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The upcoming summit that will be a launch for the membership group. Summit will be 3 days and called Sober. Soulful. Successful. and have speakers than embody these topics.The thread through all this is that we can examine our problems, our pain, our passions and find our purpose in life – which is so needed to counteract temptation to return to self-abusive lifestyle. My getting clear on our intrinsic motivation, we can ask ourselves, “What is more important right now- immediate satisfaction or long term gratification?”So many people are working poor. Plus, they are doing a job that they hate. When we get clear on our highest values, surround ourselves with people who share these same values, live in alignment with self evident principles, we can get clarity and confidence to be more like the person we were born to be – (which is an internal state of being) We were not born to have anxiety, burnout, regrets, resentments and shame. Get those head trips less important to you and you will easily recognize what makes you come alive and the you will do it!

Head on over to https://www.aattitudeofgratitude.com/about/aags-founder/ to find out more about Randy Hyden

Transcription by otter.ai

Unknown Speaker 0:00
Your journey has been an interesting one to hear. You’ve questioned so much more than those around you. You’ve even questioned yourself as to how you could have grown into these thoughts. Am I crazy? When did I begin to think differently? Why do people in general You’re so limited in a thought process for sure. You are not alone. The world is slowly waking up to what you already know inside get can’t quite verbalize. Welcome to the spiritual dough podcast to show the answers the questions you never even knew to ask, but knew the answers to questions about you. This world the people in it? Most importantly, how do I proceed? Now moving forward? We don’t have to have all the answers, but we sure do love living in the question. Time for another head of spiritual dub with your host, Brandon Handley. Let’s get right into today’s episode.

Brandon Handley 0:43
For three, actually, how do I pronounce your last name?

Unknown Speaker 0:47
heighten?

Brandon Handley 0:48
tiden? Okay, Randy hyden. Right. Yeah, good. Yeah, I can’t tell you the number of times I put your somebody’s name by accent then can I got it? So just make that a practice of asking before we get going cold everything but a gentleman. Fair enough. Fair enough. 54321. Hey, there, spirituals open. Thanks for tuning in to another interview episode I am on today with Randy hyden. He is the creator of attitude for gratitude flow. And he’s coming up to you with a new summit. That’s going to be three days. That’s called sober soulful and successful. I used to have speakers that embody these topics. And, you know, Randy, and I connected kind of in some odd areas. And I haven’t told Randy this yet. But Randy was brand new saying like everything that was on my mind. And like Facebook and posts, I was like, man, I gotta get to know this guy. And we did Connect. And so that’s pretty much the genesis of how we got john here today. Randy, did you know that I was talking? I was like, you’re just saying everything on my mind?

Randy Hyden 2:02
Well, I find humor in that because I recognize that you were what you were posting was like, so I don’t know, maybe? Maybe we’re the same person in two different dimensions.

Brandon Handley 2:14
Well, I mean, I think that that’s interesting, though, too, right? We just we have the same kind of the same things kind of on our hearts, and we’re sharing them out there with the public. And I think that that’s a I think that’s neat. Um, you know, just kind of, uh, you know, that everybody talks about vive and are resonating. And there you go, right. We’re like two different tuning forks on the opposite side of the country.

Randy Hyden 2:34
Yeah, it is cool. Yeah. Because there’s, you know, we read about this stuff, but until you actually experienced it, it’s all concept. For sure, for sure. is very real.

Brandon Handley 2:45
Yeah, absolutely. So I like to start these off Randy, with the idea that you and I are vessels for creative energy, God universe, whatever you want to say. And that, you know, there’s a message coming through you for somebody listening to this podcast today. And it can only be delivered through you. So what’s that message?

Unknown Speaker 3:10
Uh,

Randy Hyden 3:13
well, the theme for all the groups with the summit and the free membership group and Facebook and the paid membership group flow, is to be more like the person you were born to be. May I explain how I came to that message?

Brandon Handley 3:32
Absolutely pleased to. Okay,

Randy Hyden 3:34
so because our listeners may not know, I am 13 years sober. Coming up next week will be 14 years sober. And so that’s, that’s something I’m very proud of. Especially because what I was new, like many people in the first year of sobriety was a day by day sometimes by an hour by hour proposition. And during those difficulties, gentleman who eventually became my sponsor, mentor, Bob, he, he told me it goes, if you hang around and do this thing, eventually you’ll be more like the person you were born to be. Actually, if they could get it since this crowd is okay with the word God, he actually said, you’d be more like the person God made you to be and get the goosebumps right now. And so that was the promise I held on to in the beginning. And frankly, I still I hang my hat on that. In the beginning, I had no idea I used to pray God provide all that’s needed and move what’s not for me to be more like the person you made me to be. I’ve said that prayer, or some form of it countless times, hundreds of times, maybe maybe over 1000 times. I’ve prayed prayed that. And up until recently, I had no idea what the heck that was. And honestly, on the outside, I still don’t even know what it is. But on the inside within me what I carry with me, I believe that none of us were ever created to carry around anxiety. We’re not meant to be burned out. Regret, resentment, and most of all shame. I do it, perhaps I’m just some kooky guy. Well, I am kooky guy. But again, maybe this this is is only something that I just carry with me. But I really truly believe in everything I want to bring out as messages. And so it’s we were never made to carry around the shame that we do. So that’s what the intention is, again, long, a lot of letters and words and in such a cut out that to reinforce what I mean by to be more like the person you were born to be? No, I

Brandon Handley 5:47
mean, I look, I love that, right. And I think that, um, you know, what you’re speaking to is really, what happens somewhere along the journey. And maybe not to everybody, but to more people than we’re aware of, because you’re talking about this. I, you said you didn’t realize what this meant, until more recently, right. And it’s not something that’s easy for you to put into words. But it’s a more than a feeling, right? It’s more than a feeling. And, and as you and I connected, you can kind of tell who’s in that space. Right? So why don’t you talk to me a little bit about what that space? Where would you be comfortable with calling? I mean, I don’t think the you know, awakening, maybe not your term. Nor is like, you know, finding your true self? or How would you describe it for somebody that’s curious about what that means to you?

Randy Hyden 6:50
Well, thank you. Because honestly, that’s been part of my challenges. This thing’s been percolating in me for years. But trying to talk about something that, again, as I mentioned, I don’t even really fully understand, I just know, I have a thing about me right now where I could move with a lot less resistance. You know, my intention is to experience and express inspiration. So others may do the same in their own unique way. And together, and we make the world a little better place. With that intention, I I don’t sweat things like I used to. I give myself a lot more room to be imperfect. And that’s, like, 1000 miles away where I was 14 years ago. But even then, again, he’s progressing. And yeah, you know, we try to, you know, talk about things that no, it’s like, joked around about us, you know, frequencies and then the, and maybe we’re the same person in two different dimensions and stuff. I mean, it’s all concepts. It’s all words, it’s, we’re trying to communicate something that really truly, it’s difficult, if not impossible to communicate, but when it’s experienced. You can you can talk about love in such earlier. Oh my gosh, yeah, I remember my best friend, he fell in love before I did. And I saw the change. His girlfriend was a friend also, as well, we hung around a lot. And I saw the change in both of them. And I thought it was the coolest thing. Really, really happy for both of them. But I you know, I had no idea what love was until I fell in love. That makes sense

Brandon Handley 8:42
that absolutely absolutely right. Again, these are these are things that these are things I always joke about the the idea of, if you would have told me maybe three or four years ago that I’d be doing this spiritual dope, personal, personal development space, and all these other things I might have punched in the face, Randy, I might not have been to because you look like you punch me back. And I might get fucked up. But the whole, the whole idea is that there’s no way that I would have found myself in this space until I you know, went through the space. And then you hear people always saying, trust the process. I’m like, now like, trust the process. Right? It has, you know, that has meaning now, whereas before, it had not

Randy Hyden 9:30
zactly Exactly. And of course, we all assign meaning to everything every moment, consciously and unconsciously. And naturally, how I’m going to view the meaning of our time together is going to be different from here then we could both say, we appreciate sharing some of your day together. We appreciate the listeners, you know peeking in on this conversation is But what exactly that looks like what that feels like and stuff. It’s very unique and it’s very personal. But again, something like gratitude or appreciation. Thanksgiving and stuff is a universal concept it is seems to be something that’s wired into all of us. But until you experience it, but I laugh I laugh so hard when you talked about punching somebody in the face. Yeah. When I, I surrendered. If somebody had told me you’re in exactly the right place you need to be. People may have heard that saying as well. Right? I sure is anything. Yeah, gotten violent. But now looking back at it and stuff. I yeah, I’ve said it countless times. And I tried to be a little mindful about that. You know, which is another thing, Mike. Mindfulness, what a word that gets thrown around all the time. And it’s, it’s very personal, it can mean different things for now. Yeah. 100%. Right, to to listen to people in a way to understand when I’m making a statement, whether that’s going to be something that’s possible for them to chew on

Brandon Handley 11:02
the right, I mean, that that talks to the whole idea of, you know, kind of talking to people where they are.

Randy Hyden 11:08
So, so how I get there,

Brandon Handley 11:10
I listen, I’m not

Randy Hyden 11:13
really been a challenge with we’ve tried to put some messaging out there, which means like marketing, and branding, and all this kind of kind of stuff, bringing this out. But you know,

Brandon Handley 11:22
I want to pause there for a second. Right, Randy, can we I think I think that marketing and branding. First for many, and even even, like, as you’re talking about it, it’s kind of like dismissing it for a second. But all you’re really trying to do and correct me if I’m wrong is, you know, share out something that could truly benefit some people and highlight some just amazing things that you know, could theoretically, PR your experience, bring people to a great place. Right. So I mean, if you’re using marketing and branding, and then again, you know, we we met through, I think James Gaffney, Jimbo, Uncle Jimbo. And, you know, his idea of branding is branding is your promise. Right? And so if you’re what you know, is sticking with that for a second, you know, as you’re doing your marketing and your branding for your school over here, again, just read it because I have a short term memory today, silver, soulful, successful attitude of gratitude and flow. What is your branding? What is your promise to these people that they can hang out?

Randy Hyden 12:32
Well, you know, I touched on it earlier, but it’s, it’s great that, you know, can we bring up uncle Jimbo? Because going through his class really helped me understand that. Just be yourself. And, and when you get back to words, like authentic, we’re being authentic, the people will get, they’ll dig it, and they’ll hang out with you, and maybe even spend a little bit of money and stuff and those that don’t dig you, they gonna hang around very long and don’t sweat it. Again, you’re just trying to manufacture it. Frankly, I was a big part of why I was miserable. I was using drugs all the time, I was trying to create this persona that people would like, so I could fit in. And I wasn’t true to myself. And consciously and subconsciously, I really hated who I become. It’s phony. It wasn’t true to myself. But then it was really scary that if I did share who I was, maybe things go from bad for worse. So I just kind of bounced against the walls, sometimes literally, but metaphorically and stuff. I was trying to navigate my way and then it was just kind of the whole stuff is Hey, man, you know, just stop trying so damn hard.

Brandon Handley 13:51
Yeah,

Randy Hyden 13:52
yeah, yourself. And that’s a funny thing. Oh, it winds up being probably better than I ever the persona I ever tried to manufacture. But yeah, James was huge. And after that,

Brandon Handley 14:05
yeah, no, I mean, that, you know, not for nothing. The course that course is, you know, for 100 bucks, top notch. I’m not trying to send people there, but I am at the same time. Like, I mean, go check that out. If you’re going to check out a marketing course go check that one out. Where would you say, you know, the, you know, you’ve gone through a transition, right? You’ve gone through a shift. And Wayne Dyer has a movie called The shift. Have you ever seen it?

Randy Hyden 14:33
No. But I love windows, everything that I have, you know, consumed has been beneficial. So you’re mentioning I’m going to stick it out? Yeah, so

Brandon Handley 14:43
absolutely. And in the in the movie talks about men going through the the shift, quote unquote, right? It’s around a certain age bracket. You and I are both in it. But it talks about the change of you know Have your attention, right? What do you focus on? Right? Do you were talking about being focused kind of like on the person you were supposed to be for everybody else? And maybe some things that weren’t so beneficial. And into maybe spirituality and discovering your sense of self? Is that make sense?

Randy Hyden 15:23
Oh, yeah, yeah. So what I’m hearing you mentioned about is what some people refer to as the first half and second half of life. Sure, okay, existential, an existential crisis type of thing. You know, and my understanding of it is, it’s not necessarily something that is chronological, or, you know, it’s based upon how many years you are, but it does commonly happen around the 40s area. Because we’ve gone through the process of establishing our identity, doing the things that we need to do with the egos really serving its purpose, you know, how do we dominate to get the mate? You know, the career, you know, how do we, how do we do all these things to create something that we could call security. But eventually, there comes a moment of clarity. And usually that comes through crisis, where you start realizing the paradigms that one serves, you are no longer beneficial.

Brandon Handley 16:24
Yeah. What do you think?

Randy Hyden 16:26
What your view is, though

Brandon Handley 16:28
it? Where do you where say, when? Or what was the situation you feel? You might have crossed the rat threshold?

Randy Hyden 16:36
Well, it’s I’m 56. So I got sober when I was 43. And,

Brandon Handley 16:42
yes, okay, with sobriety for you. Is that what you’re saying?

Randy Hyden 16:44
Yeah, so sobriety, there is the case, you know, and, yeah, it’s so personal. I was in the middle of a fog and lots of confusion, lots of overwhelm happening. It’s hard to really, you know, try to be definitive and objective about my experience. But that’s part of the thing that’s really good. When you’re in the 12. If anyone’s familiar with 12 step programs, the pay it forward paradigm, no one else who’s suffering how you once did, you process your pain, you’ve gone through a lot of problems, and you found a passion. And you want to pay it forward, you would like to help others. And as I’ve had those opportunities, I’ve been able to see myself time and time again, and go, Oh, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that’s just like, if anybody is, again, if you haven’t experienced, but you’ve heard of these concepts. It may not necessarily be resonating with you, but anybody who’s gone through it, the when we talk about how I’ve received more than I that I’ve ever given, or, I mean, these people, well, the first time I ever, ever sponsored a guy, I asked my friend Alan, who eventually became my sponsor. And hey, Tony wants me to sponsor, and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t even gone through the 12 steps myself, which again, is gone through this proc official process. I’m like, What am I going to do? And, and Alan just smiled. And he just goes, how you may be able to help Tony may not I don’t know how it goes, but I’m positive. Tony will help you. Wow. And that was enough for me to smile like you did and move forward and work with Tony. And yeah, yeah, I hope I helped him a little bit. But I know for sure without a doubt that that’s been a first person than every other man since then, like from greatly and have to give credit the thing of expanding upon this to this these things flow, attitude of gratitude, the summit called you know, sober, soulful, successful, is to have a more than just Randy talking about this, but having many voices, in their own words, their own emphasis, talking about the similar thing. So we can help other people maybe experience in in their own unique way, this inspiration that comes when you’re, when you’re present in the moment with another person. And you’re some people call it active listening. I call it listening without opinion, but being really present, right? And there’s something that happens, my guess is that it’s kind of like an end run around my ego. So why ego still present all the chaos and confusion, the scrimmage is going on in front of me. And somehow I snuck around the side got in the goal line. thing, for sure. My soul has been trying to tell me but there was too much noise in my head, you know that. We have these voices in our head, you know, the Buddhists call the monkey mind and stuff. And it’s, it’s like if you and I if I was talking over all the time, I’d never be able to hear you, right. So again, I go All these voices in my head when I can get into the state, and it’s just like a meditation, I’ll focus on my breathing and stuff, but I will really listen to it. And I could, maybe there still every now and then some poo get flung around in the monkey mind. But all in all, there’s enough quiet that that I’m hearing something then I need to hear. And that’s what I mean by experiencing inspiration. That’s something that makes me just, I don’t know, people out of my life,

Brandon Handley 20:31
I’m sure. You know, let’s talk for just a second I mean is it is it sobriety you you feel or sobriety you feel that in of itself, or this connection to source type of thing connection to a higher power and this? This is? Quite honestly, this is why you get your head, the tagline of spiritual dope, right? Is that spiritual high? Right, of that life high? And I think you just you just said that. So we, what is that for us? Is again, is it? Is it the spiritual high that kind of keeps you going that keeps you sober? Or is it the sobriety that led you there? Right? Or is it kind of chicken in the egg? Right? Yeah,

Randy Hyden 21:18
it’s it’s, you know, maybe so maybe no, it’s not dualistic thinking, however, I get, I came to this spiritual way of life, not by virtue, but circumstance. The 12 step is teaching you that get there are some disciplines and some actions to practice daily. For myself, I grew many times through the day of getting just getting centered. asking myself What’s more, what’s really important right now, what’s really happening, I’m just taking the 10 deep breaths, it’s just when I I’ll just, I’m just again, this is my mindfulness, I realized, I’m, I’m either dwelling in the past or projecting in the future, I’m not present in furniture, usually, when I’m catching it is because I’m just not at peace, I’m just kind of a little irritated and stuff. And because I’ve done enough times, being I’ve experienced what it is to have some common peace. I could notice when it’s been disruptive, before, it was just basically, dumb obedience, you know, which, again, you got to do this type of stuff, right? Want to get back to being restless, irritable, discontent, and, you know, needing to use the drugs and alcohol to supply what’s needed to find some kind of peace. I think a lot I feel a lot and with people, in addictions, in the spiritual ways, are a way to be able to still dance with those demons. And and Yeah, well, Karl yune, integration, work and all that kind of stuff. That’s, it’s not talked about in that way. But there’s methodologies in the 12 step program. It’s the personal inventory is getting clarity and confirmation all those causes and conditions that brought you to this point in life. Right? And without trying to go through all with what processes yet you everybody I’ve known that’s gone through that has a huge epiphany. For myself, the first time I did it,

Brandon Handley 23:23
decided the inventory.

Unknown Speaker 23:25
Yeah. Well, I

Brandon Handley 23:25
wanted to pause for one second that Randy because you mentioned a pretty good, a pretty good mindfulness habit that you’ve got. And kind of how to recognize, recognize when you’re out of out of peace, you said, right, when you’re not at peace, if you don’t mind, just talking about what that is, again, because one of the things that we’d like to be able to share here is, you know, practical application of this stuff, right? Not just all theory, like, you know, so sounded like you said, you know, if you find that you’re, you know, kind of your monkey mind stirring up or you’re, you’re finding some type of irritation you take you, you know, at that point in time that you are either living in the past or the future, and you take 10 centering breaths, is that what you do? Yeah, yeah. expand on that at all

Randy Hyden 24:16
right? Take the breath. So I’ll kind of ask myself, like, okay, what’s happening right now? Just take a few breaths, and just focus on you know, like a meditation, the cool air going in warmer air going out? And, yeah, then the answer comes to me, which again, is the point right now I’m actually kind of concerned because I’ve concluded countless times that it’s either fear or it’s love what’s going on, and again, if I’m out of peace, it’s some kind of fear. Because I, frankly, I use the word anxiety because people don’t like to talk about they’ve got fears and stuff. Sure. But the past is, you know, naturally leans more towards the word of regret. But yeah, fear that I won’t have something I prefer desire and lose something then I’m attached to, right? Um, you know, or my bullshit is going to get found out. Do ones that come up countless times, right? So being rigorously honest, minimizes the bullshit that’s going to get found out, right? And then understanding also, frankly, it’s all bullshit. Right? I know, myself, I don’t take it that seriously. And if you laugh at me, and you try to insult me and stuff, again, I just kind of frame it all up with that same way. It’s like, yep, you’re right, you know, thing.

Brandon Handley 25:38
Right? Right.

Randy Hyden 25:39
But if there’s someone that I really am kind of attached to their opinion of me, we get typically I’m not conscious of that. Right? I respect you, Brandon, if you were to say something that may or may not have been designed to twist the knife, right? I felt a little Sting, say something, right? And sold or whatever. And it doesn’t mean it was intended to be that way, if I interpret it, is that that’s one of those disruptions? Yeah, no, I

Brandon Handley 26:09
and I love that you brought that up, I experienced that recently, myself, you know. And through these mindfulness practices, though, that you and I are talking about, I was able to, I was able to pinpoint, and I was like, Wait a second. You know, I’ve attached like an authority to this person, I’ve, I’ve given this something that I mean, that’s quite literally what I’ve done. I’ve given him power over me, right? whereas he has none. Right? And able to just to just notice it. And also notice, too, that could just be simply my interpretation of, like you said, my own bullshit, right? And just kind of, you know, being able to identify it and let it go.

Randy Hyden 26:54
Right, right. So again, that’s the thing is you can win. In that hypothetical situation, again, where I feel the same thing. That’s when I would first ask myself, you know, also just kind of, I didn’t feel good for myself, a lot of my, my attention gets around the neck and shoulders areas, everybody has it in some people in the gut and stuff, but you know, I feel this and it’s just like, okay, I asked, okay, what’s going on right now? Take a deep breath. Me, you know, get sometimes 10 sometimes it doesn’t take that many and stuff. And it’s just yeah, Allison identify? Well, I have put myself beneath Brandon. Right, right. Right. Right. Yeah. Okay. And then I can do it repeat over it a couple times. And it’s, it’s amazing ones becomes practice. Yeah, you just did. I can. Sometimes it’s, it’s less than 10 seconds. I’m back centered. stuff. And if I don’t have to do as deep of a inquiry into the situation,

Brandon Handley 27:51
right? What would that inquiry look like for you? Um, if you if you put me above you, what would that inquiry look like?

Randy Hyden 27:58
Thanks. That’s a great question. So it is I would think a lot, it would just be good. a million questions, you know, is, why am I doing this again, it would default much more to again, kind of the self loathing type of stuff. What the hell do I think he’s so great. Oh, my God, I embarrass myself this show. Listen, that, you know, it’s I think a lot of people have had moments.

Brandon Handley 28:22
Absolutely. You know, that’s why I think that this is this is, this is very helpful for for someone who hasn’t found that yet, or hasn’t identified it yet. As you and I are talking and as like I said, I just realized I did this just a couple weeks ago. You know, I was I taken a course where, you know, you were taught to identify whether or not you put someone above or below you, right, and really, no one is above or below you. But sometimes you do it by accident, right? Sometimes mentally, you just don’t recognize it. And it wasn’t, it wasn’t until recently that it did a little click right and like, Oh my God, that’s what just happened. So my hope is that if you know if you’re listening today, and you hear Randy talking about this, that this is something that if someone has pissed you off, if you feel hurt by someone, the good idea to ask the question, you know, where where have you positioned them in your life so that they could do so?

Randy Hyden 29:23
Yeah, yeah. And again, mature shorthand of that is what’s really important right now.

Brandon Handley 29:27
Yeah, I love that.

Unknown Speaker 29:28
Yeah. Yeah.

Randy Hyden 29:31
It call it intuition subconscious, God, universe, whatever it is. There’s this small still voice that it began if I make space for it will remind me Oh, yeah. You think you’re above bread? Oh, you think you’re below four grand? And it’s just, it’s good. I don’t have to discuss it much more than that. It’s like, Oh, that’s what’s going on. Right now. We’re again in the past I would have turned this into, like 1000 word essay in between my ears. and stuff and then right you know, but yeah concluding is like okay so all that stuff is fear and really truly when I can take that and make that a whole lot less important again I’m not trying to present myself as some kind of guy that’s got it all figured out guru whatever I’m just sharing techniques and tips that have covered be a lot less alcoholic whatever behavior I exhibited when I was alcoholic I mean there’s a thing in the in the rooms if anybody’s in recovery you’ll hear a phrase called dry drunk talking about is you’re still thinking and feel the same way as when you were drinking you just have accidents going on. There’s no entity in that person’s wife. I mean no bullshit. The been in meetings where people told people to go get drunk. Wow. Because the egos you need to go get drunk right now. And, and not like it like one person would say and then would kind of echoed around the room because that person was just so far from peace. Now that I know some people might think that’s crazy. And all those kind of stuff my shirt and did happen reffer I remember exactly that day we were I was sitting in around the tables. But yeah, I mean, again, that’s just that kind of person where it’s just basically it’s it’s a knee jerk reaction to somebody being so aggressive and lashing out at everybody and stuff. That almost kind of retaliating in a way that could be interpreted as revenge, or at this time, it’s like, dude, oh, just go get drunk, man. Get out of this meeting. I don’t care if I ever see you again, kind of stuff out extreme and this person was proclaiming? I have no reason to doubt it like 30 some years of sobriety. Wow, good 30 years that you’ve been abstinent, but apparently you’ve never gone through and done one or two that we’re touching on here to try to diminish and minimize that. That and, but also want people to know that. You don’t have to necessarily have gonna say things extreme. Right? The chaos, the confusion, all that kind of stuff that addicts and alcoholics are getting the bottom. Right. You can it’s just human condition. Yeah, we’re getting we’re indoctrinated with a worldview around us. We’re here. We’re in North America, we’re materialists, we’re consumers and such. The media the messages that come around, you know, whether it’s through the official propaganda or the how that those messages are repeated, or, you know, in our, in our workplaces, around our homes and stuff, you know, we start adapting these things that didn’t work enough that we continue on with, you know, how does, how does this continue? Because there’s a little bit of usefulness.

Brandon Handley 32:55
Sure, sure.

Unknown Speaker 32:57
Enough in it,

Randy Hyden 32:58
the bonding, we have the commonality and stuff that but yeah, but in again, is it? It’s so difficult for me to say any other time than that, you know, just for a milestone of my sobriety date, November 6 2006. For me, too, because that was the first day Frankly, I think up until then, for last I don’t know how long because again, it’s just a blur. I didn’t care if I lived or die. Sure. And and suddenly, I didn’t care. Oh, you know, they they talked about, like divine intervention and stuff. I explained it any other way. Yeah, that was perfect buddy. Who goes on for years. And again, some days wishing I was dead. Just really? Don’t think it’s also now everything changed. Like that kind of stuff. But just the door cracked open enough. Also, and I was considering that. Yeah, you know, everything I desire. Anything I could commit to my education, my health, my career, my marriage. Anything that I could consider that I would commit to to try to make better was I school when I’m getting blackout drunk every night?

Brandon Handley 34:10
Yes. Not easy.

Randy Hyden 34:12
And, and that was the instead of the typical, okay, big deal. Now, it it bothered me.

Brandon Handley 34:20
Yeah,

Randy Hyden 34:20
I was like, man, maybe you really should stop doing this. And and that conclusion came it was just in the workplace. It was just a team building exercise, go around the table. Everybody around the table, identify somebody they respect that they you know, admire. And then the second rotation around the table was what characteristic does that person possess that you wish you possess more of? Right, render out Eric bepro best man at my wedding. So yeah. Um, Eric is a third degree black belt. He is a master technician for Nissan and Infiniti, Toyota and Lexus IS A GREAT dad, great musician. I mean, he’s the guy who, man if if he puts his mind to it, he does it. Right. First Response, I named him and I was going around thinking my head what my answer would be, I was gonna say discipline. But I realized the source of Eric’s discipline is commitment. Right? So again, when Eric makes a commitment, he honors it by his actions. Wow,

Brandon Handley 35:27
Dad love that. I love that

Randy Hyden 35:28
demonstrated that for me. And I knew, because we’re friends and such that this was something that was not like trying to, I don’t know, figure out how to do a manned spaceflight to Mars or something, right? You know, my friends can do it, then maybe I can do it. And he didn’t know at that point in time, we were two different. He’s in Las Vegas, I was in Southern California. So it wasn’t like we’re hanging around all the time. But again, somebody had demonstrated to me what it was like to be a man who could make commitments and be disciplined enough to achieve his goals in life. And therefore, you know, it wasn’t like, I don’t know, watching some movie where you know, you’re, you’re inspired by the hero and the story and all that kind of stuff. It wasn’t fictional. It was, it was very, very true. And, yeah, so that’s very powerful. And I, again, that happened over and over this last 14 years of people I would meet men I would meet, they would would have something that I wish I had a little bit more of. And I was very fortunate. The Psychology of this is that it’s kind of Shadow Work. What we are attracted to, is something we possess in ourselves. But now, some people may have also heard it referred to and can spot it, you got it in negative form. Absolutely. So those that those people that do things that annoy us, we find unattractive, that’s something we’re carrying in our shadow. So again, another practical tip, when I find someone who’s behaving in a manner that again, I can proclaim them to be a jerk. And write that, um, that’s a moment for me to reflect and it’s like going, how am I like that person? Right? Or, you know, so? Oh, yeah. And I can be a little more again, back to mindful I can just be conscious of the fact that I don’t want to be loud, rude, obnoxious, but I’m gonna dominant. an egomaniac with an inferiority complex was raised. Not sure. I don’t want to move through life. Okay, ready? Is it important enough for you to do something about it? Yeah. So again, having a mentor, a person that I admired, and something that I wished I could have more of, in, that they possess in their character? Yep, they could give me some tips, some techniques, couple, you know, shortcuts to how to say that I wouldn’t have to necessarily take as much trial and error process to figure out how to do this. And again, it’s always simple. You want to be more honest. Okay, just be more honest.

Brandon Handley 38:13
Right? It doesn’t have to be complicated. Now. One of the things you know, we do here spiritual dope is we talk about, you know, how do you take these, these kind of their revelations and usually, you know, just does what they are the kind of revelations of epiphanies and new ways of being and integrate that into your daily life. And what I want to read a little bit about what you put in what you put in information that is shared with me here is you know, what, what is more important right now immediate satisfaction or long term gratification, but this other piece really kind of stood out to me as well as so many people are working poor, plus, they’re doing a job they hate, we get clear on our highest values surround ourselves with people who share the same values, live in alignment with self evident principles, we can get clarity and confidence to be more like the person we were born to be. Which is an internal stuff I’m just going to finish read it because it’s really great and you know, touched me when I read it is an internal state of being we were not born to have anxiety, burnout, regrets, resentment and shame. That’s what’s covered in the beginning. I get those headshots less important to you, and you will easily recognize what makes you come alive and and then you will do it, then, you know. So, again, you know, how that feels good to say. Feels good to feel, you know, it feels good to read. What are some ways that you can suggest to people to apply it?

Randy Hyden 39:44
Well, first, thank you for sharing that. I know those are my words. When you read them. I’m like, Yeah, I did write that. Honestly, man is I’ve been talking about I’ve retained, I don’t know, 20% of that. But what I know when that was written it was very much Begin about just getting clear what’s important right now getting centered, and then float out.

Brandon Handley 40:05
That’s great.

Randy Hyden 40:06
And, and yeah, I’m just gonna go, that’s good, man.

Brandon Handley 40:11
That’s great. I mean, again, like, like I said in the beginning of the podcast, right, you know, something, we’re vessels for we’re vessels for creative energy, right? where, you know, if we look at God as the creator, were made his image, then we’re creators, two or four attached to God, Gods with him as well, you know, all one, then again, we are creators, we are vessels for creative creativity. You know, whatever that looks like to you is one thing or another. But when you communicate, and you and you share something out the way that you wrote there, that’s, you know, that’s truth flowing through you. And that you’re, you’re you’re needing to share with others. Right. And that’s, that is a creation in my mind.

Randy Hyden 40:53
Yeah, so they get so as I joked around and said, it’s like, it’s all bullshit and stuff, you know, a person just trying to be light hearted. But on the other hand, yeah, when you talk about truth, yeah, when I can get in that, quote, unquote, spiritual state, which, whatever that is, I’m no monk.

Brandon Handley 41:14
It’s a surrender state, right?

Randy Hyden 41:16
It’s a state of surrender. Again, it’s just again, the practice is just I do my breathing. I’m letting the noise in my head, dissipate in just calm down. And this just comes through. And it’s like, I’m collaborating with God. And it’s, this it comes back. I’ve said it already before a couple times, in stuff is. In fact, you have lots of words right now you just really can’t describe this you have to experience and it’s amazing. And it’s, it’s like life is better than you could ever ask for even even imagined. And, yeah, so therefore, again, default, you know, otters at god okay? I’m some some guests on my guest forgot, you know, kind of thing. I don’t, I don’t think I’ve had that many just flukes in my life. They’re just dumb luck, dude, something came out of you. And in fact, we haven’t really talked about this other thing. I’ve got a collection of writings when I went through my going to talk about my friend Alan and him eventually becoming my sponsor, Alan had I don’t know what it was an aneurism or what exactly it was. But basically it was were a spinal cord went to his brain, it exploded where the to attack. And yeah, and I was overly dependent super codependent on this man. Right? He couldn’t talk, he was doing care and all this kind of stuff. I mean, it was a major thing. It took him probably eight months before he could even like point at letters, spelling things, things out. And because I was so relying upon him to process things that were percolating in my head. I was very fortunate, a mutual friend suggested start journaling. So I’ve Frankly, I got a collection of a bunch of stuff that I would read to my wife. Similar you just read that to me, and she’d come back was she goes, did you write that? I talked to you every day and you don’t talk like that stuff. But it was again it was not by virtue but circumstance that I was processing shit that had to come out. And and because my ego my wind and stuff, trying to discern whether this was something that is politically correct, or you know, is appropriate for for this conversation and stuff and get my being so much in my head, and instead trying to find some balance between the head and the heart stuff coming out that all Yeah, you know, this is where I guess this is like a lot of my low self esteem. And think I wasn’t capable, I wasn’t worthy of really being the man that against that I aspired to be also and it’s just like, dude, you’re you’re not as big of a piece of shit as you think you are. I you know, counteract that I did get through my grandiosity and I had to get my moments of humility to come back. And when I was good about man, it’s like I am either. Not right of it. I think it’s the pendulum still rocks back and forth with those 100% but it’s not as far and therefore it’s not as long and there’s, there’s a lot more time where I can be centered, I can be in alignment. And I know I’m really grateful that I’m still alive.

Brandon Handley 44:39
Yeah,

Randy Hyden 44:40
I’m old. For some people. It’s just again, just, you know, start going against it as you get older. But yeah, we all went at it pretty hard. When we were younger. I was no longer here and Alan died a sober man, but there were two other guys. He was smoking. When I was around mark, Marty and Tim, and I was envious of them, they hadn’t made the progress they had had had the spiritual awakening before. I did. I wanted that and stuff. And for whatever reason, it didn’t seem to stick with that. Of the four core of us. I’m the only one who’s still on this planet. Wow. Yeah. Well, I mean, I know why they’re gone and why I’m still here. But my back to guessing and in such is I think this recovery was not just for me, either. There’s a big reason to my motivation behind this one, as you know, was instilled upon me, and it’s out of gratitude. Have men helped me that I want to help people, this law of reciprocity. But yeah, I shares we’re talking right now, Brandon, everything that I’m doing right now, is is is my desire to share freely as it was freely given to me the opportunity to see these principles to see these processes, but basically, the principles and process of a 12 step thing is a 12. is no one’s ever heard the 12 step before. The 12 step is having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps. We practice these principles in all airfares, and try to help the person who’s still suffering.

Brandon Handley 46:15
Not I mean, look, I love that right. I definitely love that. Well, let’s, let’s let’s um, you know, let’s we’re winding down, I want to just give the opportunity for you to chat a little bit about what people can expect and when we can expect the sober, soulful, successful summit.

Randy Hyden 46:34
I should be better prepared. I don’t have the exact dates. We’ll call it middle middle of January. Okay. So yeah, very, very grateful for this at that. Yeah, I just kind of popped into some Facebook groups and stuff. And some people I’ve known over the years, I have like 30 people that want to be presenters. Wow. At this, it’s, it’s amazing. Yeah, we’ll kind of see how as things progress, who loses interest and this stuff. Um, but yeah, so basically, again, with if you’ve ever been to a music festival, and over three days, and each day, there’s the headliner. And then you have the supporting acts. So if you can figure One day, the like the Friday would be super. And the headliner for the second day, it’s so full. And then the third, third day successful. Now, again, these all are part of a fabric they all intertwine, and again, these people I envisioning, and where they could probably get plugged in on any day, but it’s their presentation. It’s their moment, I’m really just facilitating, then the opportunity presented to an audience we’re going to have. But yeah, if you could imagine you go to a concert, you want to see the headlining band, but you heard one of the opening acts, and you’ve never heard of them before. But after their performance, after what they share, you go, oh my god, I want all the records now. And now I go through there, and they hear something that they want, and then they’d like more of it. Well, they’ll be kind of like, what we’re doing right now is, tell me a little bit more if they want, want to connect with you. But also, that’s where this flow community is all these presenters and more, we’re gonna have like 30 people, or more, my intention is even more in the community that have gone through the problems, and they’ve gone through their pains, they’ve processed the trauma, but also got clarity on their passion, what they’re being drawn towards, and, and basically wanting to pay it forward in this in this online community called flow state of being present in the state of flow. And I’m really, really excited because again, the premise is that, you know, somebody might did what I say, and we can connect, and we can have something that again, it’s hard to describe, but maybe not. And again, that’s Genesis a quad like something that you present somebody who could connect with what you you’re sharing your language, your emphasis more so than me, and that’s fine. So again, we’re just kind of stacking the debt, we’re increasing the odds, if somebody comes in there, and like myself, I didn’t know what was going on, I just knew I was miserable. You come in there, it’s a place of respect, kindness, you know, and, and it can, one of the ground rules will be if you want to, you got to vent there’ll be a section or called Get it off your chest. Like, you got to vent and stuff, but you can’t. You can’t do the stuff you see in social media, people make it if I disagree with you, and stuff, then I’m going to try to win the argument in a Facebook post and stuff and persuade you to think the same way I have this right. You know, hey, if you want that, hey, there’s this thing called Facebook. But if you’d like to have a situation where you’re connecting with other people that are on this path of again, Randy, let’s be clear, real quick. you’re developing this platform off of Facebook then as well right so flow is outside of Facebook, and In its own community, is that correct? Yeah, yeah, it’s on the circle platform, it’ll be developing will be launched that will be in the next 30 days, because what I want to do is have something going on. So when the summit happens, and people want to go to it, there’s already people instead of a ghost town.

Brandon Handley 50:16
I got a question for you though, too. I mean, could you know, you know, do you, do you feel now two things one, do? Can you imagine, you know, 13 years ago and seeing yourself do this now, that’s one and two, you know, a big part of what it sounds like you’re doing is, you know, you’re, you talked about it early on, you know, cheese here, you’re moving with less resistance, you’re moving with purpose and intention. Sounds like you’re trying to and you really are. Serve something greater than yourself.

Randy Hyden 50:50
Yes. Thanks for recognizing it’s cool. It’s, it’s a good compliment. I like that. Yes, I am intentional on that. And in regards to the first part of the question. Yeah, I used to say what I get I do have a Judeo Christian, you know, basis for my view. But yeah, I would talk to people and say, Look, I could sit across the table from Jesus Christ. And I know for sure, this is us. And then we can substitute Buddha whoever or whoever and kind of stuff. But this divine person pretty much got it all figured out and knows who I am and can say, hey, yeah, 13 years down the road, Randy, this this and this is going to happen for you. And I’d be like, you know, dude, I heard every word you said. But you’re gonna have to repeat it back because as far as I’m concerned, you got me confused with some other Randy dude. Right? Right. This is not me, right. But yeah, now that you can back to the incoming into we’ve got to experience once we go through this stuff. Yeah, my confidence is my clarity is increasing or getting sharper. My confidence levels are rising that I can practice imperfect action. And which I one thing here real quick. So in that again, the it church, the pastor de Brisbane, another mentor of mine, and such. He was talking about how the Hebrew culture 2000 years ago, the time time the Jew, Jesus walked around their concept of the Word Perfect, met, lacking nothing. So again, Randy, most of the time up until he shared that with me, perfect was getting my way. You know, I have my preferences. I have my attachments a perfect world, this would happen and this Right, right, right. You know, and so but with that concept, do I lack anything?

Brandon Handley 52:47
No, man.

Randy Hyden 52:48
No. And so that’s about the most most spiritual thing right now. This is the latest epiphany. epiphany for Randy is Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 52:59
I lack nothing. That’s great.

Randy Hyden 53:01
I walk I get to walk around the block this morning, beautiful day as I’m walking around here and the birds. And I just everything was okay. Yeah, my three, I’m safe. Have my health I have people that I love. There’s people love me. You know, I have a vision. It’s, it’s coming forward.

Brandon Handley 53:22
Powerful, too. You know, if you don’t mind, I think that I think that what is your idea of vision? And you know, what does that mean? mean to you?

Randy Hyden 53:33
Well, you know, you can we’ve been talking about my vision it in that way. But, you know, I think for myself a lot of times what I would call purpose, or my calling. Dr. Stephen Covey called it your voice. In such. For me, it’s something that’s really important, but it’s also benefits others. So first, someone else again, on the exterior, whatever it is, what’s important to you, and then back to get it. Perhaps you want to be a pastor priest, you know, guru and stuff and you want to share enlightenment with other people. Okay, that’s something that again, just resonates with you again, my definition of spirituality is that that what animates life and what just makes me just be more alive than normal. But I have no concept of time I’m gonna just present and everything Life is good. But then again, maybe somebody’s purpose is just to be the dad they didn’t have Yeah, look, I mean, they feel great being the dad right. And and it’s obviously gonna benefit the kids. Yeah, I

Brandon Handley 54:43
mean, there’s beauty in that right. It’s just I think the the idea that you said to on vision is this kind of greater than yourself, right includes others has has purpose and feeling involved in it. sighs this guy says curious what your take was. And, you know, how important do you feel like it is for you to have this vision?

Randy Hyden 55:07
Well, when I, when I was newly sober, it was what kept me sober. And in this vision I’ve been sharing with you, and with people listening here and stuff, it’s evolved over the course of time. But it’s been in North Star for me is, you know, trying to bring the principles in the process, the 12 steps. Initially, it was because I was going to church I was considering vocation would be in a pastor and stuff, bringing that to the church community and bringing more of the church community to recovery, and all that kind of stuff kind of being a bridge. So read my earlier writings are much, much more Christian in their orientation, good or bad. It’s just again, I could reflect and see where my head was at that. But yeah, on the other hand, you know, it’s, again, to be intentional to be in a state of flow is to be focused, okay, so am I going to just be focused on the moment or in this conversation is a piece that will, you know, it’s presenting the vision to someone else, it is a marketing, it is a brand people again, I’m just being myself, you know, but it is in a shaper for his uncle Jimbo said, Just be yourself. So again, this is intentional in the process of bringing it forth, you know, so more people can know about what something is really important to me. And, again, it’s really interesting how, again, I’m meeting people like yourself, that I never get one, we known each other for a short period of time, definitely listen six, six months, and we’ve only had a few conversations, but I really enjoyed what you put on Facebook, I really enjoy our conversations. And and again, there’s more of you, that have been coming together. This is the third conversation today, of people that they get all at all, are just really the beginning of a friendship of a relationship. And as we choked around again, I made it’s proving to me that I am in a frequency level that is attracting people also at that other higher frequency level.

Brandon Handley 57:09
Yeah, I

Randy Hyden 57:10
love that is really super, because it’s back to I don’t trying to find balance between the subjective and the objective. Okay, and again, here suggested being basically my personal preferences, my opinions and interpretations of moments and such. But the objective kind of just being too close to 401 can be four as well, too. But you know what I mean, just trying to be and when involves human beings, again, it’s, it’s like we go into a court of law, it’s in perfect, but it’s the best way guy is when you’ve got three or four people that are verifying the facts of something happening, then there’s this guy called the judge or gala call, the judge that looks at all these different things and comes finds the commonalities and conclusions is with us is what we’ve been talking about.

Brandon Handley 57:58
Yeah. I mean, that’s the thing, too, right? I’m glad you brought that up. I mean, you get what you put out, right. And this is just another example. Or you get what you put out, and the idea of, you know, kind of what you seek is seeking you. Right. And so I think that that’s, that’s a little bit about what this exemplifies? So, Randy, I mean, this is, it’s been an awesome conversation. I feel like, you know, we could definitely, you know, have many of these, and I think that we will, I’m looking forward to two more of them. But for now, we got to close it on down. And what I want to do is let people know where they can come find out more about Randy Hyde, and where should we go to find you?

Randy Hyden 58:41
Well, if you’re on Facebook, attitude of gratitude, or a attitude of gratitude, long story on that. Yeah, the in 30 days, if you’re listening to it for 30 days, or this time we’re recording it. Flow is just www FL Oh, ah, it’s all I could get for a URL for the workflow. But afterwards, I was like, like, oh, whoa, I think it’s gonna work. And then there is a website called Attitude of Gratitude as well. That’s back to where like when I talked about where it was more about leading people in gardens and stuff that’s going to be revised soon. But yeah, and then, I guess I probably get a website going for this, you know, silver, soulful, successful thing. That’ll be, that’ll be in Facebook land. Promoting that. And again, I’m very fortunate. There’s a lot of other people that believe in it, support it and think it’s a good idea too. So yeah, that’ll be happening in January. So

Brandon Handley 59:47
awesome, man. Well, thank you so much for thanks for thanks so much for stopping by and hanging out today.

Randy Hyden 59:51
Thank you. Again, thank you so much.

Unknown Speaker 59:54
We really hope you enjoyed this episode of the spiritual dove podcast. stay connected with us. through spiritual dope.co You can also join the discussion on Facebook, spiritual dope, and Instagram and spiritual underscore Joe. If you would like to speak with us, send us an email through Brandon at spiritual dope Darko. And as always, thank you for cultivating your mindset and creating a better reality. This includes the most thought provoking part of your day. Don’t forget to like and subscribe to stay fully up to date. Until next time, be kind yourself and trust your intuition.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Brandon Handley 0:00
Now we will go on to chapter one ideal life. This chapter is really only like it takes you 1015 minutes maybe to read, right? These are all of my takeaways, as I’m going through this as I’m reading it as I’m engaging with it. So, are you ready to succeed? chapter one, the third ripple, which is societal change, he Sreekumar calls leadership

Unknown Speaker 0:23
bad.

Brandon Handley 0:25
Shots fired. The truth is he made there are very few leaders out there, there are many who have hierarchical, hierarchical, hierarchical positions, right? Many people who have authority out there and they can they can all put you in a good or bad place. But the deal is Oh, yeah, and and the idea is to that neither one of those, they don’t really care if you achieve your potential, all that they really care about is whether or not you feel the potential you feel the need for the role that you do to reach the level of productivity that you need to underneath of them. Okay. Also, the most of these people use they haven’t been trained. Alright, maybe they haven’t been they haven’t been trained. They don’t. They may not be here and I love this not able to manifest the life force that wins dedicated commerce to their vision. First of all, you got no vision. What do you what do you personally manifesting lifeforce for right that’s why did the podcast on vision that’s why vision is so important. It is to help you to manifest that lifeforce. This guy to dedicate converts, you know, to your vision. What is your life? You know, what would it What is your vision? If you don’t have a vision, it’s very difficult to be a leader. True Self interests, teaches selflessness. Now, again, that may seem kind of oxymoronic. But the idea of being a leader is to do things in service of others. How can How can you lead others to their own greatness? Right? How can you help someone to find out the best of who they are? Right here enlightened leadership is service. So what does it What does that look like for you? Have you been in the presence of a leader? Have you been in the presence of someone who can spell out their vision and you can just, you can feel it with them, and you want to be a part of that? And they come over you? And they’re like, Well, you know, how would you like to contribute? You’re like, ah, I don’t fucking know. Nobody’s ever asked me what I’d like to do to help you, you know, help, you know, be a part of this. They’ve always told me what I need to do. And you know, so leadership says, Hey, you, how would you like to do today? Do you like this? Can you see this vision? Are you a part of this vision? What would you like to do to help make this vision come true?

Unknown Speaker 3:16
And how can how can

Brandon Handley 3:19
I as a leader, you help you become who you want to become? Right? throughout this process? That’s the true self interest. That’s the well being of all, you know, again, the vision about the well being of self alone. Yeah, sure. I could have a great life. And again, go back to just following the instructions and doing the thing and have a have a life that doesn’t require or incorporate any of this. But that’s hollow. That’s tinny? That’s Yeah, I mean, so there’s, there’s, there’s, that’s a me lacks fulfillment. Leadership is a state of being not a skill.

Unknown Speaker 4:10
I love that. So

Brandon Handley 4:10
you have to go through today. And again, going back to the idea that let’s let’s take, let’s take Facebook, let’s take marketing, let’s take, you know, all these 10 x your XYZ and you know, become this person, do these things, follow these steps, and this will happen for you. It’s no good to study those specific styles, right? What is it about that person? Really, what is their intention? What reflect on the deeper qualities of that person, their style of leadership? What are they really doing what they do and this reminds me of Bob Proctor right. When he started the beginning, he would go up on stage and present and you know, you I could take I could take someone’s scripts, I could take the words that somebody says and go through all those things, and I could do that. The things that would not have their results would not have their results just by doing the things that they did taking those actions, that’s not going to get me there. I might have some source, I might, I might have something there, but I’m not, I’m not going to have those specific results, because I’m trying to apply these like skills, I’m trying to apply these tactics, and there’s no intention in there for me, and chances are that I’m doing those things out of more more of a self interest of just unify me only me, me, me, me centered, versus how can? What is it that I’m doing that is bringing you both spiritual and material growth? Right? How am I helping you by showing up today? And it’s once once we once we see kind of like, you know, these deeper qualities, you know, not even just you what’s beyond you, you know, what’s that grand vision for the world, the universe that I live in, where, whereby my helping you helps to bring up all of humanity. All right. So then, you know, different styles of leadership and methods of awareness appear to apply to all people all situate once you get this shit, once you get this stuff, man, once you get even just the beginning of this stuff, you start to build momentum, you start to see this applied, you sit at home, you know, I always always start at home, especially when I was doing fatherhood for the rest of us. Once you apply this at home,

Unknown Speaker 6:52
with your family with you,

Brandon Handley 6:57
that will do you’ll see that apply in your community that will apply at work that will apply everywhere you go.

Brandon Handley 7:05
So you’ll see it in all situations is it does it again, once you’ve once you get it, once you understand how this stuff works, it’ll start you’ll start to see it everywhere you go, you can’t not you are a creature, you know that that seeks and creates your own types of patterns. Once you recognize a couple of these patterns and things quite literally, almost with a noisy clump, fall into position, you can’t help but see, again, the jobs quote as you can’t connect the dots going forward. But as you look back, you will be able to see that this does indeed apply everywhere all the time. And if that’s the case, again, copy successors, there are you’ll recognize where you’ve been successful and where somebody else has been successful, and you’re able to see the parallels, and you’ll be able to apply that going forward. And again, not not just for your own success, but for the success of all people involved. Right. And so leaders, because the leader, again, once you recognize this stuff, because the leader sees clearly they can shed light on others. To me, this is the idea of seeing divinity within themselves, they can see it and others reflect it back to them. And for the greater whole, you see everything as a miracle, right? You see everything as as divine, that everything, you know, that changes the way you see thinks. And leaders, you know, eventually, you know, they can see the bigger picture because they’ve gone beyond themselves, they see how it’s all going to interact, and they see how to apply these patterns. So the idea of organizational change, to motivate, you know, to get you just to go do something is kind of demeaning and demotivating, right, like, if I look at you as a unit and I’m like oh what if I motivate you with this and then judge you’re just more productive? For me? That’s kind of demotivating right and the meaning because I’m just trying to get you to do what I want you to do under me as a management and as a greater level of productivity looking at you as a productivity unit in an industrial sense in an industry and sure we all want to be industrious um but again that’s for me not view my job or a leaders job again is to find out what is it that is d motivating you? What is it that if I look at the book, glad right here I think no standout 2.0 right. Wait, wait. I’m so skilled, gives a shit about your weaknesses, right? If you play together as a team, and I put you in To where you’re strongest at, you play your strengths. If you’re playing to your strengths, chances are you’re going to be much more motivated than if I come over to you and say, you know, you know, you didn’t get your TPS report done. Right? And and maybe that’s just not your thing. All right, find out what it is this demotivating, you remove the demotivator, remove the op, you’re not, I’m not removing obstacles, so much as an A leader isn’t so much removing an obstacle so much as they are helping you to navigate. I recently had a coaching session. And I told the coach, I said, Listen, let me just keep going kind of along my own way. And I’ll reach out to you if I hit a wall. And he goes, Well, what about not hitting that wall at all? Right? What if I can, since as a leader, since I’ve been in the year, your situation, your space before, a point out where a couple of walls are held you meet or not even you physically point them out, but just help you to navigate them so that they never

Unknown Speaker 11:15
appear?

Brandon Handley 11:17
Right? He goes, yes. What happens if I make it so you never have to hit the wall? Like Well, that’s, that’s great. Right? How much time is saved that? So I love it, right? He’s obviously Sreekumar Rouse obviously got like a kind of a thing for like the incipit imitator, right? The exercise in this book will help you become an authentic leader, instead of turning you into an insipid imitator, right. And I think that it’s a line from Sherman, I’m flipping through the book real quick here, because I’ve got, you need to command the souls of others as well as their bodies. And you do this at first. But by working on yourself, right, he goes, uh, commands the soul of his men, right? You got to command the soul of men, that’s from William Sherman, I’m guessing from you know, back in the day that the tank leader, but you do that by working on yourself first, I can’t, I can’t change anybody else, the only thing I do is change myself. And then once you start changing yourself, you begin to see the change in others. I know that sounds again, you know, kind of paradoxical, but it but it is true. In addition, leadership is inclusive of your family roles. And to me, once you start doing these things at your home first, if you have the opportunity to to work on yourself

Unknown Speaker 12:47
at home,

Brandon Handley 12:48
Imagine being able to do it around those that you know, love and trust with your family, then you are able to it really it’s really a great place to practice, right. And it’s a good place to implement leadership, how can I help my wife You know, become who she wants to become How can I help my boys become who they want to become not who I want them to become? Who do they want to become? Right. So, leadership in the family sense. So cut it there on the third chapter are on the third, third ripple. And as you can see, you know, once once you know individual organizational and into an opportunity as you grow. If you have the opportunity to become a leader in a certain space, then you can have the most impact, a greater impact and you can become that super strong ripple.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Brandon Handley 0:00
So as we continue through the book, are you ready to succeed. And as we continue on to the second ripple, which is organizational change, we’re gonna we’re gonna look at how we can, you know, we can look at the idea of how we connect, and how that determines our lives. And then we also look at the idea of, how do we how do we determine how do we differentiate between a pure network contact,

Brandon Handley 0:30
which are cultivated for connections and positions and and all this other stuff? Right? We go after the Hey, what do you do? Oh, man, you could really help me what I do, and let me see how I can use you. And your role for for my gain my company’s gain, right versus a true contact, right? Which is gonna change our intention, how can I? How can I How can I help you out? What is it that you do? How can I help you close a gap? We look at Zig Ziglar. And his old saying, which was, you know, the more you help others to get what they need, the more you can get what you know, help others get what they want, so that you can get what you want type of thing. So that type of intention, and I love that srikumar Rao has in here, whatever you are trying to do, must bring spiritual and material growth to others, right? How can I help you to grow spiritually, and materially, because live that we we live in those two different worlds, and that’s okay. And that is what’s going to begin your organizational change, you know, to change how you connect, how do you connect, let go of the idea that you person or body that you are the orchestrator of the events, it goes back into kind of creating the serendipitous events, how we don’t even know how we are here in existence, let go of the idea that you are the specific orchestrator of events. When when you know, so again, that also goes back to the idea of control what you can control. That’s just kind of like your thoughts and emotions and reactions, responses, that type of thing. Everything outside of that. It’s beyond your control. And again, this is this is this is coming at this with my current level of understanding. Okay, so second ripple, organizational change, when you have the right mixture of passion and detachment, as well as the acceptance of what really happens. So, look, I’m super excited to be involved with some of the technology that I’m involved with, and some of the ideas that I’m working on. But I’m not

Unknown Speaker 3:04
attached

Brandon Handley 3:07
to the outcome, being what I believe it needs to be right. So I think it should come out like this, or even a relationship or dinner, anything, right? I go out at night and get a flat tire, we should go out. I remember one night that Meg and I, you know, went out how to Uber and, you know, the, the date night, we hit a deer on the way home Buber driver hitting you know that that was you know, if I was would have been attached to a certain outcome, that outcome, that wouldn’t have been the outcome, right. And I could have gotten angry or upset that that happened, right? I could have gotten angry the doober driver, you didn’t dodge it or whatever. But I accepted it. We accepted it of what really happened. And again, in technology, or, you know, in the sales business, wherever you are, you know, you’ve got a great idea I made this video, this is what I’m creating. I’d love for it to have thousands and millions of views. Maybe maybe one maybe get zero views and and that’s got to be okay, I’m not doing it just for the likes, or the or any of it. I’m doing it because I enjoy it. I’m doing it because I believe that there’s value for you to go through it as well. I believe there’s value in these concepts and ideas. And the more that I learned about them, the more that I put them into my own mind, the more that I could bring bring into the world with them, if that makes sense. All right. So also think about the idea and like he says, you know, in an army, you know, you create these different connections, right you can, you’ve gone through this organizational change, and army will show up to support you the moment that you need it. You ever, you know, once you realize that you’re not the person that needs to To create and do it all, soon as you realize that you’re a member of a team, and you’re willing to be a supporter in that team. This is something that I, you know, eight years working at Cisco, I think taught me. So I went in there and I just wanted to help and

Unknown Speaker 5:19
do

Brandon Handley 5:20
do well with others and help them along. And, and the idea is that it wasn’t for just six, I just wanted to help. That’s wanted to make sure that the work that I was doing, was helping another person, get their sales, again, helping them to get what they need, so that I get what I wanted type of thing. But not even that wasn’t even even wasn’t even done with that intent. I just wanted to do the work. And I want to do it because these were good people. And, and they showed it all the time, I they would turn back around, and they would support me all the time. How but it also reminds me to have the idea of an army of angels that I had an interview with like a Mar, the deal is like, Listen, whatever you’re putting out there, as long as you’re putting out there, like good stuff, you’re supporting others and trying to help others. The moment you need them, the moment you need that army of angels, they are going to show up and support you. In the in the chapter of an ideal life under organizational change, he’s got a James Allen quote, about the golden opportunities that will present themselves on your path. And honestly, this is always happening, going back up to the idea that there’s going to be obstacles in your way, those obstacles. Man, I really, I still don’t like the book. But you know, the obstacle is the way that obstacle, that challenge is, is the golden opportunity. What is it that’s in there, if there’s an obstacle in there, it’s going to take some type of growth out from you from your team, from your ability to change perspectives, you simply need to identify it as such, and move forward on that, can I make this larger, let me make this larger. On the screen that is so that’s that James Allen, quote, golden opportunities present themselves on your path. As you continue through, going through this, this change, right books and other aids, will, that you need, will come to you unsought. also understand that the books for reflect

Unknown Speaker 7:27
your current

Brandon Handley 7:28
level of understanding, and often contains the keys that you seek. I think of this in the terms of, look, I went through my awakening or conscious change, you know, that was a pretty dramatic, I don’t, I didn’t, I didn’t understand the language that I needed to use, I couldn’t understand it, because I hadn’t been exposed to it before. I had no understanding. And I needed I need to these books that again, this is one of the books that came to, to my, to my aid, so that I could go ahead and I could grow in it, and could learn. So as we’ve got the, you know, the different levels of understanding that you’re going to get from these books. You know, again, you’re you’ve already got kind of queries in your mind, right? You’ve already got thought thoughts and ideas of how things are working, you’ve already got different ways of understanding. And what you’re looking for is how do you teach that to others? How can you share that out? Right? I can’t tell you the number of books that have just, that just continue to pop up in my life for the past like three, three and a half, four years that have helped me to understand

Unknown Speaker 8:58
me,

Brandon Handley 8:58
right, who’ve helped me to understand all of all, all of what I’m going through with you right now. In Are you ready to succeed? And, you know, movies, anything really once once you once you kind of develop this, this idea of any you don’t even notice it right? Really, this is kind of looking forward if you haven’t already seen this for yourself. So Steve Jobs quote is you you can only connect the dots going backwards. Another interesting just kind of a tidbit here, my kids read this book, Deuteronomy Stilton. And what was interesting and I thought that it was cool that they did this they they needed keys to the crystal cavern or something like that. And and there was a crystal key that they have to find within the book. Right that that seed is planted in their mind that the keys are within the book, right? They had to find these images of the the key Within the book, and you know, they don’t see it that way right now I guarantee it, right. But my current level of understanding is, Wow, that’s really cool that they put actual keys within the book that would help them to unlock different different things. And that’s probably not the way the author intends it. But it could be wrong. This book will help you to powerfully connect in ways so that you are in harmony with your values. And to me it has, and I believe, I believe for you that it could otherwise otherwise I wouldn’t be taken this much effort to to share it all out with you. If your current level of connecting is, you know, how can that person benefit me in my life? How can I go to network to you know, climb a ladder type of mentality? Can you get there and that way? Yes. How will you feel in the end? You know, can you get there? And what’s that going to look like? That’s a you know, that’s just a question that I’ve got for you versus, you know, we talked about the different ways that we connect right and how to differentiate that become a light that intersects with other lights creating a unified and brighter spot the ideas of like different spotlights on the stage, the idea of you being a light spotlighting somebody else. And what’s great for them out there. When you know, you’re driving up a vehicle, car, when you have the headlights go they they are they are set so that they they they intersect each other in a brighter space in front of the vehicle. So they will you know, you could do you have to manually adjust them, at least you did at one point so that they face is called light alignment. And you need to adjust those headlights so that they intersect at a certain place where the beams will intersect facing down in front of you. And where they intersect. They create a brighter light and they work together as a team. So if you’re working again as a team and not as an individual, as a part of the greater whole, as a part of the all then you you will create that stronger ripple that was discussed.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Brandon Handley 0:00
Alright guys, what is going on? Welcome a spiritual dopers working with a small group. And I figured I’d share on the podcast to the book is called Are you ready to succeed? This is about the third or fourth time I’ve gone through this book, it’s very powerful. I’m gonna be working on chapter one today, and one of the things I’m working on is do a vine map of this. So you may want to check out the video, you may want to just listen to podcasts nanji, May, you may just want to reach out to me. But that that’s what today is about. Yeah, so we’re gonna be we’re gonna be sharing some of that with you. The book is again, are you ready to succeed streak Kumar Rao. Great book, I found it when going through, you know, my Ted bench fees. And he’s got a video a TED talk called, you know, you are hardwired for happiness. that inspired me quite a bit, pick up the book. And when I first got the book, in the beginning of the book, it basically tells you, you need to commit to this, you need to be ready to go through it, you should have a group to do it and all these other other pieces. And I thought that was pretty cool. But I wasn’t ready at the time took me a year to even decide to pick up the book. And then I went ahead and I decided that I would also I would also create a group to do it with and I did that. And this is I think the third or fourth year that diet each year I get a little bit different takes from it. And each year I grow a little bit more and come at it from a different angle. And just just wanting to share some of it with you. This is the first year that I’ve gone as deep as I’ve gone. Where I mean, I’ve got notes written I’m holding up on hold up the video, but i’ve you know, I’ve already highlighted it for the past couple of years. But this year, you know, I’ve got I’ve got new highlights, I’ve got new underlines. I’ve got notes in the I’ve got notes in the actual book, where are you? What are these things making me think of? All right, what is one of my takeaways? What’s my level of understanding as I approached this book, this year, and this time, so this year, and this time, I will be recording, like I said, the this mind map that I’m using an app called x mind, I got this idea from God, gosh, man, what’s the guy’s name Rodriguez, he does some amazing videos over on YouTube. And I saw him going through his ex map, an ex mine and sharing out some other books that he’s done. And I figured, hey, let’s try that out for just myself as a way to again further ingrain some of this stuff and really embody it. The knowledge so I’m gonna go ahead and I’m going to pop over into I’m doing this in a video, like I said, I’m gonna pop over to x mind. The book is going to be rd rates succeed. The first chapter that we’re dealing with here is his ideal life, right talks about what does it look like to build out your ideal life? And you know, because he has some questions in there, he says, Hey, are you you know, do you feel he sets the whole thing up? Right? Do you feel stagnant is uh, do you have low Connections is it you know, as you feel like life is short, and talk through it, because again, look every day, this this is some of the stuff makes you crazy writing every day that you’re not radiantly alive and brimming with cheer is a day wasted, which is to me, like an uppercut into the soul. It takes your breath away. All right. Um, he also talks about the idea that there’s a nonlinear relationship between the work that you do and the results. And he also ties that into a story

Brandon Handley 4:16
of like a Zen master. Right? So it turns into like a story of a Zen master the uses to, you know, illustrate this and basically, you know, let’s say a monk or a lay person comes up to a Zen master or just a person who has mastery and goes, Well, how long is it going to take me? Master to get to your level, or at least a level of mastery? Because if you work at it now, it’ll take 10 years. A guy goes bad 10 years. Well, what happens if you’re at it? 24 seven, if all I do is is this? And his intent is to cut the time in half and in his mind is And this took me five years. And the master goes, if you double your efforts, instead of taking 10 years now will take you 20, it will take you 20. And when you think about it, you just think about all the efforts that you put into everything. And in my mind, it kind of brought up this this idea of if you’re also again, this comes from a level of understanding all the other stuff that I’ve got my mind. So it comes up with the idea of all the imagine, you know, nature abhors a vacuum, that’s, that’s the line that I’m working with here. And maybe instead of putting all my energy into a space, I create the space and let nature fill that vacuum. And so what’s that look like? It means again, if I’m putting all my effort, if I’m doubling my efforts, I’m not allowing anything else to get in. To my space, i’m not i’m not i’m putting all my energy versus letting some other energy or ideas into it, I think, you know, right now, my current level of understanding, that’s how I that’s how I see that. So in the ideal life section, it also talks about learning to create serendipitous moments. If you keep doing what you’ve always done and acting in the way that you’ve always acted, you can pretty much and thinking the way you’ve always thought you can pretty much expect to have the same results. So what does it look like to create a serendipitous moment, maybe you’re inspired to go volunteer somewhere, you’re there because you simply want to be there. And, you know, you run into some other people who believe in the same cause, and, and, and they, you know, they’re in the spirit of giving their opening, giving and the happy to be there. And they know that their efforts are meaningful, and you create a connection with that person, then that person and you connect and then further further on throughout life and you know, eventually create something together. That would have never happened if you didn’t leave your house because you are inspired to go volunteer, go do something, it doesn’t have to be a volunteer activity. But that does it does look like acting on your inspiration or inspired moments in order to create those serendipitous moments. And that’s right there be moved by deep inner conviction and you What do you believe in what is powerful for you? Right. I believe in this pledge believe in this. I believe in this book, I believe in you know, caring for my children, I believe in things for my family. For before like, career, all right. I believe that you know, I want to see what happens here or or even within right? If you look at the motto, I think I was Keller Williams for a little bit. It’s God family, career, God family work, right. And as as we kind of come along this path and if you’re a fan of Vedanta, or you know any other religion, they all tell you kind of focus on God first, but what does that mean? That’s going to be you know, something that’s up to you. So, you know, your ideal life again, you there’s something in that you deserve, right? You deserve to wake up and have a brilliant and beautiful life that’s filled with joy. So, how do you know that this book would be a fit for you? He goes through this book and it says, Hey, you know, how do you know this book would be be for you? Well, it basically this was the line of the book that that I knew that it was for me. Do you have the nagging sense that there’s a great deal that you have to accomplish in this somehow? You are not living up to even a fraction? even a fraction

Brandon Handley 9:20
of your potential?

Brandon Handley 9:26
That’s it That’s a hell yeah, for me it was a hell yes. Every time I read that line, it’s a hell yeah. Is this is comfort, strong and growing again, that’s a big Hell yeah. A big Hell yeah. Are you willing to make the effort to Know thyself every time? What who is thy self goes back into that deep inner convictions. Right? Who? Who are you?

Unknown Speaker 9:52
Right?

Brandon Handley 9:54
That’s where we kind of get into you’re not living up to even a fraction of your potential. Where’s your connection who With right, according to his book, you know, these are these are just a couple of the the key indicators that you are indeed a fine fit to we pick up this book and check it out why change matters, right? You know shifts of consciousness can occur with started startling rapidity. When I first picked up this book, I think that I was in I was in just a, you know, follow these steps, and these are the things that will happen for you. kind of mentality, it was very external. It was very, I guess, career externally motivated. And is somewhere in between reading this book and, and, and the first and second time, it has some massive shifts in consciousness. And it’s hard not to say that the part of that didn’t because it wasn’t because of this book, or in part because of it. So where are a couple of areas that need to change, you know, where, where change will need to occur. So that’s individual change. And I think that that’s, that’s fairly self explanatory. It goes on to so there’s three levels of it. So the individual, organizational and societal individual fairly self explanatory. Organizational. goes over says, look, the old command and control hierarchies are unsuited to our current era. Right? That and, and some of the change mechanisms that are out there, they’re, they’re really literally just just band aids. Right. And I love the visual that sukumar puts out there is that band aids cannot cope with a severe artery, right? She shouldn’t need surgical, high level medical assistance, you know, a complete and total, you need the doctor, right? He’s somebody who can really come in and help with that. So that’s an organizational change, right? And then under societal value changes, better leaders will only emerge when we change what we honor. Right now, we honor a lot of this material, external success only at the detriment to the detriment often, of the internal personal self, to the family to too many other things. And it doesn’t have to be that way. God, I love this line Tuesday of spreading ripples from a stone tossed into a pond. And this is under societal, right spreading ripples from a stone and toss it upon with ripples growing stronger instead of attenuating. Let’s take a look at it in this in this one way. We can look at it in in kind of a social network kind of way. Or if you’re from the finance world, one at one of the things that they’ll have you look at and finance when you’re going through it. Business Finance and and you know, who’s kind of like the most likely to pay? Or, you know, be engaged with you? Is it the person that has, you know, kind of put the most money in? Or is the person who’s paid last I mean, that’s, that’s one of the that’s one way to look at it. Right? Generally speaking, it’s going to be the person who’s engaged last with you. Versus, you know, over time, so who the one closest and most recently engaged is going to be your stronger ripple. Another way to look at it as kind of as, as you speak your truth, as you engage others, the ripple you know, you know, attenuate it means that it gets, you know, kind of weaker as it goes out there. Instead, it’s going to grow stronger. And we’re going to talk a little bit about that as we get into the third report societal change, and you’ll see how and why that can happen. But again, imagine, imagine that, you know, it’s weak from the center and it’s not until later that that, that that, that that ripple finally grows into a tsunami

Transcribed by https://otter.ai