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Creating your muse Spiritual Dope

Brandon Handley 0:00
Good morning, it’s time to get up and go to work. And it’s always been one of my favorite lines from the Beastie Boys, right? I don’t remember what song that leads into. But it was always great. It’s got it’s got to be on Paul’s boutique. Right? Paul’s boutique was always one of my favorites. I still remember, still remember finding Paul’s boutique for the first time? Like what the hell? Where’s this? Ben? Right? Where has this been? such an amazing album. So Meg, and I go back and forth often on the whole idea of, of obviously, forcing something but needing to be have a muse, right, needing to have a muse needing the moment to be right to launch into your artwork or your thing, whatever it is that you do. And I think that, um, I think that what can happen is that you always wait for like that perfect moment. And sometimes the Muse doesn’t strike you or or like, you’ve got so much. You’ve got so much riding on that muse. And you won’t do something, because you’re waiting for that perfect moment. And I was thinking about that this morning, as I was like, man, I really don’t have a whole lot to share, per se. Or is it really the fact that you’re kind of waiting for that perfect something. And a lot of times, and I don’t do it as often as I’d like. But also there and I’ll write it out. Sometimes the podcast some of the early podcasts that I did, especially with, especially with setting up the the beginning, the divine, to divine peace, right, when I did the framework for that, definitely set that up went through each one wrote it all out. And it was definitely well thought out, I felt like it was well thought out, at least it was thought out there was a completion it was done before it was done, as it were, the framework was there and I created it. And then, um, you know that that process in of itself was like, Alright, well, when you got the idea, just flush it out. And you just got you got the idea, just do it and take one run at it. And you always have the opportunity to take another run at it. But the deal is, is like, if you keep building a resistance, you know, to this thing that you want to do. But you don’t feel like you’ve got the perfect thing that you can do for it, then you’ll always kind of you always have that resistance there. It’ll always be there. And you may never you may never, you may never overcome like that, that that tiny, tiny thing, right? That moment of perfection that moment of I know I can do so much better than this. This is crap.

You Why would I do? Why would I do this this thing and it’s not the greatest. And I bring that up like I said this morning, I was like, you know, I haven’t done them for a while. And I miss I miss doing all canaries sorry. You don’t see them that often. The deal is is like you don’t you get kind of stuck in like this pattern, right? You get stuck in a rut of not doing the thing that you want to do. So you never do it. And, you know, I would encourage you as you’re, you know, thinking about that thing that you want to do, right? I’m doing the course a creative personal mastery with us. Sreekumar Rao, what a great course. And this week, we’re doing a couple two different things. And the two different things that we’re going through our mindfulness, which I feel you know, I I’m fairly mindful, I’m not perfect at it by any stretch of the imagination. But I am much more present much more aware and much more mindful these days than I have been in the past 40 years. I can definitely I can definitely say that. And the other piece is being bigger than your problem. Being bigger than the situation. I think being bigger than the situation is better than saying bigger than the problem. That’s where this this comes in. That’s the idea of, of what we’re doing today is be bigger than the situation be bigger than where you’re at and saying something to yourself like, well, this isn’t perfect, well, maybe it’s not perfect. But that’s what begins the light leak. That’s what begins the crack in the dam. That’s what begins the everything for you, right, as soon as you begin to open up and let it trickle, you begin to let it trickle. And then it just it just at some point, it doesn’t stop, it blows it all up, right blows it through. And I guess it creates an erosion effect of the dam. And over time, each little bit that you take action on each little piece is one more step closer to where it is that you want to be. And who it is that you say you would like to be. When you when you go through this process, are you making a left, I’m making a left, we’re both making a left, I don’t trust you ready? 123. All right, thanks for not hitting me, when when we both win, when you begin to take those steps towards the thing that you say you want to do. No matter how small no matter how imperfect, you begin to erode that dam and you begin to step more confidently. And what I mean by that, think about the baby steps. And if you haven’t raised a child, then think about when you see a baby horse, right, a full, full, taking some of its first steps, and, and those legs are super wobbly. And they don’t know, the horse doesn’t know, the baby doesn’t know, it doesn’t have confidence in their capability of their limbs, and how are they going to work. And the next thing, you know, you can’t find can’t find the child. And and next thing you know, you’ve got that one year old, full, who’s now cold is running. I think they usually three years old, but you know, they’re running, they’re running races, the run races that are literally running circles around you know, something else. And the idea is, once you begin to get your bearing, once you begin to get past that moment of, I guess it’s like insecurity, of whether or not you feel like you have the perfect thing to say, you know, you begin to develop that confidence in yourself. And then you begin to just enjoy being that person who you are, there’s a lot more joy in letting, letting anything out really anything that you express good or bad. But especially when you express something that is in line with who you believe yourself to be at that

time. And I say it like that because over time you’re going to evolve and change and and i think that that’s very important to realize and recognize as well. Your core ideas and beliefs may always be your core ideas and beliefs. But over time, like there’s going to be the the the surroundings of those core ideas and beliefs are going to change and evolve and expand and whatnot. So who what is it that’s in your life right now that you you’ve been you know, kind of waiting for the perfect moment where you’ve been waiting to shine your light, right? Like I wrote, I wrote something the other day that really talked about this talking about it was a quote talking about coming out of decisions made and fear are never as good as the ones that made are made and like the feeling of abundance and whatnot and when when you when you begin to open up right when you begin to shine, that light when you begin to feel who you are right the fear begins to recede and you begin to you begin, you begin to feel again, right you begin to feel safe again, you begin to feel whole again, as who you are, again within intention of being, being who and what you want to be. And to me, that’s, that’s very powerful. As you it’ll allows you to see, it just allows you to feel more comfortable with who you are, right? And it doesn’t, it doesn’t have to be a big thing. What is it that you want to do that would be in alignment with who you are, that you kept yourself from doing. Because you feel like the moment needs to be perfect, or you feel like the moments not perfect. But all you got to do is just start, all you’ve got to do is just take one small action into into that space, and you’d begin to see yourself as the person that you you’ve been telling yourself that you are all this time. And to me, and for me, you know, this is all from experience. zahl from from experience for me and starting my first podcast and starting my second third, and being that person and being in alignment. And continuing to I don’t want to say evolve, expand, I would say expand on the ideas that that I have had interactions that I’ve had and expand on who it is that I’ve become Who who are you being in the end, right? Who is it that you want to be and start showing up like that. And again, once you start taking those small, incremental steps into that, then you’re going to feel you’re going to you’re going to feel that self confidence, you’re going to begin to feel more at home. with yourself, which is which is kind of it’s ironic, right? You’re going to begin to feel that confidence. And when you do, you step into that. That’s what everybody’s always talking about kind of stepping into your power, right step into your power. Fuck the people that are like, stupid to your power. Or like you’re stepping into your greatness. I remember talking to people at a convention years ago, and people really want to shy away from the fact that they are already great, right shying away from this, the idea that you are already everything that you need to be in order to be who you would like to be. And that’s it. That’s great. You know, everybody’s wants the ideas, like everybody’s endowed with the seeds of greatness. Right? You’re, it’s up to you to kind of nurture that and make it so and become the person that you’d like to become and in alignment with all the things. So hopefully, you know, like I said, so this one started off with like, just the idea of like, I just want to get in and do it again. I

haven’t done one for a while. And for me, I feel like that came out. Okay. Right. And for me, I feel good because I got in and did it today, right? It’s kind of like when you go to the gym, right? You don’t. You don’t always want to go to the gym. But when you’re done, you’re always glad that you went Alright, that’s it guys take it easy and hit me up on spiritual dope Brandon at spiritual dope.co

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Erin McCullough Spiritual Dope

Erin McCullough is a thought leader, an in-demand speaker and an international teacher that helps people create IMPENETRABLE JOY so that they can be calm, have peace of mind and meaning in their life, NOW! Erin had an Anxiety Disorder that had her holed up in her home for nearly a year. Through that experience she learned how and why that happened and developed strategies to overcoming and preventing it, which is what she now teaches. Erin vowed that when she found solutions to overcoming and preventing anxiety, she would do whatever she could to make sure that no one had that experience, so that has been her mission. Erin spent a decade studying the Mind/Body connection, Visualization and ways to still the mind. Over the decade she has created simple strategies to Overcoming and Preventing Anxiety, Stress, Worry and Overwhelm so that all her clients live a life intentionally in Joy. She has been an entrepreneur for 21 years and consulting businesses and business leaders for 16 years. If you question who you are and what you are meant to be doing in this life, let Erin help you discover your own path to joy.

Connect with Erin at https://www.erin-mac.com/

The transcript below is machine-generated and unedited.

Brandon Handley 0:41
Hey there spiritual dope. I’m on here today with Erin McCullough. She is a thought leader in the main speaker and an international teacher that helps people create impenetrable joy so that they can be calm, have peace of mind and meaning in their life. Now, Erin had an anxiety disorder that had her holed up in her home for nearly a year, through that experience to learn how and why that happened and develop strategies to overcoming and preventing it, which is what she’s now teaches. and vowed that she, when she found solutions to overcoming and preventing anxiety, she would do whatever she could to make sure that no one had that experience. So that has been her mission. There’s been a decade, studying the mind body connection, visualization and ways to still the mind. Over the decades, she’s created simple strategies to overcoming and preventing anxiety, stress, worry and overwhelm so that all her clients live a life intentionally enjoy. She has been an entrepreneur for 21 years and consulting businesses and business leaders for 16 years. If you question who you are, and what you’re meant to be doing in this life, let Erin help you discover your own path to joy. Erin, thanks for your work in through the technical difficulties. As a as I told you, I’m working on this newer platform. But thanks for thanks for joining today. How you doing?

Erin Mac 2:05
Oh my gosh, thanks for having me. I’m wonderful. How

Brandon Handley 2:08
are you never been better. My whole life has led up to this point. So you know, here we are. Here we are. So I like to start these off with the idea that we are deal sources. We’re talking about like a little bit before we got started here that we are all our source and that the universe speaks through us. And that right now in this moment, the universe is speaking through you to one of the listeners today. What do you have to tell that listener?

Erin Mac 2:36
Well, first and foremost, I believe it is our birthright to be predominantly in joy all day, every day. And if that’s not the experience you’re having, then keep listening. We’re going to talk about all the things strategies, and you know why we’re here what we’re meant to be doing. You know, all the things,

Brandon Handley 2:59
all the things all the things that I love, I love that you kind of chose joy had to go out and I had to go out and grab my, my joy mug. Oh, no. It’s actually like pretty much one of my favorite mugs right as the idea of what you kind of see out first thing I pick up and I carry around, I see I get to see the word joy everywhere I go when I’m drinking out of the mug. So definitely enjoy it. definitely enjoy the word joy and glad that we have the opportunity to talk about it. And I’m also going to be very honest with you. Before I went in, I checked you out a little bit more I was like what kind of fit is this? Right? What kind of fit is this? Because, you know, being a you know, more of a thought leader and all this I suppose like what’s the spirituality fit me and you know, so in your mind, though, like the work that you do is spiritual, you know, the the personal development is spirituality work. Is that set? Right? Is that fair? Yeah. Well, let’s talk about let’s talk about the journey, right, let’s talk about breaking through anxiety. Let’s talk about, you know, how you found yourself in an anxious position and kind of some of the things that you did to work your way through it.

Erin Mac 4:06
Awesome. So you know, my story has kind of like three moments, defining moments, if you will. The first started with the anxiety disorder that you spoke about. It actually came about in talk therapy. I was going to a couple’s group counseling with my husband at the time. And in that first session, I had a panic attack and I never had one before so I had no idea what it was. And the counselor picked up on it right away she explained all you know what it was and first she told me what it was she didn’t really exactly explain what it was. I figured that out later, but she told me that’s what was happening and and from there, you know, she said something’s obviously coming up for you. Would you like to do some individual work and In that individual work, you know, I was telling my trauma story over and over and over again. And what my body decided to do was put up the defense mechanism of anxiety. And so it got so bad that as you said, I hold myself up in my home. You know, it didn’t, it wasn’t an overnight thing and happened gradually, panic attacks, more panic attacks, then, you know, I had one was running, and I was training for a race at the time. And so I felt like I couldn’t run anymore, at least temporarily. And so I stopped running. And then I stopped teaching, I was a teacher at the time. And so it happens that way, you know, slowly, it’s not just one, you know, wake up, and, and no candu. After about nine months of that, she referred me to a homeopathic psychiatrist, who gave me a remedy after a three hour interview, that in 20 minutes basically cured me from the experience of anxiety. That’s the physical chemical piece, right? And I thought, wow, I have a new lease on life, you know, I can go and do all these things. But because of that experience, I was afraid, right. So I decided to move to Hawaii, and move to a small town and have a simpler life, right? Thinking that, you know, then I would never get triggered. And I would just live my life happily ever after in paradise. And unfortunately, while the chemistry piece was handled the mental emotional spiritual piece, not so much. And so I was still there. So in that simpler life, of course, I created anxiety, stress, and all that. So I moved to Hawaii. Immediately, in the first 24 hours, I started a business and I had a client. Within 18 months, I had 20 employees, multiple six figure contracts. And, you know, I was on my way to stress and anxiety. And the second thing that happened that really rocked me to my core was I 10 years into my business of just being frantic and crazy, stressed all the time. A client called in the morning, she was upset, and I would just get so frantic about clients complaining, they got in my car, raced over to a friend’s house, backed into a driveway to drop my daughter off, and I sideswiped her husband’s car or her his truck with my car. And come to find out later, when I came to pick up my daughter, that her husband was under the truck working on it while I hit it, and he thought it was gonna land on him. And that just rocked me to my core, I thought, This is ridiculous. Like, this is no life, you know, running around like a crazy person all the time. And so then I dove, you know, into self development, got involved with a seminar company did all their seminar staff for them, and started to see that there was a different way to be in this world, and starting to make some changes, that we’re having an impact on my life and other people around me. And then about five years later, I

found myself in the middle of a divorce. And for whatever reason, it just leveled me, I was in a dark place. And I thought, you know, I’d spent 10s of 1000s of dollars on seminars, reading all the books, you know, trying to do this other life, but I didn’t really have any legit strategies to doing life differently. So then a series of things happened. I picked up the book, maybe you’ve heard of it, the Course in Miracles, and was about a month and two reading. It’s a daily passage for about a year 365 passages. And nothing I was kinda like, this is interesting, but not really rocking my world. Then all of a sudden, month two, this crazy thing happened where the word started, like popping off the page. It was like the path is joy. The answer is joy, joy, joy, joy. And I was like, finally after a couple weeks of that, I was like literally threw my hands up in the air. I was like, I got the answer. How do I get there? And a series of things happened. I got an email from a gentleman I met. He was teaching a seminar in a wahoo and I thought I’ll fly over for that. I have no idea what it is doesn’t matter just need something positive. And I went and it was a day long seminar on a visualization process that he teaches. And I was so excited by it. I came home and I started using it immediately called my broker who had had my business for sale for like nine months with no bites. And I was like look, I just want to let you know my business is going to sell by the end of the month and there’s going to be a bidding war. And it was like, okay, and long behold a week later That’s exactly what happened. And then I went back and trained this gentleman that I had gone to that seminar, he was having a seminar, to train people to teach his main seminar. And I went and trained for a week I came home, put on my first seminar, and I stood in front of this group of people, and I ditched my notes, five minutes in, because I had this crazy experience where like, everything that I had ever learned, all of my life experience, everything I had ever read, just came together, like at one moment, I went, Whoa, like, this is what I’m supposed to do. Like, I’m supposed to teach people how to find their joy, cultivated daily, and live the life that they’re meant to be living now, without waiting for all the things or the, you know, whatever they think they need to have in order to have that, like, that’s available now. And I happen to also during that few week period, meet the love of my life in these very random circumstances, which I don’t believe in random anymore. And, and so it just all lined up. And that’s what I’ve been doing for the last almost four years.

Brandon Handley 11:11
That’s awesome. I mean, and it’s interesting, right, that you came, you kind of came out of a, from what I gathered was more of a business oriented kind of thing versus this pursuit of joy, right, are you that you’re doing now? And I think that I heard you say, on another podcast that, you know, maybe some of this is Woo, but if it is, woo, it’s working out for you. And and you’re okay with it, right?

Erin Mac 11:39
I mean, that’s the thing, you know, people always say, Oh, that’s kind of woowoo. For me, I’m like, I’m looking at woowoo people, they look pretty happy as all I can say. Something too, and

Brandon Handley 11:50
it’s pretty amazing. The idea to have, you know, just try some of these things out for the first time. Very go into a very skeptical, right, this vision process that you’re doing that you’re thinking about, while it seems pretty cool. But then you you go and you try it. And then things start working out. Right. I mean, talk to me a little bit about that. So how did that have that come? And like kind of manifest itself? What was some of your initial reactions when you saw, were even calling it the universe? And what were you calling it? Well, like, what was your know, kind of how, how was that for you?

Erin Mac 12:30
You know, it’s kind of crazy, because you know, how it’s like life. I mean, again, it’s like life unfolds slowly. And you don’t recognize exactly what’s going on. So you look back and go, Whoa, like, look at all these things that happened. That’s crazy. It took me a while to even recognize how much I knew that I was feeling better that I knew. And honestly, you know, I just, I thought I knew what joy was, I thought I knew what happiness was. The thing was, is I was on this, like, roller coaster ride of things, right? It was just like I was so 100% bought into the idea that if I had all the things, you know, a stack of cash, and the house and the car and the successful business, and all the things that we’re told is gonna make us be happy. I had all those things, and I was so miserable, right? But I didn’t even know that it was possible to experience joy. Do you know what I mean? Like I really just didn’t even know what was available.

Brandon Handley 13:39
So I think it’s really interesting that you bring it up, right? I think there’s this, you know, Tale of Two Cities type of thing, where you went, and you got all these things, and you did all the things because this is what we’re taught. But that’s been my experience is like, hey, go through all these things. Because this is what you’re taught. Right? And you’re not doing it maybe with the same intent that some of these other people are doing it right, you’re doing it to a mass and acquire and to be happy and to have status versus what you’re doing now, which is to implement, purpose, intent, and service, right, and the outcome that you’re headed towards now. Right? If you haven’t, I’m sure you’ve already achieved. I mean, listen, if you landed in Hawaii has some clients on the first day and you know, whatever, you know, a mask pretty quick like that, you know, whatever it is that you’re doing right now, I’m assuming is successful, in one way or another, right? And but now it’s aligned to who you are with your purpose and there’s fulfillment and joy in that and the rest of it just kind of comes naturally, right? It comes as a byproduct of that intent and that purpose versus if you could compare To the way that you are running life before, right? You were miserable. You were like, anxious and you know, knocking people’s trucks over on him. Right? And now I’d like you’re doing maybe the same work, I don’t know. But what’s the effort feel like, compared to what you’re the effort felt like before.

Erin Mac 15:21
I mean, you’re, you hit it right on the head, like I am 100% in service of people and myself. And while that may sound selfish, it’s, it’s, it’s kind of where you got to be when you’re in service to people in this way, you know, and it’s a whole different experience, you know, before it just felt like I was grinding, grinding, grinding all the time, you know, like, it took all these things in order to make success, like I really, you know, there are these ideas that we have from a young age, you know, success looks like this formula. It’s right. It’s like, it’s like, hard work plus luck, right, you know, like this, you know, formula of success. And I was 100% bought into that, too. And now, it’s not like that, it’s like, it doesn’t seem like work. It’s not a four letter word anymore. For me, it’s 100%. Like, like, when I give to clients, I give to myself, like, it’s such a win win. Whereas I definitely didn’t function that way in my life before 100%. And now it’s like, you know, while I still have to negotiate, you know, time, you know, balance the things out in my life, this never feels like something I’ve have to do. Like, I’m excited to do it all the time. I feel called to share what I know, because it’s had such a profound impact on my life.

Brandon Handley 16:51
I think it’s interesting to how, you know, on your first seminar, you kind of tossed off to the side and everything you ever knew, kind of fell into this framework. Right, and you were able to just let it freely flow. Right? I mean, what, what looking back, what would you say happened there?

Erin Mac 17:15
Oh, I, I was, you know, I think we’re guided all the time. I think we have support all the time, from all the things, you know, universe, energy in general, you know, I mean, scientifically speaking, energy cannot be destroyed. So every person who’s lived, their energy is here to you know, and, you know, that’s why people talk to loved ones that have passed, and, you know, like, they still the energy is still hear it’s exist, so why not tap into those things? I think, you know, it happens to me all the time. And I’m not gonna lie, it was freaky. You know, because it’s, you know, for somebody who’s like a recovered control freak, you know, a bunch of people and all of a sudden, just free flowing. And not to say it was just random all over the place is still stuck to, you know, we had a workbook and things but, you know, to go off the notes, I still do that. And I just, and I, and I recognize, I mean, even sometimes when I’m on podcasts, like, I’ll just, I’ll wake up in the middle of it and go, Oh, like I, you know, I wouldn’t say it’s me, I want to say channeling, but it’s like, it’s taking energy that exists. Like what I’m telling what I tell people and how I’m in service to people and the information that I share with people. Like it’s not new to me, like I didn’t make this stuff. Right. Right. Right. This is a real learning. Right, right. And when I’m teaching, I see it in the students, it’s like, they can hear me on a deep level, even if they’re not consciously aware of what I’m saying. They’re feeling on a deep level. And that’s coming from not me, you know, I mean, I hear it and I can disseminate that information, distill it down. But it’s, it’s exists, we’re all connected to it one way or another.

Brandon Handley 19:06
No, 100%, right. Truth resonates. And that’s the kind of that that’s the experience and you’re talking to somebody else. And you’re in a room with with these people and and you’re having a truth session on the value column, right? It’s your truth, this is kind of coming through you. And you’re like, I don’t even know, I didn’t even know I could do that. Right? But then, but then the rest of the room is resonating with you. And to me, that’s kind of what it sounds like as happening. And you know, call it channeling. It’s funny too, because, like we we still have our limitations on what we’ll call it, right? Like, I don’t know that. Yeah, I don’t know, I call it channeling I don’t know, you know, whatever. But you know, what you’re doing is you’re at least letting yourself open to, to it, whatever, whatever it is, to come through and to to and through you. Right as a kind of a receiver translator as it were.

Erin Mac 19:59
That’s it. receiver for sure, yeah, yeah. And yeah, and I think we’re all we all have that ability.

Brandon Handley 20:07
I mean, it’s an eight, right. And so, I mean, I don’t know how old your kids are, you know, I’ve got my, my nine year old. And it’s so and and my older child to 11. But you know, it’s so obvious just how like innately in tuned. The children are, right as as as it is and, and then you can kind of watch it literally be kind of like almost a brainwash, but brainwashed out of them, right, like, you know, just kind of have those senses gold and like, you know, go through like this other thing, and you just kind of watch it, you’re like, wow, that’s crazy. Because we go through this relearning experience later in life. Are you an Alan Watts fan? I don’t know who that is. Oh, my gosh, come on now. All right. Alan Watts. Yeah, Alan Watts. You know, he’s a kind of philosopher made. Popular lies, Zen Buddhism. And in the West, West, it’s like in the 60s 70s, right? English guy, you really enjoy him. One of the things that he talks about those, it’s like, it’s like, we’re like salted beef, right? We get all salted and you got it. You got to desalinate that beef. And then you’re like, you’re back to your natural state at a certain point. And that’s, again, sounds to me. I like the way you’re the way you’re going. Right? You’re feeling into it. The what was the cure? I mean, because you had the homeopathic guy, right comes and gives you the cure. What was it? Do you recall? Was it like, a miracle pill? You know, help me out here.

Erin Mac 21:51
Now Now what? homeopathy is so interesting. It’s so distilled down the amount of whatever the substances may come in. Have you ever taken it before? That’s like little tinctures, tablet. They’re little pills. Yeah, no, tiny, tiny little granules. And, and they taste like sugar. And they have just, I mean, it’s almost like they have essence of the thing. And it really is for the purpose of sort of writing your own self, right? So you introduce it to the body, and the body goes, Oh, that’s right. We use a function fairly normally, in this stage. Here’s the thing that I need. And interestingly enough, when she gave me the remedy, she told me what it was called. And she said, I don’t want you to research it. And this is pre internet. It’s not pre internet, but it was definitely internet was not a thing. Really. This was like 99, there was no Google. Yeah, it was not, there was no verb called Google it. And so, you know, she was just like, I don’t want you to research this. And, you know, just see what happens or whatever. And, you know, and I, I mean, I almost don’t want to say what it is because I don’t want people with anxiety to think that that’s the cure all it’s not the cure all, it was just the thing that made me feel better enough to get on the path to recognizing that the work is internal, emotional, spiritual, and then the body follows.

Brandon Handley 23:29
It’s so interesting, though, right? Because we, we’ve, we believe the other way around, right? Because we see the things that everybody’s doing, but we can’t see the inner work, we can’t see how they’re thinking, functioning, or directing themselves internally to get to that point. So we’re like, Alright, well, I’m just gonna go do all those same things. Right? And it doesn’t it doesn’t work out, right? Because we’re not we’re not aligning all three of those pieces of ourselves together. We’re just like, we’re hammering on one at a time. Right?

Erin Mac 24:02
Yeah, I mean, I think you know, you see people they have you know, I work with a lot of people who have cancer and other diseases because that’s mental emotional, spiritual two, I believe were three equal parts you know, mind body spirit. And if any of those are out of alignment or out of balance, it’s going to show up in the other ones right and in a negative way or and that not wanted way. And often we can, you know, we can skip past mental and spiritual right we can we have all kinds of ways to not feel and acknowledge and, you know, the obvious ones are drugs and alcohol, the less obvious ones are things like being super busy, not ever having any stillness in our life, you know, being helicopter parents, you know, the SWAMI we spend all day every day Trying not to feel any. And, you know, and so you can imagine, and we’ve done it from a young age, like, it’s not really our fault. It’s, you know, we’ve grown up to this idea that we’re not supposed to have emotions, we’re not supposed to feel those things, only very controlled and in very specific ways, depending on the environment, you know, like, can’t cry in a business meeting, you know, you know, are you crying out to lose it? No crying in baseball.

Brandon Handley 25:32
I know, my first, my first go around, like in the podcast room and coaching space was fatherhood. And a big point of what you’re saying there’s is especially as Western civilization, men, emotions, come on now. You know, yeah. That’s it. I mean, and that’s a brilliant question too. Because we don’t know, we don’t know, one of the one of the tools that I use, often is the blue check wheel, right? Just just has the emotions kind of listed out, I hand it to my clients, I’m like, you know, go through it. You know, take a look at this every day, if you don’t know what this one means. Or if you if you think that you do, go double check the definition of that and just see kind of how you’re applying it in your life and how you can use it to, you know, acknowledge your situation, because we don’t we, I suppose I was like, 40, or something I didn’t know, I didn’t know. I was, I guess, like, you know what, because I had a, I had a coaching friend, he goes, because Brandon, I’m not hearing anything emotional, or there’s nothing emotional. I was like, Oh, let me go check that out. I was like, Well, I

Erin Mac 26:32
mean, unfortunately, our society, especially for a man, like you really only allowed to anger is the only like, standout emotion and now, that’s just as tragic. But that’s changing slowly, as

Brandon Handley 26:45
well. You know, I like to call kind of where we are right now in whatever culture like a hippie 2.0 situation. Right? Right. We’re kind of like a hippie 2.0 situation where like, okay, like, maybe if we don’t deal with all the drugs, it’ll work out better this time, right, like, cut it out on like, the illegal substances. And, you know, we can still get to this place, mentally and spiritually, right. And, and, and since we’re seeing that, there’s, there’s the actual benefits are being seen and heard, and, and I think that the pandemic had such a huge influence, because nobody was spared. Right? If anything good came out of level, it’s like, it’s like, level set everything. So, so for the, you know, for the CEO, or business leader that could normally like hop on a plane and do everything that like, his employees couldn’t, he was stuck at home to with the kids having to deal with the zoom meetings. He wasn’t getting a you know, he wasn’t getting a free ride out of it. Right. And so his mental, her mental health was impacted as well. And they’re like, Oh, shit, everybody’s gone through this, we’d better do something. Right. So we see, right? I mean, so I think there’s some benefit out of this whole COVID situation to huge, right, right, the right mental health space of people, spaces, places and things. So if I am coming to you, and I am like, the client type I am is who you were before you got to this choice spot, right? Um, you know, I’ve got success, not like, you know, I’m not Whoo, kind of guy, my calendars, you know, tight and all this stuff. What are you what are some of the first things that we’re gonna do together?

Erin Mac 28:39
First, we’re going to acknowledge and begin to make some separation between the story that’s been running your life, you know, the story of all the rainbows and sunshine, a story of all the, you know, the yucky, the fit, the unfair, the unjust, the abuse, trauma, all those things, not for the purpose of wallowing in and you know, it just to acknowledge where we started, and maybe what’s affecting some of the ways that we see this world, how we perceive people and circumstances, and then take that story and recognize it for what it is the gift that it has been, and will continue to be in terms of showing us where healing and growth can take place. And you know less about all the things all the details in terms of, you know, who and what happened and all of those things. It’s really more about what did you decide about you because of that story. Those are the beliefs and then when we recognize some of those beliefs, then we can understand that, you know, that’s been playing out in the background, that’s the wallpaper so to speak of our lives, you know, where we make decisions from and a lot of the decisions are fantastic. We need not mess with those, but the ones that aren’t serving the future that we want to create. Those are the ones we want to take a closer look at. And so then, from there, I have people do a day, I have them write out a narrative of the day in the life of everything they ever wanted to create in our life, you know, all outcome based, you know, all you know, all the fields, you know, touch, taste, see, smell the whole deal. So exciting, you know, ever, like literally for a moment, wake up until moment go to sleep one day with everything in it, all the people, all the circumstances, all the outcomes. And then they use that in a visualization. And they start their day, because that’s where I found my joy was in that visualization. Understanding a day in the life now, is it about manifesting? Not exactly. It’s really about elevating the emotional experience, because you have that at your disposal at all times. And so we learn that we can our body doesn’t forget things. So when I’m in my visualization in the morning, like, My arms are in the air, I’m like, super excited, like, yes, that just happened. And then yes, that happened to and I mean, tears of joy streaming down my face. I mean, it’s all the things, I’m 100%. And on every level, I’ve raised my emotional experience. And then, like I said, the body doesn’t forget. So when you have that experience, you can recall it at any time. So when you’re going throughout your day, things start to go south, you can put yourself Take a moment, close your eyes, put yourself back into that moment, refocus and move on, versus what most people do is go out, this thing’s not working out. And then there’s all these other things that aren’t working out, there’s that thing, and then there’s another thing I didn’t like, and then this other person, and then you know, and so just got to read the brain and just, it loves to do the same stuff over and over again, and act like it’s new.

Brandon Handley 32:08
Yeah, it’s not. I mean, I think the idea of the brain, right, it’s, uh, likes to be an efficient piece of machinery, right? consumes so much energy, the more efficient it can be. And so let’s just keep doing this thing, because it’s just, you know, hasn’t killed us in the past? Right? If we just keep doing this, we will die. And we may not be enjoying our lives. But you know, it, you know, hasn’t killed us before. So I enjoy I enjoy the visualization. And and I think that there’s a big piece of what you’re saying there that a lot of people when you’re doing these exercises, don’t hammer home, I think, quite enough. And that’s something I think you’re touching on is the idea of the feels. Right. So my guess is that this is kind of a writing in the present tense exercise. Right?

Erin Mac 33:00
Yeah, preferably, you know, again, outcome base, so you want to say in gratitude, right, because of high vibration, it’s, you know, I’m so grateful that, you know, all these things are happening in my life, you know, as though they’ve happened already, as they exist in the now. Right. And they will, in your visualization, they exist as already taken place, and done deal.

Brandon Handley 33:25
Right. And I think that, that the idea is that I’m just, I’m just feeling your words now. Because I heard you saying earlier today, the idea is that, you know, what wants to give us the idea that right, so if I can feel it right now, then what’s that doing for me?

Erin Mac 33:42
Yeah, that’s creating, so I can’t tell you how to get all the things. I mean, I think, you know, for me, they’ve come by being in that elevated state. And so, you know, I, what I help with is changing the experience of life, you know, and I think that’s a heck of a lot more important than amassing things, you know, if, if I could show you how to change your experience in your life to joy, right now, by doing this visualization, that seems more valuable to me than, you know, telling you how to make six figure seven figures, whatever, you know, to me, other people, you know, they have other ideas, and that’s wonderful. And, and I don’t proclaim to, you know, claim to be able to help with those things. But I know how to find joy and I know how to cultivate it so that you can have that experience. And that’s, you know, that’s the first step is to recognize that you are responsible for your experience and when you know this, not in like fault blame shame kind of a way, in an empowering way, then you can just choose and choose and choose. Just keep choosing that thing that makes you feel good now, it doesn’t change anything, have goals, do all the other stuff, too. That’s amazing. But, you know, given that we only have this moment here, guaranteed why not make this one enjoyable? You know?

Brandon Handley 35:16
Yeah, no, agreed, agreed. And, you know, if I’m, if I’m, if I’m a law of attraction guy, if I’m, you know, in that space, right, this is how I would, you know, kind of liken it would, and I don’t know who it is, there’s plenty of them out there. That’s like, you know, the happiness doesn’t kind of come later comes now, right. And if you can be happy now, and whatever the circumstance, like you’re talking about, then you can make that choice. Again, like you’re talking about all the time. You can find joy all the time, and anything and all you’ve got to do is again, like you’re saying, If I go through the morning, and I had this visualization, I’m like, Well, I’m feeling the feels. It’s all there for me, everything’s great. Ah, and then like, you know, late in the day, I’m not so feeling the feels. And I’m like, Well, wait a second. early in the day, I was feeling the feels. And this was like that kind of anchor point. Right? Let me get back to that for a second. Because I created that moment for myself. Right, versus kind of letting something outside of me create that it was me who did that Creator of all these things, then, here I am. I’m always like, kind of high vibe. And I’m always like, buzzing, right. And then, you know, you’re basically sending that out into the universe, right? Like, just kind of this this high vibe. And, you know, if we act as if the universe is a force multiplier, right? We know that like anything, you’d come out and throw out, there’s coming back at you like, Well, I better stop, throw a monkey poo, right, like and start the things that I could really use in my life that I want in my life. And then you know, and visualize that and see it, feel it and release it right. I think that’s important, too, is kind of just like, release it and not hang on to the idea that it has to happen, right? You’re talking about the people that are like, well, this, Aaron, I tried this for three days, and it didn’t show up. My life did not change the way you said it was. And I’ve you know, I’ve been doing all the things you tell me to do. But I mean, the idea, again, is to go through those fields, have them do the visualization. And release it because again, you’re creating your own, you’re creating your own space, please in time, let’s face that, right.

Erin Mac 37:25
Yeah. And I got two things to say about that. One is I want to talk about the difference between happiness, his idea of happiness and joy, because they’re different. And I forgot what the other one is. But I’ll talk about the happiness, the joy, that one the rest will come. Right. So to me the difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is fleeting, right? It’s you get the new car, it’s amazing. Eventually, it’s just a car, right? It gets you from A to B, and this game of, you know, getting the things to make you feel good, it feels good for like this amount of time, right. And I only know that because I did all those things. I had the houses and the cars and the successful business and the time flexibility, all the things that everybody would want. And I literally kept like going over finish lines. And going, yay, hooray. I’m happy right now. And then, like, when I was doing trap all the stuff of go across the finish line, I would go home after celebrating for like five minutes. I mean, maybe like half hour or whatever, go home and find another race that I could either crush my time in that was longer hard or whatever. Like there was no end to it, like a couldn’t win that race ever. Joy, on the other hand, encompasses some of the you know, the exuberance and all of that Not always, but it can include those. But it also has these nuances of like stillness and peace of mind, which is not thinking all the time thing. Or overthinking and calm. Right. And so those nuances are available and so rich, you know, they’re either things I didn’t know existed. I had no I mean, maybe I’d heard those words before, but I didn’t really understand them on a deeper level. You know, and so, those differences are important, because the one you just can’t win out. So yeah, get all the things and be super abundant and all the ways just recognize that the journey inside is the one that has purpose and meaning the one on the outside where we collect things. Those are super cool and fun too. They just don’t. They don’t fill you up as a human

Brandon Handley 40:01
I think that I think that those are important distinctions, right? Happiness quick and fleeting, right? and joy is a little bit more kind of like a long lasting coal and Ember of warmth, right? Yeah. But a state of being. Yeah. So let me see here. Two things, two things. So I liken this, what we’re doing here is like spiritual speed dating, right? Like somebody’s gonna, somebody’s gonna tune in, they’re like, you know, I’m looking for my next spiritual date. Right? And, and this could be you. So I’m gonna ask you at least one kind of, you know, question is that, uh, you know, let me see here, whoa, yeah. Why are so many people depressed?

Erin Mac 40:47
Okay, so call it depression, call it anxiety, call it whatever you want any low level experience, which is anything that doesn’t feel good stress, overwhelm, worry, all those lovely words, they’re the same thing. They are the experience of the human wanting to control people and circumstances to fit in how they want them to show up, or they don’t feel good. And the unconscious recognition at the same time that it is impossible to control people and circumstances and events to fit into your agenda. And so you can see where that those two things butting up against each other would create some confusion. And so that confusion looks like anxiety, depression, you know, all the it’s, we have this new, we’ve touched on it before the belief thing, right? So it’s foundational, we made up everybody has them. I’ve not met anybody yet, who does not have these very core ones that are things like, I don’t deserve, I’m not worthy, I’m not good enough. I’m not lovable, you know. And they’re all basically the same thing. Like, I’m not good enough. And so those are underlying all of our decisions and how we’re feeling about ourselves. And then we interact with other people. Based on those beliefs, we have decided what’s right and wrong. So that’s how people are supposed to show up for us, and how circumstances are supposed to show up for us. And so we got into this habit of we learned this piece about when this person says something or the circumstance doesn’t turn out how I want, then somehow it’s their fault, right? So if that person said something, and they’re rude, instead of that person said something triggered something in me that did not feel good. What is that? And why is that there? When we look at that with wonder and curiosity and go interesting, because I guarantee whatever is triggering, you is not triggering me. So that’s how, you know, it’s all you.

Brandon Handley 43:06
It’s true. Um, you know, if if I was spiritually looking for a date, then then I would say, Hey, what’s up? I’m good. And I agree, you know, I don’t think there’s a piece in there that I disagree with. So So thank you, I think that’s a great answer to to it, right? Everybody’s still trying to control the outcomes in some way, shape, or form. And when they’re not turning out the way they want them to. They’re not they’re not accepting it. Right? They don’t see it. And I think that the idea of approaching these triggers with wonder and curiosity versus like, kind of anger and angst is also really why is this can trigger still here. Right? So it makes sense. And I love it. So and what else I know that we talked about, you know, you’re doing the work that you’re doing now, but you’ve got a new endeavor, what are you, you know, what are you leaning into next?

Erin Mac 44:00
Oh, my gosh, I’m so excited. I’m working with couples right now. I just finished doing my pilot course, on partnership. And the reason I’m so excited about it is, well, first of all, I truly believe we are here for spiritual development, or you call self development or whatever you want to call it consciousness. And when we recognize that that’s why we’re here and that all these you know, challenges that come into our life are for the purpose of our growth, then we can, you know, grow and heal and enjoy ourselves, right? Well, what happens when you bring two people together, that understand that there’s a process to healing and growing and understand that same process in a way where, you know, in couples, it’s like, it’s easy to see how escalation can happen because it’s like, especially when I’ve just told you what’s going on. Right. So You said this thing, it made me feel bad, you know, right. So instead of, you know, we do this responsibly, so then we go, Oh, you said this thing, I feel bad. There’s nothing that you can do to make me feel better, I’m in charge of making me feel better. And then they can support you in that, right? And then instead of escalating it’s support, right? So it’s not, you made me feel this way. It’s, I feel this way, and it doesn’t feel good. And, you know, support me in that instead of like, get your beliefs and you know, the things in your life that aren’t working out and escalate, escalate, escalate, it’s like, no, this is mine, I own it, it doesn’t feel good. And then the two of you work together in that capacity. And it’s just amazing to watch couples, it’s exponential, because not only is their relationship so much better, but think of the impact that will have on their kids, the rest of their family, when they can see two fully functioning adults coming together, helping support each other in their spiritual growth. It’s phenomenal. And so that sounds awesome. That

Brandon Handley 46:15
sounds awesome. So where does, you know? What, who’s your ideal client? Like in this space? Right? So I think we got two types of ideal clients, you got the partners, ideal clients, and then you’ve got your, your, your standard practice clients, what is what are they?

Erin Mac 46:30
So ultimately, you know, being an entrepreneur for like, 21 or two years now, entrepreneurs, like me, for some reason, because I get their craziness, I understand that they are under the gun and responsible for a lot of things. And those, typically, and leaders to write just people have a lot of responsibility. That, you know, like to make all the things work out, you know, like to control all the things, those are the people that I ended up working with, because I get them, I was them. And I still have nuances of that, of course, you know, so working on me, and all that all the things. And then couples who are recognizing that, you know, especially when you’re coming together as maybe two, what do they call that the set called the two families come together to blend in? Yeah. Like, I’ve noticed quite a few couples that are interested in working with me, that have that situation, because it’s, you know, it’s already challenging being in partnership, but then you bring in the kids and just escalates all the things. And so, you know, any couple, of course, who’s having an issue, wanting to communicate in a deeper way or, you know, deepen their relationship in some way. Fantastic. And, you know, it’s super challenging when you’re bringing in, you know, other kids and into the mix and all that. Yeah, it’s

Brandon Handley 48:05
hard enough with your own, right. Yeah, for sure. So and where then, where Then should I send people to come and find you, if they’re interested?

Erin Mac 48:18
I think probably the best place to find me is on Instagram. My handle is Aaron, er, I N m A C LLC. And I post like a weekly video on some sort of strategy or something to think about. And I put like, inspirational memes and my stories. And my website URL is in the profile as well. It’s a good way to interact with me, you can DM me, you can private message me or whatever. You know, and I always whenever I’m on a podcast, I offer a free I call it step one to joy call to just get you on the path, you know, maybe I you know disseminate the, the visualization process a little bit further so that you can get started on that and your life or whatever that looks like. And if afterwards, you still want to hang out with me and learn more than great if you don’t, no strings attached. It’s just my way of being in service.

Brandon Handley 49:21
Awesome. And thanks so much for being on today. Thanks for what you do, right? You know, being able to help people make that transition from a Bumble of nerves into something, you know, a little bit more usable and functional in society. I mean, there’s the there’s a reason why that’s your calling. So thank you for being of service and doing that for everybody out there.

Erin Mac 49:47
Oh my gosh, thanks for having me. And thanks for having these platforms. It’s really important to have these conversations, giving people hope and strategies and just something to think about that’s, you know, positive I appreciate the opportunity. Thank you so much. Absolutely.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

What are you visualizing

Unknown Speaker 0:02
What’s going on?

Brandon Handley 0:03
Coming

Unknown Speaker 0:05
from

Brandon Handley 0:06
a little bit of Brazilian jujitsu this morning? Had a Heather Come on, though for a second. As I pull myself together here, as as I walked out the door, and one of my favorite sounds of all time is kind of going on. It’s, uh, I don’t know why. Yeah, we all we all try to have like those memories, those childhood memories working with the inner child. But maybe I do have an answer for you Just give me a second here is one of my favorite sounds is rain falling. And not just rainfall, but rainfall. While driving every morning, nearly every morning, when I wake up, I’ll take a little bit of time to do my morning ritual as it were. And that first piece of that is to put on some type of auditory and then visualize. And one of the noises I’ve put on most often is the sound of rain falling in a car. It’s funny because I went through a number of different rainfalls such as rain while walking, rain, thunderstorms, Irish rain, or the new noise really enjoys the sound kind of a babbling brook. And sometimes I’ll throw in some white noise as it’s kind of brain entrainment thing to just kind of stimulate my mind and make me think that I’m somewhere else. And so like I said, right now it’s raining a little bit not sure if you can hear it’s not raining too hard. It’s raining a little bit. And noises that I get to hear in the visualization is cars going once a while something fishy going on. I imagined that it could be any type of truck. But it sounds to me like it’s a trash truck early in the morning, picking up trash every once in a while. And it’s just it just helps me to set a mood, a space and a place where I’m driving. Right? And I’ll always be where am I driving to? Where Where am I coming from? What is going on? while I’m driving? It’s been shown really, you know, in, in spirituality, and in peak performance in a number of different spaces and places that if you are looking to achieve something, if you’ve got a goal, if you’ve got anything that you’re trying to accomplish is to have a good visual of that and not necessarily. Not necessarily. Even the how you got there. The good visual is how’s it gonna feel when it’s completed? What happens as soon as as soon as you have completed the thing? Or was the reaction? For some reason right now I’m thinking of gymnastics. You know, I’ve never been in generalists. But I’ve got to imagine that if you’re trying to visualize your routine and winning that routine. You don’t necessarily just walk through the motions. You imagine that the best routine comes with you sticking the landing. When they finish up, there’s this big flourish and you can tell that they just hands go up, flare out, and they stuck the landing. That means that the whole routine has gone so well. And they’re done. So imagine you trying to accomplish whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish. What is it going to feel like where are you going to be? What’s it gonna sound like? how’s it gonna feel

when you stick your landing and for me, it’s hopping in the car so I can headed home and I get to tell Somebody’s walking away. And I’m excited because maybe it was a fantastic presentation, maybe it was a great group session, maybe, you know, maybe I just closed a big deal to do whatever, you know. And so I imagine I imagined myself in the car, fresh rain falling and and the windshield wipers going back and forth. And I’ve got this moment where I can kind of rebel and, and how well everything is going. And it doesn’t even have to be a situation where it’s just mentioned, it’s feel like you’ve had a good day of work could be on my way to a good day of work. It’s been a great morning. And it’s just that moment where it’s raining. It’s kind of like, music, Gods keyboard or something. I don’t know what you would call it. But that’s, that’s my noise. So for you. What was it look like for you? When you stick your landing? What’s it sound like for you? stick the landing up just as I just left, the Brazilian jujitsu wondering instructors was asking this question is would you if you’re not familiar with Jiu Jitsu, the general objective, if you’re on the offensive is to submit somebody put up put somebody into submission that meaning that they are no longer struggling to fight against you. And if you’re on the defensive, and a jujitsu match, the objective is to not get submitted. And yes, because which which, which would you prefer? And your jujitsu match what you prefer to do the submission, or not get submitted? And, you know, I didn’t know really what the, for me the right answer is get the submission. Because you’re ideally just trying to end the fight. And, and in jujitsu, it’s also defensive art. So, you know, I thought there was, to me, that would have been the right answer. And I guess it was kind of a trick question. For me, and generally, I, I go for not getting submitted, you know, I go for, I go for protecting myself, I go for, if I see an opening to submit while I’m protecting myself, go for it. However, I tend to work on my defense. And not surprisingly, my defenses, it’s the best part of my game. So if I can make it through jujitsu match. Without getting submitted,

Unknown Speaker 8:07
then I feel pretty good.

Brandon Handley 8:08
I really do. I feel pretty confident. And I feel good about what’s just happened. Because generally, the person that I’m going up against is stronger, faster and younger than me. And so I feel pretty good about it overall. Now, if I get a submission, that’s fantastic. That’s, you know, it’s like the cherry, cherry on top. However, again, what’s so my visualization going into that is stay alive? Don’t get choked out, don’t get tapped out and defend well, and so similar to a person in

Unknown Speaker 8:50
gymnastics

Brandon Handley 8:52
sticking the landing so what is your sticking the landing with? Like, what’s your day going to look like? You can apply this in so many different places was what’s it going to need for you to feel like you’ve accomplished what you set out to accomplish? What’s that going to look like? What’s that going to feel like? And you know how Where else? There’s just so many different places for you to apply this I felt like I would share this though with you in the visualization aspect of it. Like I said, it was raining when I came out What have you got to do to so to displace your default settings to displace your regular way of thinking. And for me, it’s to put on those noises. What is this called? It’s just it’s an app called mind noises that I eventually purchased because it just had so many great noises and you can mix and match them put on single noise and you can put on Like I said, I can put on falling rain with you know, solfeggio tones going back report that are supposed to resonate with certain emotions and other things. And eventually, you know how it is if people tell you that that’s what they do, then yeah, that’s what they do. And you visualize that happening. And that takes you transport you transports me anyways, to a different place. So that I am able to works almost like an anchor, right, I’m able to as soon as I kind of hear those noises as soon as I initiate that practice, I am transported into another space area, place so and visualize sticking the landing. So I hope that’s helpful for you just thought that that was brought on a little bit by this morning is presenting Jiu Jitsu, as well as, you know, the visualization practice and something that you might be able to do. So that and the final piece, sorry, is that look, if you can see yourself doing it, that’s definitely possible. Right? If you can see yourself doing it, chances are it’s possible. And at least at the very least, if you see yourself doing it, you will take the steps to do it. Versus Of course, if you can’t see yourself doing Why would you Why would you even be wouldn’t, wouldn’t bother. So, again, good morning, good day. I hope that this is helpful for you. And that you can apply this somewhere and reach out to me let me know if this has been helpful. Brandon at spiritual dope.co or head on over to iTunes, leave a rating review and say something like man, spiritual doofus shit. It’s when I got my head and today I’m going to visualize

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Jeremy Todd shares all!

Always great to be able to chat with my good friend Jeremy Todd! Check out his new book “The Positive Side” as well as his latest FREE program to get you unstuck over at http://besthalfyear.com/

Brandon Handley 0:00
321 Hey there spiritual dope. I am on here today with my man, my man. Mr. The pauses. Mister, check out my book, Jeremy Todd Jeremy Todd is a motivational speaker. He is an influencer. He is a legend. Not only in his own mind, but in mine as well. I’m so excited to have Jeremy here. If you’ve been if you’ve been a longtime listener to me a and he followed me through three podcasting, another Jeremy’s kind of a regular, but you you’ll know that Jeremy was catching me I got to see like you were like the first. Right. The first and it’s funny. We look all the way back to 2017, where neither one of us knew what the hell to do. And here we are like earlier just before this podcast got started. Well, I got upgraded Mike bargraph equipment. Yeah. Right. But super excited to have you on. But I always like to start this off with. And I think you’ve been on one of these already. But I’ll ask again, you know, source speaks through us. Right. And there’s a message that can only be delivered through you. Today, right now to to a to somebody listening to this podcast, what is that message?

Jeremy Todd 1:22
Well, you know, I mean that several ways I go with this, but what you know why you were talking? It just really made me think about you know, when you say four years ago, when we first we first met, and there was so much insert uncertainty with my life here live, what we’re going to do, why are we doing this? Where’s that going? The biggest message for me, and it’s really coming through right now. And when we’re having this conversation is that, you know, we just never really gave up, we just kind of kept going and there wasn’t like, it was almost like we’re pulled through to time to basically this point. And I don’t know how to really put it in quantified in the words, but it’s almost like taking your hands off the steering wheel and allowing things that just happen to watch your life. And good things happen. You know, it’s like a, you know, a bad crypto reference. But I’m watching cryptocurrency recently in this going way, way up, it’s gone way, way down. But consistently, it’s going up. And that’s really how I felt my life is it’s been for the last three or four years, you haven’t the, you know, splitting up with my with the mother of my children having that move in a couple different times. So you can get these big downs, but also you got the big ups. But if I look back now, where I am today versus where I was four years ago, it’s a lot higher, it’s a lot. It’s a it’s a better place, even though I had these major drops in my life. It’s just weird how that goes. And you know, I talk about this all the time, and even on my show about really just just getting through it. It’s not about hey, I need to figure this out right now, I need to figure out what I’m gonna do the rest of my life right now I need to get through this shitty time right now. And I really don’t really have to get through anything right now. It’s just you’re meant to be in that point. Why? Who puts you there? I don’t know. But it’s part of the life that’s part of the journey. It is sometimes it’s good to be in those in those bad low points because it builds you up and makes you stronger, makes you harder and makes you you know, all around a better person learning from the tough experiences. But man, I get I guess I just you know, going on that random tangent right there. But I just I don’t know, if I’ve ever been happier in my entire life than I am right now. I feel more blessed than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. And maybe it’s because of, you know, some of the things that that have happened in my life recently, you know, but with writing the book, and I appreciate you mentioned that and getting some of the things off my chest with that book. It’s very, very freeing. And it’s, it’s also it’s been happening with actually who I truly am individually, like, like, this is who this is my weird quirkiness. This is who I am. In all these things. They’ve taken time and they’ve taken time, and they’ve got to this point, and who knows what’s gonna happen in the next three or four years from now, but I feel like I’m being pulled through this situation. By I don’t know, you know, I have been the universe the way it’s supposed to be. I don’t know the answer to that part of it. But I just really like the momentum. And I like the journey and it says it’s been amazing the last three or four years. So I know that really answered your question, but that’s really what I’m thinking about.

Brandon Handley 4:22
Trying to figure out this new new get new setup, right? I’m just trying to press the right buttons. It’s awesome, right? I love the you know, you’re saying you’re kind of pulled through this kind of time and space to get to where you are today. And it really reminds me of of how mine started, right. And my kind of journey started because somebody said that exact line to me, right? I was like oh man, just, you know, the drink and sure and wanting to party and wanting to be this person that I had been for so long this identity that I assumed just kind of fell away. Yeah. Right. And he’s like he goes you know, once you kind of know fall into the space you get

Jeremy Todd 5:02
what you while you’re messing with the banging down there. But this is another thing popped in my head too when I was when you were when you mentioned that I listened to a podcast just before I got on and I’m driving around town and, and it was a Jocko willing podcast and he had Dakota, Dakota Meyer on his navy seals and he’s telling me stories and one of the things he also mentioned was, you know how lucky he is to have a support group, and not a support group to where, you know, hey, I’m you know, I’m mad, and this is bullshit and have someone say, Yeah, you’re right. or not, maybe the support groups more like, you’re wrong, Jeremy, you’re full of shit, you know, you’re not right. And I’m like, Oh, yeah, well, maybe I need I need. I have people like that in my life. Like you like a like a Donnie title like Elise Archer, and I never had these people. You know, I’ve got friends in my life for a long, long time that have been lifelong friends. But what’s helped me tremendously is having these people that I can pull from, and talk to and be 100% vulnerable and honest with them, Hey, I suck at this. This is where I need to help that this is where, you know, this is what’s going through my mind right now, can you help, let’s talk about these things. But the biggest thing about that and having those relationships is actually being not only honest with the other people that you’re talking to you about being honest with yourself and checking the ego at the door and understanding it, the only way I’m going to really truly get out of the funk or truly get better is if I’m 100% authentic and 100% vulnerable with the person having the conversation with. And I’ve been very, very blessed over the last three or four years to have those people. And that’s made a huge difference in my life, maybe more than anything, is to fall on that support group. The people from all around the country, I mean, how you said you’re in Pennsylvania, and I’m in Indiana, and Danny’s in Florida, you know, he leases and you know, she’s in Georgia. I mean, we got people all over the country now in that’s made a big impact for for me and my life. And the most important thing about it, again, is that I’ve taken action towards that I haven’t just sat there and say, Oh, woe is me. I’m like, you know what, I’m gonna call these people, I’m gonna go reach out to them, and then tell them what I’m thinking. Because we can all sit in our worries and all around our doubts and our fears. And we can stay there forever. But until we actually reach out and say, You know what, I’m tired of this shit. This is not who I am. That’s not my authentic self. I need I need help. And actually take action, get the help. That’s what’s made the biggest impact for me in my life as well. It’s just the authenticity of who I truly am. And saying that, hey, I need help. I mean, that’s one of the most powerful words in the world is when you tell somebody that, hey, I need your help, you know?

Brandon Handley 7:35
No, you’re right. It’s a, well, I want to kind of call attention to this idea that and you had them on, right, you had a PR rush on the idea of the full lifters. Right? It’s not so much of getting this group around you have people that you’re not it was I think there’s a difference between like some people that you hang out with, and some people that support you, right, like, you’ve got the you’ve got this list of people that are supportive. And the I think they’re calling you on your shit, they let you they let you kind of step in it, right? They let you you’re like, Hey, this is what I’d like to go do. Yeah, if you’re having a conversation with Elise, if you’re having a conversation with Donnie, and you’re like, Hey, this is this is, this is what I’m gonna go do. They say, you know, they might give you a gut check, they might ask you a couple questions. But in the end, they’re gonna be like, well, if you feel like that’s what you need to do to make this progress for who you are, and go for it. How can I support that? Like, what can I do to do you need introductions to somebody? Do you need? Do you need a brand bass? manager? Do you need any of that stuff? Right? Like, how can I help you? What, what is what is what do I have, that can help you to become who it is that you’re looking to become? And I think that there’s a difference between those people who are supportive, those are the people that we’re talking about, versus people that you hang out with, because there’s people that you hang out with, or just hang out with, or just hang out with. And those people like, you know, if I if I’m, if I’m sharing a couple pieces out of your book, right, like, some people that you might just hang out with would be the couple of people that like, you know, back in the day to smoke some weed. Like, they’re just like, Hey, you know what, let’s this is this is what we’re doing today. Right? And then that’s it, but those aren’t the people that are going to be the ones that elevate you.

Jeremy Todd 9:28
Yeah, you know, it’s funny, I asked a question on my podcast the other day of pretty who I was talking to, I was talking to the founder of brand builder, or Yeah, not brand builders. Doesn’t matter. No, actually, that show will be out tomorrow. But I asked him, Do you still hang out with the people you grew up with? And you know, it’s interesting when you ask successful people that like that, it’s most of the time the answer is obviously is no. You know, and I don’t hate on these people. They’re their friends and they’ve, you’ve kind of developed who I was as a child which is made me who I am today. You know, I don’t, I don’t hold any grudges, or I’m not upset with them, it’s just over life and different experiences, you become different types of people. And then you begin following you know, the the old Jim Rohn, you’re the average of the five people you hang out with, you know, you start attracting different people with similar mindsets that, you know, I can’t have conversations like you and I are gonna have, like we’ve always had, with, you know, my buddies in the old neighborhood, you know, it’s just not gonna happen, because they just they don’t see that they’re not. You know, they’re, they’re not, I don’t want to hidden let’s say in the word they’re not let me sit for a better way to phrase that they just maybe have to just keep using the word not, but they haven’t experienced some of the things that I’ve experienced to be able to open their mind and allow the universe or your actual soul to be able to communicate one on one with that, with that, that energy and that power. And that really allows you to open up and that and pause or pause. Yeah,

Brandon Handley 11:03
that’s totally right. So what allows for something like that?

Jeremy Todd 11:05
Well, you know, I think a lot of times, you know, and I don’t want to get into too hardcore random stuff, but I think it’s with diet, I think it’s food, I think it’s how you, how you meditation, it’s really focused in on your mind, and like, understanding how powerful the mind really is. And I think when you you know, if you smoke cigarettes and drink seven days a week, and you’re doing all kinds of crazy drugs, or, you know, the lists are just eating terribly, I think these things block the connection with you and your inner soul and your inner being. The more cloudiness that isn’t, that is there. It’s just like, it’s almost like I see these people that are just going through life going through the motions, and they’re not really connected to that source energy and, and to be honest, I don’t know what that source energy is, either. I don’t. It’s hard for me to grasp my small mind around that. But I can feel that the energies when I walk into a room, I can feel that energy, a positive energy or a negative energy. And I say with my, my youngest daughter Moyo, my only daughter me, I think she’s extremely clairvoyant, I think she, she can feel energies better than anyone I’ve ever met my entire life, we could walk into a buildings, just but data just don’t the energy here, I’m like, Alright, let’s go, you know, to be able to be in touch with that power that is, within all of us, is something that is number one, because a lot people don’t understand it, don’t even know that it’s there. Which is, which is, which is a problem, I think, it’s it’s a problem with society and communication and, and growing as a as a one big, you know, as the population we all grow together. And I think that’s a problem that slows the evolution and the growth of a society in general. But, you know, when I, when I go back and talk about my daughter, and she can just, she can look at somebody and say, you know, I that person, I really liked that person’s energy. And

Brandon Handley 12:50
let me ask you this, right, like, and and did you feel maybe that it’s has something to do with you fostering that in your child and not saying no, to her, her her being able to pick that energy up? Sure. So and I guess I’ll take it a step further, is that is it that we all kind of have that innate connection, right? And instead of it being fostered in us, it was kind of like shunted away like, Hey, you know, what, you know, so I guess sounds like what you’re doing, again, is you’re, you’re fostering that in your in your daughter, and you’re allowing for her to explore these these gifts and this ability to not be fearful of connecting to we’ll call it source, we’ll call it like, anything like that, like her intuition. And saying, Yeah, you know, what is that? Tell me more versus you’re just being correct.

Jeremy Todd 13:48
And that’s the biggest thing you kind of hit the nail on the head with there is I don’t, you know, it’s only my kids know, I don’t tell them that that’s hardly really ever I tell them no, and I just ask more questions. But why do you want to do that? or Why? Or in the situation, my daughter? What does that feeling like? Like, somewhat? like random questions? Is it warm? Is it cold? What color is that energy? You know, and really let allowing her to her mind to really focus in on that and knowing that she’s in a safe place that, you know, we don’t she’s she can have those conversations, like you said, Well, I think, you know, a lot of society today that gets that gets beat down. That’s not something that’s really focused on I think it’s the most important thing to focus on, by far, but I think it gets blocked through, you know, maybe it’s, I don’t know, maybe it’s bad diet, maybe it’s too much technology, maybe it’s not being connected to the earth as much as I think people should be. There’s all kinds of things there. But you know, what it boils down to, it’s just when those conversations happen, I don’t I don’t tell her No, or that’s weird, or I don’t understand. I just asked questions. Wow, that’s amazing. Tell me more. How does it make you feel? What does that look like? You know, these look these random questions, and then she’ll just and she just goes on and on and on. On on her mat, you can just see it like, it’s really, really a little bizarre because it’s not that she’s, she’s not making it up. You know, you can tell when your kids are making something up. But she is so detailed, that she just, she just knows it. And she, it’s like she’s, it’s reality for her. It might be

Brandon Handley 15:24
real for everybody. what’s what’s on? Like, like I said most most is like, and we’re saying most of society’s like, she tries to shut that down, right? Or puts a fence up around that. What has given you the ability or the wherewithal desire to foster it versus just versus what the rest of society is doing?

Jeremy Todd 15:48
It’s good question. It’s, it’s not a single thing. It’s been many things. And we’ve talked about some of those ups and downs throughout my life. And you know, I’ve questioned, you know, you know, again, me being five foot 230 pounds soaking wet. Well, like what, you know, why am I? Why am I this height? Why am I this tall when I was, you know, I talked about in the book when I was sexually molested as a kid. Why did that happen? To me, it’s not, and I truly look at it, it’s not good. It’s not bad. It’s just an experience of my life that I’ve had to learn from becoming a minimalist was huge, not being attached to, you know, to physical items, not trying to compare myself to somebody else about their bigger house or big car. And because I just don’t really care, I really deep down, I don’t care. And if I really don’t care about any of that, societal, I try and check the ego as much as I possibly can. What will if you clear all those layers away, what it really boils down to is, hi, how can I learn from you? How can I get better? How can I be a better friend, a better parent, I just want to get better. And I want and I’m genuinely interested in people, like I’m genuinely interested in learning about experiences and what their thoughts are and totally non judgmental. Like, that’s the other thing. You know, I think in the society, we’re so it’s so built up to we’re fighting against each other instead of listening to each other. And that’s shared and celebrated this, this mob mentality, if you’re not with us, you’re against us. And that’s, that’s a major problem with society. And I think it’s, but it’s not easy to get to the point where I’m at either, because I’ve had these experiences throughout my life that have really kicked my egos ass and just say, you know, whoever, you’re not the coolest guy in the block, you know, you’re not the best looking guy in the block. But you know, what, what I feel like I do have is this just just curiosity about life, and curiosity and people of how do we connect on a different level, I will never judge you. I will never, I’ll never say anything hurtful to you. And if I do, it’s unintentional. But I just want to learn and I want to get better. And I want to know what’s after life. And I know want to know, I want to learn from different religions and what they believe and take all of this stuff together and just kind of live in the information. And that’s what I always say, I don’t know, what’s what’s, you know, what’s going to happen next. I don’t know what’s life after death. I just want to live in all the information and just experience.

Brandon Handley 18:18
Let me let me jump in. Right. So I think one of the one of the one of the things I’m challenged by maybe you can help me here is, you know, here’s where we are today, right? This is, that’s where you are today because of your experiences. How you know, if you had to talk to somebody where they are right now, you know, maybe yourself, you know, four years ago or five years ago? What’s that? What’s that conversation look like? And how is that different? Right? How can you impart some wisdom to somebody where they are now along the journey what would you say

Jeremy Todd 18:50
the biggest thing and the one of the one of the most important things that I’ve really worked on is my is listening. And and I know it sounds so basic and so you know just what he had, of course you’re gonna listen but before I was always listening to the person planning my response, and not even taking in and learning from the actual conversation because I would my ego was just so like, well I already know the answer to that I already know what’s going on I want to give you my opinion and not even fully hear the question So as I’ve in the last few years I’ve just really I’ve just more sat on the sidelines and just watched and listened and listened and then ask more questions. Because if I if I if I focus on me if I focus on what you know how its explained this a little better it’s it’s I’m not trying to win in any situation I’m trying to learn from the other person and and really experienced that their life and in just listen in like manner. How did they get to this point? How do what can they teach me how to how do I get better and then I’m, I’m really this The other thing too Which is, I think it’s important to I’m blown away with people’s stories. When people think their story is not important, it’s because you haven’t found the right person that’s actually listening to what, what you have to say, I think we are so tied into what we think society wants to hear, hear us say, we just tell people, whatever they want to hear instead of who we truly are as individuals. And I think when you start asking different, like different questions to people that they’ve never been asked before, it’s it’s amazing how people just start opening up and telling you, they’re all all these goals and dreams that they have that they’ve maybe never told anybody. And they feel so much better with the conversation, I feel so much better the conversation. But it all started with really, truly being interested in the other person. And checking the ego and just listening and being fascinated with their story. Because everyone has an amazing story. We’re just told and that our stories like everyone else’s, and it’s not, it’s completely different. And I love listening to people and love hearing their stories. And the more you listen, truly listen, you learn so much faster. And I’ve learned more about listening the last in my life in the last three or four years, I probably did my entire life. Because Yeah, it’s important.

Brandon Handley 21:19
The idea of Yeah, I heard it recently. And it was Bob Proctor. So my guy, right, like, turn them off a little bit, and you jump back in again, and you listen, you know, you hear with your ears, but you listen with your heart. Right. I thought that was pretty powerful line. And then, um, you know, outside of my story, which ones had the most like impact on you over the past couple years?

Jeremy Todd 21:51
repeat that, quote, repeat the question again, like, outside of what now,

Brandon Handley 21:54
outside of my story. Which one? Which one, which one you think like, over the past four years has really motivated you or had the greatest impact on you?

Jeremy Todd 22:06
You know, there’s been a lot of stories and a lot of people that have impacted me tremendously. And you know, it’s just so fun because some people push me because I’m selfish, a little jealous. Like I, I, I see my friends like, like, and again, it’s just it’s the ego talking again. But, you know, I see guys, like, you know, like Donnie Tuttle loved on me. You know, Donnie, and I were in a coaching company together and quit cold turkey. And he’s making enemies just making great money and changing lives. And it’s huge. And in what that does for me, and I want all of us to go to the bank together. I all want us to be successful all I want all of us to change our lives. But he motivates me. He is very humbling. He’s very open. His story is pretty powerful. I don’t want to get into like some of the other stuff that he that he struggled with, but but he begin those conversations that we have off the mic and that and outside that it makes us both better. It has really, really changed my life. You know, it’s funny, this something small recently happened to me last week, and I was I applied for a TED talk here in Fort Wayne. And I got turned down. So I’m, I was I think I’m more excited that I got turned down, then I got accepted. Because it gives me this, like, you know what, a few pals. You don’t say this, like this. That’s what I needed to prove to myself, but I’m on the right path. Because that if you can’t accept me in my own hometown, to speak a TED talk, because I got a TED talk. I think it’s on my vision board. And I want to get that done. But for them to turn me down. that inspires me as well. Because it’s just it’s, it’s, it’s almost like the University in here. Jeremy, I know you wouldn’t be on on do this sets off, but you’re not quite ready yet. And like, you know what, maybe I’m not a dog. I’m gonna keep fighting. I’m gonna keep doing I’m not gonna quit. That’s, that’s, you know, those two stories are completely different. But really that that that TEDx getting turned down from that made a really big impact on me recently. Because, you know, it’s just like, it’s almost like the universe politely saying, Jeremy, you’re not good enough. Still. Like, you know what? That’s cool, man. I’m not giving up yet.

Brandon Handley 24:26
Right? I would look at it maybe a little bit differently. Right. I would look at it maybe as in shit. At least they emailed me back. They know who I am. For sure. I would look at it as kind of like evidence of things to come. Right. Like they My name is already. You don’t know that. You don’t know that in two weeks, whoever they they’ve already accepted. falls out. And then then maybe I’ll check out this positive side guy. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. And Todd. And yeah, look, Danny’s story is just so great because it’s so So real, it’s genuine, right? There’s nothing fake about how he got to where he is. And there’s no smoke and mirrors. There’s any everything done for the right reasons. I just love it. Right.

Jeremy Todd 25:14
Yeah, you know, it’s one of those guys that I call a friend, you know, a true friend. And you know, you know, you are a true friend of mine. Dan is a true friend of mine. Lisa is a true friend of mine. I mean, I’ve got it’s just beautiful as all these people are so beautifully authentic. And in it for the right reasons. Like they, you know, we’re doing this because we love what we do. And we’re changing lives not fake. We’re not doing this to get become billionaires. I mean, there’s a lot of other ways we could do that. But

Brandon Handley 25:43
a lot faster. Yeah, for sure. Initially, I was right. Like, I wasn’t in it for the right reasons in the beginning, and but that’s all part of my journey. Right. And I love it. I love it. I love I love that that’s been part of the journey. You’ve mentioned the universe, and you’ve mentioned kind of like, you know, spirit and energy, you know, and it’s been maybe a year since we kind of talked last word, what’s your stance these days? Man? What do we got? We’ve got a grand architect is what is what is fear? And how’s it working through you and for you to you these days?

Jeremy Todd 26:17
You know, it’s, it’s, it’s very interesting asset. Because I think about it, I literally think about it every day. And it’s weird like it, you know, when I was born and raised Catholic, so, you know, sometimes when I felt I found comfort when going through my 20s and early 30s, of praying at night praying to, to a God that, that, you know, the white bearded guy. And you know, as that kind of evolved, and I kind of got away from all aspects of really, of any, any sort any, any kind of like a structure and religion completely gone out of that. I go back to, like, even like, like last week, two weeks ago, I thought I caught myself, like praying again, which is really weird. But it’s not praying to the same God. It’s praying to this all knowing power of energy, whatever that is, and I still don’t know what it is. I don’t there’s something there’s got to be something there. And I don’t know if it’s I don’t know, man. I why,

Brandon Handley 27:25
why Why? Why is there got to be something there, right? I mean,

Jeremy Todd 27:28
I don’t know. Yeah, you know, you know, I had a guy on there talking about a few weeks ago, and he’s got something retreats, the whole retreats. And you know, he specializes in suicide. And I asked him and I asked him, his Is there life after death? Is there a god? And he said, unequivocally 100% Yes. And as you’d go through these different journeys of these mind altering experiences, you see that how much more is actually out there and we live you know, in this one dimension of of whatever my my quote unquote reality is, however, when you take mind altering drugs, you realize that there are so much more going on within the brain within this universe within this realm. Again, it goes back to it’s just so gigantic, like how do I even comprehend that and I you know, not to go on Tinder, but even like space and time continuance, you know, there’s, there’s theories of you know, every black hole has a million other galaxies and universes with a million other black holes in them that continues to go on forever and ever infinity. And then you know, the multi universe thing where exactly what we’re doing right now is happening on another planet. A billion trillion miles away on some random planet that’s very close to ours. But maybe it’s my podcast called the spiritual spiritual open near the positive side guy. Yeah, yeah, but there’s just there’s just all these things that I think about and I’m like, Well, is there one all mighty power being that is running all of this? The universe is from billions and billions of galaxies away?

Brandon Handley 29:02
I can’t read something outside Do you think it’s something outside of you?

Jeremy Todd 29:07
I don’t know. Maybe not. Maybe Maybe that maybe that maybe that is the maybe that is one of those but I I just when I look at how massive everything is and with the universities and space and galaxies like how can there be one all power being for everything? Is this the only unit is this the only I guess universe that we are is there’s your multi universes is there different things going I don’t I can’t grasp my I can’t grasp that concept. So I don’t and then that’s why I live in this like study of just listening to things feed trusting my gut when things are going well. I feel like there’s like that little energy that is above me of powerful me but like you said, maybe it is me itself. Maybe I am that it Eternal energy I just had, it’s just a lot to think about. And I don’t try and even claim that I know what the hell’s going on. I just, but I listened to everybody and understand that I’m not smart enough, I don’t know enough to be able to make that decision to decipher that set makes any sense at all. It’s so big to you. It’s

Brandon Handley 30:22
fair, it is big. And it is a lot. I mean, look, that’s the that’s the gist of this podcast, right? How do you? How do you kind of once you once you come in contact with that source, right, you felt that you like, and it’s like now now that you’re here, right? You know, had Krista on the podcast, and her podcast title was I’m awake. So now what? Right? I’m like, God, what a perfect podcast name. But yeah, so you’re awake. Now? What? How do you incorporate this newfound levels spirituality? Or re connected with your spirituality and your like? Because I mean, conversation earlier, you’re talking about like, you don’t need anything, you don’t need XYZ, you’re detached from the necessary, you know, all these things. Right? Well, what’s the keep you Jeremy from just, you know, rolling out and coming a monk at this point, right?

Jeremy Todd 31:17
Well, yeah. You know, I don’t know, I know what you were talking about that to what I was kind of thinking about is, you know, it’s interesting, when when I think about this, this energy or whatever, this, this higher power sources, it’s interesting, because it’s not always there all the time. So, you know, I’ll go through days where I’m just going through the motions, it’s normal day, and I’m just a normal person living through let me ask

Brandon Handley 31:39
you this, I’m gonna I’m gonna jump in. Right. Yeah. Is it? Is it that it’s not always there? Or is that you’re not always aware of it?

Jeremy Todd 31:47
I’m not always aware of it.

Brandon Handley 31:48
100%? Because I would have to say, I mean, this is this has been my experience, right? I would have to say that it’s always there. It’s, it’s kind of up to us to tune into it. Right. It’s like we’re driving around, you’re driving around. You turned into a podcast earlier. Yeah. You turned into you know, Satan, same thing. You’re like, you know, what happens if I tuned in and soars right now? What source? What source up to?

Jeremy Todd 32:08
Yeah, exactly. And that’s what’s it’s just very interesting, because, and I agree with you, the source is always there. However, it’s it’s am I tuned in Am I not tuned in and, you know, it’s, it’s like the typical person, a lot of typical, but, you know, when times are really, really good, you’re like, man, Hey, thank you source energy, this is all good. When times are really really shitty, you’re like, Oh, my God, I need your help. And then every once in a while, in the middle, it’s like, you know, I’m just gonna check in here and there. But that’s one thing I’d like to work on is just as really be, you know, just get better just can be more present, be more in tune with the with that energy and understand that it’s always there. Things are happening. It’s just, you know, hey, I’m just an average Joe just trying to get through it and working my way through this complicated mental test that I always think about. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I mean, I really want it because I just find these conversations fascinating. And that just allows you to be needed to remind yourself and think bigger and think. And just really think I mean, that’s what I really enjoy

Brandon Handley 33:08
about that. Right? Let’s talk about that for a second. Because you are having an impact, right, regardless of whether or not you feel like you’re driving it through, you know, spirituality or some other way, for the, for the purpose of this podcast, you are driving it spirituality, you know, through a spiritual sense, you know, what kind of impact or you feel like you’re having out there in the world today?

Jeremy Todd 33:30
You know, that’s, it’s a great question, because it allows it, you know, the first answer is, I don’t know, it’s just, it’s an ego, like, you know, I know, I’m making a big impact out there, you know, and you got to give yourself permission to say that you are making a big difference. And it’s okay. You know, I mean, it’s okay to say that, and I’ve worked really, really hard on that. Because, you know, you and I had a conversation about two years ago, that made a big impact on my life. And this is very similar what we’re talking about here and that question, because, you know, we talked about how I use, I use when I want to go to Chipotle, I’ve been there forever. And I always I always buy the person behind me launch. And that when I run out before they could actually get now acknowledge that, you know, bottom lunch, because I wasn’t accepting that, that time of gratitude. Like it’s okay. To have someone thank you for that. You know, and so when you ask a question like that, it just makes me go right back to that question that you asked, you asked me. So that’s made a huge impact on my life. And I’ve actually tried to share that story about 1000 times because it’s, it’s so right, man, it’s so right. So if I go back to the question in my what what kind of impact my making I’m thinking I truly make? I think I’m making a gigantic impact. And it is it’s it’s not numbers wise, you know, and I’m not trying to say I’m making a billions and billions of people changing all their lives, but the lives that I’m changing are gigantic. I had, you know, I get emails, you know, once twice a week that just say, you know, Jeremy I found your podcast, I tried to commit suicide three weeks ago, and I didn’t know what I was gonna do I, luckily, I didn’t go, I didn’t succeed at doing that. And then I stumbled across your podcast, then how it’s made such a big impact in my life in such a short amount of time. So when you talk about making an impact with that person, that that one person’s life, and I know, there’s more out there, and you know, I’ve got stories and emails, which I still save, because it makes it makes me feel good. But that one person? I mean, is that person going to have a, you know, another, it was younger person, I think, mid 20s? Maybe that

Brandon Handley 35:34
person worth it? That’s worth it. All right. So it’s all worth it, though. It’s funny, because he says, you know, you don’t feel like you’re touching maybe billions or millions. But if you think about it, right, throughout the course of at least four years now, you know, with each person that you that listens, you know, throughout the past, you know, of course of four years, how many people have they talked to and interacted with and that network kind of the year that the multiplier effect over over time? I’ll bet you by now, you know, you’ve you’ve impacted at least a billion.

Jeremy Todd 36:09
Yeah, yeah. And that’s a good point, too. Because you know, it You never know, the whole butterfly effect and how it’s affecting people down the down the road. And like, you’ve said, that young lady reached out to me, man, I mean, who’s to say she has a, you know, a beautiful family has a couple of kids after that, and then changed her life? And has these kids like, what changed the world? You know, for sure.

Brandon Handley 36:26
You just never know, the change in the world. Right? Like, I mean, yeah, no, you don’t know. So you know, if we’re, if we’re talking about somebody or something, and I got to imagine that, at a certain point, you kind of you were pulled through, like your insides, right for gut feeling to do your podcast, right? You were pulled to you know, you’re like, I gotta get on the mic. Yeah, right. Um, what do you think is part of that? What drove that?

Jeremy Todd 36:54
It was really the I mean, it was the the opportunity to make an impact. I just, I’m a firm believer that we all have this message, we all have this message in, I have been blessed with the gift of gab, to tell my stories, and be 100% authentic, to allow people that have going through the same things that have gone through the same things to say, hey, it’s okay that I went through these things. And you know, I talked about it one on one. I’m not trying to do a cheap blog, but in the book, I talk about, you know, me when I was a younger, yeah, that’s right. Getting getting molested from a friend, you know, and there are so many people that this has probably happened to that, that have lived with this. Now, when I put the book out, and I had even another family member reached out and said, this is completely different situation. But she said she went to the same exact thing. I have been blessed with the gift of gab, and I’ve been blessed with the confidence and the, I don’t know, if you want to call it arrogance than to say that I don’t, I just don’t give a shit what anybody else thinks about me. I truly don’t I truly don’t give a shit. If that’s true, and I know this ability, that God higher being, whatever you want to say, has given me this opportunity, if I don’t take advantage of it, what impact what negative impact would that it made on the world and the lives that I should have changed that never did? You know, it’s like the where’s the most successful place in the world, it’s, you know, the the cemetery because we all we die with these ideas in our in our mind and never put them out there. And I wasn’t going to allow that to happen. The podcast started out originally just you know, I knew that this message would need to get out. But over time, like everything is chatting a little bit more authentic, a little bit more real and the lives that has changed and are getting bigger and making a bigger impact. And but it’s I was given a gift and and i’m using the gift to share the message man and you know, I friends, I’m sure you have said the same thing that you’ve had people tell you what are you doing? You know, why would you do that? This is stupid doesn’t make any sense? Are you making any money? That was?

Brandon Handley 39:05
Absolutely that those are a couple of the next questions. Right. So you know that the next question really comes from you know, you’ve got these naysayers, right? You’ve got these people that are doing the Kukui crap, right? The the people that are you know, you’re you’re in there and they’re trying to pull you back down. But you move move ahead. Anyways, there has to be a little bit of fear and trepidation and that you want to talk about getting through that.

Jeremy Todd 39:33
I had a lot of fear. I was, you know, a lot of it was just anger. It was, you know, it showed me that and this was partially mostly my fault as well that people didn’t really know who I was. people’s opinion and thoughts of me was not reality of actually who I truly was as an individual because I I played to society. You know, I was like, everyone Yes, I did. You know, I had the nice cars, I had the big house, I did all the, you know, I would partying all the time with all these random people that you look back and they’re still doing it. And that’s, um, but that was never me. That was never who I truly was. So, and I, you know, I don’t want to say use the word blame, because that’s that’s saying that there’s a negative connotation to that, but it was my fault that I wasn’t really being who I actually was.

Brandon Handley 40:24
You were you. You were, was it true, then you maybe had a little bit of victim mentality?

Jeremy Todd 40:32
Yeah, for sure. I mean, you know, if you go there with with, with my height, and you know, some of the personal stuff I went through 100% Yeah. 100% and,

Brandon Handley 40:40
and just just so what is victim mentality, then? What’s that mean?

Jeremy Todd 40:44
Well, for me, it was like, it was why I’ve been screwed, because I’m the short guy. So I’m gonna overcompensate and try and try and prove to other people that I’m, I’m just as cool as you are, quote, unquote, cool as you are, even though I’m five, two, and, you know, I’ve got a, you know, a bonus shoe as well. And I’ve got all these other issues. But, you know, it was almost like I was I had to prove to others and not prove to myself that I was worthy. And that that was a cyst or something, you know, I probably still struggle they can relate to it just said that out loud. That makes a lot of sense to me. Now that I just said that out loud that I, I tried to prove to others who I was, instead of proving to myself who I actually was, you know, and I think when I accepted that, and really, man, hey, I’m, I’m 40. I’ll be 43 here a couple months. I probably haven’t accepted that. And so I was probably 3849. You know, but that’s my journey. You know, it’s that’s how long it took me. It’s not right, wrong or indifferent. But that’s how long it’s taking me to get to this point now in my life that I just, I’m happy with who I am.

Brandon Handley 41:47
I gotta wonder sometimes if that’s just not the natural evolution, you know, that’s when it’s supposed to happen. Yeah, it’s as I was listening to something the other day, and I forget exactly what it was. But like, you know, you can’t rush that kind of thing. Right? You can’t force it. Yeah. Right. And, and you can’t time it, but you can get pretty close to the time. Yeah. So then the, give me a spiritual dope, right? So give me an idea of what’s a hit of like, kind of spiritual dope for you.

Jeremy Todd 42:21
What is a hit for spiritual dope from

Brandon Handley 42:24
so you know, spiritual dope is like, you know, just when you’re feeling connected to source, right, so what’s one of your hits?

Jeremy Todd 42:30
By far, this is the one that most I love this time of year. I mean, yeah, this time of year, and reason being is when I can walk outside, and I can walk their feet barefoot in my backyard. And I can be 100% connected to what would actually connected to nothing, you know, but connected to myself, and then the planet and the birds and the bees and the flowers in the wind. And that, that, that, you know, you get euphoric. I mean, I get chills just thinking about it. Because that’s, that’s what life really is. That’s like, that’s like the basis of, of reality of life. And when you walk back into the house, or walk back, get back into the car, it’s like, you’re right back into society, and you’re like, it’s just a different world. You know, years ago, when I was in California, were the greatest things I did. And I’ll never forget this as I watched the sunset, for 30 straight days in California. And I would go out on this little bench and there was, you know, the sunset was set over this, this like little valley. And, you know, I’d always look at all the different colors and all that, and just how beautiful it was. And I would sit there meditate, or just take deep breaths in breaths out and be present in that time. That’s when you know, like, spiritual dope, that’s about the biggest hit of spiritual nobody could possibly have is because that’s, that’s when you know, things are bigger than you. And, and I just feel so much better. I feel like I just have so much more energy and so much more meaning to live. And this is why I’m here and I need to enjoy this. And so the springtime and you get to the winter of gray and everything like that. It’s terrible to the winter, and even today, we’re a couple inches of snow, which is terrible in April. But next week 70 it’ll be 70 degrees on Monday, and I take that time like what I said outside and just listen to the birds and the wind and just be at peace and it’s the best thing in the world for me.

Brandon Handley 44:23
I love it man connecting with nature,

Jeremy Todd 44:24
right? Absolutely, the most important thing I can do.

Brandon Handley 44:27
So something’s gonna happen. This didn’t happen today. But I’m gonna do a little bit of conversion on this podcast. I’m gonna shorten it a little bit. And I’m gonna turn it into a little bit more of kind of like a spiritual speed dating Jeremy like, you know, somebody who’s kind of speed dating Jeremy Todd today listening to podcast and they’re like, Am I spiritually attracted to Jeremy Todd, right. So I think I’m gonna ask you like one or two like these kind of random questions that are it’s actually 20 questions that came up and like, talking to, you know, some of the top 100 spiritual people, right can, you know, let’s take one segment of the easier ones? Um, what is wisdom? And how do we gain it?

Jeremy Todd 45:10
What is wisdom? And how do we get it? You know, I think, for me, wisdom is it’s the it’s the tough times, but it’s not the tough times. It’s how you react to the tough times. Because I, I, you know, it’s kind of like the deal failure question that I asked on my on my show as well. But wisdom has. I’ve been through so many tough times, you know, so I look back. And now when tough times happen, I reflect back on how I react in that situation. And I’m like, Well, you know, I learned so much from that situation that I’m not going to react is one of the strongest things I do is when there’s turmoil, and when there’s aggression and arguing, and I am the the calmest guy in the room. I just sit there and I’m patient. Because I’ve learned that when you when you the first reaction you have in a situation like that is usually the wrong one is coming from a place of where Wait, wait, wait, wait, the

Brandon Handley 46:02
first reaction is not the best one.

Jeremy Todd 46:04
Yeah, correct. Yeah, for me, it’s 100%. For me, it’s not. And but but that takes that’s that takes time. That takes wisdom because I’ve been down that road where I’ve made these decisions, where it’s just a snap decision. Like, man, I shouldn’t have said that. I’ve, I’ve learned how to sit back and relax. How’d you how’d you learn to cultivate that? It was really through breathing. And that’s been the biggest thing for me. And you know, when when, when you’re in that situation, you feel like time’s going by a million miles an hour, I’ve learned to just kind of sit back, take two or three deep breaths. And it just allows your brain to reset and what’s kind of wild, whatever, which I love is,

Brandon Handley 46:41
is there any kind of just, I mean, is there any kind of certain breath that that is right? Like, I mean, can you illustrate that for somebody that might be looking to figure it out, for me,

Jeremy Todd 46:49
it’s easy, it’s just through the nose, I mean, because there’s so many other pathways through the nose that it allows your brain to to absorb the oxygen a little bit different than it is to your mouth, and through your lungs. So it’s very, very slow. And then I always pause, send them out through the mouth. And then it’s a shorter breath as well through the nose. And it just allows you to gain composure. And and what’s been amazing about that, too, is that allows the other person that has been super aggressive, almost kind of pause. And then you can almost see gears start changing with other people. It’s, it’s beautiful to see. But I do that with my kids. I do that with, you know, relatives, to get an argument with, I’m just, I’m not calm, cool. Like the guy just I just don’t get upset anymore. I don’t you won’t catch me raising my voice you won’t catch me yelling at anybody. Because I just sit back, relax, take that deep breath and then ask questions.

Brandon Handley 47:46
I love it. What, um, what are you up to man? What’s next? What’s up? So, you know, where should people kind of go and connect with Jeremy Todd?

Jeremy Todd 47:54
Well, you know, I’m really focused on my YouTube channel. I’ve got 175 people there. And I put a lot of videos up there, I put all the podcasts, put the money motivation on there, that’s super important. Instagram has been great for me as well. And, you know, the biggest thing for me is I’ve signed there’s been a few people that have come on to the, to the coaching program recently. And, you know, it’s interesting, and I always tell the clients that come on, hey, this is all mindset coaching. And I know there’s all kinds of different labels for coaching and that’s something I always struggle with like, Am I a sales coach, I’m am I you know, you know, they’re all the other cliche words for coaching and then some, I think it waters it down a lot but I think as overtime that when you listen to the podcast and you know how focus I’m mind setting in gaining this knowledge that people have started reaching really reaching out to me working on one on one with me, and it’s been a salad changed my life, but to change other people’s lives as well in you know, down the future, I just decided to work with more people. That’s always fun. So you can always find me on YouTube and Instagram and you know, LinkedIn and all the other places. But I think one on one is probably the best, you know, shoot, you know, shoot me an email Jeremy at Jeremy Todd calm and you’ve got questions. Hopefully I got the answers.

Brandon Handley 49:08
And we’re new Where can I find your podcast?

Jeremy Todd 49:11
I’m everywhere. You know, iTunes, Stitcher, Pandora is but actually been great. I’ve been I’ve had five or six people in the last few weeks, reach out to me and say, I found your podcast on Pandora. So it’s just search and Jeremy, you’ll be able to find me really, really quickly. Also on on iTunes, you can find me quickly there. But also, you know, keep in mind on my Facebook page, I put all the videos up there. You’ll be up there here in about a week or so is to be great. And then on YouTube, but all the interviews on YouTube as well. So some people you know, it’s depends how you take in things that are your audio and will listen to you what are you going to actually watch it? There’s several different ways to catch the podcast as well now, but it’s going better now than it’s ever been. And I’m just excited about the future.

Brandon Handley 49:51
I think I think that’s fantastic. I think what you’re what you’re illustrating is is persistence and passion in action. Right? You know, you’ve decided to, to, to, to continue with this thing. And what I love is that you’ve continued it throughout the quote unquote bad times. Right? Yeah, the tough times. And they say that that’s kind of where the character shows up the character, the character of a man, or a person doesn’t show up in as much in the good times as it does the bad times 100%. So I appreciate that you’ve been able to maintain the podcast, continue to look for the positive elements. And from my from my perspective, positive doesn’t mean like, Hey, this is all sunshine and roses. Positive means how do we make progress from this point that we’re at today? Right. So I appreciate you leading the way I appreciate your friendship overall, all these years and not just being able to have these conversations and I’m really proud of you but for getting your book out the positive side, how I overcame bullying, bankruptcy and a bad attitude. My true identity. Brother, thanks so much for being nice. I appreciate you, brother.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Join in the conversation as we host Elyse Archer of She Sells this week on Spiritual Dope.

Connect with Elyse over at: https://elysearcher.com/

Also, Elyse, mentioned the book The Diamond Cutter, check it out below:

Brandon Handley 0:00
321 Hey there spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here. The voice of a generation as we know, Mays was self self indulge every once in a while and I’m on with a quite somebody quite special Elise Archer. And I’m just gonna, I’m gonna let her do the bio for herself in a second here. But before I do that, like Elise is the reason I do a podcast. Right? Before I met Elise, I’d never listened to a podcast, or I was like, fuck podcasts. Like, that’s not for me. And when I when I met Elise, Alicia, we’re doing your podcast with Greg and, Mark. Good. Morning. Yeah. And, you know, and then you know, we’re connecting at some of the networking events. And then I eventually hired you as my coach. And then when we got through the coach, it was for sales coaching, we got midway through the coaching. And I was like, This is more like, I’m getting life coach than sales coach. And and it’s okay, because it’s transferable, but like, as like, Well, you know, what, at least what we’ve been working on, like, it’s been the sales, but I really want to do this, like podcasts, and I was fully expecting you to be like, eyes on the prize brand and focus on what you said you were gonna focus on and you got it. And instead of doing that, instead of doing that, you’re like, well, how can I help you? Right, and you connect them with some other people. And that moment that that was like a life changing moment for me. So thank you for that. And I’m gonna let you do your own little brief intro. Like Elise, what do you all about? And share a little bit of that? And then we’ll get it going.

Elyse Archer 1:36
Oh, my gosh, I love that. Yeah, it’s it’s so cool, just to see what you’ve created in a short amount of time and to see the evolution of it as well. So yeah, thank you so much. I was just thinking before cutting on his podcast, this is so much fun for me, because I do most of the podcast interviews I do or straight business sales, personal branding. And so this is pushing my limits, because this is actually the stuff I care about, like this is, this is the real, I feel like everything I do in the sales and business world is kind of the Trojan horse to try to like, talk to people about spirituality and help them just develop and grow personally. So this is so much fun. Okay, so with that about me, I’m a new mom. So I’ve got a little boy, he’s six months old. And that’s so much fun. Yeah, yeah, it’s the best. I love it. I didn’t know how I was gonna feel elevated. I

Unknown Speaker 2:24
know.

Elyse Archer 2:26
My gosh, No, I know. And he’s kind of he’s past that, like the blob stage now. So he’s doing things which was, but especially for my husband, Jason, I think it’s more fun for him now that he can interact. And, yeah, I’m a business owner. So I do a couple different things. I’m a founding team member of a company called brandbuilders group or a personal brand, strategy firm. And then I also recently launched another brand that I’m running called T cells. And it’s a it’s basically sales, training and mentoring for women who want to break through six figures and learn to sell in a way that feels really authentic to them. And we can, you know, take this conversation wherever you want it to go. But that’s a lot of my background is coming from corporate sales and seeing, you know, sales and business strategies celebrated that, frankly, made me feel like crud when I implemented them, because they either kind of blurred the lines of integrity, or were all about Push, push, push, hustle, and I did it, I did what I was taught, and I financially, I did pretty well. But it was really, really detrimental to not just my mental health, my physical health too. And so a lot of my own journey has been about I would say, reconnecting with myself, like how I’m actually wired, how I was innately designed and learning to trust myself, trust my instincts, trust my body, trust my intuition. And, and I’m really lit up now about helping everyone do that. But specifically, I my brand really is catering to women, because I think so much of what we’re taught, just growing up is like, we, you know, our bodies look wrong, or they’re not the way they should be, or they’re for other people’s pleasure. And it’s just, it’s really disempowering. And so, I’m so passionate about helping myself reconnect with my power and then helping other women reconnect with their power as well. So that’s, that’s a little sliver of what I’m all about.

Brandon Handley 4:15
Just a tidbit.

Unknown Speaker 4:16
Yeah. Just a little bit.

Brandon Handley 4:18
I love it. I love it, you know. And again, you know, when we connected, it was just, I think it was a, it was just an interesting journey. You You and I are connection, right? And just kind of how that how that all? We’ll call it manifested. And let’s start off with the first question that so we have all day to talk. So usually like to start us off with, you talked about connecting with your power always align it with like source, right? So the idea is that source speaks through us to speak to somebody else, right, you kind of get this divine inspiration to share something with somebody else. So the deal is there’s somebody listening to this podcast today that needs you to kind of ignite them to connect them to their power through a message. And what does that message to that person today? At least?

Elyse Archer 5:08
I love that question. I mean, the biggest thing that shows up for me is to trust yourself. That’s like I said, that’s so much of what I feel inspired to share with this brand. And like I mentioned before, a lot of my journey, especially in my teens, and 20s, were, it was it was not trusting myself, and whether that was not not being proud of my body. And I struggled with an eating disorder for 17 years, or feeling like something was just off with, like a client situation or something I was being told to do at work. All the way to, you know, when we got pregnant for the first time, a couple years ago, I went into sheer panic, that I was like, I just, I felt like I was going to lose the pregnancy. And I went into sheer panic about it. Sure enough, we miscarried. And I learned in that moment, I didn’t trust my body. And it’s been so interesting, this journey of learning to I think a lot of times we have to like kind of be brought to our knees to be able to be open to whatever that that message is that we’re meant to receive, and then carry forth into the world for other people. And that was it for me. But then even talking with my mom about it, a lot of her own experience, too, was she didn’t trust her body. And I think a lot of this stuff goes back generationally. So you know that, whatever that thing is that you feel like you want to do, but you can’t do or you have this intuition to do something or you’re like that logically doesn’t make sense. If I could encourage someone to listen to it, and trust that it doesn’t have to make sense for anyone other than you and to kind of stop looking outside of yourself. Even I promise, I’ll be quiet in a second. So you can respond or ask your next question. But I think about the coach I’m working with right now like this was I just did a pretty big financial investment to work with a new coach. And I knew that it was going to trigger all of my scarcity mindset that I was part of me was still clinging on to I knew it. And sure enough, a couple of weeks in it did. And I knew in my core, my intuition this whole time that it was the right move. But logically, it would not be anything that my dad would have told me to do, it would have been anything that a lot of even business mentors, who I look up to would tell me to do and I was on a call with her a couple weeks ago, and I said, I found myself going into panic about making the wrong decision. She was like, when do you find yourself going into panic about that. And I said, usually I’m reading, it’s when I’m reading like a business book, or I’m listening to financial management training from somebody else. And she was like, stop it, cut it off for the next three weeks, no consumption of any of that stuff. And I cut it off, and I feel so at peace. So it’s not that we want to not learn and educate ourselves and challenge our thinking. But I think at the end of the day, you know, your best path for you. And you have to trust that everything that you’re doing and when you act on those instincts, it’s always unfolding for the greater good and for your greater good. So sometimes just putting those blinders on and trusting that you know, what you need to do, is the most powerful thing you can do. So that would be my message.

Brandon Handley 8:14
After keeping it short.

Unknown Speaker 8:15
I’m gonna be all day

Brandon Handley 8:20
I kid I kid I love it. I love it all like and one of the parts where you brought it to know you had to kind of come to your knees right to just kind of accept your your intuition piece for a lot of people would you consider that? You? d a fearful, dark night of the soul for you? Would you consider that a moment of a or maybe like even a dark night of the soul? Whatever, right? And then and then, you know, there’s the idea I love I love what you’re saying there with with your coach, because I bet you it’s almost like it’s almost like a deprivation for you knowing how much you consume to improve or be better or find another technique or whatever, right? Like Hmm, I have to cut all that off. Right like so you probably feel a little bit like a junkie having to withdraw from that at least look and I know this from my own experience, right? I’m like, I’m like What do you mean? Don’t Don’t do it all like right now.

Elyse Archer 9:16
So it was in that did one thing I’ll just add to that is like, she really kind of pushed me with that cuz she was I was like, but I love learning and learning is good. And I love reading. She was like, that’s your comfort zone. She said, study yourself for three weeks. Just study yourself. Whoa, this is so uncomfortable. But that’s right. That’s what we need.

Brandon Handley 9:33
Well, that’s tough, too. Right. So jumping in there and studying yourself. And what I’ll throw in there though, too, is like, so it’s very, I’m still going through this book again. Right? Like, are you ready to succeed? I can’t remember if I saw I might have sent you one too. I can’t recall if I did. I think I sent you have a kid’s book that isn’t yours. Yeah, I

Elyse Archer 9:50
don’t I’m not familiar with this book. So

Brandon Handley 9:52
this is Sreekumar Rao. This is actually by way of Elise Archer at some point. It was back in the day when we were doing the coaching There was a guy that I looked up Sreekumar Rao on like, you know, you are hardwired for happiness, right? And turned out like, you almost cried, watching his little story or whatever. And I was like, Alright, well, I gotta get his book, got his book, yada yada went through it. But one of the pieces in here it’s just really talks about there’s two pieces in here that you’re saying that resonate with me. And one is like, talking about putting all that effort in, right? Like I gotta do I gotta do I got consumed content consume content, you were finding like each time you like power, something that didn’t correlate with how you were feeling or doing it was like, it was like, striking the wrong chord. Right? Quite literally. It’s like, you’re like that is that is out of that is that’s out of tune with who I am. Oh, my God, I need to make an adjustment because this person, you wrote this book, he’s an authority. Right? He

Unknown Speaker 10:48
knows. Oh, my gosh, I

Brandon Handley 10:50
shouldn’t Holy shit. Did I do the wrong thing? Right. So that that’s one piece, right? is to not let the wrong thought in your head. Right? It’s better. It’s like better like like literally cut yourself like with a razor. He says in this book, this came from like a Swami. Right? It’s better to cut yourself like a razor than to let the wrong thought into your head. Hmm. Right. which I know sounds to me. Like, you know, that’s that’s kind of what was happening to you. Like, you know, you’re you’re on your path. But you’re like, you like this guy’s awesome. I love 98% of what he does. But this piece right here is just like a BB in my mind, right? breaking all my shit. And thank you so much. Right? And then and then the other piece is like, we’re trying to do it so fast. Right? We’re trying to we’re trying to do is we want it so bad. We’re trying to do it so fast. There’s another story in this book where he talks about the idea of, you know, if you try to do it so fast, and with so much energy, it’s actually gonna take twice as long. So it sounds like your coach sounds really similar to what your coach is saying is they stop taking all this like outside influence and jam in all this into your cranium. Study yourself, trust yourself. And that’s what you’re saying to is like, kind of trust yourself and believe in yourself and kind of tune out all the other shit.

Elyse Archer 12:01
Yeah, well, that’s so interesting what you said about if you try to like, push and force it into it so fast, it’ll take twice as long. It’s interesting. I hadn’t thought about it like that. But because it’s counterintuitive. It makes a heck of a lot of sense. Because you’re kind of going up river versus letting yourself flow and stuff, right?

Brandon Handley 12:18
Yeah. here’s, here’s how, like, I’ve visualized it more recently. And this is like, this year, right? Imagine, like, you feel like you’re literally putting all the thought energy or whatever things, right? If we’re putting all this energy into this place, right? Then nothing can get in. So if we create space for something to come in, right, if we back up for a second, and let it come to us, then it comes to us, right? Because otherwise we’re blocking it. We’re like, I’ve got to put everything into this spiritual energy, right? Like, I’ve got to put all of my, you know, essence energy into this thing. And I want it so bad. If it doesn’t, we’ve got all these things caught up with it. And instead of like, I do really want it I want it really bad, but like, I want it and kind of like, the way I like flowers and, you know, gardens and stuff where if I go and I plan it, you know, there’s that whole other thing to where, like, you know, if you plant something you don’t keep pulling it up, right? And check into the roots and be like, you plan it. Come back up. Yes, it does what it’s supposed to do. Yeah, it’ll do anyways. And those are some thoughts that are like, you know, coming on mine is I’m hearing your story, right? I’m hearing like your coaching unfold. So thanks for letting me ramble on

Elyse Archer 13:26
I love this. This is no I feel like I’m getting a good like a spiritual lesson from you. And this this is awesome

Brandon Handley 13:31
was so that was so here’s the other thing, right? Like Elise guys is I went through like my quote unquote, like a call, quote, unquote, because nobody can like point a finger and say, Hey, that was an awakening experience. But remember, if you don’t remember that time, I called you up. I

Unknown Speaker 13:43
was like, Oh, yes,

Brandon Handley 13:44
I went through some shit. I don’t know what it is. And it’s like an awakening experience. So Lisa’s been again, guys that’s, you know, just want to share our relationship with the people that are listening, right, and how this kind of all came together. You came to me as like a sales coach. But what ends up happening was all this inner work that I hadn’t done before for personal growth, and it manifested into culminated into like kind of an awakening experience. Right. And from there, we still maintained and again, that was another thing where you were like, Well tell me more about that, like, because you’re just as excited as I was for that, too. So I think that that’s says a lot about kind of who you are and what you accept in your life. So I do want to hear like, you know, how you talked about helping people find themselves spiritually through your own process. And I’d like to hear how you’re doing that. Because what happened with me might not have been intentional. And and, you know, how do you feel like you’re doing it intentionally right now?

Unknown Speaker 14:43
Oh, wow.

Elyse Archer 14:45
Yeah, gosh, I don’t so I don’t have like an intentional method to it. I think it’s more me think about that cuz I want to actually, I want to, I want to think about what the right or just what the true answer is for me there. I think I think for me, a lot of my own journey has been around overcoming a lot of feelings of unworthiness and worthlessness. And I think a lot of that is conditioned, that’s part of why a lot of the, like the clients I work with are in a business environment in a business setting. And so a lot of times they’ll come for, you know, I want to make more money, or I want to grow my personal brand and presence and just through that process, usually what comes up is, are there tactical, pragmatic things that they can do to do that? Absolutely. But also, and I think the more important thing is we dig into just limiting beliefs that are showing up for them around, you know, I want to make this amount of money, but even the word want means you don’t have it, right. So it especially the women, I work with those, those cut, you hear more than their story. And they talk about feeling unworthy or scared to show up or scared to speak up. And it doesn’t matter how good your website is, or how good your sales process is, if you have that limiting view of yourself, you’re only going to be able to operate within a box that’s like this big right? And get results that are about that big. So I really like I said, I don’t have a set processes, something I’m kind of like working on developing on right now. Because I do want to be able to take people through a more like a more intentional process. For me, it’s typically kind of intuitive with my clients. But that’s usually what I’m listening for when I hear my clients talk is, what are they actually saying about themselves. I was on a call with a potential client the other day. And the first thing she said when she got on our call was she said, Oh, you know, I’m just sitting here procrastinating, like I always do. And she’s a woman who wants to break through six figures this year in her business, and she’s a go getter. And she you can tell like she’s you know, she’s an aggressive goal getter. But the first thing I said was, whatever you describe you prescribed, right. So if you’re sitting there saying, I’m procrastinating, like I always do, you’re going to continue to procrastinate on accomplishing your goals on making your sales calls on whatever it is. So I just I think because so much of my own journey involves poor self talk poor or poor self image, I can hear it, and I can see it and other people. And then that’s what I try to pull out. Because usually we’re just we’re not even aware of it. It’s so ingrained in how we think and how we talk. And most of the people around us usually use disempowering language and thoughts. And so it’s kind of just part of our society. But once you realize, once you’re aware of it, you can’t unknow it. Right. And so I care so much now for myself about how I feel and how I speak about myself. And I try to get my clients to that same level of self awareness. Because the tactical stuff is like 5% of the actual process, the 95% of it is how you think and what you believe you deserve. So I don’t know if that answered the question. Like I said, there’s not a real thought out process. It’s super intuitive for me, but that’s, um, that’s that’s kind of how I do it

Brandon Handley 18:01
a little bit. I mean, it sounds like there is right, so the process is to kind of just identify where they are, right? You know, are they saying something that, you know, you’ve been able to get look as, I don’t think it’s any different than being a doctor, right? Kind of, when, when you first start off, you’re like, maybe I shouldn’t amputate that leg, I don’t know. But I’m gonna go ahead and I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go ahead and cut that one off, you’re doing the same thing with like somebody limiting beliefs, right? Or identifying it. And over time, over time, like you become skilled enough to be like, Oh, that’s this. That’s this. That’s this. That’s this just because of your exposure, experience. And then your own way of working with people in that space, seeing what works. A lot of these things that you’re using a lot of the tools that you’re using, I’m guessing, aren’t brand new, right? These are tools that have been around for quite some time that have had success for years and years and years. It’s just how do you how do you share those tools with these people? So what would be like one thing that you help? Like, when you identify like a limiting belief within somebody else? Right? How do you how do you identify that for somebody to get them past that? Yeah, well, I

Elyse Archer 19:07
think the first thing is just reflecting it back to them. So that’s part of where there is value in having a coach a mentor, just somebody who can hear how you talk. And and actually help help you become aware and almost be a mirror for Do you realize you just said that? Because like I said, oftentimes, our language is so it is it is so subconscious, we don’t even realize we’re saying it. So it’s like, hey, do you realize you just said that? And then oftentimes people don’t even realize it’s a problem. They’re like, well, so you know, so what? So what did I said that and I think so for some people, they’re already really into law of attraction and, and positive self talk, but for a lot of people I work with, they’re not familiar with, with what that means, and how it how it impacts them. So we talked about, you know, whatever you’re saying you’re giving a command to your subconscious to create this thing in your life. And so we start to look at what’s a new and better and different way you could say that The other thing that has been really profoundly transformational for me in my life and that I recommend for a lot of my clients is Joe dispenza his meditations like I am, I’m guessing you follow Him, and I’m such a fan of his work. But every single morning, I’m doing those meditations. And I asked my clients to do the same, and it helps you start to feel the feelings of abundance, genius. Courage, right? All those things that, that we want to embody. And so I get all my clients doing that, as long as they’re open to it, and that is pretty darn transformational as well.

Brandon Handley 20:40
Now, 100%, right, yeah, Joe dispenza is great. He’s one, there’s one that I listened not not even. Not even a meditation, but he’s got like a 10 minute piece that like I listened to all the time. It’s just, it just reminds me like not to look at like, not to look at my social media first thing in the day not to, you know, to retune yourself, right, like to retune your your whole, you know, your whole experience? Do you live life on your terms? Not according to what kind of everybody else is already doing? And that’s why I enjoy him and that. So meditation, getting them to connect with the meditations? Or where did you find that to be kind of like the game changer? a game changer for you? Hmm.

Elyse Archer 21:24
You know, it’s so I’ve been meditating off and on for probably five years, probably, well, I really longer than that, but like, actually really going for it for about five years. But I would say it’s, I kind of, I would do it for a while, and then I’d get off of it. Because it was like, you know, I’m still I still was in the mindset of i, this time would be so much better spent if I was sending emails or creating the social media posts. So I was still in that mindset. And really, I would say, it’s, it’s honestly been more in the past few months that it’s kicked in, for me how critically important it is. Where, even though I think I had done a fair amount of work on releasing anxiety, and like I mentioned, like not trusting myself and stuff. So I’d gotten to a pretty good place about 12 months ago, but I still would have almost this low grade anxiety running all the time in the background, especially on Sunday nights, looking at the week ahead of like, Oh, you know, I’ve just I’ve still got all this stuff that’s been done that I thought I was gonna try to get done this weekend, did I just piled too much on my plate, and then I would kind of beat myself up about just not being, you know, good enough. And I Gosh, if I was better, I could have gotten this done. So it was this habit in this perpetual like cycle that my body was almost addicted to the feeling and the anxiety. And some time, I think sometimes we just have a moment. And for me, I just had a moment, I was like, doing it this way, has gotten me this result. I’ve been feeling this low grade anxiety for years for most of my life. What if I didn’t have to feel that way? What if that wasn’t the reality for everybody? What if I was what if it was just a decision that I was going to feel differently. And that’s when I started really doubling down into a lot of Joe’s work, and into just studying, you know, the different energy centers of the body and how to get them in coherence. And I will say, I mean, it’s a very short time as of the recording of this interview, but for about a week now, I’ve had really consistent checks up brain heart coherence, where you just you feel like in the flow all the time, no matter what. I had that for about a week, and it’s been so transformational. Like, I’m not afraid of anything that’s coming, I’m not anxious, I’m at peace, I’m present. With the people I’m talking to. I’m excited. I’m not triggered by stuff the way I was. And it’s just it’s a totally different, I was able to get there like a little bit before and I could get there and kind of keep it for a while during my meditations. But then something would happen in life, and it would trigger me or throw me off and I’d have to like work to get back. And it’s been really darn consistent. For like I said, about seven days. And I think it’s it was just a decision of, I can have this all the time if I want. And so now i’m i’m showing up on that meditation, that was some ferocity my friend cuz he’s like, Oh, this is good, how much? How much better could it get?

Brandon Handley 24:19
You show it to meditation be like, I’m gonna take this bitch down. Yes. So so that’s great. So there’s, there’s a word that I use in tandem kind of with, with with, with what you’re talking about there. And that’s the word numinous. Right? Like where you’ve got this connection to source and it’s just effervescent. And it sounds like that’s been your week, right? Nothing can derail that, right? There’s nothing stronger than it and there’s no worry, you’ve given yourself some trust, you’ve given yourself some grace. And there’s a it’s just such a great feeling, right? Like how did happen and where’s and it’s always been available. Right, that’s the thing like to you’re like, well, all I had to do was make a decision to make this a conscious choice.

Elyse Archer 25:06
That was it. Yeah, that and it’s and it’s not like nothing has happened, like, I got a mega tax bill I wasn’t expecting because of a miscommunication with my accountant. And in the past that would have that would have thrown me, you know, and this I was like, okay, like, I, you know, I am being honest, it threw me for a couple minutes. And then I just like I’m snapping back into it, because nothing is worth sacrificing this level of vibration and awareness and feeling nothing. So we’re just going to do it and move on. Yeah,

Brandon Handley 25:37
yeah, no, absolutely. 100%. Right. So I thought I definitely talked about this in my process, too, right? To where you make the decision, right, literally, like, so I created that, you know, this thing called the divine framework, right, the first piece of the first piece of this puzzle that you just talked about, is to make the decision. Yes. Right. Like, this is it? This is I’m going for it. Right. But the one thing that, you know, you talked about, like kind of this belief system, you talked about the boxes right and and discover on uncovering kind of like the those limitations, right? Those self imposed limitations. It’s kind of like this whole mindset thing. This is just how spirituality has kind of shown itself for me, right? Like I did the I did the coaching with you awesome stuff. Great stuff went through like law of attraction, right? And I was like, well, this is this is all kind of stuff that I’m putting out there. What if I shake it back and understand that this is a benevolent universe? And that it probably wants things more for me than I actually want for me. What can you show me? Right? And how can I take who I am eternally spirit, like spiritual DNA is perfect, right? I mean, we all have, we all share the same spiritual DNA. But I went from having a human mindset with all these worldly things that we know how to use, right. And, to your point, I’ve made it this far with this human mindset with this human capability. As like, what happens if I choose divinity? What happens in right? What happens if I’m connected to source at all time? And if I accept that source is everything, right? Who, you know, what am I capable of then? Right? And so that’s just fucking blew the lid off it. I’m like, you know, and that’s, that’s that again, just another choice to make right then. And so you can take a look at spirituality and the, you know, you can call it maybe it’s Christ consciousness, I don’t know, right to decide, like, Hey, listen, this is this is Buddhist consciousness, I make this decision to do what you did, to say. I’m just gonna stay connected to this ship, because I feel real good. I don’t have to drink to get here. I don’t have to get high to get here. All I have to do is show up and decide to be here. It can’t be that easy lease.

Elyse Archer 27:56
It’s it. It is literally it is a decision. I mean, that’s it. That’s been a huge lesson for me in the past 12 months that I think we could be scared to make that whatever the decision is. Whether it’s a decision to show up differently, a decision to to move right a decision to, for me invest in this, this high level coach. One other thing that happened for me a couple months ago is I made it not I guess it was more a month ago, I made a decision to spend more money than I knew where it was going to come from to work with this particular woman. So I felt very intuitively guided to do it. And I remember going through the fear and I like I said yes to her verbally. And then I like kind of shrugged back for a week and I vacillated It was like, Oh, this is a bad idea. It’s not it’s not responsible. It’s not smart. And I reached the point. And I think you saw my video I did on Instagram about this. But I was just thinking about why am I not moving forward on this. And it was the fear of the unknown. It was the fear of making a bad decision in the unknown. And, but what it reminded me of was, when I was in my late 20s, I was in a just a, I was in a marriage that was really toxic. And I was so scared to leave because I was afraid of the judgment of being young and being divorced. And my family put a lot of money into the wedding and we were only I mean I knew before I got married to him I shouldn’t have but at this point where I reached kind of the turning point we were like 1214 months in I was so scared to do it because of the fear of judgment and what was going to be on the other side would I ever find someone who was actually a good fit for me all that stuff. And I just reached a point where I said it can’t be worse than this you know so let’s let’s pull the trigger and do it and so I I asked for the divorce and six months to the day that I did. I met Jason who’s my husband I knew within minutes that he was going to be my husband. very inconvenient by the way in North Carolina. You’ve got to be separated for a year so we were still tech Are you gonna you remembered for a year for you to get remarried.

Brandon Handley 29:58
For the for the guys out there. They listen, they’re gonna probably, they’re gonna want to know, what can somebody do in a couple minutes to make some money?

Unknown Speaker 30:07
Right? I

Elyse Archer 30:08
know, I know. Yeah, they are. He just showed up and I was like that, you know, you hear about you know it when you know it, you know it I’ve never had that experience before. But I, I knew him. I knew that I was meant to be with him. So that’s a whole nother story, because then I had to proceed to chase him and date him and all of that stuff. It was a frustrating courtship, I will say, but here we are. So

Unknown Speaker 30:29
if I had to do one, that one, I won that one. Yeah.

Elyse Archer 30:33
But if I had not left that situation that I was so scared to leave, I would not have met him. And we would not have our son jack now. And that just puts things into perspective for me. And I think everyone can relate to something in their life where they’ve been so scared to make a move, because they didn’t know what was on the other side. But think about what happened in your life is a result of what you have now that you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t stepped out in faith. And for me, that was like, this is it. Like, I don’t know what’s gonna happen on the other side of this, but I know, I can trust my intuition that’s leading me to do this. And I know something really good is gonna unfold, even if it’s not what I’m expecting. So it’s kind of that surrender, like, Alright, I’m along for the ride.

Brandon Handley 31:16
That’s it. I mean, that’s it. 100% right. You know, it’s, it’s following your intuition. And kind of, you know, trusting it. And for you, you know, that’s seems to be working fairly well. Seems like, hey, look, what I love, too, is like, you know, listen, no matter how much of this work you’ve been doing on yourself, I’ve been doing myself, anybody out there has been doing it themselves. years, right. You’re still catching yourself, like beating yourself up? Right? You’re still catching yourself. Like, you know, there are moments where everything’s not fucking perfect. And that’s okay. Like, and I think that, I think that that that can be a challenge too. Because to accept that right to to be able to say, this, this moment, right here is not ideal for me. But that’s still going to show up no matter how much work you do. And I think that that’s important for people to hear and understand. Because they put themselves in into, oh, I shouldn’t be feeling this way I shouldn’t, then they beat themselves up for feeling that way at all. Like you’re saying, like, I shouldn’t be doing this way. And, and and I should be you should I’ve done it differently. And all these other things. And I’ve had another guy that had on and I know well, you called it he has the acronym, acronym Tina, right? There is no alternative. However you did it, right. There’s no alternative to what’s already been done. Right? The only alternative mate would be like your perspective on that, like, as you move forward, you’d be like, you know what, you can look back and be like, you know, what, in my mind, at that time, this is what I thought was going on. But now if I look back, it’s a totally different scenario. your perspective on what happened may be different. But the actual event, there’s no changing it. Right? That’s your your way past it. Right. Yeah. But you know, so how would I mean, a dress that though right, especially for you know, you again, being a coach, having gone through, like all this work, and still finding, you know, yourself kind of having those challenging moments? Do you accept those for yourself? Or do you beat yourself up for having those and then, you know, how do you get through it? What do you do from there?

Elyse Archer 33:28
Yeah, yeah, that’s a good question. I, so I do accept myself for having those. And I used to beat myself up a lot over it. And I think a lot of that is just we see people, whether it’s our parents, or like, for me, I saw I like, I love my mom dearly, but I saw her do that my whole childhood growing up. So I that’s how I operated for a long time. So now with those moments, I am so conscious of how I talk to myself, because I realized if I beat myself up, I’m only perpetuating the negative emotion negative feeling, I’m just going to attract more of that back into my life. So yeah, I mean, even yesterday, I had an introduction to like, a big time, big time, big time podcast to go on. And I had been like, really psyched up.

Unknown Speaker 34:11
You know, we’ve been talking for a while.

Unknown Speaker 34:14
See, it’s always working.

Elyse Archer 34:18
So I had this. So this was like, you know, like, top 100. Like, it was a big it was a just in terms of audience a big show. And so I got myself kind of psyched up for it. And I get on the call with the woman I’d been introduced to who is kind of like the gatekeeper and she was like, Oh, I’m so sorry. If there’s a misunderstanding. You know, he’s booked up for a whole year like I just really wanted to get to know you. You seem like a cool chicken. It was like, in that moment, I felt I felt disappointment. And then I gave myself like two seconds to feel it. I was like, okay, nothing is worth feeling that nothing is worth perpetuating that. So let me instead flip this and focus on how can I show up for her in this moment because I genuinely believe everything is always working out. For me, and if this is not the thing that’s meant to be right now it means there’s something even better down the road. So cool. So let’s have fun with this. And let’s like, show up and have fun. And then who knows what will happen in the future. But I think it’s that an attachment to like things being so perfect that for myself, for a lot of people, right, I think a lot of women I work with everyone, we can get kind of caught up in perfectionism, and things have to turn out the way we thought they would. But when you can be kind of unattached and just more attached to like, feeling good and having fun and showing up in the moment. It’s, it’s a heck of a lot more enjoyable. And you end up

Brandon Handley 35:35
Yeah, listen, you could find yourself on spiritual dope, too, right?

Unknown Speaker 35:40
I love it.

Brandon Handley 35:41
But the deal is to have right like, I mean, that is, you know, the dude, you’re talking about that seven days of being connected. That is, that’s the spiritual high, right? That’s, that’s the, that’s what the spiritual dope is. That’s the hits. You know, when you got that meditation, and you’ve got that meditation buzz of man, I was just so connected, I was so aligned, I was so detached from, I don’t want to say worldly things. But I was so detached from all all the activity and things that I felt like we were talking earlier, like, oh, maybe I gotta go make another pose. Maybe I got to go do this, maybe I got I got, I’ve got 10 minutes, I can squeeze in like five posts, maybe I can I am in and check for emails, right. And instead of being like, like, your coach is saying, Go study your fucking self for a minute. Right? Like, you’re pretty special. Right? recognize that? You know, I think more recently, you know, some of the meditations that I’ll do would be like, how far can you visualize yourself out? Right? And I’d be like, oh, infinite, right? The edges of the universe? Yes. But then more recently, I was like, well, inside is just as infinite to like, how deep Can I go into myself, and it’s infinite. So it’s infinite internally as much. So like, that was there’s been like a new rocking revelation, right? Like, where you just kind of you go internally, and you just hang out with yourself. And you see that, like, you know, you are 100% connected to source at all times. And it’s like, you’re saying, it’s a choice to say, I’m connected in this moment, to the person to the lady that was on the call, or title for my own shit. And I could I could show up and be there for her, or be tied up my own shit. And again, you’re like, I’m gonna take this moment, be there for her. And be open for the intuition, the inspiration, what’s coming out of this that is meant to be like your best.

Elyse Archer 37:35
Yes. I don’t want to add something to what you said about just studying the depth of ourselves. So one of my girlfriends, her sister, passive cancer a couple years ago, and they were super close, super, super close. And I wouldn’t talk about this on most any podcasts. I’ll talk about it here because I feel like you’ll get it. So she her sister passed. And then a mutual friend of theirs, called my friend out of the blue a couple months later, and she was she was like, I don’t know, I just feel like I have to call you. And we needed to reconnect. And this, this woman also channels and connects with people on the other side. And suddenly, while they were talking, my friend’s sister Lauren started coming through her and say, like, really literally reconnecting with my friend and what Lauren was saying, was, she said, You have no idea how big we are. She said now that I’m on the other side now that I can see it. She said, imagine like zoom out look at your house. Imagine you’re looking at it from above. You see the house and then zoom out to the block and the street and then your city and then the world and then the universe. She said you’re so much bigger. She said we are so much bigger than we know. She said I can’t wait for you to see this and know this. But she was just like, it’s you should have this this one on your podcast, I can introduce you because it’s powerful. It’s so powerful. But that perspective from the other side of are so much bigger than we can even fathom. Have

Brandon Handley 38:59
you connected yourself to that yet? Um, have you had that experience for yourself?

Unknown Speaker 39:04
No. Have you I want to Oh, can can you tell me about

Brandon Handley 39:07
it? Because I mean, it’s you can’t right that’s the whole Yeah, you can’t that’s the whole like, mystery school mysticism. translate that thing now? I did do I did do one good podcast on it where I’m not sure if you’ve done breathwork yet.

Unknown Speaker 39:23
A little bit not

Brandon Handley 39:24
not a ton, but a little bit. It’s like it’s it’s it’s like, cracked out. Meditation. When done when done well, like when you when you nail you’ll know when you nail it because you’ll come out of it. Like, what the fuck just happened? And can I get more of that all the time? Anytime? And the answer is yes. Right. Which is also powerful because that’s just like, like I said, meditation force multiplied and add connections and scenes, that you know, in those moments, that that’s the That’s just like a knowing, right? Like, it can’t be anything other than that and and more back to what you were saying before is it doesn’t you don’t need an external validation for that type of thing. You know this as truth. Right and and so, yes, right and that’s the that’s the question all right and and you know, I had similar experience to where this actually so to Elise has meant guys just again so lease is a lease is actually responsible in part for spiritual dope as well I don’t know if I told you that or not it was the interview without What was her name last one you got me in contact with the spiritual

Unknown Speaker 40:41
Oh, Regina Yeah,

Brandon Handley 40:43
so I interviewed Regina for the prosperity practice which in its own right was fucking awesome. I did love it and actually enjoyed it. But I also realized that I was I was kind of, you know, trying to sell the people what they wanted, but then give them what they need. And finally, I was just like, you know what bucket like your friend, right? Like, a much bigger, you know, spirituality, right? our spirits are much bigger than our bodies and it’s self evident. There’s like, you know, recordings of it with just even just with your resonance, right? You talked about also like the mind, mind heart coherence, experience that often, right? And that’s through meditation, but again, like through a number of things, once you recognize how to connect that and resonate that piece, and then you’re like, oh, like, like, all the time like it just like, it’s so great. Anyway, so yeah, so I interviewed her. And I was like, Why? Why am I holding back? kind of the best part of me? The best part of like, what I believe, right? Because here was this, you know, here was this, you know, ex lawyer fucking doing it. Right? And I was like, why am I waiting? Right? For who? Who, who? And then this came all the way back from my first podcast. So anyway, so first podcast was like, who gives me the authority to do this, right? I do. You do. You give yourself the authority to be you, right? You know, to go out and do the things that you know, that you can do that you’re capable of that you’re called to do, right? And that’s what you’re doing now I get to be a witness to seeing you punch through like each layer of that shit, right. And that’s what’s been fun for me to kind of watch you too, because we’ve had I feel like kind of similar experiences in that way be like, like, this is all shit. I’m out of here. This is better, but and it’s not even leveling up. Right? It’s just finding yourself in a different space because even even to a different level of awareness to what already is. Right? It’s just and goes back to your belief system be like, how When do I get to the side? Like, there’s more? Well, there’s a whole universe that is currently yours at your disposal. How do you want to use it? Right? Do you want to use it if you if you again, if you want to use your human self have fun with that. Right? And you’ve experienced that? What do you want to do with your Divine Self? What do you want to do with your universal self? Like what other kind of mindset Can you put yourself into and there’s again, that’s unlimited to

Unknown Speaker 43:16
this is so good. Oh my god. Yes,

Brandon Handley 43:20
yes. Yes. So again, guys, it was Elise who connected me with Regina and then when I connected with Regina, my wife had a friend who was medium as well on channel with me so it was combination of my wife whose childhood friend who she connects me with my grandfather like my closest you know, kind of Anthony in my life and and doing it with Gina and like, it was like the the medium wrote like a coming out letter of like, mediumship, right, like to her family, like I’m coming out of the closet medium type thing. So I was like, I was like, You know what, fuck it I’m coming out of the closet like spirituality and we’re just we’re just gonna go do it and ever since Sinhalese blown up blown blown. I mean, just the doors been blown off the people I’ve connected with, you know, I just interviewed my man here. I released you know, and and that, that was no following intuition. There was a 215 phone number, which is a Philadelphia area phone number. I was like, You’re fucking up here. I’m calling. And I just called. I was like, I was like, I was like, Listen, I was like, I got like, you know, his pm and she was awesome. knew where she lived. We had this great conversation. I was like, I just got to let you know I love this book. I’ve gone through it like four or five times I leave groups on it, yada yada. Would he be open to being on the podcast and she goes, You know what he normally he hates them. But let me see what I can do. That’s so cool. But again, so thank you like this is kind of like a trivia tool, a lease podcast. A lot of a lot, a lot of things because it’s been a lot of fun and without your support. You know, in part, of course, like us, all other all other people that have been a part of the journey, but you’ve been a big part about it. So I thought I’d share that with you.

Elyse Archer 45:11
Thank you. Thank you. Well, any audience? Yeah. And I think to just to see kind of how you’ve, you’ve taken every step of your evolution and turn it into something that’s good for other people. And I think that’s really cool. Because I do think back to when we were first working together, and it was like, how do we sell more of these?

Brandon Handley 45:32
things? Right. But that goes back to what you were saying, like how, you know, there was like, you know, you were selling stuff, and you were doing it where like, there was like integrity issues. And it’s like, yeah, you could sell something. Yeah. Maybe you could overcome some objections. Yeah, you maybe get this person to do this thing. But like, in the end, at what cost to you? And who?

Elyse Archer 45:50
Yes, exactly, exactly. Like, what is it actually all about? Yeah.

Brandon Handley 45:55
Well, so how do you I mean, I think that leads into a really good piece. So So how do you do it now where you’ve got it all tied together, that you feel aligned with what you’re doing.

Elyse Archer 46:04
Um, I just really listened to what, what my body says about what whether it’s working with a particular client, whether it’s launching a program, and I don’t fault myself for changing my mind, either, like I launched something new with the rollout of my new brand that was actually it was based on what a shaman who I follow what he does, or just like a $10, weekly, I drop in, he goes a healing temple. And it’s so much I was like, Oh, we should have that for sales, that would be so much fun. So I did like a $10 weekly drop in sales training. And it’s been, it’s been fun, but it’s like the numbers started off really high. And then they kind of dwindled with the number of women who were coming every week. And I used to go into panic about that. And now it’s like, oh, cool, I’m being divinely guided to transform this into something else. So I’m transforming it into something slightly different a monthly membership, and women are signing up for that really fast. So it’s like, just knowing that it doesn’t have to be perfect. But if I take the, I listen to what I’m being told to do, I take the action, I’m not attached to it being that way forever. And then I just kind of keep receiving that guidance. And that’s how I’ve launched my programs. That’s how I choose which clients to work with. That’s how I chose my brand colors. Like all of it, it’s just all the

Brandon Handley 47:21
colors, by the way. Don’t go gold, white, and red, which are which are all pretty cool. Yeah, I like that too. Like you talked about, like, you know, being able to change like kind of like your your and and, you know, in the business world or be ready to pivot, pivot, pivot. But being able to pivot, right, being able to adjust on the fly is something that I think a lot of people have a challenge with, too. How do you help them to overcome that, like, be like, Oh, I made this decision to do this thing. And I was told to commit. And, man, if I, if I just stick with it, persistence, and yada, yada, yada. So how do you help somebody that’s stuck in that space?

Elyse Archer 48:01
Yeah, cash. And it’s tough to write because we hear self discipline and persistence. And there’s a lot of value. There’s a lot of value to those attributes, in a lot of ways, but I think sometimes we get, you know, you hear like sunk cost theory in business. So I’ve put so much time and energy into this. And we can hold on to something just because of that, just because we already invested a lot of money or a lot of time. And even in our core, if we know it’s no longer the right thing. So again, it comes down to intuition. And so if I’m working with the client, we kind of we look at, okay, if you were, if you were starting this today, would you do the same thing? Like if you were starting from scratch? Would you do the same thing? If the answer is yes, then it’s okay. You probably just need to keep going at it for longer. Like it’s just, it’s keep showing up, keep doing it know that just like you said, with the flower when you plant it, it’s gonna take a hot minute sometimes, and that’s okay. But if you’re being honest, and you wouldn’t do it again, the same way today, or you wouldn’t run this program today, or you wouldn’t. I mean, this is a big one, but you wouldn’t marry this person today. Right? Like, then I’m not counseling people and relationships. So take that for what it’s worth, but you kind of look at, okay, are you attached to this just because you’ve put so much time and energy into it? Or are you attached to it, because it’s actually what you’re meant to be doing. And it just needs a little more time to mature or grow or terminate.

Brandon Handley 49:23
I love that. I love being associated. Again, you know, I’m a big fan of the word grace these days. So give yourself a little grace and let you kind of, you know, let that let that life energy just go ahead and propagate the way that it’s supposed to. Right. And I love though, to that you’re saying you know, if you started today, would you still do this? Right? Because again, we we put all this energy into the sunk cost thing even like, well, the Titanic sinks, it’s sunk, right? Like I mean, fucking let it go. Right? They jump off the boat because it is sunk costs, and it hasn’t accelerated you or gotten you to where you think you should be by Now and if you were to, you know, kind of continue that trajectory, it’s down at this point, right? I love it. I love it. So, what, um, you know, let’s what is a, you know, a hit of spiritual dope for you like, you know what, you know, meditation, I mean, having, you know, maybe looking at your son, you know, what is what is something that, um, that’s just your pure hit a spiritual dope.

Elyse Archer 50:24
I mean, it’s totally hanging out with my son jack now like that’s just to see see the pureness of a little kid and to see how they just just their wholeness and their appearances, and his unfiltered laughter is so much fun. I absolutely love that. And then I think the other thing is just when I can show up and give or do something for somebody else that has nothing to do with me. And that’s actually, when I found myself a couple months ago, like going through some of that Panic of like, Oh, my God, am I doing making the wrong decision or the wrong choice? That’s part of how I would shift out of it is I would be like, What can I do for somebody else right now to get my head out of my ass and focus on what really matters. And that always, to me, that always helps. It’s that quick shift. It’s like, What can I do for someone else, whether it’s write a comment on their social media, whether it’s had a client who wants to book club, I was like, I’m gonna join my clients book club right now. And that’s gonna make him feel good when he looks in his inbox and sees that he’s got a new member. So just stuff like that. Right? It’s, it’s always kind of getting our focus off of ourselves.

Brandon Handley 51:31
I love this. I mean, it doesn’t have to be complex, right? You can go out there and kind of give of yourself and support somebody else in small meaningful ways. And you’re gonna feel better about yourself. Hmm,

Elyse Archer 51:42
yeah. Well, and it’s the whole Have you read the diamond cutter?

Unknown Speaker 51:46
No, I have not, oh, this

Unknown Speaker 51:48
will be a good one. I

Unknown Speaker 51:49
think you’ll be into this.

Elyse Archer 51:50
So the principle behind it is whatever you want for yourself, help someone else get it. So I’ve got my, my mastermind partner. She’s also going for seven figures in her business right now. So one of the things that I’ve done and I told her I was like, This is not entirely altruistic that I want to help you do this. Like, I’m really curious energetically how this works for me.

Brandon Handley 52:11
It’s interesting, though, at least, right? Like, when I started fatherhood, for the rest of us, it wasn’t for the pure reasons. Right? It really wasn’t and I can look back and I can say that right? I’m like, you know, I did this for all the wrong reasons. But I was doing the right things, even if it was for the right reasons, for all reasons. Yeah. And that kind of tilted the whatever right into into always say like, I’m like the Grinch my heart grew to sizes too large or whatever, right? Like it went from being like, you know, this thing to write. So I think that you and I think you know, are you know, when you collect new Java Roman back in the day, I remember him going into, you know, talking about that, right being like, what happens if you do the right things with like, the wrong reasons. Now, I would say and wrong reasons is really kind of hard. You can’t really say it’s for the wrong reasons. You’re really trying to do it for the benefit. Yes, of you. And of them, but like, you know, that kind of shakes off. Just Just for I mean, my experience has been that kind of shakes off like initially, it’s kind of like, I’m doing it mostly for me a little bit. You still feel okay, I’m doing it for like, you know, at least I’m not, you know, at least I’m not calling you an asshole, right? Like, you know, merger. Nobody’s a jerk. I’m doing all these things. And eventually, that it’s just kind of like rust away until like, this purity situation happens where like, that’s just becomes who you are. Right? So there’s really nothing wrong with like, trying on different clothes until you find the pair that fits.

Elyse Archer 53:38
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think it’s you always know because it’s the energy or doing something and like, how do you feel while you’re doing it? If you feel secretly like, with this, this friend of mine, who I’m helping, I’m just kinda like consulting and helping her for helping her hit seven figures in her business this year. It’s like, the energy that I feel around it when I do it. If I felt jealousy or if I felt scarcity or like, I should be spending the time on my own stuff. exactly what you’re talking about, right, like doing it for the wrong reasons. But I think it’s it’s, you can tell when you feel like whole excited, fulfilled, relaxed while you’re doing it. It’s really different.

Unknown Speaker 54:13
You are at ease. Yes,

Brandon Handley 54:15
you’re at ease and the things are easy. They’re simple. They’re fulfilling. Yeah, right. All right. Super awesome. As always to catch up with you. Unfortunately, we can’t stay on all day. So where can we send people to go find more Elise Archer,

Elyse Archer 54:33
thank you so much for having me. Elise. archer.com has all the things and then on all social media. I’m at Elise Archer. So with love, love, love to connect. I’ve got a podcast, she sells radio so people can check that out. It’s like sales with a healthy dose of spirituality.

Brandon Handley 54:49
Now, who would you say your ideal client is Elise?

Unknown Speaker 54:53
Hmm.

Elyse Archer 54:55
It’s often a younger me. And I’m not saying that in an egotistical way. It’s just I can really help them. A woman because I know

Unknown Speaker 55:00
what’s going on.

Elyse Archer 55:02
So it’s typically going to be a woman who is either a business owner or she’s in sales, she’s looking to break through her first six figures. And it’s like, something’s not quite clicked there. But she’s ready. And she’s probably a little bit turned off by a lot of what she’s being taught from either corporate sales training or from the book she’s reading and it just doesn’t quite feel right to her and she’s like, could I reach my goals in a way that actually feels really good to me and other people and I love helping that type of woman so that’s my ideal client.

Brandon Handley 55:32
awesome guys. Go

check out Lisa’s especially, you know, if you meet that description, I can promise you that, uh, you know, it’ll work out for you. Right? guarantee that, you know, to go through some of the coaching or some of the programs that Elise has offered, they will be valuable to you.

Unknown Speaker 55:48
Thank you, my friend. Thank you. This has been wonderful.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Connect with Mike today! https://mikeiamele.com/

Mike Iamele is a writer, life purpose expert, and brand strategist. With his proprietary Sacred Branding® system, he’s helped hundreds of people to connect the dots between their lived experiences to find the common threads that explain their subconscious motivations, unique genius, and life purpose. People use this work for all kinds of things — from branding and building a business, to exploring identity and sexuality, to finding their artistic voice, to even re-discovering themselves after a life-altering event, like divorce or retirement. Mike’s also the author of Enough Already: Create Success on Your Own Terms (Conari Press 2015). He’s shared his provocative and vulnerable take on life in dozens of magazines, podcasts, and online publications, including a personal interview with NPR about his viral story on rethinking sexuality in his first same-sex relationship. Prior to Sacred Branding®, at only 22 years old, Mike co-founded Torch Communications, a boutique public relations firm, specializing in healthcare and disruptive technology. He currently lives in Somerville, MA, with his husband and two adorable dogs.

Brandon Handley 0:00
4321 Hey, their spiritual dove is Brandon Handley. And I am on with Mike Iaconelli who is a writer, life purpose expert and brand strategist. With his proprietary sacred branding system, he’s helped hundreds of people to connect the dots between their lived experiences to find the common threads explained their subconscious motivations, unique genius and life purpose. People use this word for all kinds of things, from branding and building to business to exploring identity and sexuality to finding their artistic voice to even rediscovering themselves after a life altering event like divorce or retirement. Mike is also the author of enough already create success on your own terms. He shared his provocative and vulnerable take on life in dozens of magazines, podcasts and online publications, including a personal interview with NPR about his viral story on rethinking sexuality in his first first same sex relationship prior to sacred branding relationship prior Okay, sorry. Prior to sacred branding, at only 22 years old, Mike co founded torch communications, a boutique public relations firm specializing in health care and disruptive technology. I’m not gonna tell you where we live. They can find that on their own. But here’s the deal, Mike, first, first of all, just while I’m going through this, thank you so much for joining me today.

Mike Iamele 1:24
Yeah, thanks, Brandon. This is awesome. I’m glad to be here.

Brandon Handley 1:26
Awesome. So I’m reading this. It’s funny, though, because I was reading this earlier. And when I read it in his first same sex relationship, so like, I mean, multiples or, like, I mean, you What happened? There was

Mike Iamele 1:41
a great question. Let’s dive right in. Um, you know, I previously had no conscious knowledge, no interest in men. To my knowledge, I’ve only dated women. And it was a time where I actually woke up one day vomiting blood. And that didn’t stop for a few months, I was really, really sick. I was going from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what was wrong with me. And my roommate at the time was a friend of mine, we actually two roommates, but one of them was a friend of mine who was in the healthcare profession. And so he kind of became my caretaker, I couldn’t drive myself to these appointments. You know, he really took care of me. And after about two months, I felt like I felt something. It wasn’t sexual. It didn’t even feel romantic. It just felt like something was a little different. And I think if it were any other time in my life, I probably wouldn’t have acted on it. But I thought I was going to die. And so there I was kind of saying like, Well, you know, and I felt really weird. I said, Hey, I don’t know what this is. I don’t know if this is anything. But I kind of have these feelings. And he reciprocated he felt something. He didn’t know what he also had never dated a man. And that led us on a year and a half, two year journey of exploring what that is. We are married today. We’ve been together for over nine years. So yeah, yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

Brandon Handley 2:59
How cool is that? How cool is that? So that’s usually not my first question. But when I was reading through that, I’m like, what is what is in here? Right? So here’s my first question is, hey, look, you know, we’re both in the spiritual realm, we both we’re both in this space where the universe talks to us, right? We’re conduits for some type of energy, right? In these body shades, forms, minds, whatever the hell right? So given that, when we’re when we’re having a conversation, people that are tuning in listening to podcasts are tuned into something that only you can deliver, right, at this time, you know, sources delivering what message to them through you right now.

Mike Iamele 3:38
So what’s the message I’m delivering? Yeah.

Brandon Handley 3:40
What’s the what’s the message, the sources sources pulling through right now,

Mike Iamele 3:44
you know, the message is that it’s ironic because it’s exactly what you’re talking about, that every single one of us has a unique way, energy flows, unique sensitivities, unique purpose. And the thing is, I get really fired up about this, because the way we talk about purpose is toxic. And it really induces shame. And the reason for that is we talk about purpose, like it is achievable and aspirational. So we’ll say things like, Oh, my purpose is to be a life coach. My purpose is to write a book, my purpose is to get married. And that’s awesome. But here’s the thing, if you can achieve it, that means you can also fail it. And that doesn’t make sense, like how you fail your purpose. And more than that, if you can achieve it, it implies you didn’t have it at a certain point. So did we just not have a purpose as babies like that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever? Sure. And so I talk about purpose, a lot more like sensitivities. And here’s the thing even as a baby before I learned one word I was sensitive to some things. Some babies are sensitive to music, and they can probably hear notes that I can’t hear. Some babies are sensitive to certain colors. Some babies are sensitive to freedom. And if you’re sensitive to freedom, you’re probably going to feel trapped a lot more easily than I am. You’re probably going to look for opportunities to feel free all the time and you’re probably gonna create your best work when you do feel free, right know that sense? activity is going to start to color your entire experience of life. Every moment of your life, every trauma you have, every job you have, every relationship you have, is going to be either expressing or suppressing that to some degree. We’re going exactly through that sensitivity. So we’re sensitive. That’s how we experience life. We see taste, touch, smell life, there are senses, right? That’s what purpose is. Now, if I’ve got a container that can totally hold my purpose, it’s like talking to my best friend. And time just flies by and genius just feels out of me. And I’m tapped into that unique thing coming through me right through my senses. Yeah. And then we have those other conversations, were kind of like, Am I saying the right thing? Am I doing the right thing, am I and we’re on that level of technical. And then when we say if we’re on the level of technical, we have no idea what the essence is, we’re not actually tapped into essence, we’re just trying to kind of mold this awkward container. But when I know I have boiling hot tea, I’m not going to put that in plastic, I’m not going to put that in a cup with a handle, I’m going to choose the right container. The second that, you know, essence, everything starts flowing. And that’s why whether we’re talking about relationships, whether we’re talking about spirituality, trauma, healing, you’ve always no moment of your life has been wasted. You everything has a purpose. Obviously, the word purpose means why. But we have containers that can hold that purpose and containers that can’t. And my interest in life is just knowing who we are removing any shame and then finding containers that can actually hold us.

Brandon Handley 6:29
Now. I love that, right. There’s a there’s a lot in there. And I think that that’s a I think it’s a great message. One of the one of the things that I wanted to share to what you talked about is you’re going through your branding system, right, and how that can help you explore, explore your spirituality. And one of the things that I mentioned to you right before we got started here was, you know, more people reached out to me on on spiritual dope than a couple other podcasts. But what I did also nothing that I recognized and some of my other podcasts, the people that did reach out to me, my first one was fatherhood for the rest of us. And I had like this kind of weird dad snare, everybody’s got a weird dad snare and always got to the you know, whatever. But like, he was like, he heroin overdose died, stuff like that, right? Like, about 30 40% of people I talked to. That’s similar story, right? So you would track kind of who you are. I’m not saying, um, you. But you track like, like mines, right? So the people that are reaching out to me are also experiencing kind of what you’re sharing that this your sacred branding system, right? And recognizing that marketing, isn’t this the skeezy thing? Right? There can be some goodness that comes out of going through understanding what is your branding? What is right, so let’s talk a little bit about your sacred branding system so that people can kind of understand it from that perspective.

Mike Iamele 7:54
Yeah. Well, let me tell you how it got started. Because it is, you know, everything looks glamorous, or retrospect. But I promise you, it is not. So, you know, I was at this moment where I was really sick, like I mentioned before, and I was kind of sort of navigating this relationship with my roommate. And I went around from healer to healer. You know, I wasn’t into alternative healing at the time, but I was really desperate. And so I started going to reflexology, and Reiki and acupuncture and you know, energy healing, you name it, I was there. And one healer said to me, you know, can I pull a card for you? Okay, that’s what you want to do. And she pulled a card, and she said, Oh, my God, you are going through a shamanic healing crisis. And the second that you start to realize, and change your path and find new containers, everything will change, you will magically get better, and it’s gonna change your life. So I took it with a grain of salt at the time, but I bought a few books that she had mentioned. And I went on my way. And through this process of discovering, I started realizing this new spiritual part of myself. And so this is happening simultaneously. I actually owned a PR agency. So as you mentioned, I worked in public relations and health care reform. And I never thought that would be fair job. I loved that job. I mean, I liked it. I should say it was good, but it wasn’t fully fully right container. But it was good enough. And so this crazy thing happened, where I lost my passport, the day before my family was going to Aruba for New Year’s, we always go for New Year’s, my passport disappeared. I keep it locked in a safe wasn’t there. So I drove back and forth to my parents house to my house. Like I didn’t sleep that night. I was just driving. They were an hour for me, and could not find my passport. They went to Aruba. The next day. I was stuck at home. And so I you know, said to my partners, listen, guys, why don’t I take off next this next week? instead? I’ll work this week instead of being on vacation. And then I’ll go Ruby late and meet my family there. And kind of uncharacteristically, they had some issue with us. And so I thought, all right, well, I will work but I’ll work from Aruba. I’m going to Aruba and they said well, we don’t know if You’re really serious about this company. And I was like, You know what, maybe I’m not. And so I went to Aruba. I came back, and it was like someone else was speaking for me. I just said, I’ll give you a year’s notice, we’re gonna restructure, and I’m leaving. So now here I am sitting there and thinking, what the hell am I going to do with my life, like, I don’t have a plan, you know, I can sell my shares. I have a little bit of money, but I don’t have a plan. So I went to herbalism school, I went to nutrition school, I literally went to two schools full time that year, while working while taking spiritual classes, while exploring this relationship. It was the worst year of my life. But I finished it. And I thought, well, I don’t know what to do. So I decided that I was going to be the health and wellness coach for the Boston entrepreneurs, because I knew them all. Why not? Like I was an herbalist. I was a health coach, I can do this. And it was okay. I wasn’t making a ton of money, and I really love it. And so I started writing a blog. And this blog got decently popular. And someone REACHED OUT out of the blue and offered me a book deal. And I thought, Oh, this isn’t this is my purpose. I’ve always meant to be a writer, I’m going to do this book deal. So I write this book, I go on a book tour. And I hope not everybody’s listening to this part. I didn’t love it. It wasn’t great. still buy my book. It’s good. But I did not like just being an author and doing the book tour things, a lot of pressure. I didn’t feel supported. And so I thought, well, crap, I’m wasting my time. I’m wasting life. How do I not know my purpose? Now I’ve gone through the crisis. I’ve done all the things that every book tells me to do. I’ve one on every life purpose webinar, every life purpose training, I don’t know my purpose. So I go back to the drawing board. And I said, All right, what am I good at? What does the world need? And I’ve had circled that middle ground. Oh, it is so obvious. How did I not see it? I meant to create a blogging course. But this blogging course, is just going to be a blogging course, it’s going to be deep, it’s going to be spiritual, it’s gonna help people find their voice. And it’s gonna help them get booked deals and all this great stuff, right? So I create this course. And of course, you know, you got to go pro. So I put everything into this, like, I’ve got the lighting kit and the nice mic, and the Facebook ads, and the web designer and the business partner and all that stuff and put it out to the world. And five people bought it. The loss was extraordinary. I mean, that was the last of my savings, I was done. So I was mortified. I knew, I guess I will ask my partners to take me back after a year, who knows what’s going to happen? I still don’t know my purpose, after, you know, decades of trying, but really a year just focused on that I still can’t figure it out. I’m a failure. And so I decided to host a failure celebration, right? Because at least you know, maybe I can flip the script and celebrate Well, maybe something good came from this year. And I went into a Facebook group I was a part of. And I said, I’m happy to, you know, do some branding for you. And some work that I came up with way back in PR. It’s a simple system we use to help CEOs kind of think about their messaging in a very concrete simple way so that they can make sales decisions and messaging and interview talking points and press releases and all this stuff. Very simple. And so I went in there, and I offered it to these people. But these weren’t the, you know, tech entrepreneurs and healthcare politicians I was used to. These were life coaches, and artists and healers and all types of cool people. And every single one of them said to me, Mike, you didn’t just tell me my brand. You told me my life purpose. It’s like, wait, wait a minute. They’re like, What are you trying to say? And so I had to go back to the drawing board and figure out what am I actually doing here? What’s happening that’s telling these people claiming that they know their purpose in a way that’s never been articulated before. And so I did the process for myself. And I discovered six words. And these sorts of six words are aligned, zany, free, unmistakable, successful, and vulnerable. And the second I saw these words, every moment of trauma in my life starts to make sense, because I started to feel every time the opposite of those when I was protected. When I felt like a failure, these articulated better than anything, the biggest trauma of my life, I started to look at what felt good about it my PR job, but what didn’t, what made sense in writing, but what didn’t. And as I started to do that, simultaneously, people started asking me, what do you call this? And I said, it’s branding, but I guess it’s sacred, I don’t know, sacred branding. laughs That word on there. They start telling their friends and I was open for business. And I never went back to PR, which I thought I would the next day never did and that was six or seven years ago. Now. I

Brandon Handley 14:29
think. That’s great. That’s great. And I think that, you know, look, you you just stepped into kind of like your fear, right? And and you you surrendered a little bit, right? You just you just said you know what, this is what I got. I’m having this conversation. I’m gonna have the failure party, people are gonna step up. Do you happen to be in this group, like you said, of like artists and you know, these kind of spiritual people and you’re helping them find their purpose, and if I recall correctly, you’re like, I didn’t even know what mine was. All right. Hold on a second. Yeah, I did what? Hold on a second. Wait, I’m gonna come back. I’m watching Oh, this works because now I’m gonna work. It’s like kinds of hypnosis on yourself though, right? Like, all right.

Mike Iamele 15:11
So the irony about it is like, if we look at those words successful, I was hosting a failure celebration to make success, right, I was being super vulnerable, I was aligning with my type of people, like, when we start to unpack what that means, well, da, this was gonna be a moment of success for me. And that’s why I always call this you know, a reliable, predictable formula for success and fulfillment that works in any situation without fail. It doesn’t just work in job because it’s kind of To me, it’s like shooting darts, like most of us live life where we’re shooting darts in the dark, we kind of sometimes stumble upon success, and we that feels good. But even if we have something successful in our lives, we don’t actually know what made us successful. So we’re an artist who might say, well, was it the medium I was using? Was I feeling inspired? Did I have a lot of spaciousness that day? Or if we’re an entrepreneur, we think, well, was it the image? Was it the coffee was not asked these questions? Sure. relationships, same thing. What I often think is, when we do this work, what we’re doing is we’re mapping our experiences, you know, to do sacred branding, we’re mapping out traumas, we’re mapping our highest access points, we’re starting to notice a pattern and boiling that pattern down. And it’s kind of like flipping on the lights, doesn’t mean I’m gonna hit the bullseye every time, but I know what I’m doing. I can practice, I can say, Alright, I know I need to be vulnerable here. It’s really awkward for me, but I’m gonna keep practicing what that looks like in relationship until I can hone that sensitivity.

Brandon Handley 16:32
Right. Right now. That’s fair. That’s fair. The one of the things that I see out there is people trying to be vulnerable, but really, they’re just vomiting, like, or, you know, just just doesn’t come off as genuine. So how can you be authentically vulnerable on purpose?

Mike Iamele 16:52
It’s a great question. You know, I think that I think that there’s a difference between maybe intentional and strategic care. I think that this, you know, I guess the bottom line is, what is the reason that we’re being vulnerable? And that’s what I’m really interested in, when we go down to the brand energy level, is it about connection? Is it about intimacy? Is it about, you know, feeling aligned with somebody? Is it about being seen? Is it about feeling abundance, like, there’s a reason that we’re doing it in the first place. And if we’re not really tapped into that we’re kind of deceiving ourselves, we’re basically like, I want to make a lot of money. And so I’m being vulnerable to make a lot of money. But I’m not actually conscious of that I’m actually owning that the shadow. So it starts to come across as inauthentic. But I think when we really know who we are, and what kind of owning and claiming that, you know, I often say you don’t have to assert what’s claimed, right? If I’m asserting something, I haven’t fully claimed it. So if I have to be like, Oh, I am super masculine. That’s not something I’ve planned. Oh, I’m super vulnerable. That’s not something I’ve claimed, right. When I’ve claimed it, it’s just internalized, and then I kind of exude it. And I think that’s what I want for every person to be able to exude the authentic flow of who you actually are. Right?

Brandon Handley 18:01
I mean, that kind of goes back to like your beginning, right, you know, how can that person find out who they truly are? Right? And then helping them to figure out how to truly express that. Is that you know, I mean, that’s kind of that’s kind of, that’s the business that you’re in? Yeah, that’s

Mike Iamele 18:16
right there. you boil it down. Absolutely. Yeah. No,

Brandon Handley 18:18
I love it. You know, me. And it’s funny the story that you’re telling, too, because it’s exactly what happened to me, right? My first podcast was like, I gotta I gotta hit these notes. I got to do these things. I want to do it for money. Like, I didn’t really want to do it for money. But I was doing it for money. I was like, yeah. And then and then like, I was, like, you know, switched out did another one. And that podcast was wasn’t in straight alignment with who I was right? Like this. I was like, it’s almost there. I’ve almost gotten it, right. And then this one is like, is better? Right? This one? I’m like, I’m almost there. Again, like so again, like, and and? I’m sure, right. I mean, would you talk to kind of how the universe opens up once you find your alignment? Like, what’s that look like? For you?

Mike Iamele 19:02
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think, you know, it depends what language we’re comfortable using, whether we want to call it the universe, whether we want to say we’re just putting ourselves in the place of opportunities, and the right thing comes.

Brandon Handley 19:10
I think that that’s great, too, right? Because I think that a big a big challenge for the people that are like, you know, the spiritual ilk, or are super artsy, they’re not going to be as comfortable with the business language, right? And that’s, and that’s why they’re open to this other. Let’s open up to the universe. Let’s have a vision board, let’s, let’s do these things because they are these are goals, these are planning, these are all those other things, but it’s in a language that they their brain, and their subconscious will not filter out, like, oh, we’re gonna do it like this. That’s great, man. My energy is in alignment. Let’s do it. Right. Whereas like, if you’re like, let’s let’s come up with a plan. I’m not much of a planner. I don’t I don’t write hate plans.

Mike Iamele 19:56
Well, I think the thing is, you know, we all have our own Attachment towards our own language, our own connotation. And that’s why as much as I think things like, you know, MBTI or enneagram, with these systems are really awesome. I’m a big fan of, you know, speaking to our purpose in our own language through how we associate with words. And that’s why you know, I don’t really care. I tell people, if your words of Sally Bob and Jim awesome, if that means something to you, you go for it. And so my job is just to help them map how they use language and begin to boil that down to overarching themes. And it’s a really cool process. So we can

Brandon Handley 20:32
do. I do I do. Okay,

Mike Iamele 20:37
so, do you want to be a guinea pig? Or do you just want me to speak to your guinea pig. So this is gonna be my super super, like, dumbed down shoddy way of doing it. But if anyone wants to reveal a little bit more real, you can just go to Mike iaconelli.com slash map, it’s free. It’s 36 minutes, and you’re gonna get a worksheet. So it’s super cool. But let’s play now for 10 minutes. Okay, so Brandon, can you take a moment to close your eyes, and I want you to think about three jobs that you have had in your life. So just three jobs could be anything, it could be back in high school, you were, you know, a cashier, it could be a current job, it could be podcasting, just anything that you want. And when you get your mind in those three jobs, I want you to pick one of them and tell me what it is.

Brandon Handley 21:32
So, you know, once upon a time like that to my laptop, my eyes are not to show.

Unknown Speaker 21:37
Yeah, I know what’s happening.

Brandon Handley 21:40
You know, so once upon a time, I mean, this is going back 20 years, like I used to do two bunches like the raves right the nighttime parties, but like I do the promoting for them, right? Or like help hosts are like pull, pull, pull, pull the gathers together, right? I mean, so awesome. So you know, getting people together and and seeing them having a great night. I mean, that that was it. Right?

Mike Iamele 22:01
So you’re already getting ahead of the game. You’re so good here. So I want you to tell me, what are three things that you either made people feel or you gave to people? And so my example is you might make people like you said feel happy or fun or connected, or safe? Or maybe you made them feel like energized and manic. Like what were three things? Yeah, look, I

Brandon Handley 22:21
mean, people feel a you know, look, if you’re going if you’re if you’re on just as parties, like you get like, that’s an experience, right? One time experience, probably never gonna happen again. And it’s a life experience.

Mike Iamele 22:34
All right. experiential. We’ve got that 100%

Brandon Handley 22:38
straight bliss, man, right, dancing out dancing all night long. Right. You know, they stop dropping, I don’t know, whatever spelling.

Mike Iamele 22:46
So it’s experiential. It’s bliss. Is there anything else that you wanted to make people feel? I

Brandon Handley 22:50
mean, is active, right? It’s engagement.

Mike Iamele 22:52
Perfect. Perfect. This is great. So now pick a second job. And I want you to tell me a little bit about that job and then do the same thing.

Brandon Handley 23:00
The podcasting, right podcasting, the connections, like you can’t, it opens so many doors, right? Like, I mean, it’s a straight up opens. Like I can call I can talk to anybody, right? If there’s, I literally just interviewed one of my favorite authors a week or so ago. Sreekumar Rao, right? I have a podcast, would you like to be on it? Right? This is my space. This is what I do. And I think you’d be a great fit, right? I mean, so connections and then being able to connect, like you to the audience, right. So So Mike, I’m always on I’m like, I don’t just like Mike, you’re gonna like Mike and here’s why and, and just listen to him. Like, I don’t have to tell you, you’re gonna be able to decide for yourself. Right? So sharing those connections. And what’s left, I mean, it’s just, it’s just fun. Because you get to you get to this, this is an amplifier. Right? The microphone is an amplifier, I get to share my message with the entire world. And if anybody is any, like stratosphere, right? This is like radio waves. It goes all awake, universal man. So communicating my story to everybody that

Mike Iamele 24:09
I love that got universal. It’s amplifying. It’s fun. It’s connecting. Awesome. Got some great language. All right, one more. So the last job Tell me about it and tell me three things that you wanted people to feel from it. And,

Brandon Handley 24:25
I mean, I think bartending was probably just so much fun. And again, like it’s just always about other people connecting with other people being mean that kind of, I guess, you know, and even in like with the podcast, kind of being that that hub, right, that that that kind of generates all that energy to make it all happen.

Mike Iamele 24:46
Mm hmm. I love that. I love that. Okay, we’ve got some good good mapping going on already. But now I want you to take a moment Brandon and close your eyes again. And I want you to think of a really challenging moment. It could be frustrating. It could be And successful, it could even be traumatic, although we don’t want to go into any trauma that feels traumatic to think about right now. But anything that feels like this was a really tough moment in my life. And I want you, you don’t have to tell me what it is, if you don’t want that, I want you to tell me three things you felt in that moment.

Brandon Handley 25:18
So I think I think I’ve talked about it before, but like, there was a point when I was doing like my fatherhood for the rest of this podcast. And then I got offered an amazing job, right, like a great salary. And I was like, Well, I have to stop focusing so much on this father for the rest of us thing, right, not attached my identity that that I and I realized I was like, Oh, my God, I attached my identity that same time realize that I was willing to kind of throw that away for a bunch of money. So I was kind of battling that. Right. So that was it. That was conflicted. Right. And, and it kind of, it tore me apart in a way that I wasn’t expecting, you know. At the same time, it also made me realize how much I attached my identity to what it is that I do.

Mike Iamele 26:04
Yeah, that’s, thank you for saying I’m gonna try to remember that because it’s something really beautiful. We’ll talk about right after this process. But um, so what do you what did you feel? I know you say conflicted, but what do I mean? Did you feel like you were like, disgusted at yourself or wanting the money? Did you feel angry? Did you feel frustrated? Did you feel blocked or trapped? Like, give me a little bit longer? Yeah,

Brandon Handley 26:25
I mean, I could probably go with like a little bit of of trapped or locked, right? I mean, look, I’m, I’m a family man, when you’re looking for, you know, make given stability to children and my wife and, you know, trying to give them that life. Give them you know, the the white picket fence and all this stuff, right. We’ve been trained very well for this

Mike Iamele 26:43
shot. Yeah, absolutely.

Brandon Handley 26:45
Yeah. So I mean, that’s definitely it was, I think, traps kind of a harsh word. But I definitely felt like you know, I had to do that thing, because that’s what was expected. Right.

Mike Iamele 26:56
So we’re better word be obligated. obligated. Good. Okay, that’s good. Okay, cool. So what, then if you felt conflicted, you felt obligated? What would you have wanted to feel ideal world if you could just magically have the perfect situation? What would you have wanted to feel in that situation? Yeah.

Brandon Handley 27:12
I mean, it should be easy, right? ease is what you know, ease, there should be no tension if you’re doing the thing that you’re in alignment in life.

Mike Iamele 27:21
Right. Right. So just flow II happening, okay. And maybe agency rights, not obligation, you’re choosing it, you’re just kind of Right, right. I

Brandon Handley 27:30
mean, I’m taking, you know, look like if you just take money out of the whole thing, like in this situation, like, Can you just go do what you want without money? Right, then then it’s easier, right? Like, like, maybe

Mike Iamele 27:41
you’re passionate, right? Because you know what?

Brandon Handley 27:45
I’m a 5050 on the word passion. Okay. I don’t like to flame out on something, right? Because, like you like, you know, what is it? Is it better? What is it better to burn out? Definitely anyways, man, I don’t want to I don’t want to use it. I don’t. And it’s a trigger word, obviously, for me, right? You know, being passionate about something because I want I want to follow it through again, with ease, like, You figure if you’re passionate about something, it’s burning, all that energy is burning up quickly. Right. And, and it has the opportunity to dissipate, but at the same time, it could you know, be the igniter of the fire. But that’s where I’m at with that.

Mike Iamele 28:21
I’m just gonna call it one thing. So I think it’s really interesting here. First of all, you know, anytime we have a triggering word, it’s where we have energy, right? So it doesn’t mean that this is a word that we’re interested in using. But what it means that there’s something in this concept that feels interesting. And I think what’s really fascinating for me, is we’ve talked about a lot of words, the very igniting very, very before we talked about amplifying and energizing for sure, excited, but we want something sustainable. So we just learned, okay for you. It’s got to be a sustainable version of that. That’s great, because all we’re doing is mapping how your mind works right now. Right? All right. Now, last thing, close your eyes one more time. And I want you to think of the happiest day of your life, or one of the happiest moments that comes up. And I want you You can tell me about if you want, but I want you to tell me three things you felt in that moment.

Brandon Handley 29:09
So I mean, I have to say it was probably when my first son was born. Right? Um, man is just, there’s just nothing. Nothing really compares to that. Right. I’m one of those reasons is, is you know, I never thought I was going to be a dad, right? I didn’t have like a good dad experience. And so for this opportunity to just kind of present itself. I was like, this is awesome, right? I get to be a dad. I was like, I’m not gonna suck at this. Like, that was like the one thing I knew I wasn’t gonna suck at. Right. So I was happy to take that on and to, you know, be able to have that role in my life, you know?

Mike Iamele 29:48
So, you know, and that’s beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. So I know you felt you know, happy. What else would you say? What did you feel in that moment?

Brandon Handley 29:57
I mean, touched right. Like that’s like, you know, we It’s probably you know, if I, if I’m looking back, you know, connecting the dots backwards, I’m sure that I’ve been touched by source like several times, but like it was one of those recognizable times you just like literally feel blessed. Right? And I’m not I’m not I’m not a Jesus guy. I’m not a god and by but like, you know, you feel blessed you feel touched in that moment. So that,

Mike Iamele 30:23
yes, beautiful, and I’m getting the sense that you can correct me from your I’m wrong here. But that there’s a sense of alignment. Like it almost feels like this was meant to be or kinda Yeah,

Brandon Handley 30:32
look, I mean, it’s just there’s no other way, right? I’ve got a friend of mine who’s up in Boston as well, you guys just should connect. He gave me the acronym Tina, right? There is no alternative.

Mike Iamele 30:43
Yeah. Oh, this is beautiful. All right. All right. So you’re I only picked these moments because these are emotionally charged. And we’re gonna get you know, squeezed the most juice out of the emotionally charged moments. For everybody listening, you know, if you go check out that webinar, Mike on mlb.com slash map, it’s a little bit more in depth, but I’m trying to keep it brief for everyone here. So one thing we’ve seen is we’ve seen a huge theme across your life of this feeling, you know, wanting to make people want yourself feeling energized in the flow, a sense of ease, you know, a sense of being touched or blessed by things, connecting and Amplifying Voices, whether you’re, you know, club promoting, you’re amplifying a message or energize people amplifying the voices. When you’re doing that with podcasting, for sure you’re doing that, you know, I’m sure that these are, you know, lessons that you want to send your kids or your child, so you know, helping to energize them helping to amplify their voice making them feel they have a strong voice, and they matter. These are themes that I’ve gone through your life, I’m gonna guess that if you look back to some of those traumatic moments of your life, you might feel there were points where you didn’t feel like your voice could be spread out far and wide, or you didn’t feel energized,

Brandon Handley 31:51
suppressed, for sure,

Mike Iamele 31:53
exactly. And so we’re gonna see those shadows, the exact opposite to what we talked about, they’re gonna start to, you know, to articulate some of the darkest moments of your life. And now we can start, let’s say, all right, and I have with my best friends, yeah, I feel this. I feel like my voice matters. I can speak up, I feel energized, I feel excited this ease this flow. When I talk to these, you know, really awkward people and people I don’t really like I don’t feel those things. It’s

Brandon Handley 32:15
like a blanket, right? I mean.

Mike Iamele 32:18
So what we’re doing here is we’re just mapping your sensitivities, we’re understanding and you can go back and use this work for past trauma. You can use it for healing, you can use it for business building, because now we know all right, you do really well, when you have guests on who are energizing and exciting and alive. You love connecting with people, you love Amplifying Voices of people who matter to you. So you need to make sure that you’ve got guests on that you really believe in their mission, and you’re excited about it, and they want to help amplify your podcast too. And now all of a sudden, start changing the business decisions you make and how you show up. And you asked me before you know about vulnerability and authenticity. For me, if I mean for you, it’s really going to be about showing up with energy and that voice and giving the message because that’s what you do when you’re most authentic. And I just think I mean, this is my shoddy way of doing it with you today. But I think it’s so beautiful when we know that because again, it’s like we turn on the lights. And now we can practice hitting that Bullseye doesn’t mean we’re gonna hit every time, right? We know how now,

Brandon Handley 33:13
right? So now that was awesome, man, I really enjoyed I enjoyed that. And and you know, that practice would be built into your branding, right? So a lot of a lot of times I think that people will be like, Hey, I don’t I don’t know, my art type is right. Or I don’t know what my you know, I don’t know what my niches I don’t know, I hate the word niche. I don’t do niches right. Like and so, or, you know, you know, I don’t want what’s the you know, avatars are dumb man, you know, so. So, this this practice sounds like it, it kind of can substitute for some of those marketing pieces, right? Or branding pieces without robbing the the non marketer guy or girl wrong, right?

Mike Iamele 33:57
Absolutely. Well, I think one thing you said that was really interesting is you talked about how so much of your identity was in what you did. And then podcasting and it’s really hard to let go of. And I don’t think that that is abnormal. You know, a lot of us we do one of two things, the big containers in our lives, our relationships, or jobs, right? Those are the two containers where we’re talking about life purpose, we’re probably talking about one of those two things. And the thing is, those are just containers for those energies to flow that we just talked about. So is your healing. So is your morning routine. So is the way you get dressed. So is the way you decorate your house. So is the way you do yard work, or your friendships like these are all just different containers. And when we are so attached to a container, it means we don’t really know what the essence is, because we don’t think we can get that same essence somewhere else, right? When we know that essence. It’s like, oh, that job went away. Now how can I make my new job? You know, be connecting and energizing and amplifying all these things? And then we’re going to start to look at like, Alright, where am I gonna fight for my voice in this job? Where am I gonna win? What am I not willing? To settle on, and what am I willing to settle on? And that’s really important to me. Because when it comes to marketing, you know, a lot of people think it’s something really different and hard and complex. And the truth is, it’s just another container. I had no plan for this conversation. And you know, sure one of my energies is vulnerable. So I show up and I share whatever it feels called. And I’m zany, and I’m loud. And I like to be crazy and play a little bit. And that is part of how my energy flows. I don’t know, what do you call this marketing right now? Maybe, maybe not. But it’s just me being myself. Sure. So is working with people and so is, you know, getting to teach live and hanging out with my husband and the way I dress? Right? Well, I mean,

Brandon Handley 35:40
not for nothing, right? Like, so I mean, what’s your, your, your, your kind of like zona genius, or, you know, whatever you want to call it is, is, is being able to help somebody get clarity on themselves? Right.

Unknown Speaker 35:50
Yeah.

Brandon Handley 35:52
Right. Right. Right. And that’s a real challenge. I think that for an individual to go through I think, I think, and this has been my experience, right? I think it’s a real challenge for a lot of people who would like to get into podcasts and YouTube and whatever, you know, the the, is there a name for like, what’s happening like now like, in in the kind of industry, it’s not like just social marketing, but maybe it is right. But the deal is to try and run at it alone can be very frustrating, and especially when they see how easy it is for Mike. Right.

Mike Iamele 36:27
Thank you for saying that. Because I love to, you know, share all my vulnerabilities. Believe me, everything I said earlier, looks graceful in retrospect, it’s not it’s never retro, you know, graceful in the moment. And I think the thing is, you know, we do this work, because this system can run independently of me, like, you can go check out that webinar, you can go, you know, sign up for our course, later on, like, eight works, because everybody thinks they’re all over the place. Everybody thinks, oh, Mike, but my jobs they don’t even make sense. They’re not remotely similar. You don’t know. I can tell you that’s true of me. Right? I work in health care form. And then I’m, you know, this herbalist, and then I’m like the spiritual teacher, I don’t know what the heck I was doing. But you know what, it all boils down to connecting dots. Here’s the thing. I literally align vulnerabilities and people’s zaniness and idiosyncrasies to help to free them from the stories and make them successful and understand that unmistakable ality that my energies told me that they told me what I do, and everyone else’s do your lived experience has the blueprint for success, the blueprint for fulfillment, because you have been successful somewhere in life. Yes, that’s all Yeah, we can map Why then we start to understand your formula. That’s not something exclusive to me. I know people listen, I said, screw you, guy. Like you don’t know what I’ve been through. That’s not I can promise you that because I thought I was the most fucked up of all.

Brandon Handley 37:47
Well, and I think that you bring up a good point there too, once you kind of understand the pattern, right? Once you once you understand how you can connect one or two dots, like you can connect the third. Yeah, fourth, or fifth, right? So going through the work, right, what would you say that means to you?

Mike Iamele 38:09
It’s a bold question. So you know, the work can mean many things. So if we’re talking specifically about sacred branding, which for me, it’s all the same, like the work spiritual work for me is safer branding, because it went about the person going through it like, like, so if somebody’s going through sacred branding with you, and they have to do the work.

Brandon Handley 38:27
Right. What does that mean? So

Mike Iamele 38:29
it means, you know, basically committing to your energies, here’s the thing that will happen. Inevitably, almost every person who’s done my work, will after a year or two years, say, oh, Mike, I went through a monumental shift in my life, I got to redo it, my energies are wrong, I got to redo it. And what’s happening there is not that their energy is wrong, because anyone we’ve done this with wife, kids, anyone over the age of 13, their vocabulary and their conceptualization of language isn’t changing enough for their energies to change. What’s happening is their understanding of those energies is changing. And so what it’s asking for is intimacy. intimacy is when we commit to something and we learn more about it, it’s a lot easier to just run away and try to change say, this is

Brandon Handley 39:11
one more time and intimacy is what

Mike Iamele 39:13
Yeah, when we commit to something and learn more about it and ourselves and when we’re deepening right? If we commit to a relationship, a relationship is gonna challenge us of course, we have to learn about ourselves, we have to learn about our partner through that relationship. But if we every time we get challenged, run away, that’s not intimacy. That’s not commitment. So what doing the work is is actually committing saying, alright, what can this interview this moment right now teach me about aligned, zany, free, unmistakable every fight I have every you know, challenge my life is to ask myself, what can I learn right now about success? What don’t I know about it? And it starts teaching me more about myself. And then we start doing deconditioning because here’s the thing we’ve got a lot of toxic conditioning in our society, both some we’ve talked about on this podcast, but also some we haven’t. And that’s not a That’s not something we’re born with. We were born was

Brandon Handley 40:02
like, What? Yeah, what’s one or two?

Mike Iamele 40:04
I’m talking about misogyny and racism and homophobia. I’m talking about, you know, beliefs about making money and spirituality. I mean, there’s a lot of conditioning out there. And so when we we weren’t born with that we were born sensitivities. So we weren’t born with conditioning.

Brandon Handley 40:19
What’s the deconditioning? Well,

Mike Iamele 40:20
what I’m saying is that if we to know what we aren’t, we have to know what we are. And when we know those brand answers, I used to ask myself, what about this moment isn’t actually vulnerable or unmistakable? What’s wrong here? What do I believe that’s not actually that, and when I can anchor it to something, I can pull out what isn’t that it starts I mean, we do this at the higher levels of the work, but it starts to become a lot easier to say, Hey, you know what, I’m ready to let go of that belief. Because actually, I can see my truth, and I can feel it. And you know, I it’s a sensitivity so I can literally feel it in my body, it’s not just a thought I have in my mind, it’s something that I can feel and you know, at higher levels, we start thinking about, okay, let me feel what successful feels like my body. Now, let me feel unsuccessful. And so when I walk into a room, and my stomach tightens, immediately, I know I feel unsuccessful, I’m gonna say no to that opportunity, it starts becoming intuitive because your body, it’s your senses, right? Your taste, touch smell, it can tell you these things, your thoughts, your conditioning can’t do that, because it’s not really who you are. So the more we start tuning into who we are, we can actually trust our intuition more, we can trust our bodies more. And that’s why we get better at hitting that bull’s eye, right? Because now we know the opportunities that will lead us to success, you know, the flow with the universe. And, you know,

Brandon Handley 41:32
you tell me, tell me about tuning into your intuition, right? And how, how do you begin to trust that intuition, right? It’s funny, because guys, anybody’s listening to podcast knows that. Nine times out of 10, I’ll jack up a name. and nine times out of 10. I know, I should have asked before we got going. And what’s funny is that, before we got going on the podcast, they like followed his intuition. You know, also something that maybe it not only you know, is has he had the experience of people butchering his last name, but he knew, connected like an intuition to me and said, Hey, do you need to know how to pronounce my last name? Sure. Right. So how do you, you know, how, how do you begin to trust your intuition? And not just in a negative sense, right? Because a lot of people are like, Oh, I shouldn’t do this. And and they follow that to a fucking tee, right? Like, like, Oh, I shouldn’t? If it’s a no, I’ll follow that. Sure. But how do we encourage people to follow their yeses?

Mike Iamele 42:34
You know, I think it’s the same thing we talked about with intimacy before and commitment. It’s really about saying like, Okay, first of all, if my energy is vulnerable, I know that when I am in safe, vulnerable space, I’m going to be more intuitive. I know that when I speak a lot, like I do a lot of processing, just speaking out loud. It’s why I can’t shut up, you’re probably like, Mike Shut up. I can’t because that’s when things start flowing. For me, I know that I know, vulnerable. So what will I do to do that? Well, sometimes I’ll close my eyes when I want to be intuitive to be more vulnerable. And what starts to happen over time is, the more I do it, and for me, it’s got to be in safe space with people I can be vulnerable with, I practice being intuitive for a long, long time with people I trust to like it. So I internalized that vulnerability. Because at first, we think it’s outside of us, right, we’ve got to be in the perfect vulnerable condition. And we’ve got to be in the perfect zany, you know, where people can be playful. But over time, we internalize that sensitivity. And now I don’t care who’s around me, I don’t care if you think I’m fucking crazy, I’m gonna be vulnerable, I’m gonna be who I am. And trust my intuition. And so I think, for me, it really starts with knowing again, I mean, I am obsessed with the brand energies, I’m obsessed with my work because it’s knowing who we are. And then it’s just tuning into that and practicing, it’s throwing at that bull’s eye over and over and over again, until we know we can hit it. But we can’t practice if we don’t turn on the lights. So we need to connect those dots.

Brandon Handley 43:57
Awesome. So you’re, you’re you’re lined up with your purpose, you’re fully charged. Can your purpose change?

Mike Iamele 44:04
So great question. I love you throw the good ones at me. So your containers can absolutely change. And they do change containers, the temporary relationships and your physical body changes your desire for sex changes, your, you know, your home changes, your job changes all these things. But what you want from that, and what you give to that doesn’t change, because that’s your senses that you’ve had since you were born. So I teach classes on your sex intimacy all the time. And people always say this while my body’s changing my desires changing all the time. But sex that’s just about getting off. isn’t all that interesting, in my opinion, like, sure it can sustain us for a little while. It’s not interesting. We always want something specific from sex. It’s to us, we might want a space of vulnerability, a space where we can be playful and explore our deepest fantasies, a space where we can explore submission or dominance or whatever. That’s what we actually want and would probably want to explore that over time. Now, the definition of what that looks like is going to dange vulnerable sex to me today very different than it’s going to be in 50 years. I understand that. But I still know when I’m actually looking for. And so I don’t have to be so attached to the container like you before with Oh, the podcast is the only way I can say that. Yeah, exactly. We let that go. And now we just have the essence. You know, you

Brandon Handley 45:19
bring up a good one, too. In the sex energy piece, I actually had somebody reach out and ask about, you know, why, you know why I might think that, you know, nuns, priests monks, abstain, right? Or even how does sexuality play out in spirituality? Right, is spirituality like? And the question was, was it is, are they missing it? Right, maybe, like, maybe they missed, like, just how the connected in spirituality was. But I think that kind of what I’m hearing you say a little bit too is like, if we just follow our basic needs, like the running as it were, right? That’s not so spiritual. Whereas you can explore these vulnerabilities and make that into a spiritual, evolving experience.

Mike Iamele 46:07
Well, I think what we’re talking about here is empty containers, right, we have a bunch of them in our life, so we can buy beautiful art, or we can shop at home goods, I’m not shaming anything about that. But the Home Goods piece isn’t gonna make me feel something as deeply as an artist putting their intention in because it’s full of assets. And so we’ve got a lot of, you know, like, sex feels good. Most people like sex, but it’s not going to nourish us deeply if it’s not full of essence. So it’s just kind of like, Alright, this is a biological need, I get off, this feels good. And I move on. And now I didn’t have that deeper transformation. I didn’t work through my shame or trauma, I didn’t feel this great, you know, divinity or connection with God, I just thought, that’s cool, but it’s empty. And over time, it’s slowly killing us. Like we live in a world right now, where we are not sensitive enough, we’re not we’re numbing out, right, we have an opioid epidemic going on right now. Um, you know, there’s a lot of whether we are coping through this pandemic, with, you know, food, or drugs, or alcohol, or movies or TV. And those coping mechanisms aren’t inherently bad in themselves, but they can be ways of escapism, and this association, right, for sure. And what I always say is, look at art, great art, when an artist puts their heart and soul on it, it moves us, he can make paintings dance, and spark cultural revolutions and political movements and make words jump off the page. It makes us feel alive, it makes us feel more sensitive. When we feel essence, when we feel someone so tapped into their essence, we become more sensitive, not to them, but to our own essence, because that’s what we grow up that

Brandon Handley 47:38
no, yeah. And you know, that that also brings up the whole idea of, you know, look, our energy fields, right, raising our BB around people that are, you know, high vibe, right? Where is is as long as you and I are like connected in the same way, a kind of vibratory field if I’m vibe and higher, and I’m, you know, strong with that, like, I can help bring you up, right, and vice versa, or transfer transfer feeling without like, craziness.

Mike Iamele 48:04
I mean, it’s basically our vibe is naturally high when we’re fully here and fully ourselves. And so yes,

Brandon Handley 48:10
it’s part like the essence part. I know you said essence like several times, would you would you? Would you? Would you liken that to connected to source

Mike Iamele 48:18
Sure. Exactly. Connected to source, lifeforce energy, and we know what sexual energy if we’re talking about sex, any of these things, essence brand energies, you know, life purpose, whatever you want to call it. I’m not a stickler on language. And I’ve purposely used a few different language in this talk, because I don’t really care. Like I your brand energies are your own language, you choose that yourself, it’s what resonates for you. But when we are fully in our bodies, and we aren’t, you know, a lot of times we have trauma, so half of me is back in this past memory, and half of me is over here and half, you know, it’s like a Harry Potter Horcrux. Right, we’re split in a million different ways. But if I’m fully fully present, I’ve a lot more power here. And so I want to fully be present and sense the world see, taste, touch, hear smell more of the world. And the more I’m tapped into lines and zany and frayed, that’s how I do that. And that’s how I do it for other people. That’s why I love podcasts, because we just get to hang out and activate people make people more sensitive to themselves and it’s so much fun. And so yeah,

Brandon Handley 49:17
percent i think that’s you know, that’s, that’s, uh, you know, what they, you know, I don’t know how many episodes it took me to get to activate somebody right? Like that’s what this that’s what it’s for. Right? That’s exactly that’s what 100% it’s like, you know, looking for one person out there This podcast is for one person to be activated. Right and so like that’s what you just did you just you know, self when you activate it somebody out there congratulations. Yeah.

Mike Iamele 49:40
And yours while they

Brandon Handley 49:43
love it. I love it. Well, man, look, look anybody. I think you got a great feel for what it is that you kind of deliver even though you know you kept saying shoddy. I think that you know it was very well done. had a lot of fun with having you on here and they would be Recognize that if they should reach out to you that they should, right? And where should they go again? Like,

Mike Iamele 50:07
yeah, so Mike iml.com slash map ma p for mapping your sensitivities, and it’s 36 minutes, you get a whole training, you get a worksheet, it’s free. Go ahead and do that, because you’ll start to know your sensitivities.

Brandon Handley 50:19
Who’s your ideal customer?

Mike Iamele 50:21
Oh, gosh, so many. I mean, people use this word for so many freaking things. But I really love people who haven’t felt at home and other spiritual practices, you know, it feels very dogmatic. It feels like they’ve had to internalize a lot of stuff that doesn’t match up to critical thinking. And I, you know, we’re intelligent beings, like, it doesn’t make sense to talk about purpose as achievable, even though we’re told that like, Oh, your life purpose is to be a life coach, or we say that this pisses me off, you join a life purpose webinar, right? And they do one or two things, they’ll say, at the very end, your life purpose is to love. Great, awesome, I’m all about love. How does that help me with my trauma with my relationship with my business in my marketing, that doesn’t help at all, we’ll go the other way. And they’ll say you love writing your purpose is to be a writer. And again, like you if I internalize that, and I did for a while, well, now when I give up my writing job, I feel I have no purpose.

Brandon Handley 51:13
You want somebody to detach from your sense of a day,

Mike Iamele 51:16
right? We see that with people who go through a divorce or get laid off or lose a job or change jobs. You know, we see this breakup all the time, these problems with mostly its job or its relationship containers, when they break down, we lose our sense of purpose. And that doesn’t make sense. So I really like people who actually want to take some critical thinking and say, wait a minute, let me think about this. Let make sense to me. And then feel right to me in my own language. Hmm.

Unknown Speaker 51:41
Nice.

Brandon Handley 51:42
I love it. Well, man, Mike, thank you so much for coming on and being a guest on spiritual dope today. Yeah, thanks

Mike Iamele 51:47
such an honor.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Brandon Handley 0:00
All right, spiritual dope, what is going on today? Today we are on chapter six. Are you ready to succeed? By Sreekumar? Rao? Again, just just just a great book. We’re on chapter six. This is which addresses this is I’m sorry about that.

Unknown Speaker 0:23
We,

Brandon Handley 0:24
you live in a me centered universe, right? You live in a me centered universe. And we are on part two. And I believe we ended at the end of where we ended up, we ended. There we go, we ended up surrender to the universe last time, right. So

Unknown Speaker 0:49
what we’ve got here are,

Brandon Handley 0:51
we had an exercise, but here’s a couple helpful Hansen. A big part of it. Maybe I said it last time, maybe I didn’t, I don’t recall. But you know, it bears repeating. It’s a consider in when you’re surrendering to the universe, and you’re working with everybody. And when you go forward with your intention, consider an idea that there’s a there’s a resolution where all parts are better off, everybody is better off. Right. And it may not be readily visible. One of the things that I studied over the past couple years is just negotiation. And there’s the the idea of pizza. And there’s two people that that want a pizza, there’s 100% of a pizza, right? But how about the idea that maybe this is a mushroom pizza, and maybe one person loves mushrooms but hates the crust? And the other person only likes

Unknown Speaker 1:46
crust?

Brandon Handley 1:48
So what do you do, we give one person 100% of what they like off of that pizza, right, they get, they get the crust, and the other person gets the entire pizza with, with the mushrooms, right? So you get 200% out of that pizza, then you get 200% of that pizza. And, and both people get 100% of what they like. So there’s opportunity all over the place out there for everybody to get all of what they want. The problem is, is most people don’t take that extra effort to kind of dig into it and figure out what that extra could be for the other person or what is that 100% for the other person. So as we move on, right, so that was a helpful hint for for that as we move on. We go into the idea that his surrender is not a passive experience. There is not passive acceptance, right? You’re not gonna just accept injustice as it comes along. And and, you know, look, there may be times where you stand up, and you stand up for the injustice, maybe you see some injustice at work. And, you know, maybe you rally the troops, and you go to stand up for that injustice, but it doesn’t work out as a matter of fact, for some reason, somehow, you end up getting punished for this adult, the idea is like don’t don’t get, you know, all sad and mopey. And, you know, dejected. Take a look at what you did. Think about what you did well, in that you stood up for injustice, right? You rally the troops, maybe maybe it was the actions in particular that they went awry. Or maybe it was the overall approach. Maybe it was the actual group of people. So maybe next time you re approach it with a different tactic or a different strategy and maybe maybe a different maybe a different set of people. So the other thing is, are you in this is it when you set out to do something that doesn’t work in your favor? Do you need to you need to try and figure out how you can simply let it go with out the emotional baggage. All right, I know that we talked a little bit about just you don’t want to be sad, morose, you don’t want to, you know kind of be attached to that thing. And then, you know, the negative emotions when you can let go of those negative emotions. It’s literally like a force multiplier. Imagine how much weight would be lifted off of your chest. If you if you could just let go of the negativity, right, you’ve got to deal with it. nobody’s saying you don’t have negative emotions. It’s not letting them drag you down and get all mired up in it. So the sooner you can let go of those and and move forward right in a positive manner and positivity meaning forward motion forward momentum, not simply like, oh, everything’s all fucking rosy and cheery. It’s a move forward. Right. And at some point, at some point, it’s gonna feel like the universe is actually working with you is actually dancing with you. It’s such a it’s a kind of a Beautiful Thing when it happens. And when it happens, this goes back to the chapter on miracles and being able to recognize that you are working in tandem with the universe to create these miracles. That’s a beautiful dance scenario. And listen, this may take years, it’s going to take years, I don’t know, most most people, it’s going to take years, it’s going to take time to get better and better and better at it, and perhaps even decades deal is you got to persist, you got to keep up on it. And you cannot fail, right? If this is your approach, if you’re letting go of negative emotions, if you’re working towards the greater good for everybody, then you really can’t, you can’t fail. So it gives an exercise of the other sensitive universe. So you’re going to pick one, you’re gonna pick one week, we picked to one hour time slots, where whatever it is that you do, you were doing for the sole benefit of others involved, right, you’re going to listen actively. And what that means is you’re going to listen, to listen, not to respond. Another way of active listening is, and this is I forget the name of the book, motivational interviewing, really great book that was created for

addictions. And people in rehab, however, is very useful in coaching. And anywhere really, you teaches you how to actively listen very well. So you’ll listen to somebody, they’ll talk, maybe you’ll ask him a couple questions. And it’s a little It is like he Miller’s the author. So one of the things that he recommends, and this is listen for for two lines, and then you’ll kind of reflect back to them. Right? Listen, question, question, reflect back actively, you know, what you just heard summarize it. And there’s different ways to do that. So, but while you’re doing that, too, you will think of ways that you can be of service to them? How can you help this person move forward, again, you know, positive momentum, or, you know, deal with their situation, or just, maybe you’re just there to listen, and that’s okay, too. So you’re going to practice, you can practice this with strangers anonymously, right? You don’t have to tell somebody that you’re doing this and you can you can you think of ways that you can be service to them, and you just go do it. And what you want to do is you want to take me my an eye out of the picture while you’re listening. So, you know, especially those variables, and then don’t just go give everything away, right, don’t just let it all go. Given this comes from Buddhism, and you give with wisdom, right, you know, give with wisdom give with, like, where you you feel like, it’s going to have the most impact and, and that’s one way to kind of approach that as well. Be creative, there’s so many ways that you can go out there and you know, help make somebody’s day or help this, you know, person out and in a one hour time slot. And so ideally each day, you know, so you’re going to do that, right. And then there’s other pieces, so each day, deliberately and consciously do more than one thing to make the world a little bit better. One of the ways that that I found are a couple of ways, especially given our social media nature is hey, you know, go out there and given give out some LinkedIn recommendations, right? Maybe you’ve got a friend that’s written a book, go leave Amazon book review. Maybe you have a friend who’s got an Etsy shop, share their shop, buy something from them. Maybe again, that’s the you know, same for people that have written a book, a friend of yours writes a book, don’t ask for them to give you a copy, buy a copy, support them. That’s what support is support isn’t reading it for free. It’s going out there and you know, how can you support that person and give them some encouragement to help move them forward? I’ll be practical and empathize. Your attitude I’ve got here in parentheses is is actually your approach. So attitude is actually your approach. It is super important to not expect gratitude from others for what you’ve done, rather be grateful that they have allowed you to serve them. Right be grateful they’ve accepted your gifts. You know, essentially with the universe moving through you creative source moving through you has given you the capacity to gift to that person. So you’re able to serve and that is a gift right that they’re they’re giving you a gift by by allowing you to serve each day make someone’s day is another piece of this. Hi, again, I go back to the LinkedIn recommendation somebody on Facebook, so on Insta share their share their post, make a comment You know, show them that they’re not alone and whatever it is that they’re going for and doing. That’s these are super simple ways that you can help make someone’s day friend alien that I’m doing this with, you know, she writes, she writes a newsletter, maybe you get somebody newsletter reply back to the newsletter, and and say, Hey, I really appreciate you know what you wrote here today, thanks for sharing. And oh, I didn’t see it. From my perspective, just a little bit of there are so many I know, there’s so many newsletters out there and so many materials out there. But some of these are genuine and written from the heart and not strictly written to get you into their program. Right. Some of these are true, true things. So what do we got here? That’s one way you can make someone’s day, eventually, you know, this practice becomes a part of your life. It’s not just, it’s not just Hey, I did this for the one week. Now, how many of these can string together? Like with meditation with exercise? How many of these great moments Can you string together in your life? Where it’s consistent, and it’s a steady flow of the universe giving through you to how cool is that, right?

So the idea, though, is that this is true of all the practices in this book. This isn’t just for the duration of going through this book or doing these exercises. It’s for the rest of your life, right? I mean, it says, you know, appearance isn’t something that’s going to happen in days or weeks. Now, that being said, you will notice, like almost immediately the benefits, but imagine, you know, just how great the benefits are in such a short period of time. Right? Well, those benefits be over time. However, there’s benefits pay over time. So it’s common for this is under helpful hands. As we finish up the exercise of the other centered universe, it is common for others to feel dejected, if they do not get the response that they’re looking for. Now, listen, if this happens to you stop, stop at. Focus on how you are feeling. When you do what you set out to do. Focus on how you’re feeling when you are giving or when you are in the process of doing it. Not so much the outcome. Obviously, you want to give the gift you want to serve in some capacity and manner. It’s while you are doing that, that you feel great. And oftentimes, you know, if somebody does react positively, you’re great. And you know, that’s a good feeling. But if if they aren’t responding the way that you feel like they should just stop it, relax, chill. Let’s step back a second focus on what it is that you set out to do. What was your intention when you got out there to go do it and eventually, you will find joy in what you do, and not the results that you get. I think that that bears repeating, you will find joy in what you do, not the results that you get. So there’s always some way to make someone’s day Don’t be lazy, figure it out. And then finally, you know, keep a journal so you can flip back and reflect on how this process has been working out for you. So had to whip through that one wanted to get it out there for you. This weekend will be the release of Sreekumar Rao’s podcast super excited about that, as I have been with so many others in and this is it’s it’s interesting the journey that this podcast is going on. So anyways, take it easy, don’t have a sign off and we’ll chat later.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


These two books will help with the concept of surrender in greater depth and detail.

Unknown Speaker 0:00
What is happenin? spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here, voice of a generation as we jump into yet another chapter of Are you ready to succeed? Hello, you know this was already ready to succeed is by Sreekumar Rao. And I love how has pm a lot of gruesome conversations with her. She says this is a there’s kind of it’s in my voice, right? How am I seeing this and what is what is my take on it in all honesty to like this, this, this just helps me to dig deeper into the content helps me to get closer and more personal with this content. And hopefully, you know, hopefully it’s something that brings you some value, right? Hopefully, this is something that

Unknown Speaker 0:54
once you’ve been introduced to it, it has a tremendous impact on you, just like it has had on me over the years. And you get some big takeaways. So what we’re going to talk about today is chapter number six. Your me centered universe creates the stress in your life. He says, Hey, you live in a me centered universe. I still remember first time I saw this as like direct attack, shots fired man street from our man. It’s not cool. But it’s true, right? No matter what happens to another, you worry about how it is going to impact you. No matter what happens, you know, something happens to your wife, your son, your daughter, your mother, you’re like, well, geez, how’s this going to impact the rest of my day?

Unknown Speaker 1:45
I’m guilty, definitely guilty of it. This is inclusive of your altruistic measures. Anything, anything that you feel like you’re doing altruistically, more often than not, you’re like, Well, you know, how are people gonna see me out to this outcome? What are people gonna think of me? And I remember when I first started my journey of, you know, kind of social networking and getting out there it was, it was, it was so it was for a reaction.

Unknown Speaker 2:15
Did this was soccer coaching, I was like, Well, I’m gonna go to soccer coaching so that I can network and possibly meet people and further my career versus, hey, go out there and do this for the right reasons.

Unknown Speaker 2:27
Nonetheless, you know,

Unknown Speaker 2:29
it’s still, I still still got out there to the coach, and I still had a good time. But I didn’t, you know, it wasn’t wasn’t with my heart in the right place that time, same thing, you know, with Toastmasters and other functions. So definitely done things myself, historically. And even to this date, where even if I feel like it’s for a good thing,

Unknown Speaker 2:49
sometimes there’s something

Unknown Speaker 2:51
backed into it that says, this is this is for me, and the the outcome that I’m looking for.

Unknown Speaker 2:57
We don’t want to hear, but it’s true. But it’s true. It’s true. So he launches into you know, a real simple exercise that you can do, just to see how this shows up in your life. So this should be super easy for anyone right now out there using zoom or Microsoft Teams, or, or anything, right, simply record a call that you’re having, and listen to how often you say, me, I or my, I should go check out you know, my podcasts I’ve done for interviews, right? How often How often do I say I’m here? Or am I right?

Unknown Speaker 3:33
And, you know, reflecting even right now, I’m sitting here reflecting on I’m like, yeah, we’ll want to do it aren’t aren’t I just trying to engage or share an experience? And maybe not right, you know, inherently made. That’s just the ego showing up. I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist. So listen, this is a big one, this so this one’s super, this one’s super helpful. says, Hey, you know, this is we’re gonna talk about the stress in your life. Right, Jay, and again, you are me centered universe is what really is the creator of all this stress in your life. And when I walked you through this, when I walk you through this, you’re gonna you’re gonna be like, Oh,

Unknown Speaker 4:12
just way I’ve been right. So Sreekumar walks you through this, it says, you know, things are always going on. And you were always, always going to react to them. The thing is, you’re not, you’re not reacting so much to the event itself. What you’re doing is that you are reacting to the potential future outcomes. Now you’re worried about what’s going to happen. If it doesn’t work out in the way that you want it to.

Unknown Speaker 4:45
or the give much thought about it. Honestly, you hardly give much thought about it working out the way that you want it to.

Unknown Speaker 4:53
And that’s because oftentimes, it seems seems like the universe is against you, right? And look, it’s tough to accept

Unknown Speaker 5:00
Thing is, you know, this even this even seems to compound and cause more stress, right? Because you’re like this is, you know, I want it to work out this way. You are you’re you have a desire for a specific outcome and you believe that should you follow XYZ steps, the universe

Unknown Speaker 5:22
should fucking reciprocate. Right? And then it does it. And then it does not reciprocate. So you

Unknown Speaker 5:31
take it personally.

Unknown Speaker 5:34
How often you know, I can’t stand? I can’t stand the acronym FML you know, people were like, Fuck my life and I really wasn’t what a guy hates me or maybe Yeah, then I’ve been I’ve certainly been guilty of being like, man, it feels like me against the world, right? judge you against the world fucking you against the world. God hates you called another shit. just doesn’t make sense. Fuck my life. So when you react to these events, you know, it’s it’s, it’s because

Unknown Speaker 6:04
you have expectations for everything. for everyone. And oftentimes, these expectations are communicated right? You just feel like these things should just kind of act out the way that they want again.

Unknown Speaker 6:17
You’re like, hey, universe, this is how it should supposed to work and yada, yada. And then it doesn’t, you’re like, well, you’re just fucking pissy about it. So you expand a ton of energy trying to get others to conform to your expectations, right? And then when you feel like you aren’t being heard, you turn up the volume and extra notch, you expand even more energy and then the results still do not change.

Unknown Speaker 6:45
The universe, man Geez, right, right. And then it’s like, Hey, I go on vacation and it rains, I go, I go to catch my bus. I missed the bus. My bonus wasn’t what I expected and the whole the whole universe always against me not and then then. And then then this is where the compounding comes in, then you punish yourself. You become uptight, you become anxious, you become irritable, you’re depressed or sit around and like you just, you just morose right and just feeling awful. And then

Unknown Speaker 7:18
essentially, like, you know what, you take it out on those that are that are close by, right, you withdraw emotionally. And you stop spending time with those that are close to you generally unhappy. I still remember I still remember that this was

Unknown Speaker 7:36
to a tee. This was how I wanted my first podcast coach, I wanted to coach with Sam Crowley.

Unknown Speaker 7:45
You know, I that’s exactly how I treated me because I didn’t you know, she didn’t react the way that I wanted her to.

Unknown Speaker 7:52
And I recall feeling this way. At the same time. You know, it was during that time that I was feeling that way. I was like, You know what, this is? The I did I put it back on me I was like this, you know, she just was acting in the way that she thought was

Unknown Speaker 8:09
best for us and our family. And I had to I had to I had to go and understand that and so I let go of it. And, you know, eventually, you know, we agreed to go ahead and take the podcast coach, but that wasn’t before I became emotionally withdrawn, stop spending time. You know, with her, I was just generally unhappy right now, you know, I don’t know that I punished myself so much. I punished her and the family because of it. And that’s not fair. Right? That’s not fair.

Unknown Speaker 8:41
So, you know,

Unknown Speaker 8:43
Sreekumar Rao causes a very toxic cocktail. Sometimes we drink this nearly every day. Sometimes we drink this nearly every day. But you know, he goes the good news is it doesn’t have to be this way. Now, the first thing you’re thinking to yourself probably is that

Unknown Speaker 9:04
you’re going to give up all expectations, right? That’s what that’s just not possible. That’s just not possible. Everything. Every action you take, there’s that there’s expected outcome. You go to fry an egg, you expect it to fry right? The problem isn’t so much with the expectations as it is with the reaction to the outcomes. Now let’s just take a look and just say hey, look, you have a limited control over yourself really you do and you and then you have literally no control over the outcomes.

Unknown Speaker 9:42
I can’t really I mean, I can think of a million things right you even just like if you start off the day with a schedule events are planned and you think of even mike tyson is like everybody’s got a plan until you get punched in the face right.

Unknown Speaker 9:56
So whatever your outcome desired outcome is

Unknown Speaker 10:00
In the actions you start take towards that sometimes your day ends up, you know, just like I said, you start off your day with a plan and your day just ends up turning out completely different than you had thought that it might turn out.

Unknown Speaker 10:13
You know, so he says, Hey, you, you do something with the desired outcome of a more often than not, you get result B, C, D, E, or even f. So, if that’s all going on, how do I prevent, you know, the toxic feelings you might be asking? So one of the things that you can do is just accept whatever outcome occurs, right, then whatever it is, this is the outcome, that’s the outcome, there’s not a whole lot, you know, that you can tie your energy up with the the outcome, especially, you know, if it’s, if it didn’t happen the way you wanted it to, we’ll pocket I mean, there it is. You can’t change the past.

Unknown Speaker 10:52
Except whatever the outcome is, hopefully, you can do it cheerfully. You know, there it is, I knew it wasn’t what I was expecting. And he says better yet.

Unknown Speaker 11:02
If you can actually embrace the outcomes,

Unknown Speaker 11:08
I don’t know of any scenario.

Unknown Speaker 11:10
I can think of plenty of scenarios, actually, you know, I think about even being let go from Cisco a couple years ago, I

Unknown Speaker 11:20
felt like a weight the way the world was lifted off my shoulder, actually, I didn’t brace it, I was like, great, you know, now Now, this gives me time to kind of go fine and opens me up to go do something different, find what I really want to do, or just try something different.

Unknown Speaker 11:37
Total, totally unburdened by something. And then, you know, the idea is, just doesn’t mean you compromise your values, right? This doesn’t mean like you, you sit there and you watch injustice, go on, etc. And then I’ll throw this out there. As a side note, if you’ve never done a values exercise, you should check those out. And if you want to do one with me, reach out right reach out. Brandon at spiritual dope, co or hit me up on Facebook or Instagram. That’s something that you’re interested in. I think that I think it provides a lot of value if you go through it.

Unknown Speaker 12:15
Do the work, right. Good thing bad thing. Who knows? What’s the time around this one so far? Guys? 12 minutes, a little rushed through it. I want to get to a piece at the end here. That I think is gonna be beneficial to a couple people I had mentioned that I was going to be doing this one because people are looking for patience and how do you kind of you know, seriously let go and and not be so uptight and strung the fuck out. This is very helpful. Once you kind of begin to employ this practice in your own life, so it goes good thing, bad thing. Who knows? Any time that you have an outcome, you see an outcome, you assign it a label, you say hey, this is good or bad.

Unknown Speaker 12:59
There’s a little Sufi tale that he shares in the book and basically, you know, it’s uh,

Unknown Speaker 13:06
you know, a farmer

Unknown Speaker 13:08
loses his mayor. And, or stallion, whatever loses a horse. And people are like, Oh, that’s terrible. And you know, the old guy goes, that good thing, bad thing. Who knows? Next thing, you know, the horse comes back with, you know, 10 others, and he’s able to get them all locked in pretty well. And people are like, yeah, yeah, well, that’s good. He goes, good thing bad thing. Who knows? Then, you know, his son, you know, breaks, you know, get gets a horse horse tramples on his leg breaks his leg, you know, so he’s maimed and lame, can’t walk, you know, well for the rest of his life. And people go Oh, man, that’s what a shame when he goes out good thing bad thing knows. Well, the next thing that happens is that

Unknown Speaker 13:51
you know, the army is running around collecting soldiers, and they’re taking all of the able bodied men. Well, they can’t take his son because he’s got you know,

Unknown Speaker 14:01
can’t he’s got a lame leg. So you know, it goes on infinitum. Just in that way, you know, people like good thing and he’s again, good thing bad thing. Who knows? You don’t know what’s gonna happen and essentially, you know, take stock of your current life take stock of where you are right now. What do you have that you feel is good or bad? The question is, how can you be so certain that it is good or bad? Is it possible

Unknown Speaker 14:33
that you just don’t know right? Don’t know how this whole thing ends up. So

Unknown Speaker 14:41
I think is a you know better just to kind of accept kind of what’s there in front of you. So it gives, it gives an exercise, right? exercise of good thing bad thing recommends that you look back through your life. Look, the things that you once deemed as a bad thing

Unknown Speaker 14:59
has

Unknown Speaker 15:00
That thing in fact, over time become lemonade. He does recommend that you know, leave leaves the super painful shit alone, right? He doesn’t say I say like that. But he says a nicer leave the super painful shit alone. All right. But you know what what can you make lemonade out of what have you already made lemonade out of if you go back and you look over your life.

Unknown Speaker 15:25
Finally, not the last part in this chapter. But the last part I’m going to do for today. This is the surrender to the universe. exercise a little bit more than exercise. But essentially, most people believe it Where we at, again takes take a look back, right and see what kind of bad things have actually become good things. If we look over COVID, maybe something good has actually come out of that. If you look over jobs, good or bad, maybe something good has come out of that. And essentially, the stress in your life is caused by your reactions to not getting what you want.

Unknown Speaker 16:05
And you can eliminate like nearly all of this by surrendering it to universe and Sreekumar Hales This is one of the most powerful pieces in the book. And to be 100% honest with you.

Unknown Speaker 16:19
Two or three years had to go by and I’ve had to read, I’ve had to read two other books. Before I even caught just how powerful this was, in my own life. And in this book, but those two books that I’ve read, just to share is Hawkins surrender and

Unknown Speaker 16:38
Michael singer surrender experiment. I think those are really two good books that really go deep on surrender.

Unknown Speaker 16:47
So if you don’t get this concept immediately, if you pick up the book, and you don’t get it, then check out those two books. And I think it will help explain a little bit more. He says, and this is true, you know, if you can surrender to the universe, you will eliminate 90% of your stress.

Unknown Speaker 17:09
90%

Unknown Speaker 17:12
that’s nearly all of it. Right? That’s, that’s a lot, a lot. So, look, you’ve you’ve been led to believe your entire life, that surrender is for the weak. Listen, you’re not playing dead, you’re still setting your agenda for what you want to happen. What you’re giving up and what you’re surrendering?

Unknown Speaker 17:32
Are the predetermine expectations. So what do you do, you still take all of your actions with a clear understanding of what you would like to have happen.

Unknown Speaker 17:41
And this is a piece that maybe you haven’t done before, but you consciously whiz for benefit to all parties involved. Oh, everybody, every fucking buddy. All right, recognize your actions are only one possible way to achieve the outcomes. Right, you have a limited understanding of all the forces at play. What this makes me think of is, is like the Bible, right?

Unknown Speaker 18:09
scripture, I don’t even know where it comes from, or where the lines come from. But you know, he has ways which you don’t know of like then yet again, I always throw this out there. You don’t even know how you’re alive. How does DNA work? Nobody knows the exact specifics of how things work. So recognize that your actions are only one of the possible ways to achieve the outcomes that you’re looking for. And let go. I can like go go do what you’re trying to do. But then like go, right.

Unknown Speaker 18:42
Don’t go chasing it with like, extra attachment strings, just like all pull at you after what you’ve just done. So detach yourself from the outcome. accept whatever comes again, cheerful, if possible. And if it’s possible, to welcome the results wholeheartedly. Then your your perspective on them will be transformed. 100% right. It’s a whole new event. That’s that’s happening and unfolding right in front of you

Unknown Speaker 19:14
detaching yourself from the outcomes Sreekumar says is it’s it’s skill, like riding a bike. The primary reason you haven’t done it up until now, you hadn’t thought about you didn’t think it was possible. And this may be the first time that you’ve considered the possibility that you can detach yourself from the outcomes and let go of that fucking stress.

Unknown Speaker 19:36
Because you believe that the outcomes should be what dictates your reaction, right? You don’t get something you’re sad. You get something and you’re happy. And you also believe that the older you get, the less things go your way. Well, no, no, that’s great. This isn’t that’s not it, right actions are within your control.

Unknown Speaker 19:56
The outcomes are not however,

Unknown Speaker 20:00
reactions are within your control if you decide to seize control, and that’s, that’s going to take, that’s what’s going to take practice. That’s the skill you need to develop.

Unknown Speaker 20:11
And let’s see, I think that that’s going to close it for Oh, wait, yeah. So that was the process of surrender that need to go through. So surrendering to the universe, letting go of the outcomes, detaching yourself from the outcomes is really the key. key piece. Not really yes and no.

Unknown Speaker 20:35
Yes, like but it’s not detachment with everybody go fuck themselves kind of thing. It’s detachment with

Unknown Speaker 20:44
wishing a good intent to everybody involved. And I think that one is the difference maker in this whole thing. All right, guys. Stay tuned a little bit later this week, I will get the rest of chapter six out there. There’s still quite a bit more

Unknown Speaker 21:01
potent material. Probably a quick one after that, because we will do some exercises. A couple more exercises and just a few more pages to dig into here for you guys. Hopefully, you are enjoying Are you ready to succeed in the voice of spiritual dope, hopefully you’re enjoying everything that’s going on out there. This is 2021

Unknown Speaker 21:23
and it has literally already begun.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


A couple of links were promised on this one:

random love and kindness meditation : https://www.mindful.org/this-loving-kindness-meditation-is-a-radical-act-of-love/

Brandon Handley 0:00
Welcome back spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here voice of a generation of people that they see the microphones I’ve got when I’m on my, my work calls zoom calls. And I’m like, that’s, that’s pretty big Mike, what are you gonna do Sing for us that the chokes got to happen, right. And I’m always a pretty sure is the last thing that you want, bro anywho we are working through chapters, chapter five, you can change the universe, we just got done doing the law of increase. And we’re going to do walk through a couple of exercises, and then helpful hints, and then we’ll cut it and then we’ll continue through the chapter. This one’s a little bit longer than some of the others again, feel a key, Dr. Rao snuka snuck one in here that is a true gem. And and it bears much attention. There’s much attention. So appreciation and gratitude exercise, this was pretty simple. If you don’t already have a gratitude exercise, I imagine most of you listening do. The idea, though, is that this is the last thing that you do at night. Last thing you do at night is that you write down things that you are grateful for that have occurred during that day. So please give some focus and some things that you’re grateful for during that day, spend about five to 10 minutes doing this. And do do it at least for a week, do it at least for one week. And I know that historically, I haven’t done this one at night, even though again, I’ve gone through this book several times. And I’ve done it more often in the morning. This past week, I probably did it three days out of the week. And what I really love to do before I go to sleep is to put on like some other audio or something like that. I’ll usually listen to some Vedanta society out watts, whatever, you know, whatever Swami is hot that weekend when Brian and I’ll put out some audio. And so since it says right here, the last thing you do at night, I haven’t been doing that. And I’ve been going to sleep right after I write out this gratitude. And he says, Hey, pay special attention to your morning chatter after you do this, I can tell you, I can tell you that there’s a massive difference between doing these when you wake up versus doing it when you go to sleep. And of course, I’m going to go ahead and I’m gonna, I’m going to plug the subconscious again, that when you’re going to sleep and you do this, and you love some of this information into your subconscious, that you’re you’re planting seeds that are overnight germinating and just setting your mind straight and you’re getting you’re getting that mental chatter to be the mental chatter that you want to hear. You want to see your appreciation, gratitude. So that’s the first one. And and I can tell you again, if you haven’t done it at night and made that the only thing that you do again, I have done it where I still put on some audio afterwards. And who knows who’s duplos Mario from done? What happens is, it’s almost like gibberish. Yeah, you interrupt the signal, right? You blur the signal, like old school, gravity or antennas, or maybe you’re driving through a tunnel, and you got a satellite radio, you lose connection for a little bit, right? You’ve disrupted the signal that you’ve created for yourself. Especially in the very beginning when you’re when your signals faint and weak to begin with. That’s what some of this other stuff does, right? It’s a massive interference between what you’re trying to create and your belief in it working right. So, just got a part two to this appreciation and gratitude. This is in tandem or long with or as, as you as you kind of gotten stronger or better with appreciation, gratitude exercise number one. And that’s going to be include moments of gratitude within the day. I do it with your heart, do it with your body. Really, really feel that emotion really, really feel that gratitude. I would I would dare say that gratitude is more of a feeling.

It’s a thought and a feeling. It’s a thought and a feeling. You do it with your heart do it do it with your mind, or just for a minute, merge them all and really connect and really feel, really feel it. That’s when it’s the most powerful. And he says, you know, do this throughout the day include moments of gratitude within the day. And just notice your tenor throughout the day. Very similar to noticing your mental chatter, your voice a judgment includes your witness in that so that what is your tenor? What is Brandon feeling right now you can see the feeling, you can almost see the emanation of emotion when you are in gratitude and it’s just as much larger field of vibration, it’s a clean and clear and wonders signal. helpful hints This one’s kind of fun. I mean, because look, ideally to as you’re going through it, don’t just apply this appreciating gratitude to yourself and the things apply this appreciation and gratitude to the people around you. Look for the things that that maybe historically, you’d been like, you know, this person’s put some me off this person’s a challenge and get out of this kind of victim mentality role. Put yourself in their shoes, understand and make the meet this huge attempt. This was a shift for me, but make this huge attempt to love everyone as they are. All right. love everyone as they are as they exist currently, right now. And understand that they are doing the chances are that in that very moment of their lives, they’re doing the best that they know how, even if you feel like they’re being lazy, even if you feel like they’re not pulling their way, even if you feel like for some reason they’re trying to be some versiv to who and what you are. Give them love because they’re teaching you something. They are teaching you something. And that’s the lesson, right? The lesson is, everyone is kind of a mirror of who you are, if there’s a trigger that they’re triggering within you. What does that trigger? Why are you triggered that way? Give them love for teaching you that lesson. He also says hey, if challenged with others, well realize that you’re actually wishing yourself well, right? Just because what’s what’s the line? You know, wishing others well is like, you know, something like the drinking the poison line. So big one there. And I think I think that’s it’s important, right? To go through life, honestly, not mistake, I was taught that honesty means you know, I salute the Divinity within you, right? See the divine and everyone around you realize that they their light is just as bright as yours. Even if they can’t see it for themselves. Even if you feel like they’re breaking their lightbulb and trying to stab you with it. They’re not. Right. They’re not just to see them as you see yourself and I think that the other line is you know, love your neighbors as you love yourself. You know, make sure that you love yourself properly or enough so that you are able to love others in the same manner. So let me see here. So again, he says, Hey, you will soon see this practice increases the good things in your life and it will not take long. I promise you this, there’s there’s a there’s this huge elimination of stress when you can look at everybody as doing the best they possibly can. As as you’re giving them love, as you’re thinking positive thoughts about them. Another great exercise for this one is a loving kindness meditation, make a jot here on section two. Right here, your pencil going down here. If you do, that’s great. If you don’t, that’s great to a section to add in loving kindness, meditation, if you’ve never done one, this is really nice and life altering as well. And I think it actually leads into the next chapter. We get begin to and listen, maybe you’re not but I know that I definitely have been lived in this nice energy universe that and again, we’ll talk more about that in the next chapter. You do this loving kindness meditation, and you get to start to

give your love to others in just like 10 to 15 minutes a day doing this and there’s such as wonderful reduction in stress and this wonderful sense and feeling of giving that up. I think you’ll you’ll truly appreciate it. We will be stopping here as we mosey on through chapter five or E rates succeed you can change the universe

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Brandon Handley 0:00
Welcome back spiritual dope we are working on are you ready to succeed written by Mr. Rao? And we are on chapter four, you can’t kill it and it won’t shut up. And we’re on part two of how many I don’t know, it’s just God, we’ll have to, we’ll have to play by ear. We just finished up with by golly,

Unknown Speaker 0:19
I’ll stop that mental

Brandon Handley 0:20
chatter. And now we’re going to get over to an incredibly fertile plot of land. So the deal is, look, mental chatter is not the the overall enemy. It only seems to be the enemy, because you just let it run amok. I’ll give you my, my chickens, for example, right? Like, if we don’t clean up bathroom makes a big old mess, right? If you don’t, if you don’t know that they’re running around, it’ll make a big ol mess like our kids, right? If we, if we leave him alone for too long in any one area, with all the things, they’ll make a big mess, because you haven’t been paying attention. I know mine, mine, don’t do that. And you haven’t been aware of it. So the idea is, though, now now you are aware of it. All right, now you’re aware that, you know, you’re you’ve got this mental chatter going on. And it’s been going on all this time. Sreekumar says, hey, look, imagine this is a plot of land with plenty of fertile ground. And if you’ve ever, if you’ve ever just kind of cleared off a spot in your yard or anywhere, and then you walk away from it for a while, you know, with your intention was, Hey, I’m gonna, you know, do this garden. I mean, I don’t know how many of you guys tried to do a garden over, you know, 2020 COVID. But what happens is, if you don’t pay attention to it, you’re gonna get all kinds of overgrowth, and there’s no way that you’re going to be able to see, you know, the bare ground that you left behind is going to be so much overgrowth, it’s like, wow, I’m not even gonna bother, screw it. Like, I’ll get to this next year. I know, that was me and my, my garden this year. So but imagine now what what happens if you leave this incredibly fertile plot of land alone for years, and years, you’ll have a forest job a big old mess. So your mind is pretty much the same thing. Right? Your mind will grow and nurture no matter what you kind of, you know, let in there or on there, it can not be prevented. There won’t be it’s impossible, right? Something’s going to grow there. It absolutely will produce. And here’s the good news. The good news is you may influence the garden, right, it’s going to take, it’s going to take some weeding, it’s going to take some rowing. And eventually, if you’ve ever had a Successful Garden, you’ll know that you’ll have so much leftover and you’ll have an abundance, you’ll have so much leftover, that you’ll be sharing it with others. The I remember a garden that I had a few years ago, and a fig tree and all this stuff I had so much I didn’t know what to do with it, though I couldn’t even with the tiniest garden, I had so much I didn’t I had to give stuff away. Right? This is this is like your mind when you nurture these, these awesome thoughts when you begin to nurture? How you cultivate the mind, right? I mean, it’s literally cultivation of the mind. So the deal is, you’ve been away from your mind, you’ve been away from tending to your mind for four years, right? You’ve been you’ve not been tending to the idea of your mental chatter you just been like that? Well, that’s just how it goes. And it rolls out this way, right? Because who has taught you previous to now that you just you write it out, there’s just your thoughts, your thinking your thoughts, and there’s one thing you can do about them, they come they go and you know, you talk yourself like shit that’ll happen. But deal is of course we know this now. That’s not that’s not necessarily true. So when you show up to your garden, and it’s a fucking mess, don’t be surprised, right? The real thing you want to do is be grateful that there are some useful plants right thoughts and ideas anything good at all in there. And then literally set about to tending to that shit, you got to imagine that imagine the the people that came to the United States of America, and they had to they had to cultivate the land right in order to grow they had to clear down fields and forests and they had to create fields and they had to do that do a lot of that they’ll do a lot of work. That’s your mind right? You know just pretend like you’re no secrets for Columbus when there’s somebody Christopher Columbus man, but the deal is imagine years some years some adventure, right? And you get stranded at some Island and right now you’re you come into a place that you’re very familiar with your mind, you know, the things that are in there and and now you know Now you know that you can create within your mind, right? So we’ve got this, we’ve got this idea of your mental chatter. Now you’ve got the idea of, you know, awareness, right. And he’s got a great line. And it’s the weeds in your mind will wither

once exposed to the light of awareness, and you know, plenty of people will tell you this one too, that, you know, darkness goes away, once you expose it to the light, right, it’s super, super simple, same thing. And you will recognize as you begin now, with their, with your practice, the distracting and unsupportive thoughts are the things that are bringing you down and simply not serving you, you’ll be able to, you’ll be able to recognize those now. And, you know, simply recognizing that you’re having those thoughts will tend to diminish them, right, it’s kind of the idea of weeding them out. As built up, round up in your mind, if you will, or again, you know, think of it as like this kind of nocturnal plant that once exposed to the light just shrivels away, you don’t really have to say or judge anything is something that I would say about this experience, once you just recognize it, you know, see the thought for what it is, it’s a thought, it’s no judgement to it just be like, Oh, it’s not really helping me, ah, I’m gonna let that one go. Or, and literally the other concept of it is, it is a stream of consciousness. Let it go on down its merry way and it’s bubbling fucking broke and just let it go. So we get to the witness, right, the best friend you will ever have. This is what will assist you with your awareness. And this is the idea of right of watching your thoughts dispassionately and again, he calls it says, this does have a name they call it the watcher. And when I say they, it is a universal concept. I know that this is prevalent inside of Hinduism, and in mindfulness and meditation. And you the watcher merely observes, right? It is dispassionate, there’s, there’s no judgment, again, no labels assigned, you just you look at these things as their thoughts or emotions. And I learned through about that myself and headspace, right thoughts or emotions, what is it, and you don’t have to say that’s a good one or a bad one, just which one is it and be dispassionate about it. Once you begin to leverage the watcher, you will begin to feel like you are on two tracks. There’s the just kind of emotional piece where you are doing it, where you are the one doing the things, but then there’s this uncanny ability to kind of watch yourself doing these things. And it’s very interesting, right? It’s very interesting. So initially, he says, Hey, initially, you you won’t be able to hold the water for a few seconds, right? Because it’s, it’s basically like saying, the mind is like, ah, or we’re like, shut the door, I’m in the bathroom, right, it’s natural for the mind to resist the light be just kind of shoved away. And I think the other idea too, is like you’re building a new muscle, you’re building a new skill and it’s not going to be until after repetition that you’re going to be able to hold the watcher for longer periods of time. And I jotted down here too that the watcher can be seen and NLP exercises. Consider the idea of, you know, if you kind of close your eyes and you know, remove yourself one person back, take one step out of yourself. And then pretend like you’re watching yourself, when you when you remove yourself and you see yourself as here I see myself is creating this podcast saying these things and I can see my face and emotions and feel them. But I’m one step removed. And then you can do it a second time. You can say here’s the guy watching a guy who’s doing something then you can do it a third time. Here’s the guy watching a guy watching a guy watch a guy doing something and it’s kind of once you get pulled away like that far back the emotion the passion and and these kind of attached emotionally the attachment to what is happening begins to diminish and I think that’s very interesting how we’re beginning to see the merger of of these kind of East meets West the psychology energy fields and thoughts and processes. What’s even funnier is you know, here we are like NLP who does brand new, you know, thing Neuro Linguistic you know, practices and These are things that are, you know, 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of years old, that, you know, people are stumbling upon and feeling they’re brand new whereas, and primarily because they’re not familiar with Eastern philosophy or an Eastern way of thinking. They, they’re like Eureka.

So, and if you if you’ve been following along through this book, and if you’ve been following along through some of these exercises, and you’ve sincerely begun to watch your own thoughts as passionately, chances are that you have begun to see your voice of judgment kind of diminish. And it’s very interesting how you how quickly you can stop beating yourself up simply because you are you, you’ve got this, you know, you got this witness, you’ve brought somebody with you, you’ve got this observational ability that you didn’t really have before be or realize that you had before because you’ve been so attached and invested in your thoughts. Because your thoughts, they’re not man, you’ve gotten these thoughts from like the rest of the world. So they’re your thoughts. And then they make you body and your life and you feel these things. And these are my feelings. Oh, makes me so mad. Like, if you take a step back, and you’re like, well, that guy’s just getting mad because he thinks it’s these thoughts, those sayings and he’s feeling this way. But as an observer, you know, you can kind of zoom out as it were, and you can see the the, the forest right, you know, people always like you can’t see the forest because of the trees or whatever to close the tree. So it’s the same thing. We zoom out and you get to see the whole scene. And you get to detach on the video, those emotions because, you know, they’re no longer your emotions, you’re watching somebody else’s emotions. And it’s very interesting anyways. So the the witness is the friend you ought to care for and nurture more than most. I think that’s I think that’s pretty interesting one, so I’ll stop it on this one too. We fill out a little bit more to go through on chapter four.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai