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Dorrie is a holistic lifestyle coach and animal communicator/healer based in Auckland, New Zealand. She has a background in sports, beauty therapy, therapeutic massage, reconnective healing, astrology, NLP, EFT, Reiki, Zen, Tai Chi, Kempo and Qigong. She is certified Ren Xue and Yuan Qigong instructor and a gifted Qi therapist.

Today’s interview is centered around her participation in the documentary “Already Free“.

Brandon Handley 0:41
4321 Hey, there’s spiritual dope. I’m on today with Dorrie Van Roij-Houtappels helped me outdoors. Do you? You got you got Dorrie. Okay. And then. So Dorrie comes Dorrie comes to us by way of a documentary called already free. And this documentary follows both theory. And there’s other gentlemen, Norbert no barito. Who they, they, they came together through like, transformative transformative practice of Qigong. And you know, throughout the decade long a practice of this practice in the wrenches system, Dori was able to come to a place of you can say enlightenment, or this kind of awakening. And this is a practice that you’ve been doing door has been doing for over 10 years now. And it’s currently has her own practice offers one Gong classes, and works one on one as a holistic lifestyle coach. And you know, you’re out there to inspire people talk a little bit earlier, and women in particular are is one of the you know, that’s an area that you’re highly focused in right now. And we’ve been trying to get together now for what three, four months story is exactly. This big thanks for being on the podcast that you’re in New Zealand, it’s 9am there on Sunday. And I appreciate you waking up to do this today.

Dorrie 2:17
Well, I’m very happy to be here, finally. And to really to spend some time together. So I look forward to this as a

Brandon Handley 2:25
thank you. So you just say checked out a podcast or two and some of the stuff that goes on. So you may have heard the question you may not have, I like to start us off with the whole idea that we You and I are vessels for, you know, universal creative energy, and it flows through us and to somebody else, like for great meetings. So the idea is that somebody is going to be listening to this podcast today. And there’s a message that can be delivered only through you only right now and to that person, what would you say that messages or

Dorrie 3:02
that you truly can believe in yourself? And that you, you can find yourself? Because I think that is what we all are doing here on earth? We are really looking for the truth. The true you, isn’t it? Who am I? Who am I really and I think that when you look at that, that you really can find yourself. So just not giving up? I’m looking for the ways what? What is beneficial for you to find yourself. Because if I can do it, then you can do it too, because we all are humans.

Brandon Handley 3:40
with that. I mean, it’s I love I love the message. And you know if you could clarify what you mean, right? What does it mean to find yourself and you know, what did you What have you discovered? about who you are?

Dorrie 3:54
Huh? Yes? That’s a good question. And of course, a very big question. But for me, when you look at my history in my life, it sometimes hasn’t been that easy. And I think we all have our life story. And we all have our challenges to go through life. But what if the biggest challenge would become your biggest treasure in life? And so, what I always ask people is to look deeper and to look in a broader way to life to understand life better. And with that, I mean, it is that we are really feeling and that we think that it is reality at this moment what we are doing but the question is, is it that way? Is that what you think that you are? Is that reality? Or is there maybe a deeper you somebody who is really connected Did with everything I mean, without who is connected with nature, who is truly connected with all the human beings who really feels at home within themselves, and who truly feel what you say in the beginning that creativity, because that is what I, what I have experienced, and also how I’ve been learned all the information that that person is always there. But you are not aware of that person yet. And so that person, why can’t you see that yet? It was because, yeah, we are more running alive with a lot of patterns. And so what are, yeah, I can go deeper. And that may be later I think that too, truly find behind the habitual ways of thinking what you are now doing in your life, to find behind there, your heart, for example, with all the beautiful qualities, which can steer you through life, that has, that can have a great impact on your life, which it also did for me.

Brandon Handley 6:19
Now, that’s definitely a lot of great stuff in there, right? Feeling feel, especially feeling at home with yourself, as you’re mentioning, the idea of the creativity finding this way through, you know, kind of your own internal creative devices. And then the idea that the real you is always there. So let’s talk a little bit about that as as, as we as we kind of go through these different layers and your journey there. And I think that where we want to start off with is a little bit about the documentary, right? And what is the what is the where to go the system, right? The the Qigong system that you went through the the ranchu system, right, and how you got involved with that, why you got involved with it, and kind of where that led to for you.

Dorrie 7:13
is unbelievably cheap. Would you like me to start with? Well,

Brandon Handley 7:16
I mean, so you got involved with the, you know, the ranchu system? What led you there? And what is that?

Dorrie 7:23
Yes, well, as you probably also can hear how I speak English. It’s not my first language. So I’m coming from the Netherlands. And we emigrated I say, we that is my husband and two children, then they were still at the age from what is it four and six. And we emigrated now 13 years ago to New Zealand. And I really got drawn to this country here in New Zealand. Because of just a feeling what I felt I thought all that nature and it is so so you know what, I just got drawn to it. And also for the children one thing for them to grow up in a more natural way as as being in a very busy country from the Netherlands. And so we went to New Zealand and I so I, I already did their healing work, I did more animal healing, and also for people. And I was looking for a way for myself to relax more to find something nice for me to do in my free time. And suddenly, I just found somebody who was actually growing vegetables and the vegetables at that place. They tasted so beautiful. I never had this that’s such a beautiful fetch the boats and I told her, I said, Oh, that is so amazing. Wow, what is that? What kind of secret are you using? And then she said, Yes. Well, when I’m gonna tell you that about it. You’re gonna be surprised. And I thought Oh, really? Yes. She said it is undo when she gone. She said, I said Oh, really? Well, I know what she gone was because I did that a little bit in the Netherlands already. So and she Gong is a form. Well, most of the time when I explain it to people, it is Tai Chi. And most of the people are aware what it is. But actually Tai Chi comes from Shi Gong, it’s a very old form what we use in in China, China. For movements, we use movements, breathing techniques. But there’s it more. You use the hands with it. And yeah, all kinds of things are kind of meditations moving mad at Asian. And so that is what she did there at that moment that apparently she used that also to grow her vegetables with. That was really very interesting, of course for me, so I thought I’d give this a try. Well, that’s how my journey there started. And I must say, although I did healing work, I find myself sometimes not in really the best state. And, and even with doing she gone, I noticed when I do it, that she gone in the beginning that I immediately already felt a lot better. That was also very strange for me that I could feel the results over so quick. And so when I was doing the, the sheet wrong, I still had the feeling that I yeah, how do I say that? That I still? I was in a good state, and then I went home, and then my state dropped again. Yeah, and especially when you have little children? I you must be actually in a good state, isn’t it? Because they, yeah, they

Brandon Handley 11:12
do real quick, if you don’t mind what you what do you mean by not in the best date? Like just

Dorrie 11:17
yeah. So what what is what is actually a normal state, a normal state is when you are relaxed, calm and natural. And so for me, that is that is normal, there is no other state. And that may be seems now for you, then strange. But when you are going to learn about this, then you then you understand that that’s, I think the way you’ve been brought up that you have learned that it is normal to be angry, it’s normal to be very sad, or whatever, because we do have our emotions. And then I now I have learned, yes, of course, we are all human beings. But the question is, do we really have to do that? Maybe we can develop ourselves and grow. So that we learn and that we don’t have to do this anymore? And that we can stay in a normal state what I say in a calm, relaxed and natural way. And that it’s really possible.

Brandon Handley 12:23
It is that where you your your your quote, unquote, normal state was, you know, you would still have anger, was there depression involved as well? Was your normal state is low, would you just say you were kind of in your normal state was low and you you were doing the Qigong. And while you’re doing Qigong, you were able to not feel that way you were able to feel this sense of calm that you’re talking about this normalization of feelings. Whereas as soon as you stopped it, then you would go right back to the not the best state that you were talking about.

Dorrie 13:04
While it is not that that every time is the same, of course, sometime you stay long in that state. Yes, it is that you you notice that when you are doing the Shi Gong, that immediately your whole energy level goes up. And that you can feel very calm and really very relaxed, and you’re in beautiful states. And so that is of course, very nice. But and that I think that is also for other modalities when I look at a yoga. So a lot of mothers Tell me when I do the yoga, it’s very nice, but then I lose my good state again. Well, that is exactly where their Rancho system comes up. So, we are talking about doing she Gong, but that is not all that is not what what makes it that you reach the state that you go to that state. It’s not about reaching, it is about just going there. And so, the rain shoe system, it is really a holistic system. So what do you do there, you learn what your mind is doing the whole day. You learn how to, to find other ways to get yourself back into balance. You learn about nature, because nature is very important to go to that state. We are not so much connected anymore with nature in this ever fast going world. So learning about nature, about the rules from nature, I think that’s also important. And then so you learn about your heart. You learn what it is to have an open heart And so the founder from the system, that’s young say. And so the, the, he talks about having the five heart qualities. And here we are talking about openness, trust, openness, love, gratitude, and utmost respect and gorging. And so you learn about these qualities. So and so there are nine methods in this holistic system, which is really a lot. So you have the the moving meditations, you have stillness. So you do still practice where you stand still, where you learn to focus, where you learn to be quiet. And then so learning about your mind with this presence, learning with the heart, learning to, to be in the present moment. And so that is all coming together. And you know, one person needs more this one person needs more depth. But I’ve never seen an holistic system, but it’s so broad, what brings it all together to reach higher realization, wisdom and growth.

Unknown Speaker 16:19
And

Brandon Handley 16:22
so you’ve got your five heart qualities, you’ve got your methodology, where Now where was the system developed? Or are you able to share that?

Dorrie 16:30
Yes, so the Shi Gong, the first basic information, what Yonsei has, it comes all from China. And it has its its roots from traditional wisdom. And you can think about that wisdom, kung fu wisdom, the Buddhism, the martial arts, yeah. And so there is all that that foundation, but when Yonsei came to New Zealand, so he emigrated from China, to New Zealand, he figured out by traveling also, through all the places also in America and Europe, that people need that they’re a different system, and that he really wanted to, to put all the tools in there, what we, as Western people really can good can understand. And so that is when he developed here, the young Gong system here in New Zealand, with these nine methods.

Brandon Handley 17:30
Okay. And so I got, you know, my guesses then, like, these are, you know, sounds corny to say ancient Chinese wisdoms, right, but like, these ancient Chinese wisdoms that he has put into place, in a holistic system, right. So it’s not just a Chee Gong, there’s other pieces and involved in it, and he’s put it all together to have a complete system

Dorrie 17:54
is, and that is also what you really will feel if you’re going to practice it, because I have really done quite some other practices in my life before that, I started this, but I, you know, you every time have questions about life, and so I did one thing and then I had questions, and then I went to the other system, and then I again, other questions came up, and I hoped like that, but when I finally found this system, I really got all the answers that I have in life. And that was so unique. And so, every aspect of life we are talking about. So that is also where you can say teach us about it can be death, it can be about, for example, the COVID. Now, it can be your physical health, it can be anything. And so having there abroad or look with somebody who has reached such a high level of wisdom, it’s really interesting to Yeah, for your own growth in life.

Brandon Handley 19:01
Were you able to work with him in person?

Dorrie 19:05
Yes, awesome. Yeah, no,

Brandon Handley 19:07
I think that’s, you know, that’s highly beneficial. Right. So there’s lots of systems online, that you have access to in terms of with a lot of like, even yoga practices or other meditation practices. But the idea of having that person in person with you, and not just online, I think that makes a very big difference.

Dorrie 19:29
Um, well, I agree. I did that also, in the one I’ve stated before the COVID. I felt that and so we all went to retreat from him. And so before the, for example, the teacher training that was every year, two weeks, that we all gathered together, and then in the meantime, we could see until but through the COVID we have learned that it actually isn’t the problem because if feeders are live streaming the information, what comes from there, through the whole community, what is built very strongly will receive them also this information. And I think that you, you can make shifts very easily being together, what we call the key and the key field, if that makes sense. I

Brandon Handley 20:23
think I think that, uh, there’s, there’s a, there’s that element of trust, and everybody kind of focused at the same time on the same thing, and together, you know, to create or be immersed in that field together. So I think that that that certainly makes sense to me. You’ve mentioned that some of some of your biggest questions were answered, right? What was like, what’s an example of one or two of the big questions that were answered? Some question is, it’s very important that your vegetables taste differently to.

Dorrie 21:00
Yes, so I learned to grow my vegetables in the way that that lady did. And yes, you can really taste it. And it is with anything that you do in life when you learn to put a chip in it, so that is the energy and it and the mind into it, then your whole meal, what you’re cooking for the day can taste completely different and, and that are so many other things that you asked me my questions about life, it certainly had to do about death. That I felt that because I’ve always been very intrigued in in that are always in my life from a very young age. And so I got there the confirmation that, that it was the way I was feeling about death. And, and now I truly also can feel that after I’ve made this last bigger step, I don’t know how to explain it differently, I must say.

Brandon Handley 22:04
Would you say that that the it’s a shift, right? Would you say that the place that you’re at now is just simply a shift from where you were before? Not necessarily different, but different, right? I mean, it’s it’s really hard to kind of put in the terms. I was the Buddhist line or Buddhism line I don’t know if it’s true or not, but you know, before enlightenment, chop wood carry water after enlightenment, chop wood carry water. Right. So but there’s wood you there’s just a different quality to life, which is

Dorrie 22:43
Yes, it is. So yeah, on the one hand, we can say there is nothing special. But on the other hand, yes, it truly is special and why is it special? Because I’m everyday in a good state. And every moment of the day in a good state. Well, that was not something what I could say that I was what you mentioned, of depression, not feeling sometimes really deeply alone in life. And now feeling the feeling that I always feel in a good and an uplifted state and I’m very content and harmonious inside myself. I think that is on the one hand truly a miracle. And to and but on the other hand, yes I am just me so there is nothing special.

Brandon Handley 23:36
Dori how long what you know how long did it take you to a recognize that that space was available for you? And then the How long did it take you to maintain that state of being?

Dorrie 23:53
Well, to maintain I still I still am the same. So it is still my state like that since that it happened. So not nothing has changed. Only my life has more depth now though

Brandon Handley 24:07
when So when did you have that realization for yourself? Like how long a doctor practicing that she gone?

Dorrie 24:16
Yes, well, when I give this answer now to you, then people are going to compare themselves with me. We are going to do this and that is actually not what I would like to do. Because you know when I learned that I when I started to do she gone, the system was not yet there. And so the system now is is fully there with all the nine methods. And so people who are now starting they go faster through it. So I did first the senang she gone and when people are doing she gone than they know what I’m talking about. And then I started to do this system that in total, I’m learning from Yancey for now for 12 years. So better the last four years have been really intense for me

Brandon Handley 25:13
just in terms of that quality of life that you’re talking about the transition and change where you that have entered your life,

Dorrie 25:21
or years, but right from the beginning. And so when I would say the first seven years, I made my make huge shifts in growth in my life. And I can also see that in all from all the teachers who are went through this course, we all really have changed completely I can see everybody has had so much growth in their life.

Brandon Handley 25:46
No, and that I love that. I think that’s great. And I think that it’s fair and I understand your reluctance to, you know, state how long your journey has been, simply due to the fact that everybody’s journey is their own right. I mean, somebody somebody could get to a certain spate in the blink of an eye, and somebody, it may take 40 years. And and so with any with any practice, the practice is to become more yourself, as you were talking about in the beginning, right, finding out who you are, and being comfortable with who you are, and understanding who you are, versus if so, yeah, versus becoming or attaining this thing within a specified period of time.

Dorrie 26:39
Yeah, that’s just what you’re saying. You never know, of course. What makes it that you are able to make that step has to do with your previous life? Yes, I think so. But on the other hand, I can see so much growth from the people who are who have done this, the system, that is really remarkable. And so, at the moment when I have this big step, and before me, also, there’ll be for me, Norberto Rodriguez had the same, which is remarkable, isn’t it that two people in the same system, go to that step, and other people are following. So because we are human, so we can we can do that, too. And so I think really, when you when you are in that, yeah, in that flow, and also when you when you receive that theoretic information, I think that a lot is possible that when you already then yeah, you get that push to do it. Right?

Brandon Handley 27:47
How would you say this work has impacted your family life?

Dorrie 27:54
Yes, very beautiful question. It has changed to the life of, of our family members, for all of us. It all has a lot of impact. And so now our children are at the age of 20, and 18. And so they are really in the face of gaining a lot of information from learning, you know, learning in at university, but then he didn’t have changed a lot. Yes, they are so much connected with themselves. And hear well, there is peace and harmony in home. And which i think it’s it’s a very beautiful thing. And that is the same for my husband. So he has been on this journey with me. And so it’s not that he is really doing the course here. But he learns from just me talking about life, of course, and when you are open to that you can grow to. And so we can say that we have made a big change that we all are and we all are every time taking new steps. It’s amazing to see your children grow in this way.

Brandon Handley 29:19
I think that it’s interesting that you bring up to the idea that your husband while he’s not in the course with you, he is learning through kind of what you’re doing. He’s opened himself. One of the questions that I see a lot of people ask is, you know, you’re growing dories growing at Dorries rate, and you’re growing in like, you know, by by this practice, and maybe he’s not growing as fast as you or a perceived, you know, so how do you answer that question? You know, what if my spouse or significant other isn’t growing at the same rate or the same way I am, what are your thoughts, sir? Well

Dorrie 30:00
I have learned to look inside myself to answer that question. And I think it is also that you can find there your solution to that, because it makes me even more eager to grow more in my life. Because I think when you reach a high level of realization, then you can feel compassion for the other, you can understand the other, you can see the patterns, the struggle where another person goes through in life. And so then you also can, can react in a different way to that person. So, for example, when, when the person next to you becomes angry, you can be upset from that. But that then actually means that maybe you need to work a little bit more on yourself. Because why should I become angry when another person is angry? Maybe I can find different tools to let that person understand life better. And worse, also, what I have done,

Brandon Handley 31:14
right, so sounds sounds. Yeah, so sounds like sounds like, you know, if it seems like that growth or activity isn’t spiritually aligned with who you are outside of you, you still need to look inside of yourself, right? If it’s coming from outside, you know, that anger somebody else is angry, or, or maybe somebody else is in growing it, quote, unquote, the rate that, you know, they, quote, unquote, should be, right, the truth of the matter is that it’s still you that needs to grow and needs to find and or create that space to allow for for just long, and again, it’s all you Is that what you’re saying, Yeah,

Dorrie 31:58
yes, every second of the day, you need to have awareness about yourself. So when that will disturb you, when that other person would have that emotion, then it means that you need to come and action and do something about it, to get yourself back to that good state, because something is going on there. Because if you are in a very good state, if you are in that feeling of high realization, you don’t need to be bothered by anything. Nothing needs to be happening. There you are, everything is already okay. The way it is, isn’t that.

Brandon Handley 32:35
Right? Absolutely. We just have a real tough problem. Like, it’s a challenge if you haven’t done some of this work already. To see that. Right. You know, back to your earlier point, you know, the real you is always there, this person that you’re talking about that that you are that this realize being right and and always having this, this this potential state that always exists, right? This potential you that always exists, it’s just your ability desire to cultivate it, and sit with it. Is that what you’re saying?

Dorrie 33:20
Yeah, so that that person who you really are. So I tried to explain it, that person who you really are, is highly connected. Yeah, it’s, it’s connected with your spirit, your soul. So we call it in the red shoe with this, your shin. And so that is also what you take with you, when you when you die, that’s what you always will take with you. And that’s part is highly connected with your heart. So, when you were born, you were connected with that part. Yet you you felt all your heart qualities on what I was talking about in the beginning, I trust, openness, love, gratitude, and that through respect, but one when you’re going through life, and that is already in a very early stage. You you get experiences in your life, isn’t it? It’s normal, of course. And so, bit by bit the pure information how you were born becomes vague, we can see. And so you you there get patterns. Now, what are patterns? What are patterns in our life? Well, it is information, what is received, processed and used in the same way. Repeat repeatedly. So let me explain it to you. With let’s let’s explain that just with with driving a car when I’m Driving a car, you know, can you remember how you in the beginning had to learn to drive the car? You were looking with? With what food do I need to, to bring to use the brake. And then when something what came on the road, you really had to start thinking about that I Oh, wait, I need to do this. And then I need to put my right foot on the brake. And then it happens that my car will stop here. After a while. Yeah, you don’t know better. And suddenly a duck comes on the road, and you just you would use your brake, you just do that it becomes automatically Yes, right. And that is actually the same what happens in your life with many, many things. It can be on a habitual way. For example, using now the COVID, we couldn’t go outside and you come back, you are at home and you want to go for your dinner and you have your dinner ready. And you think I’m going to sit for in front of the TV, and you sit there and you eat your meal. And the next day you think attipas actually quite nice. It was cozy there. I do that again. But before that, you know, you sit every day in front of the TV, eating your dinner. Yeah. And that is the same things within life. But then on a different way on in the with the consciousness. So maybe you’re saying now something to me, like Dorrie. Whereby let’s let’s Ms. Now think I must have come up with an example. Though, let’s do a talk here. And I immediately feel that I can’t do that. And so why actually Shouldn’t I do that? Because it’s something what is naturalism there to do with talk? But no, it reminds me of when I went to primary school, and I had to do a speech there. And that was actually really very scary for me. So now I can’t be natural anymore in that. And I just say, No, I don’t, I don’t have time for that. But actually, what really is there is a lot of fear. And that is a pattern, what is underneath there under the skin, what is going on. And so there are a lot of presence in your life, really a web of patterns. And it can be like that you want to hide for yourself, it can be like that you feeling greed, actually, which is a normal thing. But still, that you feel great. It can be that you are suspicious in life, that are a lot of patterns. While and this is what we learn that when you have awareness in your life in when something happens in your daily life, that you detect what kind of things that are playing, and that you can do something about that, that you can change it. You never can say all now I’m not doing it anymore. That’s not possible. It’s that it is

it is in the brain a shortcut to do things. So we have to do it that way. But we want to have good patterns in life, the healthy beneficial profits, and not the patterns will give us this Yeah, not free and natural life. So when we work on that, when we really work on these patents, then suddenly there comes space in your life that cause more calmness in your life. And so when you then work on these heart qualities, you can suddenly go deeper feeling yourself, which is really very interesting. I would say that

Brandon Handley 39:08
that’s something that the feeling ourselves. And the snap natural state is something that in western civilization, that we’re kind of trained out of. Right, and kind of what you’re talking about is these patterns that we develop. We refer to it oftentimes as our programming, right? our default programming is like, Hey, you know, I’m, I’m going to do this thing because of that result that I had that one time or vice versa, like you’re saying, right? Like, it’s really scary up in front of class, second grade, and I don’t want to have to feel that feeling again. So whatever I can do to avoid that feeling. I’m going to keep doing and what you’ve learned through your practices is to kind of go through see that within yourself and learn how to feel through it. around it and get yourself into a place of this free and natural and what and my guess is that when you’re staying free and natural is to express yourself without that fear to be yourself without that. inhibition, and and fear, right? So you’re liberate yourself from from something like that Is that Is that about right?

Dorrie 40:23
And that is being at home.

Brandon Handley 40:25
Yeah, that’s beautiful. I love it. So you’re doing this practice, now you’ve got, you’ve got your own practice. But you also mentioned that you’ve got an A Women’s International charity that you’re working on or practice that you’re working on, you want to share a little bit about what that is, and oh, yes, thank you,

Dorrie 40:44
Toby, on 2022, we are going to start with a foundational program. And yes, it is a charitable trust for women and the name is so she is now. And yeah, it’s really beautiful. So the information comes totally from the rain shoe system. But that is that we are really focusing on the female females in the world of female energy in the world. Because I think that that is important. Now, that is that is how I felt it that it is important that the women really can find themselves here. I think they this we can see that also in the leadership in the world, the women really aren’t doing very well isn’t

Brandon Handley 41:33
wasn’t New Zealand that had like a really great Prime Minister. I don’t know what the is the prime minister, she did some really great you know, you New Zealand went through this with female labour COVID with female leadership, and that was highly regarded.

Dorrie 41:51
Yes, very beautiful from jacinda. Arden. And but that is not that is not all that I see in the world, what I can see is that the women, they have the connection, they really have a beautiful connection to spread a message in the world, through their own families. And by being becoming mothers, for example, and to share this with our own family members, because that will beneficial also very much are a man in the world. And I think that we need some more of these feminine qualities to to reach more peace and harmony in the world.

Brandon Handley 42:36
When you say feminine qualities. What do you What are you saying?

Dorrie 42:41
The the qualities, to use your heart the qualities to connect with each other. I think that women are very good in Connect making connections with each other. And to feel that the heart qualities can can bring. Yeah, profound change in the world. But as I said, we need to first dive into learning how your mind works and to Yeah, to to make that change

Brandon Handley 43:14
for ourselves. Right, I forget the term. It’s a Buddhist term that talks about the heart mind connection, it sounds like that’s what you’re trying to do. Right, you’re taking you know, whereas I would say that the two differences, probably my own observation would be the two different primary differences between male and females that females lead with their heart, right that the innate connection, and then men tried more to lead with their head, you know, I’m not saying that women don’t but just as a as a, you know, which one takes over most time, like men try to lead with like more logic and, and, you know, these these lines versus with their heart, right? So by combining your head and your heart, you’re able to really, you’ve got there’s a whole different thing happening there. And Buddhism has a term for it, I forget what it is off top my head. But that sounds to me a little bit what you’re doing, you’re saying Alright, listen, with your with your feminine qualities which are already innate with you, let’s, let’s bring that to connect with your mind. So that you know we can really express and, you know, take your place, you know in life, right. Let’s go ahead and lead from that space.

Dorrie 44:31
Yes, absolutely. And yet, you can see when when I look at the evolution from the women, of course we have changed a lot. But we had to receive our rights as women and but the question is if that went No, it went of course the way it had to grow. But now it is time to come back home more to your authentic A women qualities, because we have been always like, well, it’s more like fighting against the man that you also go there, you know, like the like, feeling these same qualities that i think it’s it’s not, it’s not what we really want to do we want to just to come home in our own qualities, and that can bring change for our men also in the society.

Brandon Handley 45:25
Oh, yeah, I mean, I think it’s funny, like I’m feeling the vision more than I’m seeing it right now what you’re saying, and I understand. Definitely, I think a challenge two to present it. But I feel I can feel where you’re going with it. And, you know, I think that’s I think that’s fantastic. And I think that there’s the time is certainly now. Right. for for for that. And I think that, um, I think the space is open for it, right that what you’re doing the work that you’re doing. And I think that it’s definitely, definitely necessary. Right? And it’s not it’s not i think is it’s not this combative nature and space and place that women need to be in, they need to be in their own right space. And you know, and it’s it’s difficult to put, I think, into words, but I understand, I think, where you’re headed with it. And so I’m definitely looking forward to seeing how that goes for you. And I think that that’s a great work that you’re doing and putting out there.

Dorrie 46:32
Now, thank you. That’s very, very lovely. Yeah. And I can understand that, that you that it’s not at this moment for people is that you think, yeah, how is she going to do that. But it is going to be in a very practical way. Because I understand very well that most of the women don’t have so much time during the day, actually. And, but you can see that what I have done now, I also have two children and a job and I still am able to do this and to reach the state. So then when I can do that, and everybody in the world can do that, isn’t it. And so I thought about this, and I thought, we really need to do this in a practical way that you get the core information and to use it in your daily life. You need to use it in the heat of the moment, you know, when something is happening, then you must be able to have tools to grow and to come back home and yourself. And so yeah, I hope that I can surprise you. Yeah, listen, next. Yeah, I

Brandon Handley 47:41
think I think that, um, you know, I think it’s, it’s the intent to do it, how it has to happen. It’s still unfolding for you as my guests, right? It’s still unfolding, and it’s still presenting itself, but it’s in motion. And, and you’re a part of it, right? You’re, then that’s that’s really, I think all you can say, right, as it develops and as you present it. So, Dorrie, is there anything else that you would want to cover or share with the listeners of this program today?

Dorrie 48:13
Um, well, maybe if I if they haven’t seen for sure, they can have a look at the website there. And then they that will lead them to the place where they can have a look at the documentary because especially also when you have physical problems, physical problems, mental problems, quite questions about life, I think it’s really worth it that you will have a look at that documentary. And when you are looking that you are just feeling inside yourself, actually, what am I feeling now that I am receiving this information? And that’s it, this it tickle myself? Do I feel there something? Because I think that is a call from your heart. Right? Right. So if you do,

Brandon Handley 49:05
yeah, I mean, and the movie The documentary is is already free. And, you know, I can share out the link from that, so that people can go check that out. Basically, you know, they follow Dorrie, Norberto and they share the story of the red shoe system, and just kind of the changes that came into both Dorrie and Roberta’s life. And you know, as Dora keeps saying is like, hey, if I can do it, you can do it too. It just takes it just takes and it’s a practice, right or

Dorrie 49:38
Yes. And yeah, what I say when I can do with em, you can do with too, but I really would like to tell to the listeners. When you would have found something that is so profound. How would you spread that in the world? Tell me It is not so easy, of course, because the world is very big. But I really would like to give it to all of you. And that is also my, my goal now in my life to really to tell it to others, that there really is a lot possible when you really want Would you like to develop yourself

Brandon Handley 50:20
now apps? Absolutely, I think that there’s, there’s a place that you can get to and a space that you can get to that. I can’t say that I’m in a consistent state that door is talking about, but I have had this experience of being in that place. And you know, that then the desire comes through. Alright, well, how do I keep myself in that space? Right. And and that’s, that’s, that’s the challenge, especially with our busy lives, and all these other things going on these default programs that Laurie was talking about, and all the other ways that we’ve always been like, well, who do we really want to be? And I think Dorrie, that’s, that’s the story that you’re sharing. So I’ve got a couple of questions for you. I kind of liken this podcast a little bit to a speed dating, right? Like somebody is going to come on my spiritual speed dating, somebody is going to come on listen to this podcast, it’s in search of like, their next spiritual connection, right? The next, you know, somebody they want to date for a little bit in the spirituality space, right? Because there’s so much out there, right. And it’s a little tongue in cheek, it’s a little kind of entertainment, but like, so I just have, like, one. Um, one quick question for you would be, what is our greatest distraction.

Dorrie 51:41
Our greatest distraction is our mind. And we need to catch ourselves when we are operating from the construct that says self identity. Our greatest destruction is really our mind, and we are not aware of it. We are not aware of where we are. And that is, when we have figured that out, then we can come home to ourselves.

Brandon Handley 52:08
You would say that’s kind of the beginning, then to understand that we are you know, we’re not our minds, and that our minds is the biggest distraction and starting to pay pay a lot of attention there.

Dorrie 52:19
Yes, so but you need to learn that, of course, if you don’t know, we, you need to pay attention to them. Nothing happens. So somebody needs to tell you what to do. How to do that?

Brandon Handley 52:30
For sure. Yeah, absolutely. So I mean, one of the other things is I do a martial art, you know, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. And I always bring it up too, right? Like, I could be doing, I could I could do jujitsu my entire life without instruction, and I would never get it. Right. Right. I may, I may get a couple things, right. But by taking the lessons and having somebody that knows how to do it, and training me to do it, I’ll then become aware of what I need to do in the right situations at the right time. So that, you know, I can find this calm and space in place versus doing it in a frantic worried, always concerned kind of manner. I have these techniques, these tools that you’re talking about with this system that you can put into place. Right so that um, yeah, yeah, yes. Very. Yeah. So Dorrie, thanks again, so much for being on today. I hope you enjoy the rest of your Sunday morning. And you know, so somebody, you know, again, outside of already free if somebody wants to come check out what Dorrie is up to, where could they go to find out more about you and your organization that you have planned? coming for? 2022?

Dorrie 53:39
Yes, so well, the organization from rain shoe, it is the rain shoe international.org. But rain shoe, you spell that r e n and then x UE it’s a little bit tricky. It’s a little bit tricky sometimes for people. Well, and for 2022. The we don’t have already our professional website up but we do have the the website up for donation for the charity. And you can have a look there at She is now.net. There you can find our information.

Brandon Handley 54:18
Thank you, Dorrie. And are you taking clients now yourself as a coach?

Dorrie 54:24
Well, because you mentioned that in the beginning, at this moment, we are just producing all the content for Yeah, for the launch from a she is now but after that, I probably will do that again, my, my personal coaching because I do that

Brandon Handley 54:42
for people all over the world. So that’s on hold a little bit right now until you’ve got this other piece as well. Fantastic Dorie, I know that I know that that’s going to be very successful for you. I can you know, I’ve got a great feeling for it. Myself, and when you describe it, it just feels feels very Yeah, absolutely. It feels very good. clear for you. Right and that that path is is is open for you. So thanks again for being on today.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Christian de la Huerta

Award-winning author Christian de la Huerta is an acclaimed speaker at various settings, including universities, conferences, corporate training, spiritual communities and the TedX stage. Audiences find Christian’s message particularly relevant in these times. Christian also practices as a spiritual coach and a leadership development consultant whose work ranges from individuals and couples in private practice to major corporations and non-profit groups.

Check out his latest book here: Awakening the Soul of Power

And connect with him on his website here: https://www.soulfulpower.com/

Text below is machine-generated and unedited.

Brandon Handley 0:41
Either spiritual dope I’m on today with Christian de la Huerta we are on here today and Christian is a sought after spiritual teacher, personal transformation coach and leading voice in the breathwork community. He’s traveled the world offering inspiring and transformational retreats combining psychological and spiritual teachings with life lasting and life changing effects. In award winning critically acclaimed author he has spoken at numerous universities and conferences on the TEDx stage. his new book awakening in the solar power was described by multi Grammy Award winner glorious Stefan as a balm for the soul of it for anyone searching for the truth and answers to life difficult questions. First of all, thanks for being on today.

Christian de la Huerta 1:24
Hey, Brandon, thanks so much for having me. I’m really looking forward to this conversation.

Brandon Handley 1:30
Fantastic. So I’d like to start this off with the whole idea that and I think you mentioned it in one of your lines, like we are conduits for the universe, universe’s energy to come through. And the idea is that you and I are going to have this conversation that you and I have, but there’s going to be somebody listening, that’s only going to pick up on like this message being delivered through the universe through you to them today. What is that was that message?

Christian de la Huerta 1:58
Well, before I get into that, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate your sense of spiritual irreverence, I very much appreciate it, and it cracked me up some of your comments on your website, you know, I think if we were gonna wrap up the message into to the into one, short description is like, there is a way that we can step into our power into our personal power in a way that is a match for who we are. Because most of us, I think are conflicted about that we have an ambivalent relationship to power, we want it, but we’re afraid of it. And I think at the core, we’re afraid that if we really stepped into all of our power, all of our potential that other people would be threatened by us or be afraid of us. Or, you know, we would end up alone. And we’ve also been conditioned to believe that power is a bad thing, you know, like with quotes, like power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. And so what good hearted person wants to be corrupted or wants to abuse power, which is what we see out in the world all the time. So add to that mix. And by the way, what they forgot to tell us about that power, corrupts quote is that Lord Acton was speaking specifically about political power, not the personal power that we’re talking about. But when you combine all of that with the fact that we have been conditioned to be afraid of the emotion, somebody along the way, had this bright, brilliant idea that the emotions were weakness, and especially for us as men, we were conditioned, you know, a little boys don’t cry, and you know, like, Man up and, and all these other kind of twisted definitions of what it means to be a man and what it means what it means to be a woman. So when you put all that into a mix, we hate confrontation, we hate conflict. And what happens is we end up giving our power away our innate power that nobody can give to us, nobody can take away, we are the only ones who can give it away. And what’s sad, what is sadness to me is that we give it away for really lame reasons, like we give it away and we settle for less, we place more, we hide our light under a bushel, we say yes, when inside we feel no. And for this, for reasons like an illusion of security, or false sense of acceptance, or morsels of pseudo love. And and so that’s the message you know that there is there is a way that we can step into power that that is a match for who we are and that it doesn’t require for us to push anybody down, to step on them, to abuse them, to take advantage of them to manipulate them to use force or fear that there is a way that we can express our power. That isn’t a natural expression of who we are.

Brandon Handley 4:49
So I think that it’s funny actually copied that Marianne Williamson line out again last night while I was reading your book, you know, the it’s not that we’re afraid of You know how small views we’re afraid of how great our power actually is. And I think that that’s kind of you’re talking to one here, and then that we give it away so easily have like these kind of wrong reasons. What, you know, what was it for you along your journey that awakens your personal solar power that, you know, we’re talking about, you know, your book as well? What was it that that, that awoken that woke up your soul, you know, and gave you kind of pretty notice to it?

Christian de la Huerta 5:34
Well, I think my, my initial wake up point was breathwork, some 30 years ago. And I’d had some experiences with, you know, with mind expanding substances that also kind of, you know, had a phase of experimentation when I was writing written when I was in college. And that began a process of questioning reality, the worldview, I was raised in a very Catholic environment. So that began that combined with a class and existentialism began a process of questioning. I think it was, when I, when I did first did breathwork. It just changed everything. I was on a track to get a PhD in psychology. My dad was a psychiatrist. So I come out of that tradition. When I did breathwork, for the first time I jumped tracks, I never went for the PhD. And I’ve been, I knew after one session that I that I’d never be the same, and I wasn’t my, my life took a different direction I, within six months, I quit my last corporate job.

Brandon Handley 6:44
That’s awesome. I think that breathwork for me, has been very revelatory as well.

Unknown Speaker 6:54
I had my

Brandon Handley 6:56
several instances of brain expansive substances. That’s, I think that’s how you title it. And but the deal is, is that and that’s a real big, the name of the podcast, spiritual hope you can get to that space in a place of this this hit of spirituality by doing like something like breathwork. Right. So what did you do then? I mean, so you’re like, I’m out on the corporate gig. And what did you have done after that? I’m just curious. Yeah.

Christian de la Huerta 7:26
Well, you know, if I ended up doing an ashram experience with a teacher that I met with who, you know, from whom I learned breathwork, originally, so I studied with her for five years. And for the most part, monastics setting, had a few deviations from that, but could really count them on one hand in five years, which, by the way, was a really empowering experience for me to begin to reel in my mice, my sexual energies on the way that I related to two other people with you with that sexual energy. And yeah, that was incredibly difficult time of my life, it was, it was very demanding. Not only the lifestyle, but the, you know, the opportunities for letting go of my preferences in my my desires, and, like, I wouldn’t want to do it again. But I’m really grateful that I did, because I wouldn’t be who I am. If it wasn’t for that experience.

Brandon Handley 8:33
I get it. You know, letting go and spend a lot of space but what would you say though, was like the the most difficult part, right? Because you’re kind of in there, and you’re doing it on your own? you’re wanting this right. What what made that?

Christian de la Huerta 8:49
I guess, very good, very good interview questions. Brandon. You know, if you would have asked me before, I would have thought it would have been the celibacy celibacy thing.

Brandon Handley 9:00
That wasn’t right,

Christian de la Huerta 9:02
wasn’t even close to the, to the hardest thing. In fact, that wasn’t such existential kind of level of survival. Because this teacher was brilliant, and she was a ruthless ego Slayer. So I think what was most difficult was being in in because we were at the same time going through some challenging times out of out on the physical world. And it’s a longer story that we don’t have time to get into here, but like it was to maximize it. At one point, we were homeless. We lived in the car for four for a week, and in San Francisco, and we would take showers and the YMCA in the morning for four bucks. And at the same time that she was going through some profoundly transformational experience, which didn’t make her very functional in this room. Um, so, you know, put all that, you know, the fact that she was my ego was being incredibly threatened that I was in survival level, like so much of my identity, up until this time had been connected to my worldly success. And suddenly here I am, you know, like barely living in a car for a week. And, and feeling so responsible for everything and at the same time, like surrendering and in the teacher in the guru, the guru disciple model, you’re surrendering to the sacred, but through this person of, of the guru that’s right in front of you. Who was at times irrational? And so that’s the part that I was so that I didn’t know that, to me was most difficult. That was because you’re basically surrendering your desires, your preferences, like even your perceptions?

Brandon Handley 10:55
Yeah. It’s a whole psychological play, right? I mean, here you are working with, right? And then you’re, you’re you’re working with this, this guru, and to attain, you know, a certain level, a certain experience, I don’t know. But then they’re a mess. And you’re like, what the hell am I doing? I mean, that’s got to be, that’s where my head would be. And then also, you’ve got your cycle, your psychology background, right. So you’re, you’re like, doubling down, because you know, where the razor cuts?

Christian de la Huerta 11:26
Yeah, and I mean, I’m, with all the respect of not putting her down, like, like, I really value she, I got incredible teachings from her. And the opportunity for for surrender was mine, like that was, I did that nobody could do that for me. And that’s some, that’s the most profound experience that I got from that, in addition to learning trust. at a cellular level, it was like I my relationship with with life became incredibly trusting. Because no matter how bad things got, like, we’re down to just like, the storage unit is in Hawaii and San Francisco and Los Angeles. And like, there was nothing else to pawn and money would show up unexpectedly from from just an unexpected source just at the right time. We never missed a meal. Like, yeah, it was rough. It was very rough. But we never missed a meal. So that I got to learn that at a cellular level. It’s not something that I could read in a book, to know that I’m going to be fine. But I’m going to be taking care of

Brandon Handley 12:28
the idea of Providence. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. I love it. I love it. So in your, in your book, you know, covers quite quite quite a bit. And one of the things that you cover in there that I think, is really important, especially in today’s day and age, and the spiritual guy to write as a spirit as a spiritual guy, but like, what, what was a healthy masculine power look like? actually kind of identify what power is like in your what is power? And then what’s the healthy masculine power? Yeah, no,

Christian de la Huerta 13:04
that’s that’s a great question. You’re asking some really good questions, some of which nobody has asked me before. I’ve done dozens and dozens of interviews or podcasts. Nobody has asked me this stuff yet. This one? Yeah. But you’re asking really good ones. So yeah, so in order to reconcile the way that we reconcile this this ambivalent, or, or conflicted relationship we have with power, one of the ways around that is to realize that we’re talking about different kinds, right. So there’s the what there’s a worldly power, or egoic, power, ego power, which we tend to associate, you know, the way the way the world looks at power, we tend to associate with people who have money, who have fame, who are high up in some kind of hierarchy, whether it’s a corporate ladder, or some kind of religious organization, or whatever it is. But the thing about all those kinds of expressions of power is that they’re because they’re outside of us. They’re here today, they’re gone tomorrow. Whereas the other kind of power that I’m pointing to, is internal. It’s, you know, I’m calling it soulful power. It’s spiritual power. I call it what you wish, right? It doesn’t matter what we call it, but it’s the it’s the power that is inherent to each one of us. And again, like no one can give it to us, no one can can take it away. And whereas worldly power is always has an agenda, and it’s very self serving, it’s always trying to get something for itself. The other kind of power, spiritual power, what to me is authentic power. It’s humble. It’s, it’s, it doesn’t need to prove anything to anybody, and it’s about service is about making a difference. So I think about a Gandhi or Gandalf, in their monastic robes and their stupid sandals, as you would say. And then the other sandal feet, you would never know you know, like you would never know how much power they hold until it’s called for and then you know what’s out like brought the British Empire to its knees at the point when it was at its highest, highest point in terms of global reach and global influence without landing a single punch or shooting a gun, like talk about power. And so that’s, that’s what I mean by soulful powers. That’s the kind of power that that from within that it’s, like, the worldly power believes that the it comes from a place that that that it’s a zero sum game, right so that there’s a limited amount you’re having power threatens mine. Whereas, whereas What I’m saying is like, wait a minute, if I’m in my power, if I know who I am, like, why would I be threatened by you having powers like I’m not threatened by that? It’s like, I know, no matter what you or anybody else does, I know that I’ve got it, I can handle it. I can show up and respond appropriately to whatever that situation is. So why would I be threatened by anybody having power, I can celebrate somebody else’s power. And so now power with rather than power over, which has been the traditional, patriarchal, masculine, like toxic masculine way of expressing power, which our relationship to which you know, reflects in our relationship to the planet and our relationship to life, which is basically you fuck it or you kill it?

Brandon Handley 16:22
Right? I mean, that was a game they cut. Right? Right was it was a fucking kill it keep it whatever is true. You know, then that’s, that’s the I think the historic chase right? There kill it. So what is what is the healthy masculine power look like then? Yeah, and real quick question. Are we in your sub question is, are we on pace to like, get there in our lifetime?

Christian de la Huerta 16:51
Yeah, that’s a good question that that I don’t have an answer to I see a lot of changes, though. I see a lot of a lot of men who are just not No, not threatened, you know, a lot. And you know, a lot of straight guys who tell each other, you know, I love you and kiss each other on the cheek, and there’s, they’re not threatened. By that it like it doesn’t mean anything, to once masculinity. So so there’s a book, you know, it’s for everybody. But it has a particular message for women, stemming from my belief that the empowerment of women is like, the single most important thing that needs to happen in the world. It’s not to idealize women is not to put women up on a pedestal is not to give women more shit that they got to clean up and do. It’s because as a planet as a species, we’ve been running very off balance when it comes to power and gender, and sacred masculine and feminine energies. So and I believe that when women are in 50%, of power in this world, because I don’t believe that we need to go back to matriarchy, I don’t think that’s what we need, I think we need balance inside each one of us and in the world, between the masculine and the feminine. And so that when women are 50% of power in the world, we’re gonna have a very different relationship to war and poverty and hunger, and social justice and wealth distribution and how we treat the environment to all of it. So that’s what when I think strategically, like what is the one thing that’s gonna then impact a lot of others. That’s what I come down on. so and so. So that’s one message of the book. But what about men? Because the, the tragic part of it is, is that this system of toxic masculinity, that that that we have been living out of for the last several 1000 years that has this twisted definition of what it means to be a man. It’s like, it doesn’t work for anybody, like, of course, it hasn’t worked for women, and the lack of equity and justice and equality. And the oppression of women is like that is still so prevalent in this world is like, like no longer acceptable or sustainable. And men are also paying a price for that. So let’s look at a couple of numbers. Like if you look at longevity in the US, women outlive men by five years, if you look at the global numbers, they outlive men by seven years, we get suicide numbers in this country women, I mean, men commit suicide four times as frequently as women. 70% of the suicides in this country are committed by middle aged white men, which, interestingly, are the ones who still hold the majority of the power in this world. So what’s up with that, you know, what is not working? And I think that part of what is not working, is that it’s this twisted definition of what it means to be a man and so we walk around because it’s like we were saying earlier, somebody decided that the emotions were weakness and little boys don’t cry. So we walk around, so threatened about not being masculine that we turn into these unfeeling, uncaring robots and there’s a price to pay for that. Like what used to be spiritual teaching that everything is energy. Now we know from quantum physics that it’s true, energy cannot be destroyed. So what does that mean that that the body is energy even though it feels solid, the emotions are energy, that’s all they are, they’re not good, they’re not bad. They’re not strength, they’re not weakness, they’re just energies coursing through our bodies. And so whenever we suppress those emotions, they don’t go away. Right, they stay in the tissues of our bodies, and only a couple things can happen. If so, we suppress, we suppress, we suppress. And then the next unfortunate being just says something towards the wrong way, um, volcanic eruption, right, all that repressed anger, like just comes out in appropriately and we cause harm to our relationships or suppress, suppress, suppress, suppress, that energy has to come out one way or the other. So it starts seeping out and showing up in physical symptoms, heart attacks, cancer officers. So so we’ve got, we’ve got to get this right, we’ve got to figure this out, and get right with our emotions. And yes, as far as I’m concerned, to be able to know what we’re feeling, and be able to define it, and be able to communicate it responsibly owning that, it’s our emotions, not dumping them on each other, like we tend to do, like holding it’s our emotions, and learning how to communicate them courageously, because it’s always gonna take courage and compassionately without pointing the finger and without blaming, and without, you know, like, only our experience, and our heart of it is to me, and, and gracefully in a way that the other person can actually hear them. All that is like nothing less than mastery. It’s the opposite of weakness.

Brandon Handley 21:41
Right? That fairpoint? Absolutely, I’d never, I think I’ve never made it to the other end of the bridge there. It’s into making that mastery. But you know, I am very familiar with not being familiar with my own emotions, right? And going and doing the research mean, like, oh, wow, I really don’t know what these are. What are some tools that you’d like to use to help males get in touch then with, you know, their emotions? And to point to how do you express them gracefully, because my history has been, oh, I found these emotions, but like, there is no grace to how I express that.

Christian de la Huerta 22:22
Right? That’s a great question. I’ll tell you what I did. And because I was clueless myself, and here’s the thing, my dad, a psychiatrist, and a good one, because I’ve heard from people after, you know, after he passed, so I used to go to him. And he really helped me. So I know it was a good psychiatrist, but in relationship to his own emotions, the guy was clueless, clueless. And so I grew up clueless, I couldn’t tell you what I was feeling because I had no idea what I was feeling. So when I started doing this kind of work, like, you know, that becoming self aware, and I realized that this was an area that I needed to do. So this is before cellphones, you know, I had a timer from Radio Shack, and I would set it on the hour, and I had I printed I found a list of emotions, and educated myself about what they meant. So I created this grid, you know, like, every day of the week, and by the hour, and the emotions on the other side. And so I at the hour go off, and I go, am I feeling this? Am I feeling that? Am I feeling this? Maybe that could be? And little by little, I did that for several weeks until I started becoming more emotionally intelligent. And in terms of how to communicate them. It’s another big question. But the main thing is to realize that it’s our emotions, like nobody out there can make us feel anything. Unless there’s some room in there that’s being hurt, right? So it’s our emotions like, like say, let’s just a quick example so that you and I both have lunch with our friend Joe, every week, like and he Joe inevitably shows up late 20 minutes. There I am on on Monday, just like I knew it. He’s so selfish. So so irresponsible, so only cares about his own schedule, blah, blah, blah, and all the other stories that we make up about stuff like this. Whereas you you know, it’s like great, Joe’s late. I have 20 minutes. Let me go online. Let me return a phone call. Let me just do what there’s so many options, so many possible responses to somebody showing up late. Why does it get me so pissed off? Right, so, so it’s so that’s what I mean by owning that it’s our emotions, and it doesn’t make Joe’s lateness or anything goes right. But it’s not about that. It’s not excusing anybody’s behavior. Like that’s not the point of the conversation. If we want to be free. We start from that place that it’s our emotions. And and it’s, that’s what his book is, is you know, it’s part of a series on what it means to live heroically because it’s work like to be able to, to be willing to go inside and to feel the stuff that sometimes we spent a lifetime running away from feeling and to to look at patterns to understand And why we do the things we do, why we sometimes get to sabotage ourselves and sabotage our relationships. Sometimes from the get go by attracting people who are not a match people who are not available, like it’s work to figure all this stuff out. But it’s incredibly rewarding and liberating, because we can bring choice back into the equation. So to go back to your question, how to so owning, how do we how do we communicate and communicate emotions responsibly owning other hours, and then using, you know, like basic communication stuff like using I statements? So rather than saying you did this, or you always do that, like the other ego that doesn’t even know that it’s an ego yet that doesn’t understand what the ego construct is? And why would that makes us do the things we do. And that gets us so defensive, and takes everything personally, and feel so victimized by others and by life. So it doesn’t even know what it is, the only thing you can do is defend, right? And especially when we use words like you always do this, or you never do that. It’s like it. Like they might be looking you in the eye, but they’re not even they’re not even there. They’re going back in their mind, they’re going back in time back in time back in time to that one time in 2009. Well, they didn’t do that. And so then they get to be right and say, well, that’s not always true. I don’t always do that. So so using I statements, and again, here’s a really good formula when you do this, I feel my so when when when you show up late, I feel disrespected. I feel dishonored. And and and i don’t i don’t like this feeling. I love our relationship, our love our friendship. And can we do this a different way? Yeah, that’s what I like to have a conversation with Joe about.

Brandon Handley 26:44
Yeah, Joe, you gotta stop showing up late man. Worrying about it. But for truly, for God’s sake, come on to the idea to is that a good This gives that gives me an opportunity, if you’re owning your emotions, to go in and just look at that. Right? What is triggering me to get pissed off of Joe? Right? Why? Why am I starting with Joe? Just because he’s late. Right? I got a whole bunch of other things like we spend in this energy on and posted Joe, right. I’ll never, I’m never gonna get this 20 minutes back. And while I want to blame Joe, it’s not just fault. And then the other piece that you’re talking about? The I know, when you do this, I feel that.

Unknown Speaker 27:31
You know,

Brandon Handley 27:34
I recently read like a validation book, right? Because I’m not a great validator. Christian, just just so we all know, but I’ll be getting better. Your feelings are always valid, right? So you can never that’s never a false statement. That’s really saying so and that’s and that’s what allows that person to not be defensive when you make those. I feel safe. That’s right. Okay. All right. Thanks for sharing that. That’s definitely definitely Yeah,

Christian de la Huerta 28:02
it’s, it’s worthwhile work is if we do the work, if we take, you know, whatever time it takes to figure it out, it’s like, we, when we zoom out, zoom out a little bit. It’s like, wait a minute, it’s not just when Joe is late, that I get pissed off is when anybody shows up late. So what is that? Right? It’s not so it’s not really about Joe. And if I zoom out a little further, it’s not even just about being late. It’s when somebody you know, cuts me off in conversation or cuts me off in traffic, it’s it kind of evokes the same kind of feeling that same kind of frustration or anger is what is that? So if we are willing to do that work and go back in time back in time, and to begin to see when How did this pattern start, which most of the time is gonna go back to something from childhood probably in relationship to it with mommy or daddy. And, and what’s at the core of it is like, we don’t feel valued, right, like, the core underneath the anger. It’s like, we don’t feel respected. We don’t feel valued. We don’t feel like he’s like he’s valuing his time more than he’s valuing mine. And that’s the unhealed wound that’s getting triggered in this present situation, but the one is much older than my lunches with Joe.

Brandon Handley 29:12
Yeah. It’s like, peeling off a scab. That never quite healed. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, disgusting. Alright, so Kristen, got a couple questions for you real quick here. I kind of liken this show to like a spiritual speed dating show, right? Like, I understand Come on, and it’s the spiritual speed dating. And like, you know, what’s, what’s Christian got for me? So I’m gonna say, hey, Bachelor number one out of a couple different questions. If that’s your number one, what is your one wish for the world?

Christian de la Huerta 29:53
You know, and and i’m not i’m not a good one for speed dating. If we really got who we are, which which is connected to understanding that, that we’re not the ego. And really quickly, if we put up, here’s a great way of understanding that you go, if you put a baseball in the center of a stadium, that’s the ego, who we are is actually the fricking stadium. And we allow this tiny, tiny, tiny part of who we are to think that it is all of who we are. And to make really important, critical, consequential choices from its very small, limited and always fear based perspective. So if we got who we really are, that would shift everything, it would shift the relationship to ourselves, it would shift our relationship to each other, it would shift our relationship to the planet.

Brandon Handley 30:43
I love that visual too. And, you know, I guess that brings up the question, too, is like, we make that content, how do we make that conscious shift to, you know, connect to our power? How do we meet that constant shift to realize that we don’t have anything left to be afraid of, unless we’re hanging out in the desert reliance?

Christian de la Huerta 31:03
That’s right. And, you know, that’s like that’s by this book. Seriously, the book will walk you by the hand, and it’ll it’ll, it’ll help you understand the egos like, incomplete humility, I don’t know. Like, to me, this is the simplest way that that I’ve seen of explaining what the ego is. So that we can really get it so that we can get what it what the self made prison of the ego is, so that we can let ourselves out because nobody else is gonna let us out of our self made prisons, they can’t, only we can do that. And only we can step into our own power. Nobody can do that for us. But we’ve got it takes work. But we’ve got to get clear about why we do the things we do and in which situations, do we give our power away? Or, you know, is it does it tend to be with in romantic, intimate sexual relationships? Or do we tend to give our power away with authority figures, bosses, coaches, nose, religious leaders, that kind of thing, parental figures. And so once we are willing to do the work and look at the patterns, then we can, like cut it out, and stop giving our power away and, and stepping into our full potential as human beings? Because Ain’t nobody else gonna do it? If we don’t? Right,

Brandon Handley 32:16
right? I think that one of the couple of things I enjoyed about your book, too, since you brought up liking these questions, you’ve got these questions just like this to help you to identify the patterns. At the end of each chapter, you give out the layout. You say, all right, well, you know, here’s the information. But here’s how you can apply it right? Go ahead here, use some of these questions, detect the patterns. And then you know, to point, you get to know where is it you are giving your power away? And stop. Right? And again, that becomes a source. Right? Yeah. And, and at least at that point in time, you recognize that you’re, you know, in this position of your own power, and you get to at least determined to do it consciously. Right, exactly. In the end, that’s what freedom is.

Christian de la Huerta 33:07
Yeah, that’s it, you just nailed it. Because you know, there were times where it may not be in our highest highest interest. Like, we may not be our in our highest interest to like really step into our power in relationship to our boss, until we have something else lined up. Or if we’re being you know, somebody is holding a gun or a knife up in a dark alley. It may not be the that may not be the best time to say oh, well, this really doesn’t work for me. Right? You just hand over the frickin wallet and walk away with your life. So yeah, of course, of course. We’re gonna be smart about this. So I think you’re right. I think it’s about choice, bringing choice back into the equation.

Brandon Handley 33:44
Kristen, thanks so much for thanks for finding me. And, you know, offering to come on the show. I’ve enjoyed the conversation. I’ve enjoyed the book that I’ve read, you know, the bulk of it so far.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

I was lucky enough to catch up with Marissa Nash and chat about how she is leading with spirituality in her thriving coaching business.

Her career in wellness started at lululemon, and since she has worked in the wellness industry for over 9 years. She has been a Certified Professional Life Coach for 5+ years, a 1,000+ hour Yoga Instructor for 9+ years and she specialize in teaching self-care, meditation & mindfulness techniques.

Marissa is a certified Executive Coach and Corporate Wellness Consultant. She is also certified in The Science of Wellbeing from Yale University and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction from Thomas Jefferson, developed by Meditation Teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn.

She developed The Well Method out of a gap that she witnessed in the wellness industry as well as the practices, techniques, and holistic modalities that she has used to heal and transform her own mind, body, and soul.

She has coached over 300 women and have worked with clients across the U.S. and abroad, including California, Pennsylvania, New Zealand, North Carolina, Texas, South Carolina, Michigan, and New York!

She graduated from Penn State University in 2011 with a B.A. in Corporate Communications and completed my Master’s Degree in Organizational Leadership and Executive Coaching at Concordia University with Dr. John Townsend.

She is also a dog-mom to my mini-goldendoode, Finn (check her out on my instagram!)

Connect with Marissa here:

https://www.thewellco.org/

https://instagram.com/marissarosenash

https://www.facebook.com/thewellcobymarissarose

Brandon Handley 0:00
54321 Hey there podcast listener and welcome to spiritual dope today I’ve got Marissa Nash joining me and she is a woman’s life wellness coach, executive coach, meditation teacher, yoga instructor, corporate wellness consultant, you know, she embodies all these things and, but she pulls it together in a holistic manner. So she has a holistic life coach. And her mission is to teach you how to tap into the wisdom of your mind, body and soul. And learn to trust your intuition and step into your personal power both personally and professionally. As a certified life coach for over five years, a over 1000 hours of yoga instructor for nine years, specializes in self care, meditation and mindfulness techniques. And she’s also a certified coach and a corporate wellness consultant. There’s There’s quite a bit more so you know, you’ve got you’ve got it all gone down. But as it kind of relates to this, you believe in Many holistic modalities that you use with your clients such as Lifestyle coaching, yoga, mindfulness, visualization, and Reiki. And I’ll leave it for anyone who wants to find out more about all that you’re doing to head over to your website after they kind of check it out. But welcome, and thanks for joining us.

Marissa Nash 1:19
Thanks, Brandon. I’m really excited to be here.

Brandon Handley 1:22
You have no idea what you’re in for do you’re like, I have no idea what’s happening.

Unknown Speaker 1:27
But like the energy of it.

Brandon Handley 1:30
I love it. I love it. Um, so you and I were connected by a good friend of mine, Jeremy Todd, who we started our podcast adventure years ago with each other. He was quite literally my first interview. And and YouTube connected and he said, you know, you got to talk to Brandon, you’re, you’re right down the street from me. You’re over in Philadelphia, you’re from the area as well. And let’s kick it off. I mean, what what what, that’s what I want to start with cards at the every card. Nearby your tarot cards because this is how you start your this so So, you know Marissa starts her podcast with a, you know, a kind of a card reading. I don’t, but I love the idea so I figured I’d spring that on you let’s find one do you want to pull a card and tell us what we’re up for?

Marissa Nash 2:15
I love it. Yes, I would love to do that I do on my podcast and in sessions with all my clients, I pull cards. I find that it’s really important just to connect spiritually with you know, you and I are humans on this earth doing the best we can but you know, what, what is the divine guidance that we need to be tuned into and also for your listeners. So I use Oracle cards. I’m a big fan of Gabby Bernstein. So I’m using her super attractor deck.

Brandon Handley 2:41
She, you know, I wasn’t aware of like she’s a spiritual junkie. Right? Is that right? Yeah. I love it. Right like it plays in line with spiritual dope, right. Come on now.

Unknown Speaker 2:51
Yes, I love it. Yes. Okay, so this is a cool one. So I’ll read this over. So it says the more I attune my energy with appreciation, the more the universe will deliver.

Brandon Handley 3:03
Hmm, love it. What’s that mean for us today?

Unknown Speaker 3:07
Yeah, I think it’s really interesting. I, you know, I, I don’t know where this conversation will go. But a big belief that I have is around manifestation and in order to manifest, you really have to appreciate what you have and you have to be in energy and in alignment with appreciation and gratitude. It’s a big part of my story. And what I help clients with is really focusing on living a life in alignment with gratitude and appreciation and a state of abundance. So I imagine that will come up today.

Brandon Handley 3:35
Absolutely, I mean, look, so that’s all the line is the line is, uh, you know, appreciate what you have, right? Just Just in general. You know, just be grateful for the things that you do have. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got a lot, but at least want what you have, right? Because if you’ve got a lot and you don’t want it, that’s not serving you. Right. Right. So for you For your for your information. So I grew up with a hippie mom. Right? Well, and, and yeah, we’ll see there you go and and it was like, you know, she was caught like these these lifestyle trappings, right like you know, these are all the trappings, like if you’ve got all these things and you’re kind of trapped with those things right because you have to, you’re trapped with those things you’re maintaining them. Right. So let’s let’s I mean let’s jump into, you know your journey a little bit I want to share a little bit of your backstory. realizing you’re from the Philadelphia area, you’re a Penn Stater Penn State, right. So Penn State, my wife went to Penn State as well she, she still talks about it, she still loves it seems like it must have been a good time there. But you also you’ve traveled around a little bit. And most recently if I if I’m following the story, now you’re back here from Texas. Right? Is that right? Okay. So, walk us in the journey from you know, Penn State to where you are today? Any synopsis any way you want to?

Unknown Speaker 5:03
Yeah, I would love to because my journey actually in wellness did start nine years ago at Penn State, which is a little surprising because you think Penn State party school, I was in a sorority, and I had this moment, my junior year of college, where I just knew that I was seeking more. I felt like you know, did the college thing. There’s something more for me, but I didn’t know what it was. And I remember my best friend Becca, I came back from summer break. And she just looked different. She looked radiant. She looked, you know what I would call really well. And I just asked him like, Becca, what have you been doing? It’s yoga. And I’m like, yoga. What, what’s yoga all about? Let me try it. And so we would do a 90 minute hot yoga class at this little apartment in State College on campus at Penn State. This guy named Doug owned it and he was just plugged heaters into the wall of this apartment studio that he rented. And we would do hot yoga for 90 minutes and then it would end with a yoga nidra. a pretty long 30 minute I feel like sometimes even 40 minute Yoga nidra practice which is so good. It’s a deep meditative practice. So you’re going deep into your subconscious through guided meditation. So I was introduced to meditation, spirituality and yoga, you know, one of its deepest levels at a very young age. And I don’t think I knew how powerful that really was, but it worked for me it calmed a lot of my anxiety. I have been a dancer when I was in middle school, I quit around High School. And I think that creative element was really missing from my life. So I felt like I had found my place I did one yoga class and call my dad the next day as a college student. I said, Dad, I’m going to get certified to be a yoga teacher.

Unknown Speaker 6:53
I have two or three grand

Unknown Speaker 6:57
Are you back and I did it. I honestly took one yoga class. Sign up for teacher training the next day with the philosophy that, you know if I pay for the teacher training I get for yoga classes and I get paid as a teacher. So it made sense to me. And from there my journey took off actually worked really well lemon for a while and two different stores in Philadelphia and in Charleston, South Carolina. And Lulu lemon was a great setup for me at a young age. They were really big on goal setting, there was a lot of transformational leadership that was happening within the organization, and just a lot of ways to really connect with the wellness community as well. So I really do a credit a lot of my early career to what I learned at lemon. And that that ended me up in Charleston, I ended up moving to Charleston before Charleston was, you know, the place that it is today. This was, gosh, six years ago, and stayed in Charleston for a little while. Where to Lou lemon didn’t teach much yoga there. But then I really started teaching yoga when I moved to Southern California

Brandon Handley 7:57
because there’s a there’s a Bill Murray story in Charleston. Yeah, let’s highlight that just for a second. Because you know, listen, when my wife and I were in North Carolina for a little bit you and I had talked a little bit about this before. And we’re like, the only reason we would go to Charleston would be to catch up with Bill Murray. What happened between you and Bill Murray?

Unknown Speaker 8:16
I don’t know very. I’ve never met him. But

Unknown Speaker 8:20
no, no.

Brandon Handley 8:22
Yeah, no. Did we have this conversation? He became me. That’s not you. Ah, are you sure?

Unknown Speaker 8:30
I never met him. I mean, he lives there. But yeah,

Brandon Handley 8:33
that was told me the story then.

Unknown Speaker 8:36
I don’t know.

Unknown Speaker 8:38
I’ve been talking to Okay, keep moving then.

Unknown Speaker 8:40
Oh, no, the girl said. Um, yeah. Now he has a restaurant though. Apparently. That’s really good. I

Brandon Handley 8:45
was I wasn’t so I was in this conversation. Mm hmm. Man. All right. Yeah, she’s pretty good with this, but go ahead.

Unknown Speaker 8:52
Um, yeah, so then I actually ended up moving to Southern California. I got a job teaching stand up paddleboard yoga in Laguna Beach. and manage this little paddle, paddle board shop and Laguna on the ocean. And it was awesome. You know, living in Southern California being in my early 20s I really got to live out a lot of the dreams that I had. And I then got connected with core power yoga. So I taught full time yoga in Southern California. I also managed the core power yoga studio for a little while. Another amazing organization to be a part of great, great leadership, great leadership development inside of the organization. And then I honestly moved back to Charleston and did some nonprofit work for a little while. And all along have been a life coach. So I’ve been a life coach for five years, I’ve always specifically focused on women, helping them to transform their lives, whatever that looks like for them, whatever their end goal is. In the recent couple of years, my my primary focus has been on holistic wellness, and really helping women to map out what their wellness plan looks like. I found For me when I really got in touch with Okay, my wellness is a priority took me a little while to figure out it was almost difficult it was it was hard like this undercover topic of like, I would walk in like a crystal shop and be like, Do you know anyone that practices I already know or let you know, like, do you know when doing energy healing and it’s like, why was this so hard to find? And

Unknown Speaker 10:23
so yeah,

Unknown Speaker 10:24
yeah, exactly but what I knew worked for me um, and so that’s really led me to design you know, the welco which is my wellness coaching firm, as well as my corporate wellness programs. And you know, as of late, the well method, which really guides women through a one year program, where they actually get to meet with me as their transformational leadership coach, but then also get access to for other holistic healers that they get to do private sessions with within the year because that’s what I’ve found works for me is being able to work with a lot of different modes. realities and a lot of different healers to make sure that I’m well in all different areas of my life.

Unknown Speaker 11:06
Now, I love it. I love it.

Brandon Handley 11:08
And I love Look, I mean, it’s initially right even back in college when you’re doing kind of the body movement, right with the yoga and then you go right into, you know that Yogananda right, like going into the deep meditative state. And, you know, the things that that’s, it’s a lot of people know, to move their bodies, right and work their bodies, and that’s really important, but what they don’t do after that is take some time to kind of go with it.

Unknown Speaker 11:35
Yes, I,

Brandon Handley 11:37
um, I want to know more about your hippie mom. Yeah. Yes. I mean, you know, so, you know, Was it easy for you then to for, for me to kind of jump into this space mentally. It was kind of an easy transition for myself, because of a hippie mom. Right. So I’m just curious if that was similar for you. Yeah, so

Unknown Speaker 11:57
my parents are both deadheads, so Grateful Dead all day long in our house still. And yeah, I think my mom, so my dad I would describe is like, yeah, deadhead, he still goes to like cover shows and Yeah, super into it just um, my dad was always so supportive of me and my dreams. He’s also an entrepreneur. So I think that helped me. So I’ve never been limited in that. And my mom is very spiritual. She’s very open minded. I love that about her. I remember she would buy me books of, you know, different world religions, and she always just encouraged me to explore and to really honor people and faith in their spirituality, their race. I mean, you know, what, what they believed and I’m, I’m really grateful for that. It’s something that you know, as you get older, you realize that not everybody is raised that way. And I really raised to be empowered to make my own decisions in my faith and spirituality career. And it’s helped me a lot, I think, be a leader in this space.

Brandon Handley 12:56
Now, I love it and it seems like you know, you’re totally aligned with Kind of your purpose? Um, and what would you say purposes because, you know, bring in, I think as a coach, right, coming from the coaching space as well as a coach, you know, it’s our job to help others bring out the best and others. Right? Bring. And I had another guy I had a coach and look, I have a, I’m not a Christian, I don’t come from a Christian background, but you know, my coaches like my job is to bring people to Christ. I was like, Okay, tell me what that means to you. Right? Because I mean, that could mean anything to anybody. Right? And when he explained it, to me, it was, you know, to kind of bring you to your Divine Self Help you step into your power, that’s a good thing. So what does that? What does coaching mean to you? What’s your end game? Like when you’re coaching somebody? What’s that transformation? really mean to you?

Unknown Speaker 13:46
Yeah, that’s a great question. So for me, I would say since I work specifically with women, it’s to help them to live a life that feels in alignment. So I do a lot of limiting beliefs work. I also really do believe in meditation because I think that We can get covered in beliefs about ourselves, or we have the world works that aren’t true. And for me, it’s been most healing, to clarify, but what beliefs do I choose? And then from that place, I can then make empowered decisions about my life. And, you know, it’s difficult. And that’s why I think coaching is so valuable, because, you know, it’s difficult making decisions for my life that don’t fit the mold for what everybody else is doing. And I know I’ve always kind of been that way. But through coaching and having my own coach, you know, you’re you’re validated, you’re affirmed, you’re reminded that that’s okay. I’m also really big on community. So I do have a community called the well and that’s really designed so that women can come together and explore who they are and still be loved along the way. So that that’s really important to me, the way that I do that I can talk about later, but it’s really about making empowered decisions for your life, based on you learning how to live a life that’s in alignment for you, not based on what anybody else wants for you.

Brandon Handley 14:57
No, absolutely right. I mean, there’s the public process of kind of going to unlearn everything you’ve been taught. Right? But but in the sense and and and try not to do it too dramatically, right? Like you always think about a good buddy of mine. And we always talk about, you know, the matrix, and nobody makes their first jump, right? And just trying to like, yeah, look, you’re gonna make that first jump. And if you you know, quote, unquote, fail, or if you fall down, I hit your face. I mean, that’s all in your mind. Right? Like, you just get back up and you keep at it, right? How do you know, how do you help these women to expand and understand their limiting beliefs?

Unknown Speaker 15:35
Yeah, definitely. I like what you said about you know, I don’t think it’s a hard and fast process. I think that can actually be more disruptive and counterproductive. So you know, I actually did a limiting belief session with a client yesterday, but that was her sixth time working with me. So we’ve been working together for three months. You know, it’s something that I think the relationship with Coach and client is really important. I’m definitely the type of coach where you know, it’s not a one off session. I don’t even offer one off sessions like it’s it’s a year long program at this point because you have to feel really safe, you know, you have to feel really safe and secure with the people that you’re working with to really transform on a deep level. So the limiting beliefs work, I actually was inspired to create that. From john Maxwell. It was literally like a four sentence line in one of his books that I read. And I was like, that’s it. That’s exactly what I need and what I feel like my clients have needed. I used to run my coaching practice, in that I would help my clients to visualize where they want to be. I would help them to set the goals to get there, and then I would hold them accountable. But I noticed they weren’t actually achieving and accomplishing their goals because they were running up against these limits in these blocks. So that’s how now I tackle the blocks and I let them know that it’s normal to have blocks, right. Like I said, like the unlearning process isn’t unique to anyone. We all meet that. So yeah, it’s really, I would say like guiding them and holding their hand through it but also empowering them. Don’t give them words or language, I might give them examples. But ultimately they end up with an affirmation that is going to then rewire their brain to push them to where they want to be in a loving and kind way.

Brandon Handley 17:10
Hello, hello. And john Maxwell is really awesome, right? I wasn’t a fan of his until his latest book, right? And I don’t even know what the name of it is, but somebody shared it with me when the leader shift, right, why the leadership, audible was like, so good. And like, literally mowing my lawn listening to it. I was like, I was like, that’s it this great, I’m like, you know, and then I was like, get Fine. I’ll go read some more of his stuff. You know, because, you know, some, you know, coming from that subculture background and you can’t Yeah, that’s more it’s a little too square square hole for me, right. Um, so, you know, I finally accepted them into my life. It’s my john Maxwell story. But it’s like that, right? You you. You have and this is, this is My process right sounds kind of similar, where you’ve got the idea in your mind. And it’s not until like you stumble across something else that explains it for you like, Oh my god, that four lines right there explains what I’ve been trying to convey, but I haven’t been able to do it. And there it is. And it’s just like a burst right there kind of like a starburst, right? So I love that. Let’s talk a second about like, you know, spirituality and Divinity. Right, what I mean? I think, yeah, I think I heard you say divinity. Talk a little bit about that, you know, on one of your podcasts, and then what’s that mean to you? Like, kind of taking divine grace and spirituality, right, like

Unknown Speaker 18:46
fill me in like, what’s what’s up?

Unknown Speaker 18:48
For me my spirituality is a constant exploration. I remember when, you know, I I was a Christian at a point and then I you know, I wasn’t and I was raised Christian. So I kind of went in and out and you know, I am no longer a Christian. And I remember asking myself like, well, who do I pray to that, you know? And for me it was it was kind of helpful and fun to just explore, you know, ask other people like, Well, how do you pray? And what does that look like? And I would work with different healers and just kind of, you know, kind of absorb and try on and then figure out what works for me. So, currently, my spiritual practice my spirituality looks like a lot of meditation, a lot of self reflection, a lot of letting go of being told what to do and how to do it and and challenging and questioning and digging in. But a big spiritual practice for me is just reciting some affirmations and prayers that I have. One that I specifically love that I’m working with right now is I love myself unconditionally. I feel myself unconditionally. I feel myself loving myself unconditionally. I feel myself forgiving myself unconditionally. We thank you. We thank you. We thank you. So the past the present in the future, and I love that prayer. So that’s just mean that brings me back to a place of centering and grounding and then just helps me move on with my day. So yeah, for me, it’s really being connected to the divine throughout the day. So cards helped me with that meditation. Prayer yoga. breathwork is a big practice of mine. I think there are a lot of different ways to spirituality. And if you’re someone that’s looking to explore spirituality, I highly recommend white hot truth by Danielle Laporte. She kind of tackles all these different spiritual practices and religions and beliefs in a really loving, hilarious way. And it really freed me up to be like, this doesn’t need to be so serious, you know, like I can just floor and try on and see what works for Marissa,

Brandon Handley 20:47
for sure, for sure. I love that. I love that right? It doesn’t have to be so serious. It doesn’t have to be. Don’t have to like, just kind of make fun of the door. There’s always like a headband. Like listen if you go to a dead concert everybody looks like they go to what that concert right? And sometimes you get the same type of thing with spirituality you go to like you’re like, Oh, you know what these it looks like this looks like it could be a pretty cool spiritual group you show up and everybody’s wearing like the same kind of tie dye skirt like beads around their neck and you know, there’s definitely some crystals going on. Right? But it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to look the part to be spiritual, right? You don’t have to be do it that way. And it doesn’t sound like you’re doing it that way. Sounds like you’re doing you know what’s, what’s houses look for? maresa. Right. connected to the divine, then let’s take another layer deeper. What’s the divine mean to you?

Unknown Speaker 21:43
Yes, I really believe I kind of CO relate. Mm hmm. So deep question. So I do pray for divine guidance. I have found that instead of you know, praying to God, I pray for divine guidance. So that’s one way that I connect with the divine I also view the divine as our higher self. So sometimes I will visualize either my higher self or my higher self showing up as golden light and invite that into my body and clear and release any beliefs within me that are not in alignment with my higher self, who I believe is the divine version of me.

Brandon Handley 22:19
Okay, is the Divine Self. And just, you know, kind of checking it out, right, I love First of all, I love the imagery. You know, is it the Divine Self a part? A part? Is it within you, a part of you are separate from you, like, I’m just, you know, where we are.

Unknown Speaker 22:36
I see it as something I can always connect with. I think, you know, I’m not personally actually someone that believes, you know, and like, I’m not trying to achieve enlightenment on this earth. You know, but I think that I think I’m a human, you know, a soul and a human body. You know, I am very human and very much of this world. Every day, you know, it’s like, um, you know, I don’t believe in like wearing all white And being spiritually light ending all day. And I love being a human and love being in this body so that I can bring divine guidance to this earth. So yeah, I think for me, it’s something that I can always access and also is within me, but because I live in the world, you know, that can be clouded. Sure, no, no, I get it. I get it. And first of all, I’ll throw out like I made a coffee cup. It says a first coffee than awakening. Right? Yeah.

Brandon Handley 23:27
Right. Because we are like totally human. And like, you know, some days which is like, you know, if you if you if you catch me before this cup of coffee might not be best idea, right. So, so here’s the here’s why I’m digging into that, right? Because I think I think the lion came from like Joe dispenza. Right? We only rise to our level of thinking, right? If we only rise our level of thinking and then if we think that and there’s nothing about being human right if we just think that if we think We’re just seeing a man and we just think that we’re these these shells. And we just think that we’re these, you know, flesh bags and there’s nothing again, nothing wrong with that. But once you kind of introduce your higher self, once you introduce this connection to divinity, once you access the divinity, your Divine Self, and you’ve got that ability to access that, what does that do to your level of thinking? Right? And to me, like that just means that you access a different, you know, level or phase of thinking. So with your divine with your divine divinity and divine grace, you’re able to take on more than you could if you were just human, right? And again, I’m not saying just humans are bad we all have everybody has the ability. And the other part of this too is like if we go all the way back, you know, what beliefs do you choose? Right? You can choose, you know, if we use Albert Einstein, you know, either everything’s a miracle or nothing’s a miracle, right? If we use the Vedanta Right, I’m not, if you listen to Swami is Safari on a panda, right, I totally butchered that last name, but I got all the syllables. If, if you ever check him out, like I mean, there’s 44 hours like where he’s gotten into the introduction of data, but like, part of it is either your all of it or none of it right? You’re either all of the universe or you’re not a bit you’re connected 100% or not at all. So but that’s a choice that you make. And once you make those choices, right, it starts to open up and it sounds like you do some la right like, I mean, you know, law of attraction stuff, it all kind of plays in and that’s why you know, I’m kind of digging in on the Divinity part, just kind of seeing where you are with that. So once you accept your divine access, how do you feel like that transformed you?

Unknown Speaker 25:46
Yes, interesting, because actually, I’m gonna relate this to the the work. The way that I help people to access their most Divine Self for sure is through meditation visualization. I take them through, you know, deep guided journeys, but I also because of the human experience I really helped them to focus on what their core desired feelings are, and how do they want to feel in this life because I believe that when you can access that, then you can actually live out your most divine and most empowered self. So for me, once I connected with, you know, who am I and what are my wants and my needs and desires, which is typically more difficult for women than it is for men. I was really able to make decisions for my life that bettered my life that made me feel more in alignment that started to attract more of what I wanted, and you kind of alluded to it, but I think that perspective is key. And that’s why in the beginning, when we pulled this card, you know, tuning your energy to appreciation is huge. Because if you can attune yourself to appreciation or you know, to an affirmation of gratitude to what’s already amazing in front of you, you’re going to start to Yes, I believe attract more of it, but also have eyes for seeing more of it. So I’m a big believer in that As well

Brandon Handley 27:01
100% I call that like kind of setting your filters, right? Like, pretend like we’re all walking Google’s right. If I go and I say, you know, show me beautiful things in Google, it returns beautiful things. It never ever does it return, like a whole bunch of crap. Right? And, you know, so if we wake up every day, you’re like, Oh, this sucks. That sucks. This sucks. That sucks. You know, you’re setting your filter to this sucks. This sucks. And that’s all you’re gonna see. Right? So I wanna, I want to, I’m gonna pick on a little bit here on the, you know, the women, you know, women and and kind of determining what they want, you know, versus men. Right? As a challenge, right? What makes you say that like, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 27:44
yeah, but while the masculine energy, like the Divine Masculine is much more rooted in what they want, what they need, getting those needs met, it’s much more stable and consistent. Just eat You know, we could go deep, like our hormone cycles are different, you know. So men are men are very static from day to day. So they wake up, they want, it’s pretty much the same every day. Women are more in a 28 day hormone cycle. So we change and we add and we flow in the Divine Feminine is it’s more creative, it’s a more more open, it’s more sensitive. So for us, it actually can change a lot. You know, this goes for both women and men, but a lot of women that I work with are also empaths. So they can take on a lot of other people’s energies, and men can do that, too. Absolutely. But yeah, I think that, you know, women are naturally a little bit more curious and sensitive and willing to go with the flow versus be like, this is what I want this I need day in day out.

Brandon Handley 28:45
Sure. Enough, fair enough. Fair enough. Um, and here’s the only the only the only thing I’ll say about that is that I think that’s just our Western conditioning. Right? And, and I hit on this all the time with, you know, kind of anybody I talked to especially young guys when we like, when we’re growing up, right as men. It’s like It’s like, and women too, I’m sure it’s like, Alright, well, don’t give into your emotions, right? Don’t react to your emotions. And you know, you can’t let your emotions control you. And what that translates into, for me as a child, right is, oh, I’m feeling something, I need to shut that off and never address it again. All right. And I think that i think that that’s kind of where the that’s what we see. Right? The the men’s non ability or haven’t traditionally been trained to address their emotions, right, even identify him. Right. And I think that that’s the big challenge. It’s like, hey, do you even know what you’re feeling right now? Because if you don’t know what you’re feeling, how can you address it? Right? It’s just the whole awareness thing we like if it doesn’t have a label, you can’t you can’t do anything with it. Right? So that’s the one thing that the author out there because I don’t I feel like men kind of get a bum rap and we don’t allow. I don’t know what the hell I want, right? You know what I mean? It’s like, yeah, I’m just doing I’m just doing what the guy had me just did or over there. I’m like, I don’t shit works. We’ll try that. What do you just do? I’m gonna do that, right. Just like you got to varies. I’ll get two burgers. I don’t whatever. Right. Yeah. So it’s kind of like our social training. Right? Yeah, just saying give men a chance, you know? Yeah, it’s, it’s the, it’s the idea of like, have be had that open dialogue, right? And that’s a challenge too. For men. It’s like, you know, they feel like you know, I’m going to go just on my own here. So if we kind of open up and share a feeling of it, first of all, we’re like, we don’t even know we’re like, it feels kind of like this amorphous blob over here. Let’s let’s you know, let’s let’s whittle it down until we can figure it out. And nobody wants to be caught in that situation. Like I’m feeling these things and I don’t even know what they already want to talk about that because that could that could get rejected. Right.

Unknown Speaker 31:01
Yes, no, that’s a really great point. I definitely do agree, I think all of us can benefit from being more self aware. So the first piece is the awareness piece of how Yeah, how do I want to feel and not just go? Oh, yeah, like, the, like you said, This is what the person ahead of me did. So this is how I have to do it. One affirmation that I’ve been telling myself lately, as I, you know, like bring some new programs into existence for the welco is just I can be the first to do it. Because I want to overcome that belief of Well, I have to do it a certain way, because that’s how society has done it. It’s like, I’m an Aquarius, and I’m here to innovate and honestly, there’s to

Unknown Speaker 31:40
me, there’s no way so winter Bertha, January 27 25th. So um, you know, it’s funny.

Brandon Handley 31:51
The the idea though, so, you know, how do you want to feel in this life, right, how so let’s say you’re working with us women that aren’t over connected with their emotions, how do you get them connected to those emotions? And, you know, to get them to even explore that idea?

Unknown Speaker 32:08
Yeah, so it is a process. So I use the nine areas of wellness. And with each of those areas, we go through an entire map of how they’re feeling on a scale of one to 10 in that area, then we talk about what’s currently happening. So that’s the awareness piece in that area. And then I have them just rewrite and journal about how they want to feel or what they want in that area. So it could be like, you know, I want to buy a house or I want a different career, whatever it is, and then we we go back and I really have them focus on the feelings behind what they desire. And then I have them narrow those down. And then we start to set action steps and goals around those feelings because it’s honestly the hardest work is figuring out what you want to feel. emotional process, even just doing that that usually causes some shift and the person but then once you start to get those needs on small levels, it feels good. You know, I always hear that we are so primal, you know, we are primal beings, we want to feel good, we want what we want. So when you get clued in to what you want, you’re going to go and get it as long as you can start small, and then you’re going to want more of that and more of that. I always say, you know, it’s like, you know, if you’re a runner, I’m a runner, but after I go for a run, I can be having a pretty shitty day, and I’ll go for a run and then I’m like, I feel great. Everything’s okay, I want to drink a green juice. I’m gonna wake up early tomorrow and do yoga. You know, I’m like, I feel good. I did something good for myself. So the more small good things you can do for yourself. I think the more you can tap into that transformation a little bit quick, quicker.

Brandon Handley 33:40
And I think he talked about that in the beginning too. Like how do I start doing wellness just for myself? Right. And and how do you do that how you start some of your clients off right small bits and pieces and you know, what’s the, what’s some of the reactions that they get, like, what’s what are like? What are some timelines that you look Got a with the scenes, some transformations and people.

Unknown Speaker 34:05
Oh man, it’s so cool. So I really do focus my practice on women who who work in corporate, they certainly don’t have to. But a lot of my clients do work in corporate. So it’s really amazing to see that the work that we do in their personal life actually translates into their corporate space, they are much more confident. And this is within a couple of months. So that they noticed that they’re much more confident they’re making healthier decisions for their life. They’re trying a lot of different wellness modalities that feel like they finally fit. Because that’s the type of coach that will be like, cool, we’re gonna have you do yoga, but how are you feeling? What do you need? Okay, so you’re anxious. So let’s not have you do power yoga, let’s have you do some yoga. So it’s very holistic in that way, really looking at the client as a unique individual. their relationships begin to change very quickly. And yeah, they’re just overall happier and they get feedback really quickly from other people. A lot of my clients are like, people are telling you that I seem happier. And I’m like, Yeah.

Brandon Handley 35:04
Awesome. That’s awesome. I love it. I love you know, look, I mean, everybody, I think needs it right? to kind of go through the process. If we at least have somebody out there encouraging them and seeing them for who they are, right, we like you know, I see you for who you are. And we’re gonna help you to see the same for yourself. Yeah. Um, do you want to talk a little bit more about the wall method? Like kind of what you got going on there?

Unknown Speaker 35:31
Yeah, sure. I’d love to. So how a man the well method was really I would say that burst into existence just from a gap that I experienced in the wellness industry. And this obviously is, you know, my personal methodology and what works for me. So there are plenty of ways to do wellness. But what I noticed when I really wanted to start my wellness journey, and I was like, I’m ready. This is important to me. I’m ready to invest in it. Like I mentioned earlier, it was to like, it felt like I was piecemealing everything together and it honestly started to add up. You know, I’m like working with one healer there and I’m driving 30 minutes and then I found this other I related coach and I have to go 45 minutes into the city and I’m like driving all over and scheduling all these appointments and it was a little overwhelming. Yes, it absolutely worked. And I’ve connected with so many incredible wellness leaders. So what I’ve done with the well method is I’ve developed a one year program so my clients actually work with me as their holistic life coach and then they also quarterly get a session with a wellness expert. So I’ll have somebody that you know, teaches them I Aveda in a private one on one session and that really helps them to understand more about their own body and seasonal wellness. I have a girl that will be doing body acceptance and self love working with an astrologer and then a womb wisdom guide and healer. So it’s an amazing womb wisdom guide and healer

Unknown Speaker 36:58
wisdom

Unknown Speaker 37:00
Yes, this might be new. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 37:03
That’s interesting. That’s actually I’ve never heard I’ve never I’ve never heard and it’s just fun to say actually waited.

Unknown Speaker 37:08
Yeah, it’s a really cool creative title, but she’s a cycle track and how to actually use their cycle to their advantage, which is really important and women’s wellness.

Brandon Handley 37:18
Sure, man, it’s like, you know, the tides of the ocean no doubt, right? Yeah. And I’m sure that there’s like some emotional ebbing and flowing right. When are you going to use that? high tide of energy? You got it.

Unknown Speaker 37:32
I can tell you have a wife who understands

Brandon Handley 37:38
so listen again. I grew up in your my hippie mom. Oh, yeah. single mom is just kind of like, you know, it’s just it’s kind of already there. Right. So all that stuff there. So advantage disadvantage, I don’t know. Um, and and so you’re rolling this out? This is going to come out like around July so we’re going to be live in July?

Unknown Speaker 37:58
Yes, yes, we will be live In July, so I’ve actually already been doing I would say, half of this program, or you know, years now. So it’s really just an accumulation of everything that has worked and then really making it personalized. It will be a personalized bonus plan so that you don’t have to go find all the healers and ask weird questions and go into crystal shops and feel like you’re like, knowing that Unicode

Brandon Handley 38:22
gamma system there bro.

Unknown Speaker 38:25
Paying the table, you know, it’s, it’s all designed specifically for you. And actually, it’s based on seasonal wellness. So we’ll go through different wellness topics that I have found to be transformative in my life based on the seasons and the nature of each season and what you know, I believe that we should be holistically looking at in this season.

Brandon Handley 38:44
I love it. I love it on your page. Where do I find you at wellness podcast, you’ve got your wellness podcast, you offer a free virtual chain training on your site. You’ve got some meditations on there. You’ve got books Love I’m gonna go ahead and just say you know playing big by Tara Moore You are a badass by Jensen zero desire map. Which one did you mentioned at the beginning? Right? White Hot

Unknown Speaker 39:12
yes white hot truth by Danielle Laporte and she also wrote the desire map and all my clients get the desire map is I guess when they started incredible book,

Brandon Handley 39:21
right and I saw you had in your picture untethered soul. So you’re Michael singer fan right? Um Have you thought Have you read the surrender experiment?

Unknown Speaker 39:31
I haven’t,

Brandon Handley 39:32
should I? It’s interesting. It’s actually changed me and just like his his whole concept of it right? is you know, and I actually interviewed this guy named Greg Bernstein. He’s like a shaman, you know, God doing vortex tours in Hawaii, and he’s much one that I’m not doing any justice. But uh, you know, he, he talks about it too. We talk about la right and we also kind of talk about the constant Have you already have limiting beliefs? Even your most unlimited thought of what you want is pretty limited, right? We think the box is huge, right? But really, we’re playing like and like this, this kind of a pixel of it, as it were. So who am I? To go tell the universe what’s best for me? Right? And so, Michael singer kind of does it in this way where he says, I’m pretty sure the universe wants what’s best for me, but like, even more than I could ever imagine, so I’m just gonna surrender to what the universe has offer. Right? And I was like, I was like, it’s pretty potent bro. That’s pretty it’s pretty, it’s pretty big. Right? And then like, his whole story is is pretty interesting. But just like that, that that kind of idea was like, All right. So I wasn’t I wasn’t sure if you would, you’d read that one what um, you know, so you’re doing the cards. What is something that else is kind of like just radically changed your whole life, you know, spiritual journey. or anything that you’re doing? What is a book a movie? A song, poem? Whatever.

Unknown Speaker 41:06
Yeah, well I’m gonna have that book to my list because I really enjoy that and think I would really really love that so you know what I’m gonna throw this one in there this is probably not what you’re expecting doesn’t probably didn’t sound spiritual it is but just joy and having fun like having so much fun I think spirituality can get so serious you know I’m some meditation is so important getting on my mind doing my yoga practices, but sometimes you just need to go like have a drink with a friend or you know, go do something fun for yourself. So for me, I bought a surfboard recently I used to surf in California. And you know, my commitment is just to make sure that I’m at the beach and then I’m surfing and just really honestly like living a life that I want to live so I’m going to throw in there just fun.

Brandon Handley 41:48
No, I love it. I love it And listen, it’s actually in the word enlightenment right light, be light, right like just kind of doesn’t say and heavy man doesn’t say like, you know, and German and like, carry all this heavy shit around with you and be stoic. And so it gets a bad rap too. But I love it though. So no joy. And I like that you use joy over, you know, happiness. I think joy is more sustained. And you know, more recently I heard the definition of happiness is completely external is literally based on happenstance. So the things that are your around and your circumstances, right, I think that joy is something more innate that you can control. So I’ll take it. I’ll take it. What? Yeah, what would you say? What would you say that we haven’t kind of hit on something that you would share?

Unknown Speaker 42:40
Yeah, I mean, I don’t think we talked too much about how transformational meditation is, I know that you meditate. I think what’s really interesting, you know, I’m, I’m a pretty, you know, woowoo spiritual person. But I do also think that research is important and there’s so much research behind mindfulness meditation, the practice of meditation that I always And follow is mindfulness meditation. I completed Jon Kabat Zinn’s Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course, through Thomas Jefferson University and it was life changing. You know, bringing mindfulness into your day can be so helpful to help you to access what’s really going on. And you know, we both talked about the importance of awareness, right. So getting aware of what’s going on through mindfulness is very helpful.

Brandon Handley 43:26
You on your podcast, you have a really nice way of kind of putting, like mindfulness and meditation you feel free to share that here, right? Like, it’s not necessarily that your mind won’t be distracted it instead it will, is to bring it back. So share a little bit of that.

Unknown Speaker 43:42
Yeah, I see mindfulness and meditation as a training ground. So it’s literally like me going into training and I schedule it in and I’m like, Alright, this is where I train my mind because what happens in that space lasts. Like I said, there’s a lot of research around it, but the benefits of meditation last. So for me, I see it as a training. Round. And just like anything that you’re training and it takes practice, and it’s never going to be to a point where your mind is silent again, bring you back to we’re human. But it’s about the relationship that you have with your thoughts. So you’ll you know, be meditating, your thoughts come up, what is your relationship to them? And what are they showing you and maybe need to go off of the anchor of your breath, if that’s what it is, if your anchors your inhale and your exhale, and your body speaking to you and it’s like pain or uncomfortability or have this thought, you know, listen to me, then it’s kind of working with that and being like, yeah, body Yes, mind. Yes, divine guidance. What are you trying to show me? And that’s really where I explore myself and and then also ask for spiritual guidance to

Brandon Handley 44:42
follow that. Yeah, you’re right. We didn’t want to talk about too much. Meditation. The one thing that I learned through meditation, and he talked about unconditional love, right, which to me is kind of synonymous with don’t judge like non judgement, right? You’re paying attention to your body, but you’re not judging it, right? It’s like, hey, there’s it’s acknowledgment. But it’s not giving it a good or a bad week, right? Is that what you’re saying?

Unknown Speaker 45:10
Yeah, absolutely. I think through mindfulness comes it actually research has proven that empathy for others and empathy for yourself, which is the loving kindness and the self compassion,

Brandon Handley 45:21
the metta metta meditation, right? And here’s what I love about the metta meditation. We spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves. Yeah, right. And this is like an opportunity even like, I’ll pull out midday and do like a five minute metta meditation, so I can think of some other people and not think about my own shit. Right? And but but because that’s what we do, right? We think about all the stuff that we’ve got going on for ourselves. So if we can take just five minutes, give ourselves one minute in there, like all right, well, this this, if you’re not familiar with meditation, you know, explain the metta meditation real quick for somebody who’s never done it.

Unknown Speaker 45:56
Sure. So yeah, metta meditation is also known as loving kindness meditation. very accessible, you know, on apps or on YouTube, if you’d like I also have on on my website, it will guide you through a very incredible meditation where you are seeing others in front of you and sending them loving and kind words you also go typically back and forth between sending others loving and kind words, and then you’re self loving and kind words. And through that the state of the brain actually changes. And you can see benefits from that very quickly.

Brandon Handley 46:27
Yeah, no, it’s awesome. And I still remember my first rounds of meditation. I did it headspace. And then I didn’t do it for like two weeks. And then I was irritable as hell. And I tracked back I was like, What’s different? What’s what, what what, you know what I mean? Because I hadn’t done it. I was able to track it back to meditation. And I, I’m sure I missed the day here, there, but it’s part of my daily life. So if you’re an irritable Raji son of a bitch, want to try is meditate Where can we send people to go find you on all the things that you’re doing right now?

Unknown Speaker 47:11
I am a connector is I would love to connect to the guys chat more about this stuff. I definitely someone that is on Instagram a lot. You can find me at Marissa rose Nash, and my website is the well code.org. I’m also on Facebook at Marissa rose Nash or the welco by Marie rose, so feel free to reach out I do also offer a free 30 minute solo sessions where we explore limiting belief in one of the nine areas of wellness to help you get unstuck and find a little bit of freedom there.

Brandon Handley 47:43
Awesome. Well, hey, thanks a lot for stopping by today. Glad you took a chance

Transcribed by https://otter.ai