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Krista Xiomara is a writer, blogger, podcast host, poet, and author. Krista lives and thrives in Austin, Texas with her dog Penny Moon and maintains her spiritual practices through the lens of Buddhism. She is committed to raising the greater collective consciousness of the world through her podcast, writings, and speaking engagements. Her first non-fiction book, “The Alchemy of Kindness” focuses on helping individuals move from self-rejection to self-love through transforming their internal dialogue with radical kindness and self-compassion to create and sustain long-term unconditional positive regard for oneself.

Podcast: http://imawakenowwhatpodcast.libsyn.com/

Website: www.iamkristaxiomara.com

Instagram: @iamkristaxiomara @ianwpodcast

Brandon Handley 0:00
321 Hey, there’s spiritual dope. Today I am on with my guest, Krista zetta mata on Ted’s butchered it, but I did my best. She is a writer, a blogger, a podcast host poet and author, Krystal lives and thrives in Austin, Texas with her dog, Penny moon, and maintains her spiritual practices through the lens of Buddhism. She is committed to raising the greater collective consciousness of the world through her podcast, writings and speaking engagements. Her first nonfiction book, the alchemy of kindness focuses on helping individuals move from self rejection, to self love through transforming their internal dialogue with radical kindness and self compassion to create and sustain long term unconditional, positive regard of oneself. Woof, we got through it. So welcome to the podcast. And thanks for being here today.

Krista Xiomara 0:56
Thank you for having me, Brandon.

Brandon Handley 0:59
Absolutely, absolutely. So I always start us off with the idea that spirit the universe speaks through us, right? There’s this inherent message that’s coming through us today, specifically through you, that is for somebody who’s listening. What is that message?

Krista Xiomara 1:23
I think for me, the message is always about homecoming to ourselves. Because we are living in a world that is constantly taking us away from ourselves and asking us to be something other than ourselves. And so I think in the vein of my book, my podcast, my own journey, it all comes back to I really, truly believe that the path to enlightenment is the path of self love and self return to oneself. I think there’s no higher purpose we all have in this life, except for returning to ourselves so that we might love and greet the world from a very different place than it usually asks us to.

Brandon Handley 2:16
That’s a fantastic message. It really is what it is. And you know, of course, the first thing that jumps out to someone that’s not in this is I mean, look, even for myself, I’d run around and and she told me years ago, that you had to go on a journey to find yourself and be like, Well, you’re right there. Where do you need to go? Right. So what do you mean by you know, there’s that I love it. What says but what is what do you mean by this journey to ourselves, return to oneself within that?

Krista Xiomara 2:45
Yeah, so I, I referenced in my book, and in the podcast, oftentimes this extended metaphor that I like to call the puzzle. And it’s this idea that we come into this world as a fully formed puzzle. And we get thrown into our families and society and to relationship with other people. And immediately when we land in our family, our family starts to take some of the puzzle pieces out to match with their puzzle pieces. Sometimes they don’t like the way your puzzle pieces look. So they they chuck them. And when you grow into adulthood, you will look into the mirror. And you will see that not only are you missing puzzle pieces, but your own pieces are disorganized and out of place. And my podcasts that centers around the idea of personal development and spirituality, which inevitably, continually cross over one another. If you go on either of those paths, they both cross each other over and in our human experience in coming home to ourselves. Part of that homecoming is about going and finding our puzzle pieces that were chucked out the window, finding puzzle pieces that that actually make a better mosaic of what we actually landed in in this life, and then putting ourselves back together as our authentic, beautiful whole selves. Because we arrived here hole, and the world tells us we’re not that tells us we’re broken. It tells us we’re damaged. It tells us we’re not good enough. It tells us we’re not thin enough. But we land literally in this human form as these beautiful whole human creatures. And to me, enlightenment in this age is about ascending beyond our current culture, and living so at peace with ourselves that we create piece around us.

Brandon Handley 4:54
That’s great. So when you talk about these puzzle pieces, and you’re telling the story, I always think about Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the King’s Men, right? And so it’s kind of similar, right? Like you’re the only one that can put all your pieces back together. Right? You’re the only one that recognizes even your own pieces. Right? And you also are the only one that has capability to recognize that this this, this picture is complete.

Krista Xiomara 5:19
Exactly. Right. Right.

Brandon Handley 5:22
Yeah. So. So let’s talk for a second on on your podcast. I’m so jealous of the name of the podcast. I really am. It’s so simple. But it’s an it’s so but it’s so perfect. What’s the name of your podcast?

Krista Xiomara 5:36
The podcast is called I’m awake. Now what?

Brandon Handley 5:39
Man is genius, right? So how did you know first of all, how did you discover that you were a personally awake? How do you define awake? And then what made you decide to be a voice for that?

Krista Xiomara 5:52
Yeah. So as many people who’ve listened to the podcast know that my journey started out, in a very weird offshoot of Catholicism growing up that was based a lot in conformity, fear and submission and denial of my own humanity and my gender, essentially. And towards the end of my 20s, I started to question start questioning a lot of things. And I started to look at the way the church taught, and the way I grew up, and the people that taught me my Christian values, and they weren’t in alignment with each other. There was a lot of contradictions, there was like a lot of loopholes, and I’m very much a type a person, and I very much love rules. And so I one day just realized there are all these rules in the Catholic Church that people are supposed to follow. And maybe people are following them to like 45 to 50%. Like maybe that’s, that’s really giving a lot of credit to a lot of people. And like, what is the point of all of this then? And that was like the first breaking I was like the first cracking open of my conditioning, my cultural and religious conditioning, where I started to question like, Well, what does this all mean? What What do I believe, and I basically pulled myself out of my religious experience, and found myself in a yoga Ashram. And that’s when I realized that in my conditioning, I was asleep. And I would refer to myself as a sleep walker or a sheeple. And then when I came onto the yogic path, I realized that there was this other more inviting, more self led way to be in relationship with yourself, the world and God. And I realized that was an awakened state and awakened a way of being with yourself. In addition to that those people that I met in that yoga ashram, were so at peace, and within so much harmony with themselves, that I knew that’s what I wanted, I could point to it, I could see, that’s exactly how I want to live in myself and live in the world. How do I get that? And so this awakening started to happen. And it was like a decade’s long journey from like about 28. to, to 37 was a huge opening and cracking open of everything. And I, like you immersed myself in a great deal of texts and experiences and ideas and curiosities and curiosity. I think, if anything I’ve learned is a spiritual practice, the practice of curiosity is a spiritual practice, they’re one in the same and you cannot go on this journey, and not be a curious person, because you’ll, you’ll bump you’ll get stuck. So if you don’t have curiosity as your lens for a lot of this, you’ll get stuck. And so I knew that when I got to the other end, I love podcasts, I love radio, I love all of that. I knew when I got to the opposite end of it, and I had matured into a place of my own homecoming spiritually, that I wanted to create a system and a community where people could go and listen to like your story and other people’s story of like, how are they navigating this awakening, which is very disorienting, very cumbersome, very scary, because you’ve got a dress like the light and the dark parts. And so my podcast was birthed in this idea of like, you wake up, and now what do you do?

Brandon Handley 9:42
And it’s so so true. It’s so disorienting, even even right from the onset. I think what you said there was, we do recognize that in you know, your your, your place of faith and religion, that just about 40% of the people They’re not following the rules. So why am I trying so hard at it right is my guess because you said your type a right? You’re like, why am I trying so hard? Why am I putting all my effort into this? And these guys are getting away with 40% something’s something’s not lining up. So and then and then, you know, that begins to kind of crack the veil, right? That begins to up against to say, Well, if that wasn’t right, man, because you probably based sounds like you base quite a bit off of that, right? Or at least from that space. And now there’s now everything’s just kind of flying off. Right? That’s the whole the whole, you know, well, Jesus, the Wizard of Oz, right, the man behind the man behind the curtain curtain. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, what you’re saying to me, too, is really, really reminds me of the Alan Watts. Knew, and I know, fans of Alan Watts, right? So it reminds me of like, when he’s talking about the monks in Zen Buddhism, when they would go up to the samurai eyes, right? And the samurai is bialik I don’t know what Samurai is do but they, you know, they do their Samurai thing. And then the monk shows like no fear because he’s a total peace with himself. Right? He’s like, go ahead, I’m good. Do what you got to do. But and, and and then the samurai sees, you know, kind of what you saw these people are so at peace. So it like they have something and it’s, it’s nearly palatable, right? You can almost touch it.

Krista Xiomara 11:25
Yes.

Brandon Handley 11:25
And you’re like, you’re like, I want some of that.

Unknown Speaker 11:29
Mm hmm.

Brandon Handley 11:29
Right. And so that’s that’s kind of what I’m hearing you say right. But uh, if you know, so how did you decide to head in you What made you go to like yoga and an ashram? Right, because that’s a, that’s a pretty big leap from from from Catholicism.

Krista Xiomara 11:47
It’s a huge, it’s a huge leap. I read and this is going to be this is the cheesiest part of my whole story, but it’s so it I can’t deny it. It’s everywhere. I’ve said it multiple times. But I had read Liz Gilbert’s Eat, Pray Love. I know. You just posted an Elizabeth Gilbert quote today. I love her. She’s everything to me. To me. She’s like my, my female Jesus on this earth. She’s so honest and transparent. And after I read her book, I was like, if she can figure out her life, and then yogic ashram, I think I can too. And she was right, because it’s the source. It’s so old. It’s so ancient. It’s so tied to the truth of what we are, beyond our current civilization. They have all of the wisdom there and their texts. So I landed in that I luckily had that yogic ashram in this tiny town of Spokane, of all places, Spokane, Washington.

Brandon Handley 12:49
Yeah, that’s, you know, it’s funny, because that’s my, my, I spent a summer up there. Growing up, it is it is tiny. Like you said,

Krista Xiomara 12:59
there’s like 200,000 people there something at the time, but yeah, and so then that led me again, like, curiosity became my guiding light. So the SWAMI who created that ashram there, Swami shivananda, Radha, this beautiful German Swami who is now passed on, but she had a prolific writing career. So I read all her books. And then I’m very much a root cause kind of person. I work in quality management systems in my regular life. And so when I want to understand something, I have to get to the base of it. And so once I dipped into the yogic ashram, which was based in Hinduism, that kind of led me down the path of Buddhism and Zen and Sufi ism, and Islam and Judaism. And then I realized I need to really understand these other religions and philosophies. And I really got into stoicism with Marcus Aurelius. And of course, then you go into the spiritual side, which is like all of the beautiful teachers we’ve had, like Alan Watts, and Wayne Dyer, and Michael Dooley, all these people have done such massive work and you just realize they’re all saying the same thing, which is, you are God God is you live a life that is honest and pure and of service of others. And that’s all you have to do and show up in this world as

Brandon Handley 14:32
so how are you accepting yourself as you know, God, right, I think that that’s definitely been one of the bigger stumbling blocks, right? Because we also, we, you know, Westerners, we’ve got like this, you know, one concept of God, right? And then Hinduism and Eastern and other spiritualities have this other concept of Gods so when you say that, we’re all God, what is your concept of that and how do you sleep at night with that? Right, like, I mean, cuz that’s, that’s definitely a challenge because, um, you know, I can tell you just from my own practice I can I can do like great meditations and I’ll be like, I can get myself to like love. But I can’t, you know, sometimes I had that struggle with, you know, seeing myself as God, right? Like I can be I am love. Right? But then I’m like I am God. I’m like, Hey, wait a second, buddy, what do you think in there? Right? So just walk me through that? Because I’d be curious to hear what that sounds like it looks like for you?

Krista Xiomara 15:29
Well, yeah, it’s interesting that you bring that up, I would say the thing, where I’ve shaken out in my relationship with God, which is too small of a word for what created us, I think. And I don’t think it’s one person. But one of the things that I, I came to terms with on my journey to is like, in Catholicism, and a lot of the Abrahamic religions, and even some of the Eastern ones, there’s this idea that God exists wholly in perfection, and that divinity equates perfection. But if you look around the world, if if a god or gods created us, there are so many imperfections in this world that make it absolutely beautiful. You can walk into a forest, like right now I can see outside of my house is the greenbelt here in Austin, which is like our, our forest, and it’s untamed, and it’s wild. And it’s, you know, it’s not perfect, and we’re not perfect. And that means that the thing that created me is also imperfect, and I’m comfortable knowing that it’s probably still evolving to, and we’re evolving together. And that wisdom that exists in me to understand that helps me connect to my own divinity and remove that disconnection that I grew up with that said, like, God is in this place, and God can only be accessed through these people. And God is only available to X, Y, and Z. But I think we are born with a god shaped portion of our of God in our body and in our soul, and in our energy that circulates us as human beings. And it’s a matter of recognizing that in ourselves. It’s, it’s not that you’re better than anyone if you know that you have God within you or that God is something you know, unattainable. We all have it. And I think the manifestation of understanding that God is within you, is when you act in kindness and compassion and humility to other people. Because that’s, that’s literally God working through you, that’s your own divinity, that the part of you that is God is coming forward. And it’s manifesting as those actions as this podcast. As of the way you help people as a coach Brandon, like, that’s, that’s you and God, that’s like you guys co creating, it’s this beautiful co creation that we all get to be a part of that has been denied, especially in the Western world, because it’s built on these Abrahamic religions and say, no Gods this other thing, but it’s not.

Brandon Handley 18:15
Fair enough. Fair enough. You know, I 100% agree with all all what you’re saying. And the one thing I would say, though, is I was recently introduced to a new definition of the word perfect. Meaning that you don’t need anything else. That’s all it means. Right? So actually, if you go to sleep tonight, Crystal, Do you need anything else? done today? You’re perfect. Today, the world you live in is perfect. Mm hmm. Right. I mean, that forest over there, it doesn’t need anything else today to be that forest, does it? Now it’s a perfect forest. Right, you know, so somebody had introduced it and just said that that was like the old, you know, way back when that’s what that word meant, like, you don’t need anything else. And if that’s if that’s the definition of perfect, then there’s a lot of us that are perfect, that don’t think that we are right, therefore we keep ourselves from saying, Man, I can’t access God, because last time, you should see me last week, that wasn’t cool. Right? Or like, you know, they’ve got all these things that that make them think that they’re being kept away from God. Right? The only thing that’s keeping them away from that is themselves, right?

Krista Xiomara 19:26
That’s exactly right. Right.

Brandon Handley 19:28
Yeah. And to your point today, it doesn’t make somebody better or worse to say, I’m connected to God. Right. I’m divine. You know, that’s, that’s basically it boils down to a choice. Is that fair to say?

Krista Xiomara 19:43
Well, yeah, and I would say the when if if somebody is saying that, that should raise a lot of alarm bells in your mind, if they’re creating that disconnection to you from them because they have a closer connection to God than you should run for the hills.

Brandon Handley 20:02
No good can come to that. That’s what that’s like the Crusades. Right. So, you know, so what made you decide to be the voice though, you know by by taking it and you know, by literally opening up you know their voice and bringing this to bringing us to the greater masses a and then be like, talk about stuffing into that like What gave you the confidence to be that person.

Krista Xiomara 20:24
Um, I mean, I’m not know if it was a matter of like confidence more than the desire to help. So like a lot of my motivations as an individual comes from the desire to alleviate other people’s suffering, whether that’s through community through the podcast through holding space for them to process things, whether it’s just been friendship with somebody, so they don’t feel alone. The my motivation was that I know there’s people that need to hear these things. And I would say the best example of that was the summer when I finally put into one conglomerated space, the journey of me leaving my religion of origin, making sense of all of that trauma, releasing it and coming home to myself. And I can’t tell you how much I’ve heard from people all over the world about how liberating it was to have somebody regurgitate that life experience that they had gone through, and that they were either at the beginning, the two middle parts or the end, and feeling like me, too. And I think when we do this work, like and you do your spiritual dope, podcast on your coaching and stuff, I don’t think there’s any deeper modality of love that we can do for each other than to see and hear each other. And I think what’s funny about the world we live in now is social media is exactly that. It’s this deep seated desire to be seen and to be heard, and to feel like you matter in this world. And I think us on the spiritual path. Our goal and creating this content is to also be a mirror to the people who are in the process of it all. Because we need each other and we need each other’s experiences and wisdom and honesty and integrity. To help us through this this journey. We can’t do it alone.

Brandon Handley 22:40
Yes, so how many? You know, when you open it up? Was there any fear? Was there any family or friends? were surprised or shocked by about kind of what you were doing in that space? How about your co workers, right? Like, I mean, is this something that your your, you know, your day job, right, you’ve got the day jobs, that’s something that you know, you share with openly there? Or is this kind of like, you go to work today is Christa. You know, I’m here working today, and then you come come home at night, and you’re like, let’s finish delivery at some people. Right?

Krista Xiomara 23:18
Yeah. Well, it’s funny, just to that point, and then I’ll answer your question is one of the things that was, was very much a bone of contention in my own life when I was in my religious upbringing and still in the church of origin was, I did feel like they’re like I had a dichotomy. There was like work Krista and then there was like, religious Krista and sometimes religious Krista could come out and sometimes only work Krista could come out or Krista in her marriage or Krista with her friends, or what not. And the thing that has been the most liberating on this path is that I the just the the ability to show up as yourself everywhere all the time is more peace than I could have ever asked for in my life. And so if people ask me about my podcast, or I’ll tell people about it and my work life, but more than anything, what has changed about diet, you know, the duality of Christa, old Krista and new Krista is that my spiritual practices come into my work life and so I’m just as compassionate and kind and, you know, harmonious with my co workers who don’t know anything about me. There’s a lot of them who don’t have never met me. I work remotely no matter what, because of COVID but, but I show up like that to them the way I show up to my podcast guests, the way I show up to my family, that I’m in relationship with my friends, and that’s the thing that has changed more than anything. So I do tell people about it. Mostly my family doesn’t really care, they don’t really even understand what it is like they’re so in their own world and in their own religious experience, still that they don’t really get it, they don’t understand that it’s a thing that it’s grown, that it has a lot of reach that people are super interested in it. So like, there’s a small subset of people I get to really celebrate my podcast with like, you are one of them. And you know, the other people in my life, like, everyone else could care less and

Brandon Handley 25:34
less interesting, though, you know, it’s all it’s always interesting to hear, you know, how you kind of charge for arthritis. What I’m hearing, you say, though, too, is, at some point, there was a merger of the two of us, or maybe there was a, or maybe the you left behind all of all of this, and you’re like, this is all I’m going to be, you know, this is who I am. Now, this, this is what this looks like, to me about like that decision? Because I think that’s pretty interesting.

Krista Xiomara 26:01
Yeah, I mean, I think that our society asks that of us, our society asks us, all of us, men, women, children, mothers, fathers, to show up in these really specific ways. And even the people that we have relationships with, sometimes don’t even want to see all of us. And so in my book of the book, that I’m writing, the alchemy of kindness, I say in there multiple times that it’s like an it’s like an act of bravery, to never turn against yourself to love yourself, no matter what you do, because we all make mistakes where, you know, I don’t always show up compassionately. Although like, I wish I could I wish I that would be like every day of my existence. But I still fail in that in interactions and certain things like that. So for me, thinking about that, that whole idea of coming home to yourself and having that, that, basically, it’s like if you think about it visually, like maybe you’re projecting out these different kind of what are they called, like emojis or I’m not, I can’t think of the word right now. But you’ve got these projections of yourself in the world. And in this journey, what we do is we like suck it all in and we become one, in and of ourselves. Because when I was living in that other place, I was very much at war with myself, I was at war with my ideals. I was at war with my words and my mind and everything. And being able to bring in all those parts of ourselves those avatars, that’s what I was trying to say, you know, we have these avatars of like, podcast, Brandon, and podcasts, or Brandon father, and all these things, these avatars, but we’re really the central core, we’re the bean and bringing it like bringing those avatars in as part of the work on this path. Because to live authentically and truly, in yourself is, is I think, again, the work that we have to do here because our society has become something very wild and different. And authenticity, authenticity and wholeness is not always wanted.

Brandon Handley 28:23
So, the one thing that I see out there a lot, and you know, again, I agree, I agree with everything you’re saying. The one thing I see out there a lot is is this idea of being the be your authentic self.

Krista Xiomara 28:36
Yeah. The bumper sticker.

Brandon Handley 28:38
Yeah, I haven’t seen it. But I haven’t seen a bumper sticker since March. Um, the the idea is, though, whoo, and what is your authentic self, and what you’re describing is like, stop, stop, stop, like projecting all of what you think everybody, you think what everybody wants to see. And pull that all back in. And really sit with yourself. Right. And, and, and, and that’s it. That’s just the one, the one self that that needs to happen. And that is your authentic self. And you’ll be able to know and feel your authentic self when every day doesn’t suck anymore.

Krista Xiomara 29:18
And when you’re not questioning everything, right, you know, you’re not in alignment with yourself. If you don’t know what you want, if you let people make decisions for you, if you feel uncomfortable, even facing yourself. Those are like the big red flags, that you’re not living in authenticity with yourself and that you are not in alignment with your core being. And I think a lot of people go on this spiritual journey. And that’s the outcome. The outcome is them coming home to themselves. A lot of the spiritual other work is healing and releasing stuff that no longer serves you and, and and finding your true self. Honestly, I’m sorry, I’m beating this To a dead horse, but it’s how I feel this journey is is. That is the purpose that, like all of us doing this work is like if we love ourselves, and this is a universal truth that I hated hearing, and I didn’t know it was true, I had to hear like 5000 times. But if we love ourselves, and we’re at harmony with ourselves, and we’re at peace with ourselves, and we are authentically in alignment with ourselves, the world aligns itself as well, because when we show up authentically, then we allow other people to show up authentically, when we are compassionate with ourselves and other people can give some self compassion to themselves and give themselves a break. Like that’s what it’s all about.

Brandon Handley 30:45
Where do you think you first saw that evidence, right evidence of that concept. And when did it finally click?

Krista Xiomara 30:53
I did say 10 years. At the yogic ashram, honestly, that was the first time where, like, the thing that with the authenticity, to just go back to the story about like, living in these dual places in my religion of origin, there was in the religion of origin, there was very much this idea of Do as I say, not as I do. And then going into the yogic ashram and watching people match up their actions with their words. And I was like, Oh, these people are living it. They’re living their true, honest, transparent, authentic selves. And I knew that that’s what I wanted, I didn’t know that the outcome would be this huge homecoming at all, I had no idea that that would happen. I just knew I didn’t want to be in conflict with myself anymore. And I felt very conflicted in my religious experience. Not because necessarily, even I wasn’t living up to the rules. But the goalposts was always moving. If we want to talk back again about the God thing. It was like, you know, I, I,

Unknown Speaker 32:05
I,

Krista Xiomara 32:06
you know, I was abstinent I didn’t do drugs, I didn’t, you know, drink, I didn’t curse, and I still wasn’t good enough for God, I still wasn’t good enough for my church, not you know, the goalpost just kept moving. And then you I went to the yoga ashram, and I’m like, No, these people, they know what they’re doing.

Brandon Handley 32:27
That’s hilarious. You know, I was never none of those things. I probably would have been incinerated going in. And that’s always what I kind of thought. Like, they’re not they don’t want any of this. Um, you know, I love what you’re saying there, you see that these people are actually living their truth. And you know, you’re living your truth now. And then, you know, I like to hear how we’ll just call it like the universe has opened up for you, because your podcast looks like you’ve had, you know, just a great run, right? You’ve had a great run, you’re having great conversations. You’re putting out a book. My guess is you’ve got more behind that. But also sounds to me, like you’ve found a way to and I’m just guessing here, you found a way to like, kind of surrender to it and let it like, be organic.

Unknown Speaker 33:19
Mm hmm.

Unknown Speaker 33:21
That’s about that.

Krista Xiomara 33:22
Yeah. I mean, if we want to talk technically about the podcast, like, like anybody else, I started, I don’t know what the hell I was doing. And I had to learn how to edit. And all of that stuff. I just had an idea that I wanted to put this information out, and I just needed to find a way to do it. And I had to figure out all of those things. And what I, I recently did an interview with a gal about how to start a podcast and one of my advice for somebody was just go in knowing that it’s gonna evolve. And that’s part of the process instead of being stuck in this like, box. So my first two seasons, I didn’t know what I was doing. I changed the format a couple times, I changed the way it was, you know, presented, I changed my branding, and I did a bunch of things. Like, I didn’t know what I was doing. And that was okay. And finally, after with a lot of trial and error, like I think our life is supposed to be it’s supposed to be this loving, existence of trial and error, and we don’t get punished when we error. It’s just a learning lesson and we pivot, right? So I pivoted, and I found the right sequence. And I found an audience that resonated with what I was saying, which allowed me to bring bigger guests on because like, the bigger your podcast gets, the more people want to come. And I was just telling a Mona, who, you know, it’s funny to think when I started my podcast, like, every week, like seven people would listen to it and now it’s like, Up to 21,000 people a week. That’s a lot of people listening

Brandon Handley 35:03
does a lot of people. Yeah, not congratulations. That’s fantastic.

Krista Xiomara 35:06
But it was yours. You know, it’s not like that happened overnight. This it has been me just diligently sitting down and saying, I don’t care about the numbers. I don’t care about the monetary compensation, what I care about is being of service to people on the path who need help. And I’m going to show up, and this is what I’m going to do, as that’s as simple as I can explain it.

Brandon Handley 35:30
No, I mean, that’s perfect, right. But again, so thank you for that. What I’m looking for is just the path opening up, right? And it sounds to me again, like you’ve like, again, you’ve kind of surrendered, right? You’re not forcing something. You’re not saying hey, you didn’t come up and be like, Alright, well, 1231 2018, I’m looking for, like 75,000 downloads and that should that be a great year, right? Instead, you said, Hey, this neat, I need to do this, this is something I’m doing. This is something that I’m doing as much for me as for anybody else, I’m looking to be of service. I’m not looking for anything other than that, like you’re you’re doing it in an altruistic nature, right?

Krista Xiomara 36:16
Mm hmm.

Brandon Handley 36:17
But the idea is that once you kind of move with your intention with your purpose, and you know, you’re in full alignment, the idea is that the universe opens up for you. Have you found that to be true for yourself?

Krista Xiomara 36:30
Yeah. And that’s one of the universal truths. I know, you and I have talked about this already that it is true. I just think that when you go in, honestly, and you ask to co create with the universe, like, honestly, things just fall into place. And there’s no easier way to say it is that like, when I wanted to do the podcast, I was actually telling my therapist about it. And she told me about this guy who happened to produce his own podcast, and he could help me and he helped me and tell me get it off the ground. And it was like, in the alchemist, where Paulo Coelho quotecolo, says, you know, like, the universe will conspire to bring everything to your plate. And it, it really is true, I think, the thing that I would leave the audience with is that you just have to continue to make actionable steps and show up and sometimes your steps are in the wrong direction. But the universe will course correct for you, it’ll let you know you’re on the wrong path. And you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. And this idea of the surrender, is that I have this idea, but I’m not tied to it. And that’s where the surrender comes in. So I had this podcast idea, and I thought I wanted it to be this thing. And I let it evolve and become something that it is today and have had opportunities because of it. In that way, is a large surrender, because I let it do what it needs to do. And I’m just kind of the conduit at the end of the day. Does that answer it?

Brandon Handley 38:11
It does? Yep. I mean, that. Nailed it. So that I mean, that’s the space though. And then I think that how would you tell someone that you recognize that you’re a conduit?

Krista Xiomara 38:25
Hmm. That’s a really hard one. I would say first go read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle Lee, and help you, you have to do I think anybody This is just a generalization, I think if you want to become a conduit, and a true co creator with divinity, you have to face the, I guess, the idea that you have an ego. And you have to kind of fight with your ego until your ego takes a step back. Because a lot of work can be done from the ego. And a lot can come from the ego. But where that becomes a problem is I think, if you’re working egoic Lee, it takes you out of that alignment, and that co creation, and then you start to have, you know, obstacles or things don’t kind of flow as easily. I’ve seen that too. And I’ve, I’ve had to fight with my own ego all the time, you know, throughout this whole process and to continue to recognize when it’s trying to push itself forward when really the universe is asking me to show up in a very different way. So I would say start there. And then just know and trust like I do say this in my book, too. It’s the it’s in the introduction and it’s the I say that When I went on the spiritual journey, there were two things that I learned. And the first one is that when you go on a journey, whether it’s like physical or spiritual, there are proverbial, you know, twists and turns and things you cannot anticipate you have to be ready for that. But the second thing that you learn on this journey, if you stay open, is that the universe is literally there to bring you the tools, the people, the experiences, anything, you need to be able to become the conduit to your own life journey, and show up in a way that resonates with people. So that we can all help each other.

Brandon Handley 40:40
Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. I mean, what I’m what I think I hear you say that, too, is uh, you know, egos, the guy that says, you know, ego egos the voice inside you saying, I’m doing this, this is me, watch what I can do. Right. And whereas the conduit says, I have the resources of the universe, and it’s just flowing through me, I literally wrote down this morning, I wrote down this morning, the idea that I’m, from a humanity standpoint, if I view myself as strictly human, then all I’m left with his, you know, my human capabilities, and the things of this world, right now, if I open myself up to being divine, or of this universe changes, right? I mean, and so there’s nothing you can’t do. Right? And I don’t have to be and I’m not the one doing it. Right. And you know, so I think that’s what I’m hearing you say, right, and kind of break in and having that breakthrough. And then looking for evidence of that, right? I think that that’s really important. Right? So to set your intention to say that I want to become a conduit, here’s, you know, you’re talking about breaking through the egoic structure, and then saying, you know, now, where am I seeing it? Right? How am I seeing it? And I think that that comes from setting an intention and not acting on it right forcefully in such a way that to your point, like you do need to take action, right, there needs to be some type of whatever move to go get it. This is, you know, the call of, Hey, this is the hero’s call type thing, you know, you’re called to go do this thing. I’m not gonna do it. And so nothing’s gonna happen then, right? There is no transformation, there is no transition. If you’re called hero’s calling, like, Alright, I’m gonna go do it. And then you’re met with obstacles, but like, right behind that obstacles, like the thing like shut up? Right? All I had to do was pick up that rock. That’s crazy.

Krista Xiomara 42:34
Yeah. And I would say that a prayer that has become like, a mantra to me is, I will literally say to the universe, like, I want to do this thing. And I don’t know if it’s right. But I’m gonna take these steps. And I’ll just wait for you to answer. And that’s literally what I do when I want to do something new. Or I want to venture out into something else, or write a book. I just say, I don’t know if this is right, this is what’s in my heart. And I need you to tell me if I’m on the wrong track, and I’ve never been misled. It’s never it’s, it’s it’s either shut doors, or open doors. And that’s how I know. And it’s like, you know, we have all of these other senses that we can tap into from our own divinity that allows us the wisdom to know what’s the next right step every time.

Brandon Handley 43:28
That’s awesome. That’s a great one. That’s a great one. So your book is coming out when when can we expect your book,

Krista Xiomara 43:35
ah, this has been like the biggest labor of love that I’ve ever had in my life. It’s taken me two years to finish this book. And I’m still not even done yet. I’m I’m My goal is to get it done by December and have it out. And in mid March is the goal to after it goes to the drafts and the covers and all of that. But my, I think also to let me just back it up for a second what I’ve learned on this, this journey, as well, and having the podcast is that a lot of people have different entry points into spirituality, how we find it some for some people, it’s addiction for some people, it’s trauma for some people, it’s the religious experience for some people, it’s, you know, no religious experience, but we all have these entry points, but we all come together at some point our experiences kind of merge at some point. But the the, the conflict that I was talking about earlier that can that was contained in my mind was also this deep seated self hatred. And that was my entry point. And because I only needed peace, and I didn’t need peace with the world, I needed peace with myself cuz I hated myself. I hated everything about me. I hated myself to the core. And it’s like one of those things that people never want to talk about. But it was a it was a very big struggle of mine. And it was my entry point. into leaving my religion that I had an inclination that it was a contributing factor to my self hatred. But I didn’t quite know if it was. And so the journey of the alchemy of kindness, the book is about, like, traversing my past to understand where did the separation happen, that I started to hate myself, because I certainly wasn’t born hating myself. I be and then I did. And then unraveling the tools that I picked up, that helped me reverse that self hatred, and then the practices and the daily living, that allows me to stay in congruence with myself and in love with myself in an authentic way, not just like, Oh, I love myself. Not like that, like truly like, yeah, like, I don’t say, a harmful word about myself, don’t criticize myself, all those things. And so this book, I knew, like I did with the podcast, I knew that once I got through that whole thing, I really wanted to create a roadmap for people to unravel their self hatred, because it is a true epidemic in our society. And the, you know, the most hardest part of self hatred is is annihilation. And so, you know, I had a couple of times where I had suicidal attempts with my life. And because I was just like, I cannot stand myself, like, I have ruined everything. I’m like, an embarrassment to my family, and all of these things. And my self hatred took me all the way up to annihilation, like it does with a lot of people. But there’s another way, you know, there’s another way and the other way is that you’re fine. And you’re great. Just The Way You Are you just have been told you aren’t.

Brandon Handley 46:56
No, that’s powerful. That’s powerful. Would you look at that, as you know, hatred is a gateway or addressing your pain as a gateway? How would you? How would you kind of determine to find that?

Krista Xiomara 47:08
Well, so for me for my experience, and I think it can be both and I’m guessing, for me, it was that I was in so much pain with my own internal conflict, like not being able to look at myself in the mirror for very long, or not being able to be in relationship with people and feel like they didn’t like me, because I didn’t like me. Like, I just assumed everybody hated me, because I hated myself to know. And the the pain of that was like, okay, there’s something really traumatic living here, that I have to address now. And what is that, and I didn’t do it on my own, which I say in the book, you know, I definitely had to go to therapy, I had to have a lot of spiritual experiences that helped me, come home to myself. And then the, the longevity of my self love really came into focus when I found Buddhism, because Buddhism is truly a homecoming. It’s like, go and be by yourself, and sit with yourself, and be okay with everything that is, but be okay with yourself. That was like the most eye opening teaching I could have received is what the Buddha did in his life. And I was like, Oh, this is how I’m supposed to exist within myself, then I can attain that, and I’m gonna live it and practice it until it’s in, like every molecule of my body. Right? So yeah,

Brandon Handley 48:46
just just be that. I love that. So you said, you mentioned your spiritual experiences a couple of times do you have like one or two that you could, you know, specifically point to as a specific spiritual experience?

Krista Xiomara 49:01
Like, do you mean through the self that allowed me to create some some self healing in this vein of the book or some are just like spiritual experiences

Brandon Handley 49:11
that yeah, I mean, you pointed to, you know, you pointed to like, along the way, having some spiritual experiences and you know, what does that mean? And what is one that might be specific?

Unknown Speaker 49:20
Mmm hmm.

Krista Xiomara 49:26
Let me think, um, I think one of the, one of the most significant spiritual experiences I had was, when I was in this really, I’ve had like, a couple dark nights of the soul. I would say, I think we all do in our life because it’s hard to navigate humanity being human. But in one particular one, it was up towards the beginning of my spiritual journey. And I don’t know why I looked it up. But I looked up like spiritual cleansing or healing or something. And I found out about Reiki for the first time. I’m, it’s an energy healing modality. And I went on and I looked at all of these people online, and I started to look at their faces. And I was like, Hmm, I could send something about each person’s, you know, you look at pictures, and you can really kind of get a sense of the person’s own energy. And I landed on this girl named Chelsea. And she is like this petite, tiny, little white, white light Angel, very creature that I don’t even think she’s human is what I’ve just decided. And she, I went to her. And I just was like, I feel like I have a great deal of dark energy within me. I’ve done therapy, I’ve gone on spiritual retreats, and there’s just this thing that’s stuck. And I don’t know how to get it out. And my curiosity led me here, can we work together, and she gave me my first Reiki healing that I had ever had. And I literally feel like she physically pulled out this darkness from my body, and liberated whatever that part was of me. And I saw her for a handful of more, have more sessions. But I think she truly was the person that I just think she did her work, so I could do my work. And I needed to go see her. And that was, that changed me I was forever changed by this very healing process that I didn’t even understand that at the time, I didn’t know anything about Reiki, I didn’t know how it worked. I didn’t understand it. And it was really bizarre going through it the first time. And but also, just like, this beautiful experience that truly, I think, went beyond the natural world of something I could never understand, I still I still struggle to understand how it all works, and how it’s all connected. But that was a really big experience that helped me, it was a spiritual tool I took on the way to back to myself.

Brandon Handley 52:24
That’s powerful. I mean, if you’ve got all that darkness, you know, caught up in Saudi and somebody quite literally able to rip it out of you without I mean, they don’t, they don’t touch you, right, like, I mean, now. This is a this is a you know, and if you can go through that and have that kind of sensation as you leave that place. And, you know, there’s no drugs involved. There’s no like weird things happening outside of that thing. That’s powerful. And that’s, that’s something that resonates.

Krista Xiomara 52:52
And she was powerful. Like, I clearly didn’t even know what was happening or what was going on. And she was so powerful that she was able to do this thing that was set me back on my course and really liberated me. And it was like all those things. It was like the therapy and it was like my spiritual journey and reading books and letting go of my ego and dispelling all the stories I had told about myself. And then I needed this other thing that could help me literally lighten up so I could enlightened because I was stuck. I was truly, truly stuck.

Brandon Handley 53:36
So the real recommendation here is go read Eat, Pray Love. Yes. And this will get you started. Right? Right. And along the way, pick up Chris’s book, which will be out in March of 2021. Right? I mean, you can just set the date, let’s just do it, right. It’s common, it’ll be there. And then, you know, go over and you wish wish was some people go

Krista Xiomara 54:00
check it out. You can just find me on Instagram at IN w podcast, I’m in the process of redoing my website and stuff. And I do have some other projects that are not ready to be spoken about. But there’ll be very exciting in the near future. But Instagrams the best place to catch me for now while I revamp everything.

Brandon Handley 54:20
Okay, so if you’re listening today, then make sure you head on over to spiritual dope or the podcast outline and the link for Chris’s Instagram to the podcasts will be available for you. So Chris, thank you so much for coming on today. And you know, sharing pieces of your journey and how you got there and just spend some time with us today. I think that I think what you shared it out today was super valuable for anybody who’s tuning in. Yeah,

Krista Xiomara 54:45
thank you for having me, Brandon. I really enjoyed our time together.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


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Brandon Handley 0:01
Well, hello, welcome back. We are here on spiritual dope. Brandon Handley with a I’m just playing with video stuff here. Sorry, my bad I got distracted squirrel. Chapter Four, you can’t kill it and it won’t shut up. Yes. I’m sure you’ve tried to go to sleep at night, your mind just won’t shut up and just keep keep going and going and going. Anyways, we are on chapter We’re on chapter four. And we’re at this exercising this exercise of present moment awareness. Again, this is coming out of Sreekumar. Rouse, are you ready to succeed book. And just based on a conversation I had earlier this week with somebody close the organization. As long as I kind of give out information about where this is coming from, then I can use it some as my understanding. So I just want to make sure this is this is not mine, this is coming out straight straight from the book. But I just want to give you a little bit about the exercise. So you know, pick one day to do everything, deliberately and unhurriedly. Like, I made fun of myself, because I was watching a TV show while typing out my outline. So don’t do that. Or let’s say you’re in a meeting, or you’re just talking to someone, put your phone fucking down, put it down, put your phone down, and just hang out for me, right, there’s nothing in the world happening on your phone, right now that you can’t talk to someone just with full attention for a little bit. He also talks a little bit about you know, where it says, do everything deliberately on her lead doesn’t mean do it slow, doesn’t mean slow down, it means like, just do it so that you’re not in a rush, do it without a frantic pace. still recall, you know, one of the things my mom would always be haste makes waste, right? You know, but deliberately and unhurriedly, right, there’s no rush, don’t be rushed. If somebody you know, somebody is like trying to rush you through something, it’s like, they’re asking you to make a mistake. So it’s almost like a guarantee. So you just, you know, don’t react to that state law, I’m gonna do, I’m gonna do my best I’m gonna do these things I’m gonna do with deliberation. And I’m going to do with intention. And I’m not rushed to do this. There’s, we live in like this. things need to be done fast, need to be done quickly. You know, but it’s not, don’t don’t. So do it with intention and deliberation, so firm and deliberate to one step at a time, these are some of the words that he uses in the book, you know, methodical, right, you know, create a method, plan it out. And then you know, kind of follow along with the methodology that you create throughout time as you go through it. Let go of the mental models of how it should be and let go of your idea of what you think the results should be too, which is also pretty cool. So, you know, do do the things with this deliberation and unhurriedly, do these things one step at a time methodically. And then let go of what your idea of what the results should be, you know, you’ve got an intention, set your intention, make that be the thing, but then let go of that. And what you’ll find is that a lot of times when you let go, but the idea those results should be something comes back to you that’s almost greater than you could have imagined possible, which is something that that I’ve seen in my own life, so and then really listened to others. remove yourself from the picture in while they’re talking. Maybe don’t imagine yourself in their place. I don’t know I say that, because that’s what I do, right? Somebody is talking, I’m like, oh, let me My mind is puts me in there. I’m like, that doesn’t work out. So remove yourself from the picture. And just imagine that person in the picture. And that’s pretty powerful as well. So look, here’s the deal. Being able to be 100% to present to all things is certainly not expected. However, if you do try, you will get far more done, which much less stress. And ideally, and once you sample some of these results, you want to do the exercise more often. And again, I’ll tell you, just from experience, it’s not like I’m doing less, by not all tabbing or checking emails or whatever. It I’m still doing this I’m still putting the same amount of effort and energy and all things that I’m doing except for now. It’s more focused

Unknown Speaker 4:52
and intentional,

Brandon Handley 4:54
and it has a better result. And you’ll there’s less stress involved because your login and not all tabbing you’re not trying frantically trying to bat everything away or better thing down or, you know, you’re not the the goalie in hockey net, you’re trying to block all the things coming through. It’s just, it’s just you and the one thing that you’re focused on with, with the full knowledge that you’re being deliberate, you’re being intentional, and you’re, you’re giving space for for that which is right in front of you. So second exercise in this piece, too is a this is a companion exercise is not not necessarily that you have to do it. But it does not replace the first exercise. So it says a, for seven days, eat one meal in complete silence. Pay close attention to the act of eating too slowly, thoughtfully, include all all the details. With your eating, right, the saliva that’s like coming into your mouth your teeth as they cut through the food, like what are the sensations, right? What are the subtle flavors? You know, what about your hunger pangs? When do you get hungry when did and then when do they go away. And then you’ll bring the same level of attention to your drinks as well. And you’ll find you’ll just find yourself that more much more deeply immersed into your experience. And there’s so many studies to that show, if you just kind of eat with full attention you just it’s better for you and her body. So you can do this with your significant other or maybe your children or you know family members if you if you if you’d like but so long as it is done in complete silence to each mouthful 30 times and by that time is your mouse cuz it’s gonna be like weird. And he recommends that hey, you know, do this, especially if you if you have food issues. If food is is one of the things that you’re challenged with, then give it a shot. I can tell you right now these these are both tough, they’re super tough. I haven’t done the the seven days eat one meal please silence I have done the exercise present moment awareness. But we are so we are so distraction oriented, right we are so you know, distraction driven, versus, you know, being present in the moment being there that it’s a challenge. Some common reactions and helpful hints. Look, he says nearly everyone will find it impossible. Be mindful 100% of the time. The thing is, is do not berate yourself, let’s say if you lose your witness, either, right? Don’t Don’t, don’t get upset with yourself, don’t beat yourself up. It’s totally normal. You know, and and, you know, you’re going to lose the witness, you’re going to lose your ability to pay 100% Attention all the time, because again, this is brand new, right? And if you can, he says here, if you can summon the witness a couple dozen times a day, you’re doing very well. I’ll make a recommendation out there, put it on your phone somewhere, make a sticky, figure out some way to remind yourself to summon the witness, I know that I’m not the greatest at it. Again, I’m not going to beat myself up over it. But it’d be nice if I put a reminder for myself and I would see it more often. Right? You will immediately notice you’re less carried away. If you retain if you remain, you remain. You’ll you’ll immediately notice you’re less carried away when you’re going through all this and it’s really it is it’s it’s awesome. Right? The stress levels diminished much greater than you could probably imagine. And then if you can retain the witness in throes of emotion even better look, if you’ve got children, if you’re married, if you’re anybody in the world in 2020 you’re going through some frustrating times you’re you know what frustration is I get frustrated. Sometimes you do act out of out of emotion, right? But if you’ve got this witness, and you do this quick zoom out. It could be in the middle of an argument. I know that this happened that way for me, you do this quick zoom out. And you just look at yourself arguing with somebody over nothing.

makes it so easy. It’s like an immediately you’re like, stop. It’s enough. And you can just just like that. It’s like instantaneously putting out a fire, even if it was like, even if it was as hot as the sun, right instantaneous, just like that, it’s, it’s amazing. If you have a massive resistance to eating mindfully, don’t shove yourself into there, again, forcing yourself to do something that is totally not up, you’re up your alley. That’s okay, you know, just use gentle force no more. And then over time, you know, the resistance will go away, just like anything else. And the more you do just a little bit of that thing, it expands. Over time, you’ll look back and be like, holy shit, look at how far I’ve come. A couple things here. He says, Hey, people, notice that they’re full, long before their plate is empty. benefits, right. And it tends to, you know, sustained weight loss occurs frequently with the eating mindfully exercise. And look, the idea, again, to be mindful at all times, is challenging. And again, you will, you’ll catch yourself, you know, trying to do it all at the same time. And, and trying to imagine, maybe that you’re not doing it as well as you should. Because the chances are, like, I should be an expert at this, if you’ve been trying for like a week or a day, you know, and it’s common, he says to feel overwhelmed, right. And the deal is, if you begin to feel overwhelmed, well, I’m simplify, right and I he gives a really nice tip here is to pick a couple of slots that are no longer than 10 to 15 minutes in duration. And just like with the eating piece, you know, as you become more comfortable, right, with little bits of time, you’ll be able to expand on the amount of time that you are able to be mindful, I don’t believe that anyone is 100% mindful at all times, but you know, look just try your best right and and remember that if you’re just starting this journey that give yourself some grace, right, give yourself some allowance to to grow into yourself. So as your practice grows, your witness will grow stronger. Imagine that you’re in an unsavory area and you’ve got people that come to your door knocking and you’re like they’d knock on the door you open it up you crack it open and they smell like they smell like alcohol marijuana then look man you know you know the area these are guys and gals that you’re like nope, nope, no, thank you, you slammed the door shut you guard that door your life Well, you need to protect your mind with the same intensity that you protect your your overall life and well being. Same story was told to me in a very similar fashion. Imagine you’ve got cancer, right? Imagine you’ve got cancer, don’t you go out and get the best help that you can afford or is even available? Right? Your mind is no different. Your mind is no different when you let it go and waste away. You’ve basically got you know cancer of the mind, you need to tend to that shit you need to need to make sure that you’re very mindful of what you let in what types of media do you allow into your mind? We’re so the leusd by violence and derogatory media, you know, that’ll happen in different types of music, different types of shows different types of videos that we watch. And it’s like, what are these programs really telling you about the how the world really is? Right? And you got to ask yourself these you know, what type of emotional space these these things leave you in? When you’re done watching it? Do you feel relaxed at peace and full of joy and wonder Are you

Unknown Speaker 14:03
hyped

Brandon Handley 14:04
up, strung out breathing fast and like filled with tension? These are questions he says to ask. I think they’re really good ones. Is your forehead furrowed or smooth? Are your muscles tight or relaxed? And you know, it’s a better question is how do you want to feel? And if these programs are making you feel, you know, all jacked up like you’re tense at the end? Is that how you want to feel? Because again, this is this is the stuff that you’re allowing in your life you have control over that. Don’t Don’t think that you don’t see the news? Do you watch the news? I haven’t watched the news and like so long. I can’t tell you just how great I feel about it. I know that there’s plenty of people out there like Hey, you got to be up with current events. Is that the other thing? Do I

Unknown Speaker 14:51
Do you?

Brandon Handley 14:52
How is that serving you?

Unknown Speaker 14:54
All right.

Brandon Handley 14:56
And this year, I mean, look, this year, the news has brought and you know, this level of awareness but it’s also brought this crazy sense of tension to our to our world, right? The focus on COVID Yeah, we need to know about it, but like the the 24 seven, focus on it? What’s it doing for you? Right? How’s that making you feel? Black Lives Matter, you know? How’s that making you feel like What the What’s going on in the world right now we are in such like this. You know, imagine you’ve got a rubber band in your hand. And it’s like the, you know, the big one on broccoli, the big purple one, he stretched it out in the fuckers hard as hell to stretch out anyways. And then like, for some reason, it breaks and snaps your hand and like, fuck manage? Oh, you just get pissed about it. Right? That’s like, that’s like watching the news, you know, the things are going on that they, you know, tend to share or the things that make you say the fuck, right? Like, is our world really like that chance? And the answer is? Yes, it is. There’s that isolated incident that made it on camera. But again, that’s an isolated incident that does need attention. But it doesn’t need to be the thing that is blasting at you 24. Seven. And that, you know, that’s inclusive of just entertainment, where you’re watching people get killed. Murdered means all the time. Is that does that make you feel good, right is that what you want to see is that what you want to go to sleep at night, seeing in your brain and dreaming of? I know I don’t. So sorry to drive that one home. So I love this, I love this quote, It is better to allow yourself to cut is it better to allow yourself to be cut with a sharp knife than to read a wrong thought into your mind that was a Swami Sivananda who is actually used to be a medical doctor as well. Look, your mind is precious can protect it, the witness will hold up a mirror and show you what it is that you are really doing. The knowledge that you you know, you kind of watch yourself in that way in and not attached. Simply observational manner, it will it will produce change all on its own. Right. As you go through, you will build up a lot of momentum. It’s going to take some time to make its way through. And the thing is to when you recognize that your witness is missing. When you recognize that you’re going at this alone, you know, go out find your witness be like Yo bro, where’d you go? What’s up, I’m done persistently. change will happen. And I can tell you, you don’t even have to do it persistently, just any any amount. Even over a short period of time, you will notice a definite difference. And I can also tell you that when you go to like stop it right when you go. You’re no longer doing it. When at any point when you do notice that the witness is missing. You’ll you’ll notice it in a manner that because it’d be like something’s missing. Right? That’s it? Yeah. You’ll notice it. You’ll notice something and be like something’s missing. What is it? And then you’ll remember that as the witness, you’ll remember that is your mindfulness practice. And that’s it guys. That is it from chapter number four. You can’t kill it and it won’t shut up. But you can leverage it. You can leverage it, it can be your friend. That chatter can turn into that seemingly painful antagonizing chatter of like hell, so that motherfucker, you know, you can you can make go away and you can convert that into your strongest champion. champions, right? So I encourage you to cultivate your witness and tune back in guys I’m so excited listen to for those of you that have listened for those of you that have participated, and spiritual dope, thank you so much. 2020 has been one hell one hell of a year that I don’t think you will ever forget. And 2021 has a lot of really awesome things coming up for it in terms of for you.

I guarantee you you’ve got some really awesome things coming up. And then I also I want to tell you that you know, 2021 has some really awesome things coming up for spiritual dope. Have some amazing guests coming up. One of those this week Mr. Rao, I was able to secure a, a, an interview with him. And that’s just part of the miracles that have been created my year in 2020. And there’s so many other awesome and amazing guests and I’m so thrilled to be able to do this with you for those of you that have been reaching out and sharing your thoughts on the podcast, thank you. It means the world to me and I hope to we’ll continue on. Alright, we will continue on and looking forward to bringing you the best that I can. When I’m able, right so take it easy. This should be out for the holidays of 2020 enjoy your holiday season be safe, be well and until the next one

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Be sure to catch the Conscious Spirit Fest October 18 2020

Arizona Bell is the co-founder and CEO of Spirit Guides Media—a growing media network that’s dedicated to truth and driven by Spirit—and the host of the podcast A Matter of Life and Death with Arizona Bell. A grief coach and afterlife expert, Arizona is an inspirational speaker with the message that examining death and what happens to us after death is the absolute best way to live our richest, most meaningful lives here on Earth. A rising voice in the spiritual community, she appeared as a panelist on George Noory’s afterlife expert panel at the Afterlife Research and Education Institute Symposium in 2018 and speaks regularly at various conferences and events. Arizona’s book “Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics” is available now.

Arizona stopped by on Spiritual Dope as we covered all types of things:

What exactly is it about examing death that can inspire you to live your best life?

How do you transition from writing for medical journals to spirituality?

Different ways to pray & what exactly is OG meditation?

Make sure you check out everything Arizona has going on!

Catch up with Arizona on Instagram:

  • user avatarbrandon handley00:014321 Hey there, Spiritual Dope. This is Brandon Handley on with another outstanding guest Arizona bell, and she is the co founder and CEO of Spirit Guides Media
  • 00:15A growing media network that’s dedicated to truth and driven by spirit and the host of the podcast, a matter of life and death with Arizona bell
  • 00:23A grief coach and afterlife expert Arizona is an inspirational speaker with the message that examine that. And what happened was, after death is the absolute best way to live our richest, most meaningful lives here on her.
  • 00:35Arising voice in a spiritual community, she appeared as a panelist on great George Norris afterlife expert panel at the afterlife. Research Institute education Institute’s symposium in 2018
  • 00:47And speaks regularly at various conferences and events Arizona’s book sold magic ancient wisdom from the modern mystics is available now or is. Oh, thank you so much for popping out today, how are you
  • user avatarSpirit Guides00:59Hey, thanks for having me. Brandon, I’m doing really well, actually, uh, you know, you never know in 2020 with ups and downs of of everything. But today I’m doing great. I’m feeling good. How about you.
  • user avatarbrandon handley01:09I love it. Right, like 2020 if ever there was a a year where you seize the day right you take it for all that you can get out of it because you don’t know what’s around the corner right
  • user avatarSpirit Guides01:20And absolutely, if you’re not. If not now, when right
  • user avatarbrandon handley01:26I love 2024 for what is actually kind of brought brought to us right arm. I think there’s opportunity to
  • 01:32Do what you and I are doing on really kind of dig deep and live our authentic lives because you don’t know what’s around the corner. Really presented itself in 2020 that’s my honest opinion.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides01:43Absolutely. And just, I’ll just riff here for a minute, in my personal life. That’s how it worked out.
  • 01:48You know i i hit rock bottom and hit a period of grief in my life. And next thing you know, I’m like, Okay. Life’s too short. And it really put the fire under my butt. And I got to step in and live in my purpose. And I think on a collective level that’s what’s happening with 2020
  • user avatarbrandon handley02:03Is what it looks like right a lot. There’s a lot of raw files on
  • 02:06A lot bombs and and not to laugh, but it’s again just giving us the opportunity to bounce back. And so our spiritual resilience and what that but that kind of shine.
  • 02:15But they kind of shy so I like to start these off with, like, you know, the idea is that the creator speaks through us right and
  • 02:25Universe energies, energy, whatever speaking through us today and it’s delivering a message to one of our listeners that can only come through this instance right so what is that message that you would deliver to that person today.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides02:40This is man, this is interesting because right before this, I got on. And I do this typically
  • 02:45Every once in a while. I forget, but it’s kind of my routine to get to
  • 02:48Get into meditated mode. Before I go on, either my podcast or somebody else’s and say,
  • 02:54Let’s let the message come through that needs to be heard the most that helps the most amount of people
  • 02:59You know, it’s interesting. I’ve never been asked to to pick what that message is. So you put me on the spot, but um you know i i think that maybe the messages. What you kind of
  • 03:12You said spiritual resilience. I think that that’s the message of this year. And that’s the message, maybe of this podcast, because that’s where we started going right away. And I think just
  • 03:24The fact of the idea that human hearts are so resilient were built in Phoenix’s were born to burn and we’re born to rise. And I think that it’s really
  • 03:33Really important to remember that right now, when everything is burning down metaphorically or literally, you know. So I think it’s really important that we remember how resilient. We actually are.
  • user avatarbrandon handley03:46Built in Phoenix is built on Phoenix’s and
  • user avatarSpirit Guides03:49I don’t know where that came from. That was
  • 03:52That was like our archangel
  • user avatarbrandon handley03:54Was it right that’s it 100% you open yourself up to it and just allowed to kind of kind of come through.
  • 04:02And that’s exactly what it is. So, whoever’s out there. Just know that you have this built in Phoenix, whatever is kind of sparking you right now. You can kind of fan that and rise up out of the ashes into something more boys than you ever were before. Right.
  • 04:18Totally. Um, so let’s let them give some background, right, who is Arizona bell
  • 04:26Yeah, are you
  • 04:27Doing here. Um, you know, give us the lowdown
  • user avatarSpirit Guides04:30That’s literally what I’ve been asking myself all year. Who am I, why am I here. No, you know, I
  • 04:37I would have said, you know, for most of my life. Arizona bell is a writer, like, that was my identity that’s that’s who I showed up as and then a little, little bit over five years ago, about five and a half years ago.
  • 04:50My mother passed away. She was my best friend.
  • 04:53She was 59 when she passed away. I was 30 so that’s pretty young, relatively speaking for both of us. And we were very, very close in it. It ripped my world apart. And that was my burned down moment and
  • 05:05And eventually became my Phoenix moment, and it gave me, like I said, the fire under my butt to really step into my full
  • 05:14Purpose and alignment, whereas before I was just sort of dabbling, you know, I was like dabbling one foot into my spiritual purpose and the other into really messing around, and not really committing to anything and
  • 05:27You know, just that kind of stuff. And so, you know, after my mom passed. I did the grieving thing for her, you know, I’m still doing the grieving thing, but I did that pretty hardcore. And then I woke up one day and I said okay like
  • 05:39I’m going to do this, I’m going to do what Spirit wants me to do. So I basically surrendered to that to spirit to source to God to divine energy, whatever you want to call it. I said, All right, listen.
  • 05:52I get that I’m here for a reason. Show me what that reason is. Bring it to me every day and I’ll do it. So you know I stepped into service mode. Basically, which I wasn’t able to do before I hit rock bottom. And with that.
  • 06:05Came the starting of my company, which originally. Like I said, my background.
  • 06:09Background was in writing. So I started a little digital magazine called spirit guides magazine, because I
  • 06:15I was young, relatively young in the spiritual world and I saw that there was a huge void of spirituality being targeted to younger generations and therefore there’s a huge disconnect because
  • 06:26People my age millennials and younger weren’t really connecting with
  • 06:31The kinds of websites and graphics and conferences and kind of that that were sort of felt a little bit outdated, but we were hungering for spiritual knowledge so that was kind of the reason I started it.
  • 06:42And that little Instagram magazine has now evolved to a media company we’re called spirit guides media and within it. We have podcasts. We’re starting a radio station books.
  • 06:54Everything courses and thrown a festival with my good friend from conscious living PR Mona. So we just got everything going on. So that’s kind of a hope I answered the question. I don’t, I don’t know how to fully say who I am or why I’m here. But that’s a star, I guess.
  • user avatarbrandon handley07:09Sure how that that it’s a lot for us to work with. Right. So, that is how you and I connected we connected through Mona, Lauren, who was one of the first guest on this podcast.
  • 07:20And you know so super glad that we were able to get connected through her
  • 07:25Checked out spirit. Guys, you’ve got a lot going on there. Looks like it’s kind of a community right of built up around spirituality and. Is that what the intention is just kind of a community for, like, you know, will say for a younger generation. Is that what you’re saying.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides07:43You know, absolutely. The intention was to build a spiritual community. And even though we are gearing towards gearing it more towards
  • 07:52Visually towards younger people. I mean, spirituality is for everybody. So I have people across the board, you know, but we did. We did kind of dominate that you know
  • 08:0318 to 34 demographic. I mean, that’s, that is what our demographic is. And of course there’s outliers and the young at heart, and all that. But we did want to make it fresh and hip, you know, and that that was an intention and definitely
  • 08:17The spiritual community aspect of because for me. My personal story is, I was the lone wolf on the spiritual path. I didn’t have, you know, I wasn’t raised religious I didn’t have a spiritual community, as in the spiritual closet, to be frank, so
  • 08:30I did this year I did the spirituality thing by myself. And so I really did want to create a community.
  • 08:37For those that might be feeling the same way. And luckily, with the world that we’re living in with technology. It’s easier to do that, you know, like we’re doing this on zoom right now and and so I’m able to hold courses and
  • 08:49workshops and the festival, even now online and as membership community, so it’s it’s all able to be done online and it’s it’s absolutely to have a spiritual community in such a weird time
  • user avatarbrandon handley09:03And there’s no no better time for us so funny you mentioned your demographics, because you’re pulling off is right where I started on my demographics. Right.
  • 09:12Right on. And that’s and that’s simply because I speak to my generation, right. So you’re speaking to your generation, you know the language you know on the spiritual connection.
  • 09:21From that perspective. Right. And that’s not to say, like you said, there’s gonna be there’s gonna be people. There’s going to be the outliers that you attract but like you’re able really well able to speak to that specific group.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides09:33Right but but it ends there because I don’t do Tick tock. So I don’t know.
  • 09:37I don’t know how much younger. I can get that
  • user avatarbrandon handley09:40Tick tock. Tick tock. Some is
  • user avatarSpirit Guides09:43For sure.
  • user avatarbrandon handley09:44Somebody platforms right I’m and I’m doing I’m doing what I do.
  • 09:49Exactly.
  • 09:50So, so I get it, I get it.
  • 09:53When you know I want to give also this kind of premise of what you were into before you got into the spiritual realm, who and what type of content. Were you writing before you got in the conscious
  • 10:08Conscious right
  • user avatarSpirit Guides10:09Sure. You know, I think, well, I was doing a couple things. There was what I was doing for work. I was very fortunate to get paid to be a writer. I know a lot of people in the writing world.
  • 10:21seek that out. And what that I was writing for what pays. I was writing for medical journals and medical magazines and medical medical medical I was writing for universities, things like that.
  • 10:34But the big bucks were in the medical field. I was the editorial director at a magazine for physicians and an assistant assistant editor at a magazine an international magazine for doctors and dentists so
  • 10:49And, you know, with my mom passing away, she had cancer. So I was all up in the medical industry going through it with her and I just found myself writing things that I didn’t agree with. And so, it hit me.
  • 11:01For a while, I mean, I don’t want to get to the specifics, but
  • 11:06Yeah, just
  • 11:09Just the sick, I would call the sickness industry of the of the medical industry and just a lot of things that there were ignoring about actually keeping people healthy and I had to start to believe that maybe there was a an ulterior motive to keep people sick.
  • 11:26So I and I was publishing stuff like that, you know, and that’s all up for a matter of opinion, but from what I saw firsthand.
  • 11:35In the medical world with my mom and the unfairness. I will call it of that world I it wasn’t jiving for me on a soul level to be writing those things anymore. So there was a there was a pick on my soul that was like, ding, ding, ding, like, hey, you can’t
  • 11:49This doesn’t feel right and you care about integrity. Don’t forget that you care about integrity. Now, on, on the flip side, in my own personal selves. I was always drawn towards I guess soul centered content.
  • 12:03I called it love I called it like I was thinking more romantic love than spiritual, but I, I was always wanting to write about love and like
  • 12:11That kind of stuff. And like relationships and things like that, but um I so I was doing that on the side as well. I was writing for literary magazines and things like that.
  • user avatarbrandon handley12:21That’s fun. That’s fun. But I’ll tell you what I can. I know what you’re talking about with that little prick in the soul resonates with me real hard. I was in the insurance industry.
  • 12:32For a little bit. Right. And I was like, well, you know, you would you do demographics and you would do.
  • 12:40Do a risk assessment on the group as a whole. Right. And there’s a sick person or two in there.
  • 12:45You’re rich got jacked up with this doesn’t make much sense you know these people need the insurance. We’re going to raise the rates on them because they need it because they are sick because they are going to use it.
  • 12:53Or industry codes right same thing happens with industry codes. If they’re in of, you know, riskier business type
  • 13:00Their insurance rates are going to go up because they’ve got the they’re going to get the most well this person’s gone in here. So we’re gonna have to race, the race to cover that. So, um, I left, I left.
  • 13:10For very same thing. I was like, for a couple reasons. Actually, one was because of that soul prick right to was because and nothing wrong with people getting off on work every day you know into an office, but I couldn’t stand it. I was in my 20s and watching people that were zombies.
  • 13:27Right. What are these these these a tweet covered offices, you know, walk right. I was like, I was like, if this is gonna be my toys.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides13:35Yep. Oh, I completely relate to that. Yeah. I mean, look at me, I’m like,
  • 13:40There’s no way I can sit in an office. I mean,
  • 13:42I gave it my go you know I gave it my best go but somehow every job i got i ended up
  • 13:48And again, I told you this before. My mom was German. So I was raised with good work ethic. I know how to work hard and so I’d like work hard, prove myself, and then I’d be like, Listen, I gotta start working from home like this isn’t working for me.
  • 13:59You know, and somehow I always talk them into it. I guess that’s a skill I have but
  • 14:04But yeah, I wasn’t meant for that either. I totally hear what you’re saying and you know that that unfairness. As I said in that you as you just so eloquently described in the insurance industry. It goes, it goes in every, you know, it’s like in the banking industry like
  • user avatarbrandon handley14:17Somebody who
  • user avatarSpirit Guides14:17More like living paycheck to paycheck has to pay the fee to like have a bank account and then you know somebody who has loads of money doesn’t have to pay a fee doesn’t make sense that
  • user avatarbrandon handley14:28You know, you know it does. In the end, right, like, but you know we’re not going to get into it. Right.
  • 14:34But it’s like, Come on, man. Um, so, so you’re writing for like medical journals and all this other stuff. You have this kind of bent
  • 14:45You go through this and they jump into the spirituality, his face. I want to want to share with kind of
  • 14:51Peoples. And what was it like for you to begin to lead with spirituality. After what you’ve been doing your entire life and the Jeff overcoming fears deal with anybody was like, What are you thinking that type of thing.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides15:05Oh, big time. Yeah. As far as overcoming fears. So I’ll just say a couple things I had the idea for spirit guides
  • 15:14In my head tagline AND EVERYTHING FOR YEARS. YEARS. YEARS. YEARS BEFORE. My mom passed away years I knew I wanted to do it and not even that I wanted to. It was like it was just implanted in my mind my spirits like you’re gonna you’re going to need to do this.
  • 15:28And I started to get worried when the because i’m a i’m an idea person. So I get lots of ideas. I was starting to get worried when the idea didn’t go away because
  • 15:35It doesn’t go away. Dang, it’s meant for you, you know,
  • user avatarbrandon handley15:38So,
  • user avatarSpirit Guides15:39But I was too scared I was making pretty good money to be creative, you know, who am I to do this. And also, like I mentioned, I’m in the spiritual closet. Okay, I’m a party girl.
  • 15:50On one on one hand, and then I’m a spiritual girl when I go home like it. I did not have spiritual friends. You know what I’m saying.
  • 15:58So there’s a lot of fears to overcome. But again, when I got that asked my ass kicked by grief and loss and seeing death firsthand. It was like, all right, you got to live your life and you got to do this. So I basically like
  • 16:13I just kind of like came out of the closet and like didn’t like I didn’t even make a thing of it like I just was like one day I owned a spiritual media company.
  • 16:22And, you know, some people were like, what are you getting up to these days, you know, but it was it was a leap that I took private privately and probably shocked. Some people when I did it, but I didn’t want to go around having to explain myself to a bunch of people so
  • user avatarbrandon handley16:37That makes a lot of sense. Um, and you’re a lot of different types of coaching business Christians question spiritual around to like you know don’t have to go share your ideas with others. I’m just go do it right again. Good.
  • 16:51And that was
  • user avatarSpirit Guides16:51That was what I chose to do in that moment, because it honestly it made the most sense.
  • user avatarbrandon handley16:56Of it and then so
  • 16:59You start, you know, I don’t know how somebody just goes to earning a
  • 17:04media company, right. So what was that process like did you have to get investors or she is fired off like
  • 17:10On to the Instagram bit or did you find some people to back you, that type of thing.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides17:15Now it was completely driven by spirit. And again, I was in surrender mode by that point. So I was like,
  • 17:22I had an arrangement with spirit is like if you want me to do it. You got to bring it to me because I’m not going to go around.
  • 17:28Chasing after all this stuff. So I’m very fortunate that my brother and business partner is a tech developer. So I had that
  • 17:37And I basically called up one of my friends who was a another co founder who became another co founder with us, who I knew was into spirituality and could handle you know some of the things like social media all this stuff. And we just got together as a trio and and literally it was
  • 17:54You know, like guerrilla style startup and
  • 17:58And now the third party left, and it’s just me and my brother and we’re still we’re still running it in that way. And I like that way. I mean, I wish I could sit here and tell you that I had some
  • 18:08Big plan, you know, I, my German mom would have wanted me to have a better laid out plan. But I went with it. You know, I just, we just started on Instagram and started hyping it up because that’s where all the kids were and we were trying to, you know,
  • 18:24That’s where the kids Billy says where they used to hang out with. So that’s where we were talking to, at that time, and
  • 18:30We started to get a following. And then we just launched and and honestly all all I had in mind was to launch a digital magazine.
  • 18:39And because I was a writer. That’s all I wanted. You know, and I eventually wanted to write books and stuff. But from that is like all this stuff because I made that arrangement with spirit.
  • 18:48Now I’m like podcast Aston radio station and festival. All these things were like, not my ideas are now they’ve overrun the thing. So now it’s like it’s got a mind of its own.
  • user avatarbrandon handley19:00Reminds me of the Michael singer. Yeah, sort of experiment right um
  • 19:07So talk about what is surrender.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides19:11What is surrender mode. Well, I think there’s two kinds of surrender mode. There’s a surrender mode where we think we’re surrendering
  • 19:19Where we say we’re surrendering which was me a lot. I mean, I was
  • 19:23I’ve always been drawn towards spiritual and esoteric stuff so I knew I was writing before my mom that I was writing you know happiness is surrender. That’s where you find happiness, but I wasn’t doing it.
  • 19:34I wasn’t doing it fully. And I only realized that when I did it fully in that was when I had to when I had to fall to my knees.
  • 19:43Because there was nothing else there and, you know, Marianne Williamson, I’m probably going to butcher the, quote, but she says something along the lines of
  • 19:51There’s a certain desperation that’s required before you’re ready to face God and something like that. And that’s how I felt. And so to me, that is surrender mode where it’s
  • 20:02I am here to serve.
  • 20:05Your like basically I’m using my free will to serve your will spirit.
  • 20:12So it’s
  • 20:13To me, that’s true. Surrender mode, not just like, Oh, it’s okay. Let it go. That bad thing, you know, but actually surrendering to a will, that’s greater than your own that’s greater than your own ego as well and showing up for it every day reliably
  • user avatarbrandon handley20:29How do you show up for every day, right, like so. I get it. I love this. I love that. I love the idea of
  • 20:36You know surrender. And it’s really kind of how we started the podcast right now less fear talk through you to the listener. Right. And then that Phoenix between now and then there’s a. It’s kind of like the let go and let God right
  • 20:50Right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley20:51But to actually, you know, to say it’s one thing
  • user avatarSpirit Guides20:54How to do it.
  • user avatarbrandon handley20:55How to do it without freaking out, man. Right, without freaking out because
  • user avatarSpirit Guides21:00I never said I didn’t freak out.
  • user avatarbrandon handley21:03I love it. So, um,
  • user avatarSpirit Guides21:04But I will say this, I will say this. I mean I I wake up every morning and I meditate and I pray, basically I do that combo and and part of my prayer in my meditation is to say
  • 21:19You know, use me how you want to use me today.
  • 21:22And so that’s a way for me that’s like a action point for me every morning to state my intention which matters a lot that I’m here to be used for spirits will basically. And so whatever shows up for me that day.
  • 21:38I’m going to do it.
  • user avatarbrandon handley21:40Yeah assessments. Nice. Right. Um, and then the other part two is
  • 21:50Just the idea that these things keep opening up for you. And I mentioned kind of the surrender experiment from
  • 21:56Michael singer. And the reason I mention it because once you kind of open yourself up to it to be used to be used in service through this universal power.
  • 22:05And I love how you said you know I’m not going for it. It’s going to have to come to me right
  • 22:11You said you know what you want. This is what I want. But you know what, I surrender for you to show me the way type of thing, you know, talk a little bit about that because I think that that’s
  • 22:21That’s very important. Right. I’m a big fan of the idea is like its first of all, most people won’t like you said, you know what you want it right you know what you want to do you want to be a writer.
  • 22:31You wanted to start this media company and dig into it, but you didn’t know how, but now you got it. Is it fair to say
  • user avatarSpirit Guides22:39Yeah, definitely.
  • user avatarbrandon handley22:40And so this is the point that I’m trying to drive home is that you don’t have to know how, but you do have to make the decision that that’s what you want a life and that’s what I feel like you’ve done
  • user avatarSpirit Guides22:51Right. But I agree with you. You don’t have to know how I am living proof of that. You do have to know what what I will say is that asked
  • 23:00For what, when I sit in prayer and meditation every day. I mean, I feel like that’s a crucial point
  • 23:07Because we’re
  • 23:09I had to. I had to. I didn’t know that I always wanted to be a writer because I have that God given skill.
  • 23:16You know, so that’s a, that’s a natural way for me to go but
  • 23:22I didn’t know. I didn’t even know what necessarily either. I had to listen in meditation, like I didn’t know that I was going to start a media company.
  • 23:30Or a you know that I was gonna, I didn’t even know was going to do a podcast. I didn’t know the podcast was going to turn into a an internet radio station. I’ve got those downloads and meditation and prayer. You know what I’m saying.
  • 23:42So, but, and I will, I will circle back to the one thing that I did know is I knew I wanted to be a writer, and I knew that starting this digital magazine basically
  • 23:53would grant, grant me a following. And I knew that in the publishing world today because I had been told this by writers by published writers that you have to have a following to even get looked at basically
  • 24:04Well, and the magic numbers like 10,000, you know. So what we hit 10,000 and then it just kept expanding and expanding and expanding and I was so damn busy. Next thing you know, we’re at 50,000 followers and I’m saying to spirit, listen.
  • 24:20I still haven’t written the book actually haven’t even written
  • 24:23So I’m not going to go around chasing a book deal if you want me to write a book you bring it to me. Now that sounds absurd.
  • 24:29But three months later I had an email in my inbox, saying, hey, we have this book. It’s already sold to this major publisher and we think you’re great to write it, do you, what do you think
  • user avatarbrandon handley24:40So they have the concept of the book.
  • 24:42Yeah works on a writer and they needed a writer.
  • 24:45And you read it. Yeah.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides24:47And that’s the thing these days, they already sell the concept of books, but you know now that sets me up to write the book that I want to write to write the books that I really want to write, you know what I’m saying. So
  • 24:56It’s a pause for a second, though, because you know
  • user avatarbrandon handley25:00There’s also the again.
  • 25:04There’s, there’s the idea of, you know, feeling a little bit of a law of attraction space, making the demand was fear, right, or like the idea of you asking it is given and just let it come to you.
  • 25:17Right right hand to me right if I’m coming from a law of attraction space. I’m like, Hey, I’m here, how to end up here. You’re living example of this right and or of
  • 25:28Trusting the universe is another right as like your benefactor, you’re like hey universe. This is what I like. You can just go ahead and have that show up. I’m not going to go chasing it
  • 25:40But then it shows up, and you’re like, Well, what’s next.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides25:43Right. And that, that means that means it’s for you because you you can go out there and say hey universe. This is what I want.
  • 25:52I’m not going to chase it bring it to me and you’re not, you might not get it.
  • 25:57Because it’s not meant for you.
  • user avatarbrandon handley25:58And that’s great too. Right. Like I make the lines of, you know, if I would have had a lot of money. When I was younger, or like an open like have liked it. Like, I felt like I wanted, I probably would have died.
  • 26:11Like, I mean, right, it would have been a bad. So the universe is like no
  • 26:16No, no bad idea, right, you’re not ready for that. Sorry.
  • 26:20Yeah, and or we don’t want you right now, right, you’ve got more things to do. And that’s, that’s another thing that I kind of look at this as like if you made it this far in your life and like you’re
  • 26:28Still kind of wandering around. I like you know for the for the person that is
  • 26:33So meaningful life, you know, perhaps there is and you know you guys start figuring that out because there’s no reason for you still be here.
  • 26:40One 400 what a trillion to be born and make it through like not get hit by a car or a bus eaten all that crazy crappy thing that G and just in some of whatever we know what you’re doing out there. Right. But you’ve lived
  • 26:52And and and and so you’ve got a purpose and to live it. So one of the purposes that you found is by going through, you know, kind of hitting this rock bottom right, I want to just
  • 27:03dive off dependency the grief coach and afterlife expert aspect of it because we haven’t yet. Um, let’s talk about how you ends up even there.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides27:12Sure. I mean, it’s kind of a wild story, um,
  • 27:17Because I, I didn’t want to end up there that wasn’t I joke. I never thought in my life. I want to be a grief and afterlife expert.
  • 27:26Can can promise you that. But, you know, after my mom passed away. And after I did the really hardcore grieving for for a while.
  • 27:36I just, I think, you know, I had already started spirit guides and I was like, you know,
  • 27:41Like, I want to go train to be a grief coach and it just kind of came to me and I was like, all right, I’ll start looking into programs and I did and I found one. And I went and I liked it and i and i just got trained. You know, I just did it, but
  • 27:55But, and I wasn’t even
  • 27:57I didn’t even know what I was going to do with it. I just felt intuitively intuitively nudge there. So I did it. And then shortly very shortly after I had a medium ship reading
  • 28:09And the medium. Then in the middle, in the middle of it. She’s like, and she’s a very, very, I had to wait a year to get a meeting with her. She’s a very, very popular medium and
  • 28:23In the middle of that she’s like, What are you doing, I need to
  • 28:27And she’s like, I’m so I’m not gonna take up your time of your reading. But after this. I need to talk to you what you’re doing. Like my spirit guides are telling me I need to talk to you.
  • 28:34So we end up having a chat and she’s like, Oh, I told her about spirit guides, like I’ve been trying to reach younger people, and she’s like you and then a week later I got an email from her. And she said, I want to invite you to be to speak at this afterlife conference.
  • 28:49And I was like,
  • 28:51I’m not
  • 28:54Know that, like, I’m not qualified to be here and she wrote back, I’ll never forget it. And she’s like, Arizona, my dear, I have been told that you are going to be a very profound afterlife researcher and you need to be at this event. And I was like, what
  • 29:07So I went to this event to and I sat on a panel talking about spirituality, like in younger generations and my mind blew way open because I didn’t know much about the afterlife, other than
  • 29:21My mom had died. I hope she was still alive and I went to a medium to find out, you know,
  • 29:26So I guess the, the, that’s the long answer. The short answer is, like, Spirit just drove me there and And ever since that first conference, it was just so obvious that that’s what I was going to be doing that I had a place in that world for whatever reason.
  • user avatarbrandon handley29:43So along with being a CEO media company you’re also doing like this grief coach. Is that right,
  • user avatarSpirit Guides29:51Yeah, you know, and you know, I hadn’t dove into the coaching part as much as I wanted to. Originally, just because I have been so busy now with
  • 30:03And and people grieving everything because grief, you know, grief, there’s a misconception. That’s grief, just for
  • 30:11a loved one who’s passed away grief is for any change dramatic change in your world, which we are collectively experiencing like all of the changes right now, so I am
  • 30:24Drawing more back into that coaching aspect and I’m starting to get some things lined up in that way because I think it’s so important and and I’ve been basically advised by all of my spiritual advisors that that’s something that I need to get going on right now too, so
  • user avatarbrandon handley30:40I love it. Right. So just a little bit about what it means right to
  • 30:45Examine death and use this kind of as a catalyst to live our riches, the most meaningful lives.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides30:53Sure. So what people don’t know is that there’s so much afterlife research out there.
  • 30:59It’s not mainstream so we don’t hear about it or you know it’s not it’s doesn’t get MAJOR FUNDING so we don’t hear about it, but there’s so much independent afterlife research outfit out there and there’s so much documentation that to me proves that consciousness exists beyond
  • 31:18beyond physical death right i totally spaced out your question, though. I’m gonna go go off on a tangent
  • 31:24Oh,
  • user avatarSpirit Guides31:27I get into my afterlife brain. And I’m like, Okay.
  • user avatarbrandon handley31:30So before I let you go into the next piece of what would it so somebody wants to go buy some information for themselves in the afterlife research. Where’s the first place that you would direct them.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides31:43So there’s an. There’s an organization called the afterlife. Research and Education Institute AR e AI and they are great starting off point.
  • 31:53I feel bad because I didn’t fully answer your last question, but my mind.
  • user avatarbrandon handley31:56Told me
  • user avatarSpirit Guides31:58But, uh, anyway. So that’s a great place to start off at
  • 32:02And they, you know, they are doing research, their funding researchers, all kinds of stuff and and they’re just signing up on their newsletter. There’s also
  • 32:11There’s a newsletter that is run by a couple in Australia. That’s really famous. It’s called the Friday afterlife report and every Friday, they send out a newsletter of all this afterlife research that’s either
  • 32:23From the past or that’s come up in the past week there’s tons of it out there. So those are the two places I would start the afterlife report. It’s with Victor and Wendy’s dammit, and then AR e AI afterlife. Research and Education Institute or
  • user avatarbrandon handley32:38So the question we had was, um, how’s examining death. And what happened was the absolute best way to move on.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides32:48So, yes, yes, yes, yes. See, now that’s a very important question. That’s why I was having a hard time letting it go. Um, it’s so important because of all the research that’s out there, which is what I was getting into.
  • 33:02It proves beyond a shadow of a doubt in my mind, from what I’ve seen. And what I’ve learned and what I’ve experienced and what I’ve researched that
  • 33:10our physical bodies dies die, but our souls. Do not that we continue to live in the afterlife. Okay, so with that being said, the information that our loved ones that spirit guides
  • 33:23That
  • user avatarSpirit Guides33:25That arc angels, all of these beings and entities that are in on the other side, the information that can be channeled through them is so vital.
  • 33:37To how we live our best lives. So it’s, it’s an interesting paradox because we don’t tend to think about death or the afterlife until we’re faced with it because we’re so busy thinking about life and
  • 33:47How we can live our best lives, but from what I’ve learned is that we can learn a lot about living our best lives from that wisdom that comes through the other side.
  • 34:00And it’s a shame that people I feel it’s a shame that people my age don’t get to do that very often because I’m the youngest one at these events. Okay, like
  • 34:09I still don’t know many people that have lost their primary you know parent or something like that, that in my age group, and my peer group so they feel like they are
  • 34:19getting robbed of that wisdom because they’re not going to go looking into the death or the afterlife. So I do kind of feel like
  • 34:26It’s my job to sort of bridge that gap because there’s so much knowledge about how we can best live our lives that comes from looking at those more taboo topics.
  • user avatarbrandon handley34:37You know what’s funny to me is just this morning I was listening to a song, ya know which one I listened to so many um I got a Swami the chain. I’m the
  • 34:49But the idea is that, like, there’s one in 1000 that’s capable of kind of taking this information right that the what you got. Right, so
  • 35:00You’re kind of the light is lighting all those around you, as it were, with what you do. So I think that that’s kind of the challenge, no matter what age group is
  • 35:09Right when you when you kind of stumble across this you know it’s like you’re saying you’re like everybody needs to know that you can live this magnificent way. Let’s follow me. We’re gonna sneak in and and
  • 35:20Rightfully nobody’s like I was like, no.
  • 35:23Um, but what I want to hit on though is that, you know, when you experienced this grief when you experienced though your mother’s passing
  • 35:36I guess like ripping the veil right between you and the spirit world and
  • 35:42Would you, would you explain it like that. Would you describe it like that. And would you
  • 35:47Would you describe your experience with trying to share this information with other people is being challenging and not being able to accept it.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides35:56Um,
  • 35:59Yeah there it was totally an unveiling will say brought me so much closer. I mean, it was even the night, my mom passed away I her apparition came to me and I was awake, like, and she came and hugged me so the veil yeah it thinned an immensely immediately.
  • 36:20Has the information been hard for me to get out and for people to accept.
  • 36:27I want the answer to be that it’s been really difficult. Like for dramatic effect, but it hasn’t it hasn’t. And I think that’s because
  • 36:37I’m attracting the people that want it. I’m not, I’m not trying to go out there and be a missionary or
  • 36:44Or an evangelical about anything, you know, and I have zero religious ties or affiliation, which is interesting with afterlife. I mean, every, every
  • 36:53Every serious spiritual or I’m sorry, every spirit serious religion has believed in the afterlife and has after life.
  • 37:01Philosophy and I think that, you know, obviously, a lot of people thrown out religion in their lives. And I think that was kind of like we threw the baby out with the bathwater, kind of thing.
  • 37:10So I’m not, I’m not attached to any religion or anything like that. So I don’t think that I come off as missionary. I just think I, I tried to share my authentic experience and people who are looking for.
  • 37:23Some answers to their own grief. They find me and it’s so far the. The result has been one of comforting for them, rather than
  • 37:34You know, combative or I don’t believe what you’re saying. So I maybe I’m fortunate in that but you know it hasn’t it hasn’t been too difficult. It’s actually been very rewarding. I think
  • user avatarbrandon handley37:44I can see that, especially online. What about a person
  • user avatarSpirit Guides37:48Well in person. It’s like I’m
  • 37:49Preaching the choir, you know, I’m going to
  • 37:52But I will say this, I will say, even in my because I told you about my history as a, you know, being in the spiritual closet and everything, even the people in my life who like my family who’s known me forever and
  • 38:02You know weren’t into these things at all. They just by osmosis have
  • 38:07By coming to my events by hearing my podcast, things like that. And now they’re there, you know, exploring their own stuff and their own afterlife. And now they’ve
  • 38:16Had certain people passed away and they’re reaching out to mediums and investigating like oh yeah I remember Arizona said this, so let me invest it on my own. So it’s kind of like planting the seeds, you know,
  • user avatarbrandon handley38:27Not 100% i think that what you’ve done is, is by your by leading by example you’ve given them permission. Right.
  • 38:33Yeah, showing them that you can step into the space without going on claims.
  • 38:39Right, right. That is a good that it can be a good thing. Um, I like that you kind of touched on, you know, kind of these religions and throwing the baby out with the bathwater, and
  • 38:51As far as I can tell right religions are kind of like this.
  • 38:56Again, just like one of the thousands going to kind of understand this information right and then my kind of wants to do this just the whole
  • 39:03You know, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear right and then does you like Panda hated that lines real
  • 39:11Quick. Um, but the thing. And I think that’s the attraction of some of the Eastern philosophies right because they’ve been so the console like
  • 39:19Christianity bad, you know, the pope did this and you know those priests did that and all these things so that like they just won’t accept it, even though, like the exact same thing as being in 99% of the same
  • 39:30thing over here and like these Eastern religions and they’re all if you got a contract is out, man. Look what I found, like
  • 39:36You know, so I think that it really gives us people the opportunity to framework right for for their space.
  • 39:43And for everybody else is kind of rejected if there’s people like yourself, and I don’t like, well, there’s this other space. We can hang out into what’s been said and all these other places, but you just want to have this different same conversation. Let’s do it.
  • 39:54Right, right, right. Um,
  • 39:56Let’s talk about
  • 39:57The fest coming up. So this is podcast, I’m probably you know this weekend, which will I know the dates are like 928 or something like that.
  • 40:09But you know what’s the festival. Let’s talk about what you got a
  • user avatarSpirit Guides40:12Spiritual
  • user avatarbrandon handley40:13On 2020
  • user avatarSpirit Guides40:14Cool. Yeah. So it’s the conscious spirit fest. It’s a collaboration between myself.
  • 40:20And my company spirit guides media and Mona Loring and her company conscious living PR and so it’s conscious spirit fest. It’s on October 10 or no, it’s not. It’s on October 18 I was thinking 10 for October is on October 18 2020
  • 40:36It’s a Sunday, and it’s basically it’s an all day online virtual festival, because that’s what we’re doing now virtual all day long and
  • 40:45We’re so excited about it. We basically curated the event that we wanted to have right now.
  • 40:51You know we are lonely and isolated and we do need spiritual community, one way or another right now. And so we wanted to build something for people to
  • 41:02Unite and people who who are want to focus on Unity right now in this crazy polarized role. And so we’ve. We have everything from yoga in the morning to guided meditations to sound healing to breath work. And then we have amazing speakers that are talking about everything from
  • 41:21How to deal with this pandemic burnout to energy protection for light workers, we’re going to have a medium come and do live medium ship readings and we our keynote speaker is column Adele, who’s an astrologer, and he’s going to be talking about
  • 41:38You know the astrology coming up, you know, for 20 2021 and all that. And in astrology in these uncertain times and what what what we might have to look forward to, you know, the good, the bad, and the ugly or whatever.
  • 41:51So, so, yeah. It’s basically a day for everybody to come together and do all things mystical and create a spiritual community and
  • 41:58And hang out together. So we’re really, really excited about it.
  • user avatarbrandon handley42:02Now this sounds exciting. Like I said, you know, I think I saw Mona’s paying off on Instagram. I saw start following it, and it seems like you know
  • 42:10I love what you guys are putting together their talk to me a little bit about the astrologer, I think he’s got like a little bit of a baton. What’s his What’s his
  • user avatarSpirit Guides42:17So called Collins handle on Instagram is queer cosmos. And so he has he’s he’s and he is
  • 42:24He’s an amazing gay man and he started doing astrology for the queer community and which is was novel at the time, you know, and but more than that. I mean, he is
  • 42:35He’s one of my favorite guests have on my podcast. I’ll say that right now. He’s so enjoyable. He’s brilliant. I mean IQ off the charts and he’s he’s so fun. So anytime that he’s around. It’s a good time. And I definitely recommend following him on Instagram at clear cosmos. He’s great.
  • user avatarbrandon handley42:55So yeah, I remember that you’re seeing them and chocolate.
  • 42:59Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley43:00Funny Guy when I grew up. I grew up, like in the gay community, you know, was out in San Francisco, San Francisco in the 80s right and and the one thing that happened out there was like my mom was an altercation with
  • 43:16Her significant other, at the time, and he ended up by children and stuff. And so I ran across it, you know, the neighborhood and got these guys on the bed and they came. I can’t rescue my mom so
  • 43:28Oh wow, for the rest of my life, you know, gay guys have a
  • 43:30Have a soft spot in my heart. Right. And it’s just been in that community. It’s, it’s fun, right. Like, I mean,
  • user avatarSpirit Guides43:36Oh, there’s no doubt about that.
  • user avatarbrandon handley43:37So it’s always a good time.
  • 43:39See on
  • 43:40Where, you know, should I send people to come check out more actually know what before I do that,
  • 43:45I’ve done this for a minute, just because you know so the idea to have spiritual though.
  • 43:48Is that you get this kind of you for high thru spirituality. Right. And that’s like on the on the take us a spiritual dope is about that and then like
  • 43:58You know, what’s your spiritual hit right like and it talks about meditation, but when you when you’re connected to source where, what does that look like
  • user avatarSpirit Guides44:08Whoo. Yeah, there’s, there’s two for me. So definitely meditation. I’m a avid meditation or
  • 44:15But their original Oh gee, writing, man. That’s my space. That’s my timelessness, that’s the
  • 44:20One place where I don’t care if I haven’t eaten and that’s saying a lot. I love to eat. You know what I’m saying. Like that’s that’s the time where time flies and I just
  • 44:30I’m in so much joy and I’m so inspired. I’m in spirit. You know that’s that’s where it is for me is when I’m writing. And so this man I’m preaching to myself right now. I got to clear it more time in my schedule to do it.
  • 44:43But yeah, that’s my spiritual dope for sure is is being in that creative zone.
  • 44:50I love that question.
  • user avatarbrandon handley44:52Thank you. So the idea that too is like i mean i would i would i would say that
  • 45:00You know, create you are creators right
  • 45:03Yeah. And then when you surrender to that creativity. That’s
  • 45:08within you, right, that is source flowing through you. Is that fair to say
  • user avatarSpirit Guides45:13Oh yeah 100%. I mean, we would we call God the Creator. And if you look at metaphysical principles as above, so below. We are here to create
  • 45:26You know, and that’s why that nine to five working somebody else’s dream and fluorescent lit room didn’t work for me because I felt that called to be creative. I felt, what am I doing here, if I’m not creating
  • user avatarbrandon handley45:37Something
  • user avatarSpirit Guides45:38And now you can be creative, creative doesn’t mean writing or painting all the time, creative can mean coming up with a scientific cure for cancer or whatever, you know, using your creative brain. You’re in passionate about it. And so I absolutely agree with you.
  • user avatarbrandon handley45:52I love that you hit on life because
  • 45:55People don’t always recognize that they feel like creativity has to be writing painting singing, dancing.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides46:02Brain, the arts.
  • user avatarbrandon handley46:03The classical arts
  • 46:05Yeah, right. But
  • 46:08And I know as somebody one day.
  • 46:11You just got it. What is it that you’d like to create and I’m like, Well, I’m not very creative like
  • 46:14You know you’re raising kids are doing this that the other than your training things right, you’re making moments, you’re creating moments I mean creativity is more than, you know, put a pretty picture right so I love that you hit on that. Thanks for hanging on that.
  • 46:29Yeah, what type of meditation do you do it, you
  • user avatarSpirit Guides46:34Got just you didn’t do not asked me that question.
  • 46:37I am I am not.
  • 46:39Trained in meditation at all. I’m self taught and
  • 46:44For whatever reason, I’m pretty good at it. I just I lay down you can see my bed back there. I lay down horizontally. I don’t sit in lotus position or anything I lay down on my bed.
  • 46:54I play some Native American flute music and I go in
  • 46:57Los
  • user avatarbrandon handley46:59That’s great to write in terms of meditation or a feeling it’s got to be done a certain way or like, yeah, I did a really shitty meditation this morning.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides47:09I i think
  • 47:11I think I you know it’s the keep it simple, stupid like that’s that’s been my philosophy for
  • 47:17My spiritual path and it’s what’s worked out for me. Like I and I you know in my company I’ve seen it all. I promote people that do it all. I’m talking like all the all the modalities and the
  • 47:29Divination tactics and all this stuff and I’m Oh gee prayer and meditation and you know we all just got to do what works for us.
  • user avatarbrandon handley47:38To so they
  • 47:40Just show us what your prayer. Looks like I always say this because I think of this Norman Vincent feel kind of skip
  • 47:49It’s not as good. It’s like when he’s doing his own in power positive thinking thing.
  • 47:53And talks about this lady testing because you when you pray you don’t like out there like a beggar.
  • 47:59You know, you’re like oh please give me all these things would you like you demand you know much very somewhere, come what you’re talking about, like,
  • 48:07I’m not going after it. It’s got to come to me like these are things I want you know. So what’s your, what’s your prayer look like. Just out of curiosity,
  • user avatarSpirit Guides48:13Yeah, I mean it’s it. That is a good point it start, the only it starts always with gratitude.
  • 48:20Always with gratitude and and then I do go into my demands. I do feeling that I’ve, I’ve had the shift from beggar to
  • 48:30You know, this is, this is what I this is what is going to be brought to me and I, and I’ve learned that over time through spiritual mentors, saying, you know, you
  • 48:38This is yours for the taking. You can you demand that so I start with gratitude and and I pray for you know what I need. In most of the time that’s to take away my
  • 48:50Worries and stresses and concerns because that’s the only thing in my way. So I do pray for that to be taken and I pray for the people that I love and I pray that
  • 49:02You know that love walks before me wherever I go. And then I pray to be used, how spirit needs me. And then I say, thank you.
  • 49:11Yeah.
  • user avatarbrandon handley49:12Um, this will be like my last question.
  • 49:17So when you. I like the idea of writing when you write
  • 49:24With a pen in hand right or doesn’t have to be. But I feel like that’s what I’m most connected. I like to call it cosmic record player. This is my cosmic needle right
  • 49:36You know, do you have a preference of writing by hand or typing.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides49:41I’m
  • 49:43I’m right differently. I write, I write both ways. And I write for different reasons I I write. I typically write
  • 49:52Pen in Hand in my journal when I’m writing for myself and nobody else if that makes sense. And for my own clarity and my own as you say connection.
  • 50:03But it’s all about the computer for everything else.
  • 50:07My hand hurts too much.
  • user avatarbrandon handley50:10Out of out of curiosity, right, like yourself. Once
  • user avatarSpirit Guides50:13I do agree with you though there’s there’s different
  • 50:16A whole different vibe. When you got the pen in your hand. Right, right.
  • user avatarbrandon handley50:20Now, and look, I mean, it takes a lot to to write Tom by paper.
  • 50:27Pretty fast, man.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides50:28Yeah, exactly.
  • user avatarbrandon handley50:31Okay, so where we’re gonna need to go a couple places or warm place. So we’re gonna go to find you and the spirit fast.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides50:39Sure, I’m okay. Ultimately, you can go to spirit guides media.com for everything that I do. And on top of the navigation.
  • 50:48At spirit guides media com you will see a link that says festival and that is where you can learn more about it. You can see the lineup. The full lineup. I didn’t touch on everything.
  • 50:58And also purchase tickets and we are offering a sliding scale pay what you can because times are tough and that is
  • 51:05I feel the responsible thing to do. So we have that offered and other than that, you can find me on instagram at spirit guides media or my personal one is at underscore Arizona bell. I think that covers everything
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:20No.
  • 51:22Um, well, this event view digitally after the past
  • user avatarSpirit Guides51:28Great question. Can’t believe I forgot to say that. Absolutely. So if you are able to catch none of it live or half of it live or all of it live and want to watch it again. We will send out a replay of the entire day video. So you’ll get to see it all.
  • user avatarbrandon handley51:43Awesome, Arizona. Thank you so much for stopping by.
  • user avatarSpirit Guides51:45Thanks, Brandon. It’s been a joy and a pleasure.