did so much stuff in my early 20s, but didn’t master everything out of it. But I did real estate investing and, you know, I, I did internet marketing, like I started an email list and start leasing hip hop beats, so I was just experimenting with a lot of stuff. And you know, I guess that’s good for a young person because you get to see what you like and what you don’t like. Then I realized that for I had that realization, I probably read it in a book somewhere. But I had the realization that my mind was all over the place like I wanted to go from real estate to selling hip hop beats, internet marketing, and all this crazy stuff. And then I joined the military, not as a way of like, let me get free college or anything like that, or it wasn’t even about the money because the money was actually quite horrible. But I knew that it would help me be disciplined into like, following something through to completion. In fact, I remember, like one of my mom’s friends was she she shared with me that he was telling her that he didn’t believe I was going to go through basic training. So like, that was a big thing for me to go through that grueling activity, even if it was painful and then completing completing it anyway. And I think that’s what a lot of creatives need because You know, when you’re a startup or you’re like, you get so inspired by a new idea. A trap could be when things get tougher or you know, you meet that resistance is to convince yourself, Well, this isn’t aligned anymore. So I’m gonna move on to a new craft and then a new craft, but then you master nothing. So I think the the big thing about military is it taught me to stick through something even when the resistance started getting high or got inconvenient.

Brandon Handley 11:29

I’m excited. That makes sense. Makes a lot of sense. I think it’s really interesting, too, that you got involved. I mean, how did you listen when I was 19? Um, you know, the furthest thing from my mind was like, personal development and or real estate investing or any of that stuff. You know, I was, I was partying real hard. So I mean, I think that that even indicates You know, this this what, how’d you how’d you get into it at that young age?

Brandon Marshall Havener 11:58

Yeah, I I was online I got out of like a horrible breakup. And I was the first question is how do I get my ex back? So I was looking that up and then I ended up on some guy’s email list and it just fell I fell into this rabbit hole of personal development because it’s like, he was selling me getting my ex back. But it was really uh, you know, how do you improve your, you know, body language and how you carry yourself and how do you interact with relationships? So, you know, I started becoming a new person and learning all this new stuff. And then I asked myself like, well, if I can learn this, isn’t there a way to learn how to like make a ton of money rather than going to college because this community college stuff isn’t working for me. So yeah, it was it was pretty much like one rabbit hole led to the other and that led to spirituality. I think I first heard about Wayne Dyer from dating program. I don’t know if you ever heard of pagane but he had an alias David DeAngelo. And he would talk about how to attract women. But this one program I got from him was like talking about Wayne Dyer. So all of a sudden, I’m listening to Wayne Dyer in my early 20s. So

Brandon Handley 13:15

Wow, that’s awesome. That’s awesome. So, who knows? I think like, how do I get my ex back is like the number one. Google search, right? Yeah, I think it’s like ranks up top there. But who knows? Who knew that that would kind of lead to, you know, kind of spiritual and personal development. I love I love how you kind of took on that challenge. You you you cited that kind of like a personal challenge for yourself. Right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 13:38

Yeah. Come on. I mean, even yoga that was promoted to me as Hey, there’s a lot of women that do yoga and there’s not a lot of men that do yoga.

Brandon Handley 13:47

do yoga. in your favor, right? Yeah, I generally favor and I think that um, you know, it’s kind of funny you bring up Wayne Dyer is actually just putting a piece together based off of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and You know, Cain dire dire like worked under him right on if he knew that like he as low like he ran into math low I forget one of his stories right and that’s kind of how he went into this space I feel right like I don’t have the full story but I do know that Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a little bit more I think intended and came from like a Dyer space like Wayne Dyer space then you know how we we use it we leverage it right now for like marketing for for everything right like I you know, just like college and all these other things. But I think that you know, big part a big part of that and and even when I got out of dire is is like you know that self actualization piece right at the top of that top of that pyramid. And it’s funny because you’re talking about the you know, your base level needs right? Like I need, you know, I need my girlfriend back I need all these other things back and until like you fix all those pieces. The rest of it doesn’t matter. Like these are the things that I need my life right and until I get that then then Then we’re not talking. Right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 15:02

Yeah, a lot of people are, you know, brought to a certain level of pain and then they’re like, they just fall into spirituality somehow.

Brandon Handley 15:11

Well, yeah, I mean that that could be right. That could be I’m always on the other end of that, to be honest with you, I you know, how I kind of came into it was not painful for me, right. Like, you know, I kind of fell into it, right, like a fucking swan song or whatever, you know, like, oh, whatever, you know, but but which is why I’m always like, you know, you don’t have to you don’t have to go through like, you know, tremendous pain to like, have a better life. Right? Yeah,

Brandon Marshall Havener 15:38

I want that. I’m gonna Place Order now. My next life. I wanted to be a little more smooth.

Brandon Handley 15:44

Yeah, I mean, listen, don’t get me wrong, like you. Maybe you got into it earlier. And it was rougher. It came from me, like later in life is like, Well, yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and take that. Take that experience. So I know you’ve gone over this in one of the recent podcasts. I love To so you know if you’re working with somebody and it’s brand new to them getting into this internet marketing space I you know what she calls it just internet marketing anymore or is it marketing in general social media marketing anyways? What would you do if you were starting today?

Brandon Marshall Havener 16:17

Oh man. So what did I say on that podcast? Yeah, so like if I started today I would well first I think like the main thing is speaking a consistent message like that’s your first line of defense because you want people coming to your profile and having a reaction of fuck Yes, sir. Fuck no. Got your page in there either leaving right away or fully attracted and loving yourself like it’s a breath of fresh air. So I would start with like, talking all the crazy stuff that you wanted to talk about and not even worry if one person likes it or not. In fact, I sort of recently got into that on Twitter, because Twitter’s a new battle. Feeling for me. So I’m just like posting my craziest thoughts on Twitter and seeing if like someone comes on there and picks it up. And then the other thing is being proactive. I would really look into who speaks a message or who is an expander for you. And this is something that Lacey Phillips talks about she, she labels them expander so I’m sure she owns that word or something. But expanders are basically people in doing something that you are a want to be doing in a way that you want to be doing it and have like a similar story or you know, a similar vibe. So, I’d say for me, like one of those people would be JP Sears like he’s doing a good job of mixing comedy and spy.

Brandon Handley 17:46

Yeah, you know, yeah. Okay, I see that for you.

Brandon Marshall Havener 17:50

Yeah, so So with that, not only are you finding communities with like minded people that you can start adding into your social media. You also have an incentive. Have somebody who’s already doing what you want to do. And it’s like you building a community with some people who also love JP Sears and a few other people that you admire, like that’s just one of the most brilliant ways because you’re producing something that is on the same value level and like the energy level, but also like a similar topic that works with them, but you’re also bringing your own flavor into it. So it’s just like a good it’s a good strategy of knowing who’s going to be more receptive to your work. And this isn’t perfect, like if you’re just starting out you you’re going to evolve you’re going to change and you’re going to learn new things, but it’s realizing that market research a big part of market research is actually starting the conversation and rather what whether it’s perfect or not, like just having that imperfect conversation and and letting it be more of a test rather than taking it personal. And then I would say the method there is Like, what I was taught was like a three by three by three method. So like, find three people communicate with three different communities. So like, whether it’s through people’s statuses or their Facebook groups or whatever it may be, and just have fun conversations like, like you’re going to a party, you know, you’re not selling hard or anything like that. You’re just, you know, having fun and communicating with people online. And then add three of those people today and and engage on three posts of theirs that you you resonate with. I think I put a lot of threes in that, but

Brandon Handley 19:38

that’s good enough that I mean, it’s really good, right? But I mean, I think that um, and I can go I can go back to when I first started, right, it was a spam friend, everybody, try and get them all in your group and then sell them on your stuff, right? Yeah. So there’s a lot of missing nuances in that strategy.

Brandon Marshall Havener 19:57

I was taught to comment and like and message them right away. Right? I disagree with that. Now I agree with like, having conversations in their comments section. By the way, a big thing is that you actually resonate with the status rather than pretending like Yeah, great. I liked your dog. Right? And you actually hate dogs. But um, for sure, but like, you know, I just, you know, comment and engage with people with no attachment of if they’re gonna join my group or buy my stuff. Like, right there, I started the conversation and then you know, they’re coming up on my profile and having a conversation. It’s more of a it’s more of like a gradual build. You want it to feel as natural as possible rather than forced or like forcing yourself to introduce yourself for sure because the relationship will grow like there’s one person that I found and I thought his video was absolutely I thought his content and his video was absolutely amazing. And you know, he His he lives in DC. So that’s cool. And I thought like, hey, that could be a future friend actually. But then two days ago see I’m I’m talking about like a budding bromance now. Two days ago, He’s, uh, you know, he’s spouting off on his livestream that I win the best content of the, you know, month award. So like, right there, you’re building a relationship. And the same thing goes with attracting clients. And that’s exactly how my relationship started to. She found me in a Facebook group and fell in love with my content. I fell in love with her content. And then we went on a first date, and we did a live stream together. So awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. It’s great for building amazing relationships

Brandon Handley 21:45

now. Yeah. So I love it. Right, because again, it’s the whole spam Enos aspect of it, right. And I think Yeah, those days are gone, which is actually kind of nice, right? But you brought up the bromance part. I just want I just remembered like I met a guy, you know, when I was in North Carolina and we got together we had some lunch and stuff. He goes out What are you looking for? I was like, I’m looking for a lifelong friendship and I think you like right there. He like kind of just cut it off. Right? But But also, you kind of talk what I’m hearing you say too, is it’s a little bit like a mush. Are you a story brand? person? Have you? Are you familiar with like, you know, you date date date, you asked for marriage? Somebody says, No, you date you date some more? Yes. for marriage. You know what I mean? So you continue on that relationship. And every once in a while, I mean, you go to sell them, right, like, all right, every once in a while, I was like, here’s the line. Are we are we are we together forever now? Okay, let’s take some more. You know, is that what you’re saying?

Brandon Marshall Havener 22:41

Yeah, something like that. Like, you know, like I see. I see like my Facebook community or my Instagram community, I guess, you know, people that can interact with and are like minded and who would enjoy my content, and often I enjoy their content. And then I’m open about my programs. So more like attraction marketing, where it’s like, I’m gonna put my stuff out there every day. I know, in the internet marketing rules, I think some people say I only mentioned a program one out of every 20 times, right? I kind of blow those rules out of the water. And every day I’m promoting, you know, a new program that’s, you know, that I’m doing. And I think one piece of resistance that people will think about that is, is that being too salesy, or you know, are you selling too much, and it’s shifting the mentality. One part of my mentality is if people can walk away with this content for free and benefit off of it, but then I have no problem with putting a call to action at the end of it, and telling people how they can reach the next level. And then another part of the mentality is that I’m inviting them rather than hard selling them, and it’s going to be a win win situation for them because they’re exchanging money and they’re getting an awesome service work.

Brandon Handley 23:58

Yeah, I mean, Well, listen, I don’t know how How many programs you’ve actually consumed yourself that have been free and you’re like, you know what, this one was free. I don’t care. Yeah versus versus I paid $500 for this, I’m gonna finish this shit. Huh?

Brandon Marshall Havener 24:12

Right and energetic spiritual sense. A lot of times my clients will join a program didn’t read one piece of content and then money drops in for them or same thing happens on the other end of things like money will drop in for me when I make an online investment. I think even most recently my girlfriend hired a new coach. I think it was like a 2500 package and less than 24 hours she received 2000 like just insane thing. Yeah, it’s pretty great for itself.

Brandon Handley 24:44

Yeah, and that’s pretty crazy. Kind of like once you release it, it comes right back, right. Yeah, I you know, I’ve been a big fan of recently More more recently than not is like, you know, if I if I send this money out, I’m expecting to come back with his friends. Yeah, right. And like, you know, so But that but that can be a challenge. Now, let’s talk about that a little bit too is like, you invested in yourself, like very heavily at one point. And it sounds like at one point maybe meant like too much.

Brandon Marshall Havener 25:11

But yeah,

Brandon Handley 25:12

what would you say the return of your investments have been? And was it too much?

Brandon Marshall Havener 25:17

Well, right now, it wasn’t too much. But if you if you go into the mentality of, you know, I making this investment and I need the money back tomorrow, or you’re putting yourself on an island in survival mode, that’s when it becomes detrimental. But I would even say like, the big investments I made back in 2015 is still paying dividends in my business, my relationship and all the things because it’s like, I wouldn’t be in the relationship I’m in now if I didn’t have the tools or I didn’t go to those retreats. I just want to be as awakened. I, you know, we wouldn’t be talking about the things we talk I wouldn’t be on this podcast. But where I went wrong is I played this peer pressure game of saying yes to every single thing. I was kind of like in circles of where there’s these hardcore sales bros and stuff like that, where, you know, there’s kind of like this masculine ego of saying no to investing in yourself. So I was constantly saying yes to things even and getting to a point where I was abandoning my own financial values. And there’s also a lot of lingo in the coaching industry, where it’s like, if you don’t invest in yourself, or if you don’t have a one on, you know, one on one coach or mastermind or whatever, how can you be selling coaching so I was always putting that pressure on myself to like, really amplify things to the top level and sort of like, take ridiculous leaps that that put me into situations that I shouldn’t have been in and how I would change that. is just to take it slower, you know, I would have made some of the same investments. But I wouldn’t have I wouldn’t have abandoned myself, I would have said no to a lot more things than I then. I did back then.

Brandon Handley 27:14

Sure, sure. But I mean, you know, in the end, though,

Brandon Marshall Havener 27:18

you’re here now, right? You kind of meet

Brandon Marshall Havener 27:20

Mike. Like, I can look back and say I would have changed it, but I also think I don’t, you know, I don’t regret it. And maybe I want to so it’s a weird catch. 22 right there,

Brandon Handley 27:32

not for sure. Sure. I love to that you you’d mentioned that, uh, you know, you got almost as much value out of some of the lower cost products as you did from some of the higher cost products. I’m curious myself, like, what were some of the ones in the lower end? And you know, and the top end that really brought and changed

Brandon Marshall Havener 27:51

the way Yeah, I would say one big thing was actually when it was like I couldn’t do you know, I couldn’t do any high end stuff anymore. Like I’ve been I went to the brim of what I could do my capacity there and then I think it was like a it might have been a $500 course back in 2016 and it was a manifestation course and what are not only did I learn more about journaling and manifestation I also realize what I was doing with my marketing that wasn’t aligned for me so at that time I stopped booking my my days with sales calls all the time where I was stopped hiding my prices, and not saying any of that stuff is bad. A lot of people succeed with that stuff. But it wasn’t working for me like it just wasn’t. And I noticed that I was thriving more when I was more transparent about my prices, I was more open and I was using my content to pull people in. Rather than thinking I had to book a bunch of calls with people or falling even falling into the mentality that the only way out could transform lives was high ticket like, I was meant to do a lot of low ticket because and I think one big indicator is if you’re an artist or a content creator that loves content, you’re probably designed to do a lot of low ticket stuff, not just low ticket stuff, but you know, you probably are designed and you may hear a message from a lot of high ticket coaches, that high ticket is on the way cuz that’s a way that they’re selling. So that’s a big one that I learned and then later on, you know, I was going through, you know, some previous relationship turmoil with an ex, back back full circle to what started personal development, right. But I remember joining a program for like, $300 and the day a day or two after, you know, the relationship broke apart and it was it was meant to happen, but it was painful, right. And I you know, I just liked it. Myself heeling in ways that, you know, I didn’t realize I needed to do, I was like holding on to an old relationship. And it just like broke that wide open the moment I joined the program, and I wouldn’t be here today, if I didn’t go through that work.

Brandon Handley 30:16

Now. That’s great. That’s great. And, you know, I think that I’ve also heard you say, you leverage this kind of like the compound effect to it’s these small investments and even some of the big ones that, you know, even if you expect that result to happen today, like you said, right, like, come from a place of scarcity, like listen, I just dropped like 20 k this year, and I’m gonna meet all that back right now. Right? And that can be scary to put yourself in that position. But over time that the dividends start adding up that one can kind of say,

Brandon Marshall Havener 30:45

Yeah, absolutely. And I think it’s crucial, you know, some coaches may not agree, you know, with this message or like, wait, you can’t tell people this. By it’s so crucial not to put yourself into survival mode. And saying this has that and put that on your heart, you know, and you you’re you’re making it a lot harder for you to be creative and in manifestation mode and open to receiving and all of that stuff. So, you know stretch you know, stretch your investments and increase your capacity you know, do some of the scary stuff but don’t do it in a place of wait if I make this investment I’m not going to pay rent for three, you know, is gonna This is like three months of rent. So I really consider that.

Brandon Handley 31:31

Not me. I think it’s an important message. Right? I I you know, I hate to bring up Tony Robbins, but I’ll bring up Tony Robbins. I still remember like, one of his messages and one of his earlier tapes is he’s talking to Al Gore. Right? And Al Gore said, I didn’t lose because of XYZ and Tony Robbins like no, you’ll get lost because you weren’t resourceful enough, right? And I think that if you open yourself up to what’s possible, and you’re not going at all this stuff from a scarcity mindset, right? As in like it’s urgent this has to happen. You might find like there’s a whole bunch of different ways to get what you need to get what you want. And I’ll say this because my first my first program I took I put it on a credit card and then like for some reason like I don’t know why I didn’t think to get like a small personal loan or something which is so easy to get right and wouldn’t had like to worry and panic about paying off the debt on the credit card as fast right? So, you know, for for anybody’s out there like, I mean, listen, there’s there’s programs from $50 to you know, 25 grand, depending on your, your tastes, right. But when you’re coming at it, don’t come at it from like, you have to have that money in your pocket today. You don’t have to put it on a credit card. There’s other ways to kind of get that money as well. So I’m just gonna leave it with that right? Just because,

Brandon Marshall Havener 32:47

yeah, it

Brandon Marshall Havener 32:48

doesn’t have to just be on your credit card. Right? That’s, that’s huge, because oftentimes, when we’re stuck in our head, and we only look at it through one narrow vision, we think that the things that we want to obtain is hard. But if you allow yourself to open up your mind and ask yourself, you know, maybe even journal it out and ask the question of like, what are all the ways that I can make this happen? Then you find multiple solutions and then you you get out of your head and you realize, wait, manifesting that thing is a lot easier than I thought it was, you know, something that I noticed with me was support like having cleaning, you know, cleaning service and all that stuff. I thought that was like, I was just conditioned at a young age thinking that that’s what only rich people do, or, you know, like you it was like, super expensive, but then you just like look at it, it’s like, oh, you know, $100 or so or this is you know, this percent of my income, whatever. That’s not that’s not bad. You know, right. I think we kind of look at support as some a lot of times you look at support as something that’s unreachable when it for many people is probably reachable now and will open up a lot.

Brandon Handley 33:56

I was looking at it as if you can go spend like 60 bucks for a case study. 120 bucks at a night at the bar, like maybe if you don’t do that spend that money at the bar, you might be able to spend that like on getting a house cleaner and having these other things or, you know, maybe saving up for some of these courses or someplace that might have a benefit. Right? And look, man, if you’re going to the bar and hanging out there, I don’t care you do you right? Nothing wrong with that, because Lord knows I spent a lot of money in the bars myself. Right. So well, you

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:27

can’t be doing that

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:28

now. No, no, I mean, look, I mean,

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:31

time, hey,

Brandon Handley 34:32

it’s a bad idea. It’s a bad idea. But be it’s just like, you know, when you really look at it, like you probably do have the resources to do some of these things. You just been using those resources in other areas, right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:46

Yeah. And sometimes we kind of look at that through our old conditioning and patterns that probably our parents told us or the people that were raising us told us and we got to like take a step back and be like, wait, what’s really possible?

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:59

Right? Yeah, well Hey look at me

Brandon Handley 35:00

so I love I love so spirituality right

Brandon Marshall Havener 35:04

I don’t know what your kind of your approaches

Brandon Handley 35:06

but with you know your spiritual self what is impossible what’s impossible yeah with with with spirituality is there anything that’s not possible

Brandon Marshall Havener 35:18

I guess there’s nothing really impossible you know it probably probably be tough to walk on water but shit maybe there’s a way the

Brandon Handley 35:27

right shoes will do it man the right shoes though but i mean you know so because and the reason I kind of bring this up because a man says you rise to your level of thinking right so if you’re thinking of yourself as a human being you kind of think of yourself as just what you see here right and and all these other things and if you can think of yourself as a spiritual being, you know well then then automatically like I’m no longer Am I confined to just like my tangibles, right. The things I can see, hear, touch and smell the immediate senses. So I was just curious kind of what your take is on that. the mindset of spirituality.

Brandon Marshall Havener 36:01

Yeah, I just think quantum physics is so interesting because it’s like the idea that this computer’s not solid, or I’m not like, I don’t have my arms on the table right now. It’s all just like a projection from our mind. Yeah, I think like, there’s so much that’s possible. I think we’re kind of like in these constraints in the human experience, in a way, but I think it’s all it’s all by belief. Now, I don’t know if you know, I can’t tell everyone listening to this are going to walk through a door, something like that. Right. Right. I mean, closed door, but yeah, I think there’s, I think there’s like just a lot that we don’t know. Yeah, there’s a lot available to us that we have no idea and we’re sort of like on the tip of the iceberg of what we know or what we’re actually seeing. Or, you know, like, it’s like, you know, just by human vision, there’s probably a lot more around me right now that I don’t see.

Brandon Handley 36:59

I mean, they say you you’d only see like 99 or like, you know, 99.9% of like the light spectrum, you cannot see. So it’s like, I mean, there’s, you know, what am I missing? Right? What am I? What am I not seeing? Not as curious kind of on your take there. Right? And, you know, it’s funny that you bring up those, like, you know, what we know today what we think we know today, right? It is like just barely part of it. I mean, I was literally just reading an article that, oh, today they figured out sperm doesn’t swim the same way that they’ve always thought that it swam. So it’s like, it’s like, what how do we even get here but but even on top of that, right? Do you you know, do you Brandon know how your hair grows but you’re doing it right? Do you know how like your you know, your white blood cells inside of your own body that are closest thing to you that can be close to you? Do you know how that happens? But it’s fucking happening.

Brandon Marshall Havener 37:52

And that’s the thing you know, the main thing I think about is like wealth. You know, when people look at money, we try to I think our ego really tries to figure out like, how am I going to manifest this thing? Or how am I going to do it? And it’s kind of taking a step back and having that same thought process of our hair growing. It’s like, what if I just allowed it to happen? What if I just got out of the way and let it happen?

Brandon Handley 38:17

Yeah, that’s the whole Jesus take the wheel thing, right? Or, you know, let go and let God right. And this is like, but it’s terrifying to think in that way. I don’t know if you’ve read the Michael singer surrender experiment book. No, I haven’t read that one. But I mean, it talks exactly the same thing, though. Like, at some point. He’s like, God, just kind of I just kind of let go and let the let the universe take care of me ended up like a billion dollar company. I was like, Okay. I don’t know how you just fall into that shit. But, you know, I’m sure there had to be some involvement with it. But you know, so that’s what he said though. He said he felt like he just kind of opened up and let the things just kind of carry on through so and it should be as easy right? share this with you too I got this um I ordered a you know one of those mixed up incense packs right because well should be just as easy as as breathing right I’m not sure if you had anybody ever say why should this be just like breathing for you like what it’s not so put it hasn’t been up to this point so I got this I this is not an ad this is a this is it says money matrix it’s um you know incense so if I’m burning money matrix and money incense to it is just as easy so I get myself kind of conditioned to breathing in money so anyways,

Brandon Marshall Havener 39:37

I would have been a perfect dad though you might have to get an affiliate link,

Brandon Handley 39:40

if I can find one. So so the investing itself would cover kind of the compound effect. These are all things that have jotted down for you. I’ve heard you you know, I’d love to hear some more of your influences. I heard you mentioned kind of Hicks mentioned Dyer. I’m assuming you know you you’ve read the compound effect. The book what are some other like kind of influences and spaces? That a tune in today that are helping you on your way?

Brandon Marshall Havener 40:11

Yeah, so one of my one of my mentors and you know, I’ve gone through so many of our programs is Katrina Ruth. And I really like her because she has like the rebel, the mixture of like the rebel hustle vibe, but also the deep spiritual vibe and like when I found her like, that was a, you know, some of the programs that I did that were, you know, mid ticket and stuff that I was talking about. When I found her like, I was kind of like in the mixture of the spirituality and the hustle balance. So she really helped me break some of the rules and really become, you know, step into who I am today. That was really powerful. I really love some of Matt Kahn’s work like even just going on YouTube. And he has a book whatever arises love that or everything that arises love that something along the lines of that right and let’s see what book Am I reading right now? So this is a mixture of stuff because I go for Matt calm that’s like talking about love what arises and right now I’m reading Jocko willick Hi Yeah, I’ve been Navy dude yeah and like leadership strategies so I’m kind of diving into more masculine work as well. Ryan Metzler he has an awesome podcast order of man Andy for so real AF podcast so like is you know a mixture of that masculine energy and you know spiritual energy and I like to you know, I kind of like taking on like all that stuff.

Brandon Handley 41:47

Yeah. I love that I Ryan I interviewed on like a on my father had podcast years ago so they put me in touch with him. So, you know, it’s pretty cool. Definitely, you know, definitely intense right and kind of how it does Same but you know that that’s him, right? That’s t he is unabashedly himself. Oh, at least two he believes he is today. Right. And that’s, I love that. And, you know, I want to talk about that too is kind of how you talked about, you know, doing the things that you felt like you had to do, right, like, you know, the doing, doing the different types of methodologies and reaching out but then kind of winding it back so that you become yourself again. Yep. Yeah, talk about that a little bit so people can understand it. Understand it So, sure.

Brandon Marshall Havener 42:33

Yeah, I think it’s like kind of similar to the concept we were talking about when you only find one solution with the credit card but on a personal loan, and it’s like the same thing you may hear like a bunch of coaches and people that you’re following saying, this is how you do it, your sales call, do it this way. And then you’re convincing yourself like okay, what it must mean I’m unproductive if I’m not reaching out to people every single day or whatever, right? Matter of fact, I was in the trap of thinking that content was actually just fun for me. And reaching out to people was a real work. So if I did content that day, but I didn’t reach out to someone, I didn’t do enough work. So it’s just realizing and I think it’s seeking out and being curious about, if this doesn’t feel fully right of how I’m doing it and how I’m doing the business rules, what are some things that I get to do that would feel more expansive for me? So, you know, there’s so many different methods and strategies to build business, your business or personal development in general, really, but it’s really about finding that one align strategy that works with you like clockwork, and if you’re meeting a lot of resistance behind it alignment to that it’s something that should first be questioned.

Brandon Handley 43:54

The alignment should be

Brandon Marshall Havener 43:55

Yeah, sure

Brandon Handley 43:56

that that’s happening. Um, I like I think, I think you also talks about a little bit of perseverance. So to write, like, you know not to just stop, like, you know, if, if you’re aligned, and you’re like, Hey, I’m totally aligned, and then like, something kind of pops up in a way like, ah, I gotta go the other way and do something else. I mean, kind of getting past like, I don’t know if you’re a fan or if you’ve ever read Ryan holidays, the obstacles the way. But you know, that obstacle, that thing that gets thrown up in front of your alignment may be the thing that you need thrown up in your way so that you can expand and get beyond it to the rest of your alignment, which is on the other side of that shit.

Brandon Marshall Havener 44:35

Yeah, like be able to ask questions of what else can I try? What else can I do? What would what would work here? Rather than just hiding in the corner and being like, God doesn’t work? This sucks. Nothing works. Right? Well ask questions.

Brandon Handley 44:48

Yeah. What are some questions you like when something’s not working?

Brandon Marshall Havener 44:52

One thing I’d like just I wonder what else I get to try. You know, I wonder I wonder what else would work I wonder what would Feel expansive for me to do today? You know, and journaling it out when you get it out of your head, it really helps. And that’s something that I learned. I don’t know if you you’ve read gay Hendricks a big leap.

Brandon Handley 45:13

Not got it though. Sitting on my bookshelf

Brandon Marshall Havener 45:16

that is one of the most important books, okay.

Brandon Marshall Havener 45:20

It’s the upper limit problem. And he talks about like, drift, you know, there’s so many ways that we drift, like if we get distracted scrolling our newsfeed or binge eating or whatever it may be. But there’s only a few shift moves to get us into alignment and power again, and one of the major ones is curiosity. And so it’s like getting curious when you’re hitting an obstacle. That helps shift you back into alignment. Rather, I think one of people’s go to people’s go to response if they hit a hidden objective is to be like, Okay, let me distract myself with something. Let me go on the news. Let me either thing or whatever it may be. So I’m just asking that question and journaling it out and truly help.

Brandon Handley 46:06

Now I think that’s super beneficial. definitely helpful for anybody, you know, when you when you hit that obstacle, stop, pause and be like, how else can I process right? Like, this isn’t? This isn’t in my way again, this isn’t in my way, this is the way what you know, or, you know, I like the, the story of like, diamonds in my backyard, right? Like, the whole diamonds in the backyard stories, like, you know, you travel all over the world, look over the thing that you’ve got right there in front of you, right? So, you know, take that opportunity to step back and don’t get pensive, right, like, you know, you take that gasp and like you feel like you’ve got to figure it out right now. No, you don’t. You don’t have to figure it out right now. Take a breath. And how else can you approach it like Brandon saying,

Brandon Marshall Havener 46:46

I co facilitated event with a mentor of mine while back and I remember an exercise that we did that was really helpful in a physical sense, where, you know, you pair two people together and the dots go away. To get past that person that other person’s post a block you, right, I let you get past them. Yeah. And basically what we learned from that is if you try to use force, you’re not going to get past that person or, you know, unless you know, you’ve really got violent but that was part of the exercise right? By the solution ended up being is like if you could make them laugh or you did some goofy stuff or something like that, then you could find your way around them. And that’s sort of like every problem in life. It’s like when you when you can pattern interrupt or have fun within rather than being tense and strict and or even add breaths to the situation. The obstacle starts to dissolve.

Brandon Handley 47:41

Love it, love it. I think one of the other things I’ve heard too is is that laughter which is what you bring, right? You bring some good humor and some fun, that helps people. Remember things and I’m not sure what you found in terms of how laughter can be beneficial. What have you. What have you found

Brandon Marshall Havener 48:00

Yeah, so so with laughter, there’s a few things but like with laughter It’s really, it really lowers people’s resistance and allows people to receive stuff. So instead of being all tense or combative with people, you know, you can really get a message across. If you can have somebody laughing. They may might not even agree with the opinion, but now they’re laughing. And they’re actually considering it. But I think the first thing I started about laughter and I think it was like Marilyn Monroe saying, Do you know if you could get a girl to laugh, you can date or write it or do anything or something like that. And dating was my first thing that I was working on. So I was like, hey, if I can learn to be funny, then you know, I can be attractive to women. So like, but the same thing goes with clients and people in general. Like if you can get them to laugh, they’ll want to be around you.

Brandon Handley 48:50

For sure. For sure. I’d much rather hang out with somebody who’s making me laugh and making me cry or too serious, right? So very cool, man. So I want to talk about what you’ve got running out. out there right now your current offering, which is the sole troll, Tell me Tell us a little bit about what’s happened with the soul troll.

Brandon Marshall Havener 49:05

Yeah, that’s a perfect follow up for laughter So soul troll is really being able to I notice no one’s having fun on the internet like, I mean, some people are having fun but like a lot of people aren’t having fun on the internet. We’re having

Brandon Handley 49:17

fun with them. They’re getting fucking cup of it. Yeah.

Brandon Marshall Havener 49:20

Like he’s hypersensitive times and all that stuff. So I really want to bring that back where people can tell the truth, make people laugh, have a good time and speak the message that they really wanted to in the first place. So, you know, I think down more than ever, is it’s important to speak the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable. So doing that in a fun way. And somebody actually messaged me about soul troll the other day and she was asking me, like, about a situation where a woman was upset about something she posted that might have been offensive and she was walking on eggshells. So like something else that I’m bringing with soul troll is going deep. into when are you actually responsible for offending someone and hurting somebody? And when is it somebody projecting on to you? So it’s like, being able to balance being fully expressed without feeling like you’re harming or being an asshole in the process.

Brandon Handley 50:17

That’s fair. I mean, look, I mean, I think I think a lot I think that’s a huge benefit, right? So we don’t want to run around and be a bunch of, you know, bag of dicks, right? That’s, that’s not not most people. That’s not their intent. Right. Want to go out there? Give some value and have some fun, right without hurting someone. Right, you know, you know, too bad anyways, right? Yeah. Don’t want to rough them up too bad. But have some fun. It sounds to me like you’re building some resilience is Isn’t that right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 50:46

Oh, yeah, absolutely. You know, it’s like the more and more that you put yourself out there then you realize it’s all fun like for me. I know like canceling people is the thing and stuff but like for me if someone a group of people got mad at me, I have fun. Little bit. I actually wanted in some way but that since I desired so much, I think I’d pushed that away. I don’t think people want to cancel me anymore. So I don’t

Brandon Handley 51:11

know man. So really I had a lot of fun here guys. I think there’s a anybody’s listening to this. I think there’s a lot of value in Brandon and what you’ve brought here today. And thanks for sharing. I you know what I did want to touch on this last piece right was it’s like, I don’t think we’ve touched on it in the podcast, which is like coming from a place of spirituality, and how scary that was for you and what, how did it open up for you after you started leading with spirituality?

Brandon Marshall Havener 51:38

I think it was scary for me in many ways because, you know, wondering if a family was going to think I was crazy or friends and peers. So that was it was something that I had to lean into and and deal with the judgment or I think one big thing is having a stable job, like so is mixed with entrepreneurship. And I remember my dad was kind of pushed trying to push me into being a like an electrician or something which is fairly out of the rubble what I would do good. So I think a big thing that I had to do was stand up to that even saying, like, No, I just want to do this coaching thing and maybe have them feel like I’m a weirdo or I’m out of my mind for a minute by like detaching myself from my parents expectations or my family expectations and go in my own way, even when people don’t believe in it.

Brandon Handley 52:29

Yeah, that’s, that must have been tough, too. Right? attaching from that feeling. So I think that’s super important for people to hear and understand. It’s like, you know, kind of go your own way right. Letting Go. And you said it earlier to was kind of be open to kind of everything but attached like nothing type of thing.

Brandon Marshall Havener 52:46

Yeah. Right. A big thing was having a job too. There was like shame and not having a job. When it was going full time into business. It was really helpful having a mastermind that like everyone was like, Hey, you know, actually yeah. You know, like, cuz like all my life people would be like wager quitting your job. Why? So that was really helpful as well.

Brandon Handley 53:07

That’s great. So where should people go to find you?

Brandon Marshall Havener 53:13

You can find me I’ll say two things. Sorry I offended you podcasts. You can find it on iTunes, Spotify, Google, whatever else it’s on. It’s on like 50 like 50,000 platforms but uh or you could also go to spiritual smart ass, read calm and find my social media links and current programs and stuff like that.

Brandon Marshall Havener 53:35

Who’s your ideal client?

Brandon Marshall Havener 53:37

My ideal client is the artist that is the artist, the rebel. You know, the people that want to break the rules and the people who want to express a unique sense of art and maybe they didn’t feel like the rules made sense in business for them, but they want to put they want to apply that to business. They don’t want it to be a hobby. They want to be respected as a business owner. While also respecting their own creativity.

Brandon Marshall Havener 54:04

Awesome, man. Thanks for joining me

Brandon Marshall Havener 54:05

today. Absolutely. Thank you for having me.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Come on in and check out this interview with the Clicks and Mortar Queen Donnalynn Riley.

Donna tells an amazing story of how she went from being the CEO of a retail chain to becoming a Spiritual Coach who is helping entrepreneurs bring ALL of who they are to their businesses.

Connect with Donnalynn here at her site:

https://www.donnalynnriley.com/

Also, Donnalynn has a 5 Day Masterclass you can sign up for in order: Get Out Of Your Head,
Embrace Your Imperfections &
Get On Track With Your Business!

https://www.donnalynnriley.com/5dc-reg

  • user avatarbrandon handley00:02All right, 54321 Hey there, spiritual dope. I’m on today with Donna Lynn Riley, who is a licensed spiritual health coach who helps people develop evolve and grow.
  • 00:17The answers they find that their journey, bring them to a new level clarity and emotional adjustment to help them develop their expertise in business systems management and marketing.
  • 00:25And addition to her 12 years as a licensed coach her background is the CEO of a multimillion dollar corporation.
  • 00:31informs her ability to help her clients navigate the inner workings of business systems Operations Management and Marketing so they can successfully put it all together themselves.
  • 00:42I’m going to cut it down because that, that’s great. And I’m so excited because, as we’re going back and forth a little bit here earlier. This is exactly what this podcast is about. So thank you for joining me today.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley00:53Oh, it’s my pleasure. It’s great what you’re doing. It’s great that you’re talking about this. It’s really good.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:58Thank you. Thank you. So you mentioned that you’d call it a couple of podcasts. So what I always like to say is you know you’re here today. We’re using this podcast as a vehicle to send somebody out there a message, what is it that they need to hear this coming through you today.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley01:17Well, I always think people need to know that life can be a lot easier than we’re making it. I think that that’s a place where
  • 01:29Almost invariably people don’t believe that. Right. They just go like, nah, couldn’t be that I got to work harder. I gotta do more. I gotta you know think more
  • 01:43I have to put out more effort. It’s got a cost more. There’s got to be a big, you know, emotional or financial cost to the things that I want in life and really
  • 01:54Life can be so much easier than we make it. And I think that that’s the benefit of of this approach of a spiritual practice that supports.
  • 02:06Business life and certainly family life, when I know lots of coaches who do that as well. And, you know, really kind of make it better, just make your life better.
  • user avatarbrandon handley02:16Yeah, no, absolutely. So the idea is that life doesn’t have to be so hard.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley02:21Really doesn’t
  • user avatarbrandon handley02:23And and also throw out there. I think in the first person that I know that’s worked on Broadway. Right. And this is this is a story that you tell
  • 02:30In one of your one of your videos right and helping once you tell people use that story real quick here right now. I love that story about just what you said there.
  • 02:41Do you remember so so I’ll take it away. So you were around 19 your brothers like 10 years old or new
  • 02:47Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
  • 02:50Yeah yeah
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley02:50Okay, okay. I gotcha. Sorry about that.
  • 02:54I was like I was there a long time. I don’t know.
  • user avatarbrandon handley02:58Just getting into it right and
  • 02:59How easy how easy sometimes
  • 03:01For you.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley03:01Yeah. So what I love about that is that, um, so. Okay, so let me let me kind of lay it out here so I’m like 19 years old I
  • 03:11You know, I’m just out the gate. Right. But I’m 10 foot tall and bulletproof because so was everybody when you’re 19
  • user avatarbrandon handley03:18Right. Yeah, absolutely.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley03:19And so when you’re not very dinged up
  • 03:22You know, you just think like everything’s okay and it’s going to work out for me and I kind of lived my life like that really clearly I wanted, and I got things I wanted them and they lined up.
  • 03:35So, um, I found myself on on Broadway, which I totally expected right because I wanted it. So, and I didn’t know any better, and
  • 03:46And my brother who’s 10 years older than I am. He, he knew better. And he is a he is still actually a scenic artist. And so I was a sound designer. He was a scenic artist and
  • 04:01He was working down the block. So I was working on Angels in America, and he was working on City of Angels, which I love that. But there were all these angel references. That’s kind of
  • user avatarbrandon handley04:14Sure, yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley04:15And. And he said, Oh, let’s, um, he was like down the block. And I hadn’t seen him in months. It wasn’t like, you know, we were spending Sunday night dinners together or something.
  • 04:24And he said, Let’s go for lunch. And I was like, yeah, this is great. Yeah, owning the town, you know, in my, in my own head, right.
  • 04:32Sure. And he said, you, you. He’s walking me to the to the place to get something to eat and
  • 04:40He said, You just don’t have any idea what it costs to get here. You don’t have any idea what these people around you have had to do to get where they want to go and in typical sort of 19 year old fashion. I thought, nope.
  • user avatarbrandon handley04:59Right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley04:59I don’t care.
  • 05:00Sure, you know, really, for me, I realized that it is a story that’s centered around entitlement. Right, so it’s not very popular this moment, but
  • 05:10Being able to see yourself.
  • 05:13In the position that you want to be to be able to know that these are things that can happen for you as well as somebody else because
  • 05:24You put the work in and you are talented and you did you know you met the right people and you were in the right place and you took the all the steps to get there.
  • user avatarbrandon handley05:32Right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley05:33There by choice. You don’t get to be on Broadway. If you suck.
  • 05:37You do not need. All right.
  • 05:39All right, but they send you home.
  • user avatarbrandon handley05:42Well, you know, I think.
  • 05:43I think that um I love how you’re hitting on entitlement in this insane and in this way because why should it not
  • 05:53Backup people like people bash millennials for kind of having like that kind of entitlement thing. Right. Well, what I admire about that, you know, I think that they would say you got Moxie kid right like kinda back in, but
  • 06:07You know what you want and you’re not settling for something that you don’t. So is that entitlement, or is that knowing your worth.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley06:17Right. It’s really tricky. It’s really tricky and it is a lot about alignment and I’ve been fortunate to hear you talk about alignment on the podcast previously and
  • 06:28It’s a really crucial step in that process. So,
  • 06:34Of course, if we want to get kind of
  • 06:37Cultural about it, then we can we can sort of back it up a little and say, Well, some people have a lot of things that support the belief already in their lives when they’re born, and when they’re, you know, one and two and three and so it, it becomes
  • 06:55There becomes a divide, but it’s a divide in belief.
  • user avatarbrandon handley07:00100%
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley07:00You know, so it’s a it is a really tricky thing. And the important thing for me in the work that I do with people.
  • 07:09Is to whether you’ve ever experienced that belief or not before is to help you to find that belief because without it is very, very, very difficult to get where you want to go. I, I know people who have done it. It’s like they kind of stumbled into their success and that’s okay.
  • user avatarbrandon handley07:25That’s true, but it’s not very reliable.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley07:29And so, you know, doing the inner work to create a system of belief for yourself so that
  • 07:36It doesn’t sound crazy that you’re going to have a successful business or that you’re going to get a client that you want to or that you’re going to get employees that work out well for you and things like that. I’m doing that inner work makes
  • 07:51All the outer stuff kind of
  • 07:52Line up real quick, like the story I just told where I went from two years or three years I spent in sound design, we’re learning from the best in the business. I was already learning from the people who were there, right.
  • 08:06And and and and so I was able to do that very quickly, where a lot of my classmates in college got there 1015 years later, and they worked a lot harder for something because they didn’t believe
  • 08:23They didn’t know
  • 08:23They thought, oh, I have to go out and do something else first
  • user avatarbrandon handley08:27Right. We listen, even me today, right now with this podcast. I love it so much. I want to put this, I want to put this
  • 08:36Nice polish on, I want to make it feel so good. I want it to be inviting you know
  • 08:40That, you know, and this isn’t wrong to hire somebody in marketing, but I like I really want these pieces I wanted to look so I want it to be so accepted because it’s so
  • 08:48meaningful to me right so I’m putting these blocks in
  • 08:53For myself, right. I’m just putting these. Oh, I gotta do this like nothing can happen until this happens and all these other things and and literally that is in my own mind, nobody else’s. I mean, nobody nobody else cares. That’s just me. Right.
  • 09:07Right. So when you’re out there.
  • 09:11And your clientele and and you’re working I do they seek you out for one or the other, do you introduce like you know
  • 09:20To the business pressure, like, well, if you just loop in some spirituality, then this might be better for you, like, tell me a little bit how this process of working with you, looks
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley09:30Yeah, so I kind of stand between that space right I stand between entrepreneurs and small business people who are
  • 09:40That’s what they do. That’s what they’ve learned. They have a strong background or they have a strong desire but they don’t necessarily have any spiritual practice at all.
  • 09:49And I sort of stand between that and the people who are very spiritually open but can’t figure out how to turn the computer on right
  • 09:59And rent like can’t figure out the details of, like, how do I charge people. And why would they pay me and
  • 10:06These kinds of like nuanced things that, of course, they have a lot of talent and they have a lot of
  • 10:13Value in the world, but so I do kind of stand in between those two spaces, I would say that for the most part, most of the people that I work with are
  • 10:26Are on the business side but are open.
  • user avatarbrandon handley10:30Okay.
  • 10:31Because okay you can
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley10:32Sort of insert and this is not you know there are a lot of really involved spiritual practices.
  • 10:39And they have value that is beyond what I’m about to express right so this is not to disparage any spiritual practices. I think they all have a lot of value and
  • 10:51But you can in a very short period of time with with not a ton of work right. You don’t have to go and study with the monks for 18 years right with with putting a practice into your life. You can attain a lot of result and a lot of ease in your life.
  • 11:12A lot less frustration, a lot of movement forward right so you can start to assess your situation better and access yourself in moments that are stressful better and all of these things lead to better businesses.
  • 11:30But aren’t always they’re not really taught too often.
  • user avatarbrandon handley11:35I mean, if you have the capability to kind of calm yourself down in the moment, or just realize what you’re about to say or
  • 11:43If you’re feeling tense right so what I’m hearing you say is like you’re giving them some of these tools to to really kind of ease into themselves and what they’re about.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley11:51Yeah, there’s bigger work that we do in order to make lasting change. And that really happens inside one on one trainings that I do or or inside group work that I do with people, but
  • 12:08There are so many little what we would call hacks right there, little, like, oh, if I do this, I feel a little better.
  • 12:16Right. And those are emergency hacks, you know, and they’re really useful. They’re a great way to get started. I think because
  • 12:26Getting a little relief reminds you that you’re probably going to get more relief. If you keep going in that direction. And I think that’s a great place to start, particularly for people who are
  • 12:41Who don’t have a strong spiritual background but know that like there’s something going on in my mind set or those kinds of words are being used a lot recently. Right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley12:51Right I yeah for sure. For sure. Right. Well, I mean, it’s funny because, you know, I think I started off in the mindset space right but now in this
  • 13:01Next level space right where you do this practice, like you said, For doesn’t have to be 18 years but you do it repeatedly and you start with like the mindset. You start with the small pieces and
  • 13:13You keep just kind of growing into these other spaces and these other practices that are available to and sooner or later you like I guess they were all right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley13:26I love that. Right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley13:30Right.
  • 13:31Right. So, I mean, I guess you know there’s something in those things and what they’re saying and what they’re doing.
  • 13:37But, you know, so what what led you into this pace yourself.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley13:43Well,
  • 13:45You know, that’s a good question. I, when I look back at my life. I see all these moments like the one that I just described when I’m like very young.
  • 13:54That fit into this kind of way of thinking and this way of being. But I was really pretty unaware of myself and my spirituality until actually my husband got a life threatening disease.
  • 14:15And or problem he got a tumor in his brain cavity.
  • 14:20And he when he was very young. He spent a lot of time in hospitals. And so we went to the first doctor and it was a big emergency and he said, I’m getting a second opinion. And then we went to the next doctor who you know we we finagle their way into the good doctors and all of that and
  • 14:43We went and he described it. And he said, Oh yeah, you have a little time because I’m very good at this. But, you know, you got to get in here in the next month or something. So it was no longer like a huge emergency we have little time.
  • 14:56Sure, and
  • 14:59We were driving home. It was in New York City. We live in Massachusetts. It was a long drive home. We were driving home and my husband said to me.
  • 15:06Yeah, no, I’m not. I’m not doing that I’m not doing that. I don’t know what we’re going to do, but I think you should find me another solution because I don’t, I’m not going to do that.
  • 15:17And that being that you just that just have him for you have been for me. I was like, oh,
  • 15:23Wow, okay. That should be my job.
  • 15:25Okay.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley15:29No question.
  • 15:31In fairness, I’m sure he was very overwhelmed in that moment.
  • user avatarbrandon handley15:35Right out
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley15:36Here and and so that was the beginning. That was the kickoff for me to really
  • 15:45Take a look at what is possible. So, and be completely outside the box. Yeah. So once I sort of had to be completely outside the box. Then the possibilities became very, very different.
  • 16:00So it kicked off a series of involvements with people who could help his health and who could do it in very untraditional ways
  • 16:11And also, who required of both of us that we change drastically that we, the concept that we had gotten ourselves into this mess, and that we were going to get ourselves out of this mess was not one that I heard in the doctor’s office.
  • 16:31Was and it was really clear and so
  • 16:34And within
  • 16:37A few months, we were both licensed spiritual health coaches, we probably took, I don’t know, six months, nine months, something like that for that process and we said, Okay, this is this, we’re leaning in because we are not going where that other train was going
  • 16:59Okay, so. So that’s really the beginning of when I became a much, much more aware of myself of my thoughts of my
  • 17:09Relationship to the world of my discomfort that I had become just completely accepting of right I had just said, Oh, well that’s the way life is, you know and and really be in that awareness, I found new answers.
  • user avatarbrandon handley17:28So, um, you know what, I guess the one thing is right when you’re we’re 19 and your earlier years before you
  • 17:37had developed an awareness, you would be, what would we call you know
  • 17:43Was it
  • 17:45Unconscious competence, right, like you and I were you, you were already aligning yourself and you weren’t aware that you were doing it. And then once you kind of develop this newfound awareness.
  • 17:56You were able to do this with intention and purpose.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley18:00That’s exactly right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley18:02Now, so, and also throw out like when you know so I was raised by a hippie mom grew up you know out San Francisco and she was always kicking the word awareness around right when I was growing up, I was like, I’m aware. You see me run into
  • 18:15I’ve ever run into a thing.
  • 18:18Right, I use it everything outside of me right everything outside of me. I was I was completely aware of. I didn’t miss a beat. Yeah didn’t miss a beat. But the awareness that I think that you’re talking about today is the awareness inside. Is that fair
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley18:32That’s exactly right.
  • 18:33That is exactly right and very hard to articulate. You did that quite well that
  • 18:39People, most of the time, feel like they are aware when they start working with me, they’re like, Yeah, yeah, I got that part, I need the accurate assessment. Come on, let’s get to the good stuff here.
  • 18:49And and that awareness that inner awareness and that ability to kind of be with yourself for periods of time in order to deepen that awareness is very important to the next steps. And so you’re absolutely right that people are like, I’m aware. Let’s fix my landing page.
  • user avatarbrandon handley19:16It’s all
  • 19:17It’s all marketing has nothing to do with what’s happening.
  • 19:19Right, right.
  • 19:21Nothing internal happening fixed that.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley19:23I just had that targeting right we would
  • 19:25All set. So, what what is what is like when when somebody first
  • user avatarbrandon handley19:29Starts off what’s uh what’s like one tool that you like to start them off with to
  • 19:35Begin to develop that inner awareness.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley19:39One of my favorite
  • 19:42Sort of
  • 19:47Let me go back a second here in my thinking. One of my tools that is the easiest for me to sort of give in this kind of a space.
  • 19:59Is actually
  • 20:00A little bit of mirror work. Now some people will know mirror work from different varieties of, you know, mindset work and spiritual work.
  • 20:10The mirror work that that I find is the fastest path to to becoming present
  • 20:22Which is really that first goal is just start being in your body.
  • 20:29Is a piece where you literally just sit with the mirror and look in the mirror in your eyes and say I am here.
  • 20:42Over and over and over. You’re sort of calling to yourself. Right. So there’s a lot of work that we do after that that involves breath and
  • 20:53Other types of awareness that we can
  • 20:55We can bring in
  • 20:57But
  • 20:59But that’s really the the space that I find people kind of are able to bring themselves into the room a little bit and say, oh, OK. I am actually here. Let me give this a shot. I’ll be president now.
  • user avatarbrandon handley21:12Well, I mean, cuz it’s, there’s still the physical aspect of it right, they’re still doing a physical activity, but then they’re also acknowledging that it’s them right right there in front of them and pulling themselves kind of gather right there.
  • 21:27Right, so I love that. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley21:29And it’s deliberate. It’s deliberate. So even though a lot of times when people start that process, they don’t know. It’s deliberate
  • 21:37They, they go like, well, I said the words and then I felt different. I don’t know what happened. Right. But in fact it there. There is a deliberateness to it. That is really important that you are impacting you
  • 21:53In that moment.
  • user avatarbrandon handley21:57Well, that, you know, being deliberate again, you know, intentional, knowing that you’re making this choice. I know that I kind of
  • 22:04laughed a little bit about it earlier, but you know, you get to wherever you are today. And I think this is what the spiritual coaches were probably telling you before you guys set the course that
  • 22:13You guys made the decisions to be in that situation right as as a collective even and you you guys when you first heard that you were just like what that’s done, nobody’s ever said that, you know, kind of that way right to us before
  • 22:29So, I mean, I’m assuming your husband still alive.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley22:32Oh, yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley22:35Like I hope the story has a good idea.
  • 22:37Because, you know, so
  • 22:39What happens right i mean you go in and he jumped into all this stuff, how, you know, how does it clear up on it never gets checked out again and somehow he still is what happened.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley22:48No, no. So what happens on that story is that we do the work we do the inner work and we do the emergency inner work and it is kind of emergency at that
  • 23:02Maybe for a year or so as you still feel like what’s happening.
  • 23:07And we he gets checked out again. And it’s shrinking.
  • 23:12Okay, and we have do have, I will say a spectacular doctor who’s actually a doctor.
  • user avatarbrandon handley23:20Sure, sure. And
  • 23:22It’s always handy to have one on standby.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley23:25WELL KNOW WHO DOES THIS WORK. Oh.
  • user avatarbrandon handley23:27Okay, that sounds even better yet,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley23:29He’s a trained Western doctor but functions in an Eastern paradigm
  • user avatarbrandon handley23:35Love it.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley23:36And so he his toolkit is very, very large. And he honestly I’ve seen. I’ve never seen a problem he hasn’t been able to impact positively and I have seen him deal with a lot of stuff now.
  • 23:53So, so we had the guidance we had long distance guidance, because he’s not right here in our backyard and
  • 24:01We had long distance guidance and we did the work. And that I think is the, the key to that is to sort of have somebody who’s ahead of you who can say, yeah, no, no, no. You’re going in a direction. You’ll be all right.
  • 24:14Sure, sure. And so eventually that tumor went away.
  • user avatarbrandon handley24:17That’s amazing. I love it. And so
  • 24:20You would attribute that almost all to the air work was there like a dietary change.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley24:26There were other changes. Yeah, absolutely. There were dietary changes, and we think there was
  • 24:35Well, in his particular case, it had a great deal to do with a inability to deal properly with pesticides and with wheat.
  • user avatarbrandon handley24:46In the
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley24:46On the dietary front. So there was that and
  • 24:54I think there was juicing and there was a lot of things.
  • user avatarbrandon handley24:57Which are look at
  • 24:59Things. Right.
  • 25:00Body. Sure, absolutely. Absolutely. So, and I think that’s, that’s interesting. The two right you know so change a die with this practice. I’m the things that are inside of you are the things that are outside of you know that this
  • 25:15Miracle doesn’t kind of happen on its own. You gotta, you gotta put it together and you got to maintain it and you know the things that do happen to it. Your body’s a miracle. Right. It’s amazing.
  • 25:28And it’s something like that’s happening in this story right you have the ability to change that without getting i don’t know i’m guessing he was getting a laser to the back of the head or something right was
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley25:39Wasn’t. No, no, they wanted to do full
  • 25:41On surgery.
  • 25:43can address and take goop out
  • 25:47And put goop in from other part.
  • user avatarbrandon handley25:52Was
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley25:53Unbelievably scary.
  • user avatarbrandon handley25:55Sure, sure. So, but, I mean, the what’s amazing too and your story is that a lot of people would have just gone ahead and gone that route. Right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley26:03And they would have tried to talk to your spouse into it. It’s their spouse said no. And that I think is something that is I, I have been very fortunate to be able to have that reciprocal relationship with my husband, where if one of us says, No, no, this is how I really feel about the thing
  • 26:20Yeah, even if the other one thinks like, ah, you’re just scarred, we should get you over that.
  • 26:26But there is enough space. And this is an important concept in in business in the way we live our lives in general. Right.
  • 26:35Is that there is enough space for us to be scarred and still have full and wonderful lives. It’s kind of I think of it a lot about
  • 26:45How you know how certain trees grow and they get these scars in them. And then we cut them up and we make them into coffee tables and we call them beautiful world would
  • 26:54Say. Isn’t that spectacular right
  • 26:57Well, that’s what we’re making yeah in ourselves, we have experienced life and things haven’t gone right and we have changed the way that we deal with things F, day after day after day and tried new approaches and had new experiences.
  • 27:14And all of those things are brought into this present moment. And if you allow them then finding a new answer that. That doesn’t mean you have to like check out your whole personality becomes somebody else right
  • user avatarbrandon handley27:32Right, right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley27:32No, no, it’s okay. You can go spend time in the hospital.
  • 27:36Right show. You don’t have to be someone else. You can be you and you can be successful.
  • user avatarbrandon handley27:41Right. Well, yeah. And in regards to write the
  • 27:46Merging all this together. Right.
  • 27:48But I’ll say it. I love Maplewood like the birds. I’m April, right, that’s kind of one of the one of the times, you’re talking about right and it does become so beautiful. Right. I’m like, I’m over you’re sitting right now we’re turning ourselves into beautiful maple tables but
  • 28:02I love, I love the story that you’re telling about that. I think that that’s great.
  • 28:09So let’s just I want is, what if some of that wasn’t working at any point would didn’t feel like, you know, because I don’t want to get the impression that
  • 28:19You shouldn’t keep a doctor nearby. Right. I mean, because you guys kept the doctor nearby that right live as he was a Western medicine doctor that yes also specialize in this space.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley28:29I think that the the message that should not be taken from my experience is, go do something extreme like I did right and that the message that should be taken, I hope people take from my experience is be true to yourself and find your own answers.
  • 28:54Because they are there, but they’re only there if you calm down long enough to allow them to sort of become revealed. They weren’t there in the doctor’s office right only the first step, which was no I know what I don’t want
  • user avatarbrandon handley29:10To
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley29:11But there wasn’t the step of, like, I know what I do want. Right. Yeah.
  • 29:16Yeah. And in fact, I think that something very important happened there because it was life threatening. Right, it’s not
  • 29:23It’s not the same as in business where things can go right or wrong and we can find our own alignment. Right. But in this scenario. I think one of the most
  • 29:35impactful things that happened was that my husband had someone to turn to and say, You figure it out because he then could go about the business of lining up with becoming well
  • 29:51He didn’t know how, but he had faith.
  • 29:53Yeah, leaf. He said, This person loves me and they’re relatively smart. They’ll figure it out.
  • user avatarbrandon handley30:02Well, I think you bring the other one up to which I always love you don’t have to know how you don’t have to know how you just have to know that that’s what you want. That’s right. Right. And us where they can just
  • 30:16Move forward in that direction. You know, as if it’s not Nestle like I i get i get a little caught up in between, like Law of Attraction with like, you know,
  • 30:28Spirituality space, right. I don’t think that they’re one the same. I think they’re very close, but I don’t I don’t I don’t like to make a sandwich out of, I guess.
  • 30:37Um,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley30:38But so many ways to look at life you know
  • 30:41It would be a shame to sort of collapse it into only one way
  • 30:46Hundred percent I think that’s one of the reasons that the concept of spirituality so appealing to me is that it’s big.
  • user avatarbrandon handley30:53Right, it’s yours.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley30:54I can be a part of this energy and I can be a part of that energy and I don’t have to really understand it intellectually. I just have to decide that I’m willing to be a part of that.
  • user avatarbrandon handley31:05Right. No, I see ideas. Do you even know how you’re here. Right. I mean, we don’t even understand how we’re here to begin with, I mean. So where does that leave us so
  • 31:19Let’s talk a little bit more about the outside of the story. Thanks for sharing that. That was
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley31:22My pleasure. Thanks for bringing it up. I, I had
  • 31:26Was I was gonna tell it.
  • user avatarbrandon handley31:27Yes. I mean you know that, but that’s that’s kind of how you got into this space. And then, you know, I’m guessing that you kind of incorporated. Now some of this spiritual practice modality. And you were seeing the benefits that it was having in the business space.
  • 31:41So at
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley31:42That time
  • 31:43I was actually the CEO of a corporation.
  • 31:46Okay, so
  • 31:49This was what my life was like, like my every day was going to work as the CEO of a corporation.
  • 31:56Right, so, you know, to, to become to to shift perspective in this massive way and then go back to work the next day and be like,
  • 32:08Oh yeah, I’m gonna do it, just the way I used to do it.
  • 32:11Let them work out.
  • 32:13Right, so there had to be for me a re assessing a real understanding of the business world so that and the end the specifics of my business involvement with people so that I could find peace with the
  • 32:36The
  • 32:38Pathway that we were on
  • user avatarbrandon handley32:40Okay.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley32:40So I had many years to do that. I didn’t leave that world until
  • 32:452014 and I that the story I told. And when I got my licensure was well
  • 32:55The story I told started in 2007
  • 32:58Okay, so it was putting a time in their
  • 33:02Right to Try concepts out to go to work and to feel differently about things and then see what happens. And now have to take action right away.
  • 33:12To decide that your solution to this relationship problem with an employee with the board of directors with it. Whoever whoever you’re dealing with with with the clients themselves.
  • 33:27That you are going to shift that but not by going in and saying something different or doing something different and being like, I am different. Now, now you behave differently, right, which is how people love to approach it.
  • 33:38Sure does not work doesn’t work, just
  • 33:42But to really be able to take the time to say okay I am willing to to try everything that I have learned out on myself and to teach it to my staff and to pass it along to people who come and ask for it.
  • 34:02There was a lot of opportunity right now. I’m seeing a lot of people in a day. And there’s a lot of opportunity and people will ask you the wildest things
  • 34:10Sure. And so
  • 34:14Yeah, so I had that I had that. And so that was a way for me to really shift the way that I saw business. And what I knew for a fact would work in business.
  • 34:27I had a lot of knowing what didn’t work. And some of what did work. I had attained a position and, you know, was filling that position. Well, and all of that. But I really was able to sort of AMP that all up by
  • 34:40By being able to try these things and not know
  • 34:45If they were going to work.
  • 34:47And do them anyway.
  • user avatarbrandon handley34:49What would be an example of that.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley34:55Well, there was at one point there was a time when the board of directors was not happy with me.
  • 35:04Man I know, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t even make sense.
  • 35:06No, it doesn’t. It kind of in this world.
  • 35:09And and was not happy with anyone in my
  • 35:15In my purview at all like not like there was no one. And so there was one particular board member who would come in and
  • 35:24Kind of create difficulty. Right. It was a time of change. And I was directing the, the company in a direction that was scary and different and new
  • 35:36And that was not really okay for that board and so that member would come in and and sort of undermine what was happening or stand in the way of what was happening.
  • 35:49And I don’t think that was the intention, but I think that it was really to look out for the company and to like really well founded. But really bad idea. And so this went on for
  • 36:05Several weeks several weeks and different members of my staff kept coming to me and saying, what are we going to do this can’t go on and I would have a chat and, you know, it still went on and that was the way it was. And I had tried a lot of business solutions for this.
  • 36:23But one day I decided that I was going to just focus on the inner work and I spent all of my off time
  • 36:34Doing that inner work and it was a process it. A lot of times people like me to sort of distill it down into one thing that I did. And certainly, I could name some things that you can do in that scenario but
  • 36:48Really, the important thing was that I was no longer tied to the outcome based on yesterday.
  • 36:56So that we had been through it right. This has been going on for weeks, we had tried everything we know what didn’t work. We know. No, no. Right. But we didn’t really we didn’t because today is a new day.
  • 37:09And this is a new moment.
  • 37:11Right. And so once that happened once there was a disassociation with the past, then
  • 37:19The process of becoming holy present and allowing the other people to become wholly present other this person in particular.
  • 37:29Then the, the issues that are around, it can be dealt with and the attitude can shift. And there can no longer be. It doesn’t have to be an aggressive situation, which is what had developed
  • 37:41Right. But once that all dissipates. Then you can have the real conversations about the work that really should be being done in those in that scenario.
  • 37:52Right, I should be held accountable for that in my position and that person should be able to say what they have to say. But there was no space for
  • 38:00Any of that.
  • 38:02And to east and east and east and about two weeks later, one of the gentlemen that work for me came to me and said, What did you do
  • 38:13What did you do
  • 38:14Well you fixed it for you, but you didn’t fix it for me.
  • 38:19And I said, Well, I could teach you what it was like, why can’t you just fix it.
  • user avatarbrandon handley38:26That’s funny. That’s funny. So one of the things that you kind of, you start out there to with the is not having to take action right away, right, because we feel that
  • 38:36We need to take this action immediately to for some type of corrective measure like
  • 38:42Where the like where the savior of whatever is happening, they’re like, well, there’s no we got to fix this. Right. But you’re saying though, you just kind of step back. Yeah. But some of the things just play out on their own and right
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley38:55Yeah, that’s exactly right. That’s exactly right. There’s actually a three step process that I teach that
  • 39:02Is a called the triple a method of transformation and that three step process is really important. Some people get one step.
  • 39:12Some people get two steps, but rarely do we hear people talk about the third, the middle step right
  • 39:18Right. So the first step in that is awareness and we’ve talked a lot about that today, which is
  • 39:23Wonderful. And the third step in that is the action stage right the adaptation. What are you going to do, usually people kind of jump from one to the other and they go, they go like, yes, I’m aware there’s a problem. Now I have a solution.
  • 39:38And it’s the middle step that is the most important and that really isn’t an accurate assessment, you can’t make an accurate assessment, unless you’re in a receiving mode you’re in a
  • 39:58Listening period. A watching period a learning period right it’s you can’t assess something. If you think you know everything about it already.
  • 40:09So you have to do the exploration that is that middle stage that’s between Awareness. Awareness of yourself awareness of your situation and then
  • 40:21Learning so that you can be accurate in your assessment. And that’s, I think, really where most of the time it all falls apart is that the assessment is not accurate.
  • 40:33Hmm. And so that’s how you jump from the one step to the other step is that you go like now I got this move on.
  • 40:43But you don’t know yet. But there’s like a guy behind the curtain run and my thing. You know what I mean.
  • 40:48Sure.
  • 40:49So that’s
  • user avatarbrandon handley40:51That’s more than you know awareness of your thought process awareness of the, you know, conscious choices awareness of doing these things.
  • 41:00With purpose and intention, but also, you know, I like how you bring up this you know accurate assessment piece because it was just yesterday as matter of fact I sat down with a transformational coach and
  • 41:14It was what you’re saying here is you can assess, but kind of like a and I feel like this is what I had done right I assess the situation quickly.
  • 41:24And felt that was good enough. Right. And then he goes, Well, I think, actually, you need to go one more layer deeper. Yeah. And he took me one more layer deeper. And I was like, Oh my gosh, you know,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley41:35Totally different answer to. Right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley41:37Well, totally different answer. Totally different feeling totally different space in place and you know
  • 41:44Therefore, ergo my assessment initially was not accurate. Yeah, that’s right. Right.
  • 41:53And you know we’re here. We keep learning and this, this is even has to do with just, you know, if you’re working with a client, they feel like they know who they are. All right. And you’ve got it you what you’re doing is you’re helping them to slow down and
  • 42:07Truly learn who they really are. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley42:09That’s exactly right. That’s exactly right. And I think that was true for me. So I think that one of the things that makes it easier for me to
  • 42:18To talk to people is that I’ve stood someplace. Very, very similar to where they’re standing and so that feeling like I know especially having some early success.
  • 42:30Right, sure. No, I do. No.
  • 42:33No, I did it. I know how to do it. No, no, actually you don’t
  • 42:39Because you did it, but you didn’t know how you did it.
  • 42:41Yeah, you did it, but you can’t repeat it, and
  • 42:46Source, all of that.
  • user avatarbrandon handley42:48Sure, yeah.
  • 42:50But it’s looking those steps and and and i think that we’ve been fortunate, right, like a laughed at the beginning how there’s, you know,
  • 43:00There’s pathways for us to take you know that the plenty of people have done this before us. We’re not the first people to show up like I got this.
  • 43:08Follow me like there’s no whole whole society is built on this and
  • 43:13We’re lucky that we’ve got that available to us right that framework, the possibility to kind of
  • 43:18Go to even you right or you know your spiritual coaches to run them in the first time, like there’s a whole nother way.
  • 43:25And it fits into this and, oh, I can get the same results by but but by doing it this way instead of this other brash like I’m going to take the bull by the horns and crush everybody mentality. Right. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley43:40Yeah, I, I, actually, when I first kind of got that there was another way and that it was actually more effective I so I had been into herbs, my whole life where I felt like I i liked spices in my food, and I
  • 43:54I knew some of the properties of things. And I would you know give myself cold medicine by eating the garlic or whatever it was. Right, sure, and and
  • 44:03I got that there was, I knew about herbs and spices that there were in different parts of the world, they would do the same things, but be totally different plans.
  • 44:13And I was like,
  • 44:14Oh, I don’t really get why that’s true, that you can take turmeric from India and you can take, you know, yarrow from North America and you’re going to get a similar thing and happening for you.
  • 44:29And I, I knew that it was possible, but I couldn’t make any sense of it until we got to this concept, this concept of being present and being aware
  • 44:44And showing up in a new way and then taking action. Then I got, oh, there are just so many ways, right. I could have said 10 different things in that moment.
  • 44:57And gotten a really similar response to that, or maybe my relationship problem, like I’ve, I’ve worked with people a lot with
  • 45:07business relationships where they’re particularly with employees, where they’re not getting the results they want with the employees and they feel like it’s the employees problem.
  • 45:18And that works. The first or second or third employee, but it does not work after that.
  • 45:23To face a few things.
  • 45:26And you can try all the techniques you want, right, there’s a lot of management techniques and those i’m sure can be effective in under certain circumstances.
  • 45:37But really when you’re willing to do that work inside you and the technique, doesn’t matter anymore because
  • 45:45The result can happen regardless of the technique that you’re using, sort of like that plant it’s planted in a, you know, different sides of the earth, but it’s helping your body because the world is meant to support us for sure that’s what that’s what is here for
  • user avatarbrandon handley46:01At least from our perspective. Hundred percent hundred percent
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley46:05Plant feels like it’s there for them.
  • user avatarbrandon handley46:08But what I just I just saw like you know I think somebody talk. I think I was listening to Wayne Dyer right and he’s talking about like if you lift the seeds or whatever and you plant them that they take in that your DNA, and they grow to to you.
  • 46:21Yeah, so
  • 46:22So I’ll always always something interesting.
  • 46:26Always something interesting. Geez, you said something there that I wanted to hit on but uh what you know.
  • 46:34So what are some. What are some that’s what’s gonna say, so you’re, you know, the techniques become
  • 46:42More like a again a vehicle for what’s inside of you, right, and that’s your focal point, you’re like, All right, you know,
  • 46:49It’s the techniques, not working. It’s because I look I take to jujitsu right and oftentimes the, the deal is, I’m using a technique, but I’m also trying to put all this force power behind like
  • 47:04Running grown in
  • 47:06But it’s when I relax and just simply apply the technique.
  • 47:11That it works. I’m like, why, what this doesn’t make any sense. Right. So again, it sounds like you know if you do the inner work and you figure out kind of what’s in you just you just kind of let that out, Masha, but you focus it gently on the technique, it works.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley47:23Yeah, we’re back where we were when we started right life can be a lot easier than we make it
  • user avatarbrandon handley47:30And and so you know what what are
  • 47:34What are some of the other things that you’re finding with your clients right. How are they, what’s their reception been to their new selves.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley47:44Reception to their new cells. Fantastic question.
  • 47:48Wow. I like I’m pretty good.
  • user avatarbrandon handley47:54Sure.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley47:55You know, it feels a lot better to be not frustrated and not irritated and have a new way to accept your imperfections and to say I can be whole and I can show up and I can shift my life in these ways where I get the result that I want and still be may
  • user avatarbrandon handley48:18Not have to
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley48:19Turn into somebody else. I mean, I think these are the kinds of things that a lot of times people really feel like, all right, I want to go there. So I’ll just be someone else for a while.
  • 48:33They
  • 48:34Got themselves off from themselves, right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley48:36So,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley48:37And this is how people end up to be older and more bitter.
  • 48:43And then eventually at some point they say I’m not doing that anymore. And sometimes that’s at retirement age sometimes that’s a lot earlier.
  • 48:52You’re really lucky if you don’t have a lot of patience for that kind of thing in your life.
  • user avatarbrandon handley48:57Well, you know, you know, recently, my wife, she she hit that point right she just said this is enough. This is too much and and she’s now you know we come from two different types of backgrounds. Right.
  • 49:08Where she came from, you know, the you work hard, you get a job you keep that job for as long as you can, it’s safe. It’s good. They watch out for you.
  • 49:16But at what cost, right, I think you’d mentioned that to like what costs like you’re the costs.
  • 49:22Is you your life, your, your whole, you know, they call it grind it out for a reason. You’re losing each day to the grind. So I don’t want to keep you too long, but this has been, I’ve had a lot of fun with this conversation.
  • 49:35A lot of fun with this conversation.
  • 49:37Where, where should and we did talk about you do have something coming up. I want to make sure people know that you’ve got this, you’ve got this challenge come out to us talk on that.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley49:45You. I do. I have a five day
  • 49:49Workshop, or I’m
  • 49:53Just loving the words just scramble away from you.
  • user avatarbrandon handley49:56Absolutely, it says all day every day.
  • 49:59To
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley49:59Day challenge coming up and it, it is called get out of your head. Embrace your imperfections and get on track with your business.
  • 50:10And so that’s what we’re going to do for five days, we’re going to go through the process and we’re going to really delve into that process. We talked a little bit more
  • 50:19Earlier about the AAA method of transformation and get to apply some of that and really see what kind of
  • 50:29changes we can make in such a short period of time for lots and lots of people to to quiet the noise to to find that space that we’ve been talking about and to still be wholly yourself to really embrace that you’re okay, as Your imperfections and then apply that process.
  • 50:51It’s a very interesting process, I think.
  • 50:53It will be really great to see how everybody does.
  • user avatarbrandon handley50:56That’s awesome. So what type of people should be attending this event.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:00Anyone who’s interested in business.
  • 51:05Who is open. Yeah.
  • 51:07Yeah, so this is this work is not easy. It’s not like, you know, kind of, you were talking about this with talking about your wife’s background and a lot of people come from a background where it’s kind of supposed to be hard. And when life is not fun. They say, what is it they say they say
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:27Oh my lemonade.
  • 51:31Life’s not supposed to be fair, I don’t know.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:33Yeah, all that
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:34All that stuff.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:35So what, like, I get that. And there are people who need that kind of structure in their life, and they’re not ready to let go of that that’s okay with me.
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:43Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:43Don’t come to mind.
  • 51:47But anyone everyone. I hope Pro has a business involvement writing particularly I work for the most part with entrepreneurs.
  • 51:57So you’re the driver of your business boat, it makes it much easier. And who wants to work on something and knows that the answer is somewhere in them might they’re willing to do some work for it. That is personal. That is development personal development work.
  • 52:20And and really you show up with willingness and I’d be happy to guide you all the way through the process that would be great.
  • user avatarbrandon handley52:30Awesome and listen.
  • 52:32You know, you’ve had you been a successful CEO, you started off successful businesses you sold businesses.
  • 52:41And, you know, for anybody, which website. Again, Donald in
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley52:46Donnellan Riley calm.
  • user avatarbrandon handley52:48Down. So head over to the site shine house or for videos yourself, you will be able to see
  • 52:53That she knows what she’s talking about. So I think that that’s really exciting. And, you know, we didn’t dig too deep into the business aspects of today. We just had a really great. I felt like conversation.
  • 53:03But you clearly know you know what it is that you’re doing. You’ve done the work you contains to do the work. And you know what you’re putting out. I think there’s no top notch really really quality stuff.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley53:13Thank you so much. It was really a pleasure to be here and to get to talk about this topic in such depth. So that’s really nice. It’s great that you’re talking about this in a in a really deep way this sort of spirituality and business and in that space.
  • user avatarbrandon handley53:28You know what, you got to be able to like you keep saying, and that’s what it means to bring all of who you are right, they’re not two separate things. If you keep your spiritual self over here and your material or reality over here, you’re missing out on the one, two punch you know
  • 53:44You really you’ve really got the opportunity to kind of blend you’re you’re working at 50% of capacity. Yeah, right. So he can
  • 53:51You know blend those two which which I know you can teach how to do what you get to bring to your workplace or wherever you decide to show up after you learn about who you are. It’s just, it’s that much more powerful. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley54:04It really is.
  • user avatarbrandon handley54:05Yeah. Hundred percent. Thanks again.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley00:59:18Thank you.

When you are going through an awakening, sometimes it can feel like everything is going off the rails!

That’s how it was with me, and I was lucky enough to come across an amazing spiritual life coach, Christian Wiese.

Ever since Christian helped me along the way, we have been in communication.

Take a listen to find out how you may be able to practically apply spiritual wisdom, even if you are in the midst of a very high-level financial group!

Connect with Christian on Facebook

Also, should you be interested in his books check them out here:

https://christianmwiese.com/

Brandon Handley 0:00

Two, one. Hey there spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here today. And as we continue to explore how we can apply spirituality in our everyday lives, businesses, and whatever it is we want to do. I have with me today, author and spiritual coach, my good friend, Christian M. Weiss, and he is a, he’s an author, spiritual coach. But he didn’t he wasn’t always in the space. In 2008, he was working in the professional finance field, with a PhD in finance and as a freshly minted dad. And working in this market. He’d been introduced to a wonderful world of magic, healing and love. And he finally left the financial industry and decided to work today as an author, educator, a spiritual life coach, and he’s on a mission to share the gospel of the capitalized way and to help other spiritual Travelers awaken to their path. Christian, thank you so much for joining us today.

Christian Wiese 1:05

Thank you for having me. Being here.

Brandon Handley 1:08

Yes, yeah, well, so first, you know, here’s people people may not have followed me since the beginning and that’s okay. So if you’re just tuning into any of my podcasts for the first time, Christian I first met years ago now, when I was doing a podcast called fatherhood for the rest of us and I had reached out to fathers who had experience and kind of a spiritual awakening and Christian is the only one who raised his hand. He has lived to tell the tale so before and thank you for that. And we’ve had I think, a great friendship since then we actually had to meet in person last year. That was a very What do they call that? You know, synchronous, synchronous synchronicity

Christian Wiese 1:52

secret? Thanks, Jerry. Yeah, for sure.

Brandon Handley 1:54

Yeah, yeah, we that was just so random how that happened. And to me that just showed the universe opening up, right?

Unknown Speaker 2:02

That’s right. Um,

Brandon Handley 2:04

what I like to start this off with Christian as a little bit of how you and I are conduits for creative energy, right? That’s right. And you and I are talking to share a message with somebody who’s listening to the podcast today. What What do you think that that person needs to hear today?

Christian Wiese 2:26

Well, I think the main message is life is fun. There’s so much creativity in life. And we spent so much time thinking about it and thinking what we want and what we should get, and we sometimes overlook what we have and what we’re getting every day and excitement and I think so again, just a little bit of background. I kind of have always been interested in spirituality. But I was in the middle of my career, the two boys had just been born. Suddenly there was that moment, which you also experienced, where suddenly you said, Wow, what’s happening here in this incredible app to tell other people about it. And then I literally spent seven years doing both very similar what you’re doing right now, in the day, kind of hanging out with some very smart people in the financial industry and kind of testing my spiritual theories. And then that night writing about it and writing books, and we’re talking today about the second book, which I think is is really written for people like you and your, your viewers, because it makes a case that spirituality is not some sort of philosophy that we practice on Sunday. Spirituality is something that we do everyday and also at work. And for seven years. I literally tested my theories and they work, we can really be incredibly creative, connected. We can have a lot of fun doing kind of spirituality and living.

Brandon Handley 4:05

Now 100% I love it. I enjoyed the book. And, you know, right when I read the review, I’d already started reading the book. But when I read the review on the back here of the endorsement by Carl Bozeman, and this book is intended to kind of pick up before you go to sleep and just have a quick read like small short stories, right? And, you know, here’s the book in my hand, thanks for shooting it over. Appreciate you sending. So the way of the Meister and it gives you some time to pause and reflect and also see how somebody such as yourself who had a PhD in it was it was at finance that she had a PhD in economics, economics. Oh my god, right. I mean, that’s the that’s the last place. Most people are going to be looking for a virtual coach. Right, or, or spiritual birthing at that, right? That’s

Christian Wiese 4:55

right. And that often happens and I think it’s really important to stress it. We always say, if you are spiritual, be on the right or be on the left, whatever your favorite direction is. But often in life, instead of being on the right, we’re actually on the left. And it’s extreme contrast between the two that then gets you that, that breaks through. And that’s, I think, by work in the conflicts at work in the context of family and all that. It’s sometimes an opportunity to opportunity to stop and say, Hey, what’s going on here? What can I learn from this conflict? And the way I would put economics, economics is a science of scarcity. scarcity, the main assumption is you don’t have but you want the only one right Right, right. Increase your utility and your income as your poor. Yes, the main message of spirituality is abundance. We live in an abundant world. We deserve to live in a world and that I think we need spiritual life coaches like you to remind us of that premise and we should work towards it

Brandon Handley 6:10

was like, it’s like you said, Christian when you when you stop to look at what you have versus what’s missing. That’s right, right is doo doo doo. I feel like there’s a space for an economic approach that says, hey, we actually have quite a bit Do you think I mean, I mean so look, let’s not laugh too hard at this because we had, you know the Science of Happiness to psychology. You know, so, which was laughed out at the beginning, right? I’m reminded of I’ve listened to this guy, Robin. Oh, gosh, his last name Sharma. Right. And one of his lines is they laughed at all the great ones at first, right. So is there do you feel like is that would could we apply economy you know economics to an abundant sides. Cuz like you said, we’ve been focused so much on the scarcity economy. Is there an abundance economy?

Christian Wiese 7:08

Absolutely. Economics just needs a rebranding, which is

Unknown Speaker 7:13

exactly right.

Christian Wiese 7:14

I mean, we should call it the science of abundance. And there’s a joke that I was told whether, whether it’s supposedly true at all, no. But somebody taught at Harvard, and gave the idea of to the utility function and the income line and that it keeps growing and expanding to the right. And that is kind of our mission in life. And there was one guy from the Middle East, supposedly a crown prince. And he said, I’m what happens to the picture, if you don’t have any income constraints. And of course, everybody laughed. You know, he was a prince, he had limitless resources, but it’s actually a very good point is in economics, that certain bliss point where you’re having more income is not the issue at all. It’s about having more meaning. And I do think, to a large extent, the spiritual journey is just about awakening to what you truly want. You know, we initially think it’s so much about wealth and status and reputation. And then we realized, no, no, it’s about love. It’s about meaning. It’s about the ability to create an Express. And when you go down that path, it’s very easy to be very fulfilled and happy, abundant life.

Brandon Handley 8:30

It is, is once you learn about it.

Christian Wiese 8:37

That’s right.

Brandon Handley 8:38

Right. So, you know, it’s really interesting. My wife just quit her job after being there for 23 years. And she’s terrified because she was taught to go get a job and work and stay there for for your entire life. And that was the idea. And since she married me that was her own fault. The You know what? learning this stuff that like, wow, we, you know, you always hear about you know, don’t put your don’t put your ladder up against the wrong wall. That’s right, right you know, we we worked for money, right and income versus working for or towards meaning or towards a beautiful life right? You know, we want we want the things we want the experiences we want I love this bliss point that you bring up. But it’s once you’ve learned that prod and nine then you have to learn how to apply it, which is what you know, I think I’ve done taking the concept and applied it in life and found it to be true. You know, I think of one of your stories in the book. And actually kind of I was actually telling the story last night at dinner about how you would come up with theories that seemed like they would be sure shots let’s talk a little bit about like, you know, working in the economy and you’re working for I’m guessing people that had a lot of money and they trusted you, with your, you know, with your doctorate in this field to explore and give sounds strategies, right. So tell us a little bit about, like, what that looked like and what some of the outcomes were.

Christian Wiese 10:17

Um, so when I started out I was actually very similar to your vise Korea. I was there for I think, 22 years. I’m originally from Germany, I arrived in 1990. I went to Brown University, got my PhD there. And then literally, just after five years, moved one hour north to Boston from Providence to Boston and started out there. And I started out as an economist, you know, I had to learn, you know what finance is really all about. But, you know, after a while, I got the hang of it, and you can realize that finance to a large extent, yes, it’s about knowing what will happen tomorrow. Extensive thoughts about psychology, human psychology, and I love that stuff. You know the the being in the pressure point and people say no, you have it all wrong. Now’s the time to be actually that this year was perfect. Everybody said run for the hills run for the hills. And the moment they did that was exactly the moment that the Gnostics started taking off, right? It’s all it’s all psychology and you have to get a feel for it. So what in the end brought the, the the spark when you kind of awoke to something different? I can’t tell. But what I can tell is that I had a very interesting psychological journey they had that place because part of the process of you know, doing this kind of spirituality for a few years is to realize that we kind of live in our head. You know, there are certain stories that we want to be nice to each other. We want to be loved. You’re going to get, and there’s a lot of heads, the art sometimes says something very different. And what I enjoyed in the pressure cooker environment is to kind of test and also learn. And I kind of went into two directions. And I think they’re very powerful. And I think you as a coach really can breakfast that there was one this spiritual dimension where I learned cooperation and trust is so powerful if you work with a group of people and you guys trust each other. magic happens, but also learned and there was a second aspect something about myself, I had not understood how competitive I really was. And you know, we spreadsheet people will tell us Oh, we are so nice and so relaxed. But when tell people to tell you, you’re full of it, you suddenly get you know, I’ll show you and that’s a very human reaction and I love isn’t playing with both balls on the one hand showing the magic of connection tivity and caring for each other as I put it, but on the other end, also realizing, you know what, you’re telling yourself stories, you’re as human as everybody else. And I think that’s really the the the potency of a coach to help people with that struggle because we shouldn’t live in lala land, we should live in the real world, where not everything is about love. And you know, and being so serene and uncaring.

Brandon Handley 13:29

Yeah, yeah. I mean, look, that’s it. That’s a you know, that’s, that’s great. And it’s an ideal it kind of world and I don’t think that it’s, I wouldn’t say that it’s impossible, but the likelihood of seeing it, and then would you really want to live it? That’s another question like, yeah, that’s, that’s another question. And I’m reminded of, you know, at least hearing this kind of first from Alan Watts, right. It’s kind of like stew you got to season it just enough. There’s got to be enough, you know, kind of flavor and Taste where it’s not so bland. So if we have all this, you know, love peace and serenity all the time, it’s gonna be real boring. I’m sorry, right? We’re not gonna, we’re not going to be able to experience we’re not going to even notice if we have an upper down, right? I mean, you know, I’m not saying hey, let’s invite some drama. But if you don’t have any drama, you will go to your head and you will create some it’s just human. So you know, I love that you said that because that that is the true premise two is spiritual dope, right. So this is the this program this podcast and courseware whatever gets created out of this is like, it’s not all it is a huge percentage of peace, love and light, but there’s also some, you know, we’ve got to go through some. We’ve got to go through some seasons of our lives to have a fully rounded experience. That’s right, right.

Christian Wiese 15:02

And something. So the way optimized, I think is perfect for this setup, because I think it speaks to the experience that many people go through. Should I be in this profession? Should I not? Am I really expressing myself creatively as I should? On the other hand, there are financial constraints. Can I really make it right now on my own? Or should I also have, you know, a secure income stream? Those are all issues we have to deal with. But the person

Brandon Handley 15:28

just has to pick that apart for right now. Right? Yeah. For everybody who’s who’s chased the secure income stream and the secure way of life. I think that COVID has been a true disrupter in continuing along that, that path, right. That’s right. And, and also, I kind of want to just loop back to when you were, you know, understanding, you know, yes, the cooperative and trust support, right, you know, your groups and creating that and finding that also understanding your competitiveness, but you also have illustrated how you you come up with some theories that will seem bulletproof. Write that on paper, and in theory should be working and they would flop and then you would say, all right, well, here’s, here’s something that I’m going to throw out there. I don’t think much of it. And that’s the one that takes off. Right? Play with me really this then right? So I’ll play let’s play. Let’s play like kind of spiritual devil devil’s advocate type. Okay. So with the one you had these great expectations, you were kind of attached to an expectation of the one that you thought would work right there was pressure on it to work in the way that you thought that it was supposed to work. And so there was there was like a focus on it. Versus the one that you came up with great. I would say almost ease and you let it go. And you said you know what, fine, let it go. Let’s Let’s the worst that could happen. Right. And that’s the one that you did with ease that it came in and flowed. Yes. Or to see it that way.

Christian Wiese 17:08

I think it’s a very important point. Actually, that was the direction I wanted to go in my original comment. The main message is, and it’s a very tough one, because we have been programmed for four decades in the education system to do exactly the opposite. But the main message of spirituality is, get out of your head. Look at what lie and look at the amazing abundance that life has to offer. And especially when it goes in a direction that you didn’t anticipate. That’s the time to be excited, because you can actually learn something. Right? And that was really my spiritual experience, experience and breakthrough to realize this is just a voice. It is not us. It’s just a voice. Sometimes it has something interesting to say sometimes not. But there’s an authority for you. On the voice in the head and that is all to spirituality.

Brandon Handley 18:03

Now fair enough. One second Chris, I’m gonna go ask my kids to go move. So the letting go right and getting out of your way. And the aspect of of us trying to apply direction, right? mentally, mentally direction versus Heart, heart feel it feeling it forward, right? That’s right, feeling it forward. Well, all right. How do you do that?

Christian Wiese 18:36

Well, that’s really exciting stuff happens it is we are not independent of our life. The life that we experience the people we bump into, I mean, I am always messenger it’s just so apparent. person one context me person to contact me five minutes later, person one and person two are in my life connected. So I see Just even though they have no idea what’s going on, I can literally see the strings. Right. So with those modern technologies, we actually can see almost how life operates. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 19:11

Yeah, yeah,

Christian Wiese 19:12

I think that’s a great thing too, that that gets you out of the head. And but again, I would say is always know on which level you work. Because I think you and I do. We do different things to work as a spiritual life coach, you help people with their career choices with their personal choices, right. The next level that I’m interested in this kind of what is that no self experience. There is no self, it’s just your part of life. You are there no thoughts, just the no self. I mean, that’s what the you know, well, the gurus talk about it’s an exciting, almost philosophy or experience, but it doesn’t help so much. The guy who has those has just two newborn children and has a little make a living. Right? That’s where you come in. Sure. Yeah, you know, it’s such a challenge to

Brandon Handley 20:09

fall into this space, I guess it’s kind of the best way to say it to to, to open once you’ve opened up to the spiritual self, right? Or the your spirituality, your spiritual being. How do you reconcile that? Right? How do you integrate that? And that’s, that’s a huge challenge.

Christian Wiese 20:28

It’s a challenge, but it’s also a huge opportunity because

Brandon Handley 20:31

so much for sure, listen to your your speaking a new language, you’re learning a whole new way of being. So you cannot. So it’s kind of like the Buddha and the and the, you know, the Rosebud, right, flower bud, you can’t squeeze that right. It’s expected to bloom so you got to you’ve got to nurture it, understand it and follow it. You know, I still remember when people were telling me you got to trust in the process before I had ever experienced the process. Right? So there’s trust in the process, which is kind of a faith in this, this possible way of being that you, you simply you can’t convey it in

Christian Wiese 21:17

words. That’s right. You cannot write but what we can convey is how much fun it is. That synchronicity is something that we discussed in our last talk, right? I think you are also an experiencer Can you pronounce it Suresh polities scientists, so it’s either the numbers or just the human connections. And the the first experience is so much fun, you understand it to gain it’s no longer the, you know, it’s it’s all about life or death. It’s literally again, you making a mistake, and you hear somebody laughing in the background. Ha ha ha you messed this one up.

Get ready not that serious,

Brandon Handley 22:02

right? Well, you know, I, I poke fun at that too because the word light is in enlightenment. That’s right, right. So how can we come at this from a sense of it’s heavy, hard, steady work. But it’s also meant to kind of lighten the load, right?

Christian Wiese 22:24

We are creators. I mean, it just stink up an entrepreneur or the guy who inventing or an Albert Einstein every day when they got up, they were all smiles. I can’t wait to see what I create today. But I think that that experience, I think

Brandon Handley 22:40

that that’s a great, you know, how can somebody applied themselves in that manner? Today right now, regardless of you know, I’m in a nine to five, right? How do I apply that principle of I am a creator of Wherever I am, that might not

Christian Wiese 22:56

be the thing that you actually do, which hopefully gets your meaning but There’s also the interaction with the people, you know, very much like I described as my messenger experience, you suddenly bump into that person and the person says something which the person never says, exactly that kind of word that resonates with you, because you read it yesterday in a book, and you suddenly start and this is really important. I don’t know how. Yeah, this is the process. And it’s a lot of fun. And everybody can experience even in a in a workplace that they consider boring. It’s literally the lightest streaming in and you can experience it anywhere. But on the other hand, I understand sometimes you are forced in a new direction. And I give myself as an example, I actually had plans to be at a job until today 2020 because I’d always wanted to start with a friend, a meditation center and she just wasn’t ready. So For me, that jump came two years ahead of time because there were changes at work and it just didn’t work for me anymore. So suddenly a new situation comes and for a couple of years, I was a little bit bored. I have to say, Yes, I was writing books, and I was working with people, but there was always a feeling. You know, I wish I had three more hours of actual creative work to do because only so much spirituality I can do. But guess what, that was a very, very spiritual experience where I really went to the next level, understanding better about my own drive above my own cross patience above my own limits. And that’s part of life. You have to if you’re really interested in spirituality, and that’s where the life coach starts differing from the spiritual coach. The Life Coach job is to make sure that that person is successful in the way that they want. Creating love, whatever it is that they want versus friendship quotes gets a little arrogant says, Whatever happens to you, you will learn a lot. For sure it’s you know, I don’t know, sometimes you have to build something and then afterwards you can have that arrogant perspective. Do you understand which direction I’m going?

Unknown Speaker 25:21

Now go ahead and give me a little more on that.

Christian Wiese 25:23

Okay, so I just saw the psychologist, the young cago stuff young, I think put it very well. He says the first half of our life journey, we develop the self.

The second half, you actually

Brandon Handley 25:40

had I had that I actually had that one.

Christian Wiese 25:42

I had that as a quote. And in the second half of the life journey, we start letting go, right. So as the Buddha which puts it over everybody else, but if you die before you die, felt kind of disappears. This integrates,

Brandon Handley 25:58

right yeah, not lost. Uh, you know, I never, you know, I’ve definitely always said, This ease but I’d never done this integrate. Right. Which, you know, right yeah, that explains kind of a lot.

Christian Wiese 26:19

Well, I feel bad it was like so let’s take the example of when you bump into your colleague when that person says what she never says just out of the blue uses a ratchet she never used the point it’s exactly the birth if you just read in that meaningful book at night, right? everything for you stops right just stared her. There are no thoughts. There is just that feeling of I can’t wait to see where this is. This is going. So you see this is just an example of the self disintegrate the the knowledge that everybody talks about. You’re so excited to be in the moment that innocence us Then, as an identity kind of get integrated into colleagues in the story in what’s about to come. That’s really the kind of, you know, living now. So it’s not that you as a person disappeared, it’s just that you literally just become out of it

Brandon Handley 27:16

when you become kind of the observer. Is that what you’re saying? Yeah, you kind of

Christian Wiese 27:21

the actor, the everything.

Brandon Handley 27:24

And you’re seeing all that at the same time. You’re seeing it all at the same time. Is that what you’re saying? That’s

Christian Wiese 27:28

right. Yeah. And many people have thought experiences, it’s just they never put in a spiritual meaning to answer just say, Wow, that was Mind blown. Yeah, sure. Sure.

Brandon Handley 27:41

I think I think that that’s what you and or I or even religion provides is this kind of framework for when it does happen? That’s right. Right. So because there’s going to be this whole building of the ego to Carl Jung talking about that you’re talking about there where you’re going Go your whole life and it’s gonna seem to fit everybody else’s expectations, patterns, societal norms, but then there’s going to be this threshold that you cross over, where you disintegrate with that identity of the self and you recognize the connectedness. That’s right to everything. That’s right. And if you don’t know, this is where I think this is where I’m gonna play big is there’s a bunch of over 33 million in the United States, right? last census not this last one. They don’t claim any religion, right? So they don’t have a framework for when this happens to them. That’s right. So it’s like, hey, it’s okay. That’s right. let’s let’s let’s a let’s figure out kind of, what’s your what’s your what’s your background? And let’s, let’s steer you to a couple stories that reflect exactly where you are. Right.

Christian Wiese 28:52

Yeah, but more than that, if I could add on that, because I really think it’s important for people like you and I and your viewers. Think of that. See? You that was brainwashed by his father mother to be somebody, you know, go to Harvard. Yeah, buddy, no be member of that golf club or whatever it is. And then you meet all those competitive people and you just put all your identity and building profits. And then there comes that moment and God forbid anybody, if it happens to anybody, but let’s say the daughter certainly gets cancer. Can you just suddenly say, Whoa, I couldn’t care less what the profit statement is, I need to make sure that my daughter is okay and that she gets healthy again, so that those life changing moments, but he didn’t say, well, it’s no longer about profit, but what is it about? And that I think is the opportunity to really have the people in the important places, CEOs, the upper management, the inventors creators, that they have that guidance of You know, moving towards a new model? Yeah. And I think if we if we get a few of those people, amazing change.

Brandon Handley 30:08

What’s your what’s your vision of a new model?

Christian Wiese 30:11

quantum new model is just the understanding that the economic model of scarcity is gone. That we live in a world of abundance that everybody has to find it and that’s a spiritual journey because we have to start overriding the voices of our parents, the voices of society, the voices of our spouse, tables, Rosa, that’s amazing thing. It’s not an any spiritual folks always say us versus them. It’s not true, or the unconscious person if it wasn’t for the unconscious person.

It’s not true, right?

Brandon Handley 30:45

We have growing Why is that not true? Let’s Let’s hit on. Why is that not true?

Christian Wiese 30:49

Well, it can be true in the sense that people get so annoying that we just say I have to leave. And then they’re part of the process, but often, it is our own. As I said to you, my spiritual experience was for the last two years where I didn’t have as much to do as, as I used to when I did exactly what you were doing having my nine to five job and then at night, you know, working streamer hours to get my books out, I suddenly realize you know, there is an inner void that I had to face. And yes, I was so cool at my work and I was so cool as a life coach and so cool in my writing, but you know what that coolness means something to me. And that’s not I don’t want people to project to me that’s, that’s not it. I have to find a way to to to face it in a void and of course the underdog it’ll say meditation. You go invert, you discover the light within. The first part of the journey is we see the light without the second part of the journey is we discover the light within minutes. It’s really not rocket science. So without It happens to everyone.

Brandon Handley 32:01

Well, you know, and but but it you know, it’s still again, I think until you begin the journey until you kind of start to experience. It’s not part of your peripheral, right? It’s not it’s not, it’s not something that you’re willing to accept. Yeah, that’s right. I, you know, like I said to you earlier, I’m working on my, on some of my information, right? For kind of describing, because it’s, this is a I’m building it as I go. But what does it say? I said, you know, spirituality. So this, you know, look, I’m, I’m talking to my generation, right? Mm hmm. But also, spirituality for the person that couldn’t give a shit about it until now.

Unknown Speaker 32:46

Right, because,

Brandon Handley 32:48

until you until until you have had an experience, you’re not going to be triggered to seek more and seek harder because you have had That experience.

Christian Wiese 33:01

I think those people are incredibly powerful and incredibly potent, because I do see a little problem as those very spiritual guys. Again live in their own head. Yeah, oh, you have to be a vegetarian. All you have to do all you have to do that, by the way, I am a vegetarian at moral grounds, but I eat a burger over the veggie burger. I do not feel any difference. However, on the moral ground, I’d say, yeah, it’s not nice what we do for our animals. But the thing is, if you just live in your you have to feel it. If you just live in your head, you will always play those us versus them games and they’re always different, us versus them never because the only insight of spirituality is we are all one. The critical voice that confronts us is us speaking to ourselves. We have to just find a way to either say I don’t want to deal with her right now going a different direction not to say There must be a way how we can integrate our views because we have one. Right,

Brandon Handley 34:08

right right now. And I love that. I think it was for me to work with a particular group where I understood about, you know, cooperation and trust and supporting each other. And just like you were saying earlier, I feel like that’s a place where, if you can’t be or don’t feel comfortable with being vocal about spirituality, you can apply spirituality. Would you say that that’s true?

Christian Wiese 34:38

And don’t talk about it, that the other mistake that the spiritual books say, they go out to the public and say, Oh, you just don’t know the power of communication, the power of connectivity, the power of caring, don’t say a word Just do it. Right. Because when you say something, the other person will say, Well, what a loony but the moment when you actually do it, The other person will take notice. And I do think there is incredible I mean, when it comes to the power of actually, I think it’s a course in miracles that says creation is communication, which I think in our modern world is incredibly important because in a sense, it’s all especially what you do. It’s all about communication, connectivity, creative, creativity, caring for each other. So I had in the book, the four C’s, as I called it, I think that that all applies for the modern society, especially the stuff that you’re doing. And if you start using the experiment, I’m not an ego. Let me see if I think that the other guy ain’t so bad. If I start with a premise, let me see what happened. In next day. The guy starts You know, taking the foreign advantages, okay, Soviet experiment wasn’t, wasn’t so successful. But in my experience, I did it for seven years. It worked like a charm. But it was a psychological experience. You felt the fear the other person felt the fear the getting together is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. But when you start out with that process, let me experiment those very powerful themes. A you will be successful. But if you do it on a higher level, if a CEO start saying, you know what we are all, we all talk the talk, but we don’t walk the walk, right? We all say all we can take care of each other. But at the end of the day, whoever brings in the most money is the guy who gets promoted and whoever doesn’t bring in the most money as a problem, right? Well, that’s a very spiritual because it might be that this is support person, a blue guy who actually carries himself A team, right? But you only reward the guy who brings in the money. Sure. So if you really start with the premise, we are one unit. Let’s take care of each other. Let’s build something together. Let’s have an incentive structure that really rewards true connectivity and trusting each other. I do think operations can go very far. Because when you really believe in the in the company you’re working for you go out of your way to deliver when you think Well, my boss is just telling stories, and he doesn’t care for me at all. And the moment when things don’t go my way out the out of the door. You will not deliver the same goods that you do and I think it’s a very powerful

Brandon Handley 37:48

100% hundred percent like, you know, I just left one company not too long ago, and that was the feel you nothing ever felt safe and secure. Right? Not for For top performers or bottom performers, nobody. So how are you going to perform on a consistent basis in that environment? versus where I’m at now, um, similar environment of me similar similar type of work. But, you know, like I said, the, from the top down, they’re leading with spirituality, and they mean it. It’s very powerful. It’s also challenging to wrap my head around some of it, you know, because I’m just grown up with this other environment, right? So you’ve grown up in this other environment, you’re like, Okay, well, you’ve got to adapt and somewhat rapidly, but it seems like what is this? So just going through a new wardrobe right here, you gotta try on these.

Christian Wiese 38:47

For anybody who has been trained by the modern Western model. You know, tough guys finish first. nice guys finish last and similar statements. America, it shouldn’t happen. But the model that we are living, the Western society is living and the eastern guys are a little different. They’re smarter than us. They have, they have a little bit more of that idea of oneness. And the Europeans are somewhere in the middle. So I know a little bit about it, because at work, I was covering Japan, which is really at the other extreme of the, of the spectrum. I live. I’ve spent now most of my life in the US, but I grew up in Germany. So I actually felt that I experienced was all three models, Europe, somewhere in between the Americans very much about the individual, and the Asians, the Chinese, the Japanese kind of really believing in the power of one, right. Every model has its strengths and advantages. I guess if you play football, you should believe in the proper cause. If you play golf, you should you should believe in the power of the individual. But if you’re on a company, maybe some of the spiritual concept people make you a lot of money.

Brandon Handley 40:02

Yeah, no, no 100%. You know, just just again, going back to the point like when you show your teammates, you know, cooperation and you give them trust and you support them in, you know, give them some autonomy, right? Don’t micromanage price and value their inputs genuinely. It’s changes the whole dynamic.

Christian Wiese 40:29

They work from early in the morning until late at night if we need to produce something because they believe in, right?

Brandon Handley 40:38

Yeah. No, that’s true. That’s true. I wanted to hit you know, two more things here. The bliss point, you know, I think that’s an interesting concept and idea, what would you you know, what would you say that that is, is there a specific one, there’s definitely been numbers thrown about there. How can you tell that you are As your bliss point,

Christian Wiese 41:02

it’s very complicated, then I do think you sometimes need a coach like you for that. Because you shouldn’t short sell yourself. You shouldn’t say all text is not good for me. That’s what the book said, Oh, I shouldn’t be greedy and shouldn’t earn money. And I hate those capitalists who have that big house and right. No, that’s a lot of repression in debts knew it could be true for some, maybe there are some monks, but there’s a lot of repression. And I don’t think that’s spirituality at all. I think, again, going back to the young example, first you try to assert yourself, you say, I need a loving companion, I need a worker I can really express myself. I like because it’s and I like big cars and I like to have a motorcycle. I want to have those three things. And then you try to try for 10 years. 15 years, maybe After the changes, you know what? I now understand the trade off. Yes, I could earn money but it doesn’t give me meaning. Or maybe it’s the kind of well I earn a lot of money and it gives me so much meaning. We can’t say what happened to an individual, but everybody has to try to so the way I would put it is everybody has to create a garden, you know, the Garden of Eden, your own personal garden, and you figure out over the decades what it really is, that is important. We, of course, family men. I mean, to me, family is everything. No. But we both love creative expression and connecting with others.

Brandon Handley 42:39

Yeah, listen, I mean, that’s that for me is so huge, right? I you know, we you said, you know, so we’ve used the word creative and creativity so often through here, you know, I think a lot of people are under the mistaken impression that creativity can only be applied to painting or drawing or writing? Where else can it be applied from your from your perspective?

Christian Wiese 43:05

Well, I was at work, as I said, I started out as an economist, but then I realized if I just put out an economic forecast, people say very interesting, but how can I make money? And you know, then you say, Okay, well, how can I help them making money and then you go into the direction of well, it’s all psychology. As long as that line goes down, people are depressed, but the moment when it stops going down, that’s the moment when markets get exciting. So it was about psychology about getting appealed for short term forecasts and how it can, can use it. And the most wonderful transition happened over those 20 years. 10 years I spent as a scientist, right. And then 10 years I spent as an artist, because then certainly when I came to psychology, it’s but above feeling when it came to those lines that went up and down was literally taking the pencil thing I have a hunch that over the next couple of months, we will start seeing this. And I literally became an artist of have better pattern recognition is is as much an art as a science. And I immediately went into the artists position. So Can anybody be creative at Walmart? I don’t know. You know, sometimes we have to leave certain places. But Can everybody within that job description can find ways to connect more to be more creative to really express themselves? Absolutely. Because I lifted I learned about I needed a long time for that, I hope with your help other people that can do it faster. I literally needed 10 years. But it’s been a long time now, because I went from the left part of the brain to the right part of the brain. And you literally have to restructure your neurons to be to come out on the other side.

Brandon Handley 44:55

Now for sure, for sure. And I think Well, I think that with technology Today, not necessarily the, you know, compute power or any of these other things, but with the ability to listen to audios and go out and find what it is that is striking your chord. And you can go and you can do, you can build those neuron paths quickly. I pray, you can build this neuron pass quickly. So the others I asked about, like, you know, kind of, and I appreciate, you know, how you applied like the artistry to to your work and you became an artist in that space. But one of the, you know, you ended it with like, you know, the person at Walmart, can they be creative? Can they become an artist? I say yes, in the sense of, they create the experience. Right? You know, how do you create meaning in what it is that you do and the example that I use years ago, for me, was when I was banging around on Excel spreadsheets and press n Buttons every day as a man, all I do is I show it to work, I bang bang around on this machine, I press buttons, I say, what what are you really doing? And what am I really doing? And, you know, so for me, I was selling to a large service provider at that time. And I thought about the, the idea of what I was doing was enabling all the bits and zeros in like, everywhere that was happening because the work that I was doing was directly touching almost every bit of zero that you know, covered at least east coast. So, and, you know, I was like, well, who’s at the end of the end of that today? I’m creating relationships today I’m enabling, you know, these things. So, I would say, you know, for the person that is at Walmart, and if they can create a happy experience that they can help somebody locate, you know, maybe racquetball for whatever for that person’s dog. They’re creating an experience and so they are In essence creating, it’s your willingness to recognize your creative capacity.

Christian Wiese 47:06

That’s right. I have a beautiful story that I share in the upcoming book, which will come out maybe later this year, early next year. It’s called the daymaker. Did you hear that story? Now? Tell me about it. Okay, so there was a guy who was flying business class from Australia. And he was flying business class and he was sitting next to and you know, one of those very serious business type people and, and, and the guy said, so what do you do for a living? He said, Oh, I’m a daymaker. The guy looked at him as a daymaker. What are you okay, so it turns out, he was a hairdresser. But he said he had so much fun doing it and he had so much energy that, that he, you know, emitted in a sense he was doing He was making the day for people. And initially when you had to start this out a very interesting UI opinion of themselves, but then the start continues and says one day he was in this in a shop and a woman came one customer, she came two weeks ahead of schedule, it’s out. Can you speak to me in Excel? Absolutely. And he said on that day, they both had a lot of fun developing support, and he presumed that she had a special event that you had to go through. So you know, they spent an hour together and then she went off. And a week later, she got a he got a letter from her saying that on that day, she actually wanted to commit suicide, but she kind of wanted to look good. And by just hanging out with that guy and feeling his energy, and you know, she always liked him, he decided not to. So you know, that really gives meaning to the word daymaker. And I think very much like your spiritual experience to see ones and zeros. If we just if we just start To remind ourselves what kind of input we have, right? I think that already would be out of this point.

Brandon Handley 49:06

Yeah, yeah. No, I love that story because the impact that you’re having is so much greater than, than you’re giving yourself credit for. That’s right, right. That’s wrong. So well, you know, so you’ve got the two books, you’ve got the way of the Meister that’s out. You have the experience. Experiment. What’s the other one? Because a magnificent experiment, magnificent experiment. And now you’ve got another one coming out. Yeah. What’s up? Do you have a you have a working title yet?

Christian Wiese 49:34

Yeah, actually, we have a couple of books. So I mentioned my partner, we want to open a spiritual center and, and she has a mentor in Cape Town. And, and she has translated a book that deals with chick Gong. So the energy dynamics and we put out that that book because I think it really is addresses an area that that in our in our industry, I was almost tempted to say in our you know, in our profession is often overlooked the feelings of power feelings. So literally to understand the feelings that are going through it and having method of dealing with them. So that’s one very exciting book, The title is letting go release your suffering. Okay. The other book is a little bit more into the philosophical direction that I started to discuss here a little bit. It’s kind of what is religious state of no self, it’s really the ultimate freedom so that the title of the book is breaking free. So really the discussing the next step in the spiritual journey that happens to everyone, which is just in a sense, becoming part of a bigger oneness, which itself increasingly being, you know, out of the picture, which is really a lot of fun.

Brandon Handley 50:54

Right, right. I mean, once you remove yourself and you know, I talked about it without One of my first podcasts is kind of letting go and letting God

Christian Wiese 51:02

Right. Yeah. Right. Same idea. Right. Do you want to talk

Brandon Handley 51:08

about spiritual center at all? I just got coming up. How’s that looking for you? I think it’s super exciting for you. How’s it? How’s that? How’s that feel?

Christian Wiese 51:14

Yeah, so we got a little delayed with the COVID crisis, because, you know, meditation is all about hanging out with each other. We haven’t done anything. She sits in Washington, DC. So the hope is we start something in Washington, DC, but we will only get a reading on that next year. Okay. This is just about getting the book out and hopefully, we’ll build some momentum.

Brandon Handley 51:38

Awesome. I love it. I love it. So I think I think the book, both ones I’ve read, I’ve enjoyed and I think that they’ve helped me on my spiritual journey. They’ve helped me to, you know, see how you’ve gone through it right because others other Listen, people have gone through what you’re going through for any listener out there, right. So no matter what you think you’re going through Somebody has gone through this, you’re not the first you won’t be the last. That’s right. It is a it is a wonderful, crazy experience. But there are people like, you know, I can reach out to Christian if I’m going through something and just talk about it right? And he’s gone through it. A lot of the stuff that I’ve gone through or you’re very good at helping give me direction at least feel like hey, maybe not me, but maybe maybe go you know, look in this area, here’s, you know.

Unknown Speaker 52:27

And so

Brandon Handley 52:29

by reading your books, I can kind of see where my journey is going. And so I really enjoy that. So thank you for writing these books. Thanks you for sharing with with not just me, but with others, right? Your journey has been very, very helpful. Where should we send people to go kind of find you and get in contact with you?

Christian Wiese 52:47

No, I think the best way I mean, you can find me on Facebook, but otherwise, the best way is really my website. It’s w w w dot Christian and then my middle initial which is m which is also the maesteg And then my last name visa.com. And they can find everything access to the books and to the block and and also to somebody who wants to work with me my services. So that’s the best way of

Brandon Handley 53:15

awesome thanks for hanging out today.

Christian Wiese 53:16

Thank you so much for this

I was lucky enough to catch up with Marissa Nash and chat about how she is leading with spirituality in her thriving coaching business.

Her career in wellness started at lululemon, and since she has worked in the wellness industry for over 9 years. She has been a Certified Professional Life Coach for 5+ years, a 1,000+ hour Yoga Instructor for 9+ years and she specialize in teaching self-care, meditation & mindfulness techniques.

Marissa is a certified Executive Coach and Corporate Wellness Consultant. She is also certified in The Science of Wellbeing from Yale University and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction from Thomas Jefferson, developed by Meditation Teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn.

She developed The Well Method out of a gap that she witnessed in the wellness industry as well as the practices, techniques, and holistic modalities that she has used to heal and transform her own mind, body, and soul.

She has coached over 300 women and have worked with clients across the U.S. and abroad, including California, Pennsylvania, New Zealand, North Carolina, Texas, South Carolina, Michigan, and New York!

She graduated from Penn State University in 2011 with a B.A. in Corporate Communications and completed my Master’s Degree in Organizational Leadership and Executive Coaching at Concordia University with Dr. John Townsend.

She is also a dog-mom to my mini-goldendoode, Finn (check her out on my instagram!)

Connect with Marissa here:

https://www.thewellco.org/

https://instagram.com/marissarosenash

https://www.facebook.com/thewellcobymarissarose

Brandon Handley 0:00
54321 Hey there podcast listener and welcome to spiritual dope today I’ve got Marissa Nash joining me and she is a woman’s life wellness coach, executive coach, meditation teacher, yoga instructor, corporate wellness consultant, you know, she embodies all these things and, but she pulls it together in a holistic manner. So she has a holistic life coach. And her mission is to teach you how to tap into the wisdom of your mind, body and soul. And learn to trust your intuition and step into your personal power both personally and professionally. As a certified life coach for over five years, a over 1000 hours of yoga instructor for nine years, specializes in self care, meditation and mindfulness techniques. And she’s also a certified coach and a corporate wellness consultant. There’s There’s quite a bit more so you know, you’ve got you’ve got it all gone down. But as it kind of relates to this, you believe in Many holistic modalities that you use with your clients such as Lifestyle coaching, yoga, mindfulness, visualization, and Reiki. And I’ll leave it for anyone who wants to find out more about all that you’re doing to head over to your website after they kind of check it out. But welcome, and thanks for joining us.

Marissa Nash 1:19
Thanks, Brandon. I’m really excited to be here.

Brandon Handley 1:22
You have no idea what you’re in for do you’re like, I have no idea what’s happening.

Unknown Speaker 1:27
But like the energy of it.

Brandon Handley 1:30
I love it. I love it. Um, so you and I were connected by a good friend of mine, Jeremy Todd, who we started our podcast adventure years ago with each other. He was quite literally my first interview. And and YouTube connected and he said, you know, you got to talk to Brandon, you’re, you’re right down the street from me. You’re over in Philadelphia, you’re from the area as well. And let’s kick it off. I mean, what what what, that’s what I want to start with cards at the every card. Nearby your tarot cards because this is how you start your this so So, you know Marissa starts her podcast with a, you know, a kind of a card reading. I don’t, but I love the idea so I figured I’d spring that on you let’s find one do you want to pull a card and tell us what we’re up for?

Marissa Nash 2:15
I love it. Yes, I would love to do that I do on my podcast and in sessions with all my clients, I pull cards. I find that it’s really important just to connect spiritually with you know, you and I are humans on this earth doing the best we can but you know, what, what is the divine guidance that we need to be tuned into and also for your listeners. So I use Oracle cards. I’m a big fan of Gabby Bernstein. So I’m using her super attractor deck.

Brandon Handley 2:41
She, you know, I wasn’t aware of like she’s a spiritual junkie. Right? Is that right? Yeah. I love it. Right like it plays in line with spiritual dope, right. Come on now.

Unknown Speaker 2:51
Yes, I love it. Yes. Okay, so this is a cool one. So I’ll read this over. So it says the more I attune my energy with appreciation, the more the universe will deliver.

Brandon Handley 3:03
Hmm, love it. What’s that mean for us today?

Unknown Speaker 3:07
Yeah, I think it’s really interesting. I, you know, I, I don’t know where this conversation will go. But a big belief that I have is around manifestation and in order to manifest, you really have to appreciate what you have and you have to be in energy and in alignment with appreciation and gratitude. It’s a big part of my story. And what I help clients with is really focusing on living a life in alignment with gratitude and appreciation and a state of abundance. So I imagine that will come up today.

Brandon Handley 3:35
Absolutely, I mean, look, so that’s all the line is the line is, uh, you know, appreciate what you have, right? Just Just in general. You know, just be grateful for the things that you do have. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got a lot, but at least want what you have, right? Because if you’ve got a lot and you don’t want it, that’s not serving you. Right. Right. So for you For your for your information. So I grew up with a hippie mom. Right? Well, and, and yeah, we’ll see there you go and and it was like, you know, she was caught like these these lifestyle trappings, right like you know, these are all the trappings, like if you’ve got all these things and you’re kind of trapped with those things right because you have to, you’re trapped with those things you’re maintaining them. Right. So let’s let’s I mean let’s jump into, you know your journey a little bit I want to share a little bit of your backstory. realizing you’re from the Philadelphia area, you’re a Penn Stater Penn State, right. So Penn State, my wife went to Penn State as well she, she still talks about it, she still loves it seems like it must have been a good time there. But you also you’ve traveled around a little bit. And most recently if I if I’m following the story, now you’re back here from Texas. Right? Is that right? Okay. So, walk us in the journey from you know, Penn State to where you are today? Any synopsis any way you want to?

Unknown Speaker 5:03
Yeah, I would love to because my journey actually in wellness did start nine years ago at Penn State, which is a little surprising because you think Penn State party school, I was in a sorority, and I had this moment, my junior year of college, where I just knew that I was seeking more. I felt like you know, did the college thing. There’s something more for me, but I didn’t know what it was. And I remember my best friend Becca, I came back from summer break. And she just looked different. She looked radiant. She looked, you know what I would call really well. And I just asked him like, Becca, what have you been doing? It’s yoga. And I’m like, yoga. What, what’s yoga all about? Let me try it. And so we would do a 90 minute hot yoga class at this little apartment in State College on campus at Penn State. This guy named Doug owned it and he was just plugged heaters into the wall of this apartment studio that he rented. And we would do hot yoga for 90 minutes and then it would end with a yoga nidra. a pretty long 30 minute I feel like sometimes even 40 minute Yoga nidra practice which is so good. It’s a deep meditative practice. So you’re going deep into your subconscious through guided meditation. So I was introduced to meditation, spirituality and yoga, you know, one of its deepest levels at a very young age. And I don’t think I knew how powerful that really was, but it worked for me it calmed a lot of my anxiety. I have been a dancer when I was in middle school, I quit around High School. And I think that creative element was really missing from my life. So I felt like I had found my place I did one yoga class and call my dad the next day as a college student. I said, Dad, I’m going to get certified to be a yoga teacher.

Unknown Speaker 6:53
I have two or three grand

Unknown Speaker 6:57
Are you back and I did it. I honestly took one yoga class. Sign up for teacher training the next day with the philosophy that, you know if I pay for the teacher training I get for yoga classes and I get paid as a teacher. So it made sense to me. And from there my journey took off actually worked really well lemon for a while and two different stores in Philadelphia and in Charleston, South Carolina. And Lulu lemon was a great setup for me at a young age. They were really big on goal setting, there was a lot of transformational leadership that was happening within the organization, and just a lot of ways to really connect with the wellness community as well. So I really do a credit a lot of my early career to what I learned at lemon. And that that ended me up in Charleston, I ended up moving to Charleston before Charleston was, you know, the place that it is today. This was, gosh, six years ago, and stayed in Charleston for a little while. Where to Lou lemon didn’t teach much yoga there. But then I really started teaching yoga when I moved to Southern California

Brandon Handley 7:57
because there’s a there’s a Bill Murray story in Charleston. Yeah, let’s highlight that just for a second. Because you know, listen, when my wife and I were in North Carolina for a little bit you and I had talked a little bit about this before. And we’re like, the only reason we would go to Charleston would be to catch up with Bill Murray. What happened between you and Bill Murray?

Unknown Speaker 8:16
I don’t know very. I’ve never met him. But

Unknown Speaker 8:20
no, no.

Brandon Handley 8:22
Yeah, no. Did we have this conversation? He became me. That’s not you. Ah, are you sure?

Unknown Speaker 8:30
I never met him. I mean, he lives there. But yeah,

Brandon Handley 8:33
that was told me the story then.

Unknown Speaker 8:36
I don’t know.

Unknown Speaker 8:38
I’ve been talking to Okay, keep moving then.

Unknown Speaker 8:40
Oh, no, the girl said. Um, yeah. Now he has a restaurant though. Apparently. That’s really good. I

Brandon Handley 8:45
was I wasn’t so I was in this conversation. Mm hmm. Man. All right. Yeah, she’s pretty good with this, but go ahead.

Unknown Speaker 8:52
Um, yeah, so then I actually ended up moving to Southern California. I got a job teaching stand up paddleboard yoga in Laguna Beach. and manage this little paddle, paddle board shop and Laguna on the ocean. And it was awesome. You know, living in Southern California being in my early 20s I really got to live out a lot of the dreams that I had. And I then got connected with core power yoga. So I taught full time yoga in Southern California. I also managed the core power yoga studio for a little while. Another amazing organization to be a part of great, great leadership, great leadership development inside of the organization. And then I honestly moved back to Charleston and did some nonprofit work for a little while. And all along have been a life coach. So I’ve been a life coach for five years, I’ve always specifically focused on women, helping them to transform their lives, whatever that looks like for them, whatever their end goal is. In the recent couple of years, my my primary focus has been on holistic wellness, and really helping women to map out what their wellness plan looks like. I found For me when I really got in touch with Okay, my wellness is a priority took me a little while to figure out it was almost difficult it was it was hard like this undercover topic of like, I would walk in like a crystal shop and be like, Do you know anyone that practices I already know or let you know, like, do you know when doing energy healing and it’s like, why was this so hard to find? And

Unknown Speaker 10:23
so yeah,

Unknown Speaker 10:24
yeah, exactly but what I knew worked for me um, and so that’s really led me to design you know, the welco which is my wellness coaching firm, as well as my corporate wellness programs. And you know, as of late, the well method, which really guides women through a one year program, where they actually get to meet with me as their transformational leadership coach, but then also get access to for other holistic healers that they get to do private sessions with within the year because that’s what I’ve found works for me is being able to work with a lot of different modes. realities and a lot of different healers to make sure that I’m well in all different areas of my life.

Unknown Speaker 11:06
Now, I love it. I love it.

Brandon Handley 11:08
And I love Look, I mean, it’s initially right even back in college when you’re doing kind of the body movement, right with the yoga and then you go right into, you know that Yogananda right, like going into the deep meditative state. And, you know, the things that that’s, it’s a lot of people know, to move their bodies, right and work their bodies, and that’s really important, but what they don’t do after that is take some time to kind of go with it.

Unknown Speaker 11:35
Yes, I,

Brandon Handley 11:37
um, I want to know more about your hippie mom. Yeah. Yes. I mean, you know, so, you know, Was it easy for you then to for, for me to kind of jump into this space mentally. It was kind of an easy transition for myself, because of a hippie mom. Right. So I’m just curious if that was similar for you. Yeah, so

Unknown Speaker 11:57
my parents are both deadheads, so Grateful Dead all day long in our house still. And yeah, I think my mom, so my dad I would describe is like, yeah, deadhead, he still goes to like cover shows and Yeah, super into it just um, my dad was always so supportive of me and my dreams. He’s also an entrepreneur. So I think that helped me. So I’ve never been limited in that. And my mom is very spiritual. She’s very open minded. I love that about her. I remember she would buy me books of, you know, different world religions, and she always just encouraged me to explore and to really honor people and faith in their spirituality, their race. I mean, you know, what, what they believed and I’m, I’m really grateful for that. It’s something that you know, as you get older, you realize that not everybody is raised that way. And I really raised to be empowered to make my own decisions in my faith and spirituality career. And it’s helped me a lot, I think, be a leader in this space.

Brandon Handley 12:56
Now, I love it and it seems like you know, you’re totally aligned with Kind of your purpose? Um, and what would you say purposes because, you know, bring in, I think as a coach, right, coming from the coaching space as well as a coach, you know, it’s our job to help others bring out the best and others. Right? Bring. And I had another guy I had a coach and look, I have a, I’m not a Christian, I don’t come from a Christian background, but you know, my coaches like my job is to bring people to Christ. I was like, Okay, tell me what that means to you. Right? Because I mean, that could mean anything to anybody. Right? And when he explained it, to me, it was, you know, to kind of bring you to your Divine Self Help you step into your power, that’s a good thing. So what does that? What does coaching mean to you? What’s your end game? Like when you’re coaching somebody? What’s that transformation? really mean to you?

Unknown Speaker 13:46
Yeah, that’s a great question. So for me, I would say since I work specifically with women, it’s to help them to live a life that feels in alignment. So I do a lot of limiting beliefs work. I also really do believe in meditation because I think that We can get covered in beliefs about ourselves, or we have the world works that aren’t true. And for me, it’s been most healing, to clarify, but what beliefs do I choose? And then from that place, I can then make empowered decisions about my life. And, you know, it’s difficult. And that’s why I think coaching is so valuable, because, you know, it’s difficult making decisions for my life that don’t fit the mold for what everybody else is doing. And I know I’ve always kind of been that way. But through coaching and having my own coach, you know, you’re you’re validated, you’re affirmed, you’re reminded that that’s okay. I’m also really big on community. So I do have a community called the well and that’s really designed so that women can come together and explore who they are and still be loved along the way. So that that’s really important to me, the way that I do that I can talk about later, but it’s really about making empowered decisions for your life, based on you learning how to live a life that’s in alignment for you, not based on what anybody else wants for you.

Brandon Handley 14:57
No, absolutely right. I mean, there’s the public process of kind of going to unlearn everything you’ve been taught. Right? But but in the sense and and and try not to do it too dramatically, right? Like you always think about a good buddy of mine. And we always talk about, you know, the matrix, and nobody makes their first jump, right? And just trying to like, yeah, look, you’re gonna make that first jump. And if you you know, quote, unquote, fail, or if you fall down, I hit your face. I mean, that’s all in your mind. Right? Like, you just get back up and you keep at it, right? How do you know, how do you help these women to expand and understand their limiting beliefs?

Unknown Speaker 15:35
Yeah, definitely. I like what you said about you know, I don’t think it’s a hard and fast process. I think that can actually be more disruptive and counterproductive. So you know, I actually did a limiting belief session with a client yesterday, but that was her sixth time working with me. So we’ve been working together for three months. You know, it’s something that I think the relationship with Coach and client is really important. I’m definitely the type of coach where you know, it’s not a one off session. I don’t even offer one off sessions like it’s it’s a year long program at this point because you have to feel really safe, you know, you have to feel really safe and secure with the people that you’re working with to really transform on a deep level. So the limiting beliefs work, I actually was inspired to create that. From john Maxwell. It was literally like a four sentence line in one of his books that I read. And I was like, that’s it. That’s exactly what I need and what I feel like my clients have needed. I used to run my coaching practice, in that I would help my clients to visualize where they want to be. I would help them to set the goals to get there, and then I would hold them accountable. But I noticed they weren’t actually achieving and accomplishing their goals because they were running up against these limits in these blocks. So that’s how now I tackle the blocks and I let them know that it’s normal to have blocks, right. Like I said, like the unlearning process isn’t unique to anyone. We all meet that. So yeah, it’s really, I would say like guiding them and holding their hand through it but also empowering them. Don’t give them words or language, I might give them examples. But ultimately they end up with an affirmation that is going to then rewire their brain to push them to where they want to be in a loving and kind way.

Brandon Handley 17:10
Hello, hello. And john Maxwell is really awesome, right? I wasn’t a fan of his until his latest book, right? And I don’t even know what the name of it is, but somebody shared it with me when the leader shift, right, why the leadership, audible was like, so good. And like, literally mowing my lawn listening to it. I was like, I was like, that’s it this great, I’m like, you know, and then I was like, get Fine. I’ll go read some more of his stuff. You know, because, you know, some, you know, coming from that subculture background and you can’t Yeah, that’s more it’s a little too square square hole for me, right. Um, so, you know, I finally accepted them into my life. It’s my john Maxwell story. But it’s like that, right? You you. You have and this is, this is My process right sounds kind of similar, where you’ve got the idea in your mind. And it’s not until like you stumble across something else that explains it for you like, Oh my god, that four lines right there explains what I’ve been trying to convey, but I haven’t been able to do it. And there it is. And it’s just like a burst right there kind of like a starburst, right? So I love that. Let’s talk a second about like, you know, spirituality and Divinity. Right, what I mean? I think, yeah, I think I heard you say divinity. Talk a little bit about that, you know, on one of your podcasts, and then what’s that mean to you? Like, kind of taking divine grace and spirituality, right, like

Unknown Speaker 18:46
fill me in like, what’s what’s up?

Unknown Speaker 18:48
For me my spirituality is a constant exploration. I remember when, you know, I I was a Christian at a point and then I you know, I wasn’t and I was raised Christian. So I kind of went in and out and you know, I am no longer a Christian. And I remember asking myself like, well, who do I pray to that, you know? And for me it was it was kind of helpful and fun to just explore, you know, ask other people like, Well, how do you pray? And what does that look like? And I would work with different healers and just kind of, you know, kind of absorb and try on and then figure out what works for me. So, currently, my spiritual practice my spirituality looks like a lot of meditation, a lot of self reflection, a lot of letting go of being told what to do and how to do it and and challenging and questioning and digging in. But a big spiritual practice for me is just reciting some affirmations and prayers that I have. One that I specifically love that I’m working with right now is I love myself unconditionally. I feel myself unconditionally. I feel myself loving myself unconditionally. I feel myself forgiving myself unconditionally. We thank you. We thank you. We thank you. So the past the present in the future, and I love that prayer. So that’s just mean that brings me back to a place of centering and grounding and then just helps me move on with my day. So yeah, for me, it’s really being connected to the divine throughout the day. So cards helped me with that meditation. Prayer yoga. breathwork is a big practice of mine. I think there are a lot of different ways to spirituality. And if you’re someone that’s looking to explore spirituality, I highly recommend white hot truth by Danielle Laporte. She kind of tackles all these different spiritual practices and religions and beliefs in a really loving, hilarious way. And it really freed me up to be like, this doesn’t need to be so serious, you know, like I can just floor and try on and see what works for Marissa,

Brandon Handley 20:47
for sure, for sure. I love that. I love that right? It doesn’t have to be so serious. It doesn’t have to be. Don’t have to like, just kind of make fun of the door. There’s always like a headband. Like listen if you go to a dead concert everybody looks like they go to what that concert right? And sometimes you get the same type of thing with spirituality you go to like you’re like, Oh, you know what these it looks like this looks like it could be a pretty cool spiritual group you show up and everybody’s wearing like the same kind of tie dye skirt like beads around their neck and you know, there’s definitely some crystals going on. Right? But it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to look the part to be spiritual, right? You don’t have to be do it that way. And it doesn’t sound like you’re doing it that way. Sounds like you’re doing you know what’s, what’s houses look for? maresa. Right. connected to the divine, then let’s take another layer deeper. What’s the divine mean to you?

Unknown Speaker 21:43
Yes, I really believe I kind of CO relate. Mm hmm. So deep question. So I do pray for divine guidance. I have found that instead of you know, praying to God, I pray for divine guidance. So that’s one way that I connect with the divine I also view the divine as our higher self. So sometimes I will visualize either my higher self or my higher self showing up as golden light and invite that into my body and clear and release any beliefs within me that are not in alignment with my higher self, who I believe is the divine version of me.

Brandon Handley 22:19
Okay, is the Divine Self. And just, you know, kind of checking it out, right, I love First of all, I love the imagery. You know, is it the Divine Self a part? A part? Is it within you, a part of you are separate from you, like, I’m just, you know, where we are.

Unknown Speaker 22:36
I see it as something I can always connect with. I think, you know, I’m not personally actually someone that believes, you know, and like, I’m not trying to achieve enlightenment on this earth. You know, but I think that I think I’m a human, you know, a soul and a human body. You know, I am very human and very much of this world. Every day, you know, it’s like, um, you know, I don’t believe in like wearing all white And being spiritually light ending all day. And I love being a human and love being in this body so that I can bring divine guidance to this earth. So yeah, I think for me, it’s something that I can always access and also is within me, but because I live in the world, you know, that can be clouded. Sure, no, no, I get it. I get it. And first of all, I’ll throw out like I made a coffee cup. It says a first coffee than awakening. Right? Yeah.

Brandon Handley 23:27
Right. Because we are like totally human. And like, you know, some days which is like, you know, if you if you if you catch me before this cup of coffee might not be best idea, right. So, so here’s the here’s why I’m digging into that, right? Because I think I think the lion came from like Joe dispenza. Right? We only rise to our level of thinking, right? If we only rise our level of thinking and then if we think that and there’s nothing about being human right if we just think that if we think We’re just seeing a man and we just think that we’re these these shells. And we just think that we’re these, you know, flesh bags and there’s nothing again, nothing wrong with that. But once you kind of introduce your higher self, once you introduce this connection to divinity, once you access the divinity, your Divine Self, and you’ve got that ability to access that, what does that do to your level of thinking? Right? And to me, like that just means that you access a different, you know, level or phase of thinking. So with your divine with your divine divinity and divine grace, you’re able to take on more than you could if you were just human, right? And again, I’m not saying just humans are bad we all have everybody has the ability. And the other part of this too is like if we go all the way back, you know, what beliefs do you choose? Right? You can choose, you know, if we use Albert Einstein, you know, either everything’s a miracle or nothing’s a miracle, right? If we use the Vedanta Right, I’m not, if you listen to Swami is Safari on a panda, right, I totally butchered that last name, but I got all the syllables. If, if you ever check him out, like I mean, there’s 44 hours like where he’s gotten into the introduction of data, but like, part of it is either your all of it or none of it right? You’re either all of the universe or you’re not a bit you’re connected 100% or not at all. So but that’s a choice that you make. And once you make those choices, right, it starts to open up and it sounds like you do some la right like, I mean, you know, law of attraction stuff, it all kind of plays in and that’s why you know, I’m kind of digging in on the Divinity part, just kind of seeing where you are with that. So once you accept your divine access, how do you feel like that transformed you?

Unknown Speaker 25:46
Yes, interesting, because actually, I’m gonna relate this to the the work. The way that I help people to access their most Divine Self for sure is through meditation visualization. I take them through, you know, deep guided journeys, but I also because of the human experience I really helped them to focus on what their core desired feelings are, and how do they want to feel in this life because I believe that when you can access that, then you can actually live out your most divine and most empowered self. So for me, once I connected with, you know, who am I and what are my wants and my needs and desires, which is typically more difficult for women than it is for men. I was really able to make decisions for my life that bettered my life that made me feel more in alignment that started to attract more of what I wanted, and you kind of alluded to it, but I think that perspective is key. And that’s why in the beginning, when we pulled this card, you know, tuning your energy to appreciation is huge. Because if you can attune yourself to appreciation or you know, to an affirmation of gratitude to what’s already amazing in front of you, you’re going to start to Yes, I believe attract more of it, but also have eyes for seeing more of it. So I’m a big believer in that As well

Brandon Handley 27:01
100% I call that like kind of setting your filters, right? Like, pretend like we’re all walking Google’s right. If I go and I say, you know, show me beautiful things in Google, it returns beautiful things. It never ever does it return, like a whole bunch of crap. Right? And, you know, so if we wake up every day, you’re like, Oh, this sucks. That sucks. This sucks. That sucks. You know, you’re setting your filter to this sucks. This sucks. And that’s all you’re gonna see. Right? So I wanna, I want to, I’m gonna pick on a little bit here on the, you know, the women, you know, women and and kind of determining what they want, you know, versus men. Right? As a challenge, right? What makes you say that like, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 27:44
yeah, but while the masculine energy, like the Divine Masculine is much more rooted in what they want, what they need, getting those needs met, it’s much more stable and consistent. Just eat You know, we could go deep, like our hormone cycles are different, you know. So men are men are very static from day to day. So they wake up, they want, it’s pretty much the same every day. Women are more in a 28 day hormone cycle. So we change and we add and we flow in the Divine Feminine is it’s more creative, it’s a more more open, it’s more sensitive. So for us, it actually can change a lot. You know, this goes for both women and men, but a lot of women that I work with are also empaths. So they can take on a lot of other people’s energies, and men can do that, too. Absolutely. But yeah, I think that, you know, women are naturally a little bit more curious and sensitive and willing to go with the flow versus be like, this is what I want this I need day in day out.

Brandon Handley 28:45
Sure. Enough, fair enough. Fair enough. Um, and here’s the only the only the only thing I’ll say about that is that I think that’s just our Western conditioning. Right? And, and I hit on this all the time with, you know, kind of anybody I talked to especially young guys when we like, when we’re growing up, right as men. It’s like It’s like, and women too, I’m sure it’s like, Alright, well, don’t give into your emotions, right? Don’t react to your emotions. And you know, you can’t let your emotions control you. And what that translates into, for me as a child, right is, oh, I’m feeling something, I need to shut that off and never address it again. All right. And I think that i think that that’s kind of where the that’s what we see. Right? The the men’s non ability or haven’t traditionally been trained to address their emotions, right, even identify him. Right. And I think that that’s the big challenge. It’s like, hey, do you even know what you’re feeling right now? Because if you don’t know what you’re feeling, how can you address it? Right? It’s just the whole awareness thing we like if it doesn’t have a label, you can’t you can’t do anything with it. Right? So that’s the one thing that the author out there because I don’t I feel like men kind of get a bum rap and we don’t allow. I don’t know what the hell I want, right? You know what I mean? It’s like, yeah, I’m just doing I’m just doing what the guy had me just did or over there. I’m like, I don’t shit works. We’ll try that. What do you just do? I’m gonna do that, right. Just like you got to varies. I’ll get two burgers. I don’t whatever. Right. Yeah. So it’s kind of like our social training. Right? Yeah, just saying give men a chance, you know? Yeah, it’s, it’s the, it’s the idea of like, have be had that open dialogue, right? And that’s a challenge too. For men. It’s like, you know, they feel like you know, I’m going to go just on my own here. So if we kind of open up and share a feeling of it, first of all, we’re like, we don’t even know we’re like, it feels kind of like this amorphous blob over here. Let’s let’s you know, let’s let’s whittle it down until we can figure it out. And nobody wants to be caught in that situation. Like I’m feeling these things and I don’t even know what they already want to talk about that because that could that could get rejected. Right.

Unknown Speaker 31:01
Yes, no, that’s a really great point. I definitely do agree, I think all of us can benefit from being more self aware. So the first piece is the awareness piece of how Yeah, how do I want to feel and not just go? Oh, yeah, like, the, like you said, This is what the person ahead of me did. So this is how I have to do it. One affirmation that I’ve been telling myself lately, as I, you know, like bring some new programs into existence for the welco is just I can be the first to do it. Because I want to overcome that belief of Well, I have to do it a certain way, because that’s how society has done it. It’s like, I’m an Aquarius, and I’m here to innovate and honestly, there’s to

Unknown Speaker 31:40
me, there’s no way so winter Bertha, January 27 25th. So um, you know, it’s funny.

Brandon Handley 31:51
The the idea though, so, you know, how do you want to feel in this life, right, how so let’s say you’re working with us women that aren’t over connected with their emotions, how do you get them connected to those emotions? And, you know, to get them to even explore that idea?

Unknown Speaker 32:08
Yeah, so it is a process. So I use the nine areas of wellness. And with each of those areas, we go through an entire map of how they’re feeling on a scale of one to 10 in that area, then we talk about what’s currently happening. So that’s the awareness piece in that area. And then I have them just rewrite and journal about how they want to feel or what they want in that area. So it could be like, you know, I want to buy a house or I want a different career, whatever it is, and then we we go back and I really have them focus on the feelings behind what they desire. And then I have them narrow those down. And then we start to set action steps and goals around those feelings because it’s honestly the hardest work is figuring out what you want to feel. emotional process, even just doing that that usually causes some shift and the person but then once you start to get those needs on small levels, it feels good. You know, I always hear that we are so primal, you know, we are primal beings, we want to feel good, we want what we want. So when you get clued in to what you want, you’re going to go and get it as long as you can start small, and then you’re going to want more of that and more of that. I always say, you know, it’s like, you know, if you’re a runner, I’m a runner, but after I go for a run, I can be having a pretty shitty day, and I’ll go for a run and then I’m like, I feel great. Everything’s okay, I want to drink a green juice. I’m gonna wake up early tomorrow and do yoga. You know, I’m like, I feel good. I did something good for myself. So the more small good things you can do for yourself. I think the more you can tap into that transformation a little bit quick, quicker.

Brandon Handley 33:40
And I think he talked about that in the beginning too. Like how do I start doing wellness just for myself? Right. And and how do you do that how you start some of your clients off right small bits and pieces and you know, what’s the, what’s some of the reactions that they get, like, what’s what are like? What are some timelines that you look Got a with the scenes, some transformations and people.

Unknown Speaker 34:05
Oh man, it’s so cool. So I really do focus my practice on women who who work in corporate, they certainly don’t have to. But a lot of my clients do work in corporate. So it’s really amazing to see that the work that we do in their personal life actually translates into their corporate space, they are much more confident. And this is within a couple of months. So that they noticed that they’re much more confident they’re making healthier decisions for their life. They’re trying a lot of different wellness modalities that feel like they finally fit. Because that’s the type of coach that will be like, cool, we’re gonna have you do yoga, but how are you feeling? What do you need? Okay, so you’re anxious. So let’s not have you do power yoga, let’s have you do some yoga. So it’s very holistic in that way, really looking at the client as a unique individual. their relationships begin to change very quickly. And yeah, they’re just overall happier and they get feedback really quickly from other people. A lot of my clients are like, people are telling you that I seem happier. And I’m like, Yeah.

Brandon Handley 35:04
Awesome. That’s awesome. I love it. I love you know, look, I mean, everybody, I think needs it right? to kind of go through the process. If we at least have somebody out there encouraging them and seeing them for who they are, right, we like you know, I see you for who you are. And we’re gonna help you to see the same for yourself. Yeah. Um, do you want to talk a little bit more about the wall method? Like kind of what you got going on there?

Unknown Speaker 35:31
Yeah, sure. I’d love to. So how a man the well method was really I would say that burst into existence just from a gap that I experienced in the wellness industry. And this obviously is, you know, my personal methodology and what works for me. So there are plenty of ways to do wellness. But what I noticed when I really wanted to start my wellness journey, and I was like, I’m ready. This is important to me. I’m ready to invest in it. Like I mentioned earlier, it was to like, it felt like I was piecemealing everything together and it honestly started to add up. You know, I’m like working with one healer there and I’m driving 30 minutes and then I found this other I related coach and I have to go 45 minutes into the city and I’m like driving all over and scheduling all these appointments and it was a little overwhelming. Yes, it absolutely worked. And I’ve connected with so many incredible wellness leaders. So what I’ve done with the well method is I’ve developed a one year program so my clients actually work with me as their holistic life coach and then they also quarterly get a session with a wellness expert. So I’ll have somebody that you know, teaches them I Aveda in a private one on one session and that really helps them to understand more about their own body and seasonal wellness. I have a girl that will be doing body acceptance and self love working with an astrologer and then a womb wisdom guide and healer. So it’s an amazing womb wisdom guide and healer

Unknown Speaker 36:58
wisdom

Unknown Speaker 37:00
Yes, this might be new. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 37:03
That’s interesting. That’s actually I’ve never heard I’ve never I’ve never heard and it’s just fun to say actually waited.

Unknown Speaker 37:08
Yeah, it’s a really cool creative title, but she’s a cycle track and how to actually use their cycle to their advantage, which is really important and women’s wellness.

Brandon Handley 37:18
Sure, man, it’s like, you know, the tides of the ocean no doubt, right? Yeah. And I’m sure that there’s like some emotional ebbing and flowing right. When are you going to use that? high tide of energy? You got it.

Unknown Speaker 37:32
I can tell you have a wife who understands

Brandon Handley 37:38
so listen again. I grew up in your my hippie mom. Oh, yeah. single mom is just kind of like, you know, it’s just it’s kind of already there. Right. So all that stuff there. So advantage disadvantage, I don’t know. Um, and and so you’re rolling this out? This is going to come out like around July so we’re going to be live in July?

Unknown Speaker 37:58
Yes, yes, we will be live In July, so I’ve actually already been doing I would say, half of this program, or you know, years now. So it’s really just an accumulation of everything that has worked and then really making it personalized. It will be a personalized bonus plan so that you don’t have to go find all the healers and ask weird questions and go into crystal shops and feel like you’re like, knowing that Unicode

Brandon Handley 38:22
gamma system there bro.

Unknown Speaker 38:25
Paying the table, you know, it’s, it’s all designed specifically for you. And actually, it’s based on seasonal wellness. So we’ll go through different wellness topics that I have found to be transformative in my life based on the seasons and the nature of each season and what you know, I believe that we should be holistically looking at in this season.

Brandon Handley 38:44
I love it. I love it on your page. Where do I find you at wellness podcast, you’ve got your wellness podcast, you offer a free virtual chain training on your site. You’ve got some meditations on there. You’ve got books Love I’m gonna go ahead and just say you know playing big by Tara Moore You are a badass by Jensen zero desire map. Which one did you mentioned at the beginning? Right? White Hot

Unknown Speaker 39:12
yes white hot truth by Danielle Laporte and she also wrote the desire map and all my clients get the desire map is I guess when they started incredible book,

Brandon Handley 39:21
right and I saw you had in your picture untethered soul. So you’re Michael singer fan right? Um Have you thought Have you read the surrender experiment?

Unknown Speaker 39:31
I haven’t,

Brandon Handley 39:32
should I? It’s interesting. It’s actually changed me and just like his his whole concept of it right? is you know, and I actually interviewed this guy named Greg Bernstein. He’s like a shaman, you know, God doing vortex tours in Hawaii, and he’s much one that I’m not doing any justice. But uh, you know, he, he talks about it too. We talk about la right and we also kind of talk about the constant Have you already have limiting beliefs? Even your most unlimited thought of what you want is pretty limited, right? We think the box is huge, right? But really, we’re playing like and like this, this kind of a pixel of it, as it were. So who am I? To go tell the universe what’s best for me? Right? And so, Michael singer kind of does it in this way where he says, I’m pretty sure the universe wants what’s best for me, but like, even more than I could ever imagine, so I’m just gonna surrender to what the universe has offer. Right? And I was like, I was like, it’s pretty potent bro. That’s pretty it’s pretty, it’s pretty big. Right? And then like, his whole story is is pretty interesting. But just like that, that that kind of idea was like, All right. So I wasn’t I wasn’t sure if you would, you’d read that one what um, you know, so you’re doing the cards. What is something that else is kind of like just radically changed your whole life, you know, spiritual journey. or anything that you’re doing? What is a book a movie? A song, poem? Whatever.

Unknown Speaker 41:06
Yeah, well I’m gonna have that book to my list because I really enjoy that and think I would really really love that so you know what I’m gonna throw this one in there this is probably not what you’re expecting doesn’t probably didn’t sound spiritual it is but just joy and having fun like having so much fun I think spirituality can get so serious you know I’m some meditation is so important getting on my mind doing my yoga practices, but sometimes you just need to go like have a drink with a friend or you know, go do something fun for yourself. So for me, I bought a surfboard recently I used to surf in California. And you know, my commitment is just to make sure that I’m at the beach and then I’m surfing and just really honestly like living a life that I want to live so I’m going to throw in there just fun.

Brandon Handley 41:48
No, I love it. I love it And listen, it’s actually in the word enlightenment right light, be light, right like just kind of doesn’t say and heavy man doesn’t say like, you know, and German and like, carry all this heavy shit around with you and be stoic. And so it gets a bad rap too. But I love it though. So no joy. And I like that you use joy over, you know, happiness. I think joy is more sustained. And you know, more recently I heard the definition of happiness is completely external is literally based on happenstance. So the things that are your around and your circumstances, right, I think that joy is something more innate that you can control. So I’ll take it. I’ll take it. What? Yeah, what would you say? What would you say that we haven’t kind of hit on something that you would share?

Unknown Speaker 42:40
Yeah, I mean, I don’t think we talked too much about how transformational meditation is, I know that you meditate. I think what’s really interesting, you know, I’m, I’m a pretty, you know, woowoo spiritual person. But I do also think that research is important and there’s so much research behind mindfulness meditation, the practice of meditation that I always And follow is mindfulness meditation. I completed Jon Kabat Zinn’s Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course, through Thomas Jefferson University and it was life changing. You know, bringing mindfulness into your day can be so helpful to help you to access what’s really going on. And you know, we both talked about the importance of awareness, right. So getting aware of what’s going on through mindfulness is very helpful.

Brandon Handley 43:26
You on your podcast, you have a really nice way of kind of putting, like mindfulness and meditation you feel free to share that here, right? Like, it’s not necessarily that your mind won’t be distracted it instead it will, is to bring it back. So share a little bit of that.

Unknown Speaker 43:42
Yeah, I see mindfulness and meditation as a training ground. So it’s literally like me going into training and I schedule it in and I’m like, Alright, this is where I train my mind because what happens in that space lasts. Like I said, there’s a lot of research around it, but the benefits of meditation last. So for me, I see it as a training. Round. And just like anything that you’re training and it takes practice, and it’s never going to be to a point where your mind is silent again, bring you back to we’re human. But it’s about the relationship that you have with your thoughts. So you’ll you know, be meditating, your thoughts come up, what is your relationship to them? And what are they showing you and maybe need to go off of the anchor of your breath, if that’s what it is, if your anchors your inhale and your exhale, and your body speaking to you and it’s like pain or uncomfortability or have this thought, you know, listen to me, then it’s kind of working with that and being like, yeah, body Yes, mind. Yes, divine guidance. What are you trying to show me? And that’s really where I explore myself and and then also ask for spiritual guidance to

Brandon Handley 44:42
follow that. Yeah, you’re right. We didn’t want to talk about too much. Meditation. The one thing that I learned through meditation, and he talked about unconditional love, right, which to me is kind of synonymous with don’t judge like non judgement, right? You’re paying attention to your body, but you’re not judging it, right? It’s like, hey, there’s it’s acknowledgment. But it’s not giving it a good or a bad week, right? Is that what you’re saying?

Unknown Speaker 45:10
Yeah, absolutely. I think through mindfulness comes it actually research has proven that empathy for others and empathy for yourself, which is the loving kindness and the self compassion,

Brandon Handley 45:21
the metta metta meditation, right? And here’s what I love about the metta meditation. We spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves. Yeah, right. And this is like an opportunity even like, I’ll pull out midday and do like a five minute metta meditation, so I can think of some other people and not think about my own shit. Right? And but but because that’s what we do, right? We think about all the stuff that we’ve got going on for ourselves. So if we can take just five minutes, give ourselves one minute in there, like all right, well, this this, if you’re not familiar with meditation, you know, explain the metta meditation real quick for somebody who’s never done it.

Unknown Speaker 45:56
Sure. So yeah, metta meditation is also known as loving kindness meditation. very accessible, you know, on apps or on YouTube, if you’d like I also have on on my website, it will guide you through a very incredible meditation where you are seeing others in front of you and sending them loving and kind words you also go typically back and forth between sending others loving and kind words, and then you’re self loving and kind words. And through that the state of the brain actually changes. And you can see benefits from that very quickly.

Brandon Handley 46:27
Yeah, no, it’s awesome. And I still remember my first rounds of meditation. I did it headspace. And then I didn’t do it for like two weeks. And then I was irritable as hell. And I tracked back I was like, What’s different? What’s what, what what, you know what I mean? Because I hadn’t done it. I was able to track it back to meditation. And I, I’m sure I missed the day here, there, but it’s part of my daily life. So if you’re an irritable Raji son of a bitch, want to try is meditate Where can we send people to go find you on all the things that you’re doing right now?

Unknown Speaker 47:11
I am a connector is I would love to connect to the guys chat more about this stuff. I definitely someone that is on Instagram a lot. You can find me at Marissa rose Nash, and my website is the well code.org. I’m also on Facebook at Marissa rose Nash or the welco by Marie rose, so feel free to reach out I do also offer a free 30 minute solo sessions where we explore limiting belief in one of the nine areas of wellness to help you get unstuck and find a little bit of freedom there.

Brandon Handley 47:43
Awesome. Well, hey, thanks a lot for stopping by today. Glad you took a chance

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Can you awaken yourself while playing with a Ouija board?

Stranger things have happened!

Join me today as I explore the role that spirituality has played in the life of Mona Loring.

Founder of the following:

Mona founded MLC PR, a boutique public relations firm specializing in tailored publicity services. MLC PR maintains a  broad spectrum of clientele ranging from award-winning TV, film and  Broadway actors; musicians and record labels and more.

Mona launched Conscious Living simply due to my own personal passion for the mind, body and spirit connection. There was a hole in the market that was able to connect these areas with mainstream press and manage the brands and individuals within them properly. 

In addition Mona has her own holistic life coaching practice integrated with shamanic healing.

Where to connect with Mona:

https://www.conscioushealingco.com/

https://www.instagram.com/healingbymona/

http://www.consciouslivingpr.com/

http://www.instagram.com/consciouslivingpr

Transcription by Otter.ai

  • user avatarbrandon handley00:00:01Hey there. I’ve never done an intro for spiritual dope. But this is it. This is the intro for spiritual dope and today I have with me, Mona Loring who is a she’s a PR
  • 00:00:14Well, you’re a founder right you own the business right you on a couple of PR businesses MLC pr, which is a boutique public relations firm specializing and tailored publicity services and, you know, one of the lines in this as I was checking it out. I loved it was a you’re talking about
  • 00:00:33The is the line because I loved it.
  • 00:00:37I know there it was with ability vigor and charisma. I just loved how you run your business and I thought that was an I love that.
  • 00:00:45And you also have conscious living pr, which is due to your own personal passion for the mind, body, and spirit connection you felt like there was a hole in the market that was able to connect these areas with mainstream press to manage the brands and individuals.
  • 00:01:01Within them properly. Right. Let’s chat a little bit about that one, and then
  • 00:01:06As if you didn’t have anything else to do with being a mother, first and foremost on top of all this, right, you’ve got this demonic energy work which you’ve got over here on conscious healing co where you do life coaching spiritual coaching energy work and all the things you
  • 00:01:25Think why don’t you know somebody, somebody like where do you find the time
  • 00:01:29And I think, you know, at least it is for me when when some of these things, you’re so passionate about. That’s what lights you up. That’s what gives you the energy to do it, you’re like, Oh, I get to go do that.
  • 00:01:40And you always you always hear people say, well, you got to change the I got to to I get to but you gotta change. Yeah, go to school, I get to so
  • 00:01:49Thanks for joining me today. This is like a power punch. What
  • 00:01:52Is something. What is something like we can celebrate for you. What’s a spiritual high. Let’s start off on a spiritual high. What’s this recently.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:02:01Spiritual high that I’ve had recently. That’s an interesting question. A spiritual I
  • 00:02:08I mean I feel like so many things are spiritual high I think anything going right as a spiritual. Hi, I’m the first thing that came to my mind. So I’m going to honor that was a client referring me to another client because they love what I’ve done for them.
  • 00:02:25That’s a spiritual high because it was for my my healing work. So it’s specifically that way to
  • 00:02:30I’m nothing feels better than someone thinking that you know you’ve helped them so much they want to have somebody else.
  • 00:02:39Be able to benefit from the work you do. Because, you know, again, we’ll get into, and I’m sure but
  • 00:02:43The reason I do the healing work is simply because I want to see other people heal because I know how rough life can be, you know, and so when someone saying, hey, can I give your information to a friend because you’ve helped me out so much like
  • 00:02:58That’s like the best time so I’m gonna go with that one.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:03:01Yeah, no, I love that. Right. I mean, I think that kind of validates the work that you do too. Right. You’re like, you’re like, Oh my gosh, I really am helping people up to the point where like they’ve got to tell their friends about me. Right.
  • 00:03:11Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:03:14I’ll celebrate those a spiritual high for sure. So here’s the premise. Right. The show’s premise podcast premise, whatever you want to call it.
  • 00:03:23Is, you know, finding people such as yourself that have out within unlike this calling to do so much more and giving some disregard to the the norm normal constraints right of, hey, this is how you do it. These are aligned you stay within these lines.
  • 00:03:39And to be okay.
  • 00:03:40You’re going to make through you’re going to make it through the end of life. You may not like knock it out, but you’re going to get there, fairly safe now what you’ve done is you said you know what, that’s not how I feel. This is a feel right.
  • 00:03:53I feel like I got to do this thing that’s within me, and it is outside alarms.
  • 00:03:58Now, number one, let’s talk about like you’re you’re deciding to honor that. And I think, on top of that in the role that you’ve got right like you you manage high profile people right and and then you got to be like, but my heart says this, let’s talk about
  • user avatarMona Loring00:04:16Well, I, there were so many different things. You said that was spawning different thoughts in my mind. But I mean, let’s start with just the fact that you started saying
  • 00:04:26You know, following your heart and and working outside of the norm and not having to necessarily stay within coloring within the lines, you know,
  • 00:04:34Um, that’s been an interesting experience for me, quite honestly, if I if I really look back my whole career in PR, at least, because
  • 00:04:44I started out teaching myself publicity and that’s at least back then, it was really unheard of, usually you would go get a job at a big PR firm, you’d intern for a while, and you’d be an assistant for years and then you’d move up.
  • 00:04:57And with me, I realized now. It was my calling. Because I just
  • 00:05:02Fell into it. You know, I had someone who said, hey, is the work you’re doing PR because I really need a publicist, and I said, No, I’m actually a journalist. That’s the opposite of PR and she said, that’s all right. Don’t worry about it. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out and
  • 00:05:13Keeping the job. And that’s how I actually started publicity. So it started from day one out of the norm. And when I track it back. I can literally just like look at the lines.
  • 00:05:24That just like you follow the lines. And it’s like, dot, dot, dot, put it all together. And it’s been Spirit just guiding me. You know what I mean, like those I’m looking at those like number of
  • 00:05:32Things that turn into a picture after a while, but you have no idea where you’re going at the beginning. Feels like that.
  • 00:05:36Yeah. And so really from the start. I never followed any rules and I really did. Just follow my instinct. I remember really early on.
  • 00:05:46Meeting with this one client and
  • 00:05:49He felt like I was BS in him because he was like, how do you know the answer to how you would do this when you’re telling me honestly that you’ve only done PR for six months and you’re painting your publicist, but you’re and I’m like,
  • 00:06:02I go with my gut and he was like that just feels like BS. And I was like, that’s the furthest thing from me, you know. I just know what I should be doing for you, you know, um, I think that I’ve just always followed what feels good.
  • 00:06:16And if something felt really wrong. I looked at it, you know, was it my own fear was it wrong because it really isn’t right for me, whatever that may be. And
  • 00:06:27If I felt like it’s just really not right for me and I let it go.
  • 00:06:31And that’s kind of been the progression with my talent agency of just letting things go that we’re feeling forced or not right for me.
  • 00:06:38I don’t care how big of an A Lister you are. I don’t care what you’ve done. If you’re not a good person. If you don’t light me up if I don’t get excited working on you.
  • 00:06:47Know amount of money, no amount of cloud means anything to me, and people are starting to become more and more like that. I definitely have colleagues that think like that, that I was in my world. I felt like I was the only one at the beginning when
  • 00:07:00You know, I shifted everything over. And I started conscious living and I caught my talentless down and people thought it was nuts. They were like, okay, the scrolls cracking up she’s
  • 00:07:08Letting go of these people that she’s worked on for so long and they’re finally at this level and
  • 00:07:12She’s starting some hippy dippy PR
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:07:15Firm, you know peace man hope everyone
  • user avatarMona Loring00:07:18But it’s what I knew would light me up. I did feel like I had a hole in my heart. I felt like, you know, I’m doing all of this work right now and I didn’t feel
  • 00:07:30It’s weird because I didn’t feel appreciated. But it wasn’t appreciation. I was looking for. It was like that fulfillment. I didn’t feel fulfilled right and
  • 00:07:39So when I started conscious living it definitely had a hiccups. It wasn’t just like smooth sailing took a while to really get that running
  • 00:07:48But at the end of the day, it just feels so right that I have both because I feel like I
  • 00:07:55Am really great at doing the talent PR. It just, I get it, I can do it in my sleep. I know what people want. And I’ve learned over the years that being intuitive doesn’t hurt NPR, you know, you really can be one step ahead of things.
  • 00:08:08Um, but it’s I just feel like anytime you feel like you need to stay within the confines of what you’re expected to do. I’m trying to go back to your, to your original question, you know.
  • 00:08:23you limit yourself and I just feel like this week. I feel like we’ve had this conversation before were truly humans are pretty unlimited, you know, at the end of the day, like we really don’t have any limits, other than what we set ourselves energy is limitless, you know,
  • 00:08:39We’re all energy then we’re technically. All right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:08:42Yeah yeah yeah like I mean when you when you kind of when you when you boil it down even even like your whole body is
  • 00:08:51Some type of energy, right, like, and so the end of the day, like when you when you like I’ll catch myself. Anyways, I say this myself like well I feel a little tired feel around. I’m like, wait a second. I am literally energy and I just like I boost myself right
  • user avatarMona Loring00:09:07A really good way to tell myself that makes me feel
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:09:10Right, like and and
  • 00:09:12Yeah, truly limitless. But, I mean, I think I, I love, I love how you kind of view.
  • 00:09:18You took a conscious living stand right you said and you let go of some people you broke out of a scarcity mindset, right.
  • 00:09:27Was that an intentional thought then or is that something where you look back now. We’re like, you know what, and I also think about this other one from Jim Rome, like you focused on the few that were meaningful right and they
  • 00:09:39Are the ones that kind of lowers the most they’re the ones that fulfilled you they’re the ones that
  • 00:09:44Were honor your time and appreciate your time and, you know, kind of like a pretty flower garden or something, man. You know what I mean, just like that.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:09:53That’s
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:09:53Kind of how it worked out.
  • 00:09:54Right, yeah, once you let go over, like all the shade throwers
  • user avatarMona Loring00:10:00Another yeah yeah
  • 00:10:02And you know, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna. I don’t want to. What’s the I don’t WANT to hate on I hate. I don’t like that term, but I’m gonna use it again think of something else right now.
  • 00:10:10Right. But I don’t WANT to hate on anybody that I had let go. In the past, but I would. It would be so sad for them to look back on this and feel rejected by me or
  • 00:10:18Feel like I’m more than I think I’m better than them or anything.
  • 00:10:21Sometimes it’s not even that you’re bad people. I saw this post the other day and it was so true.
  • 00:10:26Sometimes it’s not that you know the relationship you broke up with that person’s a bad person, or, you know, if you let go of an employee that they’re a bad employee. Sometimes you just
  • 00:10:36Don’t have that chemistry, you’re not right for each other. You’re not supposed to be on the past with each other, you know, and it goes into that other saying you’re either a blessing, our lesson.
  • 00:10:45And if you either. Wait. First of all, something turns out
  • 00:10:48Back. It could be a blessing or less than either way. Right.
  • 00:10:51And it doesn’t mean that these people that I have let go, you know, when I’m hearing this, in my mind, I’m like, no, it’s not that they were all. Some of them are
  • 00:11:00All bad right it
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:11:01Should
  • user avatarMona Loring00:11:02Feel right they were the ones where I was like, you know, I feel like you have somebody else that needs to be in charge of your PR career. It’s
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:11:09not you, it’s me. Yeah, there’s a reason why it’s the same people who are totally nervous about confronting people
  • user avatarMona Loring00:11:17But that’s not me know genuinely though. You know what I mean, like,
  • 00:11:21I look back and I there’s people that I let go of or you know that I’ve been let go from that.
  • 00:11:29I root for them still to this day I’m fans of theirs. They’re wonderful people they’re brilliant actors, but
  • 00:11:34They weren’t for me.
  • 00:11:35They’re not supposed to be on my path, you know,
  • 00:11:37And letting that go
  • 00:11:39And having that open up the space that’s something I try to teach my clients and my energy clients. I’ll specify which
  • 00:11:48You know, you have got to let
  • 00:11:51Negativity and energy that’s draining you that’s not positive in your system. Go and allow room for more so, so many people are like, why can I manifest this, why can I have this. I’ve been working so far for
  • 00:12:04X y AMP z and I can’t get it and it’s like, well, what do you, what do you need to let go of first room here.
  • 00:12:11So you know if its energy than things fill up right and I seen on people’s energy bodies and a lot of times when people are looking to manifest. I will see places where they need to let go of something and certain chakra, for example.
  • 00:12:27And we let that go and put light in. And that light can then be the energy to magnetically pull. What you want to you.
  • 00:12:35But if you’re if you’re holding in that that dark that you think that it would magnetically pull anything you know if anything is going to pull you think opposites attract, it doesn’t work that way.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:12:48Well, you know, a
  • 00:12:52The whole letting go thing, right, because people are afraid to let go of of this in so many different like the energy they built up everything.
  • 00:13:02everything they’ve done to get to this point to Scott them so tense. They want to hold on to that, like, Oh, I gotta keep all of this, whereas like Manny. I’m going to just need to let go. Some of this shit and once like it’s like breathing out right like when you take a deep breath.
  • 00:13:17It’s actually when you breathe out that you actually feel better, not everything you take in. It’s like
  • 00:13:21I’m like over like super tense and we let it out like wow I just relax when I let it out.
  • 00:13:27So, so I mean I liken it to that. Right. So you’re just saying
  • 00:13:33What so. All right, so you you jump over into, like, you know, this conscious living aspect and you know was there fear in doing that or did you do it gradually
  • 00:13:45It was a. Was it a full immersion and talk to us a little bit about like kind of transitioning or adding it into your life and what that was like.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:13:53So, it
  • 00:13:55Very few things in my life were a slow transition. It’s just not how I work. I’m can’t say that that’s necessarily right for everybody, but it’s just how I am so
  • 00:14:06I had, in a way, felt it coming in, you know, over the past six months before I started conscious living that
  • 00:14:13Something was missing. I didn’t feel fulfilled, of course, those feelings were there, but I didn’t know
  • 00:14:17What I needed to do from that because I knew at the end of the day, I still love talent PR, but I don’t always love it. What’s going on, and it was just that I needed another element right
  • 00:14:25And so when I decided to do it. I was just literally it was Labor Day weekend and I was meditating on a beach on the Central Coast and I was just like,
  • 00:14:35What do I need to know what do I need to do. Why do I feel like this. Why do I feel lost
  • 00:14:40Everything like, you know, they always say, you know, if you if you just look back at what you had always wanted. And you realize that you have it now, you would have been so happy, you know, and
  • 00:14:49I realized that I was like, I literally have the clients of my dreams I have money I have employees. I have, you know, I want for nothing. Technically, but that’s material. Sure.
  • 00:14:59And what does that really right. So I got the download like started another company don’t have to let anything go, you just want more start a company and I didn’t get the name, but it was along the lines of, I knew it was like conscious or something about life and
  • 00:15:15I knew that I needed to start something with mind body spirit work. I knew I wanted to be involved with people who had that same mindset. And I also knew that there was a shift happening.
  • 00:15:27That would create a space where those people needed to be promoted, you know, so when I decided to do it. I kid you not, I built that website all on my home one weekend and I hired an employee to come work with me. Within a week and we have clients within I’m gonna say two weeks.
  • 00:15:47And like I said it wasn’t completely smooth sailing. If you know things happen.
  • 00:15:51But I got it up pretty quickly. So it was definitely not really a transition period.
  • 00:15:57And I you know I wrote an email to all my existing clients and
  • 00:16:01You know, I just, I thank them for being amazing I told them, you might start hearing things about me because I’m dropping other clients. And people might think I’ve cracked up but
  • 00:16:10You know, I’m still me. I’m still who I am. If anything, I’m just, I feel like I understand things more clear. And I’m more clarity and of course the right people I embrace it with open arms and they were gracious and said, you know, thanks for believing in me back and
  • 00:16:25It was awesome. So I just felt completely right, as it all developed
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:16:29I love it, I love it. Would you would you be able to say like any specific kind of like awakening moment, would you consider that the awakening moment or would you consider something else.
  • 00:16:42Kind of an epiphany moment where you said, Hey, I’m tapped into spirituality like super strong.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:16:50You know, I wondered about awakening moments because I see other people’s mine was really hardcore and out of nowhere and at a pretty young age.
  • 00:17:03So it’s hard to compare it to other things later in life that have sort of reawakens me. But if I had to kind of track my costs, it would be. I always laugh because I can’t believe this is what did it, but it was literally a leaderboard. I’m like,
  • 00:17:22Oh my god, really. But, um, I got the leaderboard, I think it was for my 13th birthday. It was like eighth grade or something and played it with some friends, you know, and you start to think like, oh, just pushing it. Laughing You know which boy like to. And, you know, all those things.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:17:40Right.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:17:41And then it started to I would have the board away and I haven’t tucked away and then I started to
  • 00:17:47Hear things and feel things and and that was like it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was very strange and
  • 00:17:54I realized that I could see energy and I was aware of things. And I could feel I’m very attuned to vibration
  • 00:18:02And so I could feel the energy of like a bed or a table and kind of buzzing, and it was very strange and it scared me a lot.
  • 00:18:11And you know, when you’re a kid, especially when you haven’t been educated and there’s nothing online. There’s no such thing as the Internet really at that age. I don’t think it was around even maybe just a while was just starting
  • 00:18:25And
  • 00:18:27Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:18:28Yeah, I didn’t know how to look into any of it. You got mail. I didn’t want to look into any of it. And so I just
  • user avatarMona Loring00:18:36Looking back, it’s kind of cool because I had to just experience everything on my own and everything that Spirit told me
  • 00:18:43That I had told my friends, I have some friends that knew me then that still know me now. And they’re like, How did you know that. How did you know it’s trippy stuff.
  • 00:18:51Um, but of course I do wish at times like I could go to my mom, who was really spiritual or something. And she’d be like, he’s like, my son, he’s very spiritual and I’ll ask me things. And I’m like, Oh, I got you. This is why or whatever, you know,
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:19:03So, your mom is pretty spiritual into that space as well.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:19:06Mom is is very spiritual, but she was not she was a little bit more, a little bit more religious and spiritual. She had a Muslim faith and now she’s
  • 00:19:16A lot more spiritual and not really religious but no she she would tell me things like, I see God is a light and it’s not a person and like she would give me, things like that. Um, but
  • 00:19:29No, I had no idea this was going on. I actually came up to my parents late about how my spiritual work you know came around, like I just told them this past year I had friends that you, you know, definitely.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:19:42There’s like
  • user avatarMona Loring00:19:43terrified about like
  • 00:19:45judging me and wondering like,
  • 00:19:47Sure. My daughter is crazy, but the but it was hilarious. When I finally told them, they’re like, read me it was like hilarious. It was
  • 00:19:55Awesome.
  • 00:19:57That’s great. Um,
  • 00:19:58But the problem I had during my spiritual awakening was that
  • 00:20:06I didn’t know the difference between dark and light. And I didn’t. I also didn’t know what I know now, have you need dark for life and it’s all about the balance and that’s okay.
  • 00:20:18And it’s not only if you’re only going to light and you only deal with the light
  • 00:20:22You’re leaving some shadows and work that you really need to face behind to life is about balance, you know,
  • 00:20:28And so when I was younger. It scared me because all I knew were things that you hear in books or see in movies, right, and you
  • 00:20:37I was like, Are these ghosts. Are these, like, is this demons and I was thinking that that. And so I was just bringing over more darkness and it was freaking me out, you know,
  • 00:20:46So I put it aside after high school because it was really so consuming. You know, I remember look back and I will remember being in like Spanish class.
  • 00:20:56And automatic writing you know just literally just having spirit go through me and just automatic writing. I can’t remember. I wish I’d kept those things.
  • 00:21:06You know, just writing what Spirit wants me to know and telling me things about my friends and their souls and their soul growth and it was very big on souls and soul growth and
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:21:17Do you feel like you’d be able to tap into that like anytime now.
  • 00:21:21Yeah.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:21:24I, for some reason, and of course it’s come up with a lot of the medium ship work I’ve done and then the courses. I’ve taken and I’m you know I have friends. You and I have one in common.
  • 00:21:36That can let spirit kind of
  • 00:21:39Come really close or within and kind of speaker, but I think because of the past that I had and the lack of control and when I know now that this is all energy and it’s all about control and I just want a positive light. And I want it the way I want, I don’t want to go there.
  • 00:21:55Um, but I know for a fact that I could
  • 00:21:59Probably channel things pretty easily. I just, it’s not what I’m doing what I do.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:22:04Sure. No, I get it. I always I like and I like in this kind of what you’re talking about there. The energy kind of flowing through you uncontrolled on unbidden, as it were, right, because you don’t, you’re not you’re not kind of expecting it. But then it shows up the way that it did for you.
  • 00:22:21I liken it to like anime right like because there’s always some like crazy guy that’s got like all this energy coming through his eyes like
  • 00:22:29Blowing everything up and it’s not until he finds this mastery find somebody you can talk to is like hey, you gotta figure
  • user avatarMona Loring00:22:35Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:22:36You gotta figure this out. And then it becomes like this ultra powerful dude that’s got like a few special power moves right like your intuition and like you know like your sham and and like some of this other stuff.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:22:48It’s I’m laughing as you say that because I was just telling my son, he was begging me to play the new Star Wars game with them.
  • 00:22:56And he’s like, Mom, I just think you like it. They speak your language and
  • 00:22:59I have to meditate and recharge and and I as I started playing it with him and I started to see Star Wars in a different light which I’ve seen it this way, way sooner but it’s it’s so amazing to me how Sci Fi is based on so much truth and based on how things really work.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:23:17You know,
  • 00:23:18Behind the Star Wars. Right.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:23:20Which
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:00:06Hey,
  • user avatarMona Loring00:00:07Hey,
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:00:08How are you
  • user avatarMona Loring00:00:09I’m good, how are you
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:00:10I’m doing well well enough for
  • 00:00:13mid May covert mid May right
  • 00:00:17How you doing today.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:00:18Oh babe in May.
  • 00:00:21I’ve been just working slowly but surely today and all going well. So, can’t complain.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:00:28Nice.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:00:29I hear so many people that are just out of work. So it’s like to even have work to do. I’m like,
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:00:34Right, right. Like, I mean, I can’t
  • 00:00:38I don’t know. I can’t imagine like trying to think about being out of work and trying to find work during all this stuff right
  • 00:00:47It was it was
  • user avatarMona Loring00:00:48Rough yeah
  • 00:00:49Yeah, nobody knows what they’re gonna do next. And I think that’s all part of this, though. We just have to lean into it.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:00:56And he’s got a lot of cool stuffs gonna happen. Right. I mean, a lot of cool stuffs gonna happen just a, you know, kind of, gotta just like you said, lean into it and
  • 00:01:05Do it right. Well, what else, what else, what else can you do right just
  • 00:01:09And look, there’s the there’s going to be moments of pain and whatever. But that’s all theoretical growth if that’s what you’re into.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:01:20A true
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:01:21Right, right. Well, so look I’m super excited. Do this. Thank you. Thanks for hopping on
  • 00:01:27You know, there’s so much we can chat about and and we will so
  • 00:01:35I’m gonna, you know, kind of do an intro on you and
  • 00:01:39I’m going to kind of bounce around your three or three different things, right.
  • 00:01:43There enough
  • 00:01:44Because I could forget something else in mind.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:01:46I’m gonna go with your flow. I’m good.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:01:50All right, well, you asked for.
  • 00:02:00Hey there. I’ve never done an intro for spiritual dope. But this is it. This is the intro for spiritual dope and today I have with me, Mona Loring who is a she’s a PR
  • 00:02:13Well, you’re a founder right you own the business right you on a couple of PR businesses MLC pr, which is a boutique public relations firm specializing and tailored publicity services and, you know, one of the lines in this as I was checking it out. I loved it was a you’re talking about
  • 00:02:32The is the line because I loved it.
  • 00:02:36I know there it was with ability vigor and charisma. I just loved how you run your business and I thought that was an I love that.
  • 00:02:44And you also have conscious living pr, which is due to your own personal passion for the mind, body, and spirit connection you felt like there was a hole in the market that was able to connect these areas with mainstream press to manage the brands and individuals.
  • 00:03:00Within them properly. Right. Let’s chat a little bit about that one, and then
  • 00:03:05As if you didn’t have anything else to do with being a mother, first and foremost on top of all this, right, you’ve got this demonic energy work which you’ve got over here on conscious healing co where you do life coaching spiritual coaching energy work and all the things you
  • 00:03:24Think why don’t you know somebody, somebody like where do you find the time
  • 00:03:28And I think, you know, at least it is for me when when some of these things, you’re so passionate about. That’s what lights you up. That’s what gives you the energy to do it, you’re like, Oh, I get to go do that.
  • 00:03:48Thanks for joining me today. This is like a power punch. What
  • 00:03:51Is something. What is something like we can celebrate for you. What’s a spiritual high. Let’s start off on a spiritual high. What’s this recently.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:04:00Spiritual high that I’ve had recently. That’s an interesting question. A spiritual I
  • 00:04:07I mean I feel like so many things are spiritual high I think anything going right as a spiritual. Hi, I’m the first thing that came to my mind. So I’m going to honor that was a client referring me to another client because they love what I’ve done for them.
  • 00:04:24That’s a spiritual high because it was for my my healing work. So it’s specifically that way to
  • 00:04:29I’m nothing feels better than someone thinking that you know you’ve helped them so much they want to have somebody else.
  • 00:04:38Be able to benefit from the work you do. Because, you know, again, we’ll get into, and I’m sure but
  • 00:04:42The reason I do the healing work is simply because I want to see other people heal because I know how rough life can be, you know, and so when someone saying, hey, can I give your information to a friend because you’ve helped me out so much like
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:05:00Yeah, no, I love that. Right. I mean, I think that kind of validates the work that you do too. Right. You’re like, you’re like, Oh my gosh, I really am helping people up to the point where like they’ve got to tell their friends about me. Right.
  • 00:05:10Yeah.
  • 00:05:22Is, you know, finding people such as yourself that have out within unlike this calling to do so much more and giving some disregard to the the norm normal constraints right of, hey, this is how you do it. These are aligned you stay within these lines.
  • 00:05:38And to be okay.
  • 00:05:39You’re going to make through you’re going to make it through the end of life. You may not like knock it out, but you’re going to get there, fairly safe now what you’ve done is you said you know what, that’s not how I feel. This is a feel right.
  • 00:05:52I feel like I got to do this thing that’s within me, and it is outside alarms.
  • 00:05:57Now, number one, let’s talk about like you’re you’re deciding to honor that. And I think, on top of that in the role that you’ve got right like you you manage high profile people right and and then you got to be like, but my heart says this, let’s talk about
  • user avatarMona Loring00:06:15Well, I, there were so many different things. You said that was spawning different thoughts in my mind. But I mean, let’s start with just the fact that you started saying
  • 00:06:25You know, following your heart and and working outside of the norm and not having to necessarily stay within coloring within the lines, you know,
  • 00:06:33Um, that’s been an interesting experience for me, quite honestly, if I if I really look back my whole career in PR, at least, because
  • 00:06:43I started out teaching myself publicity and that’s at least back then, it was really unheard of, usually you would go get a job at a big PR firm, you’d intern for a while, and you’d be an assistant for years and then you’d move up.
  • 00:06:56And with me, I realized now. It was my calling. Because I just
  • 00:07:01Fell into it. You know, I had someone who said, hey, is the work you’re doing PR because I really need a publicist, and I said, No, I’m actually a journalist. That’s the opposite of PR and she said, that’s all right. Don’t worry about it. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out and
  • 00:07:23That just like you follow the lines. And it’s like, dot, dot, dot, put it all together. And it’s been Spirit just guiding me. You know what I mean, like those I’m looking at those like number of
  • 00:07:31Things that turn into a picture after a while, but you have no idea where you’re going at the beginning. Feels like that.
  • 00:07:35Yeah. And so really from the start. I never followed any rules and I really did. Just follow my instinct. I remember really early on.
  • 00:07:45Meeting with this one client and
  • 00:08:01I go with my gut and he was like that just feels like BS. And I was like, that’s the furthest thing from me, you know. I just know what I should be doing for you, you know, um, I think that I’ve just always followed what feels good.
  • 00:08:15And if something felt really wrong. I looked at it, you know, was it my own fear was it wrong because it really isn’t right for me, whatever that may be. And
  • 00:08:26If I felt like it’s just really not right for me and I let it go.
  • 00:08:30And that’s kind of been the progression with my talent agency of just letting things go that we’re feeling forced or not right for me.
  • 00:08:37I don’t care how big of an A Lister you are. I don’t care what you’ve done. If you’re not a good person. If you don’t light me up if I don’t get excited working on you.
  • 00:08:46Know amount of money, no amount of cloud means anything to me, and people are starting to become more and more like that. I definitely have colleagues that think like that, that I was in my world. I felt like I was the only one at the beginning when
  • 00:08:59You know, I shifted everything over. And I started conscious living and I caught my talentless down and people thought it was nuts. They were like, okay, the scrolls cracking up she’s
  • 00:09:11She’s starting some hippy dippy PR
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:09:14Firm, you know peace man hope everyone
  • user avatarMona Loring00:09:17But it’s what I knew would light me up. I did feel like I had a hole in my heart. I felt like, you know, I’m doing all of this work right now and I didn’t feel
  • 00:09:29It’s weird because I didn’t feel appreciated. But it wasn’t appreciation. I was looking for. It was like that fulfillment. I didn’t feel fulfilled right and
  • 00:09:38So when I started conscious living it definitely had a hiccups. It wasn’t just like smooth sailing took a while to really get that running
  • 00:09:47But at the end of the day, it just feels so right that I have both because I feel like I
  • 00:10:07Um, but it’s I just feel like anytime you feel like you need to stay within the confines of what you’re expected to do. I’m trying to go back to your, to your original question, you know.
  • 00:10:22you limit yourself and I just feel like this week. I feel like we’ve had this conversation before were truly humans are pretty unlimited, you know, at the end of the day, like we really don’t have any limits, other than what we set ourselves energy is limitless, you know,
  • 00:10:38We’re all energy then we’re technically. All right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:10:41Yeah yeah yeah like I mean when you when you kind of when you when you boil it down even even like your whole body is
  • 00:10:50Some type of energy, right, like, and so the end of the day, like when you when you like I’ll catch myself. Anyways, I say this myself like well I feel a little tired feel around. I’m like, wait a second. I am literally energy and I just like I boost myself right
  • user avatarMona Loring00:11:06A really good way to tell myself that makes me feel
  • 00:11:11Yeah, truly limitless. But, I mean, I think I, I love, I love how you kind of view.
  • 00:11:26Was that an intentional thought then or is that something where you look back now. We’re like, you know what, and I also think about this other one from Jim Rome, like you focused on the few that were meaningful right and they
  • 00:11:38Are the ones that kind of lowers the most they’re the ones that fulfilled you they’re the ones that
  • 00:11:43Were honor your time and appreciate your time and, you know, kind of like a pretty flower garden or something, man. You know what I mean, just like that.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:11:52That’s
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:11:52Kind of how it worked out.
  • 00:11:53Right, yeah, once you let go over, like all the shade throwers
  • user avatarMona Loring00:11:59Another yeah yeah
  • 00:12:01And you know, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna. I don’t want to. What’s the I don’t WANT to hate on I hate. I don’t like that term, but I’m gonna use it again think of something else right now.
  • 00:12:09Right. But I don’t WANT to hate on anybody that I had let go. In the past, but I would. It would be so sad for them to look back on this and feel rejected by me or
  • 00:12:17Feel like I’m more than I think I’m better than them or anything.
  • 00:12:20Sometimes it’s not even that you’re bad people. I saw this post the other day and it was so true.
  • 00:12:25Sometimes it’s not that you know the relationship you broke up with that person’s a bad person, or, you know, if you let go of an employee that they’re a bad employee. Sometimes you just
  • 00:12:44And if you either. Wait. First of all, something turns out
  • 00:12:47Back. It could be a blessing or less than either way. Right.
  • 00:12:50And it doesn’t mean that these people that I have let go, you know, when I’m hearing this, in my mind, I’m like, no, it’s not that they were all. Some of them are
  • 00:12:59All bad right it
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:13:00Should
  • user avatarMona Loring00:13:01Feel right they were the ones where I was like, you know, I feel like you have somebody else that needs to be in charge of your PR career. It’s
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:13:08not you, it’s me. Yeah, there’s a reason why it’s the same people who are totally nervous about confronting people
  • user avatarMona Loring00:13:16But that’s not me know genuinely though. You know what I mean, like,
  • 00:13:20I look back and I there’s people that I let go of or you know that I’ve been let go from that.
  • 00:13:28I root for them still to this day I’m fans of theirs. They’re wonderful people they’re brilliant actors, but
  • 00:13:34They’re not supposed to be on my path, you know,
  • 00:13:36And letting that go
  • 00:13:38And having that open up the space that’s something I try to teach my clients and my energy clients. I’ll specify which
  • 00:13:47You know, you have got to let
  • 00:13:50Negativity and energy that’s draining you that’s not positive in your system. Go and allow room for more so, so many people are like, why can I manifest this, why can I have this. I’ve been working so far for
  • 00:14:03X y AMP z and I can’t get it and it’s like, well, what do you, what do you need to let go of first room here.
  • 00:14:10So you know if its energy than things fill up right and I seen on people’s energy bodies and a lot of times when people are looking to manifest. I will see places where they need to let go of something and certain chakra, for example.
  • 00:14:26And we let that go and put light in. And that light can then be the energy to magnetically pull. What you want to you.
  • 00:14:34But if you’re if you’re holding in that that dark that you think that it would magnetically pull anything you know if anything is going to pull you think opposites attract, it doesn’t work that way.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:14:47Well, you know, a
  • 00:14:51The whole letting go thing, right, because people are afraid to let go of of this in so many different like the energy they built up everything.
  • 00:15:01everything they’ve done to get to this point to Scott them so tense. They want to hold on to that, like, Oh, I gotta keep all of this, whereas like Manny. I’m going to just need to let go. Some of this shit and once like it’s like breathing out right like when you take a deep breath.
  • 00:15:16It’s actually when you breathe out that you actually feel better, not everything you take in. It’s like
  • 00:15:20I’m like over like super tense and we let it out like wow I just relax when I let it out.
  • 00:15:26So, so I mean I liken it to that. Right. So you’re just saying
  • 00:15:32What so. All right, so you you jump over into, like, you know, this conscious living aspect and you know was there fear in doing that or did you do it gradually
  • 00:15:44It was a. Was it a full immersion and talk to us a little bit about like kind of transitioning or adding it into your life and what that was like.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:15:52So, it
  • 00:15:54Very few things in my life were a slow transition. It’s just not how I work. I’m can’t say that that’s necessarily right for everybody, but it’s just how I am so
  • 00:16:05I had, in a way, felt it coming in, you know, over the past six months before I started conscious living that
  • 00:16:12Something was missing. I didn’t feel fulfilled, of course, those feelings were there, but I didn’t know
  • 00:16:16What I needed to do from that because I knew at the end of the day, I still love talent PR, but I don’t always love it. What’s going on, and it was just that I needed another element right
  • 00:16:24And so when I decided to do it. I was just literally it was Labor Day weekend and I was meditating on a beach on the Central Coast and I was just like,
  • 00:16:34What do I need to know what do I need to do. Why do I feel like this. Why do I feel lost
  • 00:16:39Everything like, you know, they always say, you know, if you if you just look back at what you had always wanted. And you realize that you have it now, you would have been so happy, you know, and
  • 00:16:48I realized that I was like, I literally have the clients of my dreams I have money I have employees. I have, you know, I want for nothing. Technically, but that’s material. Sure.
  • 00:16:58And what does that really right. So I got the download like started another company don’t have to let anything go, you just want more start a company and I didn’t get the name, but it was along the lines of, I knew it was like conscious or something about life and
  • 00:17:14I knew that I needed to start something with mind body spirit work. I knew I wanted to be involved with people who had that same mindset. And I also knew that there was a shift happening.
  • 00:17:26That would create a space where those people needed to be promoted, you know, so when I decided to do it. I kid you not, I built that website all on my home one weekend and I hired an employee to come work with me. Within a week and we have clients within I’m gonna say two weeks.
  • 00:17:46And like I said it wasn’t completely smooth sailing. If you know things happen.
  • 00:17:50But I got it up pretty quickly. So it was definitely not really a transition period.
  • 00:17:56And I you know I wrote an email to all my existing clients and
  • 00:18:00You know, I just, I thank them for being amazing I told them, you might start hearing things about me because I’m dropping other clients. And people might think I’ve cracked up but
  • 00:18:09You know, I’m still me. I’m still who I am. If anything, I’m just, I feel like I understand things more clear. And I’m more clarity and of course the right people I embrace it with open arms and they were gracious and said, you know, thanks for believing in me back and
  • 00:18:24It was awesome. So I just felt completely right, as it all developed
  • 00:18:41Kind of an epiphany moment where you said, Hey, I’m tapped into spirituality like super strong.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:18:49You know, I wondered about awakening moments because I see other people’s mine was really hardcore and out of nowhere and at a pretty young age.
  • 00:19:02So it’s hard to compare it to other things later in life that have sort of reawakens me. But if I had to kind of track my costs, it would be. I always laugh because I can’t believe this is what did it, but it was literally a leaderboard. I’m like,
  • 00:19:21Oh my god, really. But, um, I got the leaderboard, I think it was for my 13th birthday. It was like eighth grade or something and played it with some friends, you know, and you start to think like, oh, just pushing it. Laughing You know which boy like to. And, you know, all those things.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:19:39Right.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:19:40And then it started to I would have the board away and I haven’t tucked away and then I started to
  • 00:19:46Hear things and feel things and and that was like it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was very strange and
  • 00:19:53I realized that I could see energy and I was aware of things. And I could feel I’m very attuned to vibration
  • 00:20:01And so I could feel the energy of like a bed or a table and kind of buzzing, and it was very strange and it scared me a lot.
  • 00:20:10And you know, when you’re a kid, especially when you haven’t been educated and there’s nothing online. There’s no such thing as the Internet really at that age. I don’t think it was around even maybe just a while was just starting
  • 00:20:24And
  • 00:20:26Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:20:27Yeah, I didn’t know how to look into any of it. You got mail. I didn’t want to look into any of it. And so I just
  • user avatarMona Loring00:20:35Looking back, it’s kind of cool because I had to just experience everything on my own and everything that Spirit told me
  • 00:20:42That I had told my friends, I have some friends that knew me then that still know me now. And they’re like, How did you know that. How did you know it’s trippy stuff.
  • 00:20:50Um, but of course I do wish at times like I could go to my mom, who was really spiritual or something. And she’d be like, he’s like, my son, he’s very spiritual and I’ll ask me things. And I’m like, Oh, I got you. This is why or whatever, you know,
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:21:02So, your mom is pretty spiritual into that space as well.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:21:05Mom is is very spiritual, but she was not she was a little bit more, a little bit more religious and spiritual. She had a Muslim faith and now she’s
  • 00:21:15A lot more spiritual and not really religious but no she she would tell me things like, I see God is a light and it’s not a person and like she would give me, things like that. Um, but
  • 00:21:28No, I had no idea this was going on. I actually came up to my parents late about how my spiritual work you know came around, like I just told them this past year I had friends that you, you know, definitely.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:21:41There’s like
  • user avatarMona Loring00:21:42terrified about like
  • 00:21:44judging me and wondering like,
  • 00:21:46Sure. My daughter is crazy, but the but it was hilarious. When I finally told them, they’re like, read me it was like hilarious. It was
  • 00:21:54Awesome.
  • 00:21:56That’s great. Um,
  • 00:21:57But the problem I had during my spiritual awakening was that
  • 00:22:05I didn’t know the difference between dark and light. And I didn’t. I also didn’t know what I know now, have you need dark for life and it’s all about the balance and that’s okay.
  • 00:22:17And it’s not only if you’re only going to light and you only deal with the light
  • 00:22:27And so when I was younger. It scared me because all I knew were things that you hear in books or see in movies, right, and you
  • 00:22:45So I put it aside after high school because it was really so consuming. You know, I remember look back and I will remember being in like Spanish class.
  • 00:22:55And automatic writing you know just literally just having spirit go through me and just automatic writing. I can’t remember. I wish I’d kept those things.
  • 00:23:05You know, just writing what Spirit wants me to know and telling me things about my friends and their souls and their soul growth and it was very big on souls and soul growth and
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:23:16Do you feel like you’d be able to tap into that like anytime now.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:23:23I, for some reason, and of course it’s come up with a lot of the medium ship work I’ve done and then the courses. I’ve taken and I’m you know I have friends. You and I have one in common.
  • 00:23:35That can let spirit kind of
  • 00:23:38Come really close or within and kind of speaker, but I think because of the past that I had and the lack of control and when I know now that this is all energy and it’s all about control and I just want a positive light. And I want it the way I want, I don’t want to go there.
  • 00:23:54Um, but I know for a fact that I could
  • 00:23:58Probably channel things pretty easily. I just, it’s not what I’m doing what I do.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:24:03Sure. No, I get it. I always I like and I like in this kind of what you’re talking about there. The energy kind of flowing through you uncontrolled on unbidden, as it were, right, because you don’t, you’re not you’re not kind of expecting it. But then it shows up the way that it did for you.
  • 00:24:20I liken it to like anime right like because there’s always some like crazy guy that’s got like all this energy coming through his eyes like
  • 00:24:28Blowing everything up and it’s not until he finds this mastery find somebody you can talk to is like hey, you gotta figure
  • user avatarMona Loring00:24:34Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:24:35You gotta figure this out. And then it becomes like this ultra powerful dude that’s got like a few special power moves right like your intuition and like you know like your sham and and like some of this other stuff.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:24:47It’s I’m laughing as you say that because I was just telling my son, he was begging me to play the new Star Wars game with them.
  • 00:24:55And he’s like, Mom, I just think you like it. They speak your language and
  • 00:24:58I have to meditate and recharge and and I as I started playing it with him and I started to see Star Wars in a different light which I’ve seen it this way, way sooner but it’s it’s so amazing to me how Sci Fi is based on so much truth and based on how things really work.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:25:16You know,
  • 00:25:17Behind the Star Wars. Right.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:25:19Which
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:25:19Were you Joseph Campbell, right, like the whole his
  • user avatarMona Loring00:25:23So just, okay, yes, yes, yes, yes.
  • 00:25:25But I look
  • 00:25:26What was he did he, what do you mean, kind of, in what way.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:25:29Well, so
  • 00:25:31There is no George Lucas based pretty much the whole premise.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:25:34I was wondering if somehow either involvement. Okay.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:25:37Yeah, so I know that for a very long time, actually the hero’s journey like
  • user avatarMona Loring00:25:42I know
  • 00:25:43Now the the connection to Star Wars and not until I don’t even know last year. Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:25:49Well, so, so I you know probably vaguely heard about it not heard about like the hero’s journey, a couple of times. And it wasn’t until I watched that, you know, PBS special that they have on Netflix with with him and like
  • 00:26:02He’s so awesome. I’m like, like, you know, there’s so many great people that hit dead. I’m like, so pissed. Like, you know,
  • 00:26:09Going back like Wayne Dyer Alan Watts and and like you know just so can we like what
  • 00:26:15You guys could you couldn’t wait like 10 more minutes.
  • 00:26:18Right. You know what I mean. Um, but yeah. So yeah, it’s, it’s
  • 00:26:21When you can see it through the lens that you’re talking about, you’re seeing it to like this other lens and
  • 00:26:27It’s very, it’s very much that cliche. Well, when you know when the student is ready, the master will appear.
  • 00:26:33Like you’re like, yo,
  • 00:26:35Yo, you were so on top of things.
  • 00:26:40That’s great. Um, yeah. So I wanted to want to ask you just kind of like, so I got this this weird book.
  • 00:26:47It’s called weird because I’d never heard of it before and then I picked it up and it’s like, is this really based off of like orthodox like Christianity and this guy also Carl, whereas the Carl call free graph Durkheim, he spent some time spent about 10 years with
  • 00:27:03Zen Buddhist in Japan, like like 30s and 40s, RIGHT. SO HE WAS KIND OF
  • 00:27:08Hanging he was probably hanging out with watts. I’m guessing at some point. Right. But there’s a couple of lines in here that, like, you know, really, really struck me and I’m just gonna, I’m just curious if they kind of resonate with you. Right.
  • 00:27:19We talked about the limitations. Right. The once you realize there’s no limitations or you’re limitless as a human being. Right. I mean, so before him now are open stages of maturity on a path with no boundaries. Right. Like, I mean,
  • 00:27:32How does somebody know this stuff right like
  • 00:27:36Before him now are now open stages of maturity on a path with no boundaries, right, like, and that talks limitless.
  • 00:27:44Right. Um, let’s find the other one because. So, this you know you talk about, like, you know, kind of getting wrapped up and it was all too much like at a certain point and this is the, the whole thing my awakening.
  • 00:27:58Aspect didn’t happen prior to like about three or four years ago right and
  • 00:28:03You know, it was like a punch in the gut. And I was like, What is going on now. I had the benefit of having a hippie mom, I was born in San Francisco. Like I had like all the like I was like oh shit this is everything that I’d heard about then laugh that
  • 00:28:18Right.
  • 00:28:20But, you know, so, but this is this is the line right life no longer turns around, man. But around divine being and its manifestation. Right. Like, I mean, so that’s
  • 00:28:29Right, like where you realize there’s there’s a something’s missing. It’s like the divine aspect and like once you know that kind of did you get right i mean you’re wrapped up around it. Now, right, like that’s what gives you life my inner out. What do you think
  • user avatarMona Loring00:28:45In what way, what do I think about which far
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:28:47I mean, you know, so I mean you’re no longer kind of wrapped around like the the
  • user avatarMona Loring00:28:51Attachments and man.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:28:53Just demand stuff right like it’s like it’s like really what’s driving life is like the divine light in you or you know something along those lines, right, like that’s the greater driving force.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:29:05I mean my again my head goes in so many directions with that, um,
  • 00:29:11YOU KNOW, IT’S FOR ME. IT THE POWERFUL PART OF THAT was the manifestation hub and you know I’m going so many places because of what I just recently read to
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:29:23What do you recently read
  • user avatarMona Loring00:29:24Well, I was reading about a little bit more about the fifth dimension.
  • 00:29:29And I was reading about parallel lives.
  • 00:29:31Hmm. And so I’m like, I’m like, you’re like oh no you’re taking me somewhere else, right now, but
  • 00:29:35To do it.
  • 00:29:36Um,
  • user avatarMona Loring00:29:38It just made me think of how you know we we think for so much of our lives, because we’re conditioned. We think that what we are is just what our body is right, and the man, the
  • 00:29:49See, and what we actually see
  • 00:29:51Which is so funny to me because when you stop and think about it so much of what we don’t see we take as reality, too. But then when spirit comes into it for like
  • 00:30:01You know,
  • 00:30:03And I just recently did read about how people don’t question dreams.
  • 00:30:08And then dreams are real and you have a dream, but yet, how does that, how do you know it’s real, it’s the same thing as someone just telling you that they have
  • 00:30:16But yeah everybody accepts that right. Um, so this was just leading me down the rabbit hole of thought of, you know, Parallel Lives and just how
  • 00:30:29It’s not the body, it’s, it’s this the soul, and how many lives each soul has and spawns and there’s so many different than
  • 00:30:37The old different markets, but, um, you know, also, I’m thinking about how
  • 00:30:45Oh, man. It’s so funny when you get me started. It’s hilarious. I’m like, I need to. I need to really think about where I want to go and what I want to tell you because I wanted to so many different things, but you know just what you think becomes right
  • 00:30:58And so I think this is another part and what that quote was saying is, you know,
  • 00:31:04You manifest what your life is. I mean, I tell my clients all the time what you think you become and earlier you had kind of said something along the lines of
  • 00:31:14Something about scarcity with my business. And, you know, was I afraid and, you know, for some reason, one of the most I’m so grateful for this gift and personality trait, but I’ve never been afraid of luck.
  • 00:31:26I’ve never been afraid of scarcity. I’ve always just been like, well, if I think I can do it. I can do it.
  • 00:31:32That’s nice. And it is nice and I’m very grateful for that. Because I know that it’s difficult. If you can’t, and there’s been times where that stumped me more recently than not, which has been really interesting, but I’m
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:31:44Gonna be a curious.
  • 00:31:45Point to when when you when you’re stumped. You like well, like you said that that doesn’t make any sense. This isn’t, this isn’t so there’s something in that right like what what is there, like, you know,
  • user avatarMona Loring00:31:57locking it
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:31:57Yeah.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:31:59You know, so
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:31:59I mean, so, as you know, I think that’s an interesting question two is like as a as a sham. And as a light worker somebody that’s intuitive medium, who do you go to when you need up
  • user avatarMona Loring00:32:13Man, I have some amazing people that I guess you know
  • 00:32:15And I want to, I want to correct one thing I don’t call myself a Sean I’m I’m semantically trained. I feel like the identity of a shaman is something different. And you know, it’s, I believe in certain ways, it’s indigenous and I
  • 00:32:33Don’t want to take that on for myself.
  • 00:32:36Here also, because
  • 00:32:37With the training that I’ve had. I have kind of turned it into my own thing.
  • 00:32:42And through these beautiful you know I’m Nancy right now. Who do I go to
  • 00:32:46Their my teachers and who I go to they’ve taught me so many different pieces of what spirit is because there’s no one right way to work with spirit, there’s no one right way to work with energy, you know,
  • 00:32:58It’s literally like going into get a massage and you’re like, You want sweetest we’re trying to monetize this is all
  • 00:33:03Right. But there’s different ways that people do it. And it’s the same thing with spirit. I’m, I’m going to give a major shout out to one of my mentors and friends, Andre
  • 00:33:12Um, you can find them that fine Andre on Instagram and He’s incredible and he’s all about energy frequency healing and it’s been interesting with him, be one of my teachers because he’s, he’s like a Mr. Miyagi in the sense of how he did not answer.
  • 00:33:32I want to see me. I want to make sure and accurate and saying any any of my questions. Never. I would ask the question, what do you think
  • 00:33:41Oh, gosh. To me in six months. It was so frustrating.
  • 00:33:45Um, and I get it now. And I get his. It’s his way of working with people. And I just, I feel I always think, like, Man, if I did that to people they like, get out of here. I’m never going to talk to you again. But he’s
  • 00:33:55He’s so good at it and you know he’s so incredible with what he does with energy, um, he can do some incredible healing for people with just a very light touch. I mean, you can’t walk straight just barely touching and there are, it’s incredible look him up.
  • 00:34:11You know, I listened to it. I thought I checked out your podcast with them you know that you to talk
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:34:16Is really nice and you know it was nice because you can tell you guys had, you know, a nice bond, a nice connection.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:34:22Right, yeah. He’s, he’s like a big brother is really amazing person. And he has really given me the the confidence to go into healing. When I was like, you know, limiting myself a publicist supposed to do, why would I do healing to and people will take me seriously as a publicist it
  • 00:34:42Took me
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:34:43Like how does it
  • 00:34:44wasn’t him, it was, it was a hit me so you know cuz. Look, I remember. Um, when I when I was first my first kind of foray into the space, right.
  • 00:34:52Very similar feelings. Right.
  • 00:34:54Moms with coaching father’s right and I was like, who why what gives me the audacity right
  • 00:35:00Why to say like, you know, I should be a coach day right
  • 00:35:03Right, good coach, whatever.
  • 00:35:06As you can tell, awesome at it, um,
  • 00:35:11But it was like and and the coach that has like will you do, you know, just, you’ve got to give yourself the permission to be great. You know who else is going to do it for you. If you’re not
  • 00:35:20Yeah, you’re if you’re expecting somebody else to give you permission to be great. Like, you’re always going to be waiting
  • 00:35:26Yeah.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:35:29That’s exactly it. And I don’t want to interrupt you. What, what was
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:35:32So, I mean, how, how did you blow past it. Right.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:35:36Yeah and you know
  • 00:35:40I initially started doing this. I mean, first of all, I’ve been doing it again since I was 13 on and off with friends.
  • 00:35:47Um, you know, there were times where I i’ve always been studying. I’ve always been exploring it, but when I took the dive into actually doing it as a profession I was only last year.
  • 00:35:58And it was after working with friends, you know, on the DL working with family and just being like okay, can you just like
  • 00:36:06One more time, just make sure you tell me I’m not bullshit. You know, am I, can I really do this and I just really like predict this because I don’t want to tell somebody on the psychic if I’m just
  • 00:36:14You know, like you, if the self doubt is so real. And for me, there was so much self doubt at the beginning because I take it so seriously, I take what people
  • 00:36:24Believe in the spirit world so seriously and I never ever want to mix myself up or seem like I’m a charlatan and
  • 00:36:32When anybody who’s like that because people are always after money for the quick buck saying something about energy. Your Spirit and God I run into them all the time. And that was where I just needed to make sure that I was legit.
  • 00:36:44And I realized the best way to be legit is to be pure of heart.
  • 00:36:48You know, like if you just genuinely care for that person’s well be right.
  • 00:36:53Here it will not let you steer you the wrong way. I mean, there’s been days where I spirit was like let me take the wheel and literally like, I’m just holding that space. And I’m like, watching one of my spirit guides work on this person. It’s incredible.
  • 00:37:07Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:37:08You know, reminds me of, well, first of all, know you and I talked before before today a little bit. And we talked about stepping into the space and how it just kind of opens up for you once you
  • 00:37:20open yourself up to it, right, kind of thing. I know that sounds like you know some other mythical line.
  • 00:37:27But
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:37:28I was reading the you know the Michael singer.
  • 00:37:32Surrender experiment right where he talks about, you know,
  • 00:37:37Maybe he recognized when he let go, that
  • 00:37:41Like Mother Nature whatever was going to give them so much more than he’d ever dreamed possible by by kind of settings, his own standards, right. Have you found that kind of yourself to be something true
  • user avatarMona Loring00:37:54Absolutely. And I think the most common theme for me is just trust the universe and spirit and
  • 00:38:02That’s within my own life and what I’m doing. And let me tell you all day long. We can have a whole podcast episode about how I’ve been doing it with Ovid, right. Um, but yeah i just i think that
  • 00:38:15You really do need to. I think that’s why people say surrender to spirit surrender to God or whatever. And it sounds so intense, and it sounds so scary. And it’s like, Okay, are you joining a call. Like, what does this mean right
  • 00:38:26Right, it’s different. It’s not surrendering and letting something lead you. You still have free will. You can think for yourself doesn’t feel right. Don’t do it, but it’s just that trust. I think it just means trust, you know, and
  • 00:38:40I think that just for me. I have to just sometimes I’m
  • 00:38:47Being a publicist and being a healer is really weird because you have to completely
  • 00:38:52Different personalities. You know, when I’m in PR and I mean obviously I’m not one of those really gentle ethical fairy areas healers and you can tell like I’m a little bit more on the
  • 00:39:02Side. So at least the public is still there. And that way, but I mean my voice changes when I’m going to healing.
  • 00:39:08session with people. I’m softer I’m slower.
  • 00:39:12And as a publicist you’re intense and it’s cocoa and how you get it done and you know
  • 00:39:16And so when I switched to being a healer, I have to just surrender to spirit. Just what do you need me to do. What are you showing me
  • 00:39:24You know, where do I see this energy that’s hurting someone were to what, like, what is it, just show me.
  • 00:39:29I’m not doing any of them myself. First of all, so if you want to heal yourself or be a healer or get into anything that’s spiritual. You have to trust spirit because
  • 00:39:39If you’re going to be one of those people, which I have them in my family and they’ve come a long way because of, you know, seeing me. And luckily, trusting to work with spirit more but you know if you’re if you’re gonna sit here with your arms crossed, like, oh, show me.
  • 00:39:53Show me. Yeah, you’re not going to see anything.
  • 00:39:55We’re really are. And then when you let go and you trust, and this is why it’s great for some people. I’m not advocating for everyone but plant medicine is really great for some people, because
  • 00:40:05It takes away all those inhibitions and you’re not sitting there in your thought brain and you’re you’re stuck in your ego mind and, you know, thinking, well, logically, this and that, you know, you’re just letting go and you’re feeling and you’re seeing
  • 00:40:17And if you do that, you do not need plant medicine for any of that. But if you do that spirit will show you, you know, but you have to first take the first step forward and trust.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:40:28You gotta be, you know, what’s the awful of all the lines, right, you know, open, open, open everything and attached to nothing. Right.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:40:36Yes.
  • 00:40:37All right. Ah.
  • 00:40:39And
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:40:40You know,
  • 00:40:41We also talked a little bit about like now. So it opens up for you. Once you accept it. But, you know, then you got the people that are trying to manifest
  • 00:40:49With with such great intensity like you were talking about earlier to when somebody like
  • 00:40:54I just keep trying and some people that can’t let go, but it’s also when they’re trying so hard to force it. They’re trying to force it themselves. They’re trying to use their own personal energy right and versus, you know,
  • 00:41:06Alan Watts on you know Trust the universe is another right you know just trust the universe is another and and or, you know, the whole let go and let God
  • user avatarMona Loring00:41:17Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:41:18Yeah, you know, you know, you’re like, you’re like, Did that really just come out of your mouth and yeah just came out of my mouth like, let go, let God, why would you say it because it works.
  • 00:41:27Yeah, um, and with lol thing, right.
  • 00:41:31A LAW of ATTRACTION bit right
  • 00:41:35Look for evidence of it like you were talking about before, right, you got somebody like
  • user avatarMona Loring00:41:40Not yeah
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:41:41Not on my watch.
  • 00:41:42Right, so you know like you talk a little bit about looking for evidence of it, right, like if you’re if you’re trying to be in that space. Tell us a little bit about that. What’s that look like
  • user avatarMona Loring00:41:54So this is so funny. Everything asked me, am I, man. I need a whole podcast episode or just this. But all right, bite size pieces so I love
  • 00:42:05Law of Attraction and manifestation. And I think that’s truly why a anything exists and I’m for better for worse, why good exists and why that exists, you know, and I think that
  • 00:42:22What people don’t realize is, they only do a few steps of like the whole list of what you need to do to manifest
  • 00:42:29Um, and it’s it’s hard. I mean, I’m sitting here preaching to the choir and I’ll tell clients, what they need to do.
  • 00:42:35But there’s times where I’m lying and I’m lost in my own self limiting beliefs. Again, or my energy in a certain way and I’m locking myself from manifesting too.
  • 00:42:44Because we’re human, and we get in our own way. That is the number one thing humans do best, get in their own way, but
  • 00:42:50I think that really what’s so important is just being in that vibration
  • 00:42:55And you know, I even with my psychic work. You know, it’s all about kind of the tuning to that radio station is how I explain it, you know, and just getting into this vibration
  • 00:43:04And Law of Attraction is one of the easier vibrations to be in. Because at the end of the day, if you are in gratitude and if you are in love.
  • 00:43:13There’s no wrong way. If you are as as often as you can. And it’s kind of the tipping scale.
  • 00:43:19Where it’s like if you’re more love than anything else, you’re still going to tip it over and it’s going to help you out and you’re going to be on that vibration. So you don’t even have to be perfect. That’s why it’s so easy. You know, I’m
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:43:30Lucky. Yes.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:43:32It’s for me. One thing I do to just stay in it as often as I can.
  • 00:43:37Obviously, it helps. Now that I’m doing so much more healing work because that’s keeping my vibration up and just helping people in the love I feel for people and
  • 00:43:45You know, meditation and all of that. But that aside. Let’s say I wasn’t doing that for me before I really got into a day to day
  • 00:43:52I would go on Instagram and just follow really high vibe people and highlight things and follow you know places. I want to go on vacation that I love and follow you know just nature pictures and that all increases your vibration listening to music that you love.
  • 00:44:11You know outside. It sounds like you’re focusing on things that you wanted in your life.
  • 00:44:17Things that you, this is the thing. So with I think the first step is just things that you like that make you feel good.
  • 00:44:24That’s the very first step of just
  • 00:44:26Getting to a better place because some people, they’re going to you know there’s practice alleyway. And they’re in a dark place. And they’re like, well, how do I attract this when I’m just so far from the bowl.
  • 00:44:37So that’s kind of what I’m getting into it sort of like that first step of what you need to do to just almost effortlessly raise your vibration
  • 00:44:45Then of course there’s the other list of things that you need to do, which is like very specifically, think about what you want, but it’s tricky because while you can’t be too specific, because if you’re too specific. You’re limiting what
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:44:57Right. Well, I mean that’s that’s a kind of speaking in generalities. Right. This also goes back to
  • 00:45:03You know too much focus on your own intention and trying to do it yourself. Because if you’re because in that aspect. Then you’re limited to what you think is possible versus what is truly possible
  • user avatarMona Loring00:45:15Yeah, well,
  • 00:45:17Exactly.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:45:19So much fun.
  • 00:45:21I’m so you know spiritual dope spiritual dope. I like the idea of, you know, just kind of
  • 00:45:31When you feel
  • 00:45:33Connected to like demanding and getting that high. Right. That’s, that’s, again, the premise of kind of spiritual dope. Right.
  • 00:45:41Let’s talk about another spiritual dope experience, like, you know, what do you do to get your daily does your daily hit your gratitude practice your meditation.
  • 00:45:52Senior kid thrive right you have, how many children, one or two.
  • 00:45:55You too. How old are the
  • user avatarMona Loring00:45:5815 and 11 boy and a girl.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:46:00Oh man 1511 Nice, nice. And so seeing them thrive and like getting to be their mom, you know, I think that that’s also
  • 00:46:09That’s another one of those lines to, like, you know, was it. Children are a blessing you
  • 00:46:15Know you’re like wow what a blessing. They are right. You know, I don’t know. Give me something that when I haven’t hit on that you would consider like a spiritual high spiritual head spiritual. Nope. Hit me with it.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:46:30I’m
  • 00:46:33Hmm. I mean, there’s so many things. It’s like
  • 00:46:38Such an interesting question is easy. It’s so easy, but then it’s complicated.
  • 00:46:43Like anything, anything that makes you really happy a spiritual dough like
  • 00:46:49You know what I mean.
  • 00:46:51Um, so then I’m like, Okay, well, let me give you something like a little bit more serious or intent, like, you know, we’re talking about like gratitude and meditation and
  • 00:47:01You know,
  • 00:47:02Like I’m looking outside right now as we talk. I tend to look outside this window a lot when I do my sessions and, you know, this is your here and I look outside
  • 00:47:10It kind of gives me that zero and kind of not really being in a space and letting myself flow and I’m looking outside. I’m seeing sunlight. Sunlight spiritual though.
  • 00:47:18Yeah, well you that right now.
  • 00:47:20Or sure
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:47:22There’s a line that’s like a, you know, the talks about God, like you know the difference between like kind of being human with divinity is
  • 00:47:31In relation to God is like, you know, being warmed by the sun but not being the sun, right. Like, I mean, to me, that’s pretty powerful. So it says right so the Son.
  • 00:47:42Who is like you know some of your all time favorites. If you’re on a, you know, was I’m a big fan of high fidelity of the movie. I’m not sure if you’re a john Cusack fan and
  • 00:47:53I love him so you know island all time, you know, top five. You’re gonna be stuck listening to them talking to them spiritual people who are they who are they
  • user avatarMona Loring00:48:05Oh man, I thought I was questioning off and I was like,
  • 00:48:11Okay.
  • 00:48:13I’m going to go up because he he
  • 00:48:17He really broke me into truly spiritual literature and he was really kind of my first Wayne Dyer. I’m definitely him.
  • 00:48:26And he and anyone who hasn’t experienced them. I would say listen to him because his voice is so soothing that that’s just half of it right there. I changed my life so much more to actually start to listen to what he has to say.
  • 00:48:41Over just read what he has to say. But his power of intention was the first book I read and of his books and I thought it was brilliant. Um, who else. Okay, hold on my face. Oh, I’m literally looking at all my books around here and cheating so hard. I’m
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:49:02Going to you.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:49:04I, I really like Joe dispenser right now.
  • 00:49:07And kind of is. So it’s like, oh, all time is rough, but like
  • 00:49:10I’m pretty hot on him right now, just because, um,
  • 00:49:14He, he’s a tough one for some people to grasp, because in certain ways, he doesn’t answer all your questions, like I was introducing my husband and my husband was like
  • 00:49:25But he doesn’t explain a lot and he doesn’t explain how like it’s a little bit. And if you really want to like need all that detail there is a little bit of vagueness to what you say. Um, you have to. That’s what spirit experience a little bit
  • 00:49:39And, you know, it is like we don’t know everything, you know,
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:49:43What makes it a challenge is like how you’re going to describe to somebody that’s never had the experience what being filled by spirits like
  • 00:49:51Yeah, right, or or
  • 00:49:54Existing or feeling on that level, and that’s where the differentials come from, from so many different spaces because you can’t put that shit into words.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:50:05You can, and it’s hard and you know there’s there’s a meditation that he he has that
  • 00:50:12I’ve tried to do. And I’ve succeeded once really well and it was mind blowing. Um, but I find what he has to say really interesting and I’m a huge believer and he breaks down into people like Gregg Gregg Braden, and
  • 00:50:26There is there so interesting.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:50:28So Greg’s, the one that finally so I know I’ve got, like, if you remember the movie high fidelity for he’s got his albums line to like chronological order, right.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:50:39Remember them. It’s been a minute.
  • 00:50:41Hey man, you know,
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:50:42If you get super down on anything should go watch it because it’s always
  • 00:50:45Entertaining
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:50:48But he’s got the he’s got his albums, like in chronological order right here. I can tell you how I got to, you know, this album to that.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:50:56Number that
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:50:57Right, so that’s like that’s like me. I’m like, why can tell you how I got to Alan Watts and I got to
  • 00:51:03And then I got over here into Gregg Braden. And so, Alan Watts is always talking about in Buddhism, they talk about the heart, mind connection right and man I went off on a search. I was like, I gotta find out more about this heart, mind can hardly
  • 00:51:18Google um
  • 00:51:21And and Gregg Braden did it in one of his sessions on the last gospels of Thomas
  • 00:51:28And you know, you know, you’ve just got to connect the two and a resonant manner and like when you’ve connected the two you’ll know it and that’s like that heart, mind connection. And that’s when people like that’s when
  • 00:51:41You’re in full gratitude and you express a wish. I mean, that’s when you’re going to be like most resonant because now you’ve got your mind and your heart like into and and that’s part of the whole heart math bit right like is
  • 00:51:51That
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:51:53Right. I mean, what else you don’t need, like, I love, I love the amplification process of movies media.
  • 00:52:00Podcast. And to me, it’s just like one big soapbox for me. I’m like, Well, you know, this is how I’m going to amplify my message right but you can just, you don’t need all this, you can just do it with that heart, mind connection and and so Gregg Braden
  • 00:52:16So my guy.
  • 00:52:17It’s like when you when you have those when you trip over those things, I think, you know, so you’re talking about. I’m looking for
  • user avatarMona Loring00:52:24Cheating again with the bookcase.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:52:26You’re good. So the meditation that just you did. I mean, I’ve been. I’ve been working on that one. Um, that sounds like. So is it the one that’s the beginning of becoming supernatural because I’ve got the audio, I need the book right
  • user avatarMona Loring00:52:39I don’t know if it’s at the beginning of becoming supernatural. I haven’t, I haven’t found it in a minute. Um, but
  • 00:52:45I believe he only if I’m not mistaken, I believe he only has one true like it’s always the same. He has one main meditation. That’s his theory and it goes. Um, I remember how it goes like, you know, imagine the space between your temples in space.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:53:01And like
  • user avatarMona Loring00:53:02The way he says that some people are like, wait, what, like, what are you saying to me, you
  • 00:53:05Know, but if you just give yourself permission to let go and whatever that’s defined us for you will work.
  • 00:53:11You know, it’s a pretty interesting meditation. It’s all about shooting your energy from from like your tailbone up your body. It’s really interesting.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:53:18Well, I mean, so, so
  • 00:53:20Have you so he talks about like how to do that right by like I’m making this making the, you know, stomach muscles strong and like all that stuff.
  • 00:53:28Sounds like to me like Kundalini like a Kundalini practice, but also again due to my friend over here, Carl free this guy from Germany who spent the time over in Japan.
  • 00:53:43It’s the same thing. It says, then is it flipped or backwards on the side. I don’t know.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:53:47That’s perfect.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:53:49Right. So it’s the same exercise.
  • 00:53:52Which is to me. I love that because it’s, you know, you’re like, wow, these things. It’s the same. It’s the same stomach exercise like we do the meditation and get the energy know pumped up to the back of your head and giving yourself the TMT shot.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:54:06Yeah, right. Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:54:07So I’m working on that one.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:54:11Not natural the empty.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:54:12Right, right, guys.
  • 00:54:17That would be one I would chase for a while. Sure.
  • 00:54:19Yes, like, no, just just
  • 00:54:23Yes, but I mean you know but i wanted i want to do it will like where I don’t get in trouble for having a handful of it, um,
  • 00:54:32But I love the fact that our bodies are. I mean, that’s the whole you know the whole alchemy.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:54:36Aspect right i mean our
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:54:38Bodies, you know, generate all the things that we really need if if we give into it. Or if we know how to make it happen, such as
  • 00:54:50The
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:54:51Meditation that you’re talking about, like, one more of your, of your top fives.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:55:00Hmm. These are some books on us. It’s top five. Let’s see who else
  • 00:55:06I love so many people. I’m excited that I said Wayne Dyer that goes to show he really just opened me up to the world. I love that. Um,
  • 00:55:18Who else would I say
  • 00:55:23I love that you’re just watching me on this podcast looking around my office. I’m
  • 00:55:31Oh, you know what
  • 00:55:33I haven’t finished yet.
  • 00:55:35I didn’t finish I have so many books. I wish I could just take my computer around a show you it’s everywhere.
  • 00:55:40Um, I haven’t finished this book, which is crazy that I’m going to recommend it but it’s because I’m a Gemini and I started a book and then I
  • 00:55:47Read half of it and I jumped to the next thing. And I’ll go back to it and I have, I probably am reading about five books at one given time. I’m Autobiography of a Yogi.
  • 00:55:58Hmm.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:56:00I suggest anyone who wants to know a little bit of something about something.
  • 00:56:05So I bought that at his actual
  • 00:56:09Spiritual center down in Encinitas San Diego and it’s an awesome place, but anyone who’s in social definitely does it if they can, at some point, um, and it’s such an interesting book because I want to grab it. I’m
  • 00:56:29Parma Hansa your yoga Nanda, I was like,
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:56:33Nada. That’s why.
  • user avatarMona Loring00:56:36This guy, um, it’s just so interesting because I’ve even gone on YouTube before and done some of the meditation.
  • 00:56:46They have available and they’re pretty great.
  • 00:56:49And it’s all just, you know, the meditation. They did. They were all just based on love. Um, but it’s it’s really this is named one of the hundred Best virtual books of the 20th century. So right here.
  • 00:57:03The self realization of of just anything that you’re doing in meditation and in spirit.
  • 00:57:10I think I would even though I haven’t finished it. So I feel like I’m a little bit of a cheat saying this, but from what I have right of it. And again, you know, diving into what
  • 00:57:19It’s about and you know this is a little bit, you know, tells you about his life and stuff too. But, you know, the theory behind self realization is beautiful to me. And I think that
  • 00:57:32The number one thing that I’ve learned that I believe my mentors were always trying to reach me and I want everybody else to really believe is that you really have all the answers you need it.
  • 00:57:44You really don’t need to look without to to know anything you really i mean it’s it’s part of the whole Akashic records. You know, it’s like the informations already in a certain field.
  • 00:57:58Just dive into it and you dial into the frequency and you can get any information you know you want to know because
  • 00:58:05It’s there for you. And of course that’s easier said than done. And I know that if you’re not in a certain mindset or in a certain space, you can certainly do that. But, um,
  • 00:58:14That’s why I feel like meditation so important you know because you you will have so much information. I mean, how was I a 13 year old girl telling people about household households work. And then, you know, five years ago, I was reading this book.
  • 00:58:32I can’t remember the book, Robert Schwartz, he wrote it. Not that I totally believe everything that he said, not that I think he’s a liar, either. I just don’t know. But the things that were in this book where things I was telling
  • 00:58:42Our team. It was very bizarre and um you know how if you if it’s not about dialing within yourself and tapping into the energy field around you, how would how would I have even known to tell these people, these things that I have never stopped to think about
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:58:56Love it. I love, I love, I love that because you know
  • 00:59:01The way I think about it is kind of like even, even in coaching, any, any kind of like creative nature forces.
  • 00:59:09Are through you. For the benefit almost more for somebody else. Right. So it’s like you don’t know you just got to open yourself up to it and you know you’re there for the benefit of somebody else right
  • 00:59:21Yeah, it’s kind of one of the ways I see it. So,
  • 00:59:25Just being a vehicle of that energy right being a vehicle that you know information is energy right
  • 00:59:32So I love that. What would you say ended up here real quick for us but um you know when you’re
  • 00:59:39Kind of first coming into it. Right. You did it at like 13 there was no Google, there’s no Facebook group there was like, you know,
  • 00:59:49Finding these books right and kind of getting that validation there. Or let’s say somebody
  • 00:59:56Is coming into it right now. Right.
  • 00:59:58What would you send them like, you know, somebody says, like, Oh my God, I feel like elements.
  • 01:00:02Touching god like and I must be crazy. What would you tell them
  • user avatarMona Loring01:00:08That’s such a tough one because I think there’s no right answer for everybody.
  • 01:00:13And I know that might seem like a cop out but it’s true. Um, I would ask someone, you know, what do you, what do you feel like you want to know more about, you know, what are you
  • 01:00:22You’re touching God. What does that look like to you.
  • 01:00:25Do you need something that’s going to help you go within more do you need something that’s going to be a little bit more of a play by play so you can expand a little further.
  • 01:00:33You know what I mean, everybody’s so different and that’s why I think I was just so stumped with my top five books because I look around. I’m like,
  • 01:00:40Well depending on this person color therapy is really great. But you know what I mean, because it’s just it depends on what someone wants, but I would say that anything that you choose to expand your mind with whether it ends up being right for you or not. It’s still opening you up.
  • 01:00:58To a certain space and it’s just going to lead you down.
  • 01:01:01In a good way, a beautiful rabbit hole of more, you know, um, and my clients definitely asked me, you know what book do you want, do you recommend I read and Michael singer has definitely been one of them. Michael singer untethered soul that’s a
  • user avatarbrandon handley01:01:15Great book. Yeah.
  • user avatarMona Loring01:01:19It was funny. I didn’t see that anywhere here, I think.
  • 01:01:23It’s out on live
  • 01:01:24But, um, you know, I think that it’s just about, you know, I know some people that have really opened up because they read the secret as as hokey as people think. The secret is, I think it’s brilliant because it helps people got
  • 01:01:39The mainstream open up
  • 01:01:42You know, and I think that the Abraham books are
  • 01:01:45Amazing. Oh my gosh, I forgot.
  • 01:01:48My favorite book. I cannot believe it. Jane Roberts, the South books.
  • 01:01:52are incredible. They are incredible. And they’re not easy reads because it’s just
  • 01:01:59The things that so basically set is an entity, a spiritual entity that comes out of this woman Jane Roberts that writes these books with her husband dictating basically writing what she’s been saying and
  • 01:02:11The things that he talks about are just so incredible and
  • 01:02:15I remember so early on being like, Well, you know, What would, what would be the answer to this.
  • 01:02:20You know, spiritual question that, like, you know, things that you would never How can someone project energy over to another, like how does tell us telepathic. You know, telepathy. Telepathy. Thank you. It’s healthy work.
  • 01:02:33Say that 10 times fast. Hello ethic telepathy and you know it’s it’s check the book out. I recommend it to a lot of people. Um, I really liked it on audible because you can kind of just soak it in and listen to it.
  • 01:02:49But I would have to say that’s probably the coolest book that
  • 01:02:54Was a tough one because you saw me struggling trying to cheat by looking around my office finally came out finally came. Yeah, yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley01:03:01I love it, I love it. You know, we talked about Wayne Dyer to his movie that I listened to him one. I watched the shift is kind of one of the one of the ones where
  • 01:03:15It helped me to make so much sense of things for myself right to understand that, again, like I wasn’t crazy like there was like, you know, like many people have walked on this path before me. Right.
  • 01:03:29Type of thing and and and and when you understand that you’re like,
  • 01:03:34Cool. Now let’s roll with it. Let’s like we know, we know that some things are possible with this and they’re going to lead to
  • 01:03:42Who knows what but you just kind of you chase it. You follow it. You have fun with it. I love it. I love it all. So let’s um let’s cap it let’s Catholic because obviously we can do this forever.
  • user avatarMona Loring01:03:55Every question you asked, you’re like, Oh man, I need a whole episode.
  • user avatarbrandon handley01:03:59I believe at 100%
  • 01:04:00There. So there’s so much down each each spot right he’s
  • 01:04:05Mad. For me, it’s like an awesome English muffins of different
  • 01:04:10Where you know I think was the people that you’re meeting this would check out your, your conscious living and your conscious PR, right, so where, you know, where should we send people to come, come find you.
  • user avatarMona Loring01:04:23Um, you can find me on conscious living PR and Instagram. You can find us at MLC PR. I doubt anyone listening to this cares about. And we’ll see if you are but I’m also PRS and my talent firm.
  • 01:04:35My personal profiles private just for people I know, but I do have a healing one that I believe it’s called I don’t usually tell people what it is. So, um, I believe it’s healing with Mona.
  • 01:04:45It’s conscious healing co on Instagram to
  • 01:04:47And you could go on and conscious healing co.com if you want to read a little bit more about my background.
  • user avatarbrandon handley01:04:53Awesome. Awesome, great site. Very well done.
  • 01:04:56Hey, thank you.
  • user avatarMona Loring01:04:58Thank you.

Join in the conversation as we host Elyse Archer of She Sells this week on Spiritual Dope.

Connect with Elyse over at: https://elysearcher.com/

Also, Elyse, mentioned the book The Diamond Cutter, check it out below:

Brandon Handley 0:00
321 Hey there spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here. The voice of a generation as we know, Mays was self self indulge every once in a while and I’m on with a quite somebody quite special Elise Archer. And I’m just gonna, I’m gonna let her do the bio for herself in a second here. But before I do that, like Elise is the reason I do a podcast. Right? Before I met Elise, I’d never listened to a podcast, or I was like, fuck podcasts. Like, that’s not for me. And when I when I met Elise, Alicia, we’re doing your podcast with Greg and, Mark. Good. Morning. Yeah. And, you know, and then you know, we’re connecting at some of the networking events. And then I eventually hired you as my coach. And then when we got through the coach, it was for sales coaching, we got midway through the coaching. And I was like, This is more like, I’m getting life coach than sales coach. And and it’s okay, because it’s transferable, but like, as like, Well, you know, what, at least what we’ve been working on, like, it’s been the sales, but I really want to do this, like podcasts, and I was fully expecting you to be like, eyes on the prize brand and focus on what you said you were gonna focus on and you got it. And instead of doing that, instead of doing that, you’re like, well, how can I help you? Right, and you connect them with some other people. And that moment that that was like a life changing moment for me. So thank you for that. And I’m gonna let you do your own little brief intro. Like Elise, what do you all about? And share a little bit of that? And then we’ll get it going.

Elyse Archer 1:36
Oh, my gosh, I love that. Yeah, it’s it’s so cool, just to see what you’ve created in a short amount of time and to see the evolution of it as well. So yeah, thank you so much. I was just thinking before cutting on his podcast, this is so much fun for me, because I do most of the podcast interviews I do or straight business sales, personal branding. And so this is pushing my limits, because this is actually the stuff I care about, like this is, this is the real, I feel like everything I do in the sales and business world is kind of the Trojan horse to try to like, talk to people about spirituality and help them just develop and grow personally. So this is so much fun. Okay, so with that about me, I’m a new mom. So I’ve got a little boy, he’s six months old. And that’s so much fun. Yeah, yeah, it’s the best. I love it. I didn’t know how I was gonna feel elevated. I

Unknown Speaker 2:24
know.

Elyse Archer 2:26
My gosh, No, I know. And he’s kind of he’s past that, like the blob stage now. So he’s doing things which was, but especially for my husband, Jason, I think it’s more fun for him now that he can interact. And, yeah, I’m a business owner. So I do a couple different things. I’m a founding team member of a company called brandbuilders group or a personal brand, strategy firm. And then I also recently launched another brand that I’m running called T cells. And it’s a it’s basically sales, training and mentoring for women who want to break through six figures and learn to sell in a way that feels really authentic to them. And we can, you know, take this conversation wherever you want it to go. But that’s a lot of my background is coming from corporate sales and seeing, you know, sales and business strategies celebrated that, frankly, made me feel like crud when I implemented them, because they either kind of blurred the lines of integrity, or were all about Push, push, push, hustle, and I did it, I did what I was taught, and I financially, I did pretty well. But it was really, really detrimental to not just my mental health, my physical health too. And so a lot of my own journey has been about I would say, reconnecting with myself, like how I’m actually wired, how I was innately designed and learning to trust myself, trust my instincts, trust my body, trust my intuition. And, and I’m really lit up now about helping everyone do that. But specifically, I my brand really is catering to women, because I think so much of what we’re taught, just growing up is like, we, you know, our bodies look wrong, or they’re not the way they should be, or they’re for other people’s pleasure. And it’s just, it’s really disempowering. And so, I’m so passionate about helping myself reconnect with my power and then helping other women reconnect with their power as well. So that’s, that’s a little sliver of what I’m all about.

Brandon Handley 4:15
Just a tidbit.

Unknown Speaker 4:16
Yeah. Just a little bit.

Brandon Handley 4:18
I love it. I love it, you know. And again, you know, when we connected, it was just, I think it was a, it was just an interesting journey. You You and I are connection, right? And just kind of how that how that all? We’ll call it manifested. And let’s start off with the first question that so we have all day to talk. So usually like to start us off with, you talked about connecting with your power always align it with like source, right? So the idea is that source speaks through us to speak to somebody else, right, you kind of get this divine inspiration to share something with somebody else. So the deal is there’s somebody listening to this podcast today that needs you to kind of ignite them to connect them to their power through a message. And what does that message to that person today? At least?

Elyse Archer 5:08
I love that question. I mean, the biggest thing that shows up for me is to trust yourself. That’s like I said, that’s so much of what I feel inspired to share with this brand. And like I mentioned before, a lot of my journey, especially in my teens, and 20s, were, it was it was not trusting myself, and whether that was not not being proud of my body. And I struggled with an eating disorder for 17 years, or feeling like something was just off with, like a client situation or something I was being told to do at work. All the way to, you know, when we got pregnant for the first time, a couple years ago, I went into sheer panic, that I was like, I just, I felt like I was going to lose the pregnancy. And I went into sheer panic about it. Sure enough, we miscarried. And I learned in that moment, I didn’t trust my body. And it’s been so interesting, this journey of learning to I think a lot of times we have to like kind of be brought to our knees to be able to be open to whatever that that message is that we’re meant to receive, and then carry forth into the world for other people. And that was it for me. But then even talking with my mom about it, a lot of her own experience, too, was she didn’t trust her body. And I think a lot of this stuff goes back generationally. So you know that, whatever that thing is that you feel like you want to do, but you can’t do or you have this intuition to do something or you’re like that logically doesn’t make sense. If I could encourage someone to listen to it, and trust that it doesn’t have to make sense for anyone other than you and to kind of stop looking outside of yourself. Even I promise, I’ll be quiet in a second. So you can respond or ask your next question. But I think about the coach I’m working with right now like this was I just did a pretty big financial investment to work with a new coach. And I knew that it was going to trigger all of my scarcity mindset that I was part of me was still clinging on to I knew it. And sure enough, a couple of weeks in it did. And I knew in my core, my intuition this whole time that it was the right move. But logically, it would not be anything that my dad would have told me to do, it would have been anything that a lot of even business mentors, who I look up to would tell me to do and I was on a call with her a couple weeks ago, and I said, I found myself going into panic about making the wrong decision. She was like, when do you find yourself going into panic about that. And I said, usually I’m reading, it’s when I’m reading like a business book, or I’m listening to financial management training from somebody else. And she was like, stop it, cut it off for the next three weeks, no consumption of any of that stuff. And I cut it off, and I feel so at peace. So it’s not that we want to not learn and educate ourselves and challenge our thinking. But I think at the end of the day, you know, your best path for you. And you have to trust that everything that you’re doing and when you act on those instincts, it’s always unfolding for the greater good and for your greater good. So sometimes just putting those blinders on and trusting that you know, what you need to do, is the most powerful thing you can do. So that would be my message.

Brandon Handley 8:14
After keeping it short.

Unknown Speaker 8:15
I’m gonna be all day

Brandon Handley 8:20
I kid I kid I love it. I love it all like and one of the parts where you brought it to know you had to kind of come to your knees right to just kind of accept your your intuition piece for a lot of people would you consider that? You? d a fearful, dark night of the soul for you? Would you consider that a moment of a or maybe like even a dark night of the soul? Whatever, right? And then and then, you know, there’s the idea I love I love what you’re saying there with with your coach, because I bet you it’s almost like it’s almost like a deprivation for you knowing how much you consume to improve or be better or find another technique or whatever, right? Like Hmm, I have to cut all that off. Right like so you probably feel a little bit like a junkie having to withdraw from that at least look and I know this from my own experience, right? I’m like, I’m like What do you mean? Don’t Don’t do it all like right now.

Elyse Archer 9:16
So it was in that did one thing I’ll just add to that is like, she really kind of pushed me with that cuz she was I was like, but I love learning and learning is good. And I love reading. She was like, that’s your comfort zone. She said, study yourself for three weeks. Just study yourself. Whoa, this is so uncomfortable. But that’s right. That’s what we need.

Brandon Handley 9:33
Well, that’s tough, too. Right. So jumping in there and studying yourself. And what I’ll throw in there though, too, is like, so it’s very, I’m still going through this book again. Right? Like, are you ready to succeed? I can’t remember if I saw I might have sent you one too. I can’t recall if I did. I think I sent you have a kid’s book that isn’t yours. Yeah, I

Elyse Archer 9:50
don’t I’m not familiar with this book. So

Brandon Handley 9:52
this is Sreekumar Rao. This is actually by way of Elise Archer at some point. It was back in the day when we were doing the coaching There was a guy that I looked up Sreekumar Rao on like, you know, you are hardwired for happiness, right? And turned out like, you almost cried, watching his little story or whatever. And I was like, Alright, well, I gotta get his book, got his book, yada yada went through it. But one of the pieces in here it’s just really talks about there’s two pieces in here that you’re saying that resonate with me. And one is like, talking about putting all that effort in, right? Like I gotta do I gotta do I got consumed content consume content, you were finding like each time you like power, something that didn’t correlate with how you were feeling or doing it was like, it was like, striking the wrong chord. Right? Quite literally. It’s like, you’re like that is that is out of that is that’s out of tune with who I am. Oh, my God, I need to make an adjustment because this person, you wrote this book, he’s an authority. Right? He

Unknown Speaker 10:48
knows. Oh, my gosh, I

Brandon Handley 10:50
shouldn’t Holy shit. Did I do the wrong thing? Right. So that that’s one piece, right? is to not let the wrong thought in your head. Right? It’s better. It’s like better like like literally cut yourself like with a razor. He says in this book, this came from like a Swami. Right? It’s better to cut yourself like a razor than to let the wrong thought into your head. Hmm. Right. which I know sounds to me. Like, you know, that’s that’s kind of what was happening to you. Like, you know, you’re you’re on your path. But you’re like, you like this guy’s awesome. I love 98% of what he does. But this piece right here is just like a BB in my mind, right? breaking all my shit. And thank you so much. Right? And then and then the other piece is like, we’re trying to do it so fast. Right? We’re trying to we’re trying to do is we want it so bad. We’re trying to do it so fast. There’s another story in this book where he talks about the idea of, you know, if you try to do it so fast, and with so much energy, it’s actually gonna take twice as long. So it sounds like your coach sounds really similar to what your coach is saying is they stop taking all this like outside influence and jam in all this into your cranium. Study yourself, trust yourself. And that’s what you’re saying to is like, kind of trust yourself and believe in yourself and kind of tune out all the other shit.

Elyse Archer 12:01
Yeah, well, that’s so interesting what you said about if you try to like, push and force it into it so fast, it’ll take twice as long. It’s interesting. I hadn’t thought about it like that. But because it’s counterintuitive. It makes a heck of a lot of sense. Because you’re kind of going up river versus letting yourself flow and stuff, right?

Brandon Handley 12:18
Yeah. here’s, here’s how, like, I’ve visualized it more recently. And this is like, this year, right? Imagine, like, you feel like you’re literally putting all the thought energy or whatever things, right? If we’re putting all this energy into this place, right? Then nothing can get in. So if we create space for something to come in, right, if we back up for a second, and let it come to us, then it comes to us, right? Because otherwise we’re blocking it. We’re like, I’ve got to put everything into this spiritual energy, right? Like, I’ve got to put all of my, you know, essence energy into this thing. And I want it so bad. If it doesn’t, we’ve got all these things caught up with it. And instead of like, I do really want it I want it really bad, but like, I want it and kind of like, the way I like flowers and, you know, gardens and stuff where if I go and I plan it, you know, there’s that whole other thing to where, like, you know, if you plant something you don’t keep pulling it up, right? And check into the roots and be like, you plan it. Come back up. Yes, it does what it’s supposed to do. Yeah, it’ll do anyways. And those are some thoughts that are like, you know, coming on mine is I’m hearing your story, right? I’m hearing like your coaching unfold. So thanks for letting me ramble on

Elyse Archer 13:26
I love this. This is no I feel like I’m getting a good like a spiritual lesson from you. And this this is awesome

Brandon Handley 13:31
was so that was so here’s the other thing, right? Like Elise guys is I went through like my quote unquote, like a call, quote, unquote, because nobody can like point a finger and say, Hey, that was an awakening experience. But remember, if you don’t remember that time, I called you up. I

Unknown Speaker 13:43
was like, Oh, yes,

Brandon Handley 13:44
I went through some shit. I don’t know what it is. And it’s like an awakening experience. So Lisa’s been again, guys that’s, you know, just want to share our relationship with the people that are listening, right, and how this kind of all came together. You came to me as like a sales coach. But what ends up happening was all this inner work that I hadn’t done before for personal growth, and it manifested into culminated into like kind of an awakening experience. Right. And from there, we still maintained and again, that was another thing where you were like, Well tell me more about that, like, because you’re just as excited as I was for that, too. So I think that that’s says a lot about kind of who you are and what you accept in your life. So I do want to hear like, you know, how you talked about helping people find themselves spiritually through your own process. And I’d like to hear how you’re doing that. Because what happened with me might not have been intentional. And and, you know, how do you feel like you’re doing it intentionally right now?

Unknown Speaker 14:43
Oh, wow.

Elyse Archer 14:45
Yeah, gosh, I don’t so I don’t have like an intentional method to it. I think it’s more me think about that cuz I want to actually, I want to, I want to think about what the right or just what the true answer is for me there. I think I think for me, a lot of my own journey has been around overcoming a lot of feelings of unworthiness and worthlessness. And I think a lot of that is conditioned, that’s part of why a lot of the, like the clients I work with are in a business environment in a business setting. And so a lot of times they’ll come for, you know, I want to make more money, or I want to grow my personal brand and presence and just through that process, usually what comes up is, are there tactical, pragmatic things that they can do to do that? Absolutely. But also, and I think the more important thing is we dig into just limiting beliefs that are showing up for them around, you know, I want to make this amount of money, but even the word want means you don’t have it, right. So it especially the women, I work with those, those cut, you hear more than their story. And they talk about feeling unworthy or scared to show up or scared to speak up. And it doesn’t matter how good your website is, or how good your sales process is, if you have that limiting view of yourself, you’re only going to be able to operate within a box that’s like this big right? And get results that are about that big. So I really like I said, I don’t have a set processes, something I’m kind of like working on developing on right now. Because I do want to be able to take people through a more like a more intentional process. For me, it’s typically kind of intuitive with my clients. But that’s usually what I’m listening for when I hear my clients talk is, what are they actually saying about themselves. I was on a call with a potential client the other day. And the first thing she said when she got on our call was she said, Oh, you know, I’m just sitting here procrastinating, like I always do. And she’s a woman who wants to break through six figures this year in her business, and she’s a go getter. And she you can tell like she’s you know, she’s an aggressive goal getter. But the first thing I said was, whatever you describe you prescribed, right. So if you’re sitting there saying, I’m procrastinating, like I always do, you’re going to continue to procrastinate on accomplishing your goals on making your sales calls on whatever it is. So I just I think because so much of my own journey involves poor self talk poor or poor self image, I can hear it, and I can see it and other people. And then that’s what I try to pull out. Because usually we’re just we’re not even aware of it. It’s so ingrained in how we think and how we talk. And most of the people around us usually use disempowering language and thoughts. And so it’s kind of just part of our society. But once you realize, once you’re aware of it, you can’t unknow it. Right. And so I care so much now for myself about how I feel and how I speak about myself. And I try to get my clients to that same level of self awareness. Because the tactical stuff is like 5% of the actual process, the 95% of it is how you think and what you believe you deserve. So I don’t know if that answered the question. Like I said, there’s not a real thought out process. It’s super intuitive for me, but that’s, um, that’s that’s kind of how I do it

Brandon Handley 18:01
a little bit. I mean, it sounds like there is right, so the process is to kind of just identify where they are, right? You know, are they saying something that, you know, you’ve been able to get look as, I don’t think it’s any different than being a doctor, right? Kind of, when, when you first start off, you’re like, maybe I shouldn’t amputate that leg, I don’t know. But I’m gonna go ahead and I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go ahead and cut that one off, you’re doing the same thing with like somebody limiting beliefs, right? Or identifying it. And over time, over time, like you become skilled enough to be like, Oh, that’s this. That’s this. That’s this. That’s this just because of your exposure, experience. And then your own way of working with people in that space, seeing what works. A lot of these things that you’re using a lot of the tools that you’re using, I’m guessing, aren’t brand new, right? These are tools that have been around for quite some time that have had success for years and years and years. It’s just how do you how do you share those tools with these people? So what would be like one thing that you help? Like, when you identify like a limiting belief within somebody else? Right? How do you how do you identify that for somebody to get them past that? Yeah, well, I

Elyse Archer 19:07
think the first thing is just reflecting it back to them. So that’s part of where there is value in having a coach a mentor, just somebody who can hear how you talk. And and actually help help you become aware and almost be a mirror for Do you realize you just said that? Because like I said, oftentimes, our language is so it is it is so subconscious, we don’t even realize we’re saying it. So it’s like, hey, do you realize you just said that? And then oftentimes people don’t even realize it’s a problem. They’re like, well, so you know, so what? So what did I said that and I think so for some people, they’re already really into law of attraction and, and positive self talk, but for a lot of people I work with, they’re not familiar with, with what that means, and how it how it impacts them. So we talked about, you know, whatever you’re saying you’re giving a command to your subconscious to create this thing in your life. And so we start to look at what’s a new and better and different way you could say that The other thing that has been really profoundly transformational for me in my life and that I recommend for a lot of my clients is Joe dispenza his meditations like I am, I’m guessing you follow Him, and I’m such a fan of his work. But every single morning, I’m doing those meditations. And I asked my clients to do the same, and it helps you start to feel the feelings of abundance, genius. Courage, right? All those things that, that we want to embody. And so I get all my clients doing that, as long as they’re open to it, and that is pretty darn transformational as well.

Brandon Handley 20:40
Now, 100%, right, yeah, Joe dispenza is great. He’s one, there’s one that I listened not not even. Not even a meditation, but he’s got like a 10 minute piece that like I listened to all the time. It’s just, it just reminds me like not to look at like, not to look at my social media first thing in the day not to, you know, to retune yourself, right, like to retune your your whole, you know, your whole experience? Do you live life on your terms? Not according to what kind of everybody else is already doing? And that’s why I enjoy him and that. So meditation, getting them to connect with the meditations? Or where did you find that to be kind of like the game changer? a game changer for you? Hmm.

Elyse Archer 21:24
You know, it’s so I’ve been meditating off and on for probably five years, probably, well, I really longer than that, but like, actually really going for it for about five years. But I would say it’s, I kind of, I would do it for a while, and then I’d get off of it. Because it was like, you know, I’m still I still was in the mindset of i, this time would be so much better spent if I was sending emails or creating the social media posts. So I was still in that mindset. And really, I would say, it’s, it’s honestly been more in the past few months that it’s kicked in, for me how critically important it is. Where, even though I think I had done a fair amount of work on releasing anxiety, and like I mentioned, like not trusting myself and stuff. So I’d gotten to a pretty good place about 12 months ago, but I still would have almost this low grade anxiety running all the time in the background, especially on Sunday nights, looking at the week ahead of like, Oh, you know, I’ve just I’ve still got all this stuff that’s been done that I thought I was gonna try to get done this weekend, did I just piled too much on my plate, and then I would kind of beat myself up about just not being, you know, good enough. And I Gosh, if I was better, I could have gotten this done. So it was this habit in this perpetual like cycle that my body was almost addicted to the feeling and the anxiety. And some time, I think sometimes we just have a moment. And for me, I just had a moment, I was like, doing it this way, has gotten me this result. I’ve been feeling this low grade anxiety for years for most of my life. What if I didn’t have to feel that way? What if that wasn’t the reality for everybody? What if I was what if it was just a decision that I was going to feel differently. And that’s when I started really doubling down into a lot of Joe’s work, and into just studying, you know, the different energy centers of the body and how to get them in coherence. And I will say, I mean, it’s a very short time as of the recording of this interview, but for about a week now, I’ve had really consistent checks up brain heart coherence, where you just you feel like in the flow all the time, no matter what. I had that for about a week, and it’s been so transformational. Like, I’m not afraid of anything that’s coming, I’m not anxious, I’m at peace, I’m present. With the people I’m talking to. I’m excited. I’m not triggered by stuff the way I was. And it’s just it’s a totally different, I was able to get there like a little bit before and I could get there and kind of keep it for a while during my meditations. But then something would happen in life, and it would trigger me or throw me off and I’d have to like work to get back. And it’s been really darn consistent. For like I said, about seven days. And I think it’s it was just a decision of, I can have this all the time if I want. And so now i’m i’m showing up on that meditation, that was some ferocity my friend cuz he’s like, Oh, this is good, how much? How much better could it get?

Brandon Handley 24:19
You show it to meditation be like, I’m gonna take this bitch down. Yes. So so that’s great. So there’s, there’s a word that I use in tandem kind of with, with with, with what you’re talking about there. And that’s the word numinous. Right? Like where you’ve got this connection to source and it’s just effervescent. And it sounds like that’s been your week, right? Nothing can derail that, right? There’s nothing stronger than it and there’s no worry, you’ve given yourself some trust, you’ve given yourself some grace. And there’s a it’s just such a great feeling, right? Like how did happen and where’s and it’s always been available. Right, that’s the thing like to you’re like, well, all I had to do was make a decision to make this a conscious choice.

Elyse Archer 25:06
That was it. Yeah, that and it’s and it’s not like nothing has happened, like, I got a mega tax bill I wasn’t expecting because of a miscommunication with my accountant. And in the past that would have that would have thrown me, you know, and this I was like, okay, like, I, you know, I am being honest, it threw me for a couple minutes. And then I just like I’m snapping back into it, because nothing is worth sacrificing this level of vibration and awareness and feeling nothing. So we’re just going to do it and move on. Yeah,

Brandon Handley 25:37
yeah, no, absolutely. 100%. Right. So I thought I definitely talked about this in my process, too, right? To where you make the decision, right, literally, like, so I created that, you know, this thing called the divine framework, right, the first piece of the first piece of this puzzle that you just talked about, is to make the decision. Yes. Right. Like, this is it? This is I’m going for it. Right. But the one thing that, you know, you talked about, like kind of this belief system, you talked about the boxes right and and discover on uncovering kind of like the those limitations, right? Those self imposed limitations. It’s kind of like this whole mindset thing. This is just how spirituality has kind of shown itself for me, right? Like I did the I did the coaching with you awesome stuff. Great stuff went through like law of attraction, right? And I was like, well, this is this is all kind of stuff that I’m putting out there. What if I shake it back and understand that this is a benevolent universe? And that it probably wants things more for me than I actually want for me. What can you show me? Right? And how can I take who I am eternally spirit, like spiritual DNA is perfect, right? I mean, we all have, we all share the same spiritual DNA. But I went from having a human mindset with all these worldly things that we know how to use, right. And, to your point, I’ve made it this far with this human mindset with this human capability. As like, what happens if I choose divinity? What happens in right? What happens if I’m connected to source at all time? And if I accept that source is everything, right? Who, you know, what am I capable of then? Right? And so that’s just fucking blew the lid off it. I’m like, you know, and that’s, that’s that again, just another choice to make right then. And so you can take a look at spirituality and the, you know, you can call it maybe it’s Christ consciousness, I don’t know, right to decide, like, Hey, listen, this is this is Buddhist consciousness, I make this decision to do what you did, to say. I’m just gonna stay connected to this ship, because I feel real good. I don’t have to drink to get here. I don’t have to get high to get here. All I have to do is show up and decide to be here. It can’t be that easy lease.

Elyse Archer 27:56
It’s it. It is literally it is a decision. I mean, that’s it. That’s been a huge lesson for me in the past 12 months that I think we could be scared to make that whatever the decision is. Whether it’s a decision to show up differently, a decision to to move right a decision to, for me invest in this, this high level coach. One other thing that happened for me a couple months ago is I made it not I guess it was more a month ago, I made a decision to spend more money than I knew where it was going to come from to work with this particular woman. So I felt very intuitively guided to do it. And I remember going through the fear and I like I said yes to her verbally. And then I like kind of shrugged back for a week and I vacillated It was like, Oh, this is a bad idea. It’s not it’s not responsible. It’s not smart. And I reached the point. And I think you saw my video I did on Instagram about this. But I was just thinking about why am I not moving forward on this. And it was the fear of the unknown. It was the fear of making a bad decision in the unknown. And, but what it reminded me of was, when I was in my late 20s, I was in a just a, I was in a marriage that was really toxic. And I was so scared to leave because I was afraid of the judgment of being young and being divorced. And my family put a lot of money into the wedding and we were only I mean I knew before I got married to him I shouldn’t have but at this point where I reached kind of the turning point we were like 1214 months in I was so scared to do it because of the fear of judgment and what was going to be on the other side would I ever find someone who was actually a good fit for me all that stuff. And I just reached a point where I said it can’t be worse than this you know so let’s let’s pull the trigger and do it and so I I asked for the divorce and six months to the day that I did. I met Jason who’s my husband I knew within minutes that he was going to be my husband. very inconvenient by the way in North Carolina. You’ve got to be separated for a year so we were still tech Are you gonna you remembered for a year for you to get remarried.

Brandon Handley 29:58
For the for the guys out there. They listen, they’re gonna probably, they’re gonna want to know, what can somebody do in a couple minutes to make some money?

Unknown Speaker 30:07
Right? I

Elyse Archer 30:08
know, I know. Yeah, they are. He just showed up and I was like that, you know, you hear about you know it when you know it, you know it I’ve never had that experience before. But I, I knew him. I knew that I was meant to be with him. So that’s a whole nother story, because then I had to proceed to chase him and date him and all of that stuff. It was a frustrating courtship, I will say, but here we are. So

Unknown Speaker 30:29
if I had to do one, that one, I won that one. Yeah.

Elyse Archer 30:33
But if I had not left that situation that I was so scared to leave, I would not have met him. And we would not have our son jack now. And that just puts things into perspective for me. And I think everyone can relate to something in their life where they’ve been so scared to make a move, because they didn’t know what was on the other side. But think about what happened in your life is a result of what you have now that you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t stepped out in faith. And for me, that was like, this is it. Like, I don’t know what’s gonna happen on the other side of this, but I know, I can trust my intuition that’s leading me to do this. And I know something really good is gonna unfold, even if it’s not what I’m expecting. So it’s kind of that surrender, like, Alright, I’m along for the ride.

Brandon Handley 31:16
That’s it. I mean, that’s it. 100% right. You know, it’s, it’s following your intuition. And kind of, you know, trusting it. And for you, you know, that’s seems to be working fairly well. Seems like, hey, look, what I love, too, is like, you know, listen, no matter how much of this work you’ve been doing on yourself, I’ve been doing myself, anybody out there has been doing it themselves. years, right. You’re still catching yourself, like beating yourself up? Right? You’re still catching yourself. Like, you know, there are moments where everything’s not fucking perfect. And that’s okay. Like, and I think that, I think that that that can be a challenge too. Because to accept that right to to be able to say, this, this moment, right here is not ideal for me. But that’s still going to show up no matter how much work you do. And I think that that’s important for people to hear and understand. Because they put themselves in into, oh, I shouldn’t be feeling this way I shouldn’t, then they beat themselves up for feeling that way at all. Like you’re saying, like, I shouldn’t be doing this way. And, and and I should be you should I’ve done it differently. And all these other things. And I’ve had another guy that had on and I know well, you called it he has the acronym, acronym Tina, right? There is no alternative. However you did it, right. There’s no alternative to what’s already been done. Right? The only alternative mate would be like your perspective on that, like, as you move forward, you’d be like, you know what, you can look back and be like, you know, what, in my mind, at that time, this is what I thought was going on. But now if I look back, it’s a totally different scenario. your perspective on what happened may be different. But the actual event, there’s no changing it. Right? That’s your your way past it. Right. Yeah. But you know, so how would I mean, a dress that though right, especially for you know, you again, being a coach, having gone through, like all this work, and still finding, you know, yourself kind of having those challenging moments? Do you accept those for yourself? Or do you beat yourself up for having those and then, you know, how do you get through it? What do you do from there?

Elyse Archer 33:28
Yeah, yeah, that’s a good question. I, so I do accept myself for having those. And I used to beat myself up a lot over it. And I think a lot of that is just we see people, whether it’s our parents, or like, for me, I saw I like, I love my mom dearly, but I saw her do that my whole childhood growing up. So I that’s how I operated for a long time. So now with those moments, I am so conscious of how I talk to myself, because I realized if I beat myself up, I’m only perpetuating the negative emotion negative feeling, I’m just going to attract more of that back into my life. So yeah, I mean, even yesterday, I had an introduction to like, a big time, big time, big time podcast to go on. And I had been like, really psyched up.

Unknown Speaker 34:11
You know, we’ve been talking for a while.

Unknown Speaker 34:14
See, it’s always working.

Elyse Archer 34:18
So I had this. So this was like, you know, like, top 100. Like, it was a big it was a just in terms of audience a big show. And so I got myself kind of psyched up for it. And I get on the call with the woman I’d been introduced to who is kind of like the gatekeeper and she was like, Oh, I’m so sorry. If there’s a misunderstanding. You know, he’s booked up for a whole year like I just really wanted to get to know you. You seem like a cool chicken. It was like, in that moment, I felt I felt disappointment. And then I gave myself like two seconds to feel it. I was like, okay, nothing is worth feeling that nothing is worth perpetuating that. So let me instead flip this and focus on how can I show up for her in this moment because I genuinely believe everything is always working out. For me, and if this is not the thing that’s meant to be right now it means there’s something even better down the road. So cool. So let’s have fun with this. And let’s like, show up and have fun. And then who knows what will happen in the future. But I think it’s that an attachment to like things being so perfect that for myself, for a lot of people, right, I think a lot of women I work with everyone, we can get kind of caught up in perfectionism, and things have to turn out the way we thought they would. But when you can be kind of unattached and just more attached to like, feeling good and having fun and showing up in the moment. It’s, it’s a heck of a lot more enjoyable. And you end up

Brandon Handley 35:35
Yeah, listen, you could find yourself on spiritual dope, too, right?

Unknown Speaker 35:40
I love it.

Brandon Handley 35:41
But the deal is to have right like, I mean, that is, you know, the dude, you’re talking about that seven days of being connected. That is, that’s the spiritual high, right? That’s, that’s the, that’s what the spiritual dope is. That’s the hits. You know, when you got that meditation, and you’ve got that meditation buzz of man, I was just so connected, I was so aligned, I was so detached from, I don’t want to say worldly things. But I was so detached from all all the activity and things that I felt like we were talking earlier, like, oh, maybe I gotta go make another pose. Maybe I got to go do this, maybe I got I got, I’ve got 10 minutes, I can squeeze in like five posts, maybe I can I am in and check for emails, right. And instead of being like, like, your coach is saying, Go study your fucking self for a minute. Right? Like, you’re pretty special. Right? recognize that? You know, I think more recently, you know, some of the meditations that I’ll do would be like, how far can you visualize yourself out? Right? And I’d be like, oh, infinite, right? The edges of the universe? Yes. But then more recently, I was like, well, inside is just as infinite to like, how deep Can I go into myself, and it’s infinite. So it’s infinite internally as much. So like, that was there’s been like a new rocking revelation, right? Like, where you just kind of you go internally, and you just hang out with yourself. And you see that, like, you know, you are 100% connected to source at all times. And it’s like, you’re saying, it’s a choice to say, I’m connected in this moment, to the person to the lady that was on the call, or title for my own shit. And I could I could show up and be there for her, or be tied up my own shit. And again, you’re like, I’m gonna take this moment, be there for her. And be open for the intuition, the inspiration, what’s coming out of this that is meant to be like your best.

Elyse Archer 37:35
Yes. I don’t want to add something to what you said about just studying the depth of ourselves. So one of my girlfriends, her sister, passive cancer a couple years ago, and they were super close, super, super close. And I wouldn’t talk about this on most any podcasts. I’ll talk about it here because I feel like you’ll get it. So she her sister passed. And then a mutual friend of theirs, called my friend out of the blue a couple months later, and she was she was like, I don’t know, I just feel like I have to call you. And we needed to reconnect. And this, this woman also channels and connects with people on the other side. And suddenly, while they were talking, my friend’s sister Lauren started coming through her and say, like, really literally reconnecting with my friend and what Lauren was saying, was, she said, You have no idea how big we are. She said now that I’m on the other side now that I can see it. She said, imagine like zoom out look at your house. Imagine you’re looking at it from above. You see the house and then zoom out to the block and the street and then your city and then the world and then the universe. She said you’re so much bigger. She said we are so much bigger than we know. She said I can’t wait for you to see this and know this. But she was just like, it’s you should have this this one on your podcast, I can introduce you because it’s powerful. It’s so powerful. But that perspective from the other side of are so much bigger than we can even fathom. Have

Brandon Handley 38:59
you connected yourself to that yet? Um, have you had that experience for yourself?

Unknown Speaker 39:04
No. Have you I want to Oh, can can you tell me about

Brandon Handley 39:07
it? Because I mean, it’s you can’t right that’s the whole Yeah, you can’t that’s the whole like, mystery school mysticism. translate that thing now? I did do I did do one good podcast on it where I’m not sure if you’ve done breathwork yet.

Unknown Speaker 39:23
A little bit not

Brandon Handley 39:24
not a ton, but a little bit. It’s like it’s it’s it’s like, cracked out. Meditation. When done when done well, like when you when you nail you’ll know when you nail it because you’ll come out of it. Like, what the fuck just happened? And can I get more of that all the time? Anytime? And the answer is yes. Right. Which is also powerful because that’s just like, like I said, meditation force multiplied and add connections and scenes, that you know, in those moments, that that’s the That’s just like a knowing, right? Like, it can’t be anything other than that and and more back to what you were saying before is it doesn’t you don’t need an external validation for that type of thing. You know this as truth. Right and and so, yes, right and that’s the that’s the question all right and and you know, I had similar experience to where this actually so to Elise has meant guys just again so lease is a lease is actually responsible in part for spiritual dope as well I don’t know if I told you that or not it was the interview without What was her name last one you got me in contact with the spiritual

Unknown Speaker 40:41
Oh, Regina Yeah,

Brandon Handley 40:43
so I interviewed Regina for the prosperity practice which in its own right was fucking awesome. I did love it and actually enjoyed it. But I also realized that I was I was kind of, you know, trying to sell the people what they wanted, but then give them what they need. And finally, I was just like, you know what bucket like your friend, right? Like, a much bigger, you know, spirituality, right? our spirits are much bigger than our bodies and it’s self evident. There’s like, you know, recordings of it with just even just with your resonance, right? You talked about also like the mind, mind heart coherence, experience that often, right? And that’s through meditation, but again, like through a number of things, once you recognize how to connect that and resonate that piece, and then you’re like, oh, like, like, all the time like it just like, it’s so great. Anyway, so yeah, so I interviewed her. And I was like, Why? Why am I holding back? kind of the best part of me? The best part of like, what I believe, right? Because here was this, you know, here was this, you know, ex lawyer fucking doing it. Right? And I was like, why am I waiting? Right? For who? Who, who? And then this came all the way back from my first podcast. So anyway, so first podcast was like, who gives me the authority to do this, right? I do. You do. You give yourself the authority to be you, right? You know, to go out and do the things that you know, that you can do that you’re capable of that you’re called to do, right? And that’s what you’re doing now I get to be a witness to seeing you punch through like each layer of that shit, right. And that’s what’s been fun for me to kind of watch you too, because we’ve had I feel like kind of similar experiences in that way be like, like, this is all shit. I’m out of here. This is better, but and it’s not even leveling up. Right? It’s just finding yourself in a different space because even even to a different level of awareness to what already is. Right? It’s just and goes back to your belief system be like, how When do I get to the side? Like, there’s more? Well, there’s a whole universe that is currently yours at your disposal. How do you want to use it? Right? Do you want to use it if you if you again, if you want to use your human self have fun with that. Right? And you’ve experienced that? What do you want to do with your Divine Self? What do you want to do with your universal self? Like what other kind of mindset Can you put yourself into and there’s again, that’s unlimited to

Unknown Speaker 43:16
this is so good. Oh my god. Yes,

Brandon Handley 43:20
yes. Yes. So again, guys, it was Elise who connected me with Regina and then when I connected with Regina, my wife had a friend who was medium as well on channel with me so it was combination of my wife whose childhood friend who she connects me with my grandfather like my closest you know, kind of Anthony in my life and and doing it with Gina and like, it was like the the medium wrote like a coming out letter of like, mediumship, right, like to her family, like I’m coming out of the closet medium type thing. So I was like, I was like, You know what, fuck it I’m coming out of the closet like spirituality and we’re just we’re just gonna go do it and ever since Sinhalese blown up blown blown. I mean, just the doors been blown off the people I’ve connected with, you know, I just interviewed my man here. I released you know, and and that, that was no following intuition. There was a 215 phone number, which is a Philadelphia area phone number. I was like, You’re fucking up here. I’m calling. And I just called. I was like, I was like, I was like, Listen, I was like, I got like, you know, his pm and she was awesome. knew where she lived. We had this great conversation. I was like, I just got to let you know I love this book. I’ve gone through it like four or five times I leave groups on it, yada yada. Would he be open to being on the podcast and she goes, You know what he normally he hates them. But let me see what I can do. That’s so cool. But again, so thank you like this is kind of like a trivia tool, a lease podcast. A lot of a lot, a lot of things because it’s been a lot of fun and without your support. You know, in part, of course, like us, all other all other people that have been a part of the journey, but you’ve been a big part about it. So I thought I’d share that with you.

Elyse Archer 45:11
Thank you. Thank you. Well, any audience? Yeah. And I think to just to see kind of how you’ve, you’ve taken every step of your evolution and turn it into something that’s good for other people. And I think that’s really cool. Because I do think back to when we were first working together, and it was like, how do we sell more of these?

Brandon Handley 45:32
things? Right. But that goes back to what you were saying, like how, you know, there was like, you know, you were selling stuff, and you were doing it where like, there was like integrity issues. And it’s like, yeah, you could sell something. Yeah. Maybe you could overcome some objections. Yeah, you maybe get this person to do this thing. But like, in the end, at what cost to you? And who?

Elyse Archer 45:50
Yes, exactly, exactly. Like, what is it actually all about? Yeah.

Brandon Handley 45:55
Well, so how do you I mean, I think that leads into a really good piece. So So how do you do it now where you’ve got it all tied together, that you feel aligned with what you’re doing.

Elyse Archer 46:04
Um, I just really listened to what, what my body says about what whether it’s working with a particular client, whether it’s launching a program, and I don’t fault myself for changing my mind, either, like I launched something new with the rollout of my new brand that was actually it was based on what a shaman who I follow what he does, or just like a $10, weekly, I drop in, he goes a healing temple. And it’s so much I was like, Oh, we should have that for sales, that would be so much fun. So I did like a $10 weekly drop in sales training. And it’s been, it’s been fun, but it’s like the numbers started off really high. And then they kind of dwindled with the number of women who were coming every week. And I used to go into panic about that. And now it’s like, oh, cool, I’m being divinely guided to transform this into something else. So I’m transforming it into something slightly different a monthly membership, and women are signing up for that really fast. So it’s like, just knowing that it doesn’t have to be perfect. But if I take the, I listen to what I’m being told to do, I take the action, I’m not attached to it being that way forever. And then I just kind of keep receiving that guidance. And that’s how I’ve launched my programs. That’s how I choose which clients to work with. That’s how I chose my brand colors. Like all of it, it’s just all the

Brandon Handley 47:21
colors, by the way. Don’t go gold, white, and red, which are which are all pretty cool. Yeah, I like that too. Like you talked about, like, you know, being able to change like kind of like your your and and, you know, in the business world or be ready to pivot, pivot, pivot. But being able to pivot, right, being able to adjust on the fly is something that I think a lot of people have a challenge with, too. How do you help them to overcome that, like, be like, Oh, I made this decision to do this thing. And I was told to commit. And, man, if I, if I just stick with it, persistence, and yada, yada, yada. So how do you help somebody that’s stuck in that space?

Elyse Archer 48:01
Yeah, cash. And it’s tough to write because we hear self discipline and persistence. And there’s a lot of value. There’s a lot of value to those attributes, in a lot of ways, but I think sometimes we get, you know, you hear like sunk cost theory in business. So I’ve put so much time and energy into this. And we can hold on to something just because of that, just because we already invested a lot of money or a lot of time. And even in our core, if we know it’s no longer the right thing. So again, it comes down to intuition. And so if I’m working with the client, we kind of we look at, okay, if you were, if you were starting this today, would you do the same thing? Like if you were starting from scratch? Would you do the same thing? If the answer is yes, then it’s okay. You probably just need to keep going at it for longer. Like it’s just, it’s keep showing up, keep doing it know that just like you said, with the flower when you plant it, it’s gonna take a hot minute sometimes, and that’s okay. But if you’re being honest, and you wouldn’t do it again, the same way today, or you wouldn’t run this program today, or you wouldn’t. I mean, this is a big one, but you wouldn’t marry this person today. Right? Like, then I’m not counseling people and relationships. So take that for what it’s worth, but you kind of look at, okay, are you attached to this just because you’ve put so much time and energy into it? Or are you attached to it, because it’s actually what you’re meant to be doing. And it just needs a little more time to mature or grow or terminate.

Brandon Handley 49:23
I love that. I love being associated. Again, you know, I’m a big fan of the word grace these days. So give yourself a little grace and let you kind of, you know, let that let that life energy just go ahead and propagate the way that it’s supposed to. Right. And I love though, to that you’re saying you know, if you started today, would you still do this? Right? Because again, we we put all this energy into the sunk cost thing even like, well, the Titanic sinks, it’s sunk, right? Like I mean, fucking let it go. Right? They jump off the boat because it is sunk costs, and it hasn’t accelerated you or gotten you to where you think you should be by Now and if you were to, you know, kind of continue that trajectory, it’s down at this point, right? I love it. I love it. So, what, um, you know, let’s what is a, you know, a hit of spiritual dope for you like, you know what, you know, meditation, I mean, having, you know, maybe looking at your son, you know, what is what is something that, um, that’s just your pure hit a spiritual dope.

Elyse Archer 50:24
I mean, it’s totally hanging out with my son jack now like that’s just to see see the pureness of a little kid and to see how they just just their wholeness and their appearances, and his unfiltered laughter is so much fun. I absolutely love that. And then I think the other thing is just when I can show up and give or do something for somebody else that has nothing to do with me. And that’s actually, when I found myself a couple months ago, like going through some of that Panic of like, Oh, my God, am I doing making the wrong decision or the wrong choice? That’s part of how I would shift out of it is I would be like, What can I do for somebody else right now to get my head out of my ass and focus on what really matters. And that always, to me, that always helps. It’s that quick shift. It’s like, What can I do for someone else, whether it’s write a comment on their social media, whether it’s had a client who wants to book club, I was like, I’m gonna join my clients book club right now. And that’s gonna make him feel good when he looks in his inbox and sees that he’s got a new member. So just stuff like that. Right? It’s, it’s always kind of getting our focus off of ourselves.

Brandon Handley 51:31
I love this. I mean, it doesn’t have to be complex, right? You can go out there and kind of give of yourself and support somebody else in small meaningful ways. And you’re gonna feel better about yourself. Hmm,

Elyse Archer 51:42
yeah. Well, and it’s the whole Have you read the diamond cutter?

Unknown Speaker 51:46
No, I have not, oh, this

Unknown Speaker 51:48
will be a good one. I

Unknown Speaker 51:49
think you’ll be into this.

Elyse Archer 51:50
So the principle behind it is whatever you want for yourself, help someone else get it. So I’ve got my, my mastermind partner. She’s also going for seven figures in her business right now. So one of the things that I’ve done and I told her I was like, This is not entirely altruistic that I want to help you do this. Like, I’m really curious energetically how this works for me.

Brandon Handley 52:11
It’s interesting, though, at least, right? Like, when I started fatherhood, for the rest of us, it wasn’t for the pure reasons. Right? It really wasn’t and I can look back and I can say that right? I’m like, you know, I did this for all the wrong reasons. But I was doing the right things, even if it was for the right reasons, for all reasons. Yeah. And that kind of tilted the whatever right into into always say like, I’m like the Grinch my heart grew to sizes too large or whatever, right? Like it went from being like, you know, this thing to write. So I think that you and I think you know, are you know, when you collect new Java Roman back in the day, I remember him going into, you know, talking about that, right being like, what happens if you do the right things with like, the wrong reasons. Now, I would say and wrong reasons is really kind of hard. You can’t really say it’s for the wrong reasons. You’re really trying to do it for the benefit. Yes, of you. And of them, but like, you know, that kind of shakes off. Just Just for I mean, my experience has been that kind of shakes off like initially, it’s kind of like, I’m doing it mostly for me a little bit. You still feel okay, I’m doing it for like, you know, at least I’m not, you know, at least I’m not calling you an asshole, right? Like, you know, merger. Nobody’s a jerk. I’m doing all these things. And eventually, that it’s just kind of like rust away until like, this purity situation happens where like, that’s just becomes who you are. Right? So there’s really nothing wrong with like, trying on different clothes until you find the pair that fits.

Elyse Archer 53:38
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think it’s you always know because it’s the energy or doing something and like, how do you feel while you’re doing it? If you feel secretly like, with this, this friend of mine, who I’m helping, I’m just kinda like consulting and helping her for helping her hit seven figures in her business this year. It’s like, the energy that I feel around it when I do it. If I felt jealousy or if I felt scarcity or like, I should be spending the time on my own stuff. exactly what you’re talking about, right, like doing it for the wrong reasons. But I think it’s it’s, you can tell when you feel like whole excited, fulfilled, relaxed while you’re doing it. It’s really different.

Unknown Speaker 54:13
You are at ease. Yes,

Brandon Handley 54:15
you’re at ease and the things are easy. They’re simple. They’re fulfilling. Yeah, right. All right. Super awesome. As always to catch up with you. Unfortunately, we can’t stay on all day. So where can we send people to go find more Elise Archer,

Elyse Archer 54:33
thank you so much for having me. Elise. archer.com has all the things and then on all social media. I’m at Elise Archer. So with love, love, love to connect. I’ve got a podcast, she sells radio so people can check that out. It’s like sales with a healthy dose of spirituality.

Brandon Handley 54:49
Now, who would you say your ideal client is Elise?

Unknown Speaker 54:53
Hmm.

Elyse Archer 54:55
It’s often a younger me. And I’m not saying that in an egotistical way. It’s just I can really help them. A woman because I know

Unknown Speaker 55:00
what’s going on.

Elyse Archer 55:02
So it’s typically going to be a woman who is either a business owner or she’s in sales, she’s looking to break through her first six figures. And it’s like, something’s not quite clicked there. But she’s ready. And she’s probably a little bit turned off by a lot of what she’s being taught from either corporate sales training or from the book she’s reading and it just doesn’t quite feel right to her and she’s like, could I reach my goals in a way that actually feels really good to me and other people and I love helping that type of woman so that’s my ideal client.

Brandon Handley 55:32
awesome guys. Go

check out Lisa’s especially, you know, if you meet that description, I can promise you that, uh, you know, it’ll work out for you. Right? guarantee that, you know, to go through some of the coaching or some of the programs that Elise has offered, they will be valuable to you.

Unknown Speaker 55:48
Thank you, my friend. Thank you. This has been wonderful.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Longtime listener first time caller… that was me reaching out to Shelley… after years of running with some of the same crews, we finally connected on a podcast!

Shelley is full of great energy and wisdom… listen in you will not be disappointed!

With 27 years’ experience in the accounting industry from bookkeeping through purchasing to software integration and setup, Shelley’s Genesys Financial clients have included those of Graphic Arts, Manufacturing, IT, Automotive and the garment industries. 

Her focus later went to implementing and managing larger scale billing platforms and Project Management.  Her focus was on helping Entrepreneurs setup their Financial platforms and Business processes.  A financial professional with a marketing background Shelley is uniquely qualified and can see all sides of business from sales and marketing to purchasing to invoicing, always allowing her to think outside the box.   

In line with her varied interests her latest business, Living Well, has taken a passion for health and wellness to business by facilitating lifestyle changes for busy executives. As the health supplement portion of her business has gone International her love of traveling was often met through her business.    

https://livingwellwithshell.com/

Audio production done by Zane Niezgodzki

Insights & Takeaways:

  • Shelley talks about how she woke up with negative thoughts whirling thoughts “swirling the drain.” She knew this was not how she wanted to start the day, so Shelley says she went into her mind and “quieted my head and started going through what I wanted to see my day look like, how I wanted to give gratitude.” Shortly thereafter the whole feeling of hopelessness and negativity was gone.
  • 4:40 Brandon mentions “manifestation just means that it showed up because they put their thoughts, intention and will behind it in some way, shape or manner.”
  • 5:53 Shelley states “We’re just energetic beings having a physical experience, and power goes where we focus our energy. So, focus it somewhere positive that benefits you. Create some more high functioning you.”
  • 12:08 Shelley states emphatically “… recognize that we have emotional responses to those thought processes, and to the trauma that occurred to us or whatever as children… As adults, I truly believe and I’ve walked this journey for 20 years, we are responsible for healing it.”  {TK: WOW!!!}
  • Prayer can be meditation, meditation can just be going over what you’re grateful for (Gratitude Practice). Make this a habit. 

Spiritual Dope Eureka Moments!

  • 8:15 “So what I found in my early adulthood was I was always breaking out, but not in a positive way. Because I kept myself so contained all the time, that when I burst out, I usually got myself into trouble. And I needed to learn for myself how to live a more genuine, and aligned life…” [TK: YES! This is so relatable!]
  • 10:38 (This hit REALLY close to home.) Shelley talks about realizing as a parent, reflecting on her own parents’ parenting, that they “did the best with what they were given… and came with all their own baggage and all their own hurts and things.” [TK: Indeed. It took me until my mid-forties to stop judging my own upbringing by the light of perfection. My parents did the best with what they had. They weren’t intentionally “bad” or hurtful, they were doing what they felt was right. Different generations, different traumas and lifetimes, etc.]
  •  20:30 Shelley mentions Dr. Joe Dispenza’s teachings where he says the best way to create your future is to imagine it. But you have to live and imagine it already happening. [TK: This brings me back to Brandon’s coaching work with me, and the exercises where I would envision with all senses being in the ideal future!]
  • It’s all in your mind! (TK: IT IS!)
  • Quit apologizing to the world around you
  • https://livingwellwithshell.com/

Transcription by otter.ai

Unknown Speaker 0:02
You’re listening to the spiritual dope podcast with your host, Brandon Handley. The spiritual dope with today’s guest from living well with Shell Shelly shear, the spiritual worked out. Ready, set,

Brandon Handley 0:19
go. Hey there spiritual dope. Today I am on with Shelly shear she is a Vancouver based speaker, emerging author and coach. She spent 28 years as an accounting professional helping small to medium businesses navigate entrepreneurship while having a second side hustle. Her experience has crossed many industries from graphic design, manufacturing, automotive, spa, digital marketing, to hot dog vendors, it is give her a unique perspective into people and how they handle their businesses and themselves. She has a gift for finding logic, cool, logical, common sense solutions. She has a successful podcast that focuses on not living in regret and creating high functioning habits because she truly believes everyone is enough and should have an easier, more vibrant life. Thank you so much for joining today. How are you?

Shelley R Shearer 1:10
I am great. Thanks for having me. On if our listeners don’t know, we’ve known each other for a couple of years very casually because we took our podcasting course together four and a half years ago. Yeah. And it’s wonderful to see us both still here doing what we love to do.

Brandon Handley 1:22
Absolutely. I think that is really what I think is really funny was um, when you must have connected with me on instagram when I might, you know still under like Brandon Handley and I just switched that to spiritual dope. And then it like at some point like there was an aha moment where you realize that that that had happened like I was just praying in

Unknown Speaker 1:43
a second here.

Brandon Handley 1:46
So listen, how I like to start these off with his, you know, we were talking before this everybody’s connected to source source. You know, divinity, whatever speaks through us. We’re basically you know, vessels for the divine. And this podcast today, you are here to connect with somebody who’s listening. What is that message for that person coming through divine through you for that person?

Shelley R Shearer 2:12
My message today would definitely be emotions follow thoughts.

Brandon Handley 2:17
What do you mean by that?

Shelley R Shearer 2:19
Most people I find found in my own life as well that we are taught that we think and emotions are separate or that because of the way we feel we think a certain way and actually, that is improving quite an accurate the last 20 years during research and such that that’s not the case at all. In fact, we think a thought, then we have an emotion. And the reason that’s really important, in fact, I was literally brand brand new puppy in the house. It was sitting it was uptime is like Oh, I got to exercise her before I get on this podcast. I was going to do my own podcast today. And I’ll do it after. And that’s what actually was in my head because this morning I woke up myself personally, just rabbiting just swirling the drain. Just my thoughts were whirling in my mind. They were negative, there was nothing positive going on. It’s like I can’t get up and do this day like this. And that thought came to me it actually was something that I learned was kind of vocalize it’s something I’ve understood sort of in an innate level, but it was vocalized to me by someone Jan Jansen, I think mentioned it and of course, I was in a couple months back. And she said, emotions follow thoughts. And that’s what most people don’t accept, and also don’t consciously train themselves to change how they think. And it’s probably very much how I don’t know how you pronounce his last name, Tom, Bill,

Unknown Speaker 3:34
you know, the name

Shelley R Shearer 3:35
all over his all over Instagram, he’s got the thought Institute of some sort. And he very much hammers this home that you know, we need to control how we think. Yeah, so with that being said, You know, I was texting with the puppy for a quick little nap this morning. And I thought, This is not how I want to start my day. And so I immediately went into my mind quieted my head and started going through what I wanted to see my day look like, how I wanted to give gratitude. And my goodness, it took like a minute and then the rest was just bonus. It was like the whole feeling of hopelessness and negativity just left because where you focus is

Brandon Handley 4:16
in your life, right? Right. Right. And you know that you’re directing your energy into that space right and you’re literally that energy is what it takes for something to manifest whatever that means to people out there right because my wife and I always like I’ll say something about manifesting something’s like shit manifested this idea i think i don’t think you know what I mean. Totally. Yeah. manifestation just means that it showed up because they put their thoughts intention and well behind it in some way shape or madly, right? So no, I love I love that right emotions follow thought we’re gonna have to dig into that as we kind of see

Shelley R Shearer 4:52
if you can control things you’re thinking of and Jim quick that does the, the book on the learning the one that had the brain injury, he talks about this as well, because he’s trying to improve your memory. And there’s just so much now neuroscience behind it in the fact of gene expression and how we function, how we feel how we think. Now it’s the time in this day and age, especially with what’s going on in the world around us to really open up and say, let’s go research that a little bit. As you and I were chatting, just before we got on the on the actual podcast was, I grew up in a very, very religious home, very, very strict religious upbringing. believed and loved the certainty of the black and white of the knowledge at the time, especially as a teenager, and then you know, walked away later. And now I’ve come back to it because I believe in the law of attraction. So whether someone uses God or universe or Supreme, I don’t care. Right, right. Right. Energy interchangeable. Totally. Because we’re just energetic beings having a physical experience. Yeah. And power goes where we focus our energy. So focus it somewhere positive that benefits you create some more high functioning you Yeah, your

Brandon Handley 6:03
choice is a choice. There’s a couple pieces in that. I mean, even today, I picked up some random article that scientists are saying, there’s a 5050 shot that, um, we are in a construct, we are in, you know, a program, the matrix, like a lizard is a 5050 shot. So, you know, the same way there’s a 5050 shot as to whether or not there’s an afterlife, right, right. So why not kind of like, make those choices consciously on what you believe? Because you have a 5050 shot? Mm hmm. Right. So um, so let’s talk a little bit about like, I love, I love your podcast, I think it’s really well done. You handle the guests very well, you’re so well spoken, and you bring this energy that you’re bringing, you know, today, to your podcast, what you know, let’s talk about kind of how you found yourself in the space that you’re at now. And let’s give it like the leading with spirituality that you do now, like I’ve heard you, like, kind of referenced the woowoo. But like, or intuition, you know, how have you integrated that into your life and found more or less fulfillment from it? Like, how’s that? How’s that showing up in your life?

Shelley R Shearer 7:16
Well, it’s funny, cuz it’s something you said earlier about how you’ve manifested it, No, honey, honestly, doesn’t matter that you’re finding all the coincidences I still manifested. Because those are the those are the tracks that lead you to where you’re going. And you can call it coincidence, or you can own it, and I prefer to own it. And like I said, four and a half years ago, you and I took a podcasting course. Now, just just a little quick on that one. That was a very funny thing, how that happened. I went to a Make Your Mark event here in Canada, and signed up for speaking from stage because I wanted to find my voice. I’ve always just felt a little bit like I you know, grew up with the, you know, be seen and not heard one of female coming out of the 60s and 70s very autocratic father very religious upbringing. So lots of rules, lots of rigidity. And I’m clearly not that. So what I found in my early adulthood was I was always breaking out, but not in a positive way. Because I kept myself so contained all the time, that when I burst out, I usually got myself into trouble. And I needed to learn for myself how to live a more genuine and, and aligned life, and got very lucky in my 20s to attend a course called the pursuit of excellence, which talks about the filters to which we see the world and also talks about personality traits. So really, right from my 20s, very young, the universe kept putting the stuff in my path, awakening me awareness, opening my scope of reference, because really, like I say, I was raised in the box. Also, though, my dad was what was so funny is my dad’s an entrepreneur. So there was reason a box and I was a female.

Brandon Handley 8:55
Um, you know, what I love about your story that too, is that your dad became a successful entrepreneur after the age of 40, right?

Unknown Speaker 9:02
Yes. Oh, you do listen to my podcast.

Shelley R Shearer 9:06
Clearly, oh, you’re such a sweetheart. Yes, he did. And yet, when he looked at my life, he wanted it all to be planned out, you know,

Brandon Handley 9:15
as a parent, though, right? As a parent, and and him maybe not having found his stride, and this is me talking to right as a

Unknown Speaker 9:22
parent, and you, you are the parent,

Brandon Handley 9:24
right? It’s like, it’s like, you know, I did it in a very uncontrolled manner, how I got to where I am today is a miracle. But, um, knowing kind of what I know, it’s like, you know, here’s how you can truly succeed with ease. And that’s what you try to impart to your children. And we know that children are like, that’s not gonna work for me. I’m not to figure out my own way. You’re like, fine. I know. And

Shelley R Shearer 9:46
that I think, as a parent, that has got to be the hardest thing. The absolute hardest thing. I know, I did, you know, I only have the one son, and he has been through some very serious challenges in his life. In fact, we’ve just kind of recently he doesn’t want to Talking about this i’m not saying anything he’s not okay with. We thought he had bipolar for a number of years and have been battling that only to find out he’s on the spectrum actually. And it made so much more sense. It’s just he was so high functioning as a child, they never caught it. Yeah. And it wasn’t till I was, you know, he was going into kindergarten grade one and I was in an abusive relationship, and psychiatrists got brought in to assess the situation, and they will deal with ADD, and we carried on and then later in life when things were imploding, it’s like something else is going on here.

Brandon Handley 10:27
So it’s right there, the tools right there, right, the tools weren’t there. The tools, you know, didn’t really exist. Exactly then but but I’d love to hear that, you know, you’re fine. You’re catching it now. Right.

Shelley R Shearer 10:38
And I felt I did the best I could with what I had that something I think people need to give himself grace for more, I really had to learn to do that with my own parents and forgiveness. They did the best with the not with what they were given. Yeah, it came with all their own baggage and all their own hurts and, and things. Sure, um, then I became an adult and the parents I look back and going, I didn’t do that perfectly. But perfection is a lie. It’s not real. If this is just a journey, we’ve got to keep going on. So I handled it you know, in a manner as education again, so then we come back to the kind of again the with the high functioning, right, even when he was diagnosed, my attitude was you’re not going on Ritalin, and we’re not living on drugs. It was learn about what ad D or ADHD was at the time. And I behaved it with behavior modification was lis one thing at a time. Like he was the kid that melted at the front door. If you gave him three things to do. He’d be sitting there with the backpack, unpacked one shoe in his hand, and crying. It’s like I asked you to put your shoes on grab your knapsack can walk out the door, like it

Unknown Speaker 11:35
wasn’t that difficult. But this

Shelley R Shearer 11:37
is me being a very high functioning a tech personality seeing that child? No, it simply wasn’t connecting. Yeah, all those things. Yeah. Yeah. So we got you know, we like you say the tools weren’t there. But I was lucky enough again, to me kind of a few people got on to those you say the woowoo side of things. Yeah. To me. It’s just the holistic, natural side of things. Anti drug? As much as possible. I have nothing against medical Oh my gosh. Yes, that dental surgery. Thank you God for painkillers and antibiotics,

Unknown Speaker 12:06
right, yeah.

Shelley R Shearer 12:08
But I don’t want those corrections being part of everyone’s everyday life now, simply because they don’t understand how to control their thought process. And then recognize that we have emotional responses to those thought processes, and to the trauma that occurred to us, you know, we’re not to blame for the trauma that was given done to us or whatever is children. But as adults, I truly believe and I’ve walked this journey for 20 years, we are responsible for healing it, address it. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 12:34
address it just for having children. I mean, look, just it’s not. I don’t know, I, it’s hard to say like, it’s, you know, you can never say like, I know, that I always refer to kind of grown up, it was pretty easy, right? There’s some shit that happen. And but like, you just kind of look at it and be like, well, that’s just really gave me the ability to withstand X, Y, or Z or gave me strength or, you know, that’s, you know, or, or like, he’ll it right, but like, let’s just feel that address it wholly absorbed that that happened. and move on. Right. Like, let that be. The dragon the wind or whatever, right? Don’t

Shelley R Shearer 13:13
let it define you. Right. Yeah, that makes me sad when I let people see such negativity or illness in their life. define them as a person. Right,

Brandon Handley 13:21
right. Well, I mean, you know, so talk about that for yourself. You’re doing the fibromyalgia. Right, isn’t that? Yes. I mean, you know, I and I, I imagined that initially, you did kind of let it define you and kind of slow you down.

Unknown Speaker 13:38
Ooh, solid years. Yeah. Talk

Brandon Handley 13:41
about that. That because that can’t be easy.

Shelley R Shearer 13:44
I’m sure the property and one of the hardest things probably about things like fibro and mental illness are they are silent. Hmm. I’m like my puppy right now. Um, if this gets if she gets a little whiny, we can just stop and you can edit for me and I’ll do something with her. But that happens people people get very caught up in it. And I did. I was like, how this can be happening to me. I was functioning as a personality. I was working it was built a new house. It’s like, Are you kidding me? And leave me flat for two years until I learned to adjust, get my pain under control even tried to drug route for a little bit. And then the side effects were brutal. You know, there’s just a lot of suicidal thoughts and things and my husband, I were like, We can’t live this way. Alright, so it was a long journey. And I went again, right back into the holistic world of how do I support my body? How do I give myself and sometimes that just want to sit on the same silly napping. napping was a huge thing. I follow naps. But that ego of mine, yes. fought me tooth and nail and we’re stronger than this. We’re better than this. We don’t need this. Yes, we do. That’s the West.

Brandon Handley 14:52
That’s the western day. That’s the western mentality.

Shelley R Shearer 14:57
Absolutely. Yeah. So um, so a child of the 80s I was raised in that women can have it all nonsense have we have full time careers husbands that we wait still do the 1960s housewife thing through, and three children and don’t have House Cleaners?

Brandon Handley 15:11
You guys got back, man. I mean, even kidding me, I still I still I’m still very frustrated. Like, and like, you know, I believe women can do whatever they want be wherever they want, but to make a society where like, you know, you can’t have at least one parent at home, to be with the family or something to make to make that success in the material realm. You know, based on sex, right, be like, Oh, you can do it, I can do it. And we’re all gonna go do it like, Well, you know, who’s, where’s this other human aspect where, like, you know, that’s cool. You go ahead, I don’t even like going to work. So you know, somebody wants to show up and be like, you know what, I got this, you just stay home take care of children, um, like I’m in. Right. So I get frustrated from time to time just because that’s, you know, we’re, I feel like it was, you know, I’m not a I’m not a you know, conspiracy guy or anything like that. Like, I do feel like, you know, that was that was forced on forced on us.

Shelley R Shearer 16:12
Okay, you’re talking to Adam, because you know, he doesn’t he have a brilliant way of describing. So let me explain to me how explain surely how women completely got. How did you subserve his word for it? Where Yes, you had this great life where you were looking after the next generation, creating human beings being there having this whole emotional support for your family. And society walked in and said, Oh, but you don’t really want that, right? You want to go to work for 10 hours, like your husband does, and then still come home and do that all in two hours a night? Are you kidding me? And now requires two incomes to have a home,

Brandon Handley 16:45
but it wasn’t and it wasn’t there. That was your idea you want you forced it? Right. Like I mean, you know, so. So really interesting. Sorry to get off topic.

Shelley R Shearer 16:53
No, that’s okay. I want to vote not to like be a slave.

Brandon Handley 16:56
Right, right. Right. Right. Right. just crazy stuff. Crazy stuff. It is.

Shelley R Shearer 17:02
So you, you’d asked me about my fibro. So yeah, it was a long journey for a couple of years ago when we changed houses. And it gave us options because my income was right out the door. And I had an accounting professional income. So needless to say, that was missed. And there was nothing in the Canadian system, even what we call CPP up here, for this particular disease, there was no sort of long term disability or anything. And I was funny, you know what, as a single Mum, I carried all those extras, insurances for years. But when I got married, after a couple years, I let them go is like in our truck. Ryan was raised, we can both afford to pay the mortgage, we had life insurance in case something happened to either one of us, and I let all that extra stuff going. Hmm, not sure what it helped. But you kind of look back in hindsight, in really so that’s actually was one of the things that started me finding my voice was when I started moving myself forward, it immediately was how do I help other people do the same thing? Right? How do I encourage them to not be defined by a disease, and for me a big part of it, it was on another friend’s podcast a couple months back. And we talked very in depth in this because she deals with women or audiences, middle aged women. And she’d asked, you know, as a silent disease, no one can see it, what do you do you find support. And I believe that in any area of your life, though, find the support around you. And the sad part is, I hate to say it, it’s not always family. It wasn’t for me, and people really just always want it to be, they decide, I might need this, or I want this, but it has to be this person. And that is a tough limiting belief to let go for a lot of people because often that isn’t who’s going to be your biggest support.

Brandon Handley 18:37
I think that families too close, right to too close to the situation. And, you know, they know you from you know, they they know too much about you. Mistake you’ve ever made. Right. Right. And so they play out like the the history of you. Right versus

Shelley R Shearer 18:53
well, sad.

Brandon Handley 18:54
Right? So and that and that’s it. That’s not an easy transition mental model to shift. Right? So, you know, when you go to Thanksgiving dinner or whatever, you guys just happy Thanksgiving on Monday, right? You know, when you go to that dinner, you’re surrounded by family and they talk about all the old you and all the old stories and and all this other stuff. Whereas like your focus is, the future is so amazing. And I’m so excited. Let’s talk about what’s the calm? Yes. Like I’m giving you we talked about, you know, law of attraction with a lot of people. You know, I don’t know that many people actually in the space but giving thanks for you know, everything has already been done. Everything’s already been created. It’s just simply our awareness of that creation. So giving thanks for everything that’s already been done. includes the future. Yes, it does.

Shelley R Shearer 19:49
Right. Because that is something that Joe dispenza talks about. And he Now speaking of being left a center for me. He has taken me into a whole nother realm of my Christian beliefs, like Where do we go with this? He just has a spectacular way of looking at things he says the best way to create your future is to is to imagine it. But you have to live in imagine it already have happening. That’s right. Now something that kind of that he says that I really have taken to heart and I was talking to a girl from the other day, and she was going through a rough time. And I said, You know what, we have to remember that our memories, when we’re remembering something, we’re still living them in the now. Because our souls or spirits don’t differentiate necessarily to timelines. I look in the mirror and I see the wrinkles, and I see my hair graying. And I know time is passing, because my body is aging. Hmm. But my aunt told me once when I was very young, surely what you’ll understand, I was just like, barely even 30. And she said, You will know when you get older, your spirit has an age just you do. It’s all right. In my mind’s eye, I’m still the same person. You know,

Brandon Handley 20:52
it’s so funny, you say that? I always, you know, so I was doing Jiu Jitsu for a while until COVID. And go in there and hang out with people. And you guys are being guys talking about? I’d be getting in there with a younger guy, like, come on old guy, or you’re, you know, you’re just getting old or I was like, I’m not getting all my body’s getting old. Right leg? You know, I’m like, as you know, nothing has changed. Right? Now, there’s

Shelley R Shearer 21:15
my wisdom. Yeah, and whatever, which is fantastic. Right? Oh, you’ve had this all blessing us at

Brandon Handley 21:23

  1. That’s funny, because I remember you saying that earlier to, just to how, you know, you wouldn’t exchange the wisdom right now for youth. But there’s always that other line too, that people are always cracking, which is on this makes me think of your dad, too, is, you know, what would you do? What would you tell your 20 year old self, you know, and and really what they’re saying is like, especially now I think even at our age, and when your dad was 40 is like, when you realize all the wisdom that you have, like, I’m just gonna go ahead and use this for the next 2015 1520 years. Right. So yeah, you know,

Shelley R Shearer 21:58
that’s a very good point about having grace. Because my dad has a great education was raised and born in Saskatchewan, one of nine, and he’s one of the youngest of that crew. Very, very brutal, straight out of second generation British parents, very different upbringing. So now he married a city girl with an education and a working father, that worked professionally. So my parents are actually kind of funny that way, but well suited to each other’s strengths. So I could see him as a father and later in life saying, Oh, no, please don’t let my children go through what I went through, like, go get an education, right? Get a career. And he always wanted me to get something good. I could go somewhere that he could travel to meet me. He’s like, I need you to go work in Australia or something, Shelly honey,

Unknown Speaker 22:41
so I can run?

Shelley R Shearer 22:43
Okay, that’ll get right on that. So let’s just go for physical therapy and got nowhere with it. But regardless, I could see you have very valid point as a parent, right? Don’t do it, you know, don’t do what I did don’t make my mistakes. Right? Well,

Brandon Handley 22:56
that’s what we try to do. All we’re trying to do is like, man, here’s my list. And just like, don’t do any of this, right? Or, you know, and this is this is, this is why I feel like I’m very lucky to be a parent in this time and age, right, I started fatherhood for the rest of us, that was the first podcast. And that was, you know, learning the positive opposites. Right? You don’t, right? And this plays right into law of attraction is play, right? And everything else, right? You don’t think about what you don’t want your children to? Do? You tell them what you want them to do? Exactly. Because otherwise, you’re already creating the image in their mind of what you don’t want them to do. And as you and I know, the subconscious doesn’t see yes or no, they just see the picture

Shelley R Shearer 23:34
exactly right or wrong. Even if it doesn’t differentiate, it just sees the picture that you’re playing, just like having the comment about the memories, every time. I mean, remember things, it’s fun, but recognize that you need to like, let it go and go back to where it belongs. Because otherwise, you’re living your current existence in that memory. And if that memory and those experiences are negative, or bad, you are bringing them into your current circumstances, like this morning, every single day of your life. No wonder there is no positive emotion going forward. Because your thoughts are all in the past and all the negativity. Absolutely. I

Brandon Handley 24:11
mean, look, it’s in the word right and negative being like a re cursor, right? Like we did that. Um, so what one thing that you talked about this morning, too, was, you know, waking up and catching and creating a vision for the day?

Shelley R Shearer 24:27
Yes, very much.

Brandon Handley 24:29
Is that a daily practice?

Unknown Speaker 24:31
Yes, very much. So.

Brandon Handley 24:32
What’s that, like, you know, for the audience.

Shelley R Shearer 24:37
No matter what I have positive or negative to say about my upbringing, prayer was instigated in my life. And that makes meditation for me quite easy. And because I never had grew up in the Catholic religion where I had to worry about talking to a priest. It was always a direct contact, contact or conversation sorry with source. Meditation for me is really that now which is why I talk about in my little ebook I don’t care if you’re lying in bed in the morning, or it’s just before you’re going to sleep at night, let your mind wander and just go over the positives or go over what you want to see happen. show gratitude for whatever’s in your life, what’s going on in that day. Because that now is in the subconscious, like you say, the subconscious isn’t there to differentiate between all of this is just waiting for you to give it you know, to activate. And so activate on the positive activate on what you’re grateful for. So yes, that is very, very much a daily thing for me. In fact, I even got into the habit of doing a sitting here, a gratitude journal, and someone knows, and of course, one day and you just buy them. And that for people, it’s like people who go on diets, I always say get an app on your phone and write down everything for a week, though. Because your awareness you need to see because they’re like, cheating. I don’t eat sugar. Mm hmm. Yeah, it’s every thing.

Brandon Handley 25:53
Whatever you track, right? Whatever you track, you pay, you can measure. Yeah, you can measure as well.

Shelley R Shearer 25:58
So my gratitude journal was that’s became a habit at nighttime, just even if it was just three lines. It’s like, I’m tired. I don’t wanna do this right now. I made myself do it. It was a habit to do it that way. 80% of the time, it was getting done.

Brandon Handley 26:11
Yeah, no, I mean, you’re lucky and you can’t beat yourself up if you don’t do it. Right. Like it’s these are. And I think that that’s one of the problems. Not a problem. It’s just one of our, again, another Western civilization Quirk. Right. Which is, which is Oh, I missed the day. I guess I’m never gonna do it again. Oh, right. It’s all or nothing.

Shelley R Shearer 26:32
Oh, I hear coaches talk about that all the time. Fitness coaches, anything is like, no, get back up on the horse The next day, please. That’s why I say to people what I used to coach health stuff because I was in a network marketing company for a couple years. It was just kind of fun. And it really spoke to my need just to be healthier. Because I’ve always been a bit of a nutcase. Like always a bit of a health nut, what you do 80% of the time is a good habit. Hmm. Not the one day a week or the every now and then, where you just blow it all to smithereens. And you haven’t gone to the gym in a week or when on vacation and drank every day. Okay, great. You did that writing on, right act to your routine. Oh, and if you can get those habits in place, and they are there 8% of the time, you will slip back to them because it’s your norm.

Brandon Handley 27:15
Right. Well, I mean, that was one of the things that we learned with this podcasting course was, you know, your default pattern, right? I know that that was one of the places I first picked up on how your default patterns was through, you know, Sam,

Shelley R Shearer 27:30
right and consistency, Sam, just, you know, what, what is he? What does Sam always say? My favorite expression is Sam. Repetition reduces resistance. Yeah, I

Brandon Handley 27:39
haven’t listened for a while. But um, you know, I still love them like it without without going through that I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t be where I am today. And so let’s talk about what is it you’re doing right now? Are you doing the coaching? Are you? Yes.

Shelley R Shearer 27:51
So just getting you just very small. It’s just a very, it’s new. It’s new to me for now. I started coaching back in January, took on my first clients, okay, and it didn’t actually want to do it. At first, my coach was making me I just want to public speak, I love to talk.

Brandon Handley 28:06
Clearly, you do their job, but you’re very well spoken. So thanks, sweetie. Putting it to good use.

Shelley R Shearer 28:12
And I wanted to write a book. But it was like you still have to earn a living. And also there’s always there’s always the attitude with coaching is that you can’t keep all that knowledge to yourself, if you’re not, and I’m definitely so I talk about things in my podcasts, something called the sacred gifts. And it was a course I took a number of years ago and that lady is now a personal friend of mine, even though I quote and I called her, Monique ladette MacDonald, Monique, l e da Tila that you can find her anywhere sacred gifts, okay. And she talks about the things that are innately in us, like right out of the gate is one of those neat courses where you take and you realize, Oh, that’s not me. That’s a skill set. Like administration. I worked in an office for 30 years. All right, not my gift. Okay, I just learned to get good at it. So you can still have great skill sets and everything. But I have the gift of what they call service, and hospitality and knowledge. Those are my three main gifts. So I have to learn stuff. But then I also have to share it with you because what makes it a gift is that you share it with the world. So although I love music, I don’t have a gift of music, things like that. It’s something I definitely never share with the world.

Unknown Speaker 29:19
It’s just not pleasant.

Shelley R Shearer 29:20
But the gift of service was and what I realized early on in my accounting career was that gift was always in play with the smaller clients I was servicing. I was helping you was hospitality was even involved in my knowledge was needed. Right? When I got to be later in life when I was at companies like Bell Canada, one of those big telco companies here in Canada. those gifts were not engaged in I load my accounting work. I thought what happened? It’s the same job. So I’m making more money and I’ve got people reporting to me and I hated it hated every minute of it. So gifts are really important. So the gift of services there regardless and it’s innate in me. Therefore, if I know knowledge, I have to be able to share it and coaching is the best way to do that.

Brandon Handley 30:00
Yeah, I love it. I love. I love coaching, I love sharing out that knowledge I love. I love seeing somebody go through the journey, right? I love, I love seeing them come into it too, you know, and just being able to recognize it like just on a visual cue or even like through some phrases, if somebody’s like, typing in like Facebook or somewhere and you’re like, I know exactly where you are, I know exactly what’s going on in your mind. And we should talk, you know, and you know, and that’s it’s not a, it’s not a sign of transaction I’m looking for, right? It’s like, Look, this is I can help you if you’d like, kind of thing, right? Or like, so so I get that. And I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it called, here’s another one of my little rants. But I’ve seen it called, you know, generational knowledge, right? We need to, we need to pass that generational knowledge. Yes. Right. So I feel almost, and I’m sure there’s not intentional in any way, shape or form. But if you look at Western civilization again, especially in the US and Canada, the generations have been divided very much almost purposely, right? Like almost, you know, so, you know, when you get too old, they’re like, well, we got to ship you off. We can’t take care of you anymore. But like who, where’s where’s, where are the elders, and in that situation, right to pass,

Shelley R Shearer 31:22
which is a completely score, fundamental belief system, in every Aboriginal or ancient civilization in history. Right. The elders are the holders of the knowledge. We’ve got to the point that as soon as our kids hit nine, we’ve got them labeled as Tweenies, or millennials, there’s, so they’ve got this lovely little label, and then they start buying into that indoctrinated propaganda. It’s like, No, no, no, stop right now, please. Because all you are right now is just young, you might be growing up in different technology than us. Fair enough. But I think one of our biggest advantages, and just why cannot stand people to say things Oh, I can’t be bothered that things will never change.

Unknown Speaker 32:00
Really?

Shelley R Shearer 32:03
Because I’m pretty sure 200 years ago, you would dive in infection because penicillin wasn’t invented yet. So that’s sort of, you know, willful ignorance. Crazy. Yes, for sure. Do not put our children into a box and then do not ship off for elderly. Right? There is a humongous disconnect here in our society in this in this area.

Brandon Handley 32:20
Right. Yeah. So you see to salutely All right, all right. So you know, this, this kind of innate ability, the, you know, connected to source, kind of reconnecting back to source like, kind of after pushing it aside, or, or just not recognizing it for what it was for a while how, you know, how did that show back up in your life? And what’s it been like, since then?

Shelley R Shearer 32:48
I’d have to see it showed back up when I got a handle on accepting that this wasn’t a punishment, because that’s how I felt I felt God punished me with fibro. Hmm, I get you know, and it’s funny, because I wasn’t raised necessarily with some of the Catholic belief systems that you know, that things happen because you’ve been naughty, or that you need to do good things to earn your way into heaven. And like I say, remember, I’m married to a Catholic, and a very good friend. So some of this stuff is not I may know, I’ve talked to these people, I know how some of the religious doctrine works. And I’ve never, I’ve always believed in grace, because being in the Pentecostal church are simply saved, you know, you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, and the sins are forgiven. And when you’re raised with that sort of belief structure, it often makes me surprised how many people hang on to so much guilt and shame, because it’s like, well, if you truly believe that you can change as a person and that there was grace and there is forgiveness from a higher source. And Shouldn’t you be living in that in that grace? And that, that good stuff,

Unknown Speaker 33:54
right? Why wouldn’t you be?

Shelley R Shearer 33:56
Exactly So for me, when I came to the realization that this was not a punishment, and when I also started coaching with my own coach to say, this is a journey, and there’s lessons here I need to learn one of the things in you, you and I have Adam in common. One of the his strong belief structures is

Unknown Speaker 34:16
so you’re able to edit this

Unknown Speaker 34:17
will be good people have dogs,

Unknown Speaker 34:21
because

Unknown Speaker 34:22
you can always get up and walk away for a second and I can monitor if you’re, it’s okay.

Unknown Speaker 34:28
All she’s doing, she can’t

Unknown Speaker 34:29
see.

Shelley R Shearer 34:31
So one of the things that he really hammered home for me in our coaching sessions were that life happens for me, not to me,

Brandon Handley 34:37
that’s a great trend. And

Shelley R Shearer 34:38
when you can get your head around that as an individual, it changes everything. It changes how you look at every situation. And in fact, although maybe not 100%, you know, across the board relatable, it saved my marriage even when I was struggling a year or two ago because instead of looking at the lame, like, what are you doing? And how I’m feeling about it? Sure. Again, back to the emotions follow thoughts. Of course, I’m going to think negative or feel negatives, when all I’m thinking is he’s this he’s that he’s, what other response is your body going to have? Or your subconscious going to accept? Negative? Yeah. So when you can take responsibility for yourself, which is what really started this journey, and then believe that life is for me, well, if it’s for me, then that means everything is for me. So what do I need to take out of this situation? Well, I wouldn’t have a podcast, I wouldn’t be coaching, which I love. Excuse me, I wouldn’t have been able to even help my son through so much of what he’s gone through the last few years, because I was literally just two steps ahead of him going through my own stuff. I wouldn’t have been able to repair some of the relationship with my parents. And now that you know, there are failures, you know, they’ve got dimension, my mother has been diagnosed as well. So she doesn’t remember speaking me sometimes the day before, which is very sad. But it made me look at all of that very, very differently. What was the lesson here for me?

Brandon Handley 36:11
The idea of taking 100% ownership for your life. You know, I understood the concept, and I went and I saw cheese. Who’s the Chicken Soup for the Soul guy? Okay, so I went saw him. He really great. Yeah, really great presenter, right. But he said, You know, he goes, just try it for a little bit, just try to take 100% ownership, because because if you take you know, 100% ownership for everything, everything, including like everything, everything included yet, then you know everything, it’s on you, right, you’ve got that responsibility. But if you just take responsibility for 99% of it, that’s, that’s not gonna work. Right? So you’ve just so much is 1% can throw it off for you. And it’s kinda like you said to, you know, they say this, and I think the data, you know, either all of it, or none of it is God. And just like Albert Einstein says, to either everything or nothing is a miracle. Right? Like miracles. So I love that mindset, right, and making that shift that the world is out there for you. I don’t know if you’re familiar with a book that I love is called, are you ready to succeed? Um, I’ve

Shelley R Shearer 37:29
read that one.

Brandon Handley 37:30
So make a note of that one. Oh, good. I mean, I’m on my, I’ll probably read it for my fourth time this year, because, you know, I’ll read like a chapter a week, and you do the exercises in it, and you go through it. And in that book, he just talks about how you know, of Indian descent.

Unknown Speaker 37:46
How

Brandon Handley 37:48
the benevolent universe has Montana, right? It’s a benevolent universe. And if you can find, you know, what good the universe is kind of doing for you on your behalf today, then, that’s a game changer. It is. And also to your relationship example, right? I view my relationship as a gift and opportunity for me to recognize what my triggers are. Right? If

Unknown Speaker 38:16
that’s a good one. Yes. Right. Your

Brandon Handley 38:18
triggers are what are my triggers? Right? Because if I’m, if I’m, you know, it goes to that, that little letter writing exercise I’m sure you’re familiar with, like, if I write you a letter, if I write a letter to someone that’s pissing me off, and blah, blah, blah, and all these things that are annoying me about them? That’s a reflection on myself. Right? Yes. Well, so the reverse is true, though, too. So if I write a letter of like, all the admirable traits, you know, those are the things I admire about myself, right? So I’ll catch myself in the relationship situation be like, Oh, my gosh, she doesn’t do those who didn’t do that? I’m like, neither did I. Right. Right. So so I just look at it as kind of like an opportunity for me to recognize what my triggers are. And that was a lesson for me, because and again, too, if we don’t address those triggers are the things that are always blown up in our face, they will always be there.

Shelley R Shearer 39:09
Yes. And they will always control you. So you will always be doing the neat what we like, like I like to call the knee jerk reaction versus the planned response. Where would you rather live that planned response or a knee jerk situation where your subconscious is controlling? I always love that analogy with the iceberg. And there’s the waterline, and here’s what everyone sees what we think is our reality, right? And then this is our subconscious, huge compared to up here.

Brandon Handley 39:37
Right? Right. So I mean, the video may not go out so I’m gonna just explain so you know, she, she just drew like, kind of a triangle and it’s literally only like, in 5% maybe on the top and 95% on the bottom, which, you know, I always we can accord to your conscious and your subconscious. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So, um,

Unknown Speaker 39:58
you know, the

Brandon Handley 39:59
idea Spiritual dope is kind of like, we can get these spiritual, right we can get like these spiritual highs, right? Like it just like like, Oh man, I just feel like so filled with source and just filled with life. What where does that come for you like what are some of your spiritual highs? What are some of your spiritual dopes?

Shelley R Shearer 40:21
Definitely family and when I say that I’m married into an amazing family, and I have my granddaughter as well. And you know, it’s funny, you should just mention that. For some reason, it just popped into my mind growing up with the Bible, and the fact that you were two or more gathered together, the Bible says there will be also wood, you know what, that is actually a universal truth. And we see it every day and mob mentality, we thinking how does all those people get crazy and will because they became a group and the energy became a force of nature, the negativity that a few people were feeling, they surrounded themselves with it. So I remember my parents telling me growing up, he was very important to go to church on Sunday for that food. And I’m thinking as I got older, like, whatever. But actually, that is very true in our lives. It doesn’t necessarily have to be church for you find the friends, I found my tribe, and especially my neighborhood. So when I got sick, and we were able to move up the street into a house that had rental suite, so we didn’t have to downsize was a gift, just a gift from God. And because these people, these ladies, especially in this neighborhood, and even the men, they’re our friends, they’re our support network. And where we are gathered together, there is positive energy. And there is thought and there is solutions talked about and not just gossip that we’re looking for. You need to make a decision and actively go search for that in your life. Now, if it’s going to church on Sundays, great, just don’t get involved in a lot of negativities everyone’s going to hell but you nonsense, because that’s really roughly not going to give you what you need. There are still reasons why people gather, right? Why there are powers in numbers because exponentially our energetic beings of ourselves or a field grow and feed off each other. That’s why kids and gangs run around doing bad things. And it gets worse. And the opposite is true. For sure.

Brandon Handley 42:16
I just finished reading on force versus power by Dr. David Hawkins. And he talks a little bit about this too. Like I mean, this is a you read about you read about people to spend time with Yogi’s, right and how they’re all just kind of sitting there and meditation and then all of a sudden, like they get that whatever happens right? They get that head of spiritual dope and like what, but he calls it it’s a vibrational entrainment. So like, if you guys are all hanging out vibrating at a certain level, then you guys are also increasing each other’s vibration.

Shelley R Shearer 42:48
Exactly. or something. I actively search for that in my life. Yeah,

Brandon Handley 42:53
yeah, no, absolutely. But I mean, that’s what they tell you to go find people that are beyond where you are today, right? go seek those people out. And for the people that are listening that like the woowoo stuff, that’s one of the reasons why is because you are in an entrainment field then. Right,

Shelley R Shearer 43:11
exactly.

Brandon Handley 43:12
How much fun is that? Like, I mean, it may make us right makes me and that’s and i think that i think that you know, again, this podcast is also geared towards like taking all this spiritual energy and applying it to a successful kind of business and place What would you say, you know, how have you taken like your spiritual energy and infused that to a more holistic business practice? I would say

Shelley R Shearer 43:41
I don’t think I will actually the simple answer that is I don’t think I could coach without it if I hadn’t made that choice and that change wouldn’t be coaching okay. I just wouldn’t be I was my old self is too logical to right or wrong to not self yes an ego but I was very independent and bit bit of a loner, and I still am to a certain extent I’m what they call an extroverted introvert. I need a lot of downtime to recover. And being I guess, being a bit of Pathak, I guess they call it people’s emotions affect me. And I really had to learn to protect myself while still giving back. So if I hadn’t come to some of those realizations, yeah, I would still just be doing accounting work and worrying about debits and credits, not about people’s well being.

Brandon Handley 44:27
Tell me tell me a tool or visualization or something you use to protect your energies. And I asked this because I don’t have that problem. Like I like I am. I’m not an MP, right. Like I like, I like people and I feel your emotions and we’re all cool, but like it doesn’t. I don’t feel it. Right. So but I do know people that experienced the same thing. So what do you do to protect your energy?

Unknown Speaker 44:58
Yeah. Oh,

Shelley R Shearer 44:59
that’s an interesting one. I have to be careful what I read and watch on TV for starters. Okay, very much so because it affects me, it affects my sleep and affects my thought patterns. I do take a lot of quiet downtime. And in fact, we’ll be going back, you know, we don’t wait up to our family’s home in penticton, which the Okanagan Valley here in BC, fruit wine country for us, that’s lovely. And we have a little house that I lived in as a child and has always stayed in the family. And I’m going to head back up there for a few weeks. Next month on my own, I want to do the outline for the book, because I just need to be out of the energetic field of sometimes all the chaos that’s even going on in my own home. Just people I’ve had students that live with us and get it done. And I do you need to just decompress a lot, watching what goes in my brain, I take it all on. And what I didn’t realize is when I was younger, one of the things about being my personality trait was amplified in this aspect, not realizing I had empathic abilities, in the fact that I just shut myself down, I built a really strong wall around myself, and didn’t let me out very often. Because they didn’t know how to protect that it was just I might as well have just, you know, stuck my heart out of my chest, lay there and let you poke needles at it. And it’s like, that’s just a bizarre visual. But that’s almost like what felt like to me. So now I work very hard at not over scheduling my days. And not being with people day in and day out. I cannot do that very hard to my husband who’s a true extrovert. But for me, people drain me they don’t charge me He is a full on. We’ve done this, this and this now let’s go to the after party because I’m gonna get you set up. I’m like, Oh my gosh, let

Brandon Handley 46:37
me go home to my bathtub. Definitely, definitely more the after party kind of guy. That’s okay. So

Shelley R Shearer 46:44
you’re the after party and kind of guy or not.

Brandon Handley 46:45
I am okay. At least I was right. Like, I mean, it’s been, you know, my whole journey has been, you know, just kind of letting go some of the things that didn’t serve me like so now I’ll shut down and be like, you know, if I’m in a fun man and party atmosphere, I’m like, nothing here for me go have fun. I’ll see you guys later. Right? Like, because I’d rather go watch Autobiography of a yoga

Shelley R Shearer 47:10
Yogi. Okay, you know what I mean? But that’s the big thing is recognizing it about yourself. So many people remove themselves from the situation without understanding why they’re doing it. The understanding of the motivation is

Brandon Handley 47:21
so important. I think that, you know, we could probably wrap it with with something like that, where you started off with that, right, recognizing where your emotion was coming from, which was being driven by a thought. And then not just recognizing that being able to transform that energy, right? It’s an immediate, it’s kind of like the old old school railroad tracks right here it comes to train the trains already gone. The beautiful thing about the train that we run and operate in our mind is that we can switch those tracks at any time.

Shelley R Shearer 47:53
Yes, exactly. So I’ve always loved the expression, like you say, to end this here, I’ve always loved the expression, it’s all in your mind. Because it is a full believer on that I believe in the placebo effect, I believe that we have the ability to change based on how we think about things. So really understanding what you need as an individual and taking that time, and not allowing people that don’t understand how paths work draining me all the time. That has been a godsend for me. And the big thing too, is that you cannot apologize for it, then quit apologizing to the world around you. That doesn’t understand. Like I say I’m married to an extrovert, full on and because I’m social social story, people always thought we were the same. But I need very, very different recovery tools than he does. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 48:41
was important to recognize. So thank you. That’s definitely some nice tools. I think for people that experienced that. Me on like a lead ball, like I don’t even know. Right. So and it’s that’s okay, too. So what, where can we send people to hang out with you? I mean, it’s been a ton of fun. I will keep going. But I have absolutely no,

Shelley R Shearer 49:00
I know we do. And we’re gonna we’ll do this again soon, I promise. And I’d love to have you as guest on my show as well, because I my listeners would just I have a very large male demographic of all i don’t know why but I do. And so they would just love they love it. When I do interviews. You can reach me anywhere at living well with shell that is the name of the Instagram page, the Facebook page, my email living well with Shell at gmail, the generic one. Anything living well with Shell, you will find me on social media.

Brandon Handley 49:24
Awesome. So thank you so much for coming on today. I really enjoyed it. Thank

Shelley R Shearer 49:27
you for having me. It’s been wonderful. We’ll see you soon. Absolutely. Excellent.

Unknown Speaker 49:32
Thanks for listening to the spiritual Dell. And thank you, Shelley, for being on the show. Spiritual dub. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and on our website does spiritual dope.com

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Prepare yourself for the upcoming interview that I had with Brandon Marshall Havener as we traipse through topics such as: Understanding your value money Magic* Using your relationship rebound to reforge your broken ass, the upper limit problem, and much much more!

Sorry I Offended You Podcast

Brandon Marshall Havener Instagram

Smart Assery Dot Com

Brandon Handley 0:00

Or 54321 Hey, there’s spiritual dope. I am on with Brandon haven or otherwise known as the spiritual smart as and, you know, just talking with him right now we had some conversations back and forth a few years back. This was when I was afraid, personally to be leading with spirituality. And I was really I was admiring you, Brandon. Not me, Brandon, you, Brandon, for for, for leading that way. And I thought that was really I thought that your unique sense of humor and felt like you were doing a kind of like a fearless sense. And I’ve really admired that. So thanks for being on here today.

Brandon Havener 0:38

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Thanks for having me.

Brandon Handley 0:41

Absolutely. Absolutely. So, I like to start this off with like, you know, the universe creates through us, right, and the universe, you know, kind of puts us together, and whoever’s, like, you know, tune in in the podcast today and check on you and I out. They need to hear something today and it’s only going to come through you so what’s what’s that What’s that person need to hear? That’s coming through you in this podcast today.

Brandon Havener 1:05

I think the main thing is, you know, talking about spirituality and some of the shit that people would I don’t know if I’m allowed to cuss here

Brandon Handley 1:14

cannot say it’s spiritual. You know? I don’t know spiritual cleansing.

Brandon Marshall Havener 1:20

Yeah, so I you know, like anybody who

Brandon Marshall Havener 1:24

who finds pulled to that kind of stuff there’s going to be that fear of ridicule and being called crazy and you know, I think like spirituality and some of the conspiracy stuff to kind of go hand in hand where like some people are like really going into Oh my God, that’s crazy people have lost their mind and even your family might think you lost your mind. So you know just kind of like the conversation we had a little bit before we started recording it’s confronting you lose your you start losing old parts of your identity when you decide to go on the spiritual journey, and I really You know, I hope this episode really helps people into leaning into that or like really owning who they actually are, you know, rather than hiding in the corner and being like, Well, I have these thoughts, but I’m not going to talk about it.

Brandon Handley 2:13

Now. That’s awesome. So I definitely want to get into that. But before we, before we get into that, let’s, let’s dig into, you know, who the spiritual market as is and kind of where you are in life, what you kind of what you offer out there. Let’s dig into that a little bit. So if somebody never met you, and you could say more than five words, because we have social media, what would you be saying?

Brandon Marshall Havener 2:39

I would say that my content is like a blend of comedy and spirituality. And it’s really helpful for people to move in and move into their space as messengers and speak that authentic message that converts into paying clients. But in a way that’s enjoyable. I think a lot people focus on clients. But then they get the clients and then they can’t be themselves around them. And then they’re like, oh, what am I doing? So like I really taken the blend of, do you feel good about your art? And are you profiting off of that art rather than doing business well, but feeling horrible because you’re not getting creative, or doing art, but not creating that into business because it’s not translatable into business. And I think it gets to be a both slash and conversation.

Brandon Handley 3:32

Now, I love it, right? So you’re helping people who are in one of those spaces already, right and to, for the person who’s solely like focused on business and coaching and getting clients. You’re like, hey, loosen up a little bit. This should be This should be fun for you, and that should shine through somewhere. Otherwise you look very clinical. Right? And you’re probably not having fun yourself. And I can tell it looks like you’re not having fun yourself because you looked pent up whenever I see you, right? Yeah. And then you’ve got the artists person who’s like, who’s like, I’m not worried about money and I don’t care and like, you know, there’s just like there’s like, but in the end, like if you just make help that artists person who’s who is very creative to just get over that chasm or whatever, just a little bit of like, hey, it’s okay to take money for what you do. Right? And it’s okay to profit from what you love to do. And, and and kind of merge it right. So you kind of merging those two, is that what I’m hearing you say?

Brandon Marshall Havener 4:33

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And that kind of brings me back before I even considered myself a business owner. I was doing hip hop music and I was having people come into my parents basement to record and I was so afraid of charging people I was like, you know, they’re my friends or like, you know, or I wouldn’t be too pressured about charging so I would find myself, you know, working on this art and I I really think it takes away You know, your love for the art when you’re not owning your value and charging for it because then all of a sudden you find yourself doing a bunch of stuff for people for free. And, you know, you may hear the similar thing from a lot of people where it’s like, just give me your art and I’ll give you exposure that occur. And that just it really eats away at your soul and sort and you may even fall into the trap of feeling like you don’t really love your art when really it’s just the boundaries that was failed to me place there.

Brandon Marshall Havener 5:35

Sure, sure. Um, yeah, tell me a little bit more about like, what you mean by by the boundaries being failed to play, sir.

Brandon Marshall Havener 5:42

Yeah, so it’s like, you know, like, someone might come up to you and say, Hey, you know, do this graphic for me because exposure, you know, I’ll give you exposure and return and then you’re like, doing hours of work for somebody because it’s like, you know what they care about me they’re given the exposure or other opinion You sort of like, just got a boss for your art. And then you’re like, wait a minute, I’m not getting paid for this. I’m not doing exactly what I want to do. And I think that’s really something that people fall into. It’s like not, and it starts from like, really not valuing the art. Right? You tivity because it’s so easy for us,

Brandon Handley 6:20

right? Yeah, no. 100% right. So I mean, that I think that speaks to, like, the language that you speak, right? Like you speak your own type of language. And it’s so easy for you just like this art that you couldn’t possibly understand how, how somebody else finds value and what comes so easily you? Yep. Right. So yeah, that’s, I mean, that’s great. And you know, to understand the value that you bring to someone, and if you’ve never charged somebody for it before, you don’t know it can be an uncomfortable situation, because then somebody’s like, well, you’re just really greedy. Why don’t you you know, just give it to me. Yeah. If you’re so speaking, you know, in terms of, you’re so spiritual like, shouldn’t be, shouldn’t the energy just come to you when you need the things that you need? Right? So, I think that’s a challenge too, especially in this this, uh, you know, spiritual coaching or spiritual space. And I’ve seen I’ve seen that be said, and I was like, well, this is just an energy exchange. Give me a fucking money.

Brandon Marshall Havener 7:14

Yeah, right. I want to get paid. I mean, money was created to make things simple. So we’re not trading like fucking potatoes or apples, right? Like we were put into like, you know, obviously people have their own opinions about the system and all things but the brilliant thing about the system of money is we don’t have to do all this guesswork of what is you know what things are valued at what So, really, I tried to stay away from the barter stuff because of that because it can complicate things and it’s not to say bartering is evil or wrong or anything like that. But I just feel it’s easier. Even if we are doing some sort of trade. It’s like wait, you know, I Have an established price for the service I do but then I’ll sell you this and then I’ll buy that for even if you know like you do miss like buying from each other rather than doing a trade because then the the boundaries can get kind of murky and then you you can leave that relationship with resentment because no one was really keeping tabs on what parts of value is being exchanged not 100% right when you’re using money there’s there’s a predetermined set right? This is $1 that’s $1 you know, versus you know, give me that Apple for that orange type thing that’s just it never it never really works out and there’s always I think on one and a level of discomfort right like yeah you know still waiting on my oranges and you know the other person like they’re not in season yet bro right? So I mean that type of thing. So, so I love I love that you know you’re doing it from the side but you know what, I don’t know. What I don’t know is like, you know, how do you go from like hip hop in the basement to the military to you Being in this spiritual space. Wow, this is though, that it I was all I always saw myself as like a creative artist and hip hop at one point that was like, I would say, like right now, you know, writing content is sort of the same thing. You know, it’s like it’s putting art together and putting it out there. But what I found is in my, I was gonna say late 19th, but 19th isn’t a thing. But like, when I was 19 or so I started getting into personal development, spirituality and business. So I was dabbling in different things. And, you know, in fact, there’s some more stuff in there. I probably did so much stuff in my early 20s, but didn’t master everything out of it. But I did real estate investing and, you know, I, I did internet marketing, like I started an email list and start leasing hip hop beats, so I was just experimenting with a lot of stuff. And you know, I guess that’s good for a young person because you get to see what you like and what you don’t like. Then I realized that for I had that realization, I probably read it in a book somewhere. But I had the realization that my mind was all over the place like I wanted to go from real estate to selling hip hop beats, internet marketing, and all this crazy stuff. And then I joined the military, not as a way of like, let me get free college or anything like that, or it wasn’t even about the money because the money was actually quite horrible. But I knew that it would help me be disciplined into like, following something through to completion. In fact, I remember, like one of my mom’s friends was she she shared with me that he was telling her that he didn’t believe I was going to go through basic training. So like, that was a big thing for me to go through that grueling activity, even if it was painful and then completing completing it anyway. And I think that’s what a lot of creatives need because You know, when you’re a startup or you’re like, you get so inspired by a new idea. A trap could be when things get tougher or you know, you meet that resistance is to convince yourself, Well, this isn’t aligned anymore. So I’m gonna move on to a new craft and then a new craft, but then you master nothing. So I think the the big thing about military is it taught me to stick through something even when the resistance started getting high or got inconvenient.

Brandon Handley 11:29

I’m excited. That makes sense. Makes a lot of sense. I think it’s really interesting, too, that you got involved. I mean, how did you listen when I was 19? Um, you know, the furthest thing from my mind was like, personal development and or real estate investing or any of that stuff. You know, I was, I was partying real hard. So I mean, I think that that even indicates You know, this this what, how’d you how’d you get into it at that young age?

Brandon Marshall Havener 11:58

Yeah, I I was online I got out of like a horrible breakup. And I was the first question is how do I get my ex back? So I was looking that up and then I ended up on some guy’s email list and it just fell I fell into this rabbit hole of personal development because it’s like, he was selling me getting my ex back. But it was really uh, you know, how do you improve your, you know, body language and how you carry yourself and how do you interact with relationships? So, you know, I started becoming a new person and learning all this new stuff. And then I asked myself like, well, if I can learn this, isn’t there a way to learn how to like make a ton of money rather than going to college because this community college stuff isn’t working for me. So yeah, it was it was pretty much like one rabbit hole led to the other and that led to spirituality. I think I first heard about Wayne Dyer from dating program. I don’t know if you ever heard of pagane but he had an alias David DeAngelo. And he would talk about how to attract women. But this one program I got from him was like talking about Wayne Dyer. So all of a sudden, I’m listening to Wayne Dyer in my early 20s. So

Brandon Handley 13:15

Wow, that’s awesome. That’s awesome. So, who knows? I think like, how do I get my ex back is like the number one. Google search, right? Yeah, I think it’s like ranks up top there. But who knows? Who knew that that would kind of lead to, you know, kind of spiritual and personal development. I love I love how you kind of took on that challenge. You you you cited that kind of like a personal challenge for yourself. Right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 13:38

Yeah. Come on. I mean, even yoga that was promoted to me as Hey, there’s a lot of women that do yoga and there’s not a lot of men that do yoga.

Brandon Handley 13:47

do yoga. in your favor, right? Yeah, I generally favor and I think that um, you know, it’s kind of funny you bring up Wayne Dyer is actually just putting a piece together based off of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and You know, Cain dire dire like worked under him right on if he knew that like he as low like he ran into math low I forget one of his stories right and that’s kind of how he went into this space I feel right like I don’t have the full story but I do know that Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a little bit more I think intended and came from like a Dyer space like Wayne Dyer space then you know how we we use it we leverage it right now for like marketing for for everything right like I you know, just like college and all these other things. But I think that you know, big part a big part of that and and even when I got out of dire is is like you know that self actualization piece right at the top of that top of that pyramid. And it’s funny because you’re talking about the you know, your base level needs right? Like I need, you know, I need my girlfriend back I need all these other things back and until like you fix all those pieces. The rest of it doesn’t matter. Like these are the things that I need my life right and until I get that then then Then we’re not talking. Right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 15:02

Yeah, a lot of people are, you know, brought to a certain level of pain and then they’re like, they just fall into spirituality somehow.

Brandon Handley 15:11

Well, yeah, I mean that that could be right. That could be I’m always on the other end of that, to be honest with you, I you know, how I kind of came into it was not painful for me, right. Like, you know, I kind of fell into it, right, like a fucking swan song or whatever, you know, like, oh, whatever, you know, but but which is why I’m always like, you know, you don’t have to you don’t have to go through like, you know, tremendous pain to like, have a better life. Right? Yeah,

Brandon Marshall Havener 15:38

I want that. I’m gonna Place Order now. My next life. I wanted to be a little more smooth.

Brandon Handley 15:44

Yeah, I mean, listen, don’t get me wrong, like you. Maybe you got into it earlier. And it was rougher. It came from me, like later in life is like, Well, yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and take that. Take that experience. So I know you’ve gone over this in one of the recent podcasts. I love To so you know if you’re working with somebody and it’s brand new to them getting into this internet marketing space I you know what she calls it just internet marketing anymore or is it marketing in general social media marketing anyways? What would you do if you were starting today?

Brandon Marshall Havener 16:17

Oh man. So what did I say on that podcast? Yeah, so like if I started today I would well first I think like the main thing is speaking a consistent message like that’s your first line of defense because you want people coming to your profile and having a reaction of fuck Yes, sir. Fuck no. Got your page in there either leaving right away or fully attracted and loving yourself like it’s a breath of fresh air. So I would start with like, talking all the crazy stuff that you wanted to talk about and not even worry if one person likes it or not. In fact, I sort of recently got into that on Twitter, because Twitter’s a new battle. Feeling for me. So I’m just like posting my craziest thoughts on Twitter and seeing if like someone comes on there and picks it up. And then the other thing is being proactive. I would really look into who speaks a message or who is an expander for you. And this is something that Lacey Phillips talks about she, she labels them expander so I’m sure she owns that word or something. But expanders are basically people in doing something that you are a want to be doing in a way that you want to be doing it and have like a similar story or you know, a similar vibe. So, I’d say for me, like one of those people would be JP Sears like he’s doing a good job of mixing comedy and spy.

Brandon Handley 17:46

Yeah, you know, yeah. Okay, I see that for you.

Brandon Marshall Havener 17:50

Yeah, so So with that, not only are you finding communities with like minded people that you can start adding into your social media. You also have an incentive. Have somebody who’s already doing what you want to do. And it’s like you building a community with some people who also love JP Sears and a few other people that you admire, like that’s just one of the most brilliant ways because you’re producing something that is on the same value level and like the energy level, but also like a similar topic that works with them, but you’re also bringing your own flavor into it. So it’s just like a good it’s a good strategy of knowing who’s going to be more receptive to your work. And this isn’t perfect, like if you’re just starting out you you’re going to evolve you’re going to change and you’re going to learn new things, but it’s realizing that market research a big part of market research is actually starting the conversation and rather what whether it’s perfect or not, like just having that imperfect conversation and and letting it be more of a test rather than taking it personal. And then I would say the method there is Like, what I was taught was like a three by three by three method. So like, find three people communicate with three different communities. So like, whether it’s through people’s statuses or their Facebook groups or whatever it may be, and just have fun conversations like, like you’re going to a party, you know, you’re not selling hard or anything like that. You’re just, you know, having fun and communicating with people online. And then add three of those people today and and engage on three posts of theirs that you you resonate with. I think I put a lot of threes in that, but

Brandon Handley 19:38

that’s good enough that I mean, it’s really good, right? But I mean, I think that um, and I can go I can go back to when I first started, right, it was a spam friend, everybody, try and get them all in your group and then sell them on your stuff, right? Yeah. So there’s a lot of missing nuances in that strategy.

Brandon Marshall Havener 19:57

I was taught to comment and like and message them right away. Right? I disagree with that. Now I agree with like, having conversations in their comments section. By the way, a big thing is that you actually resonate with the status rather than pretending like Yeah, great. I liked your dog. Right? And you actually hate dogs. But um, for sure, but like, you know, I just, you know, comment and engage with people with no attachment of if they’re gonna join my group or buy my stuff. Like, right there, I started the conversation and then you know, they’re coming up on my profile and having a conversation. It’s more of a it’s more of like a gradual build. You want it to feel as natural as possible rather than forced or like forcing yourself to introduce yourself for sure because the relationship will grow like there’s one person that I found and I thought his video was absolutely I thought his content and his video was absolutely amazing. And you know, he His he lives in DC. So that’s cool. And I thought like, hey, that could be a future friend actually. But then two days ago see I’m I’m talking about like a budding bromance now. Two days ago, He’s, uh, you know, he’s spouting off on his livestream that I win the best content of the, you know, month award. So like, right there, you’re building a relationship. And the same thing goes with attracting clients. And that’s exactly how my relationship started to. She found me in a Facebook group and fell in love with my content. I fell in love with her content. And then we went on a first date, and we did a live stream together. So awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. It’s great for building amazing relationships

Brandon Handley 21:45

now. Yeah. So I love it. Right, because again, it’s the whole spam Enos aspect of it, right. And I think Yeah, those days are gone, which is actually kind of nice, right? But you brought up the bromance part. I just want I just remembered like I met a guy, you know, when I was in North Carolina and we got together we had some lunch and stuff. He goes out What are you looking for? I was like, I’m looking for a lifelong friendship and I think you like right there. He like kind of just cut it off. Right? But But also, you kind of talk what I’m hearing you say too, is it’s a little bit like a mush. Are you a story brand? person? Have you? Are you familiar with like, you know, you date date date, you asked for marriage? Somebody says, No, you date you date some more? Yes. for marriage. You know what I mean? So you continue on that relationship. And every once in a while, I mean, you go to sell them, right, like, all right, every once in a while, I was like, here’s the line. Are we are we are we together forever now? Okay, let’s take some more. You know, is that what you’re saying?

Brandon Marshall Havener 22:41

Yeah, something like that. Like, you know, like I see. I see like my Facebook community or my Instagram community, I guess, you know, people that can interact with and are like minded and who would enjoy my content, and often I enjoy their content. And then I’m open about my programs. So more like attraction marketing, where it’s like, I’m gonna put my stuff out there every day. I know, in the internet marketing rules, I think some people say I only mentioned a program one out of every 20 times, right? I kind of blow those rules out of the water. And every day I’m promoting, you know, a new program that’s, you know, that I’m doing. And I think one piece of resistance that people will think about that is, is that being too salesy, or you know, are you selling too much, and it’s shifting the mentality. One part of my mentality is if people can walk away with this content for free and benefit off of it, but then I have no problem with putting a call to action at the end of it, and telling people how they can reach the next level. And then another part of the mentality is that I’m inviting them rather than hard selling them, and it’s going to be a win win situation for them because they’re exchanging money and they’re getting an awesome service work.

Brandon Handley 23:58

Yeah, I mean, Well, listen, I don’t know how How many programs you’ve actually consumed yourself that have been free and you’re like, you know what, this one was free. I don’t care. Yeah versus versus I paid $500 for this, I’m gonna finish this shit. Huh?

Brandon Marshall Havener 24:12

Right and energetic spiritual sense. A lot of times my clients will join a program didn’t read one piece of content and then money drops in for them or same thing happens on the other end of things like money will drop in for me when I make an online investment. I think even most recently my girlfriend hired a new coach. I think it was like a 2500 package and less than 24 hours she received 2000 like just insane thing. Yeah, it’s pretty great for itself.

Brandon Handley 24:44

Yeah, and that’s pretty crazy. Kind of like once you release it, it comes right back, right. Yeah, I you know, I’ve been a big fan of recently More more recently than not is like, you know, if I if I send this money out, I’m expecting to come back with his friends. Yeah, right. And like, you know, so But that but that can be a challenge. Now, let’s talk about that a little bit too is like, you invested in yourself, like very heavily at one point. And it sounds like at one point maybe meant like too much.

Brandon Marshall Havener 25:11

But yeah,

Brandon Handley 25:12

what would you say the return of your investments have been? And was it too much?

Brandon Marshall Havener 25:17

Well, right now, it wasn’t too much. But if you if you go into the mentality of, you know, I making this investment and I need the money back tomorrow, or you’re putting yourself on an island in survival mode, that’s when it becomes detrimental. But I would even say like, the big investments I made back in 2015 is still paying dividends in my business, my relationship and all the things because it’s like, I wouldn’t be in the relationship I’m in now if I didn’t have the tools or I didn’t go to those retreats. I just want to be as awakened. I, you know, we wouldn’t be talking about the things we talk I wouldn’t be on this podcast. But where I went wrong is I played this peer pressure game of saying yes to every single thing. I was kind of like in circles of where there’s these hardcore sales bros and stuff like that, where, you know, there’s kind of like this masculine ego of saying no to investing in yourself. So I was constantly saying yes to things even and getting to a point where I was abandoning my own financial values. And there’s also a lot of lingo in the coaching industry, where it’s like, if you don’t invest in yourself, or if you don’t have a one on, you know, one on one coach or mastermind or whatever, how can you be selling coaching so I was always putting that pressure on myself to like, really amplify things to the top level and sort of like, take ridiculous leaps that that put me into situations that I shouldn’t have been in and how I would change that. is just to take it slower, you know, I would have made some of the same investments. But I wouldn’t have I wouldn’t have abandoned myself, I would have said no to a lot more things than I then. I did back then.

Brandon Handley 27:14

Sure, sure. But I mean, you know, in the end, though,

Brandon Marshall Havener 27:18

you’re here now, right? You kind of meet

Brandon Marshall Havener 27:20

Mike. Like, I can look back and say I would have changed it, but I also think I don’t, you know, I don’t regret it. And maybe I want to so it’s a weird catch. 22 right there,

Brandon Handley 27:32

not for sure. Sure. I love to that you you’d mentioned that, uh, you know, you got almost as much value out of some of the lower cost products as you did from some of the higher cost products. I’m curious myself, like, what were some of the ones in the lower end? And you know, and the top end that really brought and changed

Brandon Marshall Havener 27:51

the way Yeah, I would say one big thing was actually when it was like I couldn’t do you know, I couldn’t do any high end stuff anymore. Like I’ve been I went to the brim of what I could do my capacity there and then I think it was like a it might have been a $500 course back in 2016 and it was a manifestation course and what are not only did I learn more about journaling and manifestation I also realize what I was doing with my marketing that wasn’t aligned for me so at that time I stopped booking my my days with sales calls all the time where I was stopped hiding my prices, and not saying any of that stuff is bad. A lot of people succeed with that stuff. But it wasn’t working for me like it just wasn’t. And I noticed that I was thriving more when I was more transparent about my prices, I was more open and I was using my content to pull people in. Rather than thinking I had to book a bunch of calls with people or falling even falling into the mentality that the only way out could transform lives was high ticket like, I was meant to do a lot of low ticket because and I think one big indicator is if you’re an artist or a content creator that loves content, you’re probably designed to do a lot of low ticket stuff, not just low ticket stuff, but you know, you probably are designed and you may hear a message from a lot of high ticket coaches, that high ticket is on the way cuz that’s a way that they’re selling. So that’s a big one that I learned and then later on, you know, I was going through, you know, some previous relationship turmoil with an ex, back back full circle to what started personal development, right. But I remember joining a program for like, $300 and the day a day or two after, you know, the relationship broke apart and it was it was meant to happen, but it was painful, right. And I you know, I just liked it. Myself heeling in ways that, you know, I didn’t realize I needed to do, I was like holding on to an old relationship. And it just like broke that wide open the moment I joined the program, and I wouldn’t be here today, if I didn’t go through that work.

Brandon Handley 30:16

Now. That’s great. That’s great. And, you know, I think that I’ve also heard you say, you leverage this kind of like the compound effect to it’s these small investments and even some of the big ones that, you know, even if you expect that result to happen today, like you said, right, like, come from a place of scarcity, like listen, I just dropped like 20 k this year, and I’m gonna meet all that back right now. Right? And that can be scary to put yourself in that position. But over time that the dividends start adding up that one can kind of say,

Brandon Marshall Havener 30:45

Yeah, absolutely. And I think it’s crucial, you know, some coaches may not agree, you know, with this message or like, wait, you can’t tell people this. By it’s so crucial not to put yourself into survival mode. And saying this has that and put that on your heart, you know, and you you’re you’re making it a lot harder for you to be creative and in manifestation mode and open to receiving and all of that stuff. So, you know stretch you know, stretch your investments and increase your capacity you know, do some of the scary stuff but don’t do it in a place of wait if I make this investment I’m not going to pay rent for three, you know, is gonna This is like three months of rent. So I really consider that.

Brandon Handley 31:31

Not me. I think it’s an important message. Right? I I you know, I hate to bring up Tony Robbins, but I’ll bring up Tony Robbins. I still remember like, one of his messages and one of his earlier tapes is he’s talking to Al Gore. Right? And Al Gore said, I didn’t lose because of XYZ and Tony Robbins like no, you’ll get lost because you weren’t resourceful enough, right? And I think that if you open yourself up to what’s possible, and you’re not going at all this stuff from a scarcity mindset, right? As in like it’s urgent this has to happen. You might find like there’s a whole bunch of different ways to get what you need to get what you want. And I’ll say this because my first my first program I took I put it on a credit card and then like for some reason like I don’t know why I didn’t think to get like a small personal loan or something which is so easy to get right and wouldn’t had like to worry and panic about paying off the debt on the credit card as fast right? So, you know, for for anybody’s out there like, I mean, listen, there’s there’s programs from $50 to you know, 25 grand, depending on your, your tastes, right. But when you’re coming at it, don’t come at it from like, you have to have that money in your pocket today. You don’t have to put it on a credit card. There’s other ways to kind of get that money as well. So I’m just gonna leave it with that right? Just because,

Brandon Marshall Havener 32:47

yeah, it

Brandon Marshall Havener 32:48

doesn’t have to just be on your credit card. Right? That’s, that’s huge, because oftentimes, when we’re stuck in our head, and we only look at it through one narrow vision, we think that the things that we want to obtain is hard. But if you allow yourself to open up your mind and ask yourself, you know, maybe even journal it out and ask the question of like, what are all the ways that I can make this happen? Then you find multiple solutions and then you you get out of your head and you realize, wait, manifesting that thing is a lot easier than I thought it was, you know, something that I noticed with me was support like having cleaning, you know, cleaning service and all that stuff. I thought that was like, I was just conditioned at a young age thinking that that’s what only rich people do, or, you know, like you it was like, super expensive, but then you just like look at it, it’s like, oh, you know, $100 or so or this is you know, this percent of my income, whatever. That’s not that’s not bad. You know, right. I think we kind of look at support as some a lot of times you look at support as something that’s unreachable when it for many people is probably reachable now and will open up a lot.

Brandon Handley 33:56

I was looking at it as if you can go spend like 60 bucks for a case study. 120 bucks at a night at the bar, like maybe if you don’t do that spend that money at the bar, you might be able to spend that like on getting a house cleaner and having these other things or, you know, maybe saving up for some of these courses or someplace that might have a benefit. Right? And look, man, if you’re going to the bar and hanging out there, I don’t care you do you right? Nothing wrong with that, because Lord knows I spent a lot of money in the bars myself. Right. So well, you

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:27

can’t be doing that

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:28

now. No, no, I mean, look, I mean,

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:31

time, hey,

Brandon Handley 34:32

it’s a bad idea. It’s a bad idea. But be it’s just like, you know, when you really look at it, like you probably do have the resources to do some of these things. You just been using those resources in other areas, right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:46

Yeah. And sometimes we kind of look at that through our old conditioning and patterns that probably our parents told us or the people that were raising us told us and we got to like take a step back and be like, wait, what’s really possible?

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:59

Right? Yeah, well Hey look at me

Brandon Handley 35:00

so I love I love so spirituality right

Brandon Marshall Havener 35:04

I don’t know what your kind of your approaches

Brandon Handley 35:06

but with you know your spiritual self what is impossible what’s impossible yeah with with with spirituality is there anything that’s not possible

Brandon Marshall Havener 35:18

I guess there’s nothing really impossible you know it probably probably be tough to walk on water but shit maybe there’s a way the

Brandon Handley 35:27

right shoes will do it man the right shoes though but i mean you know so because and the reason I kind of bring this up because a man says you rise to your level of thinking right so if you’re thinking of yourself as a human being you kind of think of yourself as just what you see here right and and all these other things and if you can think of yourself as a spiritual being, you know well then then automatically like I’m no longer Am I confined to just like my tangibles, right. The things I can see, hear, touch and smell the immediate senses. So I was just curious kind of what your take is on that. the mindset of spirituality.

Brandon Marshall Havener 36:01

Yeah, I just think quantum physics is so interesting because it’s like the idea that this computer’s not solid, or I’m not like, I don’t have my arms on the table right now. It’s all just like a projection from our mind. Yeah, I think like, there’s so much that’s possible. I think we’re kind of like in these constraints in the human experience, in a way, but I think it’s all it’s all by belief. Now, I don’t know if you know, I can’t tell everyone listening to this are going to walk through a door, something like that. Right. Right. I mean, closed door, but yeah, I think there’s, I think there’s like just a lot that we don’t know. Yeah, there’s a lot available to us that we have no idea and we’re sort of like on the tip of the iceberg of what we know or what we’re actually seeing. Or, you know, like, it’s like, you know, just by human vision, there’s probably a lot more around me right now that I don’t see.

Brandon Handley 36:59

I mean, they say you you’d only see like 99 or like, you know, 99.9% of like the light spectrum, you cannot see. So it’s like, I mean, there’s, you know, what am I missing? Right? What am I? What am I not seeing? Not as curious kind of on your take there. Right? And, you know, it’s funny that you bring up those, like, you know, what we know today what we think we know today, right? It is like just barely part of it. I mean, I was literally just reading an article that, oh, today they figured out sperm doesn’t swim the same way that they’ve always thought that it swam. So it’s like, it’s like, what how do we even get here but but even on top of that, right? Do you you know, do you Brandon know how your hair grows but you’re doing it right? Do you know how like your you know, your white blood cells inside of your own body that are closest thing to you that can be close to you? Do you know how that happens? But it’s fucking happening.

Brandon Marshall Havener 37:52

And that’s the thing you know, the main thing I think about is like wealth. You know, when people look at money, we try to I think our ego really tries to figure out like, how am I going to manifest this thing? Or how am I going to do it? And it’s kind of taking a step back and having that same thought process of our hair growing. It’s like, what if I just allowed it to happen? What if I just got out of the way and let it happen?

Brandon Handley 38:17

Yeah, that’s the whole Jesus take the wheel thing, right? Or, you know, let go and let God right. And this is like, but it’s terrifying to think in that way. I don’t know if you’ve read the Michael singer surrender experiment book. No, I haven’t read that one. But I mean, it talks exactly the same thing, though. Like, at some point. He’s like, God, just kind of I just kind of let go and let the let the universe take care of me ended up like a billion dollar company. I was like, Okay. I don’t know how you just fall into that shit. But, you know, I’m sure there had to be some involvement with it. But you know, so that’s what he said though. He said he felt like he just kind of opened up and let the things just kind of carry on through so and it should be as easy right? share this with you too I got this um I ordered a you know one of those mixed up incense packs right because well should be just as easy as as breathing right I’m not sure if you had anybody ever say why should this be just like breathing for you like what it’s not so put it hasn’t been up to this point so I got this I this is not an ad this is a this is it says money matrix it’s um you know incense so if I’m burning money matrix and money incense to it is just as easy so I get myself kind of conditioned to breathing in money so anyways,

Brandon Marshall Havener 39:37

I would have been a perfect dad though you might have to get an affiliate link,

Brandon Handley 39:40

if I can find one. So so the investing itself would cover kind of the compound effect. These are all things that have jotted down for you. I’ve heard you you know, I’d love to hear some more of your influences. I heard you mentioned kind of Hicks mentioned Dyer. I’m assuming you know you you’ve read the compound effect. The book what are some other like kind of influences and spaces? That a tune in today that are helping you on your way?

Brandon Marshall Havener 40:11

Yeah, so one of my one of my mentors and you know, I’ve gone through so many of our programs is Katrina Ruth. And I really like her because she has like the rebel, the mixture of like the rebel hustle vibe, but also the deep spiritual vibe and like when I found her like, that was a, you know, some of the programs that I did that were, you know, mid ticket and stuff that I was talking about. When I found her like, I was kind of like in the mixture of the spirituality and the hustle balance. So she really helped me break some of the rules and really become, you know, step into who I am today. That was really powerful. I really love some of Matt Kahn’s work like even just going on YouTube. And he has a book whatever arises love that or everything that arises love that something along the lines of that right and let’s see what book Am I reading right now? So this is a mixture of stuff because I go for Matt calm that’s like talking about love what arises and right now I’m reading Jocko willick Hi Yeah, I’ve been Navy dude yeah and like leadership strategies so I’m kind of diving into more masculine work as well. Ryan Metzler he has an awesome podcast order of man Andy for so real AF podcast so like is you know a mixture of that masculine energy and you know spiritual energy and I like to you know, I kind of like taking on like all that stuff.

Brandon Handley 41:47

Yeah. I love that I Ryan I interviewed on like a on my father had podcast years ago so they put me in touch with him. So, you know, it’s pretty cool. Definitely, you know, definitely intense right and kind of how it does Same but you know that that’s him, right? That’s t he is unabashedly himself. Oh, at least two he believes he is today. Right. And that’s, I love that. And, you know, I want to talk about that too is kind of how you talked about, you know, doing the things that you felt like you had to do, right, like, you know, the doing, doing the different types of methodologies and reaching out but then kind of winding it back so that you become yourself again. Yep. Yeah, talk about that a little bit so people can understand it. Understand it So, sure.

Brandon Marshall Havener 42:33

Yeah, I think it’s like kind of similar to the concept we were talking about when you only find one solution with the credit card but on a personal loan, and it’s like the same thing you may hear like a bunch of coaches and people that you’re following saying, this is how you do it, your sales call, do it this way. And then you’re convincing yourself like okay, what it must mean I’m unproductive if I’m not reaching out to people every single day or whatever, right? Matter of fact, I was in the trap of thinking that content was actually just fun for me. And reaching out to people was a real work. So if I did content that day, but I didn’t reach out to someone, I didn’t do enough work. So it’s just realizing and I think it’s seeking out and being curious about, if this doesn’t feel fully right of how I’m doing it and how I’m doing the business rules, what are some things that I get to do that would feel more expansive for me? So, you know, there’s so many different methods and strategies to build business, your business or personal development in general, really, but it’s really about finding that one align strategy that works with you like clockwork, and if you’re meeting a lot of resistance behind it alignment to that it’s something that should first be questioned.

Brandon Handley 43:54

The alignment should be

Brandon Marshall Havener 43:55

Yeah, sure

Brandon Handley 43:56

that that’s happening. Um, I like I think, I think you also talks about a little bit of perseverance. So to write, like, you know not to just stop, like, you know, if, if you’re aligned, and you’re like, Hey, I’m totally aligned, and then like, something kind of pops up in a way like, ah, I gotta go the other way and do something else. I mean, kind of getting past like, I don’t know if you’re a fan or if you’ve ever read Ryan holidays, the obstacles the way. But you know, that obstacle, that thing that gets thrown up in front of your alignment may be the thing that you need thrown up in your way so that you can expand and get beyond it to the rest of your alignment, which is on the other side of that shit.

Brandon Marshall Havener 44:35

Yeah, like be able to ask questions of what else can I try? What else can I do? What would what would work here? Rather than just hiding in the corner and being like, God doesn’t work? This sucks. Nothing works. Right? Well ask questions.

Brandon Handley 44:48

Yeah. What are some questions you like when something’s not working?

Brandon Marshall Havener 44:52

One thing I’d like just I wonder what else I get to try. You know, I wonder I wonder what else would work I wonder what would Feel expansive for me to do today? You know, and journaling it out when you get it out of your head, it really helps. And that’s something that I learned. I don’t know if you you’ve read gay Hendricks a big leap.

Brandon Handley 45:13

Not got it though. Sitting on my bookshelf

Brandon Marshall Havener 45:16

that is one of the most important books, okay.

Brandon Marshall Havener 45:20

It’s the upper limit problem. And he talks about like, drift, you know, there’s so many ways that we drift, like if we get distracted scrolling our newsfeed or binge eating or whatever it may be. But there’s only a few shift moves to get us into alignment and power again, and one of the major ones is curiosity. And so it’s like getting curious when you’re hitting an obstacle. That helps shift you back into alignment. Rather, I think one of people’s go to people’s go to response if they hit a hidden objective is to be like, Okay, let me distract myself with something. Let me go on the news. Let me either thing or whatever it may be. So I’m just asking that question and journaling it out and truly help.

Brandon Handley 46:06

Now I think that’s super beneficial. definitely helpful for anybody, you know, when you when you hit that obstacle, stop, pause and be like, how else can I process right? Like, this isn’t? This isn’t in my way again, this isn’t in my way, this is the way what you know, or, you know, I like the, the story of like, diamonds in my backyard, right? Like, the whole diamonds in the backyard stories, like, you know, you travel all over the world, look over the thing that you’ve got right there in front of you, right? So, you know, take that opportunity to step back and don’t get pensive, right, like, you know, you take that gasp and like you feel like you’ve got to figure it out right now. No, you don’t. You don’t have to figure it out right now. Take a breath. And how else can you approach it like Brandon saying,

Brandon Marshall Havener 46:46

I co facilitated event with a mentor of mine while back and I remember an exercise that we did that was really helpful in a physical sense, where, you know, you pair two people together and the dots go away. To get past that person that other person’s post a block you, right, I let you get past them. Yeah. And basically what we learned from that is if you try to use force, you’re not going to get past that person or, you know, unless you know, you’ve really got violent but that was part of the exercise right? By the solution ended up being is like if you could make them laugh or you did some goofy stuff or something like that, then you could find your way around them. And that’s sort of like every problem in life. It’s like when you when you can pattern interrupt or have fun within rather than being tense and strict and or even add breaths to the situation. The obstacle starts to dissolve.

Brandon Handley 47:41

Love it, love it. I think one of the other things I’ve heard too is is that laughter which is what you bring, right? You bring some good humor and some fun, that helps people. Remember things and I’m not sure what you found in terms of how laughter can be beneficial. What have you. What have you found

Brandon Marshall Havener 48:00

Yeah, so so with laughter, there’s a few things but like with laughter It’s really, it really lowers people’s resistance and allows people to receive stuff. So instead of being all tense or combative with people, you know, you can really get a message across. If you can have somebody laughing. They may might not even agree with the opinion, but now they’re laughing. And they’re actually considering it. But I think the first thing I started about laughter and I think it was like Marilyn Monroe saying, Do you know if you could get a girl to laugh, you can date or write it or do anything or something like that. And dating was my first thing that I was working on. So I was like, hey, if I can learn to be funny, then you know, I can be attractive to women. So like, but the same thing goes with clients and people in general. Like if you can get them to laugh, they’ll want to be around you.

Brandon Handley 48:50

For sure. For sure. I’d much rather hang out with somebody who’s making me laugh and making me cry or too serious, right? So very cool, man. So I want to talk about what you’ve got running out. out there right now your current offering, which is the sole troll, Tell me Tell us a little bit about what’s happened with the soul troll.

Brandon Marshall Havener 49:05

Yeah, that’s a perfect follow up for laughter So soul troll is really being able to I notice no one’s having fun on the internet like, I mean, some people are having fun but like a lot of people aren’t having fun on the internet. We’re having

Brandon Handley 49:17

fun with them. They’re getting fucking cup of it. Yeah.

Brandon Marshall Havener 49:20

Like he’s hypersensitive times and all that stuff. So I really want to bring that back where people can tell the truth, make people laugh, have a good time and speak the message that they really wanted to in the first place. So, you know, I think down more than ever, is it’s important to speak the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable. So doing that in a fun way. And somebody actually messaged me about soul troll the other day and she was asking me, like, about a situation where a woman was upset about something she posted that might have been offensive and she was walking on eggshells. So like something else that I’m bringing with soul troll is going deep. into when are you actually responsible for offending someone and hurting somebody? And when is it somebody projecting on to you? So it’s like, being able to balance being fully expressed without feeling like you’re harming or being an asshole in the process.

Brandon Handley 50:17

That’s fair. I mean, look, I mean, I think I think a lot I think that’s a huge benefit, right? So we don’t want to run around and be a bunch of, you know, bag of dicks, right? That’s, that’s not not most people. That’s not their intent. Right. Want to go out there? Give some value and have some fun, right without hurting someone. Right, you know, you know, too bad anyways, right? Yeah. Don’t want to rough them up too bad. But have some fun. It sounds to me like you’re building some resilience is Isn’t that right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 50:46

Oh, yeah, absolutely. You know, it’s like the more and more that you put yourself out there then you realize it’s all fun like for me. I know like canceling people is the thing and stuff but like for me if someone a group of people got mad at me, I have fun. Little bit. I actually wanted in some way but that since I desired so much, I think I’d pushed that away. I don’t think people want to cancel me anymore. So I don’t

Brandon Handley 51:11

know man. So really I had a lot of fun here guys. I think there’s a anybody’s listening to this. I think there’s a lot of value in Brandon and what you’ve brought here today. And thanks for sharing. I you know what I did want to touch on this last piece right was it’s like, I don’t think we’ve touched on it in the podcast, which is like coming from a place of spirituality, and how scary that was for you and what, how did it open up for you after you started leading with spirituality?

Brandon Marshall Havener 51:38

I think it was scary for me in many ways because, you know, wondering if a family was going to think I was crazy or friends and peers. So that was it was something that I had to lean into and and deal with the judgment or I think one big thing is having a stable job, like so is mixed with entrepreneurship. And I remember my dad was kind of pushed trying to push me into being a like an electrician or something which is fairly out of the rubble what I would do good. So I think a big thing that I had to do was stand up to that even saying, like, No, I just want to do this coaching thing and maybe have them feel like I’m a weirdo or I’m out of my mind for a minute by like detaching myself from my parents expectations or my family expectations and go in my own way, even when people don’t believe in it.

Brandon Handley 52:29

Yeah, that’s, that must have been tough, too. Right? attaching from that feeling. So I think that’s super important for people to hear and understand. It’s like, you know, kind of go your own way right. Letting Go. And you said it earlier to was kind of be open to kind of everything but attached like nothing type of thing.

Brandon Marshall Havener 52:46

Yeah. Right. A big thing was having a job too. There was like shame and not having a job. When it was going full time into business. It was really helpful having a mastermind that like everyone was like, Hey, you know, actually yeah. You know, like, cuz like all my life people would be like wager quitting your job. Why? So that was really helpful as well.

Brandon Handley 53:07

That’s great. So where should people go to find you?

Brandon Marshall Havener 53:13

You can find me I’ll say two things. Sorry I offended you podcasts. You can find it on iTunes, Spotify, Google, whatever else it’s on. It’s on like 50 like 50,000 platforms but uh or you could also go to spiritual smart ass, read calm and find my social media links and current programs and stuff like that.

Brandon Marshall Havener 53:35

Who’s your ideal client?

Brandon Marshall Havener 53:37

My ideal client is the artist that is the artist, the rebel. You know, the people that want to break the rules and the people who want to express a unique sense of art and maybe they didn’t feel like the rules made sense in business for them, but they want to put they want to apply that to business. They don’t want it to be a hobby. They want to be respected as a business owner. While also respecting their own creativity.

Brandon Marshall Havener 54:04

Awesome, man. Thanks for joining me

Brandon Marshall Havener 54:05

today. Absolutely. Thank you for having me.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Come on in and check out this interview with the Clicks and Mortar Queen Donnalynn Riley.

Donna tells an amazing story of how she went from being the CEO of a retail chain to becoming a Spiritual Coach who is helping entrepreneurs bring ALL of who they are to their businesses.

Connect with Donnalynn here at her site:

https://www.donnalynnriley.com/

Also, Donnalynn has a 5 Day Masterclass you can sign up for in order: Get Out Of Your Head,
Embrace Your Imperfections &
Get On Track With Your Business!

https://www.donnalynnriley.com/5dc-reg

  • user avatarbrandon handley00:02All right, 54321 Hey there, spiritual dope. I’m on today with Donna Lynn Riley, who is a licensed spiritual health coach who helps people develop evolve and grow.
  • 00:17The answers they find that their journey, bring them to a new level clarity and emotional adjustment to help them develop their expertise in business systems management and marketing.
  • 00:25And addition to her 12 years as a licensed coach her background is the CEO of a multimillion dollar corporation.
  • 00:31informs her ability to help her clients navigate the inner workings of business systems Operations Management and Marketing so they can successfully put it all together themselves.
  • 00:42I’m going to cut it down because that, that’s great. And I’m so excited because, as we’re going back and forth a little bit here earlier. This is exactly what this podcast is about. So thank you for joining me today.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley00:53Oh, it’s my pleasure. It’s great what you’re doing. It’s great that you’re talking about this. It’s really good.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:58Thank you. Thank you. So you mentioned that you’d call it a couple of podcasts. So what I always like to say is you know you’re here today. We’re using this podcast as a vehicle to send somebody out there a message, what is it that they need to hear this coming through you today.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley01:17Well, I always think people need to know that life can be a lot easier than we’re making it. I think that that’s a place where
  • 01:29Almost invariably people don’t believe that. Right. They just go like, nah, couldn’t be that I got to work harder. I gotta do more. I gotta you know think more
  • 01:43I have to put out more effort. It’s got a cost more. There’s got to be a big, you know, emotional or financial cost to the things that I want in life and really
  • 01:54Life can be so much easier than we make it. And I think that that’s the benefit of of this approach of a spiritual practice that supports.
  • 02:06Business life and certainly family life, when I know lots of coaches who do that as well. And, you know, really kind of make it better, just make your life better.
  • user avatarbrandon handley02:16Yeah, no, absolutely. So the idea is that life doesn’t have to be so hard.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley02:21Really doesn’t
  • user avatarbrandon handley02:23And and also throw out there. I think in the first person that I know that’s worked on Broadway. Right. And this is this is a story that you tell
  • 02:30In one of your one of your videos right and helping once you tell people use that story real quick here right now. I love that story about just what you said there.
  • 02:41Do you remember so so I’ll take it away. So you were around 19 your brothers like 10 years old or new
  • 02:47Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
  • 02:50Yeah yeah
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley02:50Okay, okay. I gotcha. Sorry about that.
  • 02:54I was like I was there a long time. I don’t know.
  • user avatarbrandon handley02:58Just getting into it right and
  • 02:59How easy how easy sometimes
  • 03:01For you.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley03:01Yeah. So what I love about that is that, um, so. Okay, so let me let me kind of lay it out here so I’m like 19 years old I
  • 03:11You know, I’m just out the gate. Right. But I’m 10 foot tall and bulletproof because so was everybody when you’re 19
  • user avatarbrandon handley03:18Right. Yeah, absolutely.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley03:19And so when you’re not very dinged up
  • 03:22You know, you just think like everything’s okay and it’s going to work out for me and I kind of lived my life like that really clearly I wanted, and I got things I wanted them and they lined up.
  • 03:35So, um, I found myself on on Broadway, which I totally expected right because I wanted it. So, and I didn’t know any better, and
  • 03:46And my brother who’s 10 years older than I am. He, he knew better. And he is a he is still actually a scenic artist. And so I was a sound designer. He was a scenic artist and
  • 04:01He was working down the block. So I was working on Angels in America, and he was working on City of Angels, which I love that. But there were all these angel references. That’s kind of
  • user avatarbrandon handley04:14Sure, yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley04:15And. And he said, Oh, let’s, um, he was like down the block. And I hadn’t seen him in months. It wasn’t like, you know, we were spending Sunday night dinners together or something.
  • 04:24And he said, Let’s go for lunch. And I was like, yeah, this is great. Yeah, owning the town, you know, in my, in my own head, right.
  • 04:32Sure. And he said, you, you. He’s walking me to the to the place to get something to eat and
  • 04:40He said, You just don’t have any idea what it costs to get here. You don’t have any idea what these people around you have had to do to get where they want to go and in typical sort of 19 year old fashion. I thought, nope.
  • user avatarbrandon handley04:59Right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley04:59I don’t care.
  • 05:00Sure, you know, really, for me, I realized that it is a story that’s centered around entitlement. Right, so it’s not very popular this moment, but
  • 05:10Being able to see yourself.
  • 05:13In the position that you want to be to be able to know that these are things that can happen for you as well as somebody else because
  • 05:24You put the work in and you are talented and you did you know you met the right people and you were in the right place and you took the all the steps to get there.
  • user avatarbrandon handley05:32Right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley05:33There by choice. You don’t get to be on Broadway. If you suck.
  • 05:37You do not need. All right.
  • 05:39All right, but they send you home.
  • user avatarbrandon handley05:42Well, you know, I think.
  • 05:43I think that um I love how you’re hitting on entitlement in this insane and in this way because why should it not
  • 05:53Backup people like people bash millennials for kind of having like that kind of entitlement thing. Right. Well, what I admire about that, you know, I think that they would say you got Moxie kid right like kinda back in, but
  • 06:07You know what you want and you’re not settling for something that you don’t. So is that entitlement, or is that knowing your worth.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley06:17Right. It’s really tricky. It’s really tricky and it is a lot about alignment and I’ve been fortunate to hear you talk about alignment on the podcast previously and
  • 06:28It’s a really crucial step in that process. So,
  • 06:34Of course, if we want to get kind of
  • 06:37Cultural about it, then we can we can sort of back it up a little and say, Well, some people have a lot of things that support the belief already in their lives when they’re born, and when they’re, you know, one and two and three and so it, it becomes
  • 06:55There becomes a divide, but it’s a divide in belief.
  • user avatarbrandon handley07:00100%
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley07:00You know, so it’s a it is a really tricky thing. And the important thing for me in the work that I do with people.
  • 07:09Is to whether you’ve ever experienced that belief or not before is to help you to find that belief because without it is very, very, very difficult to get where you want to go. I, I know people who have done it. It’s like they kind of stumbled into their success and that’s okay.
  • user avatarbrandon handley07:25That’s true, but it’s not very reliable.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley07:29And so, you know, doing the inner work to create a system of belief for yourself so that
  • 07:36It doesn’t sound crazy that you’re going to have a successful business or that you’re going to get a client that you want to or that you’re going to get employees that work out well for you and things like that. I’m doing that inner work makes
  • 07:51All the outer stuff kind of
  • 07:52Line up real quick, like the story I just told where I went from two years or three years I spent in sound design, we’re learning from the best in the business. I was already learning from the people who were there, right.
  • 08:06And and and and so I was able to do that very quickly, where a lot of my classmates in college got there 1015 years later, and they worked a lot harder for something because they didn’t believe
  • 08:23They didn’t know
  • 08:23They thought, oh, I have to go out and do something else first
  • user avatarbrandon handley08:27Right. We listen, even me today, right now with this podcast. I love it so much. I want to put this, I want to put this
  • 08:36Nice polish on, I want to make it feel so good. I want it to be inviting you know
  • 08:40That, you know, and this isn’t wrong to hire somebody in marketing, but I like I really want these pieces I wanted to look so I want it to be so accepted because it’s so
  • 08:48meaningful to me right so I’m putting these blocks in
  • 08:53For myself, right. I’m just putting these. Oh, I gotta do this like nothing can happen until this happens and all these other things and and literally that is in my own mind, nobody else’s. I mean, nobody nobody else cares. That’s just me. Right.
  • 09:07Right. So when you’re out there.
  • 09:11And your clientele and and you’re working I do they seek you out for one or the other, do you introduce like you know
  • 09:20To the business pressure, like, well, if you just loop in some spirituality, then this might be better for you, like, tell me a little bit how this process of working with you, looks
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley09:30Yeah, so I kind of stand between that space right I stand between entrepreneurs and small business people who are
  • 09:40That’s what they do. That’s what they’ve learned. They have a strong background or they have a strong desire but they don’t necessarily have any spiritual practice at all.
  • 09:49And I sort of stand between that and the people who are very spiritually open but can’t figure out how to turn the computer on right
  • 09:59And rent like can’t figure out the details of, like, how do I charge people. And why would they pay me and
  • 10:06These kinds of like nuanced things that, of course, they have a lot of talent and they have a lot of
  • 10:13Value in the world, but so I do kind of stand in between those two spaces, I would say that for the most part, most of the people that I work with are
  • 10:26Are on the business side but are open.
  • user avatarbrandon handley10:30Okay.
  • 10:31Because okay you can
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley10:32Sort of insert and this is not you know there are a lot of really involved spiritual practices.
  • 10:39And they have value that is beyond what I’m about to express right so this is not to disparage any spiritual practices. I think they all have a lot of value and
  • 10:51But you can in a very short period of time with with not a ton of work right. You don’t have to go and study with the monks for 18 years right with with putting a practice into your life. You can attain a lot of result and a lot of ease in your life.
  • 11:12A lot less frustration, a lot of movement forward right so you can start to assess your situation better and access yourself in moments that are stressful better and all of these things lead to better businesses.
  • 11:30But aren’t always they’re not really taught too often.
  • user avatarbrandon handley11:35I mean, if you have the capability to kind of calm yourself down in the moment, or just realize what you’re about to say or
  • 11:43If you’re feeling tense right so what I’m hearing you say is like you’re giving them some of these tools to to really kind of ease into themselves and what they’re about.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley11:51Yeah, there’s bigger work that we do in order to make lasting change. And that really happens inside one on one trainings that I do or or inside group work that I do with people, but
  • 12:08There are so many little what we would call hacks right there, little, like, oh, if I do this, I feel a little better.
  • 12:16Right. And those are emergency hacks, you know, and they’re really useful. They’re a great way to get started. I think because
  • 12:26Getting a little relief reminds you that you’re probably going to get more relief. If you keep going in that direction. And I think that’s a great place to start, particularly for people who are
  • 12:41Who don’t have a strong spiritual background but know that like there’s something going on in my mind set or those kinds of words are being used a lot recently. Right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley12:51Right I yeah for sure. For sure. Right. Well, I mean, it’s funny because, you know, I think I started off in the mindset space right but now in this
  • 13:01Next level space right where you do this practice, like you said, For doesn’t have to be 18 years but you do it repeatedly and you start with like the mindset. You start with the small pieces and
  • 13:13You keep just kind of growing into these other spaces and these other practices that are available to and sooner or later you like I guess they were all right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley13:26I love that. Right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley13:30Right.
  • 13:31Right. So, I mean, I guess you know there’s something in those things and what they’re saying and what they’re doing.
  • 13:37But, you know, so what what led you into this pace yourself.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley13:43Well,
  • 13:45You know, that’s a good question. I, when I look back at my life. I see all these moments like the one that I just described when I’m like very young.
  • 13:54That fit into this kind of way of thinking and this way of being. But I was really pretty unaware of myself and my spirituality until actually my husband got a life threatening disease.
  • 14:15And or problem he got a tumor in his brain cavity.
  • 14:20And he when he was very young. He spent a lot of time in hospitals. And so we went to the first doctor and it was a big emergency and he said, I’m getting a second opinion. And then we went to the next doctor who you know we we finagle their way into the good doctors and all of that and
  • 14:43We went and he described it. And he said, Oh yeah, you have a little time because I’m very good at this. But, you know, you got to get in here in the next month or something. So it was no longer like a huge emergency we have little time.
  • 14:56Sure, and
  • 14:59We were driving home. It was in New York City. We live in Massachusetts. It was a long drive home. We were driving home and my husband said to me.
  • 15:06Yeah, no, I’m not. I’m not doing that I’m not doing that. I don’t know what we’re going to do, but I think you should find me another solution because I don’t, I’m not going to do that.
  • 15:17And that being that you just that just have him for you have been for me. I was like, oh,
  • 15:23Wow, okay. That should be my job.
  • 15:25Okay.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley15:29No question.
  • 15:31In fairness, I’m sure he was very overwhelmed in that moment.
  • user avatarbrandon handley15:35Right out
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley15:36Here and and so that was the beginning. That was the kickoff for me to really
  • 15:45Take a look at what is possible. So, and be completely outside the box. Yeah. So once I sort of had to be completely outside the box. Then the possibilities became very, very different.
  • 16:00So it kicked off a series of involvements with people who could help his health and who could do it in very untraditional ways
  • 16:11And also, who required of both of us that we change drastically that we, the concept that we had gotten ourselves into this mess, and that we were going to get ourselves out of this mess was not one that I heard in the doctor’s office.
  • 16:31Was and it was really clear and so
  • 16:34And within
  • 16:37A few months, we were both licensed spiritual health coaches, we probably took, I don’t know, six months, nine months, something like that for that process and we said, Okay, this is this, we’re leaning in because we are not going where that other train was going
  • 16:59Okay, so. So that’s really the beginning of when I became a much, much more aware of myself of my thoughts of my
  • 17:09Relationship to the world of my discomfort that I had become just completely accepting of right I had just said, Oh, well that’s the way life is, you know and and really be in that awareness, I found new answers.
  • user avatarbrandon handley17:28So, um, you know what, I guess the one thing is right when you’re we’re 19 and your earlier years before you
  • 17:37had developed an awareness, you would be, what would we call you know
  • 17:43Was it
  • 17:45Unconscious competence, right, like you and I were you, you were already aligning yourself and you weren’t aware that you were doing it. And then once you kind of develop this newfound awareness.
  • 17:56You were able to do this with intention and purpose.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley18:00That’s exactly right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley18:02Now, so, and also throw out like when you know so I was raised by a hippie mom grew up you know out San Francisco and she was always kicking the word awareness around right when I was growing up, I was like, I’m aware. You see me run into
  • 18:15I’ve ever run into a thing.
  • 18:18Right, I use it everything outside of me right everything outside of me. I was I was completely aware of. I didn’t miss a beat. Yeah didn’t miss a beat. But the awareness that I think that you’re talking about today is the awareness inside. Is that fair
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley18:32That’s exactly right.
  • 18:33That is exactly right and very hard to articulate. You did that quite well that
  • 18:39People, most of the time, feel like they are aware when they start working with me, they’re like, Yeah, yeah, I got that part, I need the accurate assessment. Come on, let’s get to the good stuff here.
  • 18:49And and that awareness that inner awareness and that ability to kind of be with yourself for periods of time in order to deepen that awareness is very important to the next steps. And so you’re absolutely right that people are like, I’m aware. Let’s fix my landing page.
  • user avatarbrandon handley19:16It’s all
  • 19:17It’s all marketing has nothing to do with what’s happening.
  • 19:19Right, right.
  • 19:21Nothing internal happening fixed that.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley19:23I just had that targeting right we would
  • 19:25All set. So, what what is what is like when when somebody first
  • user avatarbrandon handley19:29Starts off what’s uh what’s like one tool that you like to start them off with to
  • 19:35Begin to develop that inner awareness.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley19:39One of my favorite
  • 19:42Sort of
  • 19:47Let me go back a second here in my thinking. One of my tools that is the easiest for me to sort of give in this kind of a space.
  • 19:59Is actually
  • 20:00A little bit of mirror work. Now some people will know mirror work from different varieties of, you know, mindset work and spiritual work.
  • 20:10The mirror work that that I find is the fastest path to to becoming present
  • 20:22Which is really that first goal is just start being in your body.
  • 20:29Is a piece where you literally just sit with the mirror and look in the mirror in your eyes and say I am here.
  • 20:42Over and over and over. You’re sort of calling to yourself. Right. So there’s a lot of work that we do after that that involves breath and
  • 20:53Other types of awareness that we can
  • 20:55We can bring in
  • 20:57But
  • 20:59But that’s really the the space that I find people kind of are able to bring themselves into the room a little bit and say, oh, OK. I am actually here. Let me give this a shot. I’ll be president now.
  • user avatarbrandon handley21:12Well, I mean, cuz it’s, there’s still the physical aspect of it right, they’re still doing a physical activity, but then they’re also acknowledging that it’s them right right there in front of them and pulling themselves kind of gather right there.
  • 21:27Right, so I love that. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley21:29And it’s deliberate. It’s deliberate. So even though a lot of times when people start that process, they don’t know. It’s deliberate
  • 21:37They, they go like, well, I said the words and then I felt different. I don’t know what happened. Right. But in fact it there. There is a deliberateness to it. That is really important that you are impacting you
  • 21:53In that moment.
  • user avatarbrandon handley21:57Well, that, you know, being deliberate again, you know, intentional, knowing that you’re making this choice. I know that I kind of
  • 22:04laughed a little bit about it earlier, but you know, you get to wherever you are today. And I think this is what the spiritual coaches were probably telling you before you guys set the course that
  • 22:13You guys made the decisions to be in that situation right as as a collective even and you you guys when you first heard that you were just like what that’s done, nobody’s ever said that, you know, kind of that way right to us before
  • 22:29So, I mean, I’m assuming your husband still alive.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley22:32Oh, yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley22:35Like I hope the story has a good idea.
  • 22:37Because, you know, so
  • 22:39What happens right i mean you go in and he jumped into all this stuff, how, you know, how does it clear up on it never gets checked out again and somehow he still is what happened.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley22:48No, no. So what happens on that story is that we do the work we do the inner work and we do the emergency inner work and it is kind of emergency at that
  • 23:02Maybe for a year or so as you still feel like what’s happening.
  • 23:07And we he gets checked out again. And it’s shrinking.
  • 23:12Okay, and we have do have, I will say a spectacular doctor who’s actually a doctor.
  • user avatarbrandon handley23:20Sure, sure. And
  • 23:22It’s always handy to have one on standby.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley23:25WELL KNOW WHO DOES THIS WORK. Oh.
  • user avatarbrandon handley23:27Okay, that sounds even better yet,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley23:29He’s a trained Western doctor but functions in an Eastern paradigm
  • user avatarbrandon handley23:35Love it.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley23:36And so he his toolkit is very, very large. And he honestly I’ve seen. I’ve never seen a problem he hasn’t been able to impact positively and I have seen him deal with a lot of stuff now.
  • 23:53So, so we had the guidance we had long distance guidance, because he’s not right here in our backyard and
  • 24:01We had long distance guidance and we did the work. And that I think is the, the key to that is to sort of have somebody who’s ahead of you who can say, yeah, no, no, no. You’re going in a direction. You’ll be all right.
  • 24:14Sure, sure. And so eventually that tumor went away.
  • user avatarbrandon handley24:17That’s amazing. I love it. And so
  • 24:20You would attribute that almost all to the air work was there like a dietary change.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley24:26There were other changes. Yeah, absolutely. There were dietary changes, and we think there was
  • 24:35Well, in his particular case, it had a great deal to do with a inability to deal properly with pesticides and with wheat.
  • user avatarbrandon handley24:46In the
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley24:46On the dietary front. So there was that and
  • 24:54I think there was juicing and there was a lot of things.
  • user avatarbrandon handley24:57Which are look at
  • 24:59Things. Right.
  • 25:00Body. Sure, absolutely. Absolutely. So, and I think that’s, that’s interesting. The two right you know so change a die with this practice. I’m the things that are inside of you are the things that are outside of you know that this
  • 25:15Miracle doesn’t kind of happen on its own. You gotta, you gotta put it together and you got to maintain it and you know the things that do happen to it. Your body’s a miracle. Right. It’s amazing.
  • 25:28And it’s something like that’s happening in this story right you have the ability to change that without getting i don’t know i’m guessing he was getting a laser to the back of the head or something right was
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley25:39Wasn’t. No, no, they wanted to do full
  • 25:41On surgery.
  • 25:43can address and take goop out
  • 25:47And put goop in from other part.
  • user avatarbrandon handley25:52Was
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley25:53Unbelievably scary.
  • user avatarbrandon handley25:55Sure, sure. So, but, I mean, the what’s amazing too and your story is that a lot of people would have just gone ahead and gone that route. Right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley26:03And they would have tried to talk to your spouse into it. It’s their spouse said no. And that I think is something that is I, I have been very fortunate to be able to have that reciprocal relationship with my husband, where if one of us says, No, no, this is how I really feel about the thing
  • 26:20Yeah, even if the other one thinks like, ah, you’re just scarred, we should get you over that.
  • 26:26But there is enough space. And this is an important concept in in business in the way we live our lives in general. Right.
  • 26:35Is that there is enough space for us to be scarred and still have full and wonderful lives. It’s kind of I think of it a lot about
  • 26:45How you know how certain trees grow and they get these scars in them. And then we cut them up and we make them into coffee tables and we call them beautiful world would
  • 26:54Say. Isn’t that spectacular right
  • 26:57Well, that’s what we’re making yeah in ourselves, we have experienced life and things haven’t gone right and we have changed the way that we deal with things F, day after day after day and tried new approaches and had new experiences.
  • 27:14And all of those things are brought into this present moment. And if you allow them then finding a new answer that. That doesn’t mean you have to like check out your whole personality becomes somebody else right
  • user avatarbrandon handley27:32Right, right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley27:32No, no, it’s okay. You can go spend time in the hospital.
  • 27:36Right show. You don’t have to be someone else. You can be you and you can be successful.
  • user avatarbrandon handley27:41Right. Well, yeah. And in regards to write the
  • 27:46Merging all this together. Right.
  • 27:48But I’ll say it. I love Maplewood like the birds. I’m April, right, that’s kind of one of the one of the times, you’re talking about right and it does become so beautiful. Right. I’m like, I’m over you’re sitting right now we’re turning ourselves into beautiful maple tables but
  • 28:02I love, I love the story that you’re telling about that. I think that that’s great.
  • 28:09So let’s just I want is, what if some of that wasn’t working at any point would didn’t feel like, you know, because I don’t want to get the impression that
  • 28:19You shouldn’t keep a doctor nearby. Right. I mean, because you guys kept the doctor nearby that right live as he was a Western medicine doctor that yes also specialize in this space.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley28:29I think that the the message that should not be taken from my experience is, go do something extreme like I did right and that the message that should be taken, I hope people take from my experience is be true to yourself and find your own answers.
  • 28:54Because they are there, but they’re only there if you calm down long enough to allow them to sort of become revealed. They weren’t there in the doctor’s office right only the first step, which was no I know what I don’t want
  • user avatarbrandon handley29:10To
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley29:11But there wasn’t the step of, like, I know what I do want. Right. Yeah.
  • 29:16Yeah. And in fact, I think that something very important happened there because it was life threatening. Right, it’s not
  • 29:23It’s not the same as in business where things can go right or wrong and we can find our own alignment. Right. But in this scenario. I think one of the most
  • 29:35impactful things that happened was that my husband had someone to turn to and say, You figure it out because he then could go about the business of lining up with becoming well
  • 29:51He didn’t know how, but he had faith.
  • 29:53Yeah, leaf. He said, This person loves me and they’re relatively smart. They’ll figure it out.
  • user avatarbrandon handley30:02Well, I think you bring the other one up to which I always love you don’t have to know how you don’t have to know how you just have to know that that’s what you want. That’s right. Right. And us where they can just
  • 30:16Move forward in that direction. You know, as if it’s not Nestle like I i get i get a little caught up in between, like Law of Attraction with like, you know,
  • 30:28Spirituality space, right. I don’t think that they’re one the same. I think they’re very close, but I don’t I don’t I don’t like to make a sandwich out of, I guess.
  • 30:37Um,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley30:38But so many ways to look at life you know
  • 30:41It would be a shame to sort of collapse it into only one way
  • 30:46Hundred percent I think that’s one of the reasons that the concept of spirituality so appealing to me is that it’s big.
  • user avatarbrandon handley30:53Right, it’s yours.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley30:54I can be a part of this energy and I can be a part of that energy and I don’t have to really understand it intellectually. I just have to decide that I’m willing to be a part of that.
  • user avatarbrandon handley31:05Right. No, I see ideas. Do you even know how you’re here. Right. I mean, we don’t even understand how we’re here to begin with, I mean. So where does that leave us so
  • 31:19Let’s talk a little bit more about the outside of the story. Thanks for sharing that. That was
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley31:22My pleasure. Thanks for bringing it up. I, I had
  • 31:26Was I was gonna tell it.
  • user avatarbrandon handley31:27Yes. I mean you know that, but that’s that’s kind of how you got into this space. And then, you know, I’m guessing that you kind of incorporated. Now some of this spiritual practice modality. And you were seeing the benefits that it was having in the business space.
  • 31:41So at
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley31:42That time
  • 31:43I was actually the CEO of a corporation.
  • 31:46Okay, so
  • 31:49This was what my life was like, like my every day was going to work as the CEO of a corporation.
  • 31:56Right, so, you know, to, to become to to shift perspective in this massive way and then go back to work the next day and be like,
  • 32:08Oh yeah, I’m gonna do it, just the way I used to do it.
  • 32:11Let them work out.
  • 32:13Right, so there had to be for me a re assessing a real understanding of the business world so that and the end the specifics of my business involvement with people so that I could find peace with the
  • 32:36The
  • 32:38Pathway that we were on
  • user avatarbrandon handley32:40Okay.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley32:40So I had many years to do that. I didn’t leave that world until
  • 32:452014 and I that the story I told. And when I got my licensure was well
  • 32:55The story I told started in 2007
  • 32:58Okay, so it was putting a time in their
  • 33:02Right to Try concepts out to go to work and to feel differently about things and then see what happens. And now have to take action right away.
  • 33:12To decide that your solution to this relationship problem with an employee with the board of directors with it. Whoever whoever you’re dealing with with with the clients themselves.
  • 33:27That you are going to shift that but not by going in and saying something different or doing something different and being like, I am different. Now, now you behave differently, right, which is how people love to approach it.
  • 33:38Sure does not work doesn’t work, just
  • 33:42But to really be able to take the time to say okay I am willing to to try everything that I have learned out on myself and to teach it to my staff and to pass it along to people who come and ask for it.
  • 34:02There was a lot of opportunity right now. I’m seeing a lot of people in a day. And there’s a lot of opportunity and people will ask you the wildest things
  • 34:10Sure. And so
  • 34:14Yeah, so I had that I had that. And so that was a way for me to really shift the way that I saw business. And what I knew for a fact would work in business.
  • 34:27I had a lot of knowing what didn’t work. And some of what did work. I had attained a position and, you know, was filling that position. Well, and all of that. But I really was able to sort of AMP that all up by
  • 34:40By being able to try these things and not know
  • 34:45If they were going to work.
  • 34:47And do them anyway.
  • user avatarbrandon handley34:49What would be an example of that.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley34:55Well, there was at one point there was a time when the board of directors was not happy with me.
  • 35:04Man I know, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t even make sense.
  • 35:06No, it doesn’t. It kind of in this world.
  • 35:09And and was not happy with anyone in my
  • 35:15In my purview at all like not like there was no one. And so there was one particular board member who would come in and
  • 35:24Kind of create difficulty. Right. It was a time of change. And I was directing the, the company in a direction that was scary and different and new
  • 35:36And that was not really okay for that board and so that member would come in and and sort of undermine what was happening or stand in the way of what was happening.
  • 35:49And I don’t think that was the intention, but I think that it was really to look out for the company and to like really well founded. But really bad idea. And so this went on for
  • 36:05Several weeks several weeks and different members of my staff kept coming to me and saying, what are we going to do this can’t go on and I would have a chat and, you know, it still went on and that was the way it was. And I had tried a lot of business solutions for this.
  • 36:23But one day I decided that I was going to just focus on the inner work and I spent all of my off time
  • 36:34Doing that inner work and it was a process it. A lot of times people like me to sort of distill it down into one thing that I did. And certainly, I could name some things that you can do in that scenario but
  • 36:48Really, the important thing was that I was no longer tied to the outcome based on yesterday.
  • 36:56So that we had been through it right. This has been going on for weeks, we had tried everything we know what didn’t work. We know. No, no. Right. But we didn’t really we didn’t because today is a new day.
  • 37:09And this is a new moment.
  • 37:11Right. And so once that happened once there was a disassociation with the past, then
  • 37:19The process of becoming holy present and allowing the other people to become wholly present other this person in particular.
  • 37:29Then the, the issues that are around, it can be dealt with and the attitude can shift. And there can no longer be. It doesn’t have to be an aggressive situation, which is what had developed
  • 37:41Right. But once that all dissipates. Then you can have the real conversations about the work that really should be being done in those in that scenario.
  • 37:52Right, I should be held accountable for that in my position and that person should be able to say what they have to say. But there was no space for
  • 38:00Any of that.
  • 38:02And to east and east and east and about two weeks later, one of the gentlemen that work for me came to me and said, What did you do
  • 38:13What did you do
  • 38:14Well you fixed it for you, but you didn’t fix it for me.
  • 38:19And I said, Well, I could teach you what it was like, why can’t you just fix it.
  • user avatarbrandon handley38:26That’s funny. That’s funny. So one of the things that you kind of, you start out there to with the is not having to take action right away, right, because we feel that
  • 38:36We need to take this action immediately to for some type of corrective measure like
  • 38:42Where the like where the savior of whatever is happening, they’re like, well, there’s no we got to fix this. Right. But you’re saying though, you just kind of step back. Yeah. But some of the things just play out on their own and right
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley38:55Yeah, that’s exactly right. That’s exactly right. There’s actually a three step process that I teach that
  • 39:02Is a called the triple a method of transformation and that three step process is really important. Some people get one step.
  • 39:12Some people get two steps, but rarely do we hear people talk about the third, the middle step right
  • 39:18Right. So the first step in that is awareness and we’ve talked a lot about that today, which is
  • 39:23Wonderful. And the third step in that is the action stage right the adaptation. What are you going to do, usually people kind of jump from one to the other and they go, they go like, yes, I’m aware there’s a problem. Now I have a solution.
  • 39:38And it’s the middle step that is the most important and that really isn’t an accurate assessment, you can’t make an accurate assessment, unless you’re in a receiving mode you’re in a
  • 39:58Listening period. A watching period a learning period right it’s you can’t assess something. If you think you know everything about it already.
  • 40:09So you have to do the exploration that is that middle stage that’s between Awareness. Awareness of yourself awareness of your situation and then
  • 40:21Learning so that you can be accurate in your assessment. And that’s, I think, really where most of the time it all falls apart is that the assessment is not accurate.
  • 40:33Hmm. And so that’s how you jump from the one step to the other step is that you go like now I got this move on.
  • 40:43But you don’t know yet. But there’s like a guy behind the curtain run and my thing. You know what I mean.
  • 40:48Sure.
  • 40:49So that’s
  • user avatarbrandon handley40:51That’s more than you know awareness of your thought process awareness of the, you know, conscious choices awareness of doing these things.
  • 41:00With purpose and intention, but also, you know, I like how you bring up this you know accurate assessment piece because it was just yesterday as matter of fact I sat down with a transformational coach and
  • 41:14It was what you’re saying here is you can assess, but kind of like a and I feel like this is what I had done right I assess the situation quickly.
  • 41:24And felt that was good enough. Right. And then he goes, Well, I think, actually, you need to go one more layer deeper. Yeah. And he took me one more layer deeper. And I was like, Oh my gosh, you know,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley41:35Totally different answer to. Right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley41:37Well, totally different answer. Totally different feeling totally different space in place and you know
  • 41:44Therefore, ergo my assessment initially was not accurate. Yeah, that’s right. Right.
  • 41:53And you know we’re here. We keep learning and this, this is even has to do with just, you know, if you’re working with a client, they feel like they know who they are. All right. And you’ve got it you what you’re doing is you’re helping them to slow down and
  • 42:07Truly learn who they really are. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley42:09That’s exactly right. That’s exactly right. And I think that was true for me. So I think that one of the things that makes it easier for me to
  • 42:18To talk to people is that I’ve stood someplace. Very, very similar to where they’re standing and so that feeling like I know especially having some early success.
  • 42:30Right, sure. No, I do. No.
  • 42:33No, I did it. I know how to do it. No, no, actually you don’t
  • 42:39Because you did it, but you didn’t know how you did it.
  • 42:41Yeah, you did it, but you can’t repeat it, and
  • 42:46Source, all of that.
  • user avatarbrandon handley42:48Sure, yeah.
  • 42:50But it’s looking those steps and and and i think that we’ve been fortunate, right, like a laughed at the beginning how there’s, you know,
  • 43:00There’s pathways for us to take you know that the plenty of people have done this before us. We’re not the first people to show up like I got this.
  • 43:08Follow me like there’s no whole whole society is built on this and
  • 43:13We’re lucky that we’ve got that available to us right that framework, the possibility to kind of
  • 43:18Go to even you right or you know your spiritual coaches to run them in the first time, like there’s a whole nother way.
  • 43:25And it fits into this and, oh, I can get the same results by but but by doing it this way instead of this other brash like I’m going to take the bull by the horns and crush everybody mentality. Right. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley43:40Yeah, I, I, actually, when I first kind of got that there was another way and that it was actually more effective I so I had been into herbs, my whole life where I felt like I i liked spices in my food, and I
  • 43:54I knew some of the properties of things. And I would you know give myself cold medicine by eating the garlic or whatever it was. Right, sure, and and
  • 44:03I got that there was, I knew about herbs and spices that there were in different parts of the world, they would do the same things, but be totally different plans.
  • 44:13And I was like,
  • 44:14Oh, I don’t really get why that’s true, that you can take turmeric from India and you can take, you know, yarrow from North America and you’re going to get a similar thing and happening for you.
  • 44:29And I, I knew that it was possible, but I couldn’t make any sense of it until we got to this concept, this concept of being present and being aware
  • 44:44And showing up in a new way and then taking action. Then I got, oh, there are just so many ways, right. I could have said 10 different things in that moment.
  • 44:57And gotten a really similar response to that, or maybe my relationship problem, like I’ve, I’ve worked with people a lot with
  • 45:07business relationships where they’re particularly with employees, where they’re not getting the results they want with the employees and they feel like it’s the employees problem.
  • 45:18And that works. The first or second or third employee, but it does not work after that.
  • 45:23To face a few things.
  • 45:26And you can try all the techniques you want, right, there’s a lot of management techniques and those i’m sure can be effective in under certain circumstances.
  • 45:37But really when you’re willing to do that work inside you and the technique, doesn’t matter anymore because
  • 45:45The result can happen regardless of the technique that you’re using, sort of like that plant it’s planted in a, you know, different sides of the earth, but it’s helping your body because the world is meant to support us for sure that’s what that’s what is here for
  • user avatarbrandon handley46:01At least from our perspective. Hundred percent hundred percent
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley46:05Plant feels like it’s there for them.
  • user avatarbrandon handley46:08But what I just I just saw like you know I think somebody talk. I think I was listening to Wayne Dyer right and he’s talking about like if you lift the seeds or whatever and you plant them that they take in that your DNA, and they grow to to you.
  • 46:21Yeah, so
  • 46:22So I’ll always always something interesting.
  • 46:26Always something interesting. Geez, you said something there that I wanted to hit on but uh what you know.
  • 46:34So what are some. What are some that’s what’s gonna say, so you’re, you know, the techniques become
  • 46:42More like a again a vehicle for what’s inside of you, right, and that’s your focal point, you’re like, All right, you know,
  • 46:49It’s the techniques, not working. It’s because I look I take to jujitsu right and oftentimes the, the deal is, I’m using a technique, but I’m also trying to put all this force power behind like
  • 47:04Running grown in
  • 47:06But it’s when I relax and just simply apply the technique.
  • 47:11That it works. I’m like, why, what this doesn’t make any sense. Right. So again, it sounds like you know if you do the inner work and you figure out kind of what’s in you just you just kind of let that out, Masha, but you focus it gently on the technique, it works.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley47:23Yeah, we’re back where we were when we started right life can be a lot easier than we make it
  • user avatarbrandon handley47:30And and so you know what what are
  • 47:34What are some of the other things that you’re finding with your clients right. How are they, what’s their reception been to their new selves.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley47:44Reception to their new cells. Fantastic question.
  • 47:48Wow. I like I’m pretty good.
  • user avatarbrandon handley47:54Sure.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley47:55You know, it feels a lot better to be not frustrated and not irritated and have a new way to accept your imperfections and to say I can be whole and I can show up and I can shift my life in these ways where I get the result that I want and still be may
  • user avatarbrandon handley48:18Not have to
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley48:19Turn into somebody else. I mean, I think these are the kinds of things that a lot of times people really feel like, all right, I want to go there. So I’ll just be someone else for a while.
  • 48:33They
  • 48:34Got themselves off from themselves, right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley48:36So,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley48:37And this is how people end up to be older and more bitter.
  • 48:43And then eventually at some point they say I’m not doing that anymore. And sometimes that’s at retirement age sometimes that’s a lot earlier.
  • 48:52You’re really lucky if you don’t have a lot of patience for that kind of thing in your life.
  • user avatarbrandon handley48:57Well, you know, you know, recently, my wife, she she hit that point right she just said this is enough. This is too much and and she’s now you know we come from two different types of backgrounds. Right.
  • 49:08Where she came from, you know, the you work hard, you get a job you keep that job for as long as you can, it’s safe. It’s good. They watch out for you.
  • 49:16But at what cost, right, I think you’d mentioned that to like what costs like you’re the costs.
  • 49:22Is you your life, your, your whole, you know, they call it grind it out for a reason. You’re losing each day to the grind. So I don’t want to keep you too long, but this has been, I’ve had a lot of fun with this conversation.
  • 49:35A lot of fun with this conversation.
  • 49:37Where, where should and we did talk about you do have something coming up. I want to make sure people know that you’ve got this, you’ve got this challenge come out to us talk on that.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley49:45You. I do. I have a five day
  • 49:49Workshop, or I’m
  • 49:53Just loving the words just scramble away from you.
  • user avatarbrandon handley49:56Absolutely, it says all day every day.
  • 49:59To
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley49:59Day challenge coming up and it, it is called get out of your head. Embrace your imperfections and get on track with your business.
  • 50:10And so that’s what we’re going to do for five days, we’re going to go through the process and we’re going to really delve into that process. We talked a little bit more
  • 50:19Earlier about the AAA method of transformation and get to apply some of that and really see what kind of
  • 50:29changes we can make in such a short period of time for lots and lots of people to to quiet the noise to to find that space that we’ve been talking about and to still be wholly yourself to really embrace that you’re okay, as Your imperfections and then apply that process.
  • 50:51It’s a very interesting process, I think.
  • 50:53It will be really great to see how everybody does.
  • user avatarbrandon handley50:56That’s awesome. So what type of people should be attending this event.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:00Anyone who’s interested in business.
  • 51:05Who is open. Yeah.
  • 51:07Yeah, so this is this work is not easy. It’s not like, you know, kind of, you were talking about this with talking about your wife’s background and a lot of people come from a background where it’s kind of supposed to be hard. And when life is not fun. They say, what is it they say they say
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:27Oh my lemonade.
  • 51:31Life’s not supposed to be fair, I don’t know.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:33Yeah, all that
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:34All that stuff.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:35So what, like, I get that. And there are people who need that kind of structure in their life, and they’re not ready to let go of that that’s okay with me.
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:43Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:43Don’t come to mind.
  • 51:47But anyone everyone. I hope Pro has a business involvement writing particularly I work for the most part with entrepreneurs.
  • 51:57So you’re the driver of your business boat, it makes it much easier. And who wants to work on something and knows that the answer is somewhere in them might they’re willing to do some work for it. That is personal. That is development personal development work.
  • 52:20And and really you show up with willingness and I’d be happy to guide you all the way through the process that would be great.
  • user avatarbrandon handley52:30Awesome and listen.
  • 52:32You know, you’ve had you been a successful CEO, you started off successful businesses you sold businesses.
  • 52:41And, you know, for anybody, which website. Again, Donald in
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley52:46Donnellan Riley calm.
  • user avatarbrandon handley52:48Down. So head over to the site shine house or for videos yourself, you will be able to see
  • 52:53That she knows what she’s talking about. So I think that that’s really exciting. And, you know, we didn’t dig too deep into the business aspects of today. We just had a really great. I felt like conversation.
  • 53:03But you clearly know you know what it is that you’re doing. You’ve done the work you contains to do the work. And you know what you’re putting out. I think there’s no top notch really really quality stuff.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley53:13Thank you so much. It was really a pleasure to be here and to get to talk about this topic in such depth. So that’s really nice. It’s great that you’re talking about this in a in a really deep way this sort of spirituality and business and in that space.
  • user avatarbrandon handley53:28You know what, you got to be able to like you keep saying, and that’s what it means to bring all of who you are right, they’re not two separate things. If you keep your spiritual self over here and your material or reality over here, you’re missing out on the one, two punch you know
  • 53:44You really you’ve really got the opportunity to kind of blend you’re you’re working at 50% of capacity. Yeah, right. So he can
  • 53:51You know blend those two which which I know you can teach how to do what you get to bring to your workplace or wherever you decide to show up after you learn about who you are. It’s just, it’s that much more powerful. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley54:04It really is.
  • user avatarbrandon handley54:05Yeah. Hundred percent. Thanks again.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley00:59:18Thank you.