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Prepare yourself for the upcoming interview that I had with Brandon Marshall Havener as we traipse through topics such as: Understanding your value money Magic* Using your relationship rebound to reforge your broken ass, the upper limit problem, and much much more!

Sorry I Offended You Podcast

Brandon Marshall Havener Instagram

Smart Assery Dot Com

Brandon Handley 0:00

Or 54321 Hey, there’s spiritual dope. I am on with Brandon haven or otherwise known as the spiritual smart as and, you know, just talking with him right now we had some conversations back and forth a few years back. This was when I was afraid, personally to be leading with spirituality. And I was really I was admiring you, Brandon. Not me, Brandon, you, Brandon, for for, for leading that way. And I thought that was really I thought that your unique sense of humor and felt like you were doing a kind of like a fearless sense. And I’ve really admired that. So thanks for being on here today.

Brandon Havener 0:38

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Thanks for having me.

Brandon Handley 0:41

Absolutely. Absolutely. So, I like to start this off with like, you know, the universe creates through us, right, and the universe, you know, kind of puts us together, and whoever’s, like, you know, tune in in the podcast today and check on you and I out. They need to hear something today and it’s only going to come through you so what’s what’s that What’s that person need to hear? That’s coming through you in this podcast today.

Brandon Havener 1:05

I think the main thing is, you know, talking about spirituality and some of the shit that people would I don’t know if I’m allowed to cuss here

Brandon Handley 1:14

cannot say it’s spiritual. You know? I don’t know spiritual cleansing.

Brandon Marshall Havener 1:20

Yeah, so I you know, like anybody who

Brandon Marshall Havener 1:24

who finds pulled to that kind of stuff there’s going to be that fear of ridicule and being called crazy and you know, I think like spirituality and some of the conspiracy stuff to kind of go hand in hand where like some people are like really going into Oh my God, that’s crazy people have lost their mind and even your family might think you lost your mind. So you know just kind of like the conversation we had a little bit before we started recording it’s confronting you lose your you start losing old parts of your identity when you decide to go on the spiritual journey, and I really You know, I hope this episode really helps people into leaning into that or like really owning who they actually are, you know, rather than hiding in the corner and being like, Well, I have these thoughts, but I’m not going to talk about it.

Brandon Handley 2:13

Now. That’s awesome. So I definitely want to get into that. But before we, before we get into that, let’s, let’s dig into, you know, who the spiritual market as is and kind of where you are in life, what you kind of what you offer out there. Let’s dig into that a little bit. So if somebody never met you, and you could say more than five words, because we have social media, what would you be saying?

Brandon Marshall Havener 2:39

I would say that my content is like a blend of comedy and spirituality. And it’s really helpful for people to move in and move into their space as messengers and speak that authentic message that converts into paying clients. But in a way that’s enjoyable. I think a lot people focus on clients. But then they get the clients and then they can’t be themselves around them. And then they’re like, oh, what am I doing? So like I really taken the blend of, do you feel good about your art? And are you profiting off of that art rather than doing business well, but feeling horrible because you’re not getting creative, or doing art, but not creating that into business because it’s not translatable into business. And I think it gets to be a both slash and conversation.

Brandon Handley 3:32

Now, I love it, right? So you’re helping people who are in one of those spaces already, right and to, for the person who’s solely like focused on business and coaching and getting clients. You’re like, hey, loosen up a little bit. This should be This should be fun for you, and that should shine through somewhere. Otherwise you look very clinical. Right? And you’re probably not having fun yourself. And I can tell it looks like you’re not having fun yourself because you looked pent up whenever I see you, right? Yeah. And then you’ve got the artists person who’s like, who’s like, I’m not worried about money and I don’t care and like, you know, there’s just like there’s like, but in the end, like if you just make help that artists person who’s who is very creative to just get over that chasm or whatever, just a little bit of like, hey, it’s okay to take money for what you do. Right? And it’s okay to profit from what you love to do. And, and and kind of merge it right. So you kind of merging those two, is that what I’m hearing you say?

Brandon Marshall Havener 4:33

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And that kind of brings me back before I even considered myself a business owner. I was doing hip hop music and I was having people come into my parents basement to record and I was so afraid of charging people I was like, you know, they’re my friends or like, you know, or I wouldn’t be too pressured about charging so I would find myself, you know, working on this art and I I really think it takes away You know, your love for the art when you’re not owning your value and charging for it because then all of a sudden you find yourself doing a bunch of stuff for people for free. And, you know, you may hear the similar thing from a lot of people where it’s like, just give me your art and I’ll give you exposure that occur. And that just it really eats away at your soul and sort and you may even fall into the trap of feeling like you don’t really love your art when really it’s just the boundaries that was failed to me place there.

Brandon Marshall Havener 5:35

Sure, sure. Um, yeah, tell me a little bit more about like, what you mean by by the boundaries being failed to play, sir.

Brandon Marshall Havener 5:42

Yeah, so it’s like, you know, like, someone might come up to you and say, Hey, you know, do this graphic for me because exposure, you know, I’ll give you exposure and return and then you’re like, doing hours of work for somebody because it’s like, you know what they care about me they’re given the exposure or other opinion You sort of like, just got a boss for your art. And then you’re like, wait a minute, I’m not getting paid for this. I’m not doing exactly what I want to do. And I think that’s really something that people fall into. It’s like not, and it starts from like, really not valuing the art. Right? You tivity because it’s so easy for us,

Brandon Handley 6:20

right? Yeah, no. 100% right. So I mean, that I think that speaks to, like, the language that you speak, right? Like you speak your own type of language. And it’s so easy for you just like this art that you couldn’t possibly understand how, how somebody else finds value and what comes so easily you? Yep. Right. So yeah, that’s, I mean, that’s great. And you know, to understand the value that you bring to someone, and if you’ve never charged somebody for it before, you don’t know it can be an uncomfortable situation, because then somebody’s like, well, you’re just really greedy. Why don’t you you know, just give it to me. Yeah. If you’re so speaking, you know, in terms of, you’re so spiritual like, shouldn’t be, shouldn’t the energy just come to you when you need the things that you need? Right? So, I think that’s a challenge too, especially in this this, uh, you know, spiritual coaching or spiritual space. And I’ve seen I’ve seen that be said, and I was like, well, this is just an energy exchange. Give me a fucking money.

Brandon Marshall Havener 7:14

Yeah, right. I want to get paid. I mean, money was created to make things simple. So we’re not trading like fucking potatoes or apples, right? Like we were put into like, you know, obviously people have their own opinions about the system and all things but the brilliant thing about the system of money is we don’t have to do all this guesswork of what is you know what things are valued at what So, really, I tried to stay away from the barter stuff because of that because it can complicate things and it’s not to say bartering is evil or wrong or anything like that. But I just feel it’s easier. Even if we are doing some sort of trade. It’s like wait, you know, I Have an established price for the service I do but then I’ll sell you this and then I’ll buy that for even if you know like you do miss like buying from each other rather than doing a trade because then the the boundaries can get kind of murky and then you you can leave that relationship with resentment because no one was really keeping tabs on what parts of value is being exchanged not 100% right when you’re using money there’s there’s a predetermined set right? This is $1 that’s $1 you know, versus you know, give me that Apple for that orange type thing that’s just it never it never really works out and there’s always I think on one and a level of discomfort right like yeah you know still waiting on my oranges and you know the other person like they’re not in season yet bro right? So I mean that type of thing. So, so I love I love that you know you’re doing it from the side but you know what, I don’t know. What I don’t know is like, you know, how do you go from like hip hop in the basement to the military to you Being in this spiritual space. Wow, this is though, that it I was all I always saw myself as like a creative artist and hip hop at one point that was like, I would say, like right now, you know, writing content is sort of the same thing. You know, it’s like it’s putting art together and putting it out there. But what I found is in my, I was gonna say late 19th, but 19th isn’t a thing. But like, when I was 19 or so I started getting into personal development, spirituality and business. So I was dabbling in different things. And, you know, in fact, there’s some more stuff in there. I probably did so much stuff in my early 20s, but didn’t master everything out of it. But I did real estate investing and, you know, I, I did internet marketing, like I started an email list and start leasing hip hop beats, so I was just experimenting with a lot of stuff. And you know, I guess that’s good for a young person because you get to see what you like and what you don’t like. Then I realized that for I had that realization, I probably read it in a book somewhere. But I had the realization that my mind was all over the place like I wanted to go from real estate to selling hip hop beats, internet marketing, and all this crazy stuff. And then I joined the military, not as a way of like, let me get free college or anything like that, or it wasn’t even about the money because the money was actually quite horrible. But I knew that it would help me be disciplined into like, following something through to completion. In fact, I remember, like one of my mom’s friends was she she shared with me that he was telling her that he didn’t believe I was going to go through basic training. So like, that was a big thing for me to go through that grueling activity, even if it was painful and then completing completing it anyway. And I think that’s what a lot of creatives need because You know, when you’re a startup or you’re like, you get so inspired by a new idea. A trap could be when things get tougher or you know, you meet that resistance is to convince yourself, Well, this isn’t aligned anymore. So I’m gonna move on to a new craft and then a new craft, but then you master nothing. So I think the the big thing about military is it taught me to stick through something even when the resistance started getting high or got inconvenient.

Brandon Handley 11:29

I’m excited. That makes sense. Makes a lot of sense. I think it’s really interesting, too, that you got involved. I mean, how did you listen when I was 19? Um, you know, the furthest thing from my mind was like, personal development and or real estate investing or any of that stuff. You know, I was, I was partying real hard. So I mean, I think that that even indicates You know, this this what, how’d you how’d you get into it at that young age?

Brandon Marshall Havener 11:58

Yeah, I I was online I got out of like a horrible breakup. And I was the first question is how do I get my ex back? So I was looking that up and then I ended up on some guy’s email list and it just fell I fell into this rabbit hole of personal development because it’s like, he was selling me getting my ex back. But it was really uh, you know, how do you improve your, you know, body language and how you carry yourself and how do you interact with relationships? So, you know, I started becoming a new person and learning all this new stuff. And then I asked myself like, well, if I can learn this, isn’t there a way to learn how to like make a ton of money rather than going to college because this community college stuff isn’t working for me. So yeah, it was it was pretty much like one rabbit hole led to the other and that led to spirituality. I think I first heard about Wayne Dyer from dating program. I don’t know if you ever heard of pagane but he had an alias David DeAngelo. And he would talk about how to attract women. But this one program I got from him was like talking about Wayne Dyer. So all of a sudden, I’m listening to Wayne Dyer in my early 20s. So

Brandon Handley 13:15

Wow, that’s awesome. That’s awesome. So, who knows? I think like, how do I get my ex back is like the number one. Google search, right? Yeah, I think it’s like ranks up top there. But who knows? Who knew that that would kind of lead to, you know, kind of spiritual and personal development. I love I love how you kind of took on that challenge. You you you cited that kind of like a personal challenge for yourself. Right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 13:38

Yeah. Come on. I mean, even yoga that was promoted to me as Hey, there’s a lot of women that do yoga and there’s not a lot of men that do yoga.

Brandon Handley 13:47

do yoga. in your favor, right? Yeah, I generally favor and I think that um, you know, it’s kind of funny you bring up Wayne Dyer is actually just putting a piece together based off of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and You know, Cain dire dire like worked under him right on if he knew that like he as low like he ran into math low I forget one of his stories right and that’s kind of how he went into this space I feel right like I don’t have the full story but I do know that Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a little bit more I think intended and came from like a Dyer space like Wayne Dyer space then you know how we we use it we leverage it right now for like marketing for for everything right like I you know, just like college and all these other things. But I think that you know, big part a big part of that and and even when I got out of dire is is like you know that self actualization piece right at the top of that top of that pyramid. And it’s funny because you’re talking about the you know, your base level needs right? Like I need, you know, I need my girlfriend back I need all these other things back and until like you fix all those pieces. The rest of it doesn’t matter. Like these are the things that I need my life right and until I get that then then Then we’re not talking. Right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 15:02

Yeah, a lot of people are, you know, brought to a certain level of pain and then they’re like, they just fall into spirituality somehow.

Brandon Handley 15:11

Well, yeah, I mean that that could be right. That could be I’m always on the other end of that, to be honest with you, I you know, how I kind of came into it was not painful for me, right. Like, you know, I kind of fell into it, right, like a fucking swan song or whatever, you know, like, oh, whatever, you know, but but which is why I’m always like, you know, you don’t have to you don’t have to go through like, you know, tremendous pain to like, have a better life. Right? Yeah,

Brandon Marshall Havener 15:38

I want that. I’m gonna Place Order now. My next life. I wanted to be a little more smooth.

Brandon Handley 15:44

Yeah, I mean, listen, don’t get me wrong, like you. Maybe you got into it earlier. And it was rougher. It came from me, like later in life is like, Well, yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and take that. Take that experience. So I know you’ve gone over this in one of the recent podcasts. I love To so you know if you’re working with somebody and it’s brand new to them getting into this internet marketing space I you know what she calls it just internet marketing anymore or is it marketing in general social media marketing anyways? What would you do if you were starting today?

Brandon Marshall Havener 16:17

Oh man. So what did I say on that podcast? Yeah, so like if I started today I would well first I think like the main thing is speaking a consistent message like that’s your first line of defense because you want people coming to your profile and having a reaction of fuck Yes, sir. Fuck no. Got your page in there either leaving right away or fully attracted and loving yourself like it’s a breath of fresh air. So I would start with like, talking all the crazy stuff that you wanted to talk about and not even worry if one person likes it or not. In fact, I sort of recently got into that on Twitter, because Twitter’s a new battle. Feeling for me. So I’m just like posting my craziest thoughts on Twitter and seeing if like someone comes on there and picks it up. And then the other thing is being proactive. I would really look into who speaks a message or who is an expander for you. And this is something that Lacey Phillips talks about she, she labels them expander so I’m sure she owns that word or something. But expanders are basically people in doing something that you are a want to be doing in a way that you want to be doing it and have like a similar story or you know, a similar vibe. So, I’d say for me, like one of those people would be JP Sears like he’s doing a good job of mixing comedy and spy.

Brandon Handley 17:46

Yeah, you know, yeah. Okay, I see that for you.

Brandon Marshall Havener 17:50

Yeah, so So with that, not only are you finding communities with like minded people that you can start adding into your social media. You also have an incentive. Have somebody who’s already doing what you want to do. And it’s like you building a community with some people who also love JP Sears and a few other people that you admire, like that’s just one of the most brilliant ways because you’re producing something that is on the same value level and like the energy level, but also like a similar topic that works with them, but you’re also bringing your own flavor into it. So it’s just like a good it’s a good strategy of knowing who’s going to be more receptive to your work. And this isn’t perfect, like if you’re just starting out you you’re going to evolve you’re going to change and you’re going to learn new things, but it’s realizing that market research a big part of market research is actually starting the conversation and rather what whether it’s perfect or not, like just having that imperfect conversation and and letting it be more of a test rather than taking it personal. And then I would say the method there is Like, what I was taught was like a three by three by three method. So like, find three people communicate with three different communities. So like, whether it’s through people’s statuses or their Facebook groups or whatever it may be, and just have fun conversations like, like you’re going to a party, you know, you’re not selling hard or anything like that. You’re just, you know, having fun and communicating with people online. And then add three of those people today and and engage on three posts of theirs that you you resonate with. I think I put a lot of threes in that, but

Brandon Handley 19:38

that’s good enough that I mean, it’s really good, right? But I mean, I think that um, and I can go I can go back to when I first started, right, it was a spam friend, everybody, try and get them all in your group and then sell them on your stuff, right? Yeah. So there’s a lot of missing nuances in that strategy.

Brandon Marshall Havener 19:57

I was taught to comment and like and message them right away. Right? I disagree with that. Now I agree with like, having conversations in their comments section. By the way, a big thing is that you actually resonate with the status rather than pretending like Yeah, great. I liked your dog. Right? And you actually hate dogs. But um, for sure, but like, you know, I just, you know, comment and engage with people with no attachment of if they’re gonna join my group or buy my stuff. Like, right there, I started the conversation and then you know, they’re coming up on my profile and having a conversation. It’s more of a it’s more of like a gradual build. You want it to feel as natural as possible rather than forced or like forcing yourself to introduce yourself for sure because the relationship will grow like there’s one person that I found and I thought his video was absolutely I thought his content and his video was absolutely amazing. And you know, he His he lives in DC. So that’s cool. And I thought like, hey, that could be a future friend actually. But then two days ago see I’m I’m talking about like a budding bromance now. Two days ago, He’s, uh, you know, he’s spouting off on his livestream that I win the best content of the, you know, month award. So like, right there, you’re building a relationship. And the same thing goes with attracting clients. And that’s exactly how my relationship started to. She found me in a Facebook group and fell in love with my content. I fell in love with her content. And then we went on a first date, and we did a live stream together. So awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. It’s great for building amazing relationships

Brandon Handley 21:45

now. Yeah. So I love it. Right, because again, it’s the whole spam Enos aspect of it, right. And I think Yeah, those days are gone, which is actually kind of nice, right? But you brought up the bromance part. I just want I just remembered like I met a guy, you know, when I was in North Carolina and we got together we had some lunch and stuff. He goes out What are you looking for? I was like, I’m looking for a lifelong friendship and I think you like right there. He like kind of just cut it off. Right? But But also, you kind of talk what I’m hearing you say too, is it’s a little bit like a mush. Are you a story brand? person? Have you? Are you familiar with like, you know, you date date date, you asked for marriage? Somebody says, No, you date you date some more? Yes. for marriage. You know what I mean? So you continue on that relationship. And every once in a while, I mean, you go to sell them, right, like, all right, every once in a while, I was like, here’s the line. Are we are we are we together forever now? Okay, let’s take some more. You know, is that what you’re saying?

Brandon Marshall Havener 22:41

Yeah, something like that. Like, you know, like I see. I see like my Facebook community or my Instagram community, I guess, you know, people that can interact with and are like minded and who would enjoy my content, and often I enjoy their content. And then I’m open about my programs. So more like attraction marketing, where it’s like, I’m gonna put my stuff out there every day. I know, in the internet marketing rules, I think some people say I only mentioned a program one out of every 20 times, right? I kind of blow those rules out of the water. And every day I’m promoting, you know, a new program that’s, you know, that I’m doing. And I think one piece of resistance that people will think about that is, is that being too salesy, or you know, are you selling too much, and it’s shifting the mentality. One part of my mentality is if people can walk away with this content for free and benefit off of it, but then I have no problem with putting a call to action at the end of it, and telling people how they can reach the next level. And then another part of the mentality is that I’m inviting them rather than hard selling them, and it’s going to be a win win situation for them because they’re exchanging money and they’re getting an awesome service work.

Brandon Handley 23:58

Yeah, I mean, Well, listen, I don’t know how How many programs you’ve actually consumed yourself that have been free and you’re like, you know what, this one was free. I don’t care. Yeah versus versus I paid $500 for this, I’m gonna finish this shit. Huh?

Brandon Marshall Havener 24:12

Right and energetic spiritual sense. A lot of times my clients will join a program didn’t read one piece of content and then money drops in for them or same thing happens on the other end of things like money will drop in for me when I make an online investment. I think even most recently my girlfriend hired a new coach. I think it was like a 2500 package and less than 24 hours she received 2000 like just insane thing. Yeah, it’s pretty great for itself.

Brandon Handley 24:44

Yeah, and that’s pretty crazy. Kind of like once you release it, it comes right back, right. Yeah, I you know, I’ve been a big fan of recently More more recently than not is like, you know, if I if I send this money out, I’m expecting to come back with his friends. Yeah, right. And like, you know, so But that but that can be a challenge. Now, let’s talk about that a little bit too is like, you invested in yourself, like very heavily at one point. And it sounds like at one point maybe meant like too much.

Brandon Marshall Havener 25:11

But yeah,

Brandon Handley 25:12

what would you say the return of your investments have been? And was it too much?

Brandon Marshall Havener 25:17

Well, right now, it wasn’t too much. But if you if you go into the mentality of, you know, I making this investment and I need the money back tomorrow, or you’re putting yourself on an island in survival mode, that’s when it becomes detrimental. But I would even say like, the big investments I made back in 2015 is still paying dividends in my business, my relationship and all the things because it’s like, I wouldn’t be in the relationship I’m in now if I didn’t have the tools or I didn’t go to those retreats. I just want to be as awakened. I, you know, we wouldn’t be talking about the things we talk I wouldn’t be on this podcast. But where I went wrong is I played this peer pressure game of saying yes to every single thing. I was kind of like in circles of where there’s these hardcore sales bros and stuff like that, where, you know, there’s kind of like this masculine ego of saying no to investing in yourself. So I was constantly saying yes to things even and getting to a point where I was abandoning my own financial values. And there’s also a lot of lingo in the coaching industry, where it’s like, if you don’t invest in yourself, or if you don’t have a one on, you know, one on one coach or mastermind or whatever, how can you be selling coaching so I was always putting that pressure on myself to like, really amplify things to the top level and sort of like, take ridiculous leaps that that put me into situations that I shouldn’t have been in and how I would change that. is just to take it slower, you know, I would have made some of the same investments. But I wouldn’t have I wouldn’t have abandoned myself, I would have said no to a lot more things than I then. I did back then.

Brandon Handley 27:14

Sure, sure. But I mean, you know, in the end, though,

Brandon Marshall Havener 27:18

you’re here now, right? You kind of meet

Brandon Marshall Havener 27:20

Mike. Like, I can look back and say I would have changed it, but I also think I don’t, you know, I don’t regret it. And maybe I want to so it’s a weird catch. 22 right there,

Brandon Handley 27:32

not for sure. Sure. I love to that you you’d mentioned that, uh, you know, you got almost as much value out of some of the lower cost products as you did from some of the higher cost products. I’m curious myself, like, what were some of the ones in the lower end? And you know, and the top end that really brought and changed

Brandon Marshall Havener 27:51

the way Yeah, I would say one big thing was actually when it was like I couldn’t do you know, I couldn’t do any high end stuff anymore. Like I’ve been I went to the brim of what I could do my capacity there and then I think it was like a it might have been a $500 course back in 2016 and it was a manifestation course and what are not only did I learn more about journaling and manifestation I also realize what I was doing with my marketing that wasn’t aligned for me so at that time I stopped booking my my days with sales calls all the time where I was stopped hiding my prices, and not saying any of that stuff is bad. A lot of people succeed with that stuff. But it wasn’t working for me like it just wasn’t. And I noticed that I was thriving more when I was more transparent about my prices, I was more open and I was using my content to pull people in. Rather than thinking I had to book a bunch of calls with people or falling even falling into the mentality that the only way out could transform lives was high ticket like, I was meant to do a lot of low ticket because and I think one big indicator is if you’re an artist or a content creator that loves content, you’re probably designed to do a lot of low ticket stuff, not just low ticket stuff, but you know, you probably are designed and you may hear a message from a lot of high ticket coaches, that high ticket is on the way cuz that’s a way that they’re selling. So that’s a big one that I learned and then later on, you know, I was going through, you know, some previous relationship turmoil with an ex, back back full circle to what started personal development, right. But I remember joining a program for like, $300 and the day a day or two after, you know, the relationship broke apart and it was it was meant to happen, but it was painful, right. And I you know, I just liked it. Myself heeling in ways that, you know, I didn’t realize I needed to do, I was like holding on to an old relationship. And it just like broke that wide open the moment I joined the program, and I wouldn’t be here today, if I didn’t go through that work.

Brandon Handley 30:16

Now. That’s great. That’s great. And, you know, I think that I’ve also heard you say, you leverage this kind of like the compound effect to it’s these small investments and even some of the big ones that, you know, even if you expect that result to happen today, like you said, right, like, come from a place of scarcity, like listen, I just dropped like 20 k this year, and I’m gonna meet all that back right now. Right? And that can be scary to put yourself in that position. But over time that the dividends start adding up that one can kind of say,

Brandon Marshall Havener 30:45

Yeah, absolutely. And I think it’s crucial, you know, some coaches may not agree, you know, with this message or like, wait, you can’t tell people this. By it’s so crucial not to put yourself into survival mode. And saying this has that and put that on your heart, you know, and you you’re you’re making it a lot harder for you to be creative and in manifestation mode and open to receiving and all of that stuff. So, you know stretch you know, stretch your investments and increase your capacity you know, do some of the scary stuff but don’t do it in a place of wait if I make this investment I’m not going to pay rent for three, you know, is gonna This is like three months of rent. So I really consider that.

Brandon Handley 31:31

Not me. I think it’s an important message. Right? I I you know, I hate to bring up Tony Robbins, but I’ll bring up Tony Robbins. I still remember like, one of his messages and one of his earlier tapes is he’s talking to Al Gore. Right? And Al Gore said, I didn’t lose because of XYZ and Tony Robbins like no, you’ll get lost because you weren’t resourceful enough, right? And I think that if you open yourself up to what’s possible, and you’re not going at all this stuff from a scarcity mindset, right? As in like it’s urgent this has to happen. You might find like there’s a whole bunch of different ways to get what you need to get what you want. And I’ll say this because my first my first program I took I put it on a credit card and then like for some reason like I don’t know why I didn’t think to get like a small personal loan or something which is so easy to get right and wouldn’t had like to worry and panic about paying off the debt on the credit card as fast right? So, you know, for for anybody’s out there like, I mean, listen, there’s there’s programs from $50 to you know, 25 grand, depending on your, your tastes, right. But when you’re coming at it, don’t come at it from like, you have to have that money in your pocket today. You don’t have to put it on a credit card. There’s other ways to kind of get that money as well. So I’m just gonna leave it with that right? Just because,

Brandon Marshall Havener 32:47

yeah, it

Brandon Marshall Havener 32:48

doesn’t have to just be on your credit card. Right? That’s, that’s huge, because oftentimes, when we’re stuck in our head, and we only look at it through one narrow vision, we think that the things that we want to obtain is hard. But if you allow yourself to open up your mind and ask yourself, you know, maybe even journal it out and ask the question of like, what are all the ways that I can make this happen? Then you find multiple solutions and then you you get out of your head and you realize, wait, manifesting that thing is a lot easier than I thought it was, you know, something that I noticed with me was support like having cleaning, you know, cleaning service and all that stuff. I thought that was like, I was just conditioned at a young age thinking that that’s what only rich people do, or, you know, like you it was like, super expensive, but then you just like look at it, it’s like, oh, you know, $100 or so or this is you know, this percent of my income, whatever. That’s not that’s not bad. You know, right. I think we kind of look at support as some a lot of times you look at support as something that’s unreachable when it for many people is probably reachable now and will open up a lot.

Brandon Handley 33:56

I was looking at it as if you can go spend like 60 bucks for a case study. 120 bucks at a night at the bar, like maybe if you don’t do that spend that money at the bar, you might be able to spend that like on getting a house cleaner and having these other things or, you know, maybe saving up for some of these courses or someplace that might have a benefit. Right? And look, man, if you’re going to the bar and hanging out there, I don’t care you do you right? Nothing wrong with that, because Lord knows I spent a lot of money in the bars myself. Right. So well, you

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:27

can’t be doing that

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:28

now. No, no, I mean, look, I mean,

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:31

time, hey,

Brandon Handley 34:32

it’s a bad idea. It’s a bad idea. But be it’s just like, you know, when you really look at it, like you probably do have the resources to do some of these things. You just been using those resources in other areas, right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:46

Yeah. And sometimes we kind of look at that through our old conditioning and patterns that probably our parents told us or the people that were raising us told us and we got to like take a step back and be like, wait, what’s really possible?

Brandon Marshall Havener 34:59

Right? Yeah, well Hey look at me

Brandon Handley 35:00

so I love I love so spirituality right

Brandon Marshall Havener 35:04

I don’t know what your kind of your approaches

Brandon Handley 35:06

but with you know your spiritual self what is impossible what’s impossible yeah with with with spirituality is there anything that’s not possible

Brandon Marshall Havener 35:18

I guess there’s nothing really impossible you know it probably probably be tough to walk on water but shit maybe there’s a way the

Brandon Handley 35:27

right shoes will do it man the right shoes though but i mean you know so because and the reason I kind of bring this up because a man says you rise to your level of thinking right so if you’re thinking of yourself as a human being you kind of think of yourself as just what you see here right and and all these other things and if you can think of yourself as a spiritual being, you know well then then automatically like I’m no longer Am I confined to just like my tangibles, right. The things I can see, hear, touch and smell the immediate senses. So I was just curious kind of what your take is on that. the mindset of spirituality.

Brandon Marshall Havener 36:01

Yeah, I just think quantum physics is so interesting because it’s like the idea that this computer’s not solid, or I’m not like, I don’t have my arms on the table right now. It’s all just like a projection from our mind. Yeah, I think like, there’s so much that’s possible. I think we’re kind of like in these constraints in the human experience, in a way, but I think it’s all it’s all by belief. Now, I don’t know if you know, I can’t tell everyone listening to this are going to walk through a door, something like that. Right. Right. I mean, closed door, but yeah, I think there’s, I think there’s like just a lot that we don’t know. Yeah, there’s a lot available to us that we have no idea and we’re sort of like on the tip of the iceberg of what we know or what we’re actually seeing. Or, you know, like, it’s like, you know, just by human vision, there’s probably a lot more around me right now that I don’t see.

Brandon Handley 36:59

I mean, they say you you’d only see like 99 or like, you know, 99.9% of like the light spectrum, you cannot see. So it’s like, I mean, there’s, you know, what am I missing? Right? What am I? What am I not seeing? Not as curious kind of on your take there. Right? And, you know, it’s funny that you bring up those, like, you know, what we know today what we think we know today, right? It is like just barely part of it. I mean, I was literally just reading an article that, oh, today they figured out sperm doesn’t swim the same way that they’ve always thought that it swam. So it’s like, it’s like, what how do we even get here but but even on top of that, right? Do you you know, do you Brandon know how your hair grows but you’re doing it right? Do you know how like your you know, your white blood cells inside of your own body that are closest thing to you that can be close to you? Do you know how that happens? But it’s fucking happening.

Brandon Marshall Havener 37:52

And that’s the thing you know, the main thing I think about is like wealth. You know, when people look at money, we try to I think our ego really tries to figure out like, how am I going to manifest this thing? Or how am I going to do it? And it’s kind of taking a step back and having that same thought process of our hair growing. It’s like, what if I just allowed it to happen? What if I just got out of the way and let it happen?

Brandon Handley 38:17

Yeah, that’s the whole Jesus take the wheel thing, right? Or, you know, let go and let God right. And this is like, but it’s terrifying to think in that way. I don’t know if you’ve read the Michael singer surrender experiment book. No, I haven’t read that one. But I mean, it talks exactly the same thing, though. Like, at some point. He’s like, God, just kind of I just kind of let go and let the let the universe take care of me ended up like a billion dollar company. I was like, Okay. I don’t know how you just fall into that shit. But, you know, I’m sure there had to be some involvement with it. But you know, so that’s what he said though. He said he felt like he just kind of opened up and let the things just kind of carry on through so and it should be as easy right? share this with you too I got this um I ordered a you know one of those mixed up incense packs right because well should be just as easy as as breathing right I’m not sure if you had anybody ever say why should this be just like breathing for you like what it’s not so put it hasn’t been up to this point so I got this I this is not an ad this is a this is it says money matrix it’s um you know incense so if I’m burning money matrix and money incense to it is just as easy so I get myself kind of conditioned to breathing in money so anyways,

Brandon Marshall Havener 39:37

I would have been a perfect dad though you might have to get an affiliate link,

Brandon Handley 39:40

if I can find one. So so the investing itself would cover kind of the compound effect. These are all things that have jotted down for you. I’ve heard you you know, I’d love to hear some more of your influences. I heard you mentioned kind of Hicks mentioned Dyer. I’m assuming you know you you’ve read the compound effect. The book what are some other like kind of influences and spaces? That a tune in today that are helping you on your way?

Brandon Marshall Havener 40:11

Yeah, so one of my one of my mentors and you know, I’ve gone through so many of our programs is Katrina Ruth. And I really like her because she has like the rebel, the mixture of like the rebel hustle vibe, but also the deep spiritual vibe and like when I found her like, that was a, you know, some of the programs that I did that were, you know, mid ticket and stuff that I was talking about. When I found her like, I was kind of like in the mixture of the spirituality and the hustle balance. So she really helped me break some of the rules and really become, you know, step into who I am today. That was really powerful. I really love some of Matt Kahn’s work like even just going on YouTube. And he has a book whatever arises love that or everything that arises love that something along the lines of that right and let’s see what book Am I reading right now? So this is a mixture of stuff because I go for Matt calm that’s like talking about love what arises and right now I’m reading Jocko willick Hi Yeah, I’ve been Navy dude yeah and like leadership strategies so I’m kind of diving into more masculine work as well. Ryan Metzler he has an awesome podcast order of man Andy for so real AF podcast so like is you know a mixture of that masculine energy and you know spiritual energy and I like to you know, I kind of like taking on like all that stuff.

Brandon Handley 41:47

Yeah. I love that I Ryan I interviewed on like a on my father had podcast years ago so they put me in touch with him. So, you know, it’s pretty cool. Definitely, you know, definitely intense right and kind of how it does Same but you know that that’s him, right? That’s t he is unabashedly himself. Oh, at least two he believes he is today. Right. And that’s, I love that. And, you know, I want to talk about that too is kind of how you talked about, you know, doing the things that you felt like you had to do, right, like, you know, the doing, doing the different types of methodologies and reaching out but then kind of winding it back so that you become yourself again. Yep. Yeah, talk about that a little bit so people can understand it. Understand it So, sure.

Brandon Marshall Havener 42:33

Yeah, I think it’s like kind of similar to the concept we were talking about when you only find one solution with the credit card but on a personal loan, and it’s like the same thing you may hear like a bunch of coaches and people that you’re following saying, this is how you do it, your sales call, do it this way. And then you’re convincing yourself like okay, what it must mean I’m unproductive if I’m not reaching out to people every single day or whatever, right? Matter of fact, I was in the trap of thinking that content was actually just fun for me. And reaching out to people was a real work. So if I did content that day, but I didn’t reach out to someone, I didn’t do enough work. So it’s just realizing and I think it’s seeking out and being curious about, if this doesn’t feel fully right of how I’m doing it and how I’m doing the business rules, what are some things that I get to do that would feel more expansive for me? So, you know, there’s so many different methods and strategies to build business, your business or personal development in general, really, but it’s really about finding that one align strategy that works with you like clockwork, and if you’re meeting a lot of resistance behind it alignment to that it’s something that should first be questioned.

Brandon Handley 43:54

The alignment should be

Brandon Marshall Havener 43:55

Yeah, sure

Brandon Handley 43:56

that that’s happening. Um, I like I think, I think you also talks about a little bit of perseverance. So to write, like, you know not to just stop, like, you know, if, if you’re aligned, and you’re like, Hey, I’m totally aligned, and then like, something kind of pops up in a way like, ah, I gotta go the other way and do something else. I mean, kind of getting past like, I don’t know if you’re a fan or if you’ve ever read Ryan holidays, the obstacles the way. But you know, that obstacle, that thing that gets thrown up in front of your alignment may be the thing that you need thrown up in your way so that you can expand and get beyond it to the rest of your alignment, which is on the other side of that shit.

Brandon Marshall Havener 44:35

Yeah, like be able to ask questions of what else can I try? What else can I do? What would what would work here? Rather than just hiding in the corner and being like, God doesn’t work? This sucks. Nothing works. Right? Well ask questions.

Brandon Handley 44:48

Yeah. What are some questions you like when something’s not working?

Brandon Marshall Havener 44:52

One thing I’d like just I wonder what else I get to try. You know, I wonder I wonder what else would work I wonder what would Feel expansive for me to do today? You know, and journaling it out when you get it out of your head, it really helps. And that’s something that I learned. I don’t know if you you’ve read gay Hendricks a big leap.

Brandon Handley 45:13

Not got it though. Sitting on my bookshelf

Brandon Marshall Havener 45:16

that is one of the most important books, okay.

Brandon Marshall Havener 45:20

It’s the upper limit problem. And he talks about like, drift, you know, there’s so many ways that we drift, like if we get distracted scrolling our newsfeed or binge eating or whatever it may be. But there’s only a few shift moves to get us into alignment and power again, and one of the major ones is curiosity. And so it’s like getting curious when you’re hitting an obstacle. That helps shift you back into alignment. Rather, I think one of people’s go to people’s go to response if they hit a hidden objective is to be like, Okay, let me distract myself with something. Let me go on the news. Let me either thing or whatever it may be. So I’m just asking that question and journaling it out and truly help.

Brandon Handley 46:06

Now I think that’s super beneficial. definitely helpful for anybody, you know, when you when you hit that obstacle, stop, pause and be like, how else can I process right? Like, this isn’t? This isn’t in my way again, this isn’t in my way, this is the way what you know, or, you know, I like the, the story of like, diamonds in my backyard, right? Like, the whole diamonds in the backyard stories, like, you know, you travel all over the world, look over the thing that you’ve got right there in front of you, right? So, you know, take that opportunity to step back and don’t get pensive, right, like, you know, you take that gasp and like you feel like you’ve got to figure it out right now. No, you don’t. You don’t have to figure it out right now. Take a breath. And how else can you approach it like Brandon saying,

Brandon Marshall Havener 46:46

I co facilitated event with a mentor of mine while back and I remember an exercise that we did that was really helpful in a physical sense, where, you know, you pair two people together and the dots go away. To get past that person that other person’s post a block you, right, I let you get past them. Yeah. And basically what we learned from that is if you try to use force, you’re not going to get past that person or, you know, unless you know, you’ve really got violent but that was part of the exercise right? By the solution ended up being is like if you could make them laugh or you did some goofy stuff or something like that, then you could find your way around them. And that’s sort of like every problem in life. It’s like when you when you can pattern interrupt or have fun within rather than being tense and strict and or even add breaths to the situation. The obstacle starts to dissolve.

Brandon Handley 47:41

Love it, love it. I think one of the other things I’ve heard too is is that laughter which is what you bring, right? You bring some good humor and some fun, that helps people. Remember things and I’m not sure what you found in terms of how laughter can be beneficial. What have you. What have you found

Brandon Marshall Havener 48:00

Yeah, so so with laughter, there’s a few things but like with laughter It’s really, it really lowers people’s resistance and allows people to receive stuff. So instead of being all tense or combative with people, you know, you can really get a message across. If you can have somebody laughing. They may might not even agree with the opinion, but now they’re laughing. And they’re actually considering it. But I think the first thing I started about laughter and I think it was like Marilyn Monroe saying, Do you know if you could get a girl to laugh, you can date or write it or do anything or something like that. And dating was my first thing that I was working on. So I was like, hey, if I can learn to be funny, then you know, I can be attractive to women. So like, but the same thing goes with clients and people in general. Like if you can get them to laugh, they’ll want to be around you.

Brandon Handley 48:50

For sure. For sure. I’d much rather hang out with somebody who’s making me laugh and making me cry or too serious, right? So very cool, man. So I want to talk about what you’ve got running out. out there right now your current offering, which is the sole troll, Tell me Tell us a little bit about what’s happened with the soul troll.

Brandon Marshall Havener 49:05

Yeah, that’s a perfect follow up for laughter So soul troll is really being able to I notice no one’s having fun on the internet like, I mean, some people are having fun but like a lot of people aren’t having fun on the internet. We’re having

Brandon Handley 49:17

fun with them. They’re getting fucking cup of it. Yeah.

Brandon Marshall Havener 49:20

Like he’s hypersensitive times and all that stuff. So I really want to bring that back where people can tell the truth, make people laugh, have a good time and speak the message that they really wanted to in the first place. So, you know, I think down more than ever, is it’s important to speak the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable. So doing that in a fun way. And somebody actually messaged me about soul troll the other day and she was asking me, like, about a situation where a woman was upset about something she posted that might have been offensive and she was walking on eggshells. So like something else that I’m bringing with soul troll is going deep. into when are you actually responsible for offending someone and hurting somebody? And when is it somebody projecting on to you? So it’s like, being able to balance being fully expressed without feeling like you’re harming or being an asshole in the process.

Brandon Handley 50:17

That’s fair. I mean, look, I mean, I think I think a lot I think that’s a huge benefit, right? So we don’t want to run around and be a bunch of, you know, bag of dicks, right? That’s, that’s not not most people. That’s not their intent. Right. Want to go out there? Give some value and have some fun, right without hurting someone. Right, you know, you know, too bad anyways, right? Yeah. Don’t want to rough them up too bad. But have some fun. It sounds to me like you’re building some resilience is Isn’t that right?

Brandon Marshall Havener 50:46

Oh, yeah, absolutely. You know, it’s like the more and more that you put yourself out there then you realize it’s all fun like for me. I know like canceling people is the thing and stuff but like for me if someone a group of people got mad at me, I have fun. Little bit. I actually wanted in some way but that since I desired so much, I think I’d pushed that away. I don’t think people want to cancel me anymore. So I don’t

Brandon Handley 51:11

know man. So really I had a lot of fun here guys. I think there’s a anybody’s listening to this. I think there’s a lot of value in Brandon and what you’ve brought here today. And thanks for sharing. I you know what I did want to touch on this last piece right was it’s like, I don’t think we’ve touched on it in the podcast, which is like coming from a place of spirituality, and how scary that was for you and what, how did it open up for you after you started leading with spirituality?

Brandon Marshall Havener 51:38

I think it was scary for me in many ways because, you know, wondering if a family was going to think I was crazy or friends and peers. So that was it was something that I had to lean into and and deal with the judgment or I think one big thing is having a stable job, like so is mixed with entrepreneurship. And I remember my dad was kind of pushed trying to push me into being a like an electrician or something which is fairly out of the rubble what I would do good. So I think a big thing that I had to do was stand up to that even saying, like, No, I just want to do this coaching thing and maybe have them feel like I’m a weirdo or I’m out of my mind for a minute by like detaching myself from my parents expectations or my family expectations and go in my own way, even when people don’t believe in it.

Brandon Handley 52:29

Yeah, that’s, that must have been tough, too. Right? attaching from that feeling. So I think that’s super important for people to hear and understand. It’s like, you know, kind of go your own way right. Letting Go. And you said it earlier to was kind of be open to kind of everything but attached like nothing type of thing.

Brandon Marshall Havener 52:46

Yeah. Right. A big thing was having a job too. There was like shame and not having a job. When it was going full time into business. It was really helpful having a mastermind that like everyone was like, Hey, you know, actually yeah. You know, like, cuz like all my life people would be like wager quitting your job. Why? So that was really helpful as well.

Brandon Handley 53:07

That’s great. So where should people go to find you?

Brandon Marshall Havener 53:13

You can find me I’ll say two things. Sorry I offended you podcasts. You can find it on iTunes, Spotify, Google, whatever else it’s on. It’s on like 50 like 50,000 platforms but uh or you could also go to spiritual smart ass, read calm and find my social media links and current programs and stuff like that.

Brandon Marshall Havener 53:35

Who’s your ideal client?

Brandon Marshall Havener 53:37

My ideal client is the artist that is the artist, the rebel. You know, the people that want to break the rules and the people who want to express a unique sense of art and maybe they didn’t feel like the rules made sense in business for them, but they want to put they want to apply that to business. They don’t want it to be a hobby. They want to be respected as a business owner. While also respecting their own creativity.

Brandon Marshall Havener 54:04

Awesome, man. Thanks for joining me

Brandon Marshall Havener 54:05

today. Absolutely. Thank you for having me.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Come on in and check out this interview with the Clicks and Mortar Queen Donnalynn Riley.

Donna tells an amazing story of how she went from being the CEO of a retail chain to becoming a Spiritual Coach who is helping entrepreneurs bring ALL of who they are to their businesses.

Connect with Donnalynn here at her site:

https://www.donnalynnriley.com/

Also, Donnalynn has a 5 Day Masterclass you can sign up for in order: Get Out Of Your Head,
Embrace Your Imperfections &
Get On Track With Your Business!

https://www.donnalynnriley.com/5dc-reg

  • user avatarbrandon handley00:02All right, 54321 Hey there, spiritual dope. I’m on today with Donna Lynn Riley, who is a licensed spiritual health coach who helps people develop evolve and grow.
  • 00:17The answers they find that their journey, bring them to a new level clarity and emotional adjustment to help them develop their expertise in business systems management and marketing.
  • 00:25And addition to her 12 years as a licensed coach her background is the CEO of a multimillion dollar corporation.
  • 00:31informs her ability to help her clients navigate the inner workings of business systems Operations Management and Marketing so they can successfully put it all together themselves.
  • 00:42I’m going to cut it down because that, that’s great. And I’m so excited because, as we’re going back and forth a little bit here earlier. This is exactly what this podcast is about. So thank you for joining me today.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley00:53Oh, it’s my pleasure. It’s great what you’re doing. It’s great that you’re talking about this. It’s really good.
  • user avatarbrandon handley00:58Thank you. Thank you. So you mentioned that you’d call it a couple of podcasts. So what I always like to say is you know you’re here today. We’re using this podcast as a vehicle to send somebody out there a message, what is it that they need to hear this coming through you today.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley01:17Well, I always think people need to know that life can be a lot easier than we’re making it. I think that that’s a place where
  • 01:29Almost invariably people don’t believe that. Right. They just go like, nah, couldn’t be that I got to work harder. I gotta do more. I gotta you know think more
  • 01:43I have to put out more effort. It’s got a cost more. There’s got to be a big, you know, emotional or financial cost to the things that I want in life and really
  • 01:54Life can be so much easier than we make it. And I think that that’s the benefit of of this approach of a spiritual practice that supports.
  • 02:06Business life and certainly family life, when I know lots of coaches who do that as well. And, you know, really kind of make it better, just make your life better.
  • user avatarbrandon handley02:16Yeah, no, absolutely. So the idea is that life doesn’t have to be so hard.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley02:21Really doesn’t
  • user avatarbrandon handley02:23And and also throw out there. I think in the first person that I know that’s worked on Broadway. Right. And this is this is a story that you tell
  • 02:30In one of your one of your videos right and helping once you tell people use that story real quick here right now. I love that story about just what you said there.
  • 02:41Do you remember so so I’ll take it away. So you were around 19 your brothers like 10 years old or new
  • 02:47Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
  • 02:50Yeah yeah
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley02:50Okay, okay. I gotcha. Sorry about that.
  • 02:54I was like I was there a long time. I don’t know.
  • user avatarbrandon handley02:58Just getting into it right and
  • 02:59How easy how easy sometimes
  • 03:01For you.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley03:01Yeah. So what I love about that is that, um, so. Okay, so let me let me kind of lay it out here so I’m like 19 years old I
  • 03:11You know, I’m just out the gate. Right. But I’m 10 foot tall and bulletproof because so was everybody when you’re 19
  • user avatarbrandon handley03:18Right. Yeah, absolutely.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley03:19And so when you’re not very dinged up
  • 03:22You know, you just think like everything’s okay and it’s going to work out for me and I kind of lived my life like that really clearly I wanted, and I got things I wanted them and they lined up.
  • 03:35So, um, I found myself on on Broadway, which I totally expected right because I wanted it. So, and I didn’t know any better, and
  • 03:46And my brother who’s 10 years older than I am. He, he knew better. And he is a he is still actually a scenic artist. And so I was a sound designer. He was a scenic artist and
  • 04:01He was working down the block. So I was working on Angels in America, and he was working on City of Angels, which I love that. But there were all these angel references. That’s kind of
  • user avatarbrandon handley04:14Sure, yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley04:15And. And he said, Oh, let’s, um, he was like down the block. And I hadn’t seen him in months. It wasn’t like, you know, we were spending Sunday night dinners together or something.
  • 04:24And he said, Let’s go for lunch. And I was like, yeah, this is great. Yeah, owning the town, you know, in my, in my own head, right.
  • 04:32Sure. And he said, you, you. He’s walking me to the to the place to get something to eat and
  • 04:40He said, You just don’t have any idea what it costs to get here. You don’t have any idea what these people around you have had to do to get where they want to go and in typical sort of 19 year old fashion. I thought, nope.
  • user avatarbrandon handley04:59Right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley04:59I don’t care.
  • 05:00Sure, you know, really, for me, I realized that it is a story that’s centered around entitlement. Right, so it’s not very popular this moment, but
  • 05:10Being able to see yourself.
  • 05:13In the position that you want to be to be able to know that these are things that can happen for you as well as somebody else because
  • 05:24You put the work in and you are talented and you did you know you met the right people and you were in the right place and you took the all the steps to get there.
  • user avatarbrandon handley05:32Right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley05:33There by choice. You don’t get to be on Broadway. If you suck.
  • 05:37You do not need. All right.
  • 05:39All right, but they send you home.
  • user avatarbrandon handley05:42Well, you know, I think.
  • 05:43I think that um I love how you’re hitting on entitlement in this insane and in this way because why should it not
  • 05:53Backup people like people bash millennials for kind of having like that kind of entitlement thing. Right. Well, what I admire about that, you know, I think that they would say you got Moxie kid right like kinda back in, but
  • 06:07You know what you want and you’re not settling for something that you don’t. So is that entitlement, or is that knowing your worth.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley06:17Right. It’s really tricky. It’s really tricky and it is a lot about alignment and I’ve been fortunate to hear you talk about alignment on the podcast previously and
  • 06:28It’s a really crucial step in that process. So,
  • 06:34Of course, if we want to get kind of
  • 06:37Cultural about it, then we can we can sort of back it up a little and say, Well, some people have a lot of things that support the belief already in their lives when they’re born, and when they’re, you know, one and two and three and so it, it becomes
  • 06:55There becomes a divide, but it’s a divide in belief.
  • user avatarbrandon handley07:00100%
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley07:00You know, so it’s a it is a really tricky thing. And the important thing for me in the work that I do with people.
  • 07:09Is to whether you’ve ever experienced that belief or not before is to help you to find that belief because without it is very, very, very difficult to get where you want to go. I, I know people who have done it. It’s like they kind of stumbled into their success and that’s okay.
  • user avatarbrandon handley07:25That’s true, but it’s not very reliable.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley07:29And so, you know, doing the inner work to create a system of belief for yourself so that
  • 07:36It doesn’t sound crazy that you’re going to have a successful business or that you’re going to get a client that you want to or that you’re going to get employees that work out well for you and things like that. I’m doing that inner work makes
  • 07:51All the outer stuff kind of
  • 07:52Line up real quick, like the story I just told where I went from two years or three years I spent in sound design, we’re learning from the best in the business. I was already learning from the people who were there, right.
  • 08:06And and and and so I was able to do that very quickly, where a lot of my classmates in college got there 1015 years later, and they worked a lot harder for something because they didn’t believe
  • 08:23They didn’t know
  • 08:23They thought, oh, I have to go out and do something else first
  • user avatarbrandon handley08:27Right. We listen, even me today, right now with this podcast. I love it so much. I want to put this, I want to put this
  • 08:36Nice polish on, I want to make it feel so good. I want it to be inviting you know
  • 08:40That, you know, and this isn’t wrong to hire somebody in marketing, but I like I really want these pieces I wanted to look so I want it to be so accepted because it’s so
  • 08:48meaningful to me right so I’m putting these blocks in
  • 08:53For myself, right. I’m just putting these. Oh, I gotta do this like nothing can happen until this happens and all these other things and and literally that is in my own mind, nobody else’s. I mean, nobody nobody else cares. That’s just me. Right.
  • 09:07Right. So when you’re out there.
  • 09:11And your clientele and and you’re working I do they seek you out for one or the other, do you introduce like you know
  • 09:20To the business pressure, like, well, if you just loop in some spirituality, then this might be better for you, like, tell me a little bit how this process of working with you, looks
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley09:30Yeah, so I kind of stand between that space right I stand between entrepreneurs and small business people who are
  • 09:40That’s what they do. That’s what they’ve learned. They have a strong background or they have a strong desire but they don’t necessarily have any spiritual practice at all.
  • 09:49And I sort of stand between that and the people who are very spiritually open but can’t figure out how to turn the computer on right
  • 09:59And rent like can’t figure out the details of, like, how do I charge people. And why would they pay me and
  • 10:06These kinds of like nuanced things that, of course, they have a lot of talent and they have a lot of
  • 10:13Value in the world, but so I do kind of stand in between those two spaces, I would say that for the most part, most of the people that I work with are
  • 10:26Are on the business side but are open.
  • user avatarbrandon handley10:30Okay.
  • 10:31Because okay you can
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley10:32Sort of insert and this is not you know there are a lot of really involved spiritual practices.
  • 10:39And they have value that is beyond what I’m about to express right so this is not to disparage any spiritual practices. I think they all have a lot of value and
  • 10:51But you can in a very short period of time with with not a ton of work right. You don’t have to go and study with the monks for 18 years right with with putting a practice into your life. You can attain a lot of result and a lot of ease in your life.
  • 11:12A lot less frustration, a lot of movement forward right so you can start to assess your situation better and access yourself in moments that are stressful better and all of these things lead to better businesses.
  • 11:30But aren’t always they’re not really taught too often.
  • user avatarbrandon handley11:35I mean, if you have the capability to kind of calm yourself down in the moment, or just realize what you’re about to say or
  • 11:43If you’re feeling tense right so what I’m hearing you say is like you’re giving them some of these tools to to really kind of ease into themselves and what they’re about.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley11:51Yeah, there’s bigger work that we do in order to make lasting change. And that really happens inside one on one trainings that I do or or inside group work that I do with people, but
  • 12:08There are so many little what we would call hacks right there, little, like, oh, if I do this, I feel a little better.
  • 12:16Right. And those are emergency hacks, you know, and they’re really useful. They’re a great way to get started. I think because
  • 12:26Getting a little relief reminds you that you’re probably going to get more relief. If you keep going in that direction. And I think that’s a great place to start, particularly for people who are
  • 12:41Who don’t have a strong spiritual background but know that like there’s something going on in my mind set or those kinds of words are being used a lot recently. Right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley12:51Right I yeah for sure. For sure. Right. Well, I mean, it’s funny because, you know, I think I started off in the mindset space right but now in this
  • 13:01Next level space right where you do this practice, like you said, For doesn’t have to be 18 years but you do it repeatedly and you start with like the mindset. You start with the small pieces and
  • 13:13You keep just kind of growing into these other spaces and these other practices that are available to and sooner or later you like I guess they were all right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley13:26I love that. Right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley13:30Right.
  • 13:31Right. So, I mean, I guess you know there’s something in those things and what they’re saying and what they’re doing.
  • 13:37But, you know, so what what led you into this pace yourself.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley13:43Well,
  • 13:45You know, that’s a good question. I, when I look back at my life. I see all these moments like the one that I just described when I’m like very young.
  • 13:54That fit into this kind of way of thinking and this way of being. But I was really pretty unaware of myself and my spirituality until actually my husband got a life threatening disease.
  • 14:15And or problem he got a tumor in his brain cavity.
  • 14:20And he when he was very young. He spent a lot of time in hospitals. And so we went to the first doctor and it was a big emergency and he said, I’m getting a second opinion. And then we went to the next doctor who you know we we finagle their way into the good doctors and all of that and
  • 14:43We went and he described it. And he said, Oh yeah, you have a little time because I’m very good at this. But, you know, you got to get in here in the next month or something. So it was no longer like a huge emergency we have little time.
  • 14:56Sure, and
  • 14:59We were driving home. It was in New York City. We live in Massachusetts. It was a long drive home. We were driving home and my husband said to me.
  • 15:06Yeah, no, I’m not. I’m not doing that I’m not doing that. I don’t know what we’re going to do, but I think you should find me another solution because I don’t, I’m not going to do that.
  • 15:17And that being that you just that just have him for you have been for me. I was like, oh,
  • 15:23Wow, okay. That should be my job.
  • 15:25Okay.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley15:29No question.
  • 15:31In fairness, I’m sure he was very overwhelmed in that moment.
  • user avatarbrandon handley15:35Right out
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley15:36Here and and so that was the beginning. That was the kickoff for me to really
  • 15:45Take a look at what is possible. So, and be completely outside the box. Yeah. So once I sort of had to be completely outside the box. Then the possibilities became very, very different.
  • 16:00So it kicked off a series of involvements with people who could help his health and who could do it in very untraditional ways
  • 16:11And also, who required of both of us that we change drastically that we, the concept that we had gotten ourselves into this mess, and that we were going to get ourselves out of this mess was not one that I heard in the doctor’s office.
  • 16:31Was and it was really clear and so
  • 16:34And within
  • 16:37A few months, we were both licensed spiritual health coaches, we probably took, I don’t know, six months, nine months, something like that for that process and we said, Okay, this is this, we’re leaning in because we are not going where that other train was going
  • 16:59Okay, so. So that’s really the beginning of when I became a much, much more aware of myself of my thoughts of my
  • 17:09Relationship to the world of my discomfort that I had become just completely accepting of right I had just said, Oh, well that’s the way life is, you know and and really be in that awareness, I found new answers.
  • user avatarbrandon handley17:28So, um, you know what, I guess the one thing is right when you’re we’re 19 and your earlier years before you
  • 17:37had developed an awareness, you would be, what would we call you know
  • 17:43Was it
  • 17:45Unconscious competence, right, like you and I were you, you were already aligning yourself and you weren’t aware that you were doing it. And then once you kind of develop this newfound awareness.
  • 17:56You were able to do this with intention and purpose.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley18:00That’s exactly right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley18:02Now, so, and also throw out like when you know so I was raised by a hippie mom grew up you know out San Francisco and she was always kicking the word awareness around right when I was growing up, I was like, I’m aware. You see me run into
  • 18:15I’ve ever run into a thing.
  • 18:18Right, I use it everything outside of me right everything outside of me. I was I was completely aware of. I didn’t miss a beat. Yeah didn’t miss a beat. But the awareness that I think that you’re talking about today is the awareness inside. Is that fair
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley18:32That’s exactly right.
  • 18:33That is exactly right and very hard to articulate. You did that quite well that
  • 18:39People, most of the time, feel like they are aware when they start working with me, they’re like, Yeah, yeah, I got that part, I need the accurate assessment. Come on, let’s get to the good stuff here.
  • 18:49And and that awareness that inner awareness and that ability to kind of be with yourself for periods of time in order to deepen that awareness is very important to the next steps. And so you’re absolutely right that people are like, I’m aware. Let’s fix my landing page.
  • user avatarbrandon handley19:16It’s all
  • 19:17It’s all marketing has nothing to do with what’s happening.
  • 19:19Right, right.
  • 19:21Nothing internal happening fixed that.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley19:23I just had that targeting right we would
  • 19:25All set. So, what what is what is like when when somebody first
  • user avatarbrandon handley19:29Starts off what’s uh what’s like one tool that you like to start them off with to
  • 19:35Begin to develop that inner awareness.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley19:39One of my favorite
  • 19:42Sort of
  • 19:47Let me go back a second here in my thinking. One of my tools that is the easiest for me to sort of give in this kind of a space.
  • 19:59Is actually
  • 20:00A little bit of mirror work. Now some people will know mirror work from different varieties of, you know, mindset work and spiritual work.
  • 20:10The mirror work that that I find is the fastest path to to becoming present
  • 20:22Which is really that first goal is just start being in your body.
  • 20:29Is a piece where you literally just sit with the mirror and look in the mirror in your eyes and say I am here.
  • 20:42Over and over and over. You’re sort of calling to yourself. Right. So there’s a lot of work that we do after that that involves breath and
  • 20:53Other types of awareness that we can
  • 20:55We can bring in
  • 20:57But
  • 20:59But that’s really the the space that I find people kind of are able to bring themselves into the room a little bit and say, oh, OK. I am actually here. Let me give this a shot. I’ll be president now.
  • user avatarbrandon handley21:12Well, I mean, cuz it’s, there’s still the physical aspect of it right, they’re still doing a physical activity, but then they’re also acknowledging that it’s them right right there in front of them and pulling themselves kind of gather right there.
  • 21:27Right, so I love that. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley21:29And it’s deliberate. It’s deliberate. So even though a lot of times when people start that process, they don’t know. It’s deliberate
  • 21:37They, they go like, well, I said the words and then I felt different. I don’t know what happened. Right. But in fact it there. There is a deliberateness to it. That is really important that you are impacting you
  • 21:53In that moment.
  • user avatarbrandon handley21:57Well, that, you know, being deliberate again, you know, intentional, knowing that you’re making this choice. I know that I kind of
  • 22:04laughed a little bit about it earlier, but you know, you get to wherever you are today. And I think this is what the spiritual coaches were probably telling you before you guys set the course that
  • 22:13You guys made the decisions to be in that situation right as as a collective even and you you guys when you first heard that you were just like what that’s done, nobody’s ever said that, you know, kind of that way right to us before
  • 22:29So, I mean, I’m assuming your husband still alive.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley22:32Oh, yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley22:35Like I hope the story has a good idea.
  • 22:37Because, you know, so
  • 22:39What happens right i mean you go in and he jumped into all this stuff, how, you know, how does it clear up on it never gets checked out again and somehow he still is what happened.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley22:48No, no. So what happens on that story is that we do the work we do the inner work and we do the emergency inner work and it is kind of emergency at that
  • 23:02Maybe for a year or so as you still feel like what’s happening.
  • 23:07And we he gets checked out again. And it’s shrinking.
  • 23:12Okay, and we have do have, I will say a spectacular doctor who’s actually a doctor.
  • user avatarbrandon handley23:20Sure, sure. And
  • 23:22It’s always handy to have one on standby.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley23:25WELL KNOW WHO DOES THIS WORK. Oh.
  • user avatarbrandon handley23:27Okay, that sounds even better yet,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley23:29He’s a trained Western doctor but functions in an Eastern paradigm
  • user avatarbrandon handley23:35Love it.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley23:36And so he his toolkit is very, very large. And he honestly I’ve seen. I’ve never seen a problem he hasn’t been able to impact positively and I have seen him deal with a lot of stuff now.
  • 23:53So, so we had the guidance we had long distance guidance, because he’s not right here in our backyard and
  • 24:01We had long distance guidance and we did the work. And that I think is the, the key to that is to sort of have somebody who’s ahead of you who can say, yeah, no, no, no. You’re going in a direction. You’ll be all right.
  • 24:14Sure, sure. And so eventually that tumor went away.
  • user avatarbrandon handley24:17That’s amazing. I love it. And so
  • 24:20You would attribute that almost all to the air work was there like a dietary change.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley24:26There were other changes. Yeah, absolutely. There were dietary changes, and we think there was
  • 24:35Well, in his particular case, it had a great deal to do with a inability to deal properly with pesticides and with wheat.
  • user avatarbrandon handley24:46In the
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley24:46On the dietary front. So there was that and
  • 24:54I think there was juicing and there was a lot of things.
  • user avatarbrandon handley24:57Which are look at
  • 24:59Things. Right.
  • 25:00Body. Sure, absolutely. Absolutely. So, and I think that’s, that’s interesting. The two right you know so change a die with this practice. I’m the things that are inside of you are the things that are outside of you know that this
  • 25:15Miracle doesn’t kind of happen on its own. You gotta, you gotta put it together and you got to maintain it and you know the things that do happen to it. Your body’s a miracle. Right. It’s amazing.
  • 25:28And it’s something like that’s happening in this story right you have the ability to change that without getting i don’t know i’m guessing he was getting a laser to the back of the head or something right was
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley25:39Wasn’t. No, no, they wanted to do full
  • 25:41On surgery.
  • 25:43can address and take goop out
  • 25:47And put goop in from other part.
  • user avatarbrandon handley25:52Was
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley25:53Unbelievably scary.
  • user avatarbrandon handley25:55Sure, sure. So, but, I mean, the what’s amazing too and your story is that a lot of people would have just gone ahead and gone that route. Right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley26:03And they would have tried to talk to your spouse into it. It’s their spouse said no. And that I think is something that is I, I have been very fortunate to be able to have that reciprocal relationship with my husband, where if one of us says, No, no, this is how I really feel about the thing
  • 26:20Yeah, even if the other one thinks like, ah, you’re just scarred, we should get you over that.
  • 26:26But there is enough space. And this is an important concept in in business in the way we live our lives in general. Right.
  • 26:35Is that there is enough space for us to be scarred and still have full and wonderful lives. It’s kind of I think of it a lot about
  • 26:45How you know how certain trees grow and they get these scars in them. And then we cut them up and we make them into coffee tables and we call them beautiful world would
  • 26:54Say. Isn’t that spectacular right
  • 26:57Well, that’s what we’re making yeah in ourselves, we have experienced life and things haven’t gone right and we have changed the way that we deal with things F, day after day after day and tried new approaches and had new experiences.
  • 27:14And all of those things are brought into this present moment. And if you allow them then finding a new answer that. That doesn’t mean you have to like check out your whole personality becomes somebody else right
  • user avatarbrandon handley27:32Right, right.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley27:32No, no, it’s okay. You can go spend time in the hospital.
  • 27:36Right show. You don’t have to be someone else. You can be you and you can be successful.
  • user avatarbrandon handley27:41Right. Well, yeah. And in regards to write the
  • 27:46Merging all this together. Right.
  • 27:48But I’ll say it. I love Maplewood like the birds. I’m April, right, that’s kind of one of the one of the times, you’re talking about right and it does become so beautiful. Right. I’m like, I’m over you’re sitting right now we’re turning ourselves into beautiful maple tables but
  • 28:02I love, I love the story that you’re telling about that. I think that that’s great.
  • 28:09So let’s just I want is, what if some of that wasn’t working at any point would didn’t feel like, you know, because I don’t want to get the impression that
  • 28:19You shouldn’t keep a doctor nearby. Right. I mean, because you guys kept the doctor nearby that right live as he was a Western medicine doctor that yes also specialize in this space.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley28:29I think that the the message that should not be taken from my experience is, go do something extreme like I did right and that the message that should be taken, I hope people take from my experience is be true to yourself and find your own answers.
  • 28:54Because they are there, but they’re only there if you calm down long enough to allow them to sort of become revealed. They weren’t there in the doctor’s office right only the first step, which was no I know what I don’t want
  • user avatarbrandon handley29:10To
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley29:11But there wasn’t the step of, like, I know what I do want. Right. Yeah.
  • 29:16Yeah. And in fact, I think that something very important happened there because it was life threatening. Right, it’s not
  • 29:23It’s not the same as in business where things can go right or wrong and we can find our own alignment. Right. But in this scenario. I think one of the most
  • 29:35impactful things that happened was that my husband had someone to turn to and say, You figure it out because he then could go about the business of lining up with becoming well
  • 29:51He didn’t know how, but he had faith.
  • 29:53Yeah, leaf. He said, This person loves me and they’re relatively smart. They’ll figure it out.
  • user avatarbrandon handley30:02Well, I think you bring the other one up to which I always love you don’t have to know how you don’t have to know how you just have to know that that’s what you want. That’s right. Right. And us where they can just
  • 30:16Move forward in that direction. You know, as if it’s not Nestle like I i get i get a little caught up in between, like Law of Attraction with like, you know,
  • 30:28Spirituality space, right. I don’t think that they’re one the same. I think they’re very close, but I don’t I don’t I don’t like to make a sandwich out of, I guess.
  • 30:37Um,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley30:38But so many ways to look at life you know
  • 30:41It would be a shame to sort of collapse it into only one way
  • 30:46Hundred percent I think that’s one of the reasons that the concept of spirituality so appealing to me is that it’s big.
  • user avatarbrandon handley30:53Right, it’s yours.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley30:54I can be a part of this energy and I can be a part of that energy and I don’t have to really understand it intellectually. I just have to decide that I’m willing to be a part of that.
  • user avatarbrandon handley31:05Right. No, I see ideas. Do you even know how you’re here. Right. I mean, we don’t even understand how we’re here to begin with, I mean. So where does that leave us so
  • 31:19Let’s talk a little bit more about the outside of the story. Thanks for sharing that. That was
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley31:22My pleasure. Thanks for bringing it up. I, I had
  • 31:26Was I was gonna tell it.
  • user avatarbrandon handley31:27Yes. I mean you know that, but that’s that’s kind of how you got into this space. And then, you know, I’m guessing that you kind of incorporated. Now some of this spiritual practice modality. And you were seeing the benefits that it was having in the business space.
  • 31:41So at
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley31:42That time
  • 31:43I was actually the CEO of a corporation.
  • 31:46Okay, so
  • 31:49This was what my life was like, like my every day was going to work as the CEO of a corporation.
  • 31:56Right, so, you know, to, to become to to shift perspective in this massive way and then go back to work the next day and be like,
  • 32:08Oh yeah, I’m gonna do it, just the way I used to do it.
  • 32:11Let them work out.
  • 32:13Right, so there had to be for me a re assessing a real understanding of the business world so that and the end the specifics of my business involvement with people so that I could find peace with the
  • 32:36The
  • 32:38Pathway that we were on
  • user avatarbrandon handley32:40Okay.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley32:40So I had many years to do that. I didn’t leave that world until
  • 32:452014 and I that the story I told. And when I got my licensure was well
  • 32:55The story I told started in 2007
  • 32:58Okay, so it was putting a time in their
  • 33:02Right to Try concepts out to go to work and to feel differently about things and then see what happens. And now have to take action right away.
  • 33:12To decide that your solution to this relationship problem with an employee with the board of directors with it. Whoever whoever you’re dealing with with with the clients themselves.
  • 33:27That you are going to shift that but not by going in and saying something different or doing something different and being like, I am different. Now, now you behave differently, right, which is how people love to approach it.
  • 33:38Sure does not work doesn’t work, just
  • 33:42But to really be able to take the time to say okay I am willing to to try everything that I have learned out on myself and to teach it to my staff and to pass it along to people who come and ask for it.
  • 34:02There was a lot of opportunity right now. I’m seeing a lot of people in a day. And there’s a lot of opportunity and people will ask you the wildest things
  • 34:10Sure. And so
  • 34:14Yeah, so I had that I had that. And so that was a way for me to really shift the way that I saw business. And what I knew for a fact would work in business.
  • 34:27I had a lot of knowing what didn’t work. And some of what did work. I had attained a position and, you know, was filling that position. Well, and all of that. But I really was able to sort of AMP that all up by
  • 34:40By being able to try these things and not know
  • 34:45If they were going to work.
  • 34:47And do them anyway.
  • user avatarbrandon handley34:49What would be an example of that.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley34:55Well, there was at one point there was a time when the board of directors was not happy with me.
  • 35:04Man I know, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t even make sense.
  • 35:06No, it doesn’t. It kind of in this world.
  • 35:09And and was not happy with anyone in my
  • 35:15In my purview at all like not like there was no one. And so there was one particular board member who would come in and
  • 35:24Kind of create difficulty. Right. It was a time of change. And I was directing the, the company in a direction that was scary and different and new
  • 35:36And that was not really okay for that board and so that member would come in and and sort of undermine what was happening or stand in the way of what was happening.
  • 35:49And I don’t think that was the intention, but I think that it was really to look out for the company and to like really well founded. But really bad idea. And so this went on for
  • 36:05Several weeks several weeks and different members of my staff kept coming to me and saying, what are we going to do this can’t go on and I would have a chat and, you know, it still went on and that was the way it was. And I had tried a lot of business solutions for this.
  • 36:23But one day I decided that I was going to just focus on the inner work and I spent all of my off time
  • 36:34Doing that inner work and it was a process it. A lot of times people like me to sort of distill it down into one thing that I did. And certainly, I could name some things that you can do in that scenario but
  • 36:48Really, the important thing was that I was no longer tied to the outcome based on yesterday.
  • 36:56So that we had been through it right. This has been going on for weeks, we had tried everything we know what didn’t work. We know. No, no. Right. But we didn’t really we didn’t because today is a new day.
  • 37:09And this is a new moment.
  • 37:11Right. And so once that happened once there was a disassociation with the past, then
  • 37:19The process of becoming holy present and allowing the other people to become wholly present other this person in particular.
  • 37:29Then the, the issues that are around, it can be dealt with and the attitude can shift. And there can no longer be. It doesn’t have to be an aggressive situation, which is what had developed
  • 37:41Right. But once that all dissipates. Then you can have the real conversations about the work that really should be being done in those in that scenario.
  • 37:52Right, I should be held accountable for that in my position and that person should be able to say what they have to say. But there was no space for
  • 38:00Any of that.
  • 38:02And to east and east and east and about two weeks later, one of the gentlemen that work for me came to me and said, What did you do
  • 38:13What did you do
  • 38:14Well you fixed it for you, but you didn’t fix it for me.
  • 38:19And I said, Well, I could teach you what it was like, why can’t you just fix it.
  • user avatarbrandon handley38:26That’s funny. That’s funny. So one of the things that you kind of, you start out there to with the is not having to take action right away, right, because we feel that
  • 38:36We need to take this action immediately to for some type of corrective measure like
  • 38:42Where the like where the savior of whatever is happening, they’re like, well, there’s no we got to fix this. Right. But you’re saying though, you just kind of step back. Yeah. But some of the things just play out on their own and right
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley38:55Yeah, that’s exactly right. That’s exactly right. There’s actually a three step process that I teach that
  • 39:02Is a called the triple a method of transformation and that three step process is really important. Some people get one step.
  • 39:12Some people get two steps, but rarely do we hear people talk about the third, the middle step right
  • 39:18Right. So the first step in that is awareness and we’ve talked a lot about that today, which is
  • 39:23Wonderful. And the third step in that is the action stage right the adaptation. What are you going to do, usually people kind of jump from one to the other and they go, they go like, yes, I’m aware there’s a problem. Now I have a solution.
  • 39:38And it’s the middle step that is the most important and that really isn’t an accurate assessment, you can’t make an accurate assessment, unless you’re in a receiving mode you’re in a
  • 39:58Listening period. A watching period a learning period right it’s you can’t assess something. If you think you know everything about it already.
  • 40:09So you have to do the exploration that is that middle stage that’s between Awareness. Awareness of yourself awareness of your situation and then
  • 40:21Learning so that you can be accurate in your assessment. And that’s, I think, really where most of the time it all falls apart is that the assessment is not accurate.
  • 40:33Hmm. And so that’s how you jump from the one step to the other step is that you go like now I got this move on.
  • 40:43But you don’t know yet. But there’s like a guy behind the curtain run and my thing. You know what I mean.
  • 40:48Sure.
  • 40:49So that’s
  • user avatarbrandon handley40:51That’s more than you know awareness of your thought process awareness of the, you know, conscious choices awareness of doing these things.
  • 41:00With purpose and intention, but also, you know, I like how you bring up this you know accurate assessment piece because it was just yesterday as matter of fact I sat down with a transformational coach and
  • 41:14It was what you’re saying here is you can assess, but kind of like a and I feel like this is what I had done right I assess the situation quickly.
  • 41:24And felt that was good enough. Right. And then he goes, Well, I think, actually, you need to go one more layer deeper. Yeah. And he took me one more layer deeper. And I was like, Oh my gosh, you know,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley41:35Totally different answer to. Right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley41:37Well, totally different answer. Totally different feeling totally different space in place and you know
  • 41:44Therefore, ergo my assessment initially was not accurate. Yeah, that’s right. Right.
  • 41:53And you know we’re here. We keep learning and this, this is even has to do with just, you know, if you’re working with a client, they feel like they know who they are. All right. And you’ve got it you what you’re doing is you’re helping them to slow down and
  • 42:07Truly learn who they really are. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley42:09That’s exactly right. That’s exactly right. And I think that was true for me. So I think that one of the things that makes it easier for me to
  • 42:18To talk to people is that I’ve stood someplace. Very, very similar to where they’re standing and so that feeling like I know especially having some early success.
  • 42:30Right, sure. No, I do. No.
  • 42:33No, I did it. I know how to do it. No, no, actually you don’t
  • 42:39Because you did it, but you didn’t know how you did it.
  • 42:41Yeah, you did it, but you can’t repeat it, and
  • 42:46Source, all of that.
  • user avatarbrandon handley42:48Sure, yeah.
  • 42:50But it’s looking those steps and and and i think that we’ve been fortunate, right, like a laughed at the beginning how there’s, you know,
  • 43:00There’s pathways for us to take you know that the plenty of people have done this before us. We’re not the first people to show up like I got this.
  • 43:08Follow me like there’s no whole whole society is built on this and
  • 43:13We’re lucky that we’ve got that available to us right that framework, the possibility to kind of
  • 43:18Go to even you right or you know your spiritual coaches to run them in the first time, like there’s a whole nother way.
  • 43:25And it fits into this and, oh, I can get the same results by but but by doing it this way instead of this other brash like I’m going to take the bull by the horns and crush everybody mentality. Right. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley43:40Yeah, I, I, actually, when I first kind of got that there was another way and that it was actually more effective I so I had been into herbs, my whole life where I felt like I i liked spices in my food, and I
  • 43:54I knew some of the properties of things. And I would you know give myself cold medicine by eating the garlic or whatever it was. Right, sure, and and
  • 44:03I got that there was, I knew about herbs and spices that there were in different parts of the world, they would do the same things, but be totally different plans.
  • 44:13And I was like,
  • 44:14Oh, I don’t really get why that’s true, that you can take turmeric from India and you can take, you know, yarrow from North America and you’re going to get a similar thing and happening for you.
  • 44:29And I, I knew that it was possible, but I couldn’t make any sense of it until we got to this concept, this concept of being present and being aware
  • 44:44And showing up in a new way and then taking action. Then I got, oh, there are just so many ways, right. I could have said 10 different things in that moment.
  • 44:57And gotten a really similar response to that, or maybe my relationship problem, like I’ve, I’ve worked with people a lot with
  • 45:07business relationships where they’re particularly with employees, where they’re not getting the results they want with the employees and they feel like it’s the employees problem.
  • 45:18And that works. The first or second or third employee, but it does not work after that.
  • 45:23To face a few things.
  • 45:26And you can try all the techniques you want, right, there’s a lot of management techniques and those i’m sure can be effective in under certain circumstances.
  • 45:37But really when you’re willing to do that work inside you and the technique, doesn’t matter anymore because
  • 45:45The result can happen regardless of the technique that you’re using, sort of like that plant it’s planted in a, you know, different sides of the earth, but it’s helping your body because the world is meant to support us for sure that’s what that’s what is here for
  • user avatarbrandon handley46:01At least from our perspective. Hundred percent hundred percent
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley46:05Plant feels like it’s there for them.
  • user avatarbrandon handley46:08But what I just I just saw like you know I think somebody talk. I think I was listening to Wayne Dyer right and he’s talking about like if you lift the seeds or whatever and you plant them that they take in that your DNA, and they grow to to you.
  • 46:21Yeah, so
  • 46:22So I’ll always always something interesting.
  • 46:26Always something interesting. Geez, you said something there that I wanted to hit on but uh what you know.
  • 46:34So what are some. What are some that’s what’s gonna say, so you’re, you know, the techniques become
  • 46:42More like a again a vehicle for what’s inside of you, right, and that’s your focal point, you’re like, All right, you know,
  • 46:49It’s the techniques, not working. It’s because I look I take to jujitsu right and oftentimes the, the deal is, I’m using a technique, but I’m also trying to put all this force power behind like
  • 47:04Running grown in
  • 47:06But it’s when I relax and just simply apply the technique.
  • 47:11That it works. I’m like, why, what this doesn’t make any sense. Right. So again, it sounds like you know if you do the inner work and you figure out kind of what’s in you just you just kind of let that out, Masha, but you focus it gently on the technique, it works.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley47:23Yeah, we’re back where we were when we started right life can be a lot easier than we make it
  • user avatarbrandon handley47:30And and so you know what what are
  • 47:34What are some of the other things that you’re finding with your clients right. How are they, what’s their reception been to their new selves.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley47:44Reception to their new cells. Fantastic question.
  • 47:48Wow. I like I’m pretty good.
  • user avatarbrandon handley47:54Sure.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley47:55You know, it feels a lot better to be not frustrated and not irritated and have a new way to accept your imperfections and to say I can be whole and I can show up and I can shift my life in these ways where I get the result that I want and still be may
  • user avatarbrandon handley48:18Not have to
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley48:19Turn into somebody else. I mean, I think these are the kinds of things that a lot of times people really feel like, all right, I want to go there. So I’ll just be someone else for a while.
  • 48:33They
  • 48:34Got themselves off from themselves, right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley48:36So,
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley48:37And this is how people end up to be older and more bitter.
  • 48:43And then eventually at some point they say I’m not doing that anymore. And sometimes that’s at retirement age sometimes that’s a lot earlier.
  • 48:52You’re really lucky if you don’t have a lot of patience for that kind of thing in your life.
  • user avatarbrandon handley48:57Well, you know, you know, recently, my wife, she she hit that point right she just said this is enough. This is too much and and she’s now you know we come from two different types of backgrounds. Right.
  • 49:08Where she came from, you know, the you work hard, you get a job you keep that job for as long as you can, it’s safe. It’s good. They watch out for you.
  • 49:16But at what cost, right, I think you’d mentioned that to like what costs like you’re the costs.
  • 49:22Is you your life, your, your whole, you know, they call it grind it out for a reason. You’re losing each day to the grind. So I don’t want to keep you too long, but this has been, I’ve had a lot of fun with this conversation.
  • 49:35A lot of fun with this conversation.
  • 49:37Where, where should and we did talk about you do have something coming up. I want to make sure people know that you’ve got this, you’ve got this challenge come out to us talk on that.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley49:45You. I do. I have a five day
  • 49:49Workshop, or I’m
  • 49:53Just loving the words just scramble away from you.
  • user avatarbrandon handley49:56Absolutely, it says all day every day.
  • 49:59To
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley49:59Day challenge coming up and it, it is called get out of your head. Embrace your imperfections and get on track with your business.
  • 50:10And so that’s what we’re going to do for five days, we’re going to go through the process and we’re going to really delve into that process. We talked a little bit more
  • 50:19Earlier about the AAA method of transformation and get to apply some of that and really see what kind of
  • 50:29changes we can make in such a short period of time for lots and lots of people to to quiet the noise to to find that space that we’ve been talking about and to still be wholly yourself to really embrace that you’re okay, as Your imperfections and then apply that process.
  • 50:51It’s a very interesting process, I think.
  • 50:53It will be really great to see how everybody does.
  • user avatarbrandon handley50:56That’s awesome. So what type of people should be attending this event.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:00Anyone who’s interested in business.
  • 51:05Who is open. Yeah.
  • 51:07Yeah, so this is this work is not easy. It’s not like, you know, kind of, you were talking about this with talking about your wife’s background and a lot of people come from a background where it’s kind of supposed to be hard. And when life is not fun. They say, what is it they say they say
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:27Oh my lemonade.
  • 51:31Life’s not supposed to be fair, I don’t know.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:33Yeah, all that
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:34All that stuff.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:35So what, like, I get that. And there are people who need that kind of structure in their life, and they’re not ready to let go of that that’s okay with me.
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:43Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley51:43Don’t come to mind.
  • 51:47But anyone everyone. I hope Pro has a business involvement writing particularly I work for the most part with entrepreneurs.
  • 51:57So you’re the driver of your business boat, it makes it much easier. And who wants to work on something and knows that the answer is somewhere in them might they’re willing to do some work for it. That is personal. That is development personal development work.
  • 52:20And and really you show up with willingness and I’d be happy to guide you all the way through the process that would be great.
  • user avatarbrandon handley52:30Awesome and listen.
  • 52:32You know, you’ve had you been a successful CEO, you started off successful businesses you sold businesses.
  • 52:41And, you know, for anybody, which website. Again, Donald in
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley52:46Donnellan Riley calm.
  • user avatarbrandon handley52:48Down. So head over to the site shine house or for videos yourself, you will be able to see
  • 52:53That she knows what she’s talking about. So I think that that’s really exciting. And, you know, we didn’t dig too deep into the business aspects of today. We just had a really great. I felt like conversation.
  • 53:03But you clearly know you know what it is that you’re doing. You’ve done the work you contains to do the work. And you know what you’re putting out. I think there’s no top notch really really quality stuff.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley53:13Thank you so much. It was really a pleasure to be here and to get to talk about this topic in such depth. So that’s really nice. It’s great that you’re talking about this in a in a really deep way this sort of spirituality and business and in that space.
  • user avatarbrandon handley53:28You know what, you got to be able to like you keep saying, and that’s what it means to bring all of who you are right, they’re not two separate things. If you keep your spiritual self over here and your material or reality over here, you’re missing out on the one, two punch you know
  • 53:44You really you’ve really got the opportunity to kind of blend you’re you’re working at 50% of capacity. Yeah, right. So he can
  • 53:51You know blend those two which which I know you can teach how to do what you get to bring to your workplace or wherever you decide to show up after you learn about who you are. It’s just, it’s that much more powerful. Yeah.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley54:04It really is.
  • user avatarbrandon handley54:05Yeah. Hundred percent. Thanks again.
  • user avatarDonnalynn Riley00:59:18Thank you.

Join in on the conversation as Jeremy Todd from The Positive Side Podcast joins me today. We talk about what its like to find your self through the process of book writing.

Want to touch base with Jeremy? Want to let him know how great he was to come on here and share the truth of who he is?

Please email him [email protected] !

Brandon Handley 0:00
4321 Hey there spiritual dope. This is Brandon Handley, the voice of a generation. I am on with my good friend, Jeremy Todd from the positive side, you may ask yourself the positive side of what of everything. positive side of everything Jeremy Todd and I, we go way back. So you’ve got the podcast positive side, you’ve got your coaching, you know, just high level executive success coaching, that you’ve been running for years now. And I’ve loved watching you kind of grow that business and continue to grow yourself. And we’re going to talk today a little bit about leading your life from a spiritual angle and doing it so that you’re having a more fulfilling more successful life. How’s that sound to you?

Jeremy Todd 0:48
Oh, that sounds perfect. Thanks for letting me on your

Brandon Handley 0:50
show. jacked up and fired up. Yeah. Yeah, I decided that Jeremy I think was my very first podcast and and man We couldn’t GS Remember, we’re trying to figure out how to even like talk to each other. I think you had to record on your side, I had to record on my side on a child, like the cast was terrible. But the conversation was magic. And the magic continues before before we get going, right, so the first thing I like to start us off with is, you and I were conduits for you know, the creative source energy of the universe, right? And when we when we put these podcasts together, when you and I are connecting, we’re not connecting because you and I, like have a good conversation and we like each other. Yeah, it’s because some type of message it’s got to come out of this. And it’s got to come through you by being here today. What’s that message that the university Sangeeta?

Jeremy Todd 1:44
Well, for me, it’s, it’s it’s a message that I’ve been really resonated with recently. I’ve always been resonating with this message, but recently, it’s more important than ever that you know, it’s that authenticity and being comfortable with myself and really being with everybody out there. It’s, you know, the spirituality part. to even be comfortable with that. I think there’s so many obstacles in our way and so many negative things that pop up on a day to day basis in our life with craziness going on. And it takes away from who we truly are. And it takes away our message. It takes away our spiritual spirituality. And you know, I’m tired of it. I’m ready to go the other way. I’m ready to really double down on my spirituality and double down on the positivity. Yeah. Because dammit, I’m tired of the negativity. And the only way we’re going to do it is we’re going to lead from the other side. And, you know, that’s the side I want to be on. I don’t want to be on the negativity side. I want to just, you know, trust and believe in myself with thee with the powers that I have already within that, I think, and they’ve been clouded for years. They’ve been clouded in the now with the craziness. They’re even more clouded. But not anymore. Dammit, I’m tired. I’m sick and tired of this stuff. And you know, we talked briefly before this started about one of the things and again, I’m going on tangent, so I apologize but

Brandon Handley 2:54
other things as a message that somebody needs here. It’s coming through you.

Jeremy Todd 2:57
Yeah, you know, we talked about you know, I’m ready to That book and I’m not here to talk about the book, but really here I’m talking about is the exercise of writing. I’ve never done it. I’ve never wrote more than three pages in my entire life. And now that I’m actually trying to put ideas down on paper, it’s allowing me to go through this process in my head that I’ve never really been able to truly, not only just understand, but comprehend. Because things happen in my life and things happen in your life and in everyone’s life that they’re so hard for us to understand. And I try my small little brain, try and figure it out. And then you know, you lose topics, you lose organization in your own mind, because you go off on tangents, you think about other things. But as this writing process happens, and this is I guess, the biggest thing for everybody listening is write down some of those ideas. I recently had a piece of paper and pen next to my bed. So when I’m sleeping, I get an idea, boom, I write it down. But it’s just being more organized and then being able to revisit that same thought, when I will. When typically in the past, when I would have an idea. I would struggle my way through it or fight my way through it. And another Understand why is this thought in my head right now? And then I’d be done with it, I move on with it, and then it would come back. And then I wouldn’t be as clear as I am. Right. So throughout this writing process process and writing these things down that I’ve gone through in my life, it’s given me a better opportunity to understand, you know, what the meaning was, at the time in my life. Why was it brought to me at that time in my life? And what have I actually learned and where I can build from that at this point in my life? So, man, it’s just in the last few weeks, last few months, I’ve just been really magical. And you know, that’s why it just ties right into this podcast. I was excited to get on the show to really talk about these things and talk about the things that typically other people don’t want to talk about it don’t know how to talk about it, or they know how to talk about it, but they’re scared to talk about it. And I think that’s a bigger thing. How am I going to get judged? Are these Yeah,

Brandon Handley 4:44
am I weird? You know, to me, this is a you know this. So first of all, thanks for sharing that message. To me. It sounds like a message of you know, trying to reacquaint yourself with yourself. Yeah, exactly. And it’s also trying to capture Those images that you create in your mind when they’re clear, and they’re vivid, and they’re fresh on a piece of paper so that at least when you come back to them, you capture the full essence of what that image was. And because those, those little flashes of insight are just so powerful. And if you don’t write them down, like you’re saying, when you come back to it, it’s a faded version of what it was when you first saw Yeah, you’re like, this doesn’t seem nearly as potent as it was, like, 45 minutes ago, right? Yeah,

Jeremy Todd 5:30
exactly. Or I could completely forget about it. And then I’m like, damn it. What was that idea that I have? It’s so powerful, for sure. Now, I can’t remember it. All right,

Brandon Handley 5:38
that’s Tammy. It’s amazing. Like I’m just like little little short bursts of like, capacitor energy, like, you know, that’s the I don’t know what you know about electronics, right? But uh, so there’s little capacitor there that the energy gets stored in so that when you take a picture with the flash, right, it’s a high burst of energy in that capacitor. Okay. But then it dissipates. And it takes a while for it to fill back up.

Jeremy Todd 6:03
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Oh, this isn’t. And, you know, I just think that the journey that I’m on now it’s one of the most powerful and exciting journeys I’ve ever been on my entire life because this is exactly like that. It’s those ideas that I’ve never been really, really processed throughout, in my own head. And I’ve also mentioned this a lot lately is that, you know, I believe I have all the right answers already within me. But when I’m clouded by the darkness, or the negativity or just being busy, or all the other bullshit excuses, I can put in my own head and give myself away out. It just I’ve never really had the opportunity to sit down and be within myself and work my way through this and discover the answers that are right there in front of me. You know, like meditation.

Brandon Handley 6:44
You know, first of all my own throws out at you right? In this book. I love this book. It’s called a more beautiful question, right? We have been taught to have answers, right. But one thing that we haven’t really been taught well, and I haven’t been taught well, right is how to ask better questions how to ask like those. Sure, deep questions. And if we don’t ask those if we don’t if we don’t learn how to ask, we don’t learn how to kind of do that deep seeking, right? I mean, that’s part of coaching though, too, right? Like the reflective aspect of coaching. I want to I do want to lean back here for a second because you talked about being afraid to lead with like that. That’s spirituality, right with that, because that could be perceived weird. And that was really kind of something I had held myself back with. Right. And I’m super glad to hear like that, you know, you you’ve been looking for a place to have that conversation. You’ve been looking for a place to have that kind of it’s not necessarily exposed, but who can I talk to? That is going to understand where I’m coming from with this stuff.

Unknown Speaker 7:49
Hey, Brittany Haley. Absolutely. Hundred

Brandon Handley 7:51
percent. Right. Absolutely. And, and, and then like, you know, there’s zero judgment from that, too. It’s like, all right, yeah. I hear what you’re saying. And I I agree with, you know, everything you’re saying. And and the question becomes like, Okay, this is where you’re at, just like coaching, right? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do with this knowledge? You know it, right? Yeah. Now it’s, you know, that’s what you want to do. So you’re doing it through a process a book, right?

Jeremy Todd 8:18
Yeah, you know, and I think it’s also understanding and just really have the mental capacity of understanding that, and I love this quote is vulnerability. vulnerability is my strength. By being vulnerable, being who I am and being being weird and quirky, that’s my strength. And I’ve always shied away from that, like, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s maybe not what so and so thinks I am or I don’t want to get judged and all those other bullshit things that come in your head, but at the end of the day, none of that matters. And actually, the more authentic you are with yourself, the more powerful you become. And it’s taken me a long time to even understand that point of it because, gosh, I mean, all these answers that I’m thrown out there within my life, people are attracted to me more now than they’ve ever been because it is different. It’s what people have always wanted to do but they can’t they don’t have the power now they see, you know, they see you and they see me doing it. They’re like, you know what, maybe it’s okay. Yeah, those conversations are awesome to

Brandon Handley 9:08
know. It’s always awesome to you know, and I know that even when I started on the father for the rest of us podcast, I was like, Alright man, step into your power. Yeah. Right. And, and but this is so when I met Jeremy guys, ladies and girls, ladies and ladies and gentlemen, I met Jeremy in person years ago at a, you know, a podcast meetup. And one of the things that stood out to me about Jeremy was, you know, you talked about having to have 100% faith in yourself, and belief in yourself. Sounds to me and you know, I’m not trying to be judged. You’re not though it sounds to me like you kind of got disrupted with some of that, like over the past couple years, right. And that’s been something that’s kind of been eating you away, but now you’re finding kind of a Marie Newell. of this. I’ll call it you know, faith and self, you know, self belief. Is that what I’m here coming? Because I mean, you’re bringing the energy so

Jeremy Todd 10:08
well, there’s no question about it. And I think the biggest thing is, you know, it’s that old saying act as if, And hey, if I’m gonna be honest, completely honest with myself, I’ve always tried to just keep telling myself Hey, everything’s gonna be fine. If it’s gonna be good. I’m gonna be super positive, but I’ve never really dealt with the reality of what I’m actually dealing with in within my soul. So, yeah, yeah, hey, that’s me. And yes, I strive to stay motivated to stay positive. But man, it’s those darker things that I’ve never really faced in the past. And now I’m to a point in my life that I just don’t give a shit. Now. I mean, I just the more and more I self analyze myself, the better I become, and the stronger I become, and the happier I am. I’ve had this realization recently to it, and I’m doing right, a lot of writing about fear. And one of my fears was always about fear of being alone. And I really analyzed that about, you know, there’s two ways, the initial way I looked at that Was selfishly the eagle Tell me why don’t want to be by myself physically, like, like, I always want to have a partner with me. You know, I want to have a girlfriend, I want to be married, I want to have all this stuff. So I always felt like ask me, who what am I gonna do if I’m alone? I mean, how can I take care of myself? So it was all physical. Really the hard part of that one of the what I’ve really understood now is it’s not the physical part of being alone. It’s the mental part of being alone. How can I be alone with myself my own thoughts, I’ve got more time than ever now I’ve actually got to face these things. face these things that have always been right in front of me. All these things that I you know, my self doubt myself. You know, I’m critical of myself constantly. I don’t think I’m this or I don’t think I’m good enough or smart enough. So all these things now that I’ve understood that the fear of being alone wasn’t the physical part is the mental part. And now that I’m facing that part of it, it’s allowed me to grow exponentially. Because as I go through these things, I become happier with myself. I’m becoming my own best friend. Sure. And I think That’s so powerful that you know we always and again this is me, I always thought I had to have that person Sure. Instead of understanding that I’m good enough and I can be my best friend and that was

Brandon Handley 12:10
that I think that there’s a there’s a huge there’s a huge that that’s how we’re brought up man right we’re brought up the chaser relationship once you’ve got that great relationship you become whole type of thing and you know two people complete each other and all this other jazz right but you know, that may be the end and then then the end result but those two people come together I love I think it’s Wayne Dyer that talks about Thank you don’t come together as two halves and create a whole you come together as two people. You’re still two people. Right? With with Yeah, individuality is you got to come together as two whole people, right, loving yourself as for who you are and and before other people can love you. Correct. You

Jeremy Todd 12:55
can’t come in halfway. You got to come in 100% because no one’s ever gonna fill that void. That’s something that’s taking me a long time to really just wrap my head around that concept because I don’t know what it was. I don’t know if it’s just a switch one day. I’m like, you know what, that doesn’t make any sense. I mean, I kind of enjoy being alone, actually. I mean, it’s all good. But man, oh, man, the more you get, you know, alone and you start thinking your way through Why don’t you like little stuff? Jeremy, why don’t you know why don’t you give yourself excuses for not going to the gym? I enjoy the gym.

Brandon Handley 13:25
I heard you know, so here’s what I mean. Let’s talk a little bit about it. I know that I heard you kind of busting your balls on on your podcast about like, you know, setting up excuses for yourself and realizations and you know, your own but yeah, and weighs out more than anything. But let’s talk about you know, endless I mean, that’s, that’s, that’s, that’s everybody, right? That’s every human that’s out there does this to a certain degree. What I want to talk about those like, you know, kind of what you’re talking about is is kind of leading with spirituality where you you know, you’ve accepted the power within you, right? Yeah. And, and so let’s talk about What that means to you?

Jeremy Todd 14:02
Well, I mean, it’s almost for accepting the power of me is is tough because I don’t know if I’ve accepted all the power within me. It’s almost like I’m hitting, you know, analogy. I’m going going down a big hill and I still hold my hands on the brakes, not willing to completely let go. I’m going fast. We talked about earlier, take the hands off the steering wheel and just let it go. Right, right. I am. I’m getting closer. I believe in myself more now than ever. And, you know, you know, just to say, you know, I wouldn’t enjoy some wins, and not that I’ve never had wins in the past, but I want to enjoy a win on the spiritual journey that I’m on now. Maybe it is when I get that book out. That’d be a winner in the accomplishment. Maybe I don’t even know what what will it be, but it’s almost like I’m just, this is the path I need to go on. Yeah, I feel comfortable with this path. I don’t know what the end result looks like. But I’ve never felt so good about this path that I’m on that I’ve ever been in my entire life.

Brandon Handley 15:04
So let’s talk. Like, let’s talk a little about, like, so it’s like you’re kind of you’re kind of shading your own light is what I’m hearing. Right? So you’re kind of shading your own light. Because it’s, it’s a little scary to admit that what you feel inside is greater than anything that you’ve ever felt before.

Jeremy Todd 15:21
So exactly, right. Right. It is it is. You know, it’s the self, you know, then you have the self, where am I worthy enough? You know, and these things are just there. And again, I’m not trying to say who was me and but believe me, it’s the positive side guy, you know, I’m all good. But you know, in a different space, right? You’re just so you’re feeling when you dial down deep into it. Mm hmm. start identifying different things. It doesn’t change who I am as a motivational guy, inspirational guy, but it’s this new journey that I love picking this part about just to get better. And I love it. And love is challenging. It’s difficult. It’s extremely hard. And it’s the best challenge I’ve ever been on in my entire life and Because of the decisions I’ve made in my life, they all brought me to this exact point for a specific reason. And I’m excited about where this is gonna go.

Brandon Handley 16:08
Would you call it the serve resurrection of Jeremy Todd?

Jeremy Todd 16:11
I kind of feel like that man I really do. It’s it’s doing things that I enjoy doing. If I don’t want to do something, I just don’t do stuff. I don’t know how to even explain it.

Brandon Handley 16:20
But don’t do things that don’t bring you life. Right. Why would you?

Unknown Speaker 16:22
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Brandon Handley 16:24
And I think that though, you know, there’s also there’s a precipice here, there’s a there’s a, there’s definitely caveats to this message, right? This is once you kind of step into this space that you’re in, because prior to that people would take that as meaning Well, I’m gonna go out and I’m gonna get wasted. I’m not going to do work yada, yada yada. That’s not what we’re talking about here. Correct. We’re not talking about going out and doing whatever you want. I’m gonna go streak and I’m gonna windows and all this other stuff. You can do that. Don’t get me wrong. I have a blast right there. Done that right. Don’t be a jerk. Um, but talking about, you know, what are the things ones that are fulfilling you right and looking for those and then adding more of those moments in your life is that we’re talking about here

Jeremy Todd 17:07
is exactly what I’m talking about and it’s doing little stuff that I want to do like I you know, I went on that trip to Ireland by myself. Yeah, man, that was the coolest thing in the world but no plans just hit said hey, I’m going by myself I don’t know anything. I don’t know anybody. I don’t know where I’m going but I’m just gonna go do it I’m gonna handle and it was a blast. I’m trying to plan my next trip and this is totally totally off the wringer but I want to go hunting for some reason never been hunting in my entire life. Right. Well, my buddy Dustin bond working you know, Dustin. Yeah, so I’m gonna go out and see Dustin Vaughn warranty and he doesn’t know it yet. But I’m sure to plan a trip down to go go down to Texas and go haul Connie. Nice. I mean, I’ve never shot a rifle before in my life. But it just sounds interesting to go out and and again, I’m not trying to sound horrible but kill an animal. But actually not just killing the same. See, let it like actually consume the animal. And again, you know, hey, I’m eating you know, we all eat hamburger and cheese. And we don’t actually see the beginning process. I mean I’m excited about the the mental journey I go on when I physically kill another animal and then consume that animal. What does that do with my perspective on day to day life with what may go and do you know, whatever, go to the restaurant get a hamburger. No.

Brandon Handley 18:18
It’s a rite of passage for you is What is

Jeremy Todd 18:21
it? Yeah, it’s just something different that I’ve always thought about to see what that process is actually, like, instead of just Hey, I’ll take a hamburger. The hamburger comes you don’t ever see any of that you don’t see the cow Walker? You don’t see it as a baby cow. Come on. Oh my god. It’s so pretty and it grows up and you don’t see any of that. Yeah. And I’m just really trying to get in touch with everything into my life. And that’s just one small area that I can do it and hey, let’s see how it goes. I don’t I

Brandon Handley 18:45
mean, that can be that could that could very well turn you into a vegetarian you never know. Well, because I’ll tell you I had an experience growing up as a kid I got the BB gun and there was sitting in the backyard of my grandparents house. There’s a was like a little bird said On the mulberry tree, right? Yeah. And I shot it, but then when I shot it like there was this thing that kind of just went through me it was so weird, right? Like when you Yeah, you know you’re ending something else’s life that look, we all step on bugs, right? we all we all flesh ticks. But yeah, it has something to do with like this this this bird right and and you know other lives. So you know it’s an interesting it is definitely an interesting experience to take another life and I mean, it’s very different than fishing. Right fishing Yeah, sure, sure. Same thing, but you don’t the same thing, right? You’re taking something out. Take taking something that was natural element and eventually you’re killing it and consuming it. Yeah, right. I mean, there’s no, there’s no way to sugarcoat that’s exactly what you know. But at the same time, it’s really, I think important. What it sounds like is you want to go on or that process and experience it for yourself. I mean, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 19:59
exactly. And

Brandon Handley 20:00
how’s that any different than mine ground beef?

Jeremy Todd 20:05
Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, I would never shoot an animal but I’m gonna go buy chicken or meat. Okay, I have a big have a big steak, okay, hey, I get all that but it’s just something I’ve thought about and I’d be really interested about the spiritual part about that is in how emotional is it going to be for me because I’m a big, I’m a big nerd. I’m a big softy. I mean, I’ll probably cry

Brandon Handley 20:26
like a little baby. I think it’s interesting. Um,

Jeremy Todd 20:28
but you know, if I’m going to kill it, I’m going to consume it. And I’m not going to just leave it out there and just waste it. But I’m also a big believer of everything you eat that you take the spirit of that animal to so the garbage food you do take on that animal spirit and that soul in that process, so if I go out to an animal and kill it, I’m taking on that animal soul. And I’m interested to see how that’s gonna make me feel a little bit differently when I actually eat the meat is gonna be a little bit different, like, the whole process is just something

Brandon Handley 20:59
I’ll never know. Doesn’t, I’m definitely interested to see kind of how that turns out for you. Right. And and the thing is main thing is, is not everybody’s journey is the same, right? Your journey is your journey. And like I said, I’m enjoying, I’m joined kind of the space that you’re in. Because it sounds like you’re kind of at this front end of it, exploring it more, you expose the, you know, call it the light, your spirit, whatever, within you accepted it. And again, now you’re like,

Jeremy Todd 21:29
now what? Yeah, yeah. And that, and that’s, I don’t know if there’s a right or wrong answer or direct explanation. But you know, it’s interesting, you know, and obviously, you don’t be pretty well in full disclosure, you know, coming out of a long term marriage. And, you know, it’s interesting when you’re in a long term marriage, and again, my perspective, no one else’s perspective, but you begin to and this isn’t all marriages, this is again, I’m just being very vague with this, but you begin to not develop as the person that you truly Are you almost become two people into developing and as one not this isn’t anything wrong with that totally cool. But I feel like I’ve went down that farce down the road for so many years and so long that I’d never really identify with who I actually am because getting married at a young age, you develop each other’s lives through each other through through each other’s experiences and preferences and opinions and, and again, not to say there’s nothing wrong with because it’s shaped me to who I am today. But going through that whole process and now being and again, go back to that fear of being alone. That’s part of this process is figuring out who am I actually, what do I actually enjoy? What actually does scare me? I don’t know those answers yet. And again, I’d love it that I don’t know the answers. Yeah. And I don’t know if I’ll ever know the answers because part of that process of trying to figure it out, develops the person that I truly am going to become Sure. It’s like chasing, you know, chasing the sunset. You’re never going to get But it’s always bright and always looks good and I’m all for it. Yeah, but I mean, but hey, man, I it’s exciting Dude, I I couldn’t be happier. I couldn’t be more excited about the future scared about the future all at the same time. But, man, if anybody out there, listen to the show, it’s just an opportunity to really dive down deep within yourself and figure out who you truly are. And there’s and the other thing about that is not that I have to say, but there’s no right or wrong answer to that. It’s not about I’m the right person or this is the wrong person. I was right. No, right or wrong. It’s Who am

Brandon Handley 23:33
I? The important thing is what you’re saying there is eliminate the judgment. Right? Don’t judge don’t judge who you are. Don’t judge the experience. Just

Unknown Speaker 23:45
be

Brandon Handley 23:47
right and it’s really and again, that’s something that unless and until you do it, it’s a very it’s very, it’s a that’s a very interesting experience. Um, and I you know, I picked that up through headspace, right and meditation and it was like, Don’t judge. It was like it was there was a I forget one of the meditations, but even at the very, very beginning, like, Don’t judge XYZ don’t judge this. And while I’m sure I never thought of myself as judging before, I recognize the difference between judging my thoughts and experiences versus not. And when you’re not judging them either good or bad. There’s like an elimination of like weight on attachment to that, because when you judge something as good or bad, you’re investing emotional energy into that. And that’s a hook.

Jeremy Todd 24:33
Yeah, that’s well said. I mean, you’re exactly right. Because when you use explain to court exactly perfect, because when you do put those emotions on things, they are heavy, and you don’t need to put any emotion on them. These are the things that have happened. These This is what the decisions I’ve made in my past. This is who I am not right, they’re not wrong. And it’s interesting when you talk about judging people because we’re judging. The first thing you always automatically is thinking about judging other people, but the first person you can’t judge yourself. And we always skip ourselves, you know, it’s like, oh, man, I’m gonna judge that person. I won’t judge that person. But this person, we got to not judge ourselves and what has brought us to this point in our life is all the good decisions and the quote unquote bad decisions.

Brandon Handley 25:14
Well, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you, you know, what I kind of what I kind of got it down to was, you know, I tried really hard and made a lot of stupid mistakes. Right, and, and growing up, and the things that I did the things that I put in my body, the experiences I put myself through, and if I’m still here today, yeah, there’s a reason. Reason. Yeah. And so I’m exploring that my purpose changes. My purpose changes the month the meanings change, but I investigate that right. I investigate that and it sounds like again, this is kind of where you’re at, right? You’re investigating Jeremy’s purpose. You’re investigating Jeremy’s self identity. And I’d like to, you know, separate those two words. myself right your yourself those are two separate words right those are two ways now when you separate those two words and you break down what is your self that’s your inner being I mean you look up the dictionary self is like your inner being right yeah and and so that’s the piece that gets so neglected man and you know we show up in our you know late later ages nothing is all beat the hell it’s like it’s like it’s like you show up with a used car lot there’s the one that’s like got leftover because because they didn’t even want to take this wasn’t one it’s another

Unknown Speaker 26:33
is yeah

Brandon Handley 26:36
nothing left on it right. And now we’re like, I can resurrect this bitch. Yeah,

Jeremy Todd 26:41
yeah hundred percent. Well I think one of the biggest things like you were talking about there is that when when you are 100% comfortable with yourself. It gives you the ability to when other people come into your area. If you have a high level of your you know, your energies are super high. And then they’re clean too, because you can have a high energy and not even understand your high energy. So when you’re high energy and you’ve cleaned you have got no clouds of your head, and then someone else comes, approaches you you can sense their energies in one second. You know exactly what’s going on. Hey, I can tell you’re going through some stuff What’s up? No, I’m not. Yeah, er, because I can feel it.

Unknown Speaker 27:19
Right, right. And then

Jeremy Todd 27:20
all of a sudden it starts spewing all these things that’s going on because when you’re super, super clean, and you have that high energy, man, you just see life differently. That’s a different perspective. There’s a lot of things that come to you that you’re Yeah, you’re blank, your brain would block before but now it doesn’t block cc more you’re more aware you’re more alert and you just see the world in different way. It’s it’s powerful. It’s it’s the same as

Brandon Handley 27:45
saying the two is when you kind of release the fear and come at it with a clean energy. You’re open and receptive things because you’re you’re not goes back to judgment. You’re not cringing yourself. You’re not afraid of that person. Because you’re good with who you are

Jeremy Todd 28:03
correct? Yeah, you know, it’s so funny having conversations with people now that you male, female, whatever the case is, and they don’t want to tell you a story. I don’t want to tell you that because I don’t want you to think of me as this. I truly would never think of any differently than what we have right here. Right? I don’t care what you did in your past. I don’t care what happened because hey, what the past what you brought you to me, and now we’re having this conversation. I don’t judge. But people don’t people. You know, it’s almost like

Brandon Handley 28:30
if your story is funny and crazy, I’ll tell you. Yeah. It was crazy, though. Yeah, but you did you did that. Exactly. Okay. Right.

Jeremy Todd 28:39
But again, there’s no reason to charge anybody anything because we’re all of our spirits are completely different. But we’re all here. Like you said, we’re all here. Everything just bad decisions. I made, quote unquote, bad decision. This brought me to this point right now and I couldn’t be any happier.

Brandon Handley 28:52
Right? So I mean, talk to me how you feel, you know, a big part of this is leading with spirituality to for a more fulfilling life. Tell me how you feel like you’re doing that now?

Jeremy Todd 29:03
Well, I think it’s direct reflection of, of, of my podcast. I mean, I and again, I’m not here to promote promote my podcast but that’s that’s really what I do is I really promote a peaceful spirit, a peaceful body peaceful soul and being authentic and be comfortable who I am and experiencing that and telling people, it’s going to be okay. Hey, I’ve got this podcast that I tell people, the most honest, brutal stories in my life. But I don’t expect any judgment from anybody. I don’t judge myself for the experiences I’ve made. But I’m living from a spiritual peaceful place them coming out just to help others. And I can’t tell you how many emails responses I get from people all over the world that just call me randomly email me randomly Jeremy changed my life. Thank you so much. That you know I was going through tough times with the COVID I had a young lady that’s in Las Vegas she emailed me two weeks ago and said Jeremy changed my life. I was searching for a motivational podcasts. I searched positivity and yours came up. And I was blown away. I lost my job. You know, I have no money. I’ve got a young child at home. I don’t know what to do, right? But just having that mental spirituality, that peacefulness well come over to you, man, I’m telling you just makes a big difference and we will talk about it enough.

Brandon Handley 30:23
I think that um, you know, a piece a piece of that, right? Like, can talk to me like a little bit about what you’re feeling when you say spirituality because here’s another thing that, you know, I’m, I’m kind of tripping over the past few days, is when somebody says they’re spiritual, but like, they don’t believe in God or a higher source. There’s like, I’m spiritual. I’m like, no, not. Because like that answers. It’s void of weight and substance right sometimes. Sure. And so, you know, that’s why, you know, I saved you. So when you’re saying spiritual, to me, what do you what are you saying?

Jeremy Todd 31:00
I have a secret question. I am agnostic at best. I believe there’s a higher power that I believe there’s a higher source. I believe everything in my life happens for a specific reason. This is why I’m here. I don’t think my mind is or my brain is big enough to comprehend what all is going on. What I do know is that everything that’s happened in my life has happened for a specific reason. Whether that being a higher being whether that being God, whether that be Butoh, I mean, I’ve studied every possible type of religion in the world. But I believe there is something else out there, there has to be. And and again, I don’t know what that answer is it. It’s hard for me to comprehend. It’s hard for me to work my way through it. But what I do know is that I continue to do what I believe is the right thing to do. Everything always has worked its way out every single time in my life. It always has and always will. So when you talk about my spiritual for a specific, you know, white God on top of the cloud with a white beard, right, that’s not my spirituality

Brandon Handley 31:58
now, but it sounds like you’ve got a There’s a grand design greater great. There’s got to be like a universal intelligence that has kind of a design aspect. Otherwise you would have driven off the road that night. Otherwise you wouldn’t have made it home safely that one time. Otherwise, you know, I mean, I do

Jeremy Todd 32:17
know. Okay, so it’s it’s a tricky thing to think about. Because, you know, typically when you hear the word spiritual, you’re on Jesus and God and then well, that’s the thing is that my spirituality? I’m sorry. I mean, it’s great. And I and I respect that. I respect all religions respect everybody, but it’s just not what I believe I

Brandon Handley 32:36
was just not the one that speaks to you right now. Right. So

Jeremy Todd 32:40
yeah, no judgment, obviously. no judgment. Yeah. So

Brandon Handley 32:42
so for me more and more recently, right. It’s come to kind of my attention, right that this, every one of these religions is just kind of a framework to the place where you’ve gotten to right now place where I’ve gotten to right now. So we’ve got a set of have potential instructions. If we were to arrive at this point in our lives right now and be like, I’m freaking out, man, I know there’s something inside me it’s coming out. I liken it to like being a seed to write like, our bodies are spiritual seeds, right? This is this cell right here, right? And that you know sounds to me too like again I’m just I’m just coming pulling shit on my butt but like it sounds to me like you know that that spirit within you is starting to on fertile right just like a C correct and a show and there’s no stopping it right it’s like it’s like asphalt doesn’t stop like a grass seed from cracking through it, right? Yeah, exactly. And so you’ve got like this you’ve got like this life energy right now that is just unfolding, and you’re letting it unfold within you right now.

Jeremy Todd 33:49
Right? And you know, there I’ve also you know, looked into there’s a lot of studies or a lot of free legends have said that, that there is no god we are all our own God. Our God is within ourselves. We have all greatness we all we are everything that we want to be in candy. We just have to access that and work our way through it. That’s another thing that you know, again, maybe that’s the answer.

Brandon Handley 34:12
So so I can help you out with this one. Right and you just just from personal experience, right. So I’m in, But to your point earlier to what degree like you know, like I like you know, I’m holding the wheel just in case, right I actually got this number right, right, right. But it actually Joe dispenza Oh no, I think it was rah rah Robin Sharma or Joe dispenza. I’ve got 210 minute pieces that I listen to all the time from both of those guys to send them to me. Absolutely man. So one of his like you if you rise to your level of thinking, Okay, okay. So, if you rise to your level of thinking and your current level thinking is that you are a human being What’s your maximum potential? Right here? maximum potential is your whom human being potential, which sometimes seems limited. Okay with that, well, if God is everything or you know, is it even within me then there’s something godlike within me, right? At least I’m attached to God somehow and I’m a part of that. Now I’ve got a different level of thinking. Right? Because now my being has changed. Right? Or, you know, again, you know, we can you can play with like, which beingness are you right now? Yeah. hanging out in divine being right. I salute the Divinity within you right now. mistake. Sure,

Unknown Speaker 35:40
sure. So,

Brandon Handley 35:42
if you’re a divine being, then you also are willing to accept grace, which is divine strength, outside strength, right, and kind of so that changes your level of thinking, I look at everybody as a divine being, right. So can we agree more, if we’ve got that and that’s my level. Thinking, what’s to stop me?

Jeremy Todd 36:02
Nothing. So I mean yourself. I mean, your your, your ego? I mean, I don’t know. I mean,

Unknown Speaker 36:08
if you let that go, I mean, that’s all stuff, you gotta let go.

Jeremy Todd 36:11
There’s no question. You know, I think it’s all those things that that that continue to work on is letting that go. But it’s not. It’s not like hitting a switch. It’s not like often, you know, it’s a process. Yeah, it’s, that’s what I love about it.

Brandon Handley 36:22
It’s a slow build, you know, it’s just like anything else. This is kind of a you know, and you can change again, you’re like, Alright, well, you know, ratchet that different thinking, but if you rise to your level of thinking, What are you thinking about yourself? Right? Again, I’ll separate those two words. Sure. What are you thinking about yourself? Is that is that an XYZ nature if it you know, what, what nature of the self? Are you sure? Yeah,

Jeremy Todd 36:48
no, I get it. It’s a tough topic to talk. I mean, I don’t want to say it’s even tough. It’s just for me, it’s just working my way through that mental process. And I think to myself, Well, imagine what you know, like Three years ago, you know where I’m at now versus three years ago, were just gonna be three years from now. I mean, man, it’s just working your way through this and getting better and getting smarter and getting stronger, and getting more free. I just I just love I just love life, man. I love the love the journey. I love the conversations. I love the deep topics. I just miss what we’re here for. Right? Bam. So, again, I

Brandon Handley 37:22
feel like that’s kind of where you’re at. Right? you’re you’re you’re working on this kind of determining, yeah, who the self is right? And then like, how are you harnessing it right, you’re stepping into your power and making that determination for yourself every day? Yeah, I mean, tell me like I’ll place you. Where’s the practical application for this for yourself? Like where someplace you’ve applied this like way of thinking.

Jeremy Todd 37:48
I did everything. I mean, literally, I literally I mean I go to work. I’m that weird guy. I do my podcast. I’m not different do as a parent. I think that’s one of the most powerful places you can do. It is not get caught up with Like being you know, I’m not I’m not a guy that’s gonna like, I guess parenting is different for me than a lot of other people that I see because I had these deep conversations with my kids. And I tell them that, hey, it doesn’t matter what happened, you know, if you made a mistake, it’s okay. It’s not a mistake. It’s a learning process. It’s becoming the better person that you are. My kids are weird. And I love it. I love them for it weird to society. You know, they’re weird. Yeah. But they’re brilliant. They’re smart. And we have these deep conversations. And that’s probably the most important thing that I can push on to them is that you know that the power of who they are the power of what they look like the power of their, their selves. The more with kids getting beat down over social media, their friends, and we’re talking to them about different stuff that other parents aren’t talking to our kids about. They can deal with this every day and this is not an easy conversation for them either. But the more we have it, the more we understand that that is okay and the stronger they become at a younger age. I would you know, no disrespect to My parents, but I would never had these conversations with my kids when I was a kid. You know, it wasn’t even thought

Brandon Handley 39:04
of you never had that conversation. different times. Right?

Jeremy Todd 39:07
Correct. But you know, hey imagine 30 years from now what are my kids gonna be look like by having these conversations now? Hopefully I’m around for but my kids are gonna be so much more well off more happier within themselves more comfortable with who they are, and not get caught up in the craziness. That is that is life. So, right. That’s by far the number one thing by far

Brandon Handley 39:29
your parenting so your planet, you know, and your parenting life. This is

Jeremy Todd 39:32
weird parenting, though it’s just different and not weird, or it’s just different parenting different from what you grew up with. Right? Yeah, and as many people do, but man, I just think it’s the most powerful thing you can do right now is to teach that to your children. about spirituality. What does it mean? What does it mean to them? What does it look like? What do they believe? And then not bashing them? Like, you know, I was born and raised Catholic. That’s the that’s the only way you thought was born, raised Catholic.

Unknown Speaker 39:54
Sure. Jesus died on the cross God blah, blah, blah,

Jeremy Todd 39:57
Heaven and Hell and all that good stuff. That was all Have you thought anything different? You were on Galston?

Unknown Speaker 40:03
Yeah. But what literally?

Jeremy Todd 40:05
Yeah, literally Yeah. Yeah. I mean, literally you were, I mean, kicked out of school, this kid, this kid’s got something wrong with them. But in reality, that’s not the case. And again, I think that’s one of the most powerful things that that I’m doing right now. And, you know, the mother of my children does, we’re on the same page for that, too. So it’s great. I mean, it couldn’t be any better right now.

Brandon Handley 40:24
That’s cool. So just integrating it with your daily life is kind of how you’re applying it practically. And

Jeremy Todd 40:30
yeah, you know, again, it’s it’s it’s easier said than done. I know, but I’m doing so often. I love the reactions i get i give such different opinions on different topics in different situations that I don’t care what anybody says, This is how I truly feel. This is my opinion. It’s not right or wrong, right. But I may see something different than may open someone’s up someone’s eyes instead of falling in line. That’s what we get to do. This is what this is, you know, going to church on Sunday. You’re doing this you’re doing it. Oh, I mean, I am and I support that to do your thing.

Brandon Handley 40:59
Well, yeah. Yeah, look man, like, like we said, Yeah, everybody’s path is their own path. Right. Yeah. I think that that’s I think that you know, when they created this country that was the pursuit of happiness right the the freedom was a religion was those things right was you know, hey listen this is a true thing. A lot of us Christians here but uh you know

Jeremy Todd 41:23
that now religion one of the greatest the constitution one of

Brandon Handley 41:26
the greatest things ever and I love it Listen man I think there was a powerful document right and i think that that’s just another one of those things that we take for granted.

Jeremy Todd 41:33
Right? It is and it’s freedom of speech freedom of I mean for women they carry handgun freedom, you name it freedom. I just love it because I can be who I am and we’re very, very blessed. But what are the chances? This is another thing what are the chances of us being born in this country at this time out of any other country on any other planet in any other situation? I mean, how lucky and blessed are we?

Brandon Handley 41:56
Well, I think that that’s a huge part of the story. huge part of the entire outlook Jeremy, what you’re saying right there is that, you know, if you look at where you are, and everything you do is what I’m here to say is like as a miracle,

Unknown Speaker 42:11
it is miracle that we’re blessed

Brandon Handley 42:14
right then. And could you could you imagine a better time in the anytime to become yourself?

Jeremy Todd 42:22
No, no. I mean, can you imagine me being born with a horse and carriage? I would have been dead 25 years ago. You could survive. You

Brandon Handley 42:31
know, I’ll tell you, man, I know. I know. Definitely growing up. I did a lot of like things that, you know, I should have gotten my ass kicked for. But I definitely would have gotten a shot for like an 1800s type of thing. Like,

Jeremy Todd 42:42
I mean, exactly. I am so soft and so fragile. I would have no chance 100 years ago, but I wasn’t I mean, but hey, even now, I could have been born in South America or North Korea or meat. I mean, you name the country. Well, you could be born anywhere but

Unknown Speaker 42:59
here it is. Man, I’m just

Brandon Handley 43:02
so blessed. I think it’s a beautiful time, man. I think it’s a beautiful time we’re in so Brother, listen, I know. I mean, we always love catching up on loving hearing your journey and you know how you’re just you know, loving on your spiritual self and you keep growing that right and you’re leading with that. Tell me like yeah, listen, people never heard you before. So where should they go check you out? If you haven’t heard me,

Jeremy Todd 43:23
come on, come on rapidly for obviously, you remember the positive side podcast. It’s the positive side podcast. You check out the positive side podcast calm, but more importantly, just hop on the show. And again, the intentions of the show truly, truly, truly are just to just tell my random stories through life, the stuff that I struggle with, to share those messages to understand that hey, if you are struggling, you are going through these tough times. You’re not alone and we’re all going to get to this together. We’re all going to get better we’re all gonna get stronger. So that’s the biggest thing. Or you can always email Jeremy Jeremy at Jeremy Todd COMM But then, more importantly, Brandon, I love this show. Man. This is like the perfect show for you. It’s this is like you wheelhouse bro. I’ve just been a long time ago. That’s

Unknown Speaker 44:04
right. I was afraid.

Unknown Speaker 44:06
Sure. I get

Brandon Handley 44:07
it. I was afraid. I was afraid. And but it’s where I wanted to be, which is the funny thing, right. And so what’s what’s funny is that it is opened up but is blown up and opened up like the reception. Yeah. And so me just going and doing that thing that I was so afraid to do so many years ago. Self permission. Yeah. Yes. I mean, I think that you know, listen, if you made it to the end of the podcast, that was the message that you need to hear today, man, this is like, self permission. So Exactly. Alright guys. Thank you so much, Jeremy. And we’ll chat next time. Oh, hell yeah,

Jeremy Todd 44:45
brother. Thank you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

How deep is your well?

Brandon Handley 0:00
What is going on? spiritual dope? How are you? You’re not a spiritual dope, you’re about to get some spiritual dope. Hey so just checking things out seeing how you are today and I figured I’d share a little bit on the initiate it and kind of the initiation process and what that looks like so you know, where I sit, there’s a number of people that I’ve spoken with over over the years. And it seems that for them, life seems to peak out around 30 Hold on, quote unquote, fun is gone for these people, and they are no more parties, no more going out getting wasted and just galavan saying with no worries, and and, you know, they believe they found themselves now in their 30s in a place that they feel like they’re, they’re stuck for life. This is where they kind of land when they’re 30. It’s kind of where they’re routed. Right? This is where they stay for ever. And this reminds me about the baby elephant at a circus. If you’ve ever seen an elephant at a circus, you’ll see that there’s a stake in the ground. And there’s a tiny rope that’s attached to this elephant’s foot. The thing is, is that elephant could very easily just lift his leg breakaway and walk off on his own. But he doesn’t. Do you know why. The reason that the elephant doesn’t just lift up his leg and doesn’t just break away is simply because that’s how he grew up. The elephant grows up when they’re tiny, they stick them to the stake and they stick this string this rope on their leg and they can’t when they’re young age, they cannot, they are not able to move their leg off of that steak no matter how hard they try. The thing is, is that after a certain period of time, they stop trying, they stop trying to move their their leg, they stopped trying to escape because they tried so many times before. They just know it’s not possible for them. And now I know that I recognize this in my own life. I was able, I wasn’t able to identify it right away. Now. I mean, look, it took me a long time to actually identify this, I was about 38. And there was a certain panic. In my life, the panic was this feeling of knowing that there was something more to life, but I was tethered, just like this elephant to a stake. And, and since uh, since I’m human, I realized that I realized that I had been tethered and I was Unlike the panic was I’m stuck, I’m stuck. Oh my gosh, I gotta get out of this right away. All right. And I was looking for a quick way out of this. And meds, right. I was like I was looking for I was looking for a fix to one solution and a feeling maybe. Right. And I thought that that that my problem, my primary problem that if I just fix this one problem, I’d be able to do whatever I want, right, that was the silver bullet. And you know, at that time, I thought my It was my inability to focus. So, you know, the magic bullet. I took it, and it gave me a new issue for right. Instead of instead of correcting the issue that I had, it created a new issue, which was to hyper focus on all the trivial things in my life and complain about them. I was really Weird and it just it and, and going through the site is critical of mag, my wife critical of my children, I was focusing on things that just didn’t matter. And it almost cost me everything almost cost me my marriage time with my children. And even if even if Meg had accepted me because you know, she’s the one who’s really taught me throughout my life, how to accept people as they are and love them unconditionally. You know, I feel like that that may have happened. It would be miserable for everybody. If you misery for everyone involved. This had to stop. I had to change. I had to change my plan. They was how I was going to do this. I’d recognize that I hadn’t ever really participated in my own life.

I’d never gotten clear. I need to look back over my life. And it had been it had been a good life. And by some standards, some people might even say that it It had been a great life. As a matter of fact, I still recall somebody asked me, he says, says, Brandon, you know why? Why are you looking for more? You’ve got, you know, all these things. And I said, I said, I said, Man, look, let’s do this. I’ve gotten this far. And everything that I’ve gotten today, I haven’t even tried, right, I’m sure I’ve put in some effort, but wasn’t being clear. Was I being intentional? Was I driven by a purpose? Or was I just acting from a state of survival? And, you know, that’s, that’s how I’d recognized let’s see what happens if I initiate the change myself. What happens if I’ve looked for find and implement clarity within my own life, what would be possible then, what would be possible then? And listen, initially, once you once you recognize this, once you recognize it That, that these are some of the drivers that you if you put these into your life that there’s so much force behind them, you’ll find yourself going after that non stop. And that’s what I did I initiated absolutely Initially, I initiated I put the time in I began to read ravenously I hadn’t read for years and I picked up these these self development books, personal growth books, parenting books, I mean, look, I was doing a podcast on parenting and I had the feel Oh, so what can I share? What can I learn, implement and share? Alright, so I took classes online I’d taken you know, finance, I’d taken so many coaching classes. I’ve participated in coaching programs the I began to work out eat better change my habits took on one coach opened up which and that opened I opened up to my dreams, right. I took on a second coach that Coach, you know, as you kind of go on, you’re taking this coaching. What was funny, that coach literally, it was kind of an accent but so at the bottom of, of our agreement that I would double my income within a year, just about so every day a little bit of work every day putting pressure on myself, like a, like it was some kind of sprint. And I realized that I need to slow down or burnout right? I had to realize that this was a long game. And I paused for a second. And literally, I did I took some deep breaths. I took some more time for myself. And focus time right meditation and just just reading timeless, universal truths, you know, stoicism eaching, which is really the biggest two but you know, it’s been a lot of time reading those. And and within this space. Within this practice was something that I had not expected to happen. This was the exact process of initiation right at forged a new key as it were, if you’ve ever heard the saying that old keys don’t open new doors, I forged a new key and a new door become exposed at the time and it showed me you know, expose possibilities of who I was. And Unlimited, creative, caring, loving child of the universe, right? And and this was something that I was already aware. It’s once you it’s like you rediscover who you are recognized that I have to go through this process right I recognized that. I was already merged with source I’ve recognized the line now of you’re a spiritual being having a physical experience that opened up to the universe and ever since then, I’ve recognized the source flowing through me right lifeforce, whatever you want to call it God, Jesus Buddha, well, you know, whatever it is divinity, Grace, the strengthening of the Divine strength. And I began to recognize myself as a conduit for the divine for the divine energy that creates worlds that flows through me.

And now, you know, I’m openly sharing some of this stuff, because even now even more is flowing through me. Because, you know, that first flow to recognize when you recognize it, right, it’s a trickle. And it’s almost scary. You’re like, what is this and should I share this as you kind of have no choice but to share it in a way that you’re sharing it all the time anyways, is it’s when you recognize it. And then you’re giving it away even more than them even more is gonna flow through you. If that makes sense. I mean, it’s kind of like the end. It’s, it’s it is love, right? It’s unconditional and you can never Never give too much and you’ll always be filled back up with it. But I’ve been hiding it right I’ve been, you know, I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it because I didn’t understand what it was. I didn’t understand what I was going through. But through all, you know, studies and listening, I mean, I can’t tell you the number of hours of audio listening to the dance of listening to other spiritual leaders, you know, and just some type of Christian charities. I’ve got the Skype bill, bill donohue, you know, hundreds of hours Vedanta Society of New York, hundreds of hours and really exploring, reading hundreds of I mean, just nonstop kind of really seeking and reading so that I could understand what it was that I had within me that I was trying to get at Right. So how do I how do I return this right return, literally return this and turn it out. And, and I did that through fatherhood for the rest of us podcasts. I did that through partially through the prosperity practice, and but it was still veiled. And it wasn’t until recently when I came across a couple of people that were already doing it, who were already leading from a place of spirituality. And I realized there was no sense that I wasn’t able to do this, right. There was no sense that I wasn’t going to be able to come out here and stop kind of shade my own life, right. And I was going to be able to interview these people sign a light on what they’re doing, how they’re how they found their spirituality and how they’re leading with their spiritual self. And it’s also that you so that can teach you and show you to do the same thing for yourself, right? The story is to help you reflect who you really are. Right. And the question that I’ve got for you at the end of this here is, are you ready to initiate life for yourself? Are you ready to cross that threshold of humanity? And are you looking for a sign? Are you looking for a sign? Are you waiting for a signal right to accept your own divinity? Well, I think this is it. If you stayed on to the end here, this is the call. Step into your greatness accepted. You are the Savior. In this instance, you’re your own Savior, no one, no one else can initiate this for you. You’ve got to be the one who initiates it. And then, you know, begin the process if you’re looking for help. If you’re you know, if you’re looking for the next phase in that, reach out to me, Brandon at spiritual dope, CO, or find me over on Facebook or Instagram at spiritual dope, and let’s have the conversation right? I mean, if you just know looking to get your story out there You’re just looking to understand what some of the next steps are for you, or even just for me fuel for the fire out, I texted someone the other day the fuel for the fire for some of this is just being able to share how you feel and be accepted for who you are because you are an amazing person. You’ve got an amazing story, you’ve got something incredibly creative within you that’s quite literally dying to get out. And it’s my hope to help you live to get that out right. Live by getting that out. So that’s it guys. Hope you’ve enjoyed this one. This one is really, really about the you know, initiating, right taking taking the initiation and being initiated. I know it’s a kind of a play on words, but I want I really want you to take that to heart

Transcribed by https://otter.ai