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Join in the conversation as we host Elyse Archer of She Sells this week on Spiritual Dope.

Connect with Elyse over at: https://elysearcher.com/

Also, Elyse, mentioned the book The Diamond Cutter, check it out below:

Brandon Handley 0:00
321 Hey there spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here. The voice of a generation as we know, Mays was self self indulge every once in a while and I’m on with a quite somebody quite special Elise Archer. And I’m just gonna, I’m gonna let her do the bio for herself in a second here. But before I do that, like Elise is the reason I do a podcast. Right? Before I met Elise, I’d never listened to a podcast, or I was like, fuck podcasts. Like, that’s not for me. And when I when I met Elise, Alicia, we’re doing your podcast with Greg and, Mark. Good. Morning. Yeah. And, you know, and then you know, we’re connecting at some of the networking events. And then I eventually hired you as my coach. And then when we got through the coach, it was for sales coaching, we got midway through the coaching. And I was like, This is more like, I’m getting life coach than sales coach. And and it’s okay, because it’s transferable, but like, as like, Well, you know, what, at least what we’ve been working on, like, it’s been the sales, but I really want to do this, like podcasts, and I was fully expecting you to be like, eyes on the prize brand and focus on what you said you were gonna focus on and you got it. And instead of doing that, instead of doing that, you’re like, well, how can I help you? Right, and you connect them with some other people. And that moment that that was like a life changing moment for me. So thank you for that. And I’m gonna let you do your own little brief intro. Like Elise, what do you all about? And share a little bit of that? And then we’ll get it going.

Elyse Archer 1:36
Oh, my gosh, I love that. Yeah, it’s it’s so cool, just to see what you’ve created in a short amount of time and to see the evolution of it as well. So yeah, thank you so much. I was just thinking before cutting on his podcast, this is so much fun for me, because I do most of the podcast interviews I do or straight business sales, personal branding. And so this is pushing my limits, because this is actually the stuff I care about, like this is, this is the real, I feel like everything I do in the sales and business world is kind of the Trojan horse to try to like, talk to people about spirituality and help them just develop and grow personally. So this is so much fun. Okay, so with that about me, I’m a new mom. So I’ve got a little boy, he’s six months old. And that’s so much fun. Yeah, yeah, it’s the best. I love it. I didn’t know how I was gonna feel elevated. I

Unknown Speaker 2:24
know.

Elyse Archer 2:26
My gosh, No, I know. And he’s kind of he’s past that, like the blob stage now. So he’s doing things which was, but especially for my husband, Jason, I think it’s more fun for him now that he can interact. And, yeah, I’m a business owner. So I do a couple different things. I’m a founding team member of a company called brandbuilders group or a personal brand, strategy firm. And then I also recently launched another brand that I’m running called T cells. And it’s a it’s basically sales, training and mentoring for women who want to break through six figures and learn to sell in a way that feels really authentic to them. And we can, you know, take this conversation wherever you want it to go. But that’s a lot of my background is coming from corporate sales and seeing, you know, sales and business strategies celebrated that, frankly, made me feel like crud when I implemented them, because they either kind of blurred the lines of integrity, or were all about Push, push, push, hustle, and I did it, I did what I was taught, and I financially, I did pretty well. But it was really, really detrimental to not just my mental health, my physical health too. And so a lot of my own journey has been about I would say, reconnecting with myself, like how I’m actually wired, how I was innately designed and learning to trust myself, trust my instincts, trust my body, trust my intuition. And, and I’m really lit up now about helping everyone do that. But specifically, I my brand really is catering to women, because I think so much of what we’re taught, just growing up is like, we, you know, our bodies look wrong, or they’re not the way they should be, or they’re for other people’s pleasure. And it’s just, it’s really disempowering. And so, I’m so passionate about helping myself reconnect with my power and then helping other women reconnect with their power as well. So that’s, that’s a little sliver of what I’m all about.

Brandon Handley 4:15
Just a tidbit.

Unknown Speaker 4:16
Yeah. Just a little bit.

Brandon Handley 4:18
I love it. I love it, you know. And again, you know, when we connected, it was just, I think it was a, it was just an interesting journey. You You and I are connection, right? And just kind of how that how that all? We’ll call it manifested. And let’s start off with the first question that so we have all day to talk. So usually like to start us off with, you talked about connecting with your power always align it with like source, right? So the idea is that source speaks through us to speak to somebody else, right, you kind of get this divine inspiration to share something with somebody else. So the deal is there’s somebody listening to this podcast today that needs you to kind of ignite them to connect them to their power through a message. And what does that message to that person today? At least?

Elyse Archer 5:08
I love that question. I mean, the biggest thing that shows up for me is to trust yourself. That’s like I said, that’s so much of what I feel inspired to share with this brand. And like I mentioned before, a lot of my journey, especially in my teens, and 20s, were, it was it was not trusting myself, and whether that was not not being proud of my body. And I struggled with an eating disorder for 17 years, or feeling like something was just off with, like a client situation or something I was being told to do at work. All the way to, you know, when we got pregnant for the first time, a couple years ago, I went into sheer panic, that I was like, I just, I felt like I was going to lose the pregnancy. And I went into sheer panic about it. Sure enough, we miscarried. And I learned in that moment, I didn’t trust my body. And it’s been so interesting, this journey of learning to I think a lot of times we have to like kind of be brought to our knees to be able to be open to whatever that that message is that we’re meant to receive, and then carry forth into the world for other people. And that was it for me. But then even talking with my mom about it, a lot of her own experience, too, was she didn’t trust her body. And I think a lot of this stuff goes back generationally. So you know that, whatever that thing is that you feel like you want to do, but you can’t do or you have this intuition to do something or you’re like that logically doesn’t make sense. If I could encourage someone to listen to it, and trust that it doesn’t have to make sense for anyone other than you and to kind of stop looking outside of yourself. Even I promise, I’ll be quiet in a second. So you can respond or ask your next question. But I think about the coach I’m working with right now like this was I just did a pretty big financial investment to work with a new coach. And I knew that it was going to trigger all of my scarcity mindset that I was part of me was still clinging on to I knew it. And sure enough, a couple of weeks in it did. And I knew in my core, my intuition this whole time that it was the right move. But logically, it would not be anything that my dad would have told me to do, it would have been anything that a lot of even business mentors, who I look up to would tell me to do and I was on a call with her a couple weeks ago, and I said, I found myself going into panic about making the wrong decision. She was like, when do you find yourself going into panic about that. And I said, usually I’m reading, it’s when I’m reading like a business book, or I’m listening to financial management training from somebody else. And she was like, stop it, cut it off for the next three weeks, no consumption of any of that stuff. And I cut it off, and I feel so at peace. So it’s not that we want to not learn and educate ourselves and challenge our thinking. But I think at the end of the day, you know, your best path for you. And you have to trust that everything that you’re doing and when you act on those instincts, it’s always unfolding for the greater good and for your greater good. So sometimes just putting those blinders on and trusting that you know, what you need to do, is the most powerful thing you can do. So that would be my message.

Brandon Handley 8:14
After keeping it short.

Unknown Speaker 8:15
I’m gonna be all day

Brandon Handley 8:20
I kid I kid I love it. I love it all like and one of the parts where you brought it to know you had to kind of come to your knees right to just kind of accept your your intuition piece for a lot of people would you consider that? You? d a fearful, dark night of the soul for you? Would you consider that a moment of a or maybe like even a dark night of the soul? Whatever, right? And then and then, you know, there’s the idea I love I love what you’re saying there with with your coach, because I bet you it’s almost like it’s almost like a deprivation for you knowing how much you consume to improve or be better or find another technique or whatever, right? Like Hmm, I have to cut all that off. Right like so you probably feel a little bit like a junkie having to withdraw from that at least look and I know this from my own experience, right? I’m like, I’m like What do you mean? Don’t Don’t do it all like right now.

Elyse Archer 9:16
So it was in that did one thing I’ll just add to that is like, she really kind of pushed me with that cuz she was I was like, but I love learning and learning is good. And I love reading. She was like, that’s your comfort zone. She said, study yourself for three weeks. Just study yourself. Whoa, this is so uncomfortable. But that’s right. That’s what we need.

Brandon Handley 9:33
Well, that’s tough, too. Right. So jumping in there and studying yourself. And what I’ll throw in there though, too, is like, so it’s very, I’m still going through this book again. Right? Like, are you ready to succeed? I can’t remember if I saw I might have sent you one too. I can’t recall if I did. I think I sent you have a kid’s book that isn’t yours. Yeah, I

Elyse Archer 9:50
don’t I’m not familiar with this book. So

Brandon Handley 9:52
this is Sreekumar Rao. This is actually by way of Elise Archer at some point. It was back in the day when we were doing the coaching There was a guy that I looked up Sreekumar Rao on like, you know, you are hardwired for happiness, right? And turned out like, you almost cried, watching his little story or whatever. And I was like, Alright, well, I gotta get his book, got his book, yada yada went through it. But one of the pieces in here it’s just really talks about there’s two pieces in here that you’re saying that resonate with me. And one is like, talking about putting all that effort in, right? Like I gotta do I gotta do I got consumed content consume content, you were finding like each time you like power, something that didn’t correlate with how you were feeling or doing it was like, it was like, striking the wrong chord. Right? Quite literally. It’s like, you’re like that is that is out of that is that’s out of tune with who I am. Oh, my God, I need to make an adjustment because this person, you wrote this book, he’s an authority. Right? He

Unknown Speaker 10:48
knows. Oh, my gosh, I

Brandon Handley 10:50
shouldn’t Holy shit. Did I do the wrong thing? Right. So that that’s one piece, right? is to not let the wrong thought in your head. Right? It’s better. It’s like better like like literally cut yourself like with a razor. He says in this book, this came from like a Swami. Right? It’s better to cut yourself like a razor than to let the wrong thought into your head. Hmm. Right. which I know sounds to me. Like, you know, that’s that’s kind of what was happening to you. Like, you know, you’re you’re on your path. But you’re like, you like this guy’s awesome. I love 98% of what he does. But this piece right here is just like a BB in my mind, right? breaking all my shit. And thank you so much. Right? And then and then the other piece is like, we’re trying to do it so fast. Right? We’re trying to we’re trying to do is we want it so bad. We’re trying to do it so fast. There’s another story in this book where he talks about the idea of, you know, if you try to do it so fast, and with so much energy, it’s actually gonna take twice as long. So it sounds like your coach sounds really similar to what your coach is saying is they stop taking all this like outside influence and jam in all this into your cranium. Study yourself, trust yourself. And that’s what you’re saying to is like, kind of trust yourself and believe in yourself and kind of tune out all the other shit.

Elyse Archer 12:01
Yeah, well, that’s so interesting what you said about if you try to like, push and force it into it so fast, it’ll take twice as long. It’s interesting. I hadn’t thought about it like that. But because it’s counterintuitive. It makes a heck of a lot of sense. Because you’re kind of going up river versus letting yourself flow and stuff, right?

Brandon Handley 12:18
Yeah. here’s, here’s how, like, I’ve visualized it more recently. And this is like, this year, right? Imagine, like, you feel like you’re literally putting all the thought energy or whatever things, right? If we’re putting all this energy into this place, right? Then nothing can get in. So if we create space for something to come in, right, if we back up for a second, and let it come to us, then it comes to us, right? Because otherwise we’re blocking it. We’re like, I’ve got to put everything into this spiritual energy, right? Like, I’ve got to put all of my, you know, essence energy into this thing. And I want it so bad. If it doesn’t, we’ve got all these things caught up with it. And instead of like, I do really want it I want it really bad, but like, I want it and kind of like, the way I like flowers and, you know, gardens and stuff where if I go and I plan it, you know, there’s that whole other thing to where, like, you know, if you plant something you don’t keep pulling it up, right? And check into the roots and be like, you plan it. Come back up. Yes, it does what it’s supposed to do. Yeah, it’ll do anyways. And those are some thoughts that are like, you know, coming on mine is I’m hearing your story, right? I’m hearing like your coaching unfold. So thanks for letting me ramble on

Elyse Archer 13:26
I love this. This is no I feel like I’m getting a good like a spiritual lesson from you. And this this is awesome

Brandon Handley 13:31
was so that was so here’s the other thing, right? Like Elise guys is I went through like my quote unquote, like a call, quote, unquote, because nobody can like point a finger and say, Hey, that was an awakening experience. But remember, if you don’t remember that time, I called you up. I

Unknown Speaker 13:43
was like, Oh, yes,

Brandon Handley 13:44
I went through some shit. I don’t know what it is. And it’s like an awakening experience. So Lisa’s been again, guys that’s, you know, just want to share our relationship with the people that are listening, right, and how this kind of all came together. You came to me as like a sales coach. But what ends up happening was all this inner work that I hadn’t done before for personal growth, and it manifested into culminated into like kind of an awakening experience. Right. And from there, we still maintained and again, that was another thing where you were like, Well tell me more about that, like, because you’re just as excited as I was for that, too. So I think that that’s says a lot about kind of who you are and what you accept in your life. So I do want to hear like, you know, how you talked about helping people find themselves spiritually through your own process. And I’d like to hear how you’re doing that. Because what happened with me might not have been intentional. And and, you know, how do you feel like you’re doing it intentionally right now?

Unknown Speaker 14:43
Oh, wow.

Elyse Archer 14:45
Yeah, gosh, I don’t so I don’t have like an intentional method to it. I think it’s more me think about that cuz I want to actually, I want to, I want to think about what the right or just what the true answer is for me there. I think I think for me, a lot of my own journey has been around overcoming a lot of feelings of unworthiness and worthlessness. And I think a lot of that is conditioned, that’s part of why a lot of the, like the clients I work with are in a business environment in a business setting. And so a lot of times they’ll come for, you know, I want to make more money, or I want to grow my personal brand and presence and just through that process, usually what comes up is, are there tactical, pragmatic things that they can do to do that? Absolutely. But also, and I think the more important thing is we dig into just limiting beliefs that are showing up for them around, you know, I want to make this amount of money, but even the word want means you don’t have it, right. So it especially the women, I work with those, those cut, you hear more than their story. And they talk about feeling unworthy or scared to show up or scared to speak up. And it doesn’t matter how good your website is, or how good your sales process is, if you have that limiting view of yourself, you’re only going to be able to operate within a box that’s like this big right? And get results that are about that big. So I really like I said, I don’t have a set processes, something I’m kind of like working on developing on right now. Because I do want to be able to take people through a more like a more intentional process. For me, it’s typically kind of intuitive with my clients. But that’s usually what I’m listening for when I hear my clients talk is, what are they actually saying about themselves. I was on a call with a potential client the other day. And the first thing she said when she got on our call was she said, Oh, you know, I’m just sitting here procrastinating, like I always do. And she’s a woman who wants to break through six figures this year in her business, and she’s a go getter. And she you can tell like she’s you know, she’s an aggressive goal getter. But the first thing I said was, whatever you describe you prescribed, right. So if you’re sitting there saying, I’m procrastinating, like I always do, you’re going to continue to procrastinate on accomplishing your goals on making your sales calls on whatever it is. So I just I think because so much of my own journey involves poor self talk poor or poor self image, I can hear it, and I can see it and other people. And then that’s what I try to pull out. Because usually we’re just we’re not even aware of it. It’s so ingrained in how we think and how we talk. And most of the people around us usually use disempowering language and thoughts. And so it’s kind of just part of our society. But once you realize, once you’re aware of it, you can’t unknow it. Right. And so I care so much now for myself about how I feel and how I speak about myself. And I try to get my clients to that same level of self awareness. Because the tactical stuff is like 5% of the actual process, the 95% of it is how you think and what you believe you deserve. So I don’t know if that answered the question. Like I said, there’s not a real thought out process. It’s super intuitive for me, but that’s, um, that’s that’s kind of how I do it

Brandon Handley 18:01
a little bit. I mean, it sounds like there is right, so the process is to kind of just identify where they are, right? You know, are they saying something that, you know, you’ve been able to get look as, I don’t think it’s any different than being a doctor, right? Kind of, when, when you first start off, you’re like, maybe I shouldn’t amputate that leg, I don’t know. But I’m gonna go ahead and I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go ahead and cut that one off, you’re doing the same thing with like somebody limiting beliefs, right? Or identifying it. And over time, over time, like you become skilled enough to be like, Oh, that’s this. That’s this. That’s this. That’s this just because of your exposure, experience. And then your own way of working with people in that space, seeing what works. A lot of these things that you’re using a lot of the tools that you’re using, I’m guessing, aren’t brand new, right? These are tools that have been around for quite some time that have had success for years and years and years. It’s just how do you how do you share those tools with these people? So what would be like one thing that you help? Like, when you identify like a limiting belief within somebody else? Right? How do you how do you identify that for somebody to get them past that? Yeah, well, I

Elyse Archer 19:07
think the first thing is just reflecting it back to them. So that’s part of where there is value in having a coach a mentor, just somebody who can hear how you talk. And and actually help help you become aware and almost be a mirror for Do you realize you just said that? Because like I said, oftentimes, our language is so it is it is so subconscious, we don’t even realize we’re saying it. So it’s like, hey, do you realize you just said that? And then oftentimes people don’t even realize it’s a problem. They’re like, well, so you know, so what? So what did I said that and I think so for some people, they’re already really into law of attraction and, and positive self talk, but for a lot of people I work with, they’re not familiar with, with what that means, and how it how it impacts them. So we talked about, you know, whatever you’re saying you’re giving a command to your subconscious to create this thing in your life. And so we start to look at what’s a new and better and different way you could say that The other thing that has been really profoundly transformational for me in my life and that I recommend for a lot of my clients is Joe dispenza his meditations like I am, I’m guessing you follow Him, and I’m such a fan of his work. But every single morning, I’m doing those meditations. And I asked my clients to do the same, and it helps you start to feel the feelings of abundance, genius. Courage, right? All those things that, that we want to embody. And so I get all my clients doing that, as long as they’re open to it, and that is pretty darn transformational as well.

Brandon Handley 20:40
Now, 100%, right, yeah, Joe dispenza is great. He’s one, there’s one that I listened not not even. Not even a meditation, but he’s got like a 10 minute piece that like I listened to all the time. It’s just, it just reminds me like not to look at like, not to look at my social media first thing in the day not to, you know, to retune yourself, right, like to retune your your whole, you know, your whole experience? Do you live life on your terms? Not according to what kind of everybody else is already doing? And that’s why I enjoy him and that. So meditation, getting them to connect with the meditations? Or where did you find that to be kind of like the game changer? a game changer for you? Hmm.

Elyse Archer 21:24
You know, it’s so I’ve been meditating off and on for probably five years, probably, well, I really longer than that, but like, actually really going for it for about five years. But I would say it’s, I kind of, I would do it for a while, and then I’d get off of it. Because it was like, you know, I’m still I still was in the mindset of i, this time would be so much better spent if I was sending emails or creating the social media posts. So I was still in that mindset. And really, I would say, it’s, it’s honestly been more in the past few months that it’s kicked in, for me how critically important it is. Where, even though I think I had done a fair amount of work on releasing anxiety, and like I mentioned, like not trusting myself and stuff. So I’d gotten to a pretty good place about 12 months ago, but I still would have almost this low grade anxiety running all the time in the background, especially on Sunday nights, looking at the week ahead of like, Oh, you know, I’ve just I’ve still got all this stuff that’s been done that I thought I was gonna try to get done this weekend, did I just piled too much on my plate, and then I would kind of beat myself up about just not being, you know, good enough. And I Gosh, if I was better, I could have gotten this done. So it was this habit in this perpetual like cycle that my body was almost addicted to the feeling and the anxiety. And some time, I think sometimes we just have a moment. And for me, I just had a moment, I was like, doing it this way, has gotten me this result. I’ve been feeling this low grade anxiety for years for most of my life. What if I didn’t have to feel that way? What if that wasn’t the reality for everybody? What if I was what if it was just a decision that I was going to feel differently. And that’s when I started really doubling down into a lot of Joe’s work, and into just studying, you know, the different energy centers of the body and how to get them in coherence. And I will say, I mean, it’s a very short time as of the recording of this interview, but for about a week now, I’ve had really consistent checks up brain heart coherence, where you just you feel like in the flow all the time, no matter what. I had that for about a week, and it’s been so transformational. Like, I’m not afraid of anything that’s coming, I’m not anxious, I’m at peace, I’m present. With the people I’m talking to. I’m excited. I’m not triggered by stuff the way I was. And it’s just it’s a totally different, I was able to get there like a little bit before and I could get there and kind of keep it for a while during my meditations. But then something would happen in life, and it would trigger me or throw me off and I’d have to like work to get back. And it’s been really darn consistent. For like I said, about seven days. And I think it’s it was just a decision of, I can have this all the time if I want. And so now i’m i’m showing up on that meditation, that was some ferocity my friend cuz he’s like, Oh, this is good, how much? How much better could it get?

Brandon Handley 24:19
You show it to meditation be like, I’m gonna take this bitch down. Yes. So so that’s great. So there’s, there’s a word that I use in tandem kind of with, with with, with what you’re talking about there. And that’s the word numinous. Right? Like where you’ve got this connection to source and it’s just effervescent. And it sounds like that’s been your week, right? Nothing can derail that, right? There’s nothing stronger than it and there’s no worry, you’ve given yourself some trust, you’ve given yourself some grace. And there’s a it’s just such a great feeling, right? Like how did happen and where’s and it’s always been available. Right, that’s the thing like to you’re like, well, all I had to do was make a decision to make this a conscious choice.

Elyse Archer 25:06
That was it. Yeah, that and it’s and it’s not like nothing has happened, like, I got a mega tax bill I wasn’t expecting because of a miscommunication with my accountant. And in the past that would have that would have thrown me, you know, and this I was like, okay, like, I, you know, I am being honest, it threw me for a couple minutes. And then I just like I’m snapping back into it, because nothing is worth sacrificing this level of vibration and awareness and feeling nothing. So we’re just going to do it and move on. Yeah,

Brandon Handley 25:37
yeah, no, absolutely. 100%. Right. So I thought I definitely talked about this in my process, too, right? To where you make the decision, right, literally, like, so I created that, you know, this thing called the divine framework, right, the first piece of the first piece of this puzzle that you just talked about, is to make the decision. Yes. Right. Like, this is it? This is I’m going for it. Right. But the one thing that, you know, you talked about, like kind of this belief system, you talked about the boxes right and and discover on uncovering kind of like the those limitations, right? Those self imposed limitations. It’s kind of like this whole mindset thing. This is just how spirituality has kind of shown itself for me, right? Like I did the I did the coaching with you awesome stuff. Great stuff went through like law of attraction, right? And I was like, well, this is this is all kind of stuff that I’m putting out there. What if I shake it back and understand that this is a benevolent universe? And that it probably wants things more for me than I actually want for me. What can you show me? Right? And how can I take who I am eternally spirit, like spiritual DNA is perfect, right? I mean, we all have, we all share the same spiritual DNA. But I went from having a human mindset with all these worldly things that we know how to use, right. And, to your point, I’ve made it this far with this human mindset with this human capability. As like, what happens if I choose divinity? What happens in right? What happens if I’m connected to source at all time? And if I accept that source is everything, right? Who, you know, what am I capable of then? Right? And so that’s just fucking blew the lid off it. I’m like, you know, and that’s, that’s that again, just another choice to make right then. And so you can take a look at spirituality and the, you know, you can call it maybe it’s Christ consciousness, I don’t know, right to decide, like, Hey, listen, this is this is Buddhist consciousness, I make this decision to do what you did, to say. I’m just gonna stay connected to this ship, because I feel real good. I don’t have to drink to get here. I don’t have to get high to get here. All I have to do is show up and decide to be here. It can’t be that easy lease.

Elyse Archer 27:56
It’s it. It is literally it is a decision. I mean, that’s it. That’s been a huge lesson for me in the past 12 months that I think we could be scared to make that whatever the decision is. Whether it’s a decision to show up differently, a decision to to move right a decision to, for me invest in this, this high level coach. One other thing that happened for me a couple months ago is I made it not I guess it was more a month ago, I made a decision to spend more money than I knew where it was going to come from to work with this particular woman. So I felt very intuitively guided to do it. And I remember going through the fear and I like I said yes to her verbally. And then I like kind of shrugged back for a week and I vacillated It was like, Oh, this is a bad idea. It’s not it’s not responsible. It’s not smart. And I reached the point. And I think you saw my video I did on Instagram about this. But I was just thinking about why am I not moving forward on this. And it was the fear of the unknown. It was the fear of making a bad decision in the unknown. And, but what it reminded me of was, when I was in my late 20s, I was in a just a, I was in a marriage that was really toxic. And I was so scared to leave because I was afraid of the judgment of being young and being divorced. And my family put a lot of money into the wedding and we were only I mean I knew before I got married to him I shouldn’t have but at this point where I reached kind of the turning point we were like 1214 months in I was so scared to do it because of the fear of judgment and what was going to be on the other side would I ever find someone who was actually a good fit for me all that stuff. And I just reached a point where I said it can’t be worse than this you know so let’s let’s pull the trigger and do it and so I I asked for the divorce and six months to the day that I did. I met Jason who’s my husband I knew within minutes that he was going to be my husband. very inconvenient by the way in North Carolina. You’ve got to be separated for a year so we were still tech Are you gonna you remembered for a year for you to get remarried.

Brandon Handley 29:58
For the for the guys out there. They listen, they’re gonna probably, they’re gonna want to know, what can somebody do in a couple minutes to make some money?

Unknown Speaker 30:07
Right? I

Elyse Archer 30:08
know, I know. Yeah, they are. He just showed up and I was like that, you know, you hear about you know it when you know it, you know it I’ve never had that experience before. But I, I knew him. I knew that I was meant to be with him. So that’s a whole nother story, because then I had to proceed to chase him and date him and all of that stuff. It was a frustrating courtship, I will say, but here we are. So

Unknown Speaker 30:29
if I had to do one, that one, I won that one. Yeah.

Elyse Archer 30:33
But if I had not left that situation that I was so scared to leave, I would not have met him. And we would not have our son jack now. And that just puts things into perspective for me. And I think everyone can relate to something in their life where they’ve been so scared to make a move, because they didn’t know what was on the other side. But think about what happened in your life is a result of what you have now that you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t stepped out in faith. And for me, that was like, this is it. Like, I don’t know what’s gonna happen on the other side of this, but I know, I can trust my intuition that’s leading me to do this. And I know something really good is gonna unfold, even if it’s not what I’m expecting. So it’s kind of that surrender, like, Alright, I’m along for the ride.

Brandon Handley 31:16
That’s it. I mean, that’s it. 100% right. You know, it’s, it’s following your intuition. And kind of, you know, trusting it. And for you, you know, that’s seems to be working fairly well. Seems like, hey, look, what I love, too, is like, you know, listen, no matter how much of this work you’ve been doing on yourself, I’ve been doing myself, anybody out there has been doing it themselves. years, right. You’re still catching yourself, like beating yourself up? Right? You’re still catching yourself. Like, you know, there are moments where everything’s not fucking perfect. And that’s okay. Like, and I think that, I think that that that can be a challenge too. Because to accept that right to to be able to say, this, this moment, right here is not ideal for me. But that’s still going to show up no matter how much work you do. And I think that that’s important for people to hear and understand. Because they put themselves in into, oh, I shouldn’t be feeling this way I shouldn’t, then they beat themselves up for feeling that way at all. Like you’re saying, like, I shouldn’t be doing this way. And, and and I should be you should I’ve done it differently. And all these other things. And I’ve had another guy that had on and I know well, you called it he has the acronym, acronym Tina, right? There is no alternative. However you did it, right. There’s no alternative to what’s already been done. Right? The only alternative mate would be like your perspective on that, like, as you move forward, you’d be like, you know what, you can look back and be like, you know, what, in my mind, at that time, this is what I thought was going on. But now if I look back, it’s a totally different scenario. your perspective on what happened may be different. But the actual event, there’s no changing it. Right? That’s your your way past it. Right. Yeah. But you know, so how would I mean, a dress that though right, especially for you know, you again, being a coach, having gone through, like all this work, and still finding, you know, yourself kind of having those challenging moments? Do you accept those for yourself? Or do you beat yourself up for having those and then, you know, how do you get through it? What do you do from there?

Elyse Archer 33:28
Yeah, yeah, that’s a good question. I, so I do accept myself for having those. And I used to beat myself up a lot over it. And I think a lot of that is just we see people, whether it’s our parents, or like, for me, I saw I like, I love my mom dearly, but I saw her do that my whole childhood growing up. So I that’s how I operated for a long time. So now with those moments, I am so conscious of how I talk to myself, because I realized if I beat myself up, I’m only perpetuating the negative emotion negative feeling, I’m just going to attract more of that back into my life. So yeah, I mean, even yesterday, I had an introduction to like, a big time, big time, big time podcast to go on. And I had been like, really psyched up.

Unknown Speaker 34:11
You know, we’ve been talking for a while.

Unknown Speaker 34:14
See, it’s always working.

Elyse Archer 34:18
So I had this. So this was like, you know, like, top 100. Like, it was a big it was a just in terms of audience a big show. And so I got myself kind of psyched up for it. And I get on the call with the woman I’d been introduced to who is kind of like the gatekeeper and she was like, Oh, I’m so sorry. If there’s a misunderstanding. You know, he’s booked up for a whole year like I just really wanted to get to know you. You seem like a cool chicken. It was like, in that moment, I felt I felt disappointment. And then I gave myself like two seconds to feel it. I was like, okay, nothing is worth feeling that nothing is worth perpetuating that. So let me instead flip this and focus on how can I show up for her in this moment because I genuinely believe everything is always working out. For me, and if this is not the thing that’s meant to be right now it means there’s something even better down the road. So cool. So let’s have fun with this. And let’s like, show up and have fun. And then who knows what will happen in the future. But I think it’s that an attachment to like things being so perfect that for myself, for a lot of people, right, I think a lot of women I work with everyone, we can get kind of caught up in perfectionism, and things have to turn out the way we thought they would. But when you can be kind of unattached and just more attached to like, feeling good and having fun and showing up in the moment. It’s, it’s a heck of a lot more enjoyable. And you end up

Brandon Handley 35:35
Yeah, listen, you could find yourself on spiritual dope, too, right?

Unknown Speaker 35:40
I love it.

Brandon Handley 35:41
But the deal is to have right like, I mean, that is, you know, the dude, you’re talking about that seven days of being connected. That is, that’s the spiritual high, right? That’s, that’s the, that’s what the spiritual dope is. That’s the hits. You know, when you got that meditation, and you’ve got that meditation buzz of man, I was just so connected, I was so aligned, I was so detached from, I don’t want to say worldly things. But I was so detached from all all the activity and things that I felt like we were talking earlier, like, oh, maybe I gotta go make another pose. Maybe I got to go do this, maybe I got I got, I’ve got 10 minutes, I can squeeze in like five posts, maybe I can I am in and check for emails, right. And instead of being like, like, your coach is saying, Go study your fucking self for a minute. Right? Like, you’re pretty special. Right? recognize that? You know, I think more recently, you know, some of the meditations that I’ll do would be like, how far can you visualize yourself out? Right? And I’d be like, oh, infinite, right? The edges of the universe? Yes. But then more recently, I was like, well, inside is just as infinite to like, how deep Can I go into myself, and it’s infinite. So it’s infinite internally as much. So like, that was there’s been like a new rocking revelation, right? Like, where you just kind of you go internally, and you just hang out with yourself. And you see that, like, you know, you are 100% connected to source at all times. And it’s like, you’re saying, it’s a choice to say, I’m connected in this moment, to the person to the lady that was on the call, or title for my own shit. And I could I could show up and be there for her, or be tied up my own shit. And again, you’re like, I’m gonna take this moment, be there for her. And be open for the intuition, the inspiration, what’s coming out of this that is meant to be like your best.

Elyse Archer 37:35
Yes. I don’t want to add something to what you said about just studying the depth of ourselves. So one of my girlfriends, her sister, passive cancer a couple years ago, and they were super close, super, super close. And I wouldn’t talk about this on most any podcasts. I’ll talk about it here because I feel like you’ll get it. So she her sister passed. And then a mutual friend of theirs, called my friend out of the blue a couple months later, and she was she was like, I don’t know, I just feel like I have to call you. And we needed to reconnect. And this, this woman also channels and connects with people on the other side. And suddenly, while they were talking, my friend’s sister Lauren started coming through her and say, like, really literally reconnecting with my friend and what Lauren was saying, was, she said, You have no idea how big we are. She said now that I’m on the other side now that I can see it. She said, imagine like zoom out look at your house. Imagine you’re looking at it from above. You see the house and then zoom out to the block and the street and then your city and then the world and then the universe. She said you’re so much bigger. She said we are so much bigger than we know. She said I can’t wait for you to see this and know this. But she was just like, it’s you should have this this one on your podcast, I can introduce you because it’s powerful. It’s so powerful. But that perspective from the other side of are so much bigger than we can even fathom. Have

Brandon Handley 38:59
you connected yourself to that yet? Um, have you had that experience for yourself?

Unknown Speaker 39:04
No. Have you I want to Oh, can can you tell me about

Brandon Handley 39:07
it? Because I mean, it’s you can’t right that’s the whole Yeah, you can’t that’s the whole like, mystery school mysticism. translate that thing now? I did do I did do one good podcast on it where I’m not sure if you’ve done breathwork yet.

Unknown Speaker 39:23
A little bit not

Brandon Handley 39:24
not a ton, but a little bit. It’s like it’s it’s it’s like, cracked out. Meditation. When done when done well, like when you when you nail you’ll know when you nail it because you’ll come out of it. Like, what the fuck just happened? And can I get more of that all the time? Anytime? And the answer is yes. Right. Which is also powerful because that’s just like, like I said, meditation force multiplied and add connections and scenes, that you know, in those moments, that that’s the That’s just like a knowing, right? Like, it can’t be anything other than that and and more back to what you were saying before is it doesn’t you don’t need an external validation for that type of thing. You know this as truth. Right and and so, yes, right and that’s the that’s the question all right and and you know, I had similar experience to where this actually so to Elise has meant guys just again so lease is a lease is actually responsible in part for spiritual dope as well I don’t know if I told you that or not it was the interview without What was her name last one you got me in contact with the spiritual

Unknown Speaker 40:41
Oh, Regina Yeah,

Brandon Handley 40:43
so I interviewed Regina for the prosperity practice which in its own right was fucking awesome. I did love it and actually enjoyed it. But I also realized that I was I was kind of, you know, trying to sell the people what they wanted, but then give them what they need. And finally, I was just like, you know what bucket like your friend, right? Like, a much bigger, you know, spirituality, right? our spirits are much bigger than our bodies and it’s self evident. There’s like, you know, recordings of it with just even just with your resonance, right? You talked about also like the mind, mind heart coherence, experience that often, right? And that’s through meditation, but again, like through a number of things, once you recognize how to connect that and resonate that piece, and then you’re like, oh, like, like, all the time like it just like, it’s so great. Anyway, so yeah, so I interviewed her. And I was like, Why? Why am I holding back? kind of the best part of me? The best part of like, what I believe, right? Because here was this, you know, here was this, you know, ex lawyer fucking doing it. Right? And I was like, why am I waiting? Right? For who? Who, who? And then this came all the way back from my first podcast. So anyway, so first podcast was like, who gives me the authority to do this, right? I do. You do. You give yourself the authority to be you, right? You know, to go out and do the things that you know, that you can do that you’re capable of that you’re called to do, right? And that’s what you’re doing now I get to be a witness to seeing you punch through like each layer of that shit, right. And that’s what’s been fun for me to kind of watch you too, because we’ve had I feel like kind of similar experiences in that way be like, like, this is all shit. I’m out of here. This is better, but and it’s not even leveling up. Right? It’s just finding yourself in a different space because even even to a different level of awareness to what already is. Right? It’s just and goes back to your belief system be like, how When do I get to the side? Like, there’s more? Well, there’s a whole universe that is currently yours at your disposal. How do you want to use it? Right? Do you want to use it if you if you again, if you want to use your human self have fun with that. Right? And you’ve experienced that? What do you want to do with your Divine Self? What do you want to do with your universal self? Like what other kind of mindset Can you put yourself into and there’s again, that’s unlimited to

Unknown Speaker 43:16
this is so good. Oh my god. Yes,

Brandon Handley 43:20
yes. Yes. So again, guys, it was Elise who connected me with Regina and then when I connected with Regina, my wife had a friend who was medium as well on channel with me so it was combination of my wife whose childhood friend who she connects me with my grandfather like my closest you know, kind of Anthony in my life and and doing it with Gina and like, it was like the the medium wrote like a coming out letter of like, mediumship, right, like to her family, like I’m coming out of the closet medium type thing. So I was like, I was like, You know what, fuck it I’m coming out of the closet like spirituality and we’re just we’re just gonna go do it and ever since Sinhalese blown up blown blown. I mean, just the doors been blown off the people I’ve connected with, you know, I just interviewed my man here. I released you know, and and that, that was no following intuition. There was a 215 phone number, which is a Philadelphia area phone number. I was like, You’re fucking up here. I’m calling. And I just called. I was like, I was like, I was like, Listen, I was like, I got like, you know, his pm and she was awesome. knew where she lived. We had this great conversation. I was like, I just got to let you know I love this book. I’ve gone through it like four or five times I leave groups on it, yada yada. Would he be open to being on the podcast and she goes, You know what he normally he hates them. But let me see what I can do. That’s so cool. But again, so thank you like this is kind of like a trivia tool, a lease podcast. A lot of a lot, a lot of things because it’s been a lot of fun and without your support. You know, in part, of course, like us, all other all other people that have been a part of the journey, but you’ve been a big part about it. So I thought I’d share that with you.

Elyse Archer 45:11
Thank you. Thank you. Well, any audience? Yeah. And I think to just to see kind of how you’ve, you’ve taken every step of your evolution and turn it into something that’s good for other people. And I think that’s really cool. Because I do think back to when we were first working together, and it was like, how do we sell more of these?

Brandon Handley 45:32
things? Right. But that goes back to what you were saying, like how, you know, there was like, you know, you were selling stuff, and you were doing it where like, there was like integrity issues. And it’s like, yeah, you could sell something. Yeah. Maybe you could overcome some objections. Yeah, you maybe get this person to do this thing. But like, in the end, at what cost to you? And who?

Elyse Archer 45:50
Yes, exactly, exactly. Like, what is it actually all about? Yeah.

Brandon Handley 45:55
Well, so how do you I mean, I think that leads into a really good piece. So So how do you do it now where you’ve got it all tied together, that you feel aligned with what you’re doing.

Elyse Archer 46:04
Um, I just really listened to what, what my body says about what whether it’s working with a particular client, whether it’s launching a program, and I don’t fault myself for changing my mind, either, like I launched something new with the rollout of my new brand that was actually it was based on what a shaman who I follow what he does, or just like a $10, weekly, I drop in, he goes a healing temple. And it’s so much I was like, Oh, we should have that for sales, that would be so much fun. So I did like a $10 weekly drop in sales training. And it’s been, it’s been fun, but it’s like the numbers started off really high. And then they kind of dwindled with the number of women who were coming every week. And I used to go into panic about that. And now it’s like, oh, cool, I’m being divinely guided to transform this into something else. So I’m transforming it into something slightly different a monthly membership, and women are signing up for that really fast. So it’s like, just knowing that it doesn’t have to be perfect. But if I take the, I listen to what I’m being told to do, I take the action, I’m not attached to it being that way forever. And then I just kind of keep receiving that guidance. And that’s how I’ve launched my programs. That’s how I choose which clients to work with. That’s how I chose my brand colors. Like all of it, it’s just all the

Brandon Handley 47:21
colors, by the way. Don’t go gold, white, and red, which are which are all pretty cool. Yeah, I like that too. Like you talked about, like, you know, being able to change like kind of like your your and and, you know, in the business world or be ready to pivot, pivot, pivot. But being able to pivot, right, being able to adjust on the fly is something that I think a lot of people have a challenge with, too. How do you help them to overcome that, like, be like, Oh, I made this decision to do this thing. And I was told to commit. And, man, if I, if I just stick with it, persistence, and yada, yada, yada. So how do you help somebody that’s stuck in that space?

Elyse Archer 48:01
Yeah, cash. And it’s tough to write because we hear self discipline and persistence. And there’s a lot of value. There’s a lot of value to those attributes, in a lot of ways, but I think sometimes we get, you know, you hear like sunk cost theory in business. So I’ve put so much time and energy into this. And we can hold on to something just because of that, just because we already invested a lot of money or a lot of time. And even in our core, if we know it’s no longer the right thing. So again, it comes down to intuition. And so if I’m working with the client, we kind of we look at, okay, if you were, if you were starting this today, would you do the same thing? Like if you were starting from scratch? Would you do the same thing? If the answer is yes, then it’s okay. You probably just need to keep going at it for longer. Like it’s just, it’s keep showing up, keep doing it know that just like you said, with the flower when you plant it, it’s gonna take a hot minute sometimes, and that’s okay. But if you’re being honest, and you wouldn’t do it again, the same way today, or you wouldn’t run this program today, or you wouldn’t. I mean, this is a big one, but you wouldn’t marry this person today. Right? Like, then I’m not counseling people and relationships. So take that for what it’s worth, but you kind of look at, okay, are you attached to this just because you’ve put so much time and energy into it? Or are you attached to it, because it’s actually what you’re meant to be doing. And it just needs a little more time to mature or grow or terminate.

Brandon Handley 49:23
I love that. I love being associated. Again, you know, I’m a big fan of the word grace these days. So give yourself a little grace and let you kind of, you know, let that let that life energy just go ahead and propagate the way that it’s supposed to. Right. And I love though, to that you’re saying you know, if you started today, would you still do this? Right? Because again, we we put all this energy into the sunk cost thing even like, well, the Titanic sinks, it’s sunk, right? Like I mean, fucking let it go. Right? They jump off the boat because it is sunk costs, and it hasn’t accelerated you or gotten you to where you think you should be by Now and if you were to, you know, kind of continue that trajectory, it’s down at this point, right? I love it. I love it. So, what, um, you know, let’s what is a, you know, a hit of spiritual dope for you like, you know what, you know, meditation, I mean, having, you know, maybe looking at your son, you know, what is what is something that, um, that’s just your pure hit a spiritual dope.

Elyse Archer 50:24
I mean, it’s totally hanging out with my son jack now like that’s just to see see the pureness of a little kid and to see how they just just their wholeness and their appearances, and his unfiltered laughter is so much fun. I absolutely love that. And then I think the other thing is just when I can show up and give or do something for somebody else that has nothing to do with me. And that’s actually, when I found myself a couple months ago, like going through some of that Panic of like, Oh, my God, am I doing making the wrong decision or the wrong choice? That’s part of how I would shift out of it is I would be like, What can I do for somebody else right now to get my head out of my ass and focus on what really matters. And that always, to me, that always helps. It’s that quick shift. It’s like, What can I do for someone else, whether it’s write a comment on their social media, whether it’s had a client who wants to book club, I was like, I’m gonna join my clients book club right now. And that’s gonna make him feel good when he looks in his inbox and sees that he’s got a new member. So just stuff like that. Right? It’s, it’s always kind of getting our focus off of ourselves.

Brandon Handley 51:31
I love this. I mean, it doesn’t have to be complex, right? You can go out there and kind of give of yourself and support somebody else in small meaningful ways. And you’re gonna feel better about yourself. Hmm,

Elyse Archer 51:42
yeah. Well, and it’s the whole Have you read the diamond cutter?

Unknown Speaker 51:46
No, I have not, oh, this

Unknown Speaker 51:48
will be a good one. I

Unknown Speaker 51:49
think you’ll be into this.

Elyse Archer 51:50
So the principle behind it is whatever you want for yourself, help someone else get it. So I’ve got my, my mastermind partner. She’s also going for seven figures in her business right now. So one of the things that I’ve done and I told her I was like, This is not entirely altruistic that I want to help you do this. Like, I’m really curious energetically how this works for me.

Brandon Handley 52:11
It’s interesting, though, at least, right? Like, when I started fatherhood, for the rest of us, it wasn’t for the pure reasons. Right? It really wasn’t and I can look back and I can say that right? I’m like, you know, I did this for all the wrong reasons. But I was doing the right things, even if it was for the right reasons, for all reasons. Yeah. And that kind of tilted the whatever right into into always say like, I’m like the Grinch my heart grew to sizes too large or whatever, right? Like it went from being like, you know, this thing to write. So I think that you and I think you know, are you know, when you collect new Java Roman back in the day, I remember him going into, you know, talking about that, right being like, what happens if you do the right things with like, the wrong reasons. Now, I would say and wrong reasons is really kind of hard. You can’t really say it’s for the wrong reasons. You’re really trying to do it for the benefit. Yes, of you. And of them, but like, you know, that kind of shakes off. Just Just for I mean, my experience has been that kind of shakes off like initially, it’s kind of like, I’m doing it mostly for me a little bit. You still feel okay, I’m doing it for like, you know, at least I’m not, you know, at least I’m not calling you an asshole, right? Like, you know, merger. Nobody’s a jerk. I’m doing all these things. And eventually, that it’s just kind of like rust away until like, this purity situation happens where like, that’s just becomes who you are. Right? So there’s really nothing wrong with like, trying on different clothes until you find the pair that fits.

Elyse Archer 53:38
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think it’s you always know because it’s the energy or doing something and like, how do you feel while you’re doing it? If you feel secretly like, with this, this friend of mine, who I’m helping, I’m just kinda like consulting and helping her for helping her hit seven figures in her business this year. It’s like, the energy that I feel around it when I do it. If I felt jealousy or if I felt scarcity or like, I should be spending the time on my own stuff. exactly what you’re talking about, right, like doing it for the wrong reasons. But I think it’s it’s, you can tell when you feel like whole excited, fulfilled, relaxed while you’re doing it. It’s really different.

Unknown Speaker 54:13
You are at ease. Yes,

Brandon Handley 54:15
you’re at ease and the things are easy. They’re simple. They’re fulfilling. Yeah, right. All right. Super awesome. As always to catch up with you. Unfortunately, we can’t stay on all day. So where can we send people to go find more Elise Archer,

Elyse Archer 54:33
thank you so much for having me. Elise. archer.com has all the things and then on all social media. I’m at Elise Archer. So with love, love, love to connect. I’ve got a podcast, she sells radio so people can check that out. It’s like sales with a healthy dose of spirituality.

Brandon Handley 54:49
Now, who would you say your ideal client is Elise?

Unknown Speaker 54:53
Hmm.

Elyse Archer 54:55
It’s often a younger me. And I’m not saying that in an egotistical way. It’s just I can really help them. A woman because I know

Unknown Speaker 55:00
what’s going on.

Elyse Archer 55:02
So it’s typically going to be a woman who is either a business owner or she’s in sales, she’s looking to break through her first six figures. And it’s like, something’s not quite clicked there. But she’s ready. And she’s probably a little bit turned off by a lot of what she’s being taught from either corporate sales training or from the book she’s reading and it just doesn’t quite feel right to her and she’s like, could I reach my goals in a way that actually feels really good to me and other people and I love helping that type of woman so that’s my ideal client.

Brandon Handley 55:32
awesome guys. Go

check out Lisa’s especially, you know, if you meet that description, I can promise you that, uh, you know, it’ll work out for you. Right? guarantee that, you know, to go through some of the coaching or some of the programs that Elise has offered, they will be valuable to you.

Unknown Speaker 55:48
Thank you, my friend. Thank you. This has been wonderful.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai